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About SunnyNewDay

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  1. Thanks a bunch for the advice. I woke up just now having slept for about 2.5 hours and I felt I was back in a psychedelic trip with the visuals and altered consciousness. It is visually beautiful and an interesting experience but I would prefer to keep this when only taking a substance or doing a meditation retreat. It's uncomfortable integrating a daily nightly trip that briefly lasts.
  2. I had an incredibly scary trip over the summer which really affected me. I've recovered a ton and am doing much better but I'm experiencing some problems with sleep now. I've worked a lot with a transpersonal type therapist to help integrate it which has helped a ton. A lot of irrational worrying went away and a ton of clarity /wholeness/peace has returned since which I'm really grateful for. My days are mostly positive and getting more productive. About a month ago I got off some meds cause I was feeling pretty good and grounded. They sort of numbed me a bit so I wanted to see if I was strong enough without them since I was doing better. One of them helped with sleeping but left me feeling a bit like a zombie in the morning. Anyways I have some anxiety when it comes to going to bed. I will lie down and start to get sleepy but then have this sort of fear/tension in my body arise and as I get drowsier it sort of jolts me awake. Another scary thing is I get closed eye visuals. They have gotten incredibly vivid at times such as patterns, flowers art, etc and a couple times when I was feeling scared all sorts of scary faces formed in them... I didn't like that at all. Most of the time they are usually just a sense of depth and flutry lights like if you look at a light and close your eyes. My thoughts will feel "louder" as well sometimes and I'll just be jumpy from my sensory/thought experience being kinda wacky and feeling sort of "spacy." It's scary and it used to only happen occasionally at night when I'd feel tension building up but it's been happening more often recently and after a few scary experiences when going to bed I'm sort of anxious at bed time now cauae of this. I think that only adds to it. On nights I feel calm this stuff is less present and not an issue. My sleep schedule is skewed and I'm now going to sleep early in the morning and sleeping most of the day. Has anyone experienced this before? How did you treat it?
  3. Solipsism is a dangerous trap, be careful everyone.
  4. seems like there are limits to what we can personally experience from a certain point of view while incarnated as a human
  5. Please be extremely careful with Ayahuasca. I was not schizophrenic and as far as I know from my life hadn't experienced any sort of diagnosable psychotic or debilitating paranoid symptoms until after drinking. Caused me to have a mental break a month after with all sorts of delusions and stuff I'd never experienced so vividly before until drinking. I've recovered a ton since and am doing better and am much more grounded now but I feel that door is still slightly open and I'm trying my best to be mindful and heal it and get stronger so I'm not close to that edge again. There are far safer substances. To be honest, Ayahuasca I think is dangerous, and there is no way to know how one will react to the side effects after. No clinic to follow up. No person or drug to make it all better and reverse it if you're going through hell after. There are safer substances like MDMA for instance which can do much of what Ayahuasca does but without the out of body/possessive/hallucinations. Also psychedelics which can be micro dosed and the effects integrated into daily life. I've realized the whole head first huge super trip is just chasing a magic bullet. Real growth is done with safety as a priority.
  6. Any tips for cleansing a room or flat? Also how to remove anything you think is feeding on energy from the root chakra?
  7. I'm really sorry to hear... you can get through this!!
  8. This is one thing I'm still figuring out. I'd say it's not giving into what's going through your head. I can really relate to this. Even if there are a million other things you want to think through about it won't help the situation. OCD is actually a really serious disorder that I think is made light of due to pop culture. Seeing a therapist helps a lot clear up whatever thoughts you are ruminating on.
  9. I like how his best friend alien has the most alien name ever
  10. I think we can say psychedelics and therapy each have their own role and neither needs to be held up as the solution for an issue that may have multiple ways of solving. I've tried psychedelics and I've tried therapy and for me I think therapy is the better choice overall along with meditation and breathe work. The bad trips from psychedelics I experienced were brutal and then coming home with a lot of the same ways of thinking and a lack of self love made it really hard to do anything with what I experienced. In some ways it maybe was some tough love and got me back in therapy which is good but it was so brutal I wonder if there was something else I could of tried which was more gentle and able to teach me in a far less traumatic and psychotic way. I think I'll have a better understanding in the long run. I will say this... psychedelics can be very dangerous and life shattering whereas therapy will be much gentler and easier to integrate.
  11. I would be very careful with ayahuasca. I regret drinking ayahuasca and should of started with something much more loving and calming. I fooled myself into thinking it was something I could handle and make me feel better but I have been pulling myself back together for six weeks after doing 4 ceremonies. I can't really beat myself up for that though because from the research I had done at the time it felt like it was the right choice. It has triggered a massive amount of psychotic problems, ocd, mood swings and paranoia in me recently where I started to believe delusional stories about myself and all sort of crazy stuff even a month after taking it like I was back in the terror trip which happened during the final ceremony. I've also found who you do it with can have a major impact and the people there aren't necessarily equipped to help you handle what comes up. I felt really abandoned and misunderstood by some of the people at the retreat and while I think they are good people and their intentions are to help I don't think a lot of these retreats are equipped to deal with everything that comes up. Talking about it in therapy has helped clear this up and integrate what has happened and released a lot of stuff and bring back clarity to my thinking and who I feel I am. If you have any history with mental illness (especially to do with manic/obsessive overthinking) of any sort I'd be careful taking ayahuasca. I'd say it's for mentally strong people with a high degree of self love for themselves and others and with experience tripping on psychedelics. I was not this going into the ceremonies.
  12. What to do if going through a dark night or spiritual emergency?