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About kag101

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  1. From what you described, I think you're taking too rigid approach. For instance, if you have the expectation of never eating junk food ever again, you're bound to fail. You'll repress yourself so much that you'll end up, idk, binge eating 5 big macs or something. You have to be more flexible. Self-negotiate! Watch these Leo's episodes: 1) How to stop backsliding (most important) 2) Realistic expectations
  2. Hmm... Let me see if I got it right: I don't get it. You don't want to "let yourself go" and just enjoy what you're doing without thinking about being mindful? Interesting insight!
  3. go for it there is something magical about writing on a physical notebook. plus, it's good to not be in front of a screen every once in a while.
  4. Is there anything in your life that brings you joy/pleasure?
  5. Dude, stop with this black-and-white thinking. I think it could be interesting to experiment with small dosages. And see how you feel.
  6. Was it really necessary to block her? Grieving is a process. It comes in waves. You can't rush it. This song might help: It's important to know how to let yourself feel the sadness, but also to let go of it when it's time. That is, to do something fun with a friend, for example. Reconnect with your hobbies. Do stuff that takes your mind away from your ex. How are the other areas in your life? Life purpose, etc? Why were you a bad boyfriend?
  7. one of my new professors at college is really crappy. dang chess - LOWER my expectation! i've been improving at chess. i've reached a 700 rating. it's a cool achievement. i was stuck at 500 before. i was starting to get obssessed. like, "oh, what if i lose a buch of matches, and i go back to 630?" >> yea, that could happen. and it would be expected. thing is, i still make silly blunders. it's important that i correct those, before trying some more advanced moves. i'm still beyond what i thought would be the best case scenario. i'm one month ahead. so i must chill the fuck out. it will be no tragedy if i lose a bunch of matches. is it frustrating? yes, it is. but i can handle it. there's a big difference between losing but having some odds for winning, and to be completely crushed. if i manage to play attentively, and analyze my games afterwards; i will improve sooner or later. if, on the other hand, i keep stressing about my freaking "rating", this will sap all the joy out of playing this game. important: it's expected that i will reach a plateau right now. it's very unrealistic to think that i will increase my elo by 200 points every two weeks. according to my balanced expectation goal, i am beyond what i thought i would be in September. so yea, i have to be more fucking patient. btw i have to take some time to write down some goals and wishes. i keep putting this off. this is such a simple yet powerful practice. it's often overlooked.
  8. getting bald sucks it's so frustrating. and i have a pretty preponent forehead. dang. i shaved all my hair the other day. it looked okay. new classes - meh... my new classes at college have begun, finally. one of the teacher is fine. she has some excessive positivy tbh, but she's nice. the other one is terrible. she's like a 65-year-old lady who doesn't know anything about technology. and she doesn't teach; she only reads the powerpoint. and after every single sentence she says "ok?" good thing that it's online. so i get do other stuff. nothing new + students who overparticipate these classes seem to be very basic and common knowledge. pretty boring stuff tbh. and the other students freakin love to participate. it's pretty cringey. i usually turn off my speaker when some of them start speaking. less motivated i'll see how it goes. this new classes have made me feel less motivated for sure. the first one that i had was really cool. but those ones are... crappy. there's yet one other professor that i will meet tomorrow. i hope she's good. progress so crazy to think about how much i've progressed over the past 2 years. it's mindblowing. i used to have a good day every week or two. the other days were bad. and nowadays my days on average usually are 5% awesome 85% good 10% meh in fact, i've made a tablesheet on which i record how my days have been. i might upload that here. i credit this awesome progress due to psychotherapy and psychiatry treatment. >> a good psychoanalytical session is so powerful. to me, that's the #1 practice for self-actualizing. <<
  9. If I hadn't read this book, I would probably still feel depressed on a regular basis. It's beautifully written, and it gives a very accurate description of how it's like to be depressed or maniac. She's a Psychiatry Professor at John Hopkins, and she suffers from bipolar. It took her 10 fucking years to accept that she needed medication. Main points: • Even a specialist in this area still struggles to accept psychiatric treatment. • I used to think that all medication was garbage. But actually there are cases of success. She's a living example. • She shares her experience with the world by writing this book, which has been a turning point for many people.
  10. Very nice initiative! I'm looking forward to hearing this podcast you've done with Charlie.
  11. new classes college - excited i just finished a class at my college. they divided the semester into two bimesters. the first one is over. and i did pretty well. 8,8/10. tomorrow i'll start the new classes. the challenge will be that it's going to be Monday through Friday, as opposed to only Tuesday and Thursday. I'll see how it goes. i really hope i enjoy them. it's good to ocupy my mind with something i enjoy, and which is connected to my life purpose >> this helps to stop giving a fuck about unimportant shit. chess i have been doing pretty well at chess. i'm surprised. i found a great video of a guy who gives some guidelines for beginners. in a matter of 4 days or so, i was able to increase my ELO by +150. i got super excited when i saw that i was winning one match after the other. lol. i'm where i thought i would be in june, so that's really cool. i kinda hit a plateau, but it's normal. the important thing is to not enter "neurotic mode". that is, "OH... I HAVE TO GET BETTER. I HAVE TO BE DISCIPLINED." etc. >>>>> No. It's just a hobby. quitters one tip that guy gives is to never resign a game. sometimes i blunder and it's really frustrating. but it's important to have the resilience to not run away. after all, sometimes my opponent ends up blundering as well. it's funny to see some folks who resign, simply because they blundered a Rook or something. i didn't expect this speaking of chess, one person that really surprised me negatively is a famous Grand Master called Nakamura. i thought he was cool, but actually it seems as though he is fake and hypocritical. the worse type of asshole is the one who disguises himself as a nice guy. i gotta do this magical trick i want to write some goals. i often forget about how freaking powerful writing down goals and putting a date is. seriously, it can be almost magical. from my experience, you can do it once and forget about it. then, some months later, you read them again. and a lot of times the things i wrote happen. coming up with a solution to my neck pain i was waking up with an annoying neck pain almost everyday. that was pretty frustrating. but it seems that i have figured out how to reduce it. thing is: i always sleep on my side and i put a pillow in between my legs. i noticed that i wasn't turning to the other side during the night, and it was because it's counterintutive to do so if you have a pillow in-between your legs. so here's what i've been doing: before sleeping, i turn to the other side with the pillow. i do that 3x. and i have noticed that as i am sleeping, i am now turning. why is this important? one of the most basic rules in ergonomy is that being in the same position for too long is a big no-no. i hope that eventually i won't have to do the turning 3x. but i'll keep doing it. and i also program myself to take some sips of water. this is helpful, because oftentimes my throat gets dry. other random stuff • sometimes i don't like to be part of the animal kingdom. i think it's all very stupid. • my inner gremlin often judges my relaxed self very harshly. it's as if i needed to be in pain. that if i let myself go, i will do stupid shit. • i was taking a medication that has been really helping me in an area of my life. problem is, i've been getting some headaches. i don't know if the cause is the pill per se. i hope not... i will do some tests to figure this out.
  12. I don't know. In my country, there's a site where you can search for doctors, and the patients leave their ratings. I found my psychiatrist there. The antidepressant I'm currently taking is not an SSRI, so it is not known for causing sexual problems. It is an SDRI, which stands for selective dopamine reuptaker inhibitor. It is the only medication that really helped my depression. This might might interest you: I remember reading on the leaflet that it is used to treat the syndrome you're going through. I have just done some quick research, and it seems that it helps almost 75% of men. Check this out: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11894796/ Anyway, I do not recommend you keep doing research on your own. The action that has the greater odds for you to recover is fo find a way to have treatment with great psychiatrist. I agree that they're hard to find, but they do exist.
  13. very good video! thanks for sharing
  14. Wow, that must be really tough. I'm sorry to hear that. Here are some questions: 1) How's your depression ATM? Did you have any episode over the past years? 2) Have you gone to a really good psychiatrist, and talked about your situation? What a fuking asshole!