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About Spence94

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  1. @Riyaazbasha Its easy to get overwhelmed by the sheer mountain in front of you. Truth is, there is no one place to start, its down to you. The other people who have commented all make very good points and suggestions and i agree with them. Meditation, nutrition and exercise are all very foundational things in my opion because they will get you out of your head, into your body, clear up your thinking and thought processes, give you more energy and get you flowing more freely in the right direction. Jordan Peterson says, clean up your room. You would be amazed what tidying up your apartment does for clarity of mind and knowing what to do next. If you feeling overwhelmed and doubtful i reccomend you watch Leos how to stop being a victim videos. I just watched Part 2 again and this time round it really clicked. it is a very foundational insight to realise from that video and it now feels like i have been freed up to proceed with doing the work with and putting the pieces into place with more confidence over time. Allow space for spontaneity and be patient.
  2. @Hansu My ability to speak to Chinese effectivley to the locals i meet normally depends on a couple of things. First, how receptive the other person is to me and my Chinese skills. Some people are just better listeners and friendlier people which allows me to be more relaxed and gain more confidence in the moment when i know they are understanding me clearly and they are giving me positive feedback. Fluency can mean flow, and it takes two people to have a flowing conversation. In China there is usually a correlation between the age of the person and how well i can communicate with them. Younger people in there 20s and 30s, and 40s all speak Mandarin very well generally speaking but when i speak to people in there 50s, 60s and above thats when i struggle to communicate and understand them. Also, some people just don't have the space within them to understan you, some people just look at me blanky and tell me they dont understand over and over again even though im using a simple phrase that i use everyday and i know that 90% of people get it. I agree with you, confidence and your only state matters hugely in speaking a language. The person we are talking too can help put us in a more relaxed and confident state, this then helps the language flow more and we are more willing to just fucking go for it and not care about fucking it up, its at that moment you will do your best. Being stuck in your head and anxious is when you end up making shit tones of mistakes and freezing up, so worrying about your ability to communicate is actually fucking pointless because by not worrying, you put yourself in the best position. The ideal situation would be to develop your confidence and inner being to one when you are relaxed, happy and focused and always just do your best. The good thing about living in China is that Chinese people are pretty impressed by foreingers even speaking one word of Chinese so anything else you can say blows their mind and you already have their attention. They are also very understanding because they dont really expect you to be able to speak the language and their default assumption is that you cant say a word, so when you do talk they are good at matching your ability, slowing down, and helping you find your words which is awesome! Having good people to talk to helps a lot.
  3. Are you interested in the content? Does it have any usefulness and relevance to your life in any way? How absorbed are you in the area of study? How positive is your attitude to learning the thing at hand? What is your attitude toward the thing in general? I Study Chinese and I find that when I am studying consistently it is easier to remember words and formulate the language. Of course this is simply because I am actually putting in the work but there's something to be said for consistent exposure over time. Huge correlations between interest and the ability to learn also. From a karmic perspective, certain things seem easier to learn for certain people. Follow what lights you up and you have intuitions for, you will find those avenues will be easier to learn than things you do not have the true pull and disposition for. Somethings in life I just seem to pickup effortlessly whilst overs require a lot more diligent effort if I truly wanted it and i have to implement better strategies to make it more learnable.
  4. I agree with @Elisabeth . Awareness is the answer. When you do a process such as the work and investigate your beliefs through questioning they will release. You have to do it consciously and do not try and rush though it. Question them deeply and sit with and observe the feelings surrounding the belief and that arise through this process. Often you will literally feel a sense of letting go and releasing through this process. It is pretty simple really, but it takes consciousness, patience and willingness. I feel after nearly 4 years of meditation and life experiences I am only just getting over my resistance to facing my limiting beliefs head on as well as actually having the level of awareness to sit with the beliefs and the emotions that accompany them and be able to carry out the process affectively. It is simple but it is it not always easy, however there is also an element of satisfaction, peace and joy that comes through the letting go process, so enjoy!
  5. @Leo Gura Can you expand on these points you made about the "logistics" please? Sounds like your saying it is a frequency of interaction, environment and a numbers game... What else makes up good logistics? are you saying if it was a different time and place and you handled the interaction better things would have gone more smoothly?
  6. @Average Investor Sounds sick man. Yeah that is a good plan on the travel side of things. I try to make travel an opportunity for me to get back in touch with myself and the beauty of life, take a break from work, get inspired & energised then hit the life hustle again hard with new focus when i am back. 👊
  7. On a straight up practical level answer to your question. Sounds like you are a native English speaker... right? Then my friend a world filled with abundant financial and exotic lifestyle opportunities awaits you in the world of teaching English in South East Asia. Western teachers in Vietnam= 90% 'illegal' workers on 3 month tourist visas. Now you can also go the 'legal' work permit route but most don't go that route and its all a bit fishy anyways. Tourist visas seem good enough in they eyes of the law over there... Bank to be made ($24/hour) in an exotic land far away with living costs cheaper than the clothes on your back. No need to speak the local language either. Not saying you shouldn't make the effort, but you can work and get by without knowing it. Goodluck!
  8. From my experiences so far in such communities, I have noticed that they require seriously developed and thought out leadership roles. One self sustaining spiritual/addiction recovery community in Thailand was very well run but one thing I could not help but notice was the sheer variety of people that were attending for allkinds of different reasons. It became a strange mix at times and their was nothing that could be done about it. The "leaders"/those in charge definitely had difficulties managing the place with people coming and going all the time and some people living their from anywhere between 4 days- 2 years. There was one dude who kind of founded the place but their was no one leader, and I can't see how it would have worked that way if it was. There were 2 meditation teachers, 2 yoga teacher, 4 different life coaches, and different spiritual teachers teaching different workshops etc. I can't see how it would of worked without this collaborate effort and designating different people to fulfil different roles while having that tight nit group run the whole place and maintain a stable collective energy as a whole community. Personally, it seemed like a big task to pull off, but they seemed to do it well. Power to em. That said, it definitely can work and it was very inspiring, but I agree with others here. Personal self transformation has to happen way before you even consider building your own. I would recommend visiting some around the world yourself for your own personal growth first.
  9. @Average Investor @Good-boy ahaha I like this mans thinking but I have to agree with your own gut on the decision, take some time off and focus on you and only you. I just came out of a serious 2 year relationship also. You seem like you are handling it well and although big changes such as cutting people who no longer serve you adds to the pain, sometimes its gotta be done. Do it from a place of love and don't look back bro. As for the travelling for a bit, fucking do it. Best thing I ever did. Put my life in a backpack, flew halfway round the world and got the fuck outa my small hometown and away from a toxic environment, people and culture. Have not regretted it one bit since. Go explore dude and come out the other side a stronger, more rounded, bad ass human. I went through a lot of pain after the break up but daaam I am looking forward to what is coming now. Good luck on the next chapter dude!
  10. Breeeeeeeeeath deep and hard bro. It is counter intuitive, the sooner you relax under the water the sooner you will get used to it and be able to handle the cold. If you tense up and scream like a biatch then you will never want to turn the water cold ever again. Start small. Take a hot shower and right at the end blast yourself with cold for a few seconds. Every time you shower, increase the amount of time you are under the cold. Then come summer time you will be challenging yourself to dive right it from the off. if that is all too much, literally start with individual body parts. Build up, I look forward to my fucking power showers. They still suck sometimes and I almost back out of turning it cold some days but I never regret them once I man up and do it. Momentum counts for a lot. Now I know, that the cold water is not going to kill me, it gets a bit easier to turn it cold regularly. When I first started taking cold showers, they were so painful, now I love em. Overcoming that mental barrier to turning it cold is huge. it will affect other areas of your life. Plus, they are amazing for your body and nervous system and make you feel like your fucking superman ready to smash life everyday.
  11. Loving this idea of making my mornings beautiful and something to be enjoyed. My sleep cycles are fucked right now while I am off work. I am like an owl. I am going to sleep at 5Am and waking up at 4/5pm. Struggling to even get up at that time because it just seems pointless to even begin my day so late. even as I write this I it is 4:30AM. I have decided I am going to drink a cup of coffee and just stay up intil the evening again and try go to sleep around 7pm to maybe have a chance of waking up in the morning and putting my cycle back on track. I have to go to work again next week and it needs sorting out!! haha
  12. @VictorB02 @zambize yeah I think you made some good points man. In some of my note taking the other day I ended up drawing in the corner of the page Inner and outer game going round in a continuous loop. They feed each other. As for some specifics. My biggest issue is the country I live in. I have been living in China for 2 years as an English teacher. While it has been amazing and I am growing and learning and experiencing life in a wonderful way, the people, pollution, noise and chaos of daily living here seems to trigger my lower self responses very frequently... aha. Most young Westeners never get past the 6 month mark as China quickly chews them up and spits them out.... There are multiple ways you can look at this internal/external topic and is really is quite interesting. I watched Leos Neurosis video and he made the point about just because you don't need something doesn't mean you wouldn't authentically want it. Change the inner and you can be content with the outer, but it doesn't necessarily mean you gotta just accept and put up with shit you don't like...If changing the outer would create a better circumstance and life for you then by all means go ahead and do it. Shit, you may even need to change the inner again to even make changing the outer a possibility. I am just going in circles now... but that's what it seems to be about.
  13. @Leo Gura A common theme of yours keeping cropping up Leo. "always both, never either/or." Cheers for the response, it makes total sense.
  14. @Juan Cruz Giusto @Consept @Bluebird Thank you to all 3 of you for taking the time to respond, it is really appreciated. After a difficult month I am seeing light at the end of the tunnel. It is time to focus on yours truly again. Thanks again for your individual perspectives that tackled the issue from multiple angles. Peace brothers.