Federico del pueblo

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About Federico del pueblo

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  1. You can call it toxic masculinity or anything else you want to call it. There simply is truth to what I wrote. I didn't say that women were not allowed to just not like you, they are ofc. But when you get much more experienced, it simply happens much less frequently. There is nothing self depricating about this, it is on the contrary, self empowering. If you are mature enough to understand that making mistakes is completely fine and don't create any negative meaning about it, then all that is left are experiences and chances to learn. You're also building a strawman here. As if I had said that you are entitled to fuck somebody just because you are into her, lol, read my text again. "Aggressively masculine"?! Where do you even see me implying that? I talked about improving skills and gaining experience, not about aggressively yelling at a girl to do what you want her to do.
  2. When, where and how do you want your execution to take place? No just kidding Well guess what. You learned from the experience. You already pointed out things you did wrong/could improve on, and that's good. When she says things like "no you didn't really do anything wrong, it just didn't click", forget that, that's just girls' nonsense to not hurt your feelings. Even if she can't put her finger exactly on what was missing, it still just basically means "I didn't feel enough masculinity coming from you, therefore I wasn't attracted enough". But you know what, that's ok. That's why you're here. That's why you're working on your confidence. And if you keep doing it at some point you will hear the "it just didn't click" kinda thing much less frequently. Or any similar thing like: "We just didn't have good chemistry" "I didn't feel like we had a good connection" "My baby rabbit is sick, so I have to stay at home"
  3. Because you do exist. Even if it is just within this big hallucination, in which everything is imaginary. The imaginary you reached out to imaginary others on an imaginary forum, all of which are the same. Why did you reach out to others if there are no others to answer your question? You're just talking to yourself in the end.
  4. That's really sad to hear...This guy probably had his own insecurities and therefore needed to judge others. That's a common pattern. It's especially sad because, generally speaking, guys like it when girls flirt. It happens way too rarely and only few girls are good at it. The ones who are good at it are often the most fun. This doesn't mean that a girl must be cheap and just jump in the bed with every guy immediately. But you know what...some guys just think like this, they are just fucked up mentally. They like to slut shame and think that they are on some moral high ground and can judge what is "good" and what is "bad" in a girl. Sounds good. Take your time. Don't put pressure on yourself that you have to be this super charming girl very soon. One step after another. And again, whenever you are expressing yourself authentically there is a chance of not being liked the way you are, at least by some people. It's inevitable. You have to choose between being your true self and being liked (or disliked) for it OR trying to please everybody by doing everything the way others think is right. But that's just exhausting and frustrating.
  5. We enjoy both. Little anecdote: Some years ago an Italian girl approached me in a Prague night club. I was staring at some weird spinning machine kind of thing that was installed at the ceiling...she just sat down next to me and said something like "that thing looks crazy right?! Hi I'm [Italian girl's name]". Then we had some really fun back and forth. After about 45 minutes she suddenly pulled me closer to her and said something along the lines of "or how about if now we have some hot kissing", and proceeded to give me one of the most passionate kisses I've ever received. I loved it. Months later we met for a weekend in another major European city and spent an entire weekend together. She was one the coolest girls I've ever met, and we wouldn't even know each other, had she not approached me. These are the unhelpful parts of your social conditioning and typical "girl's fears". You flirting with him may be the very thing that make him be into you. But sure, whenever two people communicate, one can misinterpret the other person or their intentions and so on, you can never fully exclude the possibility of being misunderstood, embarrassed etc. If you want to have a good life you must get used to doing things that are hard, sometimes awkward and often also against the mainstream. It could also "make you look like" you are confident and know what you want. If you have relationship intentions you can still communicate that too. Take your own opinion of yourself more importantly than other people's (potential) opinions of yourself.
  6. This is happening in your head. If the same thing happened to me I would think "look at this girl... finally one who just comes to point without all the bullshit, why are there not more girls like this?!". You can never exclude that a guy really thinks in a certain way of you, but if he really does think like this, then he is the low quality person, not you.
  7. Traditionally it's like this, but this is also a bit of an entitled attitude. You want to lean back and let the guy do the work. Maybe you just don't want to make yourself any more vulnerable. So now that we've gotten to where women have equal rights and opportunities many girls still want to benefit from the "advantages" of traditional roles, but also also have all the benefits of equality. Equal rights and opportunities come with equal responsibilities. Of course this is not what it looks like in practice as of now. Don't feel weird about taking the lead, at least up until a certain point. Later on hopefully he will begin to take the lead (or not and thus probably turn you off). We guys have to do this all the time and it's not like this comes to us easily. We don't get spoon fed with this stuff and have to figure it out mostly by ourselves. (But again, now that you've already sent the last text, wait for his response ofc).
  8. So just for my understanding: You found him good-looking but he is average looking? It should, but if it doesn't then he is either not interested or doesn't really understand girls. I mean if you had told me that he is super hot and awesome, then I would still recommend you to flirt and ask him out (in a non-desperate way). Of course this comes with the possibility of being rejected for your advances, but rejection doesn't mean shit, we have to risk it if we want good dating options. Yes. Don't send another text if he doesn't respond. No need to be desperate
  9. Yeah, could be that he really isn't that interested, if he's so good looking maybe he's already got some female options right now in his life. It could also be that he simply sucks with girls, doesn't know what to do, what to ask etc. and maybe he even thinks you should make a move (as in asking him out or so) because you started the chat, this would be weird, but is possible. It also sounds like this is already taking way to long, just perpetuating on the platonic level with boring questions etc. You could have thrown in some flirtatious things like "haha you seem cute :)" and also asked if he might want to meet you some time soon. For me this would never take much longer than 5 texts back and forth... "Hey...how do feel about having drinks (and flirty banter) with a charming, eloquent blonde girl? :)"
  10. This is more or less what epigenetics is all about. It's still a fairly new science, but the premise is that your environment (your outer and inner environment) impacts your gene activation. E.g. things like toxins, stress and trauma can lead to certain specific genetic changes that will impact your health. I don't think you can go so far as to generate a specific level of a hormone, but maybe you could. There are some authors/teachers who discuss this in their books (and also on YouTube) and have come up with their own meditation techniques to affect epigenetic processes in the body, to help people heal from chronic illnesses. In their teachings they sort of mix this stuff together with spiritual teachings about consciousness, god, the quantum field etc. So it's not really scientific as a whole, but they do conduct science themselves at their workshops that demonstrates the effects of their techniques. You could check out: Dr. Joe Dispenza (You are the placebo) Bruce Lipton (the biology of belief) Dawson Church (The genie in your genes)
  11. Maybe there is some fear of rejection going on, so with girls who don't give you certain signals (act neutral) you don't want to risk saying anything flirtatious? Anyway you have to start flirting with them too, and it only takes one person (you) to make the interaction man to woman. Like this you force her to make a decision, she will either start to like you or dislike you. There's no way around this. You must face the possibility of getting rejected for your sexual/romantic interest. Think of a bunch of low-key flirtatious things to say and use them, then let these things become more heavily flirtatious (escalation), but stay calibrated, so if it gets too much for her tone it back a little bit again and throw something in later on. "ok...you seem kinda interesting (eye contact)...blablabla..." "haha...you got some cute facial expressions...anyway... blablabla..." "That's adorable what you just said/did.... blablabla..." "That was a dangerous look you just gave me..." "What? Really?! You have to stop being so cute...I don't wanna fall in love right now ;)"
  12. Amazing resource! Thanks!
  13. That's really interesting stuff in this other post. Thanks!
  14. Not necessarily true. They are not as determined as men to have a one night stand, but many of them are definitely open for it. They may say that - generally - they are looking for a relationship, but that doesn't mean that they are not fine with having ONSs or more casual relationships until they find their guy for a long-term relationship. If you ask them then they might not admit the above mentioned things, but this has to do with judgement, reputation and so on (but of course some women ONLY want long-term relationships). Yes. With women who are ok with more loose relationships (friends with benefits or whatever) it can be perceived as a win for both sides. And these women exist. Not necessarily. It could just as well make her want to have sex with him. In this case it feels validating for her (it's a win), when the guy seems to be more "high value" (laughable term in my eyes 😂) and she will happily sleep with him and then think "that was awesome, and it just so happened". Surely later on she may still want to get him in a relationship, but that's another story. If he then clearly communicates that he doesn't want to be in a relationship she may continue sleeping with him whatsoever, until she finds her relationship guy. Potentially, but not necessarily. It's more likely to turn her off if she feels judged or shamed for being sexual ("slut shaming"), which is the case for many but not all women. The women who are completely ok with their sexual desires won't have a problem with it, but with them it's also not necessary to even communicate this, the two of you just end up in bed and from there you see where things go. Though, you're sexual desire shouldn't be so unconditional ("just want to sleep with her"), even if she's hot. Typically a girl still wants to feel like she had to convince you of her, and that you wouldn't just have sex with any other girl and have some standards etc. That's a belief. It may be "true" as of now, but it's not set in stone. You can become a little bit edgy too. Don't try to be completely different immediately. Just slowly shift in another direction (if you want to).
  15. Interesting. Thank you!