Sage_Elias

Radical Honesty - Share all your Secrets !

151 posts in this topic

5 hours ago, Natasha said:

Then you might like this ;)

Very funny, thank you haha

4 hours ago, pluto said:

I am completely naked when i post.

Careful now ;)

I'm trying not to picture that! haha

I feel naked! ;)


I have an opinion on everything :D

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Posted (edited)

I have a lifelong video game addiction that I've never completely recovered from.

I also prefer talking only to girls who are pretty even if they are dumb as a shoe. 

Edited by Michael569

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Posted (edited)

1 hour ago, Michael569 said:

I have a lifelong video game addiction that I've never completely recovered from.

I also prefer talking only to girls who are pretty even if they are dumb as a shoe. 

Oh really... I thought that about you actually :D Deduced it from some of the things you've written here.

As for me... I feel like it's really fucked up, but I don't know if it is caused by the hormonal changes happening in my body, or whether it is actually the real condition :/ 

Edited by bejapuskas

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I spend more time reading about spiritual practises than actually doing them.

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12 hours ago, Sage_Elias said:

When you Reveal the truth about who you are...your mind no longer needs to constantly have a cover up story.

Hiding or withholding information causes our minds to constantly try to find the perfect arrangement of words (or story) which makes us seem better than we actually are.

Admit it...you are fucked up! And so am I

the image that we have of ourselves of being this "decent, polite" person represents a very limited aspect of who we are, because our experience constantly contradicts with this self image...we get angry at our neighbor, we are attracted to the 16yr old girl and we like to smoke pot.

So there you have it, a self image which says one thing and while direct experience says something totally different.

When reality contradicts self image, the mind struggles to make sense of this.

Telling the truth of who you are frees you from the mind's constant chatter of trying to cover up the truth.

So what are your secrets? What are you hiding? I'm afraid to post mine...but hopefully you guys will inspire me to do so by starting first!

 

This is such an excellent thread. And it's so odd that it's posted by you at this moment because I've been thinking so much about this particular matter in the last days. :)

Here is a few ones:

- I like both guys and girls, but I prefer guys.

- I'm secretly disgusted by people who are leaving a zombie life, not questioning a single thing. They are like cockroaches to me. I'd rather shoot myself than live a life like this.

- I'm an INTP girl who's making a good job at pretending I'm not just a warm and fuzzy girly girly girl within. 

- I love dancing and singing to vintage 90's and 00's pop songs. But I'm going to deny firmly that I have such poor music taste and I do enjoy genuinely mainstream garbage from time to time.

Enough for today


 What the future holds for you depends on your state of consciousness now.  Eckhart Tolle

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I'd make a list but this is my real name and photo and if various people I know found it, it could adversely affect my life (oh look, survival).

So for the time being I'll just say:

I'm curious about counsellor training but am not sure I'm empathetic enough but might pursue it anyway.

I also have some "bad" habits.

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2 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

Oh really... I thought that about you actually :D Deduced it from some of the things you've written here.

As for me... I feel like it's really fucked up, but I don't know if it is caused by the hormonal changes happening in my body, or whether it is actually the real condition :/ 

what can I say I am a terrible human being :ph34r:

2 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

As for me... I feel like it's really fucked up, but I don't know if it is caused by the hormonal changes happening in my body, or whether it is actually the real condition :/ 

which one do you mean? 

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Growing up like when i was 17-19 i used to sneek in and see my cousin bathing. 

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@Michael569  I didn't mean to insult you Michael 🙏 I don't know if I understand your question though

@Harikrishnan  When we had swimming classes at school in 2nd grade, we used to go to this swimming pool that has a transparent door into the female's dressing room for whatever reason, so you can actually see inside from the cash desk. I didn't look there, but all my friends did, we were 7 at that time.

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1 hour ago, bejapuskas said:

I didn't mean to insult you Michael 🙏 I don't know if I understand your question though

I did not get offended at al lol don/t worry :D let's just leave the whole thing. 

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Radical honesty is not overexposure and orversharing!


“However bad life may seem, where there is life, there is hope.” ― Stephen Hawking

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@kag101  Yes but you know, some people have really deep problems and they need some sort of coming out. It hurts to let it boil inside you. Plus if you would talk about for example spiritual crisis with a regular therapist, they could hospitalize you (which has already happened to Yellowschnee) and that really sucks you know :) 

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  • I have this baseline of frustration always humming in the background and I don't know why
  • I think I'm so polite because I still people please
  • I'm still insecure and sometimes talk to myself like shit and beat myself up. 
  • I sometimes portray myself to be someone I'm not. 

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Nice topic. Should have thought about this one earlier. But I feel that many people already created an identity of themselves on this forum and they mayfeel ashamed to expose themselves, but since I haven't ( yet ) i'll  do the first step.

Warning  - Read under your own responsibility as Obsessive Compulsive thoughts and other feelings may arrise depending of your level of development, openmindedness, understanding  and self-acceptance, ( specially if you are a guy . )

 

I'm a guy ( 21 ) and I enjoy but stuff, and strongly belive that most guys do,  but are simply too ashamed to try it or even aknowledge in their own minds that they may be interested in trying it. It would make them question their sexuality and go through a lot of emotions and confusion since it goes against the " hyper-macho stereotype " a.k.a phony masculinity ( no judgement though ). See Leo's episode " How to be a man - part 2 (advanced version ) for a clear definition of real masculinity.

What I mean is prostate stimulation. The prostate is located about 4 cm inside of the anus and  it is considered the G spot of men and a huge source of pleasure as you can orgasm by massaging it without even touching the penis.

First when tried prostate masturbation I felt ashamed and confused. I thought : Does this mean that I'm into guys now?

It affected my self-esteem quite a lot, as for the following weeks to couple of months I struggled mantaining eye contact with other people, specially my brother, father and some of my teachers. Looking into their eyes made me feel guilty, as I'm hiding something, and my Irritable bowel syndrome got worse because of my thoughts and  emotions affecting my physiology.

I started questioning if I was bisexual or maybe even homosexual.

But as I looked at handsome guys around me , and even though I had some obsessive thoughts about getting penetrated by them ( thoughts that I de-attach from, since I'm just the observer of the thoughts and they are not my posession,   nor they mean anything about me, nor I'm in controll of them ), I saw that I'm not interested in having a sexual relationship with a guy, as I'm simply interested in the physical pleasure that the act of prostate massage gives, which can be satisfied by myself or a girl.

I really was openminded enough to go through the process of questioning my sexuallity.

It's a taboo for men to talk about this in our society, as I mentioned it goes against the stereotype, and also we "bully" such behaviour since, evolutionary speaking, it doesn't bring offspring, therefore it's counter-productive for the species.

Even though I logically understood all of this, I had  unknowningly  developed HoCD ( Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder , Google for more information ) not really because of the act itself, but because I read Brad Blanton's book about Radical Honesty, that suggests that you should tell your deepest secret ( that I did prostate masturbation)  to the person you least would want to know it ( in my case my dad ) and that suggestion started generating obsessive thoughts by bringing this part of my life to the front of my mind all the time.

This reminds me that  I want to thank some user of this forum, whose name I don't remember, and will call Lorenzo, for introducing me to the concept of this condition.

One time I was SUPER close to telling my dad. I had written a piece of paper where I explained all of the above in a concise and logical way to read out to him. He was at the garage, about 30 metres away from me, I was literally paralyzed by fear, but kept moving towards him. I had the piece of paper in my pocket, and it took me around half an hour to get close to him as I was making myself do tiny little babysteps in his way. When I finally came close to him he told me hes going to the grocery store and he rushed out, and I felt relieved as f*k, and never gave it another go.

These days I learned how to deal with OCD more, came to the conclusion that I'm not interested in him knowing this part of me even though it means that I'm not "100% honest " all of the time ( the question "what is honesty" is a topic for another time) as we hold facades in our social lives for the sake of easier survival ( I belive 100% honesty would make day to day life really challenging ).

 

Other things ? I have Fordyce spots, another massive source of insecurity before I learned that 50% males have these spots on their swords as well, and it's not an STD, ( Warning, google under own responsability, explicit images may appear unexpectedly.

I lost my virginity to a hooker and it's the only time I had sex, but this I told about my father easy.

I had thoughts about suicide incountable times, thoughts about sex with my brothers, mother or father couple of times, but once again I do not take them seriously as they are mean as little as any other thought, and one time I hit my mother when she was drunk after I had lost a game of Legue of legends, but this was nothing special as she is an alcoholic and agressive behavior of her towards our family members is normal.

Watch videos : " how to stop moralyzing " , "rant against morality", "how to stop juding yourself", " You aren't happy because you don't really want to be".

Oh and I made out with a chubby girl. Your turn! (:

 

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2 hours ago, dimitri said:

I am God (or Leo, or whatever) :)  

So you are the reason "my" name was taken :) Ah we're all one, Dimitri's everywhere :D 


Truth can be stated in a thousand different ways, yet each one can be True.

∞∞∞∞ Swami Vivekananda ∞∞∞∞

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27 minutes ago, Dimi said:

So you are the reason "my" name was taken :) Ah we're all one, Dimitri's everywhere :D 

Thanks for your honesty. ;)

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I'm addicted to Leo's youtube videos.

I can't tell if its a good or bad thing either...

Help 

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2 minutes ago, RawJudah said:

I'm addicted to Leo's youtube videos.

I can't tell if its a good or bad thing either...

Help 

Watch his video about addictions ;):P

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