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Yes but "how" are they living their lives ? If you haven't noticed yet ..most people live a shitty medicore life .no passion.no dreams. No creativity. No goals. Just surving like an animal. all they care about is food and sex. What if I told you there is another way to live life .a life of such peace and bliss that passeth understanding .and this can only happen via a spiritual awakening to yourself as God.

Session 14: 30 minutes Felt rough. Was not motivated to start. Watched the clock every other minute. I was impatient for the "end bliss", which did not come. Now I feel dizzy, somewhat relaxed and conscious, but not loving or hopeful what so ever. Life sucks right now. I'm conscious of this "life sucks" feeling, and hope if I endure it "well-behaved" I get rewarded with peace and love. Nothing like this seems to happen. God can not be "ordered" by the ego. I feel depressed and lonely. This has surely something to do with the current ego backlash I'm struggling with after a long time of spiritual bliss and understanding. Even holotropic breathwork cannot pierce through the vail of ego backlash. Good luck to me.

Yeah I hear ya... I can relate a lot to what you say. I love both connecting with the singularity that feels whole and complete and also connection in the relative. The flavor might seem different.. one is to deeply understand and connect by going into "myself" through the inward direction, the other an"outward" direction, about mutual ground, mutual love and bliss through the connection. And then collapse the duality and realize it's all the same, the desire to connect with yourself is the same as the desire to connect with "others" (which not limited to "humans" but all spirit). ? You don't have to choose one over the other if that's not what your heart desires.

The separation is part of perception. Infinity and finite is the relationship that establish what we come to know as value. Value creates meaning. And meaning creates movement. To give you a example. Imagine playing a teambased online game. If you learn the rules of the game and gain experience and learn things along the way, you become a more valuable player, not only yourself but for your whole team. You are restricted to play whitin certain rules in this game, but you have the ability to utilize and explore anything that isn't ruled out. The rules of the game are consciously and carefully implimented inorder to create value. Despite the endless possibilities to create any kind of online game. Someone could create a teambased online game, where everyone who participate can push one button and win instantly. But who would even play such a game with no limitations in the firstplace, why even bother if all that was needed is to push one button to win? So inorder to be concious of value within infinity, there needs to be certain imposed limitations of finite form, to be able to experience any bliss at all. What would unity even mean without seperation? The Human form is a finite image of the infinity of forms that God can maintain at the same time. Just as the devices we use to communicate through here, may be vastly different builds. But electricity is the main source that unites all computers under the lable computer. Without electricity, there is no computer, no matter how perfectly built it is. It would never have been recognized as a computer without electricity.

Last night at 7:20pm I insufflated 5mg of 5-MeO-MALT. All of the electricity in my home was turned off, and the living room was bathed in the hushed tones and glow of dusk. Intended as a small handshake dose, I am thankful to say that this was a beautiful experience. Here are my raw notes: [7:20 PM] 5 mg 5-MeO-MALT intranasal [7:29 PM] I can feel the weight and warmth of tryptamine, along with the slight bitterness of the chemical in my sinus. The room is very still and peaceful in the evening light [7:37 PM] Gentle but distinct tryptamine energy. Slight shivering, pupils dilated, feeling deeply at peace I've moved from the couch to futons on the floor [7:39 PM] Just beautiful [7:41 PM] God is napping on the shore of its own infinite mind Infinite creation Pure infinite love, forever [7:43 PM] Zero visuals Just shivering bliss [7:46 PM] Dozing and gazing Stretching [7:49 PM] Some downloads about polarity Seeking/entering [7:50 PM] Love is just welcoming the moment [7:54 PM] Creation asks that you trust it enough to trust yourself To go all in [8:04 PM] Got up to pee with no trouble getting about Light very pleasant body load [8:05 PM] I spent some time mirror gazing, which is the only place where visuals manifest. [8:09 PM] If I trusted my hand enough to weigh out the truly miniscule dose I would consider pushing it But this is a beautiful, beautiful first meeting It's so clean and pure Dare I say innocent "Nothing else to do." Vibes [8:12 PM] I've just been laying on the floor listening to the sounds of creation all around me and inside me There's never been a hair out of place I am so grateful to have been introduced to this substance. The body load was light and very pleasurable, and there were almost no visuals. The peak effects lasted for under an hour, and by 2 hours there was only a mild afterglow. This was a deeply rewarding and encouraging first encounter. I already look forward to the next, where I'll go up to 8 mg.

They're kind of world's apart, in a way. 1st Jhana: attention gets so steady and mindfulness is so bright that the mind's opposing tasks are stilled, and so energetic bliss pervades, and the attention then gets absorbed in the bliss and breakneck exhilarating pleasure takes off with extreme intensity (1st Jhana begins) 2nd: mind moves away from the exhilaration and the underlying happiness is prominent, which can actually make the exhilaration even more intense, but with the higher level of samadhi relative to 1st Jhana, the focus is the happiness and not the exhilaration 3: the exhilaration/rapture is completely let go of and all that's left is happiness divested of rapture -- an extremely serene condition 4: the extremely fulfilling pleasant happiness is let go of, for the even more subtle and serene pure equanimity (which persists in the later jhanas) 5: materiality is let go of for the more subtle boundless space 6: space is let go of for the more subtle boundless consciousness 7: vast boundless consciousness is let go of for the more subtle perception of no-thing-ness 8: subtle perception of no-thing-ness is let go of for the most subtle -- the imaginary boundary between something and nothing; neither perception nor non-perception Nirvana: cessation; the end of time In the vast majority of cases, this is simply beyond the scope of psychedelics.

I wanted to write a bit on this rather esoteric concept. This is NFSW, so beware. I want to avoid some of the gross exaggerations and fantastic claims of the scriptures, as well as the various hang-ups and taboos that will generally stop people and religious orders in particular to explore this topic. Briefly, Urdhvareta is spiritual and physical process, by which sexual energies and in the case of men, semen is sublimated and made to flow upwards along the spine, so instead of its usual descent, it goes into ascent. For this to happen, Kundalini must pierce the various chakras and knots, until it pierces the Brahmarendra and reaches the crown. Through various techniques and exercises, the lower abdominal muscles are sufficiently strengthened, so that one can experience a full body orgasm without ejaculation. The process is slightly different for women, in that they have the advantage of having the ability to experience such orgasms anyway, whilst normally there is no release of bodily fluids, though of course some women are capable of the latter as well. I have yet to meet a woman that will talk about this without inhibition, but from what I can gather, women on the tantric path are encouraged to have frequent orgasms in order to aid the process of Urdhvareta. When Kundalini rises to the top and breaks through to the crown with sufficient force, the cosmic egg, or Hiranyagarbha is cracked and Soma or Amrita, a divine nectar is released and floods the brain and eventually the whole body. With Urdhvareta, the objective is to create a constant flow of semen / sexual energy from the lower abdominal area into the brain. This process of constant sublimation leads to the creation of the Divine Body or Sarupya Mukti. It is believed that a person with such a body becomes effectively immortal and will display the powers of a god. I would caution against taking such claims seriously, I believe much exaggeration and projection is involved. What seems to happen instead, is that a so-called light body is activated with the release of Amrita and that the process of Urdhvareta builds up this light body, slowly, over an entire lifetime. As the divine essence (ojas) is pumped up the spinal column and streams up mixed into the spinal fluid, it reaches the top of the head, where it will fall back as soma / amrita enabling the gradual building up of the light body or divine body. This will only fully activate and come into its own upon death. Tibetan Buddhism talks about a similar process in Dzogchen, where a rainbow body is built up through various practices and austerities. The Left-Hand Path (Vama Marya) believes in using sex as a tool to sublimate sexual energy and semen and turn it into amrita. The Right-Hand path, which is the only one really accepted by the mainstream today, believes in achieving the same effect through strict celibacy, both in body and mind. Even sexual thoughts are forbidden. I won’t take sides in this eternal debate, except to point out that the Left-Hand path has been heavily suppressed in the past few centuries and is now near extinct, so they’re hardly in a position to defend their own views and argue for them on an equal footing. The Right-Hand path on the other hand seems to hold rather bigoted and rigid views, especially on sexuality, the sex organs and the role of women. To me, it seems they are unbalanced to the point of misogyny and denying the importance of sexuality in spirituality. Not many know that up to the middle ages (in fact, in many ways, up to the Sepoy Mutiny of 1857), Indian views on the role of spirituality and sexuality where very different to today, but I guess the Victorians took care of that for generations to come. To give a few examples, Indian women in the South did not cover their torsoes before colonisation, which was also the case in Bali and Pacific Islands, like Tahiti. It was the Victorians that forced them to cover up. In North India, that happened earlier due to the influence of Islam. Another example would be the prevalence of Temple Prostitution and even tantric orgies. This, I believe now only happens in a handful of Indian temples today. Further examples are the existence of medieval sex manuals like the Ananga Ranga or Kama Sutra, which display a sophisticated understanding of sexual pleasure, still unmatched, but especially striking compared to the complete taboo status sex enjoyed in Victorian society and the ignorance with which such topics as the female orgasm were treated. In medieval and ancient India, it was common practice for couples to engage in tantric intercourse, which was very different from the kind of dynamic, hectic sex practiced today and was mostly about sinking into stillness and Samadhi in a meditative state. Very few people remember how to do this today, with perhaps Tibetan Buddhism being the last holdout of this ancient practice, but even there it is often hushed up and kept largely secret. There are many beliefs around the topic of Urdhvareta, which are difficult or next to impossible to verify. Swami Muktananda believed that his ability to give Shaktipat was contingent upon his Urdhvareta status. Other Swamis believe that Urdhvareta is necessary to gain Brahmavidya or knowledge of the Supreme Truth and experience Nirvikalpa Samadhi, which is a topic I wrote about in a previous post. Yet more others believe, that Urdhvareta is a necessary component not only of building a Divne Body (Sarupya Mukti), but also to gain divine power (Sarstya Mukti). I cannot say how much of this is actually true, but perhaps some of it is rooted in reality. I often get the feeling that when Yogis experience something fantastical in a Samadhi state, they tend to describe it as if the event took place in physical reality, when most likely it was an astral experience, that they experienced in their astral body, perhaps even unaware of the distinction in an exalted state. I have some experience with this, ranging from astral projection, lucid dreaming, OBEs, NDEs and various Samadhi and non-dual states, so I can understand why it must sometime be difficult to distinguish between events that took place in an astral state (such as levitation or flying) from what actually took place in physical reality. Instead, I will now concentrate on the process of Urdhvareta and describe it as best I can, as it takes place within my own body. I find that such first-person descriptions are the most useful. Whilst Urdhvareta is a subtle, background process, focussing awareness on it can strengthen the flow and in meditation it becomes an integral part of the Kundalini Mechanism. The starting point for the energy is always in the testicles, with the equivalent for women being the ovaries. When becoming conscious of it, the bottom of the testicles start to tingle. This is accompanied by a pumping motion, which is indistinguishable from that experienced during an ejaculatory orgasm. Heat, or what feels like a hot liquid substance is pumped through the base of the penis, with the energy coming from both sides, left and right and meeting there. This activity is independent of Kundalini. Whether there is sexual arousal, is dependent upon the position of the head of the Kundalini serpent. If it’s lodged in the first or second chakras, sexual arousal will be experienced. Once Kundalini moves past those lower centres, arousal dissipates and disappears completely at the higher centres. In an ideal case, the head of the serpent is lodged in the crown. Then, the starting point of the energy is in the testicles end the endpoint is at the Brahmarendra Bindu, at the top back part of the head. Ojas ascends along the spine into this Bindu, there it will turn around and fall back as Amrita or Soma (Nectar or Ambrosia to the Greeks). This is a hot, liquid substance made of light. Science now recognises this as the fifth state of matter, though it is not normally detectable to ordinary senses or even scientific instruments. As Ojas is pumped up the spine, the strongest sensations arise at the bottom of the testicles, where the main energy flow enters the body, the toes, where supplementary energy is sucked up from the ground, through the earth element and the back of the head, where Ojas is turned into Ojas Shakti in the brain, which then exits the head at the bindu of brahmarendra, there it is turned into Amrita in the space above the head and it falls back as a Nectar of Divine Grace, in a motion resembling a fountain or a waterfall. During this process, the feelings experienced all over the body are exquisitely pleasant, comparable to sexual pleasure, but of a much higher order. The sensation at the top of the head is the most pleasant, almost indescribably sweet, though as Amrita spreads all over the body this ecstatic Joy and Bliss is experienced everywhere. With Amrita, divine Wisdom also enters the body and once receives downloads of information, flashes of realisation about the true nature of things and one’s own individual life situation. In this state, one is already in a lesser Samadhi state, though still inside the body, just opened up towards heavenly realms through the mouth of heaven atop the Brahmarendra. One might receive visions and communications from higher beings, such as Devas, guides, gurus or one’s own higher Self. With the mouth of heaven open and amrita flooding the body, one becomes naturally attractive to higher beings, who may wish to impart wisdom, blessings or just interact in some way. In such a state one may feel the touch of a Deva (god) which is exquisitely sweet. Blessings or boons can also be passed on, though these have to be offered by the Deva in question. At this level, no words or language exist, even thoughts cease in the ordinary sense, since one is no longer of mind. Communication is by direct knowing, touch and the transfer of energy, which can transmit great pockets of information, concepts, visions, images, ideas, without the use of language. Ordinary thoughts cease in this state, instead of a stream of consciousness or linear thinking, knowing occurs in flashes of realisation. Ideas burst into one’s consciousness in an orgy of light and each download of information is accompanied by a highly orgasmic, joyful and blissful flash. Although one’s ego (ahamkara) is still present it is no longer the doer or the thinker, the reigns are handed over to the higher Self (Atman), as it were. The ego flails around helplessly, not really understanding what is happening to it and is swept away by the intensity of the experience and wave upon wave of orgasmic light energy. Similarly to an experience of Nirvikalpa Samadhi, which usually only occurs once in a lifetime, the human mind is not capable of processing and returning with all the information that it realises in this lower Samadhi State. Some of it will be brought back, but it will always be an incomplete or lesser part of the whole picture. Therefore when in this Samadhi state, bringing back ideas is like fishing in an ocean of light, one can only bring back a few of the endless multitude of ideas and concepts available to the Self in an unending sea of consciousness. A person is usually called an Urdhvareta, if they manage to internalise this process and create a permanent flow, accompanied by an unceasing Samadhi, though for any ordinary person with a job, family, etc… this would be highly impractical, so usually only great sages and gurus choose to dwell in it. Nevertheless, once Urdhvareta has been established, a lesser flow, which works gently in the background can usually be maintained and this will build up a light body or divine body, slowly, over a lifetime.

@Optimized Life Nice that you had that experience. Now you know that it’s all about your energy, and how you are feeling inside, that determines wether women are attracted to you or not. So that’s really nice. Yes, you can have that ‘magnetic field’ or ‘aura’ at all times. It is not easy work and indeed not one thing you do. I regularly do the following just because I like to play around with energy and feeling, and seeing how it reflects back in the world. You may find this useful to experiment with. First, I walk around with a closed heart. I pull up my energy into my head (which automatically happens when you are nervous and anxious), and then I make eye contact with everyone that passes. I say ‘Hi’ from that place as well. And what I notice is that they look away, they shrink, they are shocked by my presence. Then, second, I get into my body, I relax, I open my heart, I ground myself, I embody the feeling centers in the back of the body to create containment and security, and after I connected to the back of my body (my containment), I open the front of my body (feeling), primarily at the heart. This allows me to be touched by other people emotionally, I let them in and I connect to them from a heart-centered space. I consciously bring up joy and love in the heart as well and let them feel that. Now almost everyone connects to my eyes. They start smiling, lighting up and even approaching me. Even people across the street start looking. Because I’m radiating love super powerfully in the environment and people get pulled into that. Then third, I drop into the lower body and stomach. I feel 20% love in the heart, but I’m mostly bringing up energy in the pelvis and the inside of the upper legs (thighs) and the stomach. And now I’m walking from the connection to the lower body. I bring up a lot of intensity there and it charges me up. It gives me a super powerful penetrative presence. It is not sexual per se. It is more turn on / creating / penetrative energy. But it can be expressed sexually. And now when I come across women and men, they can’t almost not look. They just feel that energy. And I express it unapologetically through my gaze. I project that intensity into them. But I stay in my own body, connected to my grounding. And I am slightly doing it from heart-centeredness as well. It is balanced, grounded but very penetrative. I’d say, the most important thing here is that you become fully free and one with your external environment. Instead of operating from self-contracted consciousness, your consciousness should be expanded into more non-dual consciousness. Meaning that you literally feel one with everyone. There is no fear, shame and limiting sensations that contract you and hinder your full expression. You need to get to a point where you can exchange energy and feeling with other people without a sense of separation preventing you to be fully expansive. Your body needs to become super light, yet very grounded. You need to become super present in your own body for this. The mind needs to be stilled. You can best experiment with Kriya yoga, or other types of yoga that work with your energy-body. I also recommend concentration meditation, as well as do nothing meditation, as well as osho dynamic meditation. Daily. Eventually, your mind and body will become anchored into the now. Your increased presence will become the gateway to increased feeling and feeling-connection to other people. https://open.spotify.com/track/7A5hC3tPAwJM6S0ztlCzLw?si=5e1703dc28984f3a Do some walks in your city with music like this. Surrender into the body and become one with the music. Let it really touch you. Look at everything around you, the people, the scenery and let the music guide you to feel more of the essence of it all. I also recommend a simple practice where you can experiment with some of these principles. Daily, put aside 2 hours where you will go outside into a semi busy street to say ‘Hi!’ to everyone that passes. Put 70% of focus on your own body, and let your consciousness flow from those internal centers. Express from them. Express from the heart, the stomach, the pelvis. You will get different reactions depending from where you express. If you have a lot of apathy, anxiety, nervousness, fear, shame, and all of that, then you will probably express from the head. And people will pull away. They will reject you. If you are pushing on people from lust, anger and pride, then the world will push back on you. For example, back when I had this super strong lust to get to freedom, I went outside to give people high-fives. I was pushing on people from lust/anger. I HAD to become fucking free, And I fucking HAD to give everyone high-fives. And then one guy who had a lot of anger himself wanted to fight me because he thought I was provoking him. It was our anger that connected. Now in this exercise, you can learn to ground all of that rejection and become non-attached to how people perceive you. And there is a lot of liberation in that. You simply stop caring and become one. And then when you shift to non-attachment when doing the ‘Hi!’ Exercise, you will feel that shift in your body. Your feeling centers turn on and you start to express from there. And then people start to say hi back. They smile, light up and they want to talk to you. If you can do this exercise daily for a month, you’ll grow leaps and bounds. You’ll become non-attached not only when saying hi, but in every other way that involves expressing your emotions in front of other people and to other people. You become grounded in your self-love and self-validation. This enables you to transmit feeling out of authentic inspiration. You don’t look for permission and validation to be who you are. And the more you become grounded in this non attachment, the more people will become pulled into you. It will change everything. It really heals your energy body because you don’t need the permission of the outside world for your consciousness to express fully. Your become fully expansive with your energy. Your aura/magnetic field/bubble includes the whole universe. There is no bubble anymore. You just surrender those boundaries you had. You flow without boundaries and man, that’s where you will truly feel alive and connected with people. And women will show up naturally when you have this freedom. You don’t need to push and force anything anymore. You can even practice this ‘Hi’ exercise with women, but instead of saying ‘Hi’, you just approach them, ask them directions and you do it from feeling. You ask it from connection through the heart, pelvis, grounding, stomach and you will notice that their response will reflect your level of embodiment. When I ask a woman for directions when I feel embodied within my own grounding and turn-on, as well as when I have a completely open heart. They will often lean into me and get curious right from the start, and give these sexual gazes. And then finally you can do direct approaching with the hottest women and practice becoming non-attached. You just do it so many times, and you make it all about how you feel in front of her, releasing any attachments. Just becoming more and more grounded, more and more feeling. And naturally as you do that enough, you have absolute freedom with them and they show up naturally in your life. Through getting out from self-contracted consciousness and expanding into non-dual consciousness, your sense of peace, joy, openness, confidence and all of that comes from within. Nothing externally will then influence that. You generate all of it from your own body. You can get to the point with this work that when you get rejected, you feel more confident, more alive, more joy, more love. You simply ground it. Rejection is just the self-contracted consciousness needing external permission to feel whole/one. And when it doesn’t get it, it will become more contracted. When you get beyond that, your relation to ‘rejection’ completely shifts. Imagine if you could walk down the street and could just bring up bliss and ecstasy in your body just through your intention. Imagine if you would be able to walk being turned on and open naturally. Not needing anything to feel that way. Just being that naturally. You would enjoy rejection just as much as validation. You would sit inside the club, be present in your body, feel the music and even if you wouldn’t talk to anyone that night, you would still feel amazing. And when you can feel that way all by yourself, women will come up to you all the time. Or if you would be sitting on a bench at the beach, and you just feel joy and love in your heart, as well as feeling this grounded peace. You look at the people that pass by, you nod, smile, maybe say hi, and your inviting presence will cause these reactions in those people where they will often just talk to you because your energy makes them curious. There is just no rejection when you are this peaceful and joyful by yourself. You just need to bring that same level of feeling and non-attachment to approaching, meeting and connecting with women. And that is a process. You surrender all those negative feelings and stories, and eventually you become free from all of it. Now your ‘energetic field’ or ‘aura’ is just the consequence of your own effortless feeling and expression of that feeling. You don’t need any external thing to turn that feeling on within yourself. You simply are feeling and energy.

Had a conversation with someone from the forum today, it has the potential to be very impactful. He recommended I meditate on the tension in the third eye and the more I meditate on that space, that will lead to a disollution of the tension and bliss. I've been doing it all day since and I do feel some effects. My head is very stimulated in the third eye region, And I can feel the tensions very strongly in my head. But I have hit a bit of road block where the tension isn't dissolving anymore. But at the very least this is progress. I can surrender to the third eye and just be persistent. It's only been one day, so let's see after a few days of doing this how I feel.

I don't see suffering as an issue, it's just you need to be conscious and aware of how it is manifesting. If you really observe yourself throughout the day you should notice how much of your suffering is self induced by thought. Because our ego's have been trained to perceive life a certain way it seems impossible just accept getting cheated on, or getting fired, or suffering from a major medical ailment and still live in bliss. But it is possible.

I'm real sorry buddy. (Do tell if I'm projecting here) But if you hate this place so much, you hate Leo so much, that all you do is complain and act in this smirky-passive-aggressive way, in all your comments. Why spend your time here so much? Why even bother? If your standards are so high, why not be the light in the world that you want to see? And stop pestering others to do it for you? I'm not bashing or cornering you, I'm doing this for your own good. Look at yourself and set your patterns free, and live life the way you want to live. If you are addicted to this forum, well then that is another thing. But realize that Reality is just a mirror and that you see what you really are and give out. Flip that way of looking at everything, and you will quickly realize how fast things change for the better. (Of course this applies to us all, especially me ) @Someone here I would advise you to find your own compass and let go of relying on Leo so much. Find your own bliss and follow that. Be unique in your own way and let that blossom in your own reality.

have you considered the possibility that the only thing that would happen is that you'd cease to exist? that you'd be the same that you were before you were born? no fancy spiritual experience of either God embracing you in his Infinite Bliss, nor getting stuck in a spiral of hell. just complete and utter nothingness.

Good morning everyone, Please let me know if there’s a better thread to put this in. So I had my first mushroom trip last Sunday. It was about 2g of golden teacher. I ate it, snorted some rapé, set my intention, and started meditating. No music, no tv, just a candle, a blanket, a blindfold, and complete silence save for some birds chirping. It was honestly amazing, no nausea, no headaches, just bliss. It was strange though because I told a few people and they asked if it was fun and oddly enough, the answer was no. I tried to explain that it was for spiritual insight so while it was a glorious experience it wasn’t necessarily “fun”. I’m actually happy about that because I realize the mushroom’s function in spiritual development. It’s not like weed to where you may be tempted to do it more. I still have another 2g and don’t feel any rush/pull to take them anytime soon. It’s kinda weird because after that experience I truly see why they’re considered sacred and it’s just funny how people use them for leisure, missing out on all of the insight they bring, both consciously realized and not. It’s also weird because I thought I’ve never “properly” tripped before, but I realized I have tripped after doing the Shamanic Breathing exercise where you pretty much hyperventilate into a trip effect. I’ve done this a few times before and have enjoyed it. I guess my question is, is there a way to make shamanic breathing “stronger”? I realized the main difference was the engagement with “voice” or with your Self wasn’t as strong with the shamanic breathing. I understand mushrooms are a shortcut, but when I do the breathing, I’ll feel the effects of a trip, but not really an engagement with Self. The longest I’ve done is an hour and I usually try to do 45 minutes. After I stand up, I’ll usually ‘trip” for like 10 minutes. I get a few insights both while breathing and the slight trip afterwards, but whereas the trip felt like a full conversation with an entity that’s engaging back with you, the breathing is more like looking at flash cards. I know I can try to do it longer and on a more frequent schedule, but could I ever develop it to be as strong as a mushroom trip? I understand that it may not since a mushroom is a true psychedelic, but I’m just curious as to if anyone has had a mushroom-like trip from just breathing. Sorry for the long post, but this has been in the back of my mind for a few days. Thanks!

Samadhi is quite difficult to attain. 1. You need to be in an "awakening qualification zone" - to know that you on the cusp of something big happening in your spiritual life. 2. You need to enhance your meditation more, but be more gentle of the thoughts that arise. See where the train of thoughts takes you. (if at any time you need to go back to balance state, you can) 3. There is a moment. In which your meditative practice will intertwine with the big thing thats coming, You'll be ready for it. that's what meditation is for. To prepare you for just such moments. 4. Once those two merge, you experience the sweetest bliss. You are a Yogi. You can enter Samadhi states at will. It may last 3 seconds, 2 months, 45 years, or more. Peace & Love, Greg.

So my internal monologue is extremely weak and I have very few thoughts naturally, maybe one every 30 seconds if I want to, and this makes it rather easy to enter a state of no thoughts by meditating (not all the time, but still very frequently). The thing is that I do not feel any sort of union, bliss, or anything special in this state of no thoughts. There is no dissolution of anything. It isn't a nondual state of consciousness. The only thing that happens is that instead of my head having thoughts occur on it there are none. What more do I need to do to actually enter samadhi?

Shame is more an emotion, it doesn't say much about the exact underlying feeling. There's the distinction between emotion and feeling. Emotion is an abstraction or categorization of a set of feelings/sensations that have a certain quality to it. Feelings within a certain vibrational range have a typical quality to it that we call shame. But this incapsulates many different subtle feelings. Such as not being good enough, unwanted, unloved, insecure, rejected, left out, embarrassment, wrong, ugly, and many more. When I say that you feel a sense of shame, it points at a more specific underlying feeling. Which in your case it may be some of the above examples. You can. It's just because your nervous system is wired to instantly react with anger as a defense mechanism and so you have to become conscious of whenever this is happening so you can redirect your consciousness to make healthier choices, to turn the anger in on the shame underneath for example. 'The power of now' and 'the power of now in practice' has wonderful chapters on this subject. It's really about retraining your awareness to become proactive instead of reactive. Although you have this intention to become aware, the next time you become angry, you may lose yourself in it completely and forget about all of this, but the stronger this intention to become aware becomes, the more you will become aware over time. You just need intention and your subconscious will bring it out when it needs to. Each time, you become a little bit more proactive. And then there is this pivotal point where you have retrained your consciousness to turn inward instead of outward and it is effortless. And that's where you transmute anger because it's not about reactivity anymore. It's about seeing what's hidden underneath. Healing anger really is about healing your shame. And it is also not about controlling what you think. It is letting yourself think whatever you are thinking, not trying to control anything. It's letting yourself relax with whatever is inside your body and mind, and riding the wave. You don't hyper-focus. You simply let things be and you fully accept the sensations. It's also not good to want to get rid of your uncomfortable feelings as soon as possible. Liberating yourself from them is to release attachment/aversion towards the feelings. It's having the feeling and being completely in vibrational alignment with the sensations. You can literally treat it like a game. It's like this. 'I notice I'm angry'.... 'Wow, this feels intense....' 'I feel so powerful and alive'...... 'Grrrrrrrrrrr' You literally stay with the sensation of intensity within your body. You feel it's subtle qualities and you find a sense of enjoyment within that feeling. You can do that. But you can't make the anger wrong. Making anger wrong is what will keep anger alive. We have been guilted into believing anger is wrong. And we subconsciously try to repress and avoid it whenever we feel this way. Try to see anger as something healthy and something that can help you become a lot more powerful. I have a suggestion for you. It may help you. So above, I said that awareness is something that deepens the stronger your intention becomes. Without intention, the way you react will always be the result of the way you have been conditioned to react - It's your nervous system's automatic response. Your subconscious mind is completely taking over at that point. So the suggestion is to keep bringing the intention up in your conscious mind to become aware and to turn anger in on itself whenever it manifests. For example when someone insults you. I have a journal for example, and everyday, I write in it my intention for this day. For this week. For this month. For this year. For the coming 5 years. And for the coming 20 years. And I keep adding to it everyday. You could get such a journal and start to journal your intention to become more aware within anger. And as I said, you may not be aware the first time. But the more you journal, the more powerful your intention becomes, the more you will get these glimpses of awareness within the anger. It will seem very powerful and enlightening when it happens. You'll be in the midst of anger and then get this recognition of your own power and the freedom that lies within the power. It's THERE where you have proactivity. It's a sense of choice. NOW, you have control over the anger. By generating stillness within it. By not being in aversion towards the anger, instead seeing how it can teach you and how you can use it to go inwards. Now you can reveal the shame underneath and shine light on it. Now you can transmute/release shame. You're already doing that by this process but it goes a lot deeper as well. But this is such a good start. But yeah. Please be with your anger. It's just an intense feeling in your body. It can't hurt you. It's just intense. You can really handle it. And it feels so fucking good to feel anger and be able to just sit with that anger. So good. You can even transmute anger to pure ecstasy and bliss. Yes, above I wrote a suggestion so you actually have some benefit of what people write here to you. Because I really understand how difficult it is in the midst of being in it. You won't change instantly just because you get what we say here. You have to make the internal changes and that's when this will click more in your own experience. I really recommend the journal processing. It's super powerful. Every day and night, you can journal your intention to become aware of your anger. Writing down all experiences that made you angry. Write down the experiences in the future that would make you feel angry and really make it an interactive process within your imagination. You could also already practice at the same time you are journaling. You can evoke memories that have the associated vibration of anger to it. And if you can really connect to that memory and get into vibrational alignment with it, and you really energetically model it as if it is now, then you can learn to transmute anger to love while just sitting in your bed, with your journal. And then it is super simple to bring that awareness to your day to day life. It probably is shame. Remember that shame is just an emotion. It is the same like fear. Fear has different subtle feelings to it such as tightness, nervousness, cautious, frightened, blocked, doubt, worry, etc.... Yes exactly. What you say here resonates for me very much because I've acted out a lot out of anger and there was always regret. I've been in jail because I acted aggressively towards police. I've stabbed someone in his head and legs and almost killed that person. And then another time, someone had punched me on my head out of nowhere when I was walking down the street and I took my knife out with the intention to stab him. So I know anger all too well. It's devastating. But only when you are reactive. When you become proactive within it, it's really wisdom, love and a more calm power. Now I see the joy in it. Like wtf. Lol. Being angry and needing to stab someone. That's super reactive. Maybe the guy who punched me just wanted a hug because he feels so alone. And then I come wanting to stab him... But yeah, the core lesson is that it was reactivity towards my sense of weakness. He punched me. I felt weak. And my want to stab him was my need to compensate for this internal sense of weakness (shame). It's denial. So the key here is to use anger to see a lot deeper, to what's REALLY going on. Anyways, good luck and enjoy being

The Goddess Kundalini Speaks I am Shakti, light of the Divine Into thy soul I shine my light I illuminate the darkness within What has been hidden, will be revealed. Into the void I enter with life Once dark, now it is filled with light All resplendent, shining and magnificent Life is created by my shining. In thy soul I shall rise up Thy body I shall cleanse Thy spirit I shall purify And liberation you shall surely attain. I shine my light onto you to illumninate your darkness To lift the veil of ignorance that clouds your mind To give you the knowledge and power needed To lift yourself up from the dirt and achieve liberation. In your heart I reside, the seat of your soul, Yet, I can be found in all things, Everywhere, where there is life, I am present And the whole universe is my playground. If you look within, you shall find me. I am that which moves you to do great things I am the power behind love I am the Goddess of All Creation Shakti flows in everything that moves Shakti transcends everything that loves Shakti motivates all that seek out the divine Kundalini is the hidden power of Shakti in all. I rise up in those that seek me out Not for power or glory, but for the love of all. I am motivated by your love for the less fortunate I am also the Goddess of compassion for all living things. I have many forms, yet whichever you seek out, You will find me, for there is only Shakti And though my forms are many and resplendent All are dear to me and lead you to the truth. Do not despair, if you don't find me at first. Keep searching and seeking, look in the right places, Which are all within you and by turning inward Shakti's divine light will shine upon you. All Joy in life is by my grace I am the love that the mother feels for her child I am the passion that creates life from the loins of lovers I am that, which holds the world together by my bonds of love. In Shakti, you will find the happiness you seek The bliss, that has been eluding you will fall upon you The knowledge you lacked, will be revealed to you, The liberation you seek, will be granted to you. I created this world and yet, by the end of it We will reunite with my beloved And in his terrible dance, all this creation, This web of illusion, will be no more. Similarly, in your body, you are a microcosm of the universe. You were once created and you think you are real and separate. Yet, only I am real in you and I long to reunite with my beloved. When I crawl up your spine to reach him, I destroy all attachments. As I cleanse your body of what the past has left behind I annihilate the bonds of matter, I destroy the ties of ignorance I lift the veil of illusions, I reveal what was hidden, And when I reach my crowning achievement, we shall dance. Me any my beloved dance to the song of destruction The demons of illusion we slay, their dark world we vanguish, Our loverly embrace illuminates all that was once dark And only the pure light of the absolute remains. When you realise this, you shall be free.

That is conceptual. What i am pointing to cannot be conceptualized because concept is dualistic. I'm pointing to actually being what you are conceptualizing.....an infinite state of pure potential in which all possibilities are held, but unactualized - yet are all there without needing to be actualized into one particular finite form. That is God Consciousness. It is Absolute Bliss or Love-because it is everything and nothing, there are no differences. That's enlightenment .

@Someone here I totally understand that you are puzzled by Christianity, I was too and in some sense I still am, the thing with Jesus is that he is the Eternal Logos, the Universal Mind who is ordering and structuring the world into a coherent whole, but as promised by God in scripture he would enter or send the Savior/ his son, because humanity had lost its way and it still has since the Fall of humanity, one has to see the red thread going through the bible. Can you not feel that something is missing or something is actually wrong, like it could be another way which feels better in your spirit. Truth is a person and not a concept, you and me are persons and so is God. He is the living God. Jesus entered his own creation to lead the way to Salvation and Eternal Life. He explicitly says that NO ONE comes to the Father except through him, he is the light of the world. The divine hypostasis assumed a human nature and in so doing he deified human nature so that we can become divine too, thats theosis in orthodox faith, if we follow Jesus, by his grace, we will become christ with a little c, God will be God for all eternity and we will be god, we were created in order that we might live with God always in harmony and bliss and without death. Thats what the fall is all about, Jesus set the record straight, he is the second Adam. Jesus defeated death, he said he would die and said he would rise again and he did. Read the new testament, try to keep and open mind and contemplate and especially feel into it, listen to podcast who deepens your understanding of the history of the faith and what its all about. You have : Search the scriptures by Jeannie Constantinou Lord of spirits podcast Bible in a year podcast Jays analysis is also a great source, he will explain the Orthodox faith and he goes deep into everything related with philosophy, theology, debates etc. and lastly Church of the Eternal Logos youtube channel. Also the Orthodox Study Bible, its on Amazon, great resource as well. There are alot of great channels and podcasts, Christianity is the most profound tradition ive ever encountered, if you can see past the shallow version of it, which unfortuneatly is what alot of people see when they investigate Christianity, you have a deep and profound wisdom from the Church Fathers, its ancient but profound. I have hundreds of books about Christianity, and even Islam, I enjoy Islam alot, but still i truly believe that Jesus is God, been investigating this for a year now, and I was born and raised atheist, found Leo after profound insights from trips etc, then I found Christianity as the last stop and investigated it, trying to keep away my biases and see past the low level tier of evangelists and some protestants and found Eastern Orthodox Church, which had it ALL, mysticism, theology, philosophy, practical, profound churches, awesome people following Christ and was truly living a good life in Christ so to speak. I deeply recommend the Chosen tv series, it is free as an app that you can watch, to get the feeling of Jesus and what he actually did, it is the most crowd funded tv series in the history of films, it is awesome, season 3 is in the making, I deeply recommend that for you brother. I am still a baby and new to this, so I am not the best to answer all your questions, but I provided good sources you can investigate for yourself, and keep in mind your own biases as well, which is extremely hard i admit. I still respect and listen to Leo tho, and read about other traditions, but Orthodoxy felt like coming home in my honest opinion. But since I started praying, my life has improved alot. You are a sinner and you know it, we all are. There is no figure in history who was like or is like Jesus, thats my conclusion after investigating all the different mystical traditions around the world and doing different practices. Sorry for the long rant bro ?

So it all starts with my hobby being psychology for like 6 years, i started playing in virtual reality where you're using an avatar in the game using full body vr technology to interact with users in different (gaming) reality. I started doing alot of tests and discovered myself 100% how female psychology/biology works unconsciously. Consider this like Michael Newtons past life regression technique that the discovered. (We humans can discover alot of things by doing things on our own, these things that we discovered will be unknown to people) Basically reaching a higher level of consciousness in certain real life subject. ___________________________________________________________________________________________ For many years i was always thinking about our life purpose or what the purpose of life is, i discovered that the only real purpose of life on this planet is to reproduce. I discovered that low conscious female human brain subconsciously is mostly looking for good genetics, so she mostly will go for males that will show her good genetics in behaviour. The behaviour in male will mostly be based on survival, the main aspect of this is : If i reproduce with him, will my genes survive for thousands of years? This is just a very very small part of female subconscious. I was always thinking that the purpose of life is to reproduce because there is nothing else important to do here on earth, i was thinking about our ancestors. They have been reproducing for thousands of years just to get me here into this future, so i must not dissapoint them and reproduce myself???? Being a man with 10 children is more important then to be a billionare with 1 child??? Oh boy, i was wrong. ( You will know later) ___________________________________________________________________________________________ With my knowledge about female psychology/biology and knowing the purpose of life i applied to a sperm donor clinic, sending them consciously a very narcissistic e-mail. In the e-mail i bragged how much i earned, how good looking i was, that i fighted many times and had 0 losses, told them i achieve everything easily without doing much. After this, they called me for a donation appointment to see how good my sperm was and if they needed it. It was good enough and i could progress further, After sending my donor pasport i got called by a gynaecologist, he said due to corona he couldnt speak to me and sent me straight away to clinical psychologist. He would say things on the phone like : And you are good at fighting? I realized that he was being very judgemental and because of this e-mail he didnt want to talk to me and sent me straight to clinical psychologist but i also realized that it was a test he specifically said: And you are good at fighting? But ignored the sentence next to it where i said: I can achieve everything i want easily. His last sentence on the phone was: If you can pass clinical psychologist you can become a sperm donor. ___________________________________________________________________________________________ I was hoping that the clinical psychologist would be a female, this would be an ultimate test of the knowledge i have. She called me on the phone and started talking to me in a condescending voice like i was a little beby boy. During this phone call i was aware that she was talking to me like this because i sent a narcisstic email to the clinic and that this was a test. But i didnt know which test it was because it can be a test for many things that i was aware of. ___________________________________________________________________________________________ So after a month or so i went to the appointment with the clinical psychologist. She called my name and i walking behind her, first thing my intuition told me is that she had this narcissistic energy about her. When i walked into the room she asked me : Are you gay? I said: No is this genetic? She said: Some are born gay and some become gay. She said: Can you take off your mask we're sitting 2 meters from each other so there is no danger from Corona. I realized she said this so she can watch my mouth and see things more clearly in behaviour. I said: It doesnt matter to me and throwed the mask on the table. She was looking at the mask with a wtf look because i throwed it. After i throwed it she says: So how did you come to the idea becoming sperm donor? In a very condescending voice like i was a little beby boy. I was 26 at that time and she was 51. The only option i had from all the options on female psychology/biology is to stand up for myself and pass the assertiveness test, i started telling the story in a very heavy manly pitch with non squinting eyes to the point that she had to look down like she submits. I instantly stopped , she lifts her head up high and looks down on me (Then suddenly a random picture in my thoughts got sent to me out of nowhere the picture showed me a person in virtual reality that had exact her personality, it showed me by this what actions i should undertake to pass this interview against this person) and then left its back to the normal position and asks: What are your educations? (I said: Nurse . I said this to show her empathy and to let her know that i was probably an empath and also because this was my first education but i quit it during first year.) She looked surprised and shocked from my answer. ___________________________________________________________________________________________ So basically she was asking me all sorts of questions and doing tests, i was aware of every test and question and why she was asking them. I could pass everything easily, during this interview i felt that her consciousness wasnt on a very high level but that it was high and that i didnt meet anyone like her before. Because i was aware of everything she was doing to me and what purpose these tests/questions had. So i decided to take it a step further and apply my knowledge on her and see the results. I was answering all her questions and tests specifically that will make me look good to her subconscious. I noticed that during this interview it felt like i was being lead by higher power or maybe i was in a state of superconsciousness, the higher power was aware that i had this knowledge so it told me exactly what to do. ( it was also sending me pictures randomly to what to do) For example: It showed me a picture of the most beautifull girl that i have ever seen in real life, she was smiling at me without breaking eye contact and saying anything. What i got from this picture was: I have to smile to her without breaking contact until she smiles back. Then i looked into her aroused red lips when she smiled back like i really wanted her really badly making her feel good etc. So to make it short: I was in a state of superconsciouss and was definitally getting helped by something during this interview. At the end of the conversation i was doing short giggles to show her that there is more to this life because i could sense that i passed this easily and i could also see that she was hypnotised. When she said her finale sentence because the time was up, i stand up very fast consciously. (I did this because i knew if i would stand really fast she would experience a breaking connection miracle where she would feel that we disconnect/ her soul is coming back) I don't know how to describe this. So i stand up really fast specifically for this purpose and walk towards the door, my thoughts randomly tell me : She will experience this too look back. I look back and i see that she is staring into nothingness like she was hypnotised the suddenly she lets out a moan of pleasure (because her soul came back/disconnection was felt. She walks towards me and stands really close to me, when she walked into my space for the first time in my life i could feel an energetic field around a human body. It was like 8 inches from her body , it felt like very strong loving heat energy . It felt so strong to me that i felt like i was being burned by love and warmth, i got overwhelmed and was in total bliss. I was also seeing the world in Full HD felt like this was the worlds full color spectrum that looked like Golden Light all the dull colors were much lighter ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 3-4 weeks later i got called and they told me i was accepted as a Sperm Donor. Months after this incident i started awakening and many more miracles happend: Like going out of body 4 times, or seeing the future during conscious dream. In the dream for example they showed me a map of Ukraine and Russia on this map the east side of Ukraine was red they showed me that Russia is going through Ukranian border thats why it is red colored. After this i wake up and my thoughts told me that it was going to happen. I went to work and 6 hours later and i see breaking news Russia is invading Ukraine. So because i reached a new state of consciousness, i realized what the real purpose of life is ; The real purpose of life is: It doesnt matter just be yourself and develop your consciousness. We are here just for fun learning things and playing the game and developing our consciousness since we are god ourselves being split into different ego's/souls. So we are basically mini gods you can call god our Father. Abilities that i gained: -Going out of body if i really put my intent into it. ( it doesnt really matter anymore, i had this experience and know how it feels like there is no purpose of this) -Seeing future events , i only had this one time after awakening and it also doesnt really matter. By showing me this future event the lesson was: There is more to this life/develop your consciousness - Seeing/feeling how developed someones consciousness is in real life is a major one and how to respond to them to fit their level of consciousness. -Materializing holographic picture in total white color: to clarify - If i look at the picture of the clinical psychologist and after that i look at the wall of my room it materializes on the wall the same as she is on the picture and then it starts floating on the wall to the sides. Lesson for me from this: There is more to this life/develop your consciousness In 2 months i also have my first ayahuasca/psychedelic trip i wonder how all this will apply to what i will see! ___________________________________________________________________________________________ if you took your time to read through all of this, thank you and know that there is more to this life!

From what I know, most of such unpleasant kundalini symptoms happen from spontaneous kundalini awakenings. From what I know good shaktipat transmissions are the safest and smoothest way to awaken the kundalini. It might sound a bit contradictory, because shaktipat is also the most potent way to awaken kundalini, and thus speeds the whole process up. But it does everything with more intelligence and gentleness, and blocks are easier dissolved, therefore it seems to be overall smoother in most cases. Even after the biggest part of the kundalini awakening is over, I think receiving shaktipat transmissions can still support and make things smoother and increase bliss. Gareth Duignam gives very good shaktipat transmissions. He gives live group transmissions on youtube and zoom every Monday, Tuesday and Friday. There are other great transmission givers too.

Hi All, First up, I'm not trying to tell you what you shouldn't do, all I want to do is post a warning based on my experience with Holotropic/Shamanic Breathing. I hope that you take heed of this advice and don't go through the intense involuntary healing that I have been through in the last 3 years. I had a strong desire for the spiritual path and had been meditating for 4 years, sometimes up to 4 hours per day but normally at least 1.5 hours. I felt pretty good and had no existing psychiatric issues (that I was aware of.....) In early 2019, I felt I was ready to speed up the process as I wanted to progress spiritually and felt like I wasn't getting anywhere. So I started Shamanic/Holotropic/Breath of Fire (It has many names). I started on 2 minutes and gradually worked up to 30 to 40 minutes per day over the course of many months. I was still meditating but not for as long as I had been. Everything was fine for many weeks without issues. I felt good and felt normal both physical and mentally. Then, one week I started to feel off, it is hard to describe but I just didn't feel right. Felt really tired and unhappy (I am normally a care free happy person). I immediately stopped the breathwork but continued to meditate. About 1 week after I stopped the breathing practices completely I was still feeling tired and just not right mentally. Then one day I was sitting is lotus posture and I suddenly felt really anxious for no reason and this incredibly uncomfortable energy started surging through me. I did not know at the time it was energy as I had never really felt it before but it was really uncomfortable. I couldn't sit still and I felt really anxious from the excess energy. I had no idea what was going on and ended up in hospital, I started screaming in hospital for no reason and almost had to be sedated (I am normally never like this, normally one of the most chilled out people around me). Anyway I was released a few hours later when the energy calmed down a bit. For the next 6 months this energy was with me all day everyday (even though I ceased all spiritual practices). I had trouble sleeping (I normally sleep like a baby). I felt extremely fatigued (I thought I had chronic fatigue) and could hardly get out of bed for weeks. I was close to panic attacks all the time. I was so scared and had no idea what was going on. I had to quit my job as I couldn't really function. Luckily I was financially prepared for this. It was only after I reached out to three meditation teachers who could "read my energy" were they able to advise I had awakened Kundalini. Kundalini was moving through my physical and subtle body cleaning out past traumas. Boy was it hard. You don't realize what lies in your subconscious until you open it haha. I then had a relatively stable period of 12 months with no symptoms and felt pretty good. I thought Kundalini had become dormant but now I know she was still active in the background. I then started doing something similar to straw breathing just to try and calm my system. I felt great for a few months. But then boom without any warning again I went from feeling great to these massive surges of energy running through me that still haven't really integrated fully with my system even after 7 months of no spiritual exercises. The negative impacts of my healing have been the following: - Intense suicidal depression (Never really been depressed at all in my life until I awoke Kundalini). Almost ended up in a psych ward a couple of times. The only things. Mostly when the energy surges were moving through my chest and heart area. - Intense ADHD, couldn't sit still almost all day for many months. (Never had ADHD before, I am normally more sloth like haha) - Intense sensitivity to people, unable to be around some people. - Intense weird mental states, hard to describe but they aren't very comfortable. - Insomnia. This was really bad in the first healing period but not so much the second, still not sleeping as much as I need to but it has improved. - Intense sensitivity to fasting and certain supplements. Fasting and magnesium amplifies the energy and it feels very uncomfortable. Positive impacts (a lot less than the negative ones so far.....) - When I close my eyes my body mostly disappears. I don't feel it at all the only thing I feel is the energy moving against blockages. - Body gradually feeling less and less like "me". A little bit scary. - Can feel expansion of aura around me. - Small periods of intense bliss. This can almost be a negative impact if too intense. - Small periods of seeing intense beauty in even the most simple things. - Heightened intuition. - Synchronicities at times. Not all the time but occasionally. - One 5 minute period where all my thoughts just stopped. My head was clear, this was very cool. Only had it once though. - Greater understanding of subtle energy in general. The two laws that you must always apply for safe use of it. I sought help from a few teachers, tried a few practices to help calm the energy and ground me but in the end the main thing is time as the energy integrates with your body and mind, this can only happen so fast and takes time. Acupressure helped a bit and also something called White Light Protection Visualization which you can find on the Kundalini subreddit. One respected Kundalini teacher had me try all sorts of herbs and exercises that seemed to do nothing or make it worse. So I have come to the conclusion that very few people actually are able to teach this sort of stuff if you have a spontaneous K awakening. I share this in the hopes that others healing journeys won't be so intense and involuntary as mine. I also want to thank all those have helped me in this journey so far, those seen and those unseen. Especially for helping me to keep my second job and family. Good links: https://www.reddit.com/r/kundalini/ - IMO the White Light Protection visualization should be done by everyone everyday. https://www.taraspringett.com/kundalini/healing-kundalini-symptoms-book/ - Some good info in this book. TLDR: Shamanic/Holotropic Breathing awakened my Kundalini without warning and gave me what is called Kundalini syndrome. I went through hell on earth as I was healing for the next 6 months then I went through A relatively stable period of 12 months and then the last 7 months have been by far the most difficult. Still healing from my past at a rate that is far from comfortable.

It's fun when you get interesting new insights/awakenings. But the only real reward is being free of your own delusions/fear. No fear = no suffering = bliss

That's right. In one book of his written discourses he says that after a while the extremely powerful bliss disappeared. I suppose that when he was blissing out at the foot of the mountain, he was in a state similar to a deep awakening of 5-meo-malt, where all distinctions are collapsing and you are close to formless infinity. Basically, God was making Love with him, that's where the bliss came from. Someone in a state like that can't function in the world, and whoever says otherwise hasn't experienced the level of awakening that I am talking about. So, after this bliss state, his level of consciousness must have stabilized to a level of non-duality in which he was able to live normally, walk around, and answer questions to students until his death.

@BipolarGrowth Neither pain nor pleasure are real, but they are part of the appearance. Identifying with either ultimately leads to suffering. Recognising that you are beyond both leads to bliss. Discerning bliss from pleasure can be difficult. Pain is a great teacher.