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There is very little profound revelation in that collapse. It is literally just making obvious that all you know is the contents of mind, emptiness (your substantive nothingness), the subjectivity of everything, etc. There is something to be discovered within that but it's not like you just suddenly know everything like the answer to questions like that. Some aspects of proclaimed "truth" could easily be pure delusional psychosis from drugs (or from any altered state). Some things are DEFINITE. Beyond any question. Knowable. Then other things which are just psychosis or faith.

There is appearance. To deny this is to deny existence itself, which is pure foolishness. Appearance and nothingness are not mutually exclusive.

Definitely.. therefore experiencing is just an illusion as just you or i. Because when you are nothing there is nothing to observe nor you nor i. Because of these you wrong about appearance happening within pure nothingness. Because nothing is happening. Any action any words comes from the ego as these sentences. Of course if you take these as sentences. Meanwhile, they are not. Any knowledge comes from the ego. Right Now is prior to birth. Thus, enlightenment is simply being where You already are.

Oof. One of the first things you should understand if you’ve had even the slightest bit of an awakening is that there is no self and that your identity is an illusion. This is like, Spirituality 101, my guy. There are greater and lesser degrees of understanding this, but a more advanced understanding is that all there is is simply appearance happening within pure nothingness to no one, nowhere, no when, and no how. And any significance or meaning that is put on any of the appearances is pure imagination.

Most stuff is parroting by people. There isn't actually any direct proof. I do know nobody has ever experienced anything other than mind. I know awareness has no spatial dimension at all. I know sheer awareness robbed of any form is literally nothingness. But nobody smokes a drug and suddenly gains control of someone else's body or sees through their eyes, that is what you would need to constitute direct proof. Logically you can deduce from the lack of the existence of space and the boundless nature of awareness, that it must be one "I". The way the boundary is created if there are various appearances to awareness, I'm not really sure why or how that happens. Rupert Spira's wording on why and how is the most logically sound. He has very good videos on this, usually using the infinite nature of awareness and the implications of that, along with dream logic.

My disagreement is not that you do not make relative distinctions, but rather that you have unconscious biases that undermine your goal of harmony and unity. You have a spiritual bias, you undermine the idea of bias, as if you wanted to achieve full unbiasedness. But reality is fundamentally biased. Every single atom in this universe has bias, without that bias, nothing could even exist, because there could not possibly be something rather than nothing. You would argue that humanity should go beyond morality, and simply act consciously and lovingly. That to me fundamentally misunderstands what Love does. Love simply amplifies and creates bias. Love does not prefer anything over anything else. If you were perfectly Loving and had no bias, you would simply be God. You would not be a human who acts in a compassionate manner. Acting in a compassionate manner, after enlightenment, is only so because of your human bias. Whatever your bias will be, will be how you will act. Some people who have a certain bias will rape people when they get enlightened, because that is what Love will amplify. Raping and torturing another is Pure Love, and only bias could make you prefer to rape someone or to prefer not to rape someone. The construction, your humanity, is the only thing that allows for action, for preference. And that is bias. Evolution will always select for certain biases, and that is why humanity is the way it is, and why it has the biases it does, and why it will evolve the biases it will evolve. What allows you to say debates about morality are stupid, is morality. Morality is preference, nothing more, nothing less. In that way, even the atoms of this universe have a particular moral code. Yes, it is an illusion, but everything is. If you disintegrate this Preference Making Process, you will simply dissolve into Nothingness. That is not what Evolution is here for. Evolution does precisely the opposite. Everything that has bias continues, and everything that has not returns to no thingness. That is precisely the wisdom of this reality. You cannot use Love to decide anything, you can only use it to energize that which is. And more fundamentally even, all of these biases are Love, so there is nothing to even distinguish here. What this teaches us is that spirituality is like anything else, a bias. A bias that to be uphold, must survive. For that bias to exist, you have to participate in survival. And that makes you no different from anything else in this existence. And furthermore, you only care about it because you are human. An ant does not care. This is a good metaphor for what Love does:

I think both question and answer might be an illusion, nothingness appearing as questions and answers, but it all is nothingness appearing, maybe maybe maybe, if you know what I mean, and this is nothingness appearing as a question and as an answer ?

In Sufism there are things like god realisation,emptiness,death,rebirth ,nothingness etc.sufism trace orgins back to prophet muhammed pbuh in an unbroken lineage into modernday sages All.prohets were given outer relegion and inner relegion by god Outer relegion is things like praying,fasting,be kind,do charity etc .inner relegion is things like spirituality.

Insights about Love, Manifestation, Teaching, Reality, Sexuality, Personal Development, Shrooms, and more. December 27th 2021 Dosage: 2 grams of African Transkei strain mushroom, these are regarded for potency and high visuals. So I'm definitely testing it out. Now that I'm writing this in the future, I would say that the Penis Envy Stain is stronger. Taken at 11:21AM as a lemon tek tea, and I also grounded the shroom with a coffee grinder such that it's a fine POWDER. I added the lemon juice, let sit for 5 mins, added water boiled from the kettle, let it soak for 20 minutes, and then strained and discarded the solid bits. Doing it this way makes the trip hit really fast and really hard. My initial Intentions: What is Clarity? What is Curiosity? What is Creativity? Ideas for my business. >These intentions weren't seriously held, and as a result I actually ended up thinking about what was already on my mind. And that led to some different insights that were also very valuable. 17 min Starting to feel the onset 21 min Getting dizzy 24min Yawns, so many yawns. I need to premeditate my intentions for like 5 minutes focus before I take it. >This was me reflecting on my crappy intention setting skills. 26 min Feeling a massive body come up >I get an amazing body high, like a bunch of vines are growing in my body like a parasite and constricting me, taking hold of me. Designs on a Tapestry moving 30 min Heavy body load 39 min Tingling in my fingers and my limbs 39 min Tingling in my fingers and my limbs 45 min Yawning and tired like crazy. You can have unwanted imagination, like looking at your cute dog and imagining it getting skinned down to a skeleton. >Yeah, so your imagination on shrooms is supercharged and effortless in this way. 55 min Giggly >I'd say the majority of the trip lasted 5-7 hours. Duality needs to be created to maximize the love of the universe. I want to love everything that I've created. (as God) >Note that I have zero awakenings or even mystical experiences yet. I have yet to even realize baby insights like no-self. Life is learning about how to love. I teach people how to love their ideal self. To love discipline. To love routine. To love excellence. To love the idea of destroying their perceived barriers between the story of who they think they are now and the story of their ideal self. To love the action of suffering through a very challenging practice routine. To love doing the shadow work they need to do to rid their addictions To love being curious about life in order to find what they're authentically passionate learning about. To love the idea of healing their past and rewriting their story to become their ideal self. etc. I think the archetype of Shrooms is love. I initially saw shrooms as a tool of catharsis, but now I see that the catharsis is a byproduct of the mechanism of love at work. Shrooms fudge your boundaries of reality, which is a collapsing of dualities, which is love. All insights come from love. (When it comes to the topic of manifestation) You ARE IT! YOU ARE ALREADY WHAT YOU MANIFEST! YOU JUST MAKE ACTIONS TO PROVE IT! I understand what they mean now with Manifestation. You are ALREADY the person you ought to be. Imagine this. You are actually someone from another dimension that has already accomplished all the things you've wanted to. But now you've been transported into this body, into this universe, and now you simply have to prove you're already the case. You need to rewrite the books, redo the consciousness work, redo the speaking practice, and you doing this is just you proving that you are already it. It comes from a deep place of love. You become a fountain of love by loving your ideal self much that you are already it, and then from that place, you simply are spilling yourself out, and you transform through that process. That transformation IS the manifestation process. You shapeshift. You have to demand more of yourself to manifest it into actuality. That is precisely how you grow, out of nothingness, you demand more. You summon more of yourself! A visionary leader is someone who demands more from other people. They LITERALLY SEE your potential manifested in this moment right now.a I see you, the reader, as extremely intelligent. I see you as one that's capable of massive love. I see you as one that will accomplish your goals in life. I SEE IT. Can you? The universe if just a manifestation, an illusion of the highest degree, an imagination. Everything in the universe has been manifested. It's not just fucking there. It has been manifested ### ### ### Collection of individual insights You need to enrich and love EVERY MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE, EVERY OBJECT, EVERY PERSON, every idea, every creation, destruction, transformation, birth, death. THIS is how you love your life and spiritualize your life. Learn how to lose yourself more into life. When doing an activity, let go of your mind detaching you from the task at hand, and have the courage to fully lose yourself to the task. When it comes to learning, It doesn't really matter if you're kind of sleepy trying to learn still, if you're still learning, you're learning. THE MOST HARDCORE LOVE IS what is holding your table together. I need to study a book on boundaries NOW! When being a teacher, your need to BE the actor they NEED for THEM. THIS is how you teach people. You shapeshift into the form they want to see, to best receive the message. This is why if you're a christian, God will appear to you as Jesus in order for you to comfortably take in the teaching. God appearing as Jesus is the best MASK for God to manifest such that you best receive the message. So when you are trying to teach someone else, you need to create that persona, that mask, such that people will believe in the authority(illusion) that you've constructed. You shapeshift into person they need to see in order to best receive the teaching. Ask people in your life what kind of person would they like to see in you. That's also the kind of person you need to be to be their best teacher. The backdrop you have demands your attention. Literally how you dress, and the room that you put yourself in. The background you have while speaking influences how seriously your message is going to be taken to heart. The tone of your voice, the appearance of organization and thought-thoroughness in your speaking will demand authority. How deeply and interconnectedly you've integrated your insights will determine how strong your message becomes. When the insight is so deeply integrated it just becomes a part of you. And through that you just have to express you SELF with utmost excellence and vigor, and through that, THAT is what creates a great teaching. How you're perceived affects how you're recieved. ### ### ### Later I had an Insight that had me roll around and flip around on the floor for several minutes going "WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK!" over and over again. So, some more manifestation ruminations. I thought, What would it take for me to be able to talk to Leo everyday? Kinda like in a way of a great talking to a great. Like if you wanted to hang out with Socrates, you would have to be at his level. Sharing insights and shit. I then thought "well I would then have to be at his level in consciousness and understanding". (Even though on the deepest level you can only get the deepest truths from yourself and not other.) And, yeah, I know that this comes from the my selfish part of my ego that idolizes Leo because he is a really good teacher and I want to be one of the best teachers in the world myself. Anywaayyysss... Then, I REALIZED that I could ACTUALLY get there. I saw in myself, a deep realization of my potential to manifest as much Consciousness as Leo. Like in my mind, this was extremely possible. That I could make Leo my peer in terms of level of understanding. This is what made me go what the fuck. I was like "HOLYYY SHIIITTT!" Maybe my confidence is just the peak of Mount Stupid in the Dunning-Kruger Effect. But hey, it felt GREAT! And it gave me a massive confidence boost! Here's a powerful question. What would you need to become to befriend your teachers as peers? As equals? What would need to become of you? What would you need to do on a day to day basis? What actions would you have to take? There I was, rolling around on the floor, just experiencing high amounts of joy at the realization of actualizing my potential. Meanwhile, while this is happening, my buddy beside me is lying on my bed, on 6 grams of shrooms, fighting his demons like he's playing dark souls. But he did so very silently. Basically it was all an internal battle. Haha! I asked him later about it and he said that my excitement and rowdiness didn't fuck with his trip, so that was good. # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # Theme song of this part of the trip, reader, if you want, play this song. I was having the crux of this insight during this song. I curled up into a ball lying on my bed, snuggling an extremely soft blanket, feeling loved and feeling cuteness. I spent what felt like hours just enveloped in the love. I was hugging my super soft blanket, with an AMAZING body high, making everything comfy as fuck. I was biting my lip for a long time in a total state of erotic energy. I was fantasizing about LOVE. Fantasizing about sharing love with a male! At least a very specific feminine man that was supposedly crushing on at the time. It was a mega positive experience. Later I am hugging my blanket on the floor, still thinking about love. I'm loving the massive gift that life that God gives us. A lot of times during the trip I was saying "WEEEEIIIIRRRD! WEEEEIIIIRRRD! WEEEEIIIIRRRD!" >I was learning that on a very deep level, I want to love absolutely everyone and I know that when I realize I'm God, and when I realize I'm everything, I will be able to learn how to deepen that love. I want to learn how to maximize the love of the universe. I was also massively deconstructing the boundaries between loving everyone, on a deep emotional level. Like, what does it actually mean to love people? What really are you actually loving when you say you love someone? I have awakened to mega feminine energy over here. Also... I'm Awakening to bisexuality. I want to be feminine and seduced. I want to be masculine and be seductive. I LOVE feminine energy. (Side note, I'd probably love 5MeO MALT) I can find it in women. I can find it in men. I love the idea of putting makeup on to be more feminine when I want to embody more femininity. >I was learning that the gay side of my sexuality is expressed in a very differently navigated way than my Straight side. They're not the same at all! I also learned that liking the same sex comes with a whole new set of collective societal baggage that suppresses, demonizes and denies homosexuality. Coming out of the closet it not merely just simply accepting yourself and loving yourself, but it is also learning how to navigate in this reality in order to maximize the amount of love in the universe. Coming out of the closet literally means that you are learning how to navigate the oppression in society such that you can exercise love for your homosexual self, but yet at the same time, still look after your physical and social survival such that you are not one to be killed physically and demonized socially. >How you do this is becoming so sure about who you are that you're not attached to how people think you are. What manifests as bisexuality for ME, is probably very different for another person that identifies as bisexual. What you think bisexuality literally means for you, means a different thing for me. Like I don't like men in the same way AT ALL in the same way that I like women. The way I like women is HARDWIRED into my brain at a deep core level, whereas, the homosexuality that manifests in me comes from what I literally call a "gay fetish". This was imprinted into me from a young age as a result of homosexual experiences I had when I was younger. (Like age 10.) And for years I've denied and demonized the part of myself that liked that because I identified as straight. AND also at the same time homosexuality was VERY GROSS! But over time I found abstractions with fantasies like drawing of pornography, drawings that fudged the duality between male and female. (I can go into more detail of what I mean by this if requested). "My homosexuality" was in a way manifested because I loved a A SMALL part of myself that had a fantasy or two, and that part I explored more and more. It was years in the making. It was manifested over YEARS. It wasn't there, it was something that was nurtured and grew a life of its own. (I can literally go into detail step by step, each domino that had to fall to get to this point.) >But ANYWAYS, part of coming into my own is me letting go of YOU understanding my story that I've constructed over here. >In order navigate this new part of myself, I will study a book on boundaries, as well as contemplate what boundaries are. Also what is a relationship? >So just to clarify, in the end, right now at least, as I write this, I'm still unsure about what exactly my sexuality is, how Bi I really am. Like, do I just like feminine boys? Like twinks/femboys or whatever, and do I just like them physically(sexually) or am I able to love them emotionally too? Am I able to love a masculine man? Am I able to love masculine energy? or just feminine energy? >This trip allowed me to massively process tons of fear around taking action that would create further clarity. So now I am more confident to take even more action into developing more clarity into my sexuality. ### ### ### Additional Insights What is Courage? Courage is a perceived leap Beyond first perceived boundaries. Courage is biting off more than you can chew. Courage is willingly throwing yourself into a place that you KNOW you're going to lose control. Where you are not even sure if you're going to be able to handle it. Contemplate, What is control? Control vs Freedom. The light of God's love is so bright that whatever it touches it burns away any impurities. I need to practice spending money on highly valuable personal development resources. Like a life coaching package. Ideas hold the power of the universe. Which is why Epistemology metaphysics are important as FUCK. When it comes to buying shrooms I learned that a cube is a cube as they say, just buy some cheap b+ and forget the other strains. Just take more and you're there. You can't really fuck with the quality of shrooms. (Like I mean vendors usually sell really potent shrooms.) You can love fear. I am a DMT jester. That's the energy I hold. I am like the circus, I am expressive, I am chaotic, I am a clown, I am the actor, I am the laugher. That's also what I look like with the colorful clothes that I'm wearing that I call my tripping uniform haha. ( I haven't even done DMT yet lol) ### ### ### Integration: Study a book on boundaries to help navigate all my relationships in life in a way more healthy manner. Such that the love in my relationships have an opportunity to deepen and work at a higher level of synergy. Have a conversion about my sexuality with my Mother, as I spill everything about myself to her. As this is part of the process of facing my fears. (By the time I'm writing this, I already did it.) Take action toward deeply integrating this part of my sexuality. Explore myself. Thanks for reading!

@Someone here why do you think, no one can answer this question for you but yourself? why is it uncomfortable for you? „there is no inherent meaning“ is a matter of search and discovery, absolute nothingness only always a starting point.

Well then he’s been doing a terrible job. No offense, but if he still thinks the character of Jesus has anything to do with enlightenment, he completely missed the point of spirituality. I mean that honestly kind of baffles me. Infinite nothingness has no name and no form, by definition. The character of Jesus is imaginary and only a temporary form within infinite consciousness. Of course.

But his teachings is in line of leo. He says god is infinite consciousness and is jesus who once walked on earth to guide everybody to LOVE. He says jesus was in his infinite form when he appeared on earth. I said to him jesus might be true but he was human and how can human be in its infinite god mode form? He said " This world is manifestation in the consciousness of jesus and everything is Jesus ". That mean I am jesus too. And so is everyone. He says infinite consciousness looks like jesus figure. I replied to him " Consciousness has no form and is nothingness so how consciousness can appear as jesus ". He said " Jesus is nothingness itself ; Jesus is infinite love ". I said to him god has no image. But insists god has image and looks like jesus only. So I must pray to jesus figure only . Do god really came down on earth personally and are we all jesus?

No. Science is about making conclusions, distinctions and models. Consciousness is existence. Science is an activity of and within Consciousness. It will never take the shape or form of Consciousness, because Consciousness has no form or shape. It is impossible to represent Consciousness. Every thing that exists in some way, shape or form is a only distinct manifestation of Consciousness. God 'expresses' it's infinitude and nothingness by being everything.

Thanks for sharing! It is so nice to see that there are some individuals that are capable of expanding their consciousness and awareness above the duality that is/are being played out between Pro-Vax and Anti-Vax, between Left ideology and right ideology, beyond the delusional perspectives and stories that some Actualize.org followers “seem” to attach to, from the top down! It is so nice to see that there are a few individuals that can rise above dehumanizing of other peoples POV, and are capable of rising above the current Psychic Mass Formation that is playing out at this time in our Human Psychic Evolution. I’ve made this point many times in the past on a few posts, and I will repeat it again; There are a lot of people on these forums proclaiming how conscious and aware they are, tossing around words like Nothingness, Non-duality, Collective responsibility, Love, Absolute God Consciousness, that this is just a Dream, etc. and yet they are so engrossed in their own survival and fear that they mindlessly collapse into a limited bubble, a collective bubble of delusional mind deceptions, which includes being trapped in the Pro-Vax vs Anti-Vax, Left ideology vs Right ideology STORIES! etc……. I don’t care how many DMT trips you take, how much you meditate, how may retreats you go on, how wonderful and colourful your vocabular sounds, what intellectual words you know and spew out! If you fail to do the “WORK” you will continuously fall into degrees of “Spiritual Bypassing” (Google). I know, because I have fallen in these trap’s countless times on my own journey. If you truly want to become enlightened, it’s going to take more than taking hundred trips on DMT, or thousand of hours and days of meditation etc. Yes, this all HELPS, but only within degrees of moderation. These “Tools” should not become a crutch or prop on your journey! In my “Opinion”, when you CAN observe every thought, idea, image, belief and emotion from a nonjudgmental, unattached perspective, 24 and 7, and then with awareness, “TRANSFORM” and “DIRECT” those thoughts, ideas, images, beliefs and emotions into CREATIVITY, the Creativity of your own reality, the creativity of the Collective Reality, then you can say, “I am on the “PATH” to enlightenment”. You will then be able to rise above the Psychic Mass Formation that is currently playing out on both sides of Pro-Vax vs Anti-Vax, Left vs Right ideology, beyond the collective Ego mentality! The goal is not to see how fast you can become GOD Conscious, or "To be “IT”! This is an illusion that will never happen because God Consciousness is always “Becoming” and you will never catch up to “IT”. The Goal is to savour and experience all gradations of consciousness and awareness, to play consciously with awareness in endless multidimensional realities and forms of BEINGNESS. To create your own independent limited “BEINGS” and Reality’s, and to then give unconditional freedom to the Creativity of “Becoming.” Just sharing a few thoughts, ideas, beliefs and emotions!

Because true understanding is born out of Being, not a map or a theory. A description without first hand experience is worthless What are you gonna do with the description? Believe in it and become a religious nutcase? Oneness, Non-Duality, God, Infinity, Love, Nothingness, You, Existence... All these are descriptions. Without direct experience they will remain just words and ideas

Hello there. This is my first post on here. I'm currently having a lot of doubts about existence. One of them is about nothingness and how the existence of nothingness is just a paradox (I also think that this is the most elemental paradox in the universe). I've been watching many times this Gura's video "why there is something rather than nothing" to understand a little bit more about the existence of everything. In some part of the video he says something like "what could prevent nothing to turn into something?... Nothing". Yes, I think I understand what does he mean but my question is: if there's nothingness, what could push nothing to turn into something? I mean, if there is absolute nothing (but nothingness) what would decide or have the initiative to turn nothing into something? Even more. If nothing can prevent nothing to turn into something, then. Do all the infinite possibilities of universes occur in nothingness? It would mean that all the infinite possible universes are occurring in this precise moment. am I right? I know this journey of self development takes years and probably for you this is a very basic question but in my journey I am very stuck with this issue. Please help me. Thanks a lot

I want you to think about this scene from Hawkeye series. It gives you the perspective of people in the blip. (If the link doesn’t work, it is the scene from Hawkeye from the point of view of Yelena waking up from the blip). https://youtu.be/7hYg0w9ZINU A lot of people think that when they die, they will be put in a dark room of nothingness. What you really find is something much more radical. It is just like going to sleep. When you go to sleep and wake up, it is as if you never slept. In your experience, you lay down and wake up. When you wake up, you have thoughts about your sleep that we call dreams. Dan Dennett has a theory on dreaming in which we do not dream while we sleep, but rather, we invent it as we wake up. The same is with your ideas of the past and with the idea of death. It is all a story. When you die, you will have the same experience as being born. Compared to the Universe, going to sleep and waking up at 8 hours later we assume is the same as the Universe creating the Big Bang 8 billion years ago. 8 hours and 8 billions years are all the same in the eye of the universe. They are a “blip.” Look at the spirituality of the Marvel-verse. It is really profound. What is more profound is that it is our universe creating more and more of itself. I had a similar experience to Yelena while I was under anesthesia. It was as if I never fell asleep or took anesthesia. It was as if I reinvented everything. I could remember being nothingness and slowly coming back into ego/form. It was crazy. The weird thing was is that it’s as if no time passed at all. That’s cause there is no time I guess that’s why death is an illusion because Eternity can never die. Very mind blowing stuff. What are your thoughts?

I feel like I am trapped in my own dream and like this dream has its own reality which I cannot run away from. Feeling like I am trapped in one dream and like I cannot, and should not, run away from this dream. Feeling like reality is solid and cannot be transcended. Because where will those other realities go? They have nowhere else to go? And they should not go? If reality is infinite, isn't reality just infinite? Where are the dreams that you had before now? Where are those dreams now? Where are those worlds? What happens to the dreams you wake up from? Continuing to exist on their own? Continuing in nothingness? Zero point field, huh?

December 18th 2021 LSD Trip 003 Beforehand I familiarized myself with several of Leo's teachings. Probably more than I name here: What is Consciousness? What is Actuality? What is Perception? What is Intelligence? What is Will? What Love? What is Death? Understanding Bias Guided exercise for realizing you are God? What is Fear? What is Reality? Integrating the lessons from building your existential vocabulary. Plus I have watched most of Leo's videos at least once. So I supposedly plugged around 75-80mcg And then supposedly took around 20mcg sublingually. (In total, only about 100mcg entered my body max.) So, if, theoretically, plugged doubles the dose, then I'm not at 75-100mcg But more like 150-200mcg >I totally forgot to set an classical focused intention. An intention such as: Contemplating what is consciousness. I just intuitively wanted to connect all my knowledge and go for ego death. I also wanted to see how far I could go into enlightenment work on just LSD, before pulling out the big guns of 5meo. In my mind, I figured that just a "simple ego death" was holding me back, and in theory that made sense, but what I am coming to learn is that the LEVEL of ego death required was more than just a simple fear wipe of questioning things like death. I really believe, there are different degrees of ego death. It's a spectrum. This also helps with understanding the idea of the degrees of awakening. Just what we call "ego death" or what we call "awakening" are just benchmarks into how deep your ego death/awakening is. >The intention I did have was a recipe for a rough trip, because in my mind I knew I was going to rub up against fear, so it was just a self fulfilling prophecy. >It came on so fast, so much faster than I was ready for. It freaked me out. Plus, I totally forgot what dose range I was in if plugging indeed doubled it. So I was thrown into a world of fear right away. It was super unepic. If I wasn't under the intention of consciousness work, then this hell I was about to enter would be demonized. But rather I later used my fear to understand what was going on as much as I could stomach. >At about 10 minutes in I already started to feel the effects kicking in. Visuals at 20 minutes Things are already moving at 24min All my plans are gone Like I forgot to set an intention. Growth happens a lot faster than you anticipate it. >The LSD came on so fast and so hard that it was mega anxiety inducing, like I felt I needed to explode! I NEEDED to die (ego death). That would be my only mercy. Which makes me ask exactly What an ego death is. Because I can cry and let go into the fear, and then the fear would be gone, but I know I could let go of my notion of physical perceived reality itself, and I would call that an even deeper ego death, a more true ego death I would say, where you actually let go of the notion that your body exists to begin with. >All the insights were interconnecting so much faster than I could stomach and handle. Like holy fuck this work is becoming REAL. >At one point while being super scared on the rough come-up, I think, for a brief moment, I became conscious of how I was imagining my skull. Later this fed deeper into my understanding in which how reality is held together with emotional glue. Your attachment is deeply intertwined with "physical" reality itself, which is WHY it's so goddamn terrifying to wipe away all these illusions and hallucinations that you as God has created for yourself. >A psychedelic, fundamentally, wipes away your imaginations holding reality together. Courage is walking while your feet are on fire. >When I wrote this I was mega scared, shit was fucked as fuck. I was walking into other rooms, changing my clothes, listening to different music, walking outside, walking inside, trying to change the environment, I was spiraling down more and more. I quickly learned that this was a loosing battle, and I had either the choice suffer, or go straight towards what I was fearing and kill my ego. My ONLY comfort was listening to Leo with his video: Guided Exercise for Realizing You are God. Trying desperately to ground myself by looking at my hand. Needless to say I may have taken too much. It was intense getting acclimatized to the new body load/higher vibration/whatever. LSD spirals you into the story you tell yourself. >Eventually I reached a point and I said, "I GIVE UP! I LET IT GO I LET IT GO, I LET IT GO! I LET IT ALL GO! >Then that eventually turned into crying and that was the BEST thing that happened on the trip. It felt AMAZING! Hooting and hollering, sitting on my kitchen floor. WAAAH! WAAAH! I wanted to cry louder but I was worried that the neighbours would hear and come and knock on my door. >My trip completely turned inside out from fear to bliss and calm. It was silent. I'm crying and crying I feels so good to cry At this point after the good cry, it was 2 hours and 30 minutes >I had my fear wiped away at this point. So it was easier to contemplate the tougher topics. I'm ready. What is death? I want to be able to look at my hand and then look at an object and not be able to tell the difference. >#Goals. Fear is the difference between what "should" be and what IS. Your stories, your attachments to what reality should be And what is. What is, is. I told a story to myself that the trip SHOULD come up X Fast, then it came faster, then I got scared. >The comeup was waaayyy too fast, super unexpected. Fear is feeling more of yourself. >You're just uncomfortable with feeling the parts of yourself that you fear. I was experiencing fear Then eventually I just let it all go because it drove me to tears, the pain. Then I was great. Then I'm coming down, and fear is setting in again. >I feel like I shed the fear that the ego created for me, and then the ego was clamping back down on me with more fear. The ego is encapsulated in a nest of fears to put it in a context. >Fears is what locks you into your paradigm. Death is the breaking apart of imagined boundaries. And there are emotions keeping them in place. Emotions are what reinforce the boundaries of reality. >I now see the role emotional mastery plays in awakening work. I need to read the book: Becoming Infinite. I'm thinking about how I need to shake loose the boundary between my emotions going in and out of death. In and out of the emotionally gated imagined boundaries. Like coming back down to earth so we speak, coming back down to earth is a process of fear. I think this is what can be described as the ego "clamping down" on you. That "clamping" mechanism is fears sneaking their way back into reality. And it's to FEEL deeply into the fear to get out of that clamping process. When talking about manifestation, manifesting a new reality, you must first lose your mind enough in order to consider the new possibility for a new reality to be created, then once that mind is open enough then you can actually make that the case. I'm starting to understand how rough it is to awaken. Consciousness work is some real manly shit. I would argue that it is more important to pay attention to the come up and the come down then the actual trip itself. Because it is in between you and the trip is where you want feel that very deeply to merge it with your actual reality. And in that merge is full of fear, is full of discomfort, is uncomfortable, makes you feel Fully Alive, makes you feel going insane, makes you scared, makes you psychotic. I understand why Leo says plugging is better with the slower come-up because you are able to understand what is happening to you. How to Merge with Enlightenment. Pay attention to that nothingness. Patiently keep yourself there as long as you can. Merge with it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I am imagining a reality I have to figure out in order to manipulate. Like I am imagining the boundaries between me and greater knowledge. I'm imagining a "physical" world that I have to "do science" in. I understand the idea of a spiritual emergency. You need to take it to the end for that release. I understand how you can scare yourself off of psychedelics for awhile, when to deconstruct too much, too fast for you to handle. Too fast for you to accept and come to terms with. Learning to draw is LITERALLY learning how to create illusion. Selling something of "value" is LITERALLY selling an illusion. Simply because everything in reality is illusory! Psychedelics just shake boundaries loose, and creates new connections. What is an ego death? What is a "ego death"? What's the difference between letting go of the fear of death, and dying? What's the difference between letting go of the fear of death, and letting go of the idea that your body exists? "Ego death" appears to be a spectrum. Like there are many facets of reality that you can deconstruct that will also kill parts of your perceived self. I have created an understanding between Fear and Funny Fear is merging with an idea that you're close minded with. Merging your consciousness with a unpleasant idea. You cry when you merge with it. Funny its merging with an idea that you're open minded with. Merging your consciousness with a pleasant idea. You laugh when you merge with it. They're both just emotions to express the difference between merging with parts of yourself. >I'm starting to understand the possibility of being able to look at reality as imagination manifested as "matter". I had a serious curiosity to ask about death to the people around me, and I wanted to feel it deeply. And when I did, I cried and then felt love. I MERGED with it. 12 hours in, still tripping, still having visuals. >I think for me, LSD lasts at least 16+ hours, no matter the ROA. I am really understanding the value of curiosity in this work. If you're not willing to experience fear, you have no fucking chance of getting enlightened. Post Trip I woke up and I am stepping into a new sensitive energy body of myself. I feel like I've expanded a part of my consciousness into new areas that I was previously too scared to entertain. My mind is open enough to much more comfortably visualize the pain and suffering that goes around physical death or loss of self. Like, for example, I can more comfortably imagine my dog's jaw being ripped off, and explore the feeling of the pain of loss, investigate my attachment to my dogs being okay. Or imagining what it would mean if I lost my left leg. Investigating that idea and the feelings and attachments that come with it. I can imagine what it would feel like to live with loosing the fingers from my hand. I have a deeper understanding with the correlation with death and merging with infinite love. I learned if I am having a bad trip, I just need to lean into the fear and go for an ego death, then the fear gets wiped away. I'm learning that my notions of ego is much more deeply interwoven with "physical" reality than I previously understood. To Do Study books on 5MeO. Questions How do you define ego death? How do you define ego? Thanks for reading!

As far as timelessness goes, there is an important aspect that must be considered here, which is that the present moment is not finite. Which is to say that there is no "slice", like "a frame" on a tape. There is no finite moment that could be seen as a limited, enclosed "piece" of a larger tape ("the rest of time"), so to speak. But it sure seems like that. We tend to think of "the present moment" as a frame of time, the duration of which we are not quite sure of, maybe 1 sec, maybe 100ms? Who knows. But this is an illusion. And we then think that within this frame of time ("the present moment"), the future flows in, turns into the present moment and then flows out again into the past. And that "the future" and "the past" are like a tape that, although it is now gone, is being stored somewhere, inaccessible to human beings - unless we invent "time travel", so that we can bring up whatever piece of tape we want. There is no "it" ("the present moment", as ordinarily conceived). To most people, it feels like they're inhabiting a static piece of time. It's rather like an immediate arising and passing away, "both" so "simultaneously", so utterly identical, that nothing is happening at all, and nothing is not happening. You are (the) Now. "Now" is not occurring within this world, the world is held within Now. And Now is Nothingness. Now is In-finity.

If I am asked to believe his teaching that one creates their own reality of having this power to externally effect things to happen in the manifest and we all do. Then I have to wonder why is he creating the earth's cataclysm? The content is obvious what it is. People are addicted to the imagination of telling the story, an apocalyptic tale of epic endings in all the different flavors of expression. It's not much different than what happens even here with the mind of telling stories. Here the story goes that the epic ending is absolute infinity. We are all god, nothingness is the only thing that exists and everything else is a dream. The end.

It is. Especialy if your mind has good synergy with it. Iv known people that go paranoid if they take to much, but for me its just pure bliss. But the same could be said for any drug. I could totaly loose myself in LSD if i would allow myself to. Its just as amazing in its own way as weed. The fading into nothingness and the slight erotic skin sensation being the only thing left you feel while experiencing nothing but strange fractal paterns is pure bliss aswell. I could do it every weekend and it would probebly never get old... But i wont ? ill suffer like the grumpy ass i am.

It's not that they are absolute things that exist in contrast to each other. Good and evil are literally summoned from nothingness through the purely biased filter of the perspective of the ego. Imagine being a Greek solider despoiling the city of Troy, raping multiple women, slaughtering opposing men, and throwing their children from the walls. Everything you are doing is good from your POV. It's great for you, you are serving your Gods, you are getting the spoils of war from your labor. They are heretics, and you are justice. Everyone does what they do exactly because they think it is good (for them). And anything in opposition to that is "evil". However there is a catch, because it seems there is some kind of what I'll call "lightness" baked into the universe. Where is one moves from ignorance > awareness there is a trend of things being harmed less and less. That doesn't invalidate good and evil being imaginary. What do you know, the universe is paradoxical!

Ok I think I get what you're saying now, if you started explaining it like this it would have been way easier I'd argue that it's deeper than God, more like an another aspect of the same thing, but maybe you're right and I wasn't deep enough, or maybe I'm deluding myself and never "experienced" the nothingness you're talking about.

Actually what you are doing is more or less confirming creatio ex nihilo. You are confirming that we as contingent beings can cease to exist, that we were created, so what did create us? You did not cause yourself, and everything around you can not cause itself either. No matter what you do, you end up at the uncaused cause, which brings the universe into being, that is God, you are not God and neither are I. You can experience God bla bla, but , I am talking about the power which brings creation into being from nothing in that sense, God can make himself known, but we dont know what he really is in himself, we can see his invisible power in the things he has made. We depend on God , not the other way around, since some Masters as you say can "have" cessation, but still come back to exactly the same place in their room for example, there is something outside of your subjective experience which holds you in place, same with deep sleep, you do not all of the sudden appear with a different body etc in a different country. This uncaused cause does not cease , it is Being itself, but you or me or anybody else is not Being at all in itself, we are full of potential and actuality, meaning we change, everything is moved, that is actuality and potential, we are contingent beings. But God is not caused by anything else, it is the fullness of being, as you previously have said, nothingness can not create since it is non existent, so we arrive at an eternal uncaused cause which brings time and everything else into existence and it holds creation in place, thats why you dont " cease to exist" forever in a cessation or deep sleep. In the sense of creation for God, it is to bring or cause things to be. God is God, you are you. Nothing comes from nothing, and creation is here right in front of you, the eternal cause does not cease. But creatures can. My parents existed prior to me, as did yours, as did God. He is on a completely different metaphysical level then you and me.