Federico del pueblo

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  1. Hi everyone, Some of you might remember a post I made at end of July: In this post I talked about how I didn't tolerate a LSD experience and fell into some pretty dark hole a few days after the trip. Interestingly the trip was not nightmarish, there was just a rather negative moment when seemingly I brought up a bit too much of a specific trauma related emotion. That must have sort of blown apart my barriers a bit too much. A few days after the experience I got triggered by one of my common triggers and then spiraled down into full blown panic. I then had to deal with this severe anxiety or panic for almost a week. In this time there really was no control over my emotions, the gates were simply too wide open and I had the most disturbing worst case scenario thoughts in my mind, which I could barely stop even though I did my best to not ruminate. I suspect that these days must have sort of overburdened my emotional processing system in the brain. The intensity of anxiety then gradually decreased and now I mostly have about the same levels of anxiety as before the experience. Though I'm now dealing with depressive feelings stemming from a kind of pessimism and hopelessness regarding my entire life, especially my mental and overall health and thus my future perspectives. Let me explain the constellation: For over a decade I've been dealing with chronic fatigue syndrome and for a whole bunch of years I haven't been able to work because of it. At the same time it seems obvious to me that this health condition was created by chronic stress and years of emotional problems stemming from earlier traumatic developments. Now in this situation of joblessness and health issues of course my emotional issues initially got worse too, but I've been working on them for years and have actually managed to now feel much less affected by everything, like being less insecure about it and so. And yet, since the severe post-LSD incident I'm now really struggling with existential fear about my chances of ever recovering from my emotional symptoms and overall health condition. Also: It seems like my health limitations (fatigue, ability to exert myself) stop me from living a really fulfilling life and thus it's still harder to affect my emotions positively and overcome certain inner limitations. It seems like a difficult cycle. I don't really ruminate myself into these states, it's rather like I wake up and feel negativity in the body. Or I just become aware during the day that there is this depressive feeling in my upper back and neck area. And then I know what it's related to and if I'm not careful I could exacerbate it with negative thoughts, but I manage to avoid that a lot of the time. Basically the new inner reality I feel limited by goes something like this: "It's too hard to overcome your trauma and emotional problems" "Therfore you can't cure your nervous system and thus your health condition" "So you won't have a fulfilling life again and will get old poor" I know these are "just thoughts" but due to the dark emotional states these thoughts carry a strong emotional charge and can feel very real and definitive. Especially after waking up there is a tendency for these states and thoughts to arise. Maybe some of you have experienced similar things and know different strategies to deal with these depressive feelings. What do you think I should do exactly when the feeling is present and I have some time to work with it? Yeah, I think that's it. Please be positive, I'd be struggling to deal with negative input these days. Any uplifting advice would be appreciated. Thanks!
  2. @Salvijus Ok, very interesting. Thank you so much!
  3. Which practices do you have in mind? Is it Kriya Yoga, Kundalini Yoga or other Yoga or things like Tai Chi? Yeah, this is my current approach. It takes some practice too, but obviously it's much better than trying to run away from the emotion. That sounds super interesting. Who teaches something like this?
  4. @Lila9 @flowboy @Javfly33 thanks for your insights!
  5. @Javfly33 I read in the course description (right before you order) that the seven 90 minutes lessons are not replayable "to create an experience as close to an in person workshop as possible", so you only have the option to go back in 10 seconds steps, lol. Is this how it works? You'd have life long access to meditations, exercises and Q&A videos though, it says.
  6. Interesting! Thanks for sharing this info!
  7. @Javfly33 which pills did you pop?
  8. Sure you explained yourself. Interesting. Thanks!
  9. @Javfly33 which other Yoga resources did you use to complement your practice?
  10. @Javfly33 awesome! Thanks for responding!
  11. It's nice that we can use all kinds of techniques like shadow work, trauma releases and so on to work on our emotional responses, but I'd like to know how to handle it better in the moment when I get triggered out there in the real world, especially in social situations (like when you keep talking to someone). I have a bunch of anxieties that can get triggered in social situations and it seems not possible to avoid this entirely by controlling my thoughts or whatever. So what do you do once the emotion comes up in the body and changes physiology? Is the only thing I can really do to stay mindful of the emotion and not get pulled into its story?
  12. Hi all, I've heard good things about this course but wanted to ask you (whoever has taken this course) a few questions. Can this course help to produce "spiritual experiences" like higher states of consciousness, states of bliss or love, realising your true nature and things like this? And are the exercises derived from Yoga? (And which type?) I actually wanted to get into (Kriya) yoga but I don't know, I'm having a difficult time at the moment and feel kind of overwhelmed by all the exercises of the kriya Yoga book from Leo's book list. So I wanted to start with something a little bit simpler, where exercises and theory are provided in various small bits. What I'm really looking for are exercises (and some supporting theory) that help me work with and improve my energy. Like making the energy stored in my body move back into the brain and thus entering altered states of consciousness. I've done a lot of meditation over the last years, but especially at the moment, I'm having a hard time not getting totally distracted by my racing mind and meditation still hasn't done too much for me in terms of changing my energy. @Javfly33 I think you recently talked about this course somewhere here, so would be cool if you could say a few words.
  13. @Leo Gura What would be your suggestion?
  14. @flyingwhalee good to know. Thanks!
  15. Hi all, I'm not gonna name the books because they are from his book list, but let's just say there's a thick one and a thin one and I ordered both of them and they arrived today. And I have to say the thick one seems kind of intimidating, it's so damn extensive, it literally has over 30 lessons (different techniques/methods). So my question is whether you really just work through all of the lessons one after another, practicing every single technique until you've mastered it. Has anyone here done this? What do you recommend? Thanks!