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I used to hold the view that awakening can be used to transcend suffering. Here's what happened to me. A few years ago I was so awakened I had NO addictions, NO vices, I had 100% control over my mind, my body, my soul even. I could INTENSELY ego death from 5 minutes of sober meditation, and taking 50ug of LSD was a powerful 12-hour breakthrough experience. It's worth mentioning I have insane genetics when it comes to spirituality and have had many many spiritual experiences since before I was 10. I could even enjoy (very) intense physical pain because it was recontextualized as love and a service to God (myself) in my mind. I reached a level of awakening that's honestly unnatural and unrealistic, every second of my life was like being on heroin. Nothing could hurt me. I only realise now this level of awakening required an insane level of privilege and luck as well as a willingness to suffer that I only realize now I was taking completely for granted. Something really terrible happened to me, one of the worst things that can happen to someone. I don't want to go into the nature of this, but it was so horrifically evil it made me suicidal every day for months (even as someone who identified as God and who had an incredible life purpose). I had multiple horror nightmares every night for months and even years after the event: therapy and multiple powerful psychedelic trips have still left me less than 10% of where I was at in terms of my embodiment. Sure I got to keep many of the insights, but if anything that makes it hurt more. I have high hopes I will return to where I was one day, but Reality is brutal and sometimes you get smacked hard enough to set you back 5 years. Actually, I got lucky, because it could've just as well been 10 years, or my whole life. I think 99% of people in my situation would never recover, so yes I do still believe enlightenment can help you become much more resilient to suffering, but let's not get ahead of ourselves that we'll become completely "invincible" to the tangible (or even intangible) existence we live in. Don't expect Leo to be some blissed-out always on heroin guy JUST BECAUSE he's awake, infinity will always go beyond your awakening.

As a polytheist, I often get irked by the tendency of monotheists (Christians in particular) to treat all pagan gods as demons and to fail to acknowledge the difference between a god and a demon. This comes from ignorance and medieval superstition, but is super common even today. So, I’ll attempt to establish a syncretic perspective based on my own experiences, that of others and the extensive literature from polytheistic religions that are now available to us. The oldest religion of which we have written records is Sumerian Polytheism, which is most likely a major influence on other world religions in ways we are only beginning to discover. In Sumer, both gods and demons were feared to a certain degree, from which we get the modern concept of “fear of God”. Fear of the gods was born from the acknowledgement of the immense power they wielded over mortal affairs, as they were believed to be responsible for major disasters, floods, famines, pestilence, etc… It was believed that gods would punish mortals both collectively and individually if they were found to deviate from the righteous and moral code of conduct that was prescribed to them in scripture. This belief endures today, with many preachers from various religions blaming natural disasters and pandemics on the supposed immoral conduct of the population. Gods were also often representative of forces of nature and in particular the planets and stars that resided in Heaven. The movement of heavenly bodies was seen as a precursor to natural disasters, which the ancients surmised through a careful observation of the sky over thousands of years, making astrology and astronomy a crucial aspect of religion and society in general. It remains so in India in particular, where nary a major decision is made without consulting the stars first. Even in the modern West many people continue to study the stars to try and decipher their fates and the will of the gods. In Sumer, gods, in particular, the seven chief Anunna gods, were believed to be responsible for weaving the fate of humans, like a strand in a lattice or web of intertwined fates. Whilst fate was largely fixed, the gods could be petitioned to change the fates of mortals if the right libations, sacrifices, offerings, etc… were made. This was common across all polytheistic religions, remains widespread in Hinduism and has seen a revival in Western neo-paganism and occultism. A magic spell is basically just a ritual to petition a god to change some aspect of fate that the mortal might be unhappy with, or a plea for a more favourable outcome. A common characteristic across most ancient religions is the way the gods were seen, generally with a propensity to shine. They were seen as beings of light, which is also why they were associated with the stars and planets. Some gods were literally depicted as shining stars, such as Inanna-Ishtar, whose symbol was a shining eight-pointed star. His brother Utu-Shamash, representing the Sun, had a very similar symbol associated with him. In proto-Indo-European the gods were called Deyvos, which means shining ones. From this we get Sanskrit Deva, Latin Deus and Greek Dios. Consequently, we still use derivatives of this word such as the-ist, de-ist, pan-the-ist, a-the-ist, etc… to denote a particular type of religious belief or lack thereof in a person. We still refer to godly characteristics as div-ine. Divine beings / deities in other traditions often have similar etymologies or else they are given astrological characteristics as children of the sky, just like the stars and planets, such as in Sumerian Anunna or Canaanite / Judaistic Elohim. Divine beings, even saints are frequently depicted in art as pure beings of light, or at least being surrounded with an aura of pure white light. This distinguishing characteristic sets them apart from other supernatural beings, who are too numerous to mention. However, for the purposes of making my point I will talk about demons as they are called in Christianity and most other religions, specifically known as Asuras or Rakshasas in Eastern thought. Gods vs Demons Going back to the beginnings of our current civilisation, in ancient Sumer, a sharp distinction was made between demons and gods. Gods were seen as the representations of cosmic forces and could sometimes be callous, but they were seen as the founders of human civilisation and the creators of humanity. Everything the Sumerians knew was taught to them by their gods, according to their own accounts, though the initial seed was given by a seafaring civilisation that sailed in from elsewhere and in stories were often believed to be half-fish, half-human, perhaps indicating their maritime way of life. Sumerian priests wore fish costumes to honour the memory of these ancient sages. The pope still wears a fish-head hat which is similar to this, probably unaware of the true origins of this custom. But, the gods were seen as the shining ones, beings of light distinguished by their Melammu or Melam, a shining countenance that inspired awe and fear in those that saw it. Whilst they were cosmic beings, representing forces of nature, they could also take human form in order to interact with their devotees, often appearing to them in dreams and visions. Sumerians had a personal deity, often passed down within the family, that they worshipped, which was sometimes different from the chief deity of each city-state. Since each god was responsible for a different area of life (love, finances, health, agriculture, weather, etc…) the appropriate gods were prayed to depending on the particular need of the devotee. Personal gods guided their deities throughout their lives and would provide protection and comfort in times of trouble. The idea of guardian angels probably has its roots in this ancient practice. The gods were generally of Heaven, but some resided in the underworld, like Ereshkigal, its Queen and ruled over the souls of the dead. In most ancient societies, Heaven was the realm of the gods and mortals could not enter, not even after death. They went to the underworld, where they enjoyed statuses depending on the merit they acquired during their lives. Some parts of the underworld were places of punishment, where Galla demons would torture the wicked for an eternity. No doubt, this is where we get the idea of Hell and demons that torture damned souls from. Which brings me neatly to what the difference is between gods and demons. It’s not that some reside in the underworld and some in Heaven (though to my knowledge, there are no demons in Heaven, whilst there are gods in the underworld). According to the Sumerians, demons lack Melammu, they do not have the divine radiance of the gods. They also don’t possess Mes, which are various divine powers, divvied up amongst the gods. Demons also lack the capacity for free will, they simply follow their animalistic nature. Due to this reason, they are generally depicted as half-animal half human, with fangs, claws and such. Like gods, they generally have wings too. Keep in mind, these are astral forms, this is the form in which they reside in the underworld, a vast astral realm that’s outside our dimension, but is also under our feet physically, deep in the earth, existing in vast caverns. It’s important to note that according to ancient lore, most of the underworld is not a place of punishment, but contains vast kingdoms of great beauty, where various magical astral beings reside and rule. In India, this was believed to be the realm of the Nagas, wise, ancient serpents that taught humanity in the beginning. The underworld is believed to have its own oceans, rivers, lakes and ecosystem, slightly shifted into another dimension, so it is inaccessible to us in the physical sense. However, the underworld can be visited astrally, for those that have the ability, and many will journey in it in the afterlife or between lives, depending on their perspective and beliefs. Shamanic Journeying also tends to take place in various realms within the underworld, because it is so close to us in terms of vibrational compatibility. Many will visit in their dreams, often unknowingly. A dead giveaway is when during a particularly vivid dream, we find ourselved floating or flying, often over unfamiliar, majestic landscapes. Encountering a Demon Here, I will recount an experience I had astrally projecting into the underworld and encountering a notable demon that is mentioned in Jewish, Christian and Islamic lore, belonging to a class of beings known as watchers. This happened a few months after my Kundalini Awakening, when I experienced deep Samadhi and a visitation from a Sumerian Goddess. The experience had opened me up to extra-sensory perception and I could perceive the approach of astral beings from then on. A particular spirit, with a fiery element in his make-up visited me from time to time, presenting himself as a potential teacher, from whom I could learn much. I hadn’t yet developed the ability to communicate effectively with astral beings and deities, so our interactions were somewhat laboured and slow-moving. One day, I was sitting cross-legged in my London flat, meditating, when he approached me again and after failing to get his point through, probably out of frustration, more than anything, he pulled me out of my body. I found myself travelling astrally to an underground realm, which I presume to be the underworld. I was floating in mid-air, looking at the walls of a dimly-lit cave, though it wasn’t dark, more like illuminated by some unknown light-source, like a camp fire. There might have been cave drawings, like the ones left by ancient humans, but I can’t recall them exactly. As I was floating around, I flailed my arms and legs to try to get a better look of my surroundings. I eventually managed to turn around and to my amazement found myself looking at a giant being, sitting cross-legged on a rock ledge or pulpit of sorts, possibly sitting on animal skin, though that part is hazy. He had the head of a goat, except with intelligent, inquisitive, human eyes. His body was humanoid, though covered in dark brown fur all around. As I looked into his eyes, I saw amazement and surprise. He appeared to be impressed that I managed to project myself astrally into this underground realm and had full control of my faculties. I noticed as I was looking into his eyes, that our blinks were synchronised, he always blinked at the exact same time I did. From this, I surmised, that we were somehow linked energetically and / or telepathically. It may also have been an indication that he was trying to gain control of me, but I cannot say for sure. In any case, the encounter was brief, lasting a couple of minutes. Once it became obvious that he wasn’t in control of me and that I was seeing him in his true astral form, in his underworld abode, the encounter became pointless and I shortly found myself back in my body, sitting cross-legged in meditation, just as before. I later did research on this particular being and found he was often depicted as half-man half-goat, just like I have seen. From what I have seen, he did not appear malevolent, but he did have his own agenda and seemed to want to recruit me to his cause, which he felt passionately about. I should note that he sought power, even revenge over a group of people he felt had wronged him in the past and he encouraged me to use my newly awakened Kundalini and the powers that might have come with it, as a weapon. This did not sit well with me and I politely declined, though he did make a few more subsequent attempts at recruiting me, which I did not agree to. Finally, during his last visit, I grew tired of his presence and used the power of my Kundalini (Shakti) to drive him away. I generated a huge amount of spiritual fire and formed it into a shield around me. I had to keep this up for around 2 hours, before he finally decided to give up. He did not attempt to influence me after this episode. Some other major differences between gods and demons In contract, my interaction with gods was very different. I have recounted my visitation by the Goddess Inanna many times on reddit and youtube, so I would like to point out the differences here as compared to interacting with a Demon, Jinn or Asura, as the Christians, Muslims and Hindus call them respectively. As mentioned Demons / Asuras are self-serving, usually with an agenda and are slaves of their own passions, desires, hatred, etc… They do not serve a greater cause or higher power. They do not shine like the gods do, but are in contrast elemental beings, made up of one element, like fire, in the case of Jinn. They are limited locally and their knowledge is limited to their own realm of experience. They do not have access to higher forms of power, such as Shakti, which comes from surrender to the divine and serving the greater good, instead of one’s own ego. In Hindu lore, Asuras are immensely powerful beings, usually half-man, half-beast, that gain favours from the gods through spiritual austerities. This might give them things like invulnerability and special powers, which they use to make themselves ever more powerful. Whenever the gods grow tired of their exploits, they manifest an avatar, specifically designed to slay a powerful demon, overcoming their special powers and invulnerability through loopholes and trickery. In Monotheistic traditions, it is angels that play this role and engage in spiritual warfare against them. Another characteristic difference between Devas and Asuras in Hinduism, is that the former drink Soma, the nectar of immortality, whereas the latter are denied this. This idea isn’t unique to Hinduism and can be found in other traditions all around the ancient world. It is in fact the drinking of Soma, which gives gods their shining countenance, their special powers, their immortality, divine wisdom, clairvoyance, ability to see the future, teleport at will, etc… These are in fact the supposed characteristics of higher-dimensional entities as described in detail by famous physicist Michio Kaku in his books. Soma or Nectar is a higher-dimensional substance, which is generally the drink of the gods, but mortals also have access to it through various austerities and spiritual disciplines. Such individuals are often depicted with a halo around their head and can often spontaneously manifest special powers, called siddhis. Visitation by gods The below account is highly personal and whilst I’m generally uncomfortable sharing it, I’m doing so in the hope that it may guide and inspire others. When the Goddess Inanna first visited me in person, she took the form of a being of light, a mini-star or sun if you like. That is in fact the form in which she is often depicted, a shining eight-pointed star. It wasn’t just that she radiated light, her entire being was just that, a radiant star. Her light-body extended outwards, like the spokes of a star, becoming sort of like tendrils or appendages. She could touch me with her “hands” in a physical sense and when she did, her hands felt entirely real and physical. When she touched me, she transferred an immense amount of energy to me. Sumerians referred to this process as anointment, when the shining / melammu of a god was passed on to a mortal, in those times, the special privilege of kings and high priests. Hindus call this process Mahashaktipat, when a god or goddess passes on their power or Shakti to a mortal. Within the Hindu context, enlightened beings, gurus, yogis, etc… also have this ability. Christians refer to this as passing on the Holy Spirit to someone. Baptism is in many ways a remnant of this custom or belief. During subsequent visits, the Goddess did not take such a concrete form and was mostly present energetically. Still, her Melammu or Shining is always unmistakable and she radiates love and benevolence. Her brother, Utu-Shamash has a similar presence, though, since he is the sun god, his light or radiance has a slightly different flavour or even colour. Inanna’s radiance was always pure white light, her brother’s is perhaps more yellowish, like the sun. The two of them enjoy each other’s company and have sometimes visited as a pair. As is common with such visitations, on a handful of occasions, boons were granted to me. Nothing miraculous, but certainly significant in terms of my personal life, health, career and so on. Inanna provided healing and in one case the gift of a romantic relationship. Utu, the sun-god granted me a job I’m still in, which was exactly to my specifications and manifested within 24 hours of me asking for it, after months of fruitless search. Enki helped heal my father from a stroke, to the extent he fully recovered from a partial paralysis on one side of his body. Inanna also visited others on my behalf on a handful of occasions, many years ago. When she did, she either performed healing on those that were visited, or she provided an opportunity for divine communion, which is essentially like a merging of beings and an exchange of energies. Some have described their encounters with her in similar terms to how I experienced them, but there were usually some differences as well. These were people I never met in person, became friend with over the internet and had in fact lived thousands of miles away. When interacting with Inanna personally, the main impression I got was of her compassion and puppy-like eagerness to help others. I was also impressed by her unapologetic femininity, sense of humour, sunny disposition and playfulness, perhaps not something you would expect from a Goddess of War, but then I believe her true core is that of a compassionate Love Goddess in the manner of her original Sumerian form. Her war-like attributes were a later addition, particularly by the Akkadians who attempted to syncretise her with their own warrior Goddess, Ishtar. I often feel that subsequent love Goddesses, like Aphrodite or Venus are much closer to capturing her true character than fierce depictions of her warlike actions by the Semitic peoples that adopted her worship from the conquered Sumerians. She does have a fierce side of course, like all gods and goddesses, but I feel that this was often overemphasised by Ishtar devotees who were extremely warlike. A similar dichotomy exists in India, with various forms of the Goddess, some of whom are fierce and war-like as well (Durga, Kali, Tantric Goddesses in general), whereas others are highly benevolent and loving (Saraswati, Lakshmi, etc…). This duality must of course be understood in its correct philosophical context, which I won’t go into here. The Goddess in dreams In Sumer, Inanna was well known for appearing in devotees’ dreams. Probably each devotee saw her in a personalised manner depending on their own expectations and cultural programming. Many Sumerian Polytheists as well as followers of other religions report seeing and interacting with gods in their dreams. In my own case, I saw many vivid dreams of the Goddess, which were lucid in nature, in that I was fully present in the dream in my astral form, it wasn’t just a projection of the mind. In my dreams I saw her as a fairly normal-looking blonde and blue-eyed woman. She could have easily passed as a local in any American or European town. This was shortly after she first appeared to me and in my dreams I saw her performing a number of supernatural feats, such as flying all the way into space and incinerating her enemies with her gaze. I then did some research and realised that she was described as having those powers in ancient myth. I saw a number of prophetic dreams regarding humanity’s future with Inanna playing a central role in them. These took place seemingly far into the future involving various sci-fi scenarios. Could have been just my imagination of course, but dreams were so vivid and my astral presence in them so strong, that I doubt it. However, I believe the way I saw the Goddess was a creation of my own mind, she was given an appearance I felt comfortable with. Later, I saw fiercer forms of her, which were similar to how tantric goddesses might be depicted in Buddhist and Hindu art. Conclusion Taking a wider view, it would appear that gods represent a much higher order of life than demons. They are cosmic beings of immense power, also capable of interacting with mortals on a personal level, even manifesting a human-like form when needed, especially in dreams and visions. Their primary form appears to be higher-dimensional, whereas the highest of the gods, the creators and ultimately destroyers of our reality, the weavers of fate and time-space, are outside of any concept of dimensions, or traditional limitations of any time. Elsewhere I wrote about some of my very intense Samadhi and oneness experiences, which I conclude are the natural state the gods reside in. They only manifest individual consciousness, and with it a form and name we can identify with for our benefit, or when a certain task requires it. Otherwise they exist as one mind, a collective consciousness if you will. This is symbolically depicted as a divine council that decrees the fate of mortals (the Anunna gods, or the Elohim of Abrahamic religions), a chorus of angels singing in perfect harmony, or in the case of Hinduism and Buddhism, the Devas shifting from one shape and form to another without effort and in quick succession. The syncretism inherent in polytheism is also a tacit admission of this idea. Demons, on the other hand, are separated from source consciousness and are self-serving or more often, serve a higher master, which is different in each religious tradition. In Abrahamic religion, Satan, an all-purpose scape-goat, previously a pretty neutral figure, commands their legions, as an ersatz god of the underworld or god of death. A similar role is played by gods of the underworld / death in other religions. Demons are often sent by them to fetch mortals from the surface world and take them to the underworld, which remains a popular idea depicted in many movies, TV-shows and novels. They may also oppress, very rarely possess people, if they are invited in. It should be noted that possession is something that gods are also capable of and this is a stated goal of Tantrikas in Hinduism and Buddhism, where elaborate rituals and austerities are performed to enable possession by a deity, which is seen as the highest honour, a feat very few are capable of, due to the lengthy preparations and austerities that must be performed, to be able to hold the immense power of divine consciousness. Conversely, some spiritualists open themselves up to malevolent possession by lesser spirits, mostly by practicing haphazardly and without guidance, mixing drugs with spiritual practices, experimenting with dangerous occult rituals and other such ill-advised ventures. For instance, I only recently became aware of the fact, that Hindus, or at least Tantriks, draw a protective circle around themselves before each meditation session, precisely to avoid being influenced or even approached by Asuras, Rakshasas, the wandering spirits of the dead and other malevolent entities. I practiced meditation without the proper precautions and guidance for decades, hence the experience of being courted by a demon, which I recounted above. This is why I am unhappy with some monotheistic exorcists and preachers, who equate pagan gods with demons and draw no distinction between them. This is a serious mistake in my view, as gods are actually the ones that protect mortals from their malign influence. It should also be noted, that demons are not uniformly bad, some can make useful allies. A good example is Pazuzu, anti-hero of The Exorcist movie, who was gravely misrepresented by the creators. He was actually known and invoked for the purposes of protecting children from malevolent spirits like the Lamashtu and Lilitu, the exact opposite of his depiction in the movie. Another thing of note is that exorcists exist in all religions, and if anything they play a bigger role in polytheistic religions. The ancients assigned all manner of ills (sometimes literally) to demonic possession and oppression. In Sumer, there was rudimentary universal healthcare and everyone was taken care of. There were two types of doctors, firstly, a physician, who treated diseases according to scientific principles and an exorcist, who dealt with issues caused by oppressive and malevolent spirits. In any case, the common thread among all exorcists, is that they invoke the power of Heaven, a divine, higher power, in the form of a special prayer and ritual to force the unwanted visitor out. A common bait-and-switch approach employed to drive out Asuras in the Indian tradition, involves invoking a god, who can then persuade the Asura to leave by offering a boon that is far more attractive to them than staying in the body of their unfortunate victim. This way, no force is necessary and the Asura will leave of his own will. What we should take away from this, monotheists, polytheists and whatever other theists as well, is the power of prayer and invocation and the trust we need to place in a higher power to be able to overcome seemingly insurmountable challenges. It is through the power of the divine, sometimes through the direct intervention of divine beings (gods, angels, heavenly beings etc…) that we can have the strength to have agency over our own minds and bodies and to overcome attacks by beings that are often more powerful and intelligent than us. We will all follow the traditions we were brought up in, or adopted as converts, but it is crucial to respect other traditions, to learn from them and to see the commonalities between them all. Only thus can we avoid demonising the beliefs and deities of other religions and ending up with-witch hunts and moral panics that are based on irrational fear and ignorance. If you’ve read this essay all the way to the end, thank you and may the Great Goddess, Queen of Heaven, cause many blessings to appear in your life.

There is nothing more valuable in education than teaching people to avoid the perils of the human mind. Unfortunately as you say, the vast majority of teachers are as trapped by conceptualized reality as their students. Who is going to teach the teachers? Spirituality is ultimately an individual journey to non-individuality. If the student isn't ready, not even an awakened teacher will make a difference. Still, you can plant seeds that may sprout later in the person's life. As a parent, I wish I realized and taught my young children what I see now. Maybe it would have helped them, but then again you can really only teach by being who you are. Words are distractions except in rare cases where people are ready to see beyond them, to the reality they point toward but can never adequately describe.

Why do you say that? I perceive Buddha to be one bad mother when It comes to awakening. Yes, he wasn't perfect, so there ARE states of consciousness higher than Nirvana. To define is to limit. How, exactly you cease all experience? you'd be dead.... Or perhaps the opposite is true? you'd be he most alive person? In a stiil and serene state? A True Awakened One?

There is no such thing as "really awakening to god". If you did, you wouldn't be here talking to us. Everything else will be partial, limited by your identity. Your awe a psychological phenomena, a phenomena of particularized mind. All are Awakened to God, the notion of Awakening itself is delusional. You can immerse yourself in aspects of the Divine, and there are infinite aspects. So, there cannot ever be a full awakening, not until you dissolve completely. It's not, it's a reaction of mind. There are beings that are incapable of experiencing awe, or fear. They can experience everything you have experience, and not experience an ounce of awe. If you think that's impossible, your knowledge of consciousness is more limited than I thought. To bring up the Infinite nature of Consciousness to pretend like your particularized reaction to the Divine is silly. Of course Consciousness is Absolutely Awesome, that silly framework applies to all forms of existence, so it's meaningless. It in equal measure of Horror as it is Awesome. You still do not see how the structure, the particularized form of mind influences the "awakening" experience. The fascets or structure of your particularized mind will determine the fascets that will come to be revealed to you as the Infinite of God. Which, of course, is Infinite. It is actually a function of your ego that your limited human mind cannot conceive of the Infinity that is possible beyond it. That Infinite can be so utterly foreign to what you are experiencing now, that notions of beauty and awe could be so infinite foreign to you as the infinite fascets of existence that you have no conception whatsoever could even exist. You are underestimating Infinite, and I have no idea how you could still do so after the many trips you had. I never said anything about being awestruck or not. You seem to be missing the point of what I am saying. There are infinite possible minds, and they will all project their own particularized nature onto an experience of the Infinite, because the Infinite is experienced through those particularized fascets of existence. That is how your mind can form a memory of it, and analyze it. That's all you can hope to do with your human mind. You'll see eventually. There will be super-human minds in the future, that will be capable of experience fascets of the Infinite that your mind simply cannot engage with. It's so funny, because it's your ego telling you that you, in your lifetime, must be able to experience of all God. What a silly notion, you'll die. You will not be the one with the greatest understanding of God, your mind is not even capable of it. You can barely walk if the consciousness is high enough. That's a limitation fo the fibre of your being. Anything beyond that, the true wisdom of Godhead, cannot be transfered through this particularized life form. It's a pipe dream, it would fry your brain. And then, you'd see what I mean.

you will be fully awakened only when you will be everything, when there wont be nothing of you in any way - you can't experience everything, you can't ever be fully awakened because for that to happen there is a need for there to be nothing separated and the fact that something experiencing anything means that you aren't fully awakened

@AsafTheMagniv Yes, I am in a dream right now because I am not in an awakened state.

Damn, what a day. And what a day yesterday was. Another HUGE awakening at night. It's incredible... Writing reports is getting tiring at this point, but I'm prolly gonna do it. I value my reports a lot, truly. But I'm most likely not going to post it since I feel like closing off a bit. I was so conscious today it was insane. I recognized Myself as God but did my necessary duties diligently. It was so much fun!!!! Then I returned home and saw Leo's outburst, or whatever it was. I have mixed feelings and I'm a bit confused. On the one hand I was inspired because I know he's gone really, really far and I think he meant well. I've learned so much from him. He especially taught me how infinitely deep the rabbit hole goes and to not rest on my laurels. He has a point with his harshness and I realize he's trying to convey how GRAND all of it is. But on the other hand... it feels wrong to me. I mean, THIS kind of speech is not aligned with my values. There are understandable reasons (at least to me) for talking down a bit (since he HAS gone far) but not to this degree... Damn. I feel torn, sad even. ☹️ Today I was contemplating and had a thought that I don't really need anyone else to further awaken. I awakened so much that listening to teachers feels stupid to me right now. This is something that's been on my mind for weeks now: I want to purge all my beliefs about reality, I want to purge all these misleading concepts AND now I want to purge my reliance on others for understanding what I am. I mean, I'm not recognizing Myself very clearly right now (it's in the back of my mind however and it's readily accessible I think) because I'm tired and all but honestly, who the fuck is going to make me understand better what I am than Myself? I mean it's stupid! I fucking have Myself! Yea sure this state is probably going to pass sooner or later and when I REALLY forget I'll probably be singing a different tune, but come the fuck on! I HAVE MYSELF! Oh, I'm recognizing Myself again. I'm back haha. Ehh, this post is going nowhere. I'm tired of everything. So much to say and so little time and energy. Well, writing here is pointless anyway. On a final note I'll say this. One of the things I'm most happy about is that I have something NOTHING and NO ONE can EVER take away from me. My power to come back to Myself. I can always become aware and just observe this Dream as it is. I don't have to react. I can just melt in Presence. Anytime something is troubling me, I can melt in Presence. When I am stressed and anxious, I can melt in Presence. When I am unsure and scared, I can melt in Presence. Anytime something is too hard for me to accept, I can melt in Presence. I don't have to do anything. I can just melt in My Love. My Infinite Love for Myself. ❤️♾️❤️

He's the centre of this forum, it's unprofessional and dangerous for him to speak like this. Of course he doesn't care because he need not care when speaking to himself, but life ending thoughts are spoken so freely here it's perpetuating delusions. You could be right But why this insistent on depth? On development or work, truth is not understandable, is not translatable, you can't quantify or section it up, you can't focus on it and you can't grasp it, I say I'm awakened but I'm not really because that's a fiction. But simultaneously I am, nobody ever is not awake, If I say I'm not awake on this forum I'll be believed without a second guess, If I say I'm awake I'll be put down and told no you aren't. But aren't we always just exactly as we are? Is this not the goal for many, to peak behind the curtain to realise it was you all along? Who says I'm not laughing, this post has gone far from my original intention but this is entertaining.

to awaken is just a term that you understand reality better, you can always "awaken more" - it isn't once, and then poof you are awakened. the fact that you are alive means that you aren't everything, you are always infinitely far from understanding everything no matter how much limited knowledge you get. even if you have infinite knowledge you will be infinitely away from everything because reality is infinite of infinities. to seek to awaken is just to seek to improve - to improve your understanding and you gotta get more insights and knowledge about reality to improve - as simple as that - of course, there are infinite ways but do what works for you.

I am not the I, I am all, I am nothing. I am truly at peace, I see all clearly. But.. Now what? I enjoy my life, but it's been a few years without a spiritual goal, just enjoying the bliss, I'm wondering where I can now take my spiritual practice if I'm to pursue something new.

@Leo Gura And others solipsism is the absolute truth I realized but it's not the Wikipedia definition of solipsism. A person who believes In the wikepidia definition of solipsism is not enlightened because they still make a distinction between self and others hence they are derealized. The awakened person knows he or she is the entire universe and there is only one consiousness hence the duality collapses which means that's the non wikepidia definition of solipsism they believe and that person is enlightened. I realized I am the only one but by that I mean the universal me not the avatar me which distinguishes itself from other people. The awakening was so profound that I can't explain it using the human language it has to be experienced.

Life is so vast, that intellect and logic are unable to contain it. Life contains logic and intellect that is part of man. Logic parts life in an attempt to grasp its immensity and in which man feels an existential angst. Science is to know the exterior objective physical world, religion is to know the interior subjective world of man. The subject of which is an abyss to the intellect, for the source of who we are, that is God, is vast. A part can’t contain the whole, but is contained by it. We are in a intellectual abyss for we are trying to grasp an abyss beyond logic and duality (subjective), with an intellect that is logical and dual (objective) Man is lost in translation, the translation of realms and dimensions that he is betwixt. The realm of logic and love. Metaphysics is about that which is beyond physics, beyond the laws of the physical world, for we exist within the spiritual,within God, not without. Logic deduces the whole to its parts. In deduction exists reduction. The part tries to get to the whole that is larger than itself. The physical world follows logic, the other world is beyond logic. Logic is science, what is beyond logic is religious. Science is about the seen world, religion about the unseen. It is not that God is dead, but that we are dead to the world of God. People who sense something beyond the objective materialist world, are correct, but not in their interpretation and application of it to the world of physical laws. They try to impose the metaphysical which is illogical and infinite to the physical which is logical and finite. Both exist, but in their respective realms, within reality. Reality encompasses realms, a certain realm cant encompass and be imposed on reality. To fit the metaphysical onto the physical is the issue. We are not apart from the metaphysical, but in process with it, and yet we try to part ourself from it in order to grasp it with our intellect of which it can only grasp the part and not the whole. To tie this into politics, the far left lean into subjective reality denying the objective, the far right objective reality at the cost of the subjective. The spirit is bifurcated through biology but longs to transmute that to which it is born into, back to its source, unity. The trans movement,whether in biology or humanism appeals to the spirit of man but not in the expression it takes in society. It is a hijacking and misinterpretation of the spiritual instinct to transcend biology and be free from the flesh. Man wants to transcend the duality of his biology, not transmix biology. If we are subjects experiencing the objective world, then the question arises who is the subject, who am I? Beasts know not that they are, man knows that he is, but not who he is. An awakened one, a prophet knows who he is. Ordinary man is in limbo between these dimensions. The external world is dual, dialectic, syllogistic, logically a place of cause and effect, thesis and antithesis. The interior world is in its essence synthesised. Synthesis isn’t external but internal, of the spirit that is one. We try to synthesis that essence, externally. Mans trouble is his sense of being between the duality of realms, lacking the awareness and comprehension of his oneness amongst the duality. His struggle and angst is in comprehending, translating, and existing between these realms, to be in the world and not of it. To partake in life, without parting himself from it through the means of his intellect, which tries to fragment the tapestry of the life to its parts in an attempt to feel at ease with it. The finite can only hold the finite, the mind makes the infinite finite for its sake. To hold life's essence is to be-hold it. To behold, one must first be. The intellect, a lousy master but a good servant clouds this being. Empty the mind and be, to behold life and be held by the essence that is life, that is to be with the infinite, dis-embodied yet embodied. Logic asks why, love asks why not. Logic reduces life to its part, love raises life to its whole. Logic is the realm of the physical world of cause and effect, love the realm of the spiritual world of union. Logic is causal minded, love is union felt. Logic goes through the part, love through the whole. Logic is linear, life non-linear, circular. Alchemising itself. A straight line, taken to its end will circle the earth back to itself. A line is part of a circle, yet we focus only on the line. Behold, the circle of life.

Life is so vast, that intellect and logic are unable to contain it. Life contains logic and intellect that is part of man. Logic parts life in an attempt to grasp its immensity and in which man feels an existential angst. Science is to know the exterior objective physical world, religion is to know the interior subjective world of man. The subject of which is an abyss to the intellect, for the source of who we are, that is God, is vast. A part can’t contain the whole, but is contained by it. We are in a intellectual abyss for we are trying to grasp an abyss beyond logic and duality (subjective), with an intellect that is logical and dual (objective) Man is lost in translation, the translation of realms and dimensions that he is betwixt. The realm of logic and love. Metaphysics is about that which is beyond physics, beyond the laws of the physical world, for we exist within the spiritual,within God, not without. Logic deduces the whole to its parts. In deduction exists reduction. The part tries to get to the whole that is larger than itself. The physical world follows logic, the other world is beyond logic. Logic is science, what is beyond logic is religious. Science is about the seen world, religion about the unseen. It is not that God is dead, but that we are dead to the world of God. People who sense something beyond the objective materialist world, are correct, but not in their interpretation and application of it to the world of physical laws. They try to impose the metaphysical which is illogical and infinite to the physical which is logical and finite. Both exist, but in their respective realms, within reality. Reality encompasses realms, a certain realm cant encompass and be imposed on reality. To fit the metaphysical onto the physical is the issue, its not that we come from the metaphysical, but out of it. We are not apart from the metaphysical, but in process with it, and yet we try to part ourself from it in order to grasp it with our intellect of which it can only grasp the part and not the whole. To tie this into politics, the far left lean into subjective reality denying the objective, the far right objective reality at the cost of the subjective. The spirit is bifurcated through biology but longs to transmute that to which it is born into, back to its source, unity. The trans movement,whether in biology or humanism appeals to the spirit of man but not in the expression it takes in society. It is a hijacking and misinterpretation of the spiritual instinct to transcend. Man wants to transcend the duality of his biology, not transmix biology. If we are subjects experiencing the objective world, then the question arises who is the subject, who am I? Beasts know not that they are, man knows that he is, but not who he is. An awakened one, a prophet knows who he is. Ordinary man is in limbo between these dimensions. The external world is dual, dialectic, syllogistic, logically a place of cause and effect, thesis and antithesis. The interior world is in its essence synthesised. Synthesis isn’t external but internal, of the spirit that is one. We try to synthesis that essence,externally. Mans trouble is his sense of being between the duality of realms, his juvenile awareness of his oneness amongst the duality. His struggle and angst is in comprehending, translating, and existing between these realms, to be in the world and not of it. To partake in life, without parting himself from it through the means of his intellect, which tries to fragment the tapestry of the life to its parts in an attempt to feel at ease with it. The finite can only hold the finite, the mind makes the infinite finite for its sake. To hold life's essence is to be-hold it. To behold, one must first be. The intellect, a lousy master but a good servant clouds this being. Empty the mind and be to be hold life and be held by the essence that is life, that is to be with the infinite, dis-embodied yet embodied. Logic asks why, love asks why not. Logic reduces life to its part, love raises life to its whole. Logic is the realm of the physical world of cause and effect, love the realm of the spiritual world of union. Logic is causal minded, love is union felt. Logic goes through the part, love through the whole. Logic is linear, life non-linear, circular. Alchemising itself. A straight line, taken to its end will circle the earth back to itself. A line is part of a circle, yet we focus only on the line. Behold, the circle of life.

This is not just about getting to awakening, which Buddhism teaches. It's about embodying the principles of an awakened person. One of the principles is impermanence. Which is precisely why every awakening is different! Awakening, as an experience, is temporary!! But, life as an enlightened person is a spiritual journey.

It seems to vary a lot and is highly personal. The transformational aspects that may come are your decisions to make. From the ego perspective, it doesn't make sense to want such radical transformations so it would seem "unproductive". But actually, this planet could use more selfless awakened healers/leaders, so if your self-identity becomes about the collective then it actually makes perfect sense once you yourself are healed and able to give more than you receive from the ego standpoint (eg, where you start to live in the reality that by giving to another that you're giving to yourself, but with self-respect also). Awakening does not guarantee this path it takes more decision-making to reach that, but it certainly can if used for this purpose on top of understanding. Understanding to me goes hand in hand with transformation so it just depends on what you are personally inspired to do. Deep awakenings can inspire you to be dedicated to being an artist, conscious leader, saint, empathic healer, spiritual teacher, etc on this planet, or just a really good/generous person. But to actualize those things you still have to actually decide for such. Or you can still live out the rest of this life through the ego perspective if that is what you feel inspired to do and there's nothing wrong with that either, or "away from society", it just highly depends on the individual and where they are at in their evolution. Most people's immediate concern is to heal their own traumas and internal conflicts, and that already can improve their lives drastically for themselves and the world, and I would say a requirement for the next steps. However it can also disorient you for some time and cause you to change your work and life drastically. It is helpful to have some support in your life during the awakening process if you have the luxury of such. Some people can awaken a lot and not really change that much or change very slowly, others it can cause a total shift that the person you once knew is no longer. The glory and love from God should inspire you but it's not a simple process, the permanent dissolution of the ego is an arduous process and there are many layers of it for most beings and takes some time if you are not born awakened at a young age. But sometimes you just know that that's what you're meant for in this incarnation, whereas others have to go through a few things and come back to it. During this time it's not uncommon to go through bouts of depression, suicidal thoughts, doubts, etc. So one might seem to the world that one is going insane and "lost it". But you will come out the other side and have grown from it.

On this aspect I used to be annoyed when Leo in his videos answer to objections that I was not even having,but I contemplated later with myself that maybe he himself ready was faced in himself that objection so he present in the video. And in many instances the objection he brougth up and answered was exactly the one my mind was thinking. Just imagine you are talking to a camera, would you assume the mind that is listening in the other side is an enlighten, unbias mind? If the reciver of the videos was a awakened being there would be no need of videos. For me Leo could keep recording as he wish. The only thing I would ask him to do is : Keep speaking the truth radicaly.

You will never humble people by directly shitting on their character, you will humble people by being emphatetic and carefully walking them through examples and demonstrateing how wrong they are. - and you already have a very good skillset to do that, and you have already done that in some of your videos. By the combination of praising yourself (saying that you are special, saying that you have a special brain chemistry, and saying that you have awakened to things, that no other guru or spiritual person have awakened to) and at the same time shitting on your listeners - you create an effect, where most of your listeners will just look at you as an authoritative figure who delivers the truth, the truth, that cannot be questioned by them, because they are too incapable or dumb to do so , so they will just eat your words without thinking about them or without any contemplation. You also create an effect, where your deepest insights will be directly tied to the uniqueness of your character ( because the impilcation by you saying that no one knows the stuff that you know [even though there are many spiritually gifted people who have done much more spiritual work than you], is that your deepest insights can only be achieved by having the characteristics that you have).

I mediated for two weeks before awakening...perhaps less. Tips i do have..... I awakened while meditating to the very first few videos on enlightenment by Leo. He will go into inquiring into what you are, in I believe the second or third episode. That said - there is a problem. I am giving you the answers. God realization doesn't work like that because it's can't be ego driven. The ego has to stumble onto it. So keep this in mind: do you really want to know what you are metaphysically? If so really inquire into your true nature. Listen to the first few episodes but then there is a really good one called something like "self inquiry how to realize you are God". I'll find the title and send it to you. But bottom line is you have to really want to know what you are, even at the expense of your own life.

Schizophrenic races wiped away from existence by "Normy"Bussiness-minded Races. This is inspired by the last blog post from Leo about Schizofrenia. and about the dreamy people from the past being cast out from existence by the more bussiness-minded ones (materialistic). https://www.actualized.org/insights/what-its-like-to-have-schizophrenia The topic of Schizofrenia remind me about all the crazy mind blowing stuff I saw in visionary states of consciousness , all those faces,intertmingling in a vast field of imagery, nothing one could take hold on, dream stuff, infinite templates that, if one could organize it, in a coherent fashion it would not be so difficult to create a whole universe from it, wood patters,fur,glass,baby faces,woman,fire patterns,colouring pencils,gradients of shadow, smoke patterns, glossy structures...impossible to list all, I even saw splashes of blood running like rivers. So, in the last 6 years I saw a lot,on an on.. .material enough to create a virtual reality ( at least visualy speaking) . Many times for me it was like I was experiencing the mind of a Schizofrenic but instead of freaking out with it, being curious about it, contemplating it. nothing new for anyone who ready had visions on trips So back to Leo points Quote: " In other words, the reason humans are so materialistic, rational, and business-like by default is because all the humans with dreamy default states of consciousness were killed off by the business-minded ones. Consider the possibility that 2000 years ago all humans were much more dreamy by default than they are today. But war killed them off and selected for the most materialistic, rational, and business-minded ones. Which is to say, all the most spiritual humans were killed off long ago." -Leo Gura- Imagine what a war is for a normal person. Now imagine what war would be for a Schizofrenic. If you want to experience it, drink 2 glasses of ayahuasca and go to walk in a busy city. So,this post reminded me that I had this link below... comes from the book The Secret Doctrine by Madame Blavatsky http://www.freeinvestigators.com/wi/What-is-Root-Race.php Quote: "1st Root Race.The first root race did not have physical bodies, and their mind-principle was not functioning, hence were called AMšNASA, without mind. Manas, or mind, was only awakened in the third root race by the MšNASAPUTRAS" Question. The so called physical brain we have today is the same from million years ago? A change in the hardware dont affect a change in the software? If the structure evolves dont the function evolve as well? The truth is, I don't know, I just know that when I pump this thing here with enough enteogens the shit get very crazy, dream like crazy. We see in Egipt, Aztec and even Gaelic worldviews we see zoomorphic beings, all this ancestor describe their world like childen, and we are tempted to think they were doing that drawings just for allegoric reasons. What if schizofrenia was more acceptable those times? Well, I never saw it. I was not there, But I heard people in ceremomies saying that everyone in the room became animals. Some with Panther faces,Olws,Pigs...Go figure. To be honest I had never belived everything antropologists say. My question since young was: " Ok, these guys offer explanations of human evolution as far as the physical evidences allow them bones,tools,buildings..., but what about further away? When the traces of "physical " evidence disappear? When we research pre-historic populations we see that they were animistic. So, Just because is all a dream it dosent mean that dream cannot evolve. There was times I couldn't have to much control of my lucid dreaming, now I can navigate much better and be less afraid of it when it happens. And we dont need to go so far. Even last year hearing a old amazonian"pajé" ( Huni Kuin shaman) telling their cosmologic stories, I couldn't make sense of it. Was like he was talking dream language, no logic, no relation with anything you could call "scientific" the best one can make sense of their cosmovision is to categorize it as mytological or even science-fiction. This is of course just me open-minded speculating about it, so please dont come with questions of "proof" or "plausability" and so on. If Leo can become and Alien, what more can be possible? We just don't know. Or have someone here traveled to thousand years in history to see how humans were or how the gestalt of those were ? Anyway, for all of us there was time when as babies, we had no ideia we had a body or we were the owners of a body. When we study the evolution of man are we not actually studying the evolution of a dream?

Letting go of all those things, or not, the dream remains the same. The dream (reality) has to cease for one to be Awakened.

Agree with all the points except the last. I don't think we're ever meant to transcend but integrate spirituality into 'Self-Help' Personally don't believe meditating in the mountains is the height of existence (maybe for some personality types) Instead think the World needs more awakened / developed people in the thick of things & doing all of the bullets above I see that as the evolution of spirituality from being obscure to part of normal life (long way off)

@Breakingthewall ? This forum can get addictive. I awakened by never doing DMT or meditation. Maybe I m just born superior that is possible of course ???

It's not about what I think. I'm pretty ok with Leo's teaching style even though it took while for me to get onboard. When Leo says some of the shit he says, It puts people off the awakening path because they see a snarky bald dude saying he's god. It ruins the image of the nondual and spiritual community and psychedelics in general. This might be entertaining to you but when supposedly awakened people act like this, It may end up stunting the spiritual growth of humanity. Leo has a responsibility to set a good example for spirituality and consciousness work, otherwise this shit will always be seen as a cult and rejected by most. Also, I just realised you are probably either high or crazy so why did I waste my time replying xD.

OK. I appreciate Leo's poetic undertaking, although I still prefer the masterpieces of classical Advaita like Adavhuta Gita for example. Yet, to me it seems like it' s just mumbo-jumboing ourselves into the "oceanic state of oneness" with no clear explanations of why and how the Mind is dreaming what it is dreaming. Why is God is so smart to compute this dream with extremely mathematical precision down to the dreaming of the behavior of the subatomic particles, and yet it is so dumb to deceive itself to believe in the reality of the dream. Why is this so precisely mathematically designed dream is so full of stupidity, self-deception and suffering? "An illusion perfectly designed to allow you to forget for a second that you are God." - says the poem So why is God so stubbornly trying to fool itself into forgetting itself and identifying itself with figments of its own dream? And not just forget and wonder around in the dream, but suffer in that dream immensely and brutally without any way to stop the suffering? Why, after such realization of Oneness and Love, Leo is still suffering from digestive disorder and cannot stop it? Yeah, you can convince yourself to be masochistic and "love" pain and suffering without any ability to stop it. But would not it be easier to actually stop suffering, and even more, stop this entire insane self-deceptive cosmic dream, and just rest in formless state, or start dreaming something less nonsensical, less self-deceptive, bearing less suffering? God can perfectly know itself and still dream a world where it continues to know itself while playing with and enjoying infinite variety of forms with no suffering and self-deception whatsoever. But no, Infinite God cannot do it, it cannot control its own dream. Why? Leo perfectly answered this: "Somehow it all computes in the vastness of your mind." Exactly - "somehow". God has no clue how it computes its own dream and how to control it. God is indeed Absolute because it is Absolutely helpless and Absolutely clueless. Actually, there is a hypothesis to explain why: when God realized that he is completely alone for the whole eternity, there is nothing to do, nothing "outside" of him, nothing to reach to, noone to talk to, nothing to know, he experienced a psychotic breakdown and, to escape from the infinite and absolute terror of this loneliness and hopelessness, he went insane by starting a dream where he could forget the terror of that realization and by splitting into a vast number of personal perspectives (to escape from the experience of loneliness). He made this dream so that it would be very difficult to get back to that terrifying self-realization. He knew that this dream would entail a lot of suffering, but all that suffering would still be incomparably less that the infinite terror of that self-realization. Then he erased his memories and lost himself into a variety of personalities each believing in their own reality as a separate being. The God's plan for the dream was not to eventually restore the original Oneness, but to actually forever hide and self-deceive away from it. We were not supposed to get "awakened"!. Does it make any sense?