Search the Community

To put it simply: You're addicted. Addicted to bliss. A meditation junkie. Addiction to silence & meditation is a real thing, just like addiction to cocaine or porn. And just like the cocaine addict, it sounds like your life is falling apart in a similar fashion to any other addict. You probably had a very pleasant experience in meditation which got you hooked. Now you have to work to unaddict yourself to these states or else you'll never get anywhere, not even Enlightenment. Look up: Buddha on the mountaintop syndrome The truth is your desires will always cause you suffering. You don't want to be chasing bliss you're whole life, do you? Bliss works the opposite way of that anyway. Blissful states come as a result of letting go.

Story of my life The desire for bliss, relaxation, and peace is suffering. Let it go, and you'll have your bliss. Hint: you can't let it go, but you can pray for it to be taken.

@Mulky during an awakening, since you're not embodied anymore, and there is no phenomenon anymore, you don't suffer because you don't have to deal with an ego anymore. Even during that transformation back to your ego, you don't suffer. Instead, you fall into love (bliss) when you embody back into the ego -- both the body and our world (earth realm). Now apply this to life. How well are you going to apply this to life?

@thesmileyone can you differentiate between fire and the light it emanates? The nature of the self is silence peace bliss what ever.

But he died in absolute bliss and exstacy. You will never hear him complaining about omg I'm so sad. God please remove this cancer. No his body was infested with worms - he didn't care. He got cancer - he sat still in blissfulness. He could be burning on fire and still be at ultimate wellbeing inside because he had no identity with his body. In his experience it was not even happening to him. That's what I consider an enlightened Being. Martin is nowhere near such experience. He calls himself the god of the universe but he's complaining about mosquito bites. Edit: sorry i mixed the Maharshi with another indian advaita master who also had cancer.

Hello. So, this journey is interesting, although painful yet. One of the main points is, illness makes you feel like you are losing everything so you can be ready to disown your limiting ideas and get ready to things you would not have considered otherwise, and I don't mean it in a desperate way, like ''help me, I'll do everything!'', but more like, the reverse of this. Getting into your integrity to the highest extent, you also start to be more open to people and let your true self be seen easier, since death is closer, less is meant to be maintained, less self-image to be preserved. I've stumbled upon a book called ''Why people don't heal, and how they can - Caroline Miss'', and I consider, everyone having an illness would read this, and trust me, I've had a load of read to search for health yet, if you yourself are suffering from an illness, you should buy it, if you have a friend or family member suffering from illness, consider making a gift of it, they will benefit greatly. Caroline has been in the healing community for very long, and you can see through the book that she had a very genuine desire to make people get better, and so, questioned what everyone assumed was the right approach, and she got to core things that determined when someone was aligned with getting better or not, she also speaks about the chakras, if you never studied it, she is making it clear and don't elaborate too much, but says what is important, and make some links with other religions. I still have episodes of strong physical pain, and when I say strong, it's that there is not much way to do other things when it's there, sleeping included... I had an episode while with a friend, it's difficult to simply listen, but I say all that for a reason, what is the strength in this kind of situation, and I know, this might not be what we want to hear, is to remain in our integrity, to remain aligned, which means, not to go in despair, which is the main difficulty dealing with illness I think, or any heavy emotion. I've been surprised how I can remain aligned while in pain, which feels like I'm still in the place within me to live a full life, but on the physical level, am in pain, that felt weird to see that I could remain good emotionally with the degree of pain I've been in, and it feels good to know I'm able to do that, and that helps me remain aligned with healing, since negative emotions like despair, will make me neglect myself and go in addictions that I know. I keep on the physical wellness, I try different practices, some kundalini yoga, that I like, and tai chi a bit. If the condition that you're in allowing you to do something and take care of yourself, don't pass aside the opportunity, don't wait that you cannot, it really helps, body movement helps, eating well helps. This is tho not the main thing I believe, at least not for me. I believe the main thing is more holistic, and I've also come to understand that, it might be that, in a way that I don't understand, this pain might be here to bring forth my strength, which it does well. This is perhaps the aspect related to faith that this thing is here to help me, and I believe, I don't have to know if this is true or not, because the truth is, it keeps me aligned :). So my advice to anyone who is dealing with illness. - Don't make it the center of your life, keep on studying what inspires you, keep on doing things you love. (I don't mean to hide it, but try not to make it your ''identity'', but you can say that you are going through it, just don't use it to gain something from others by it, else you are saying subconsciously that you need this illness to get what you want. - know that the illness doesn't mean anything negative about you, the deeper the pain, the greater of a warrior and a deserve for honor and dignity, not the reverse learned by society saying ''the deeper the disability, the less value for work and money to make...'' - Keep doing your art as much as you can. - keep bringing positive changes to your lifestyle (perhaps even more) - Most important, keep growing as a being and align with more value within yourself, use this illness to help you, just as I'm doing, because if you succeed or not in the end doesn't matter, but what you'll remember is whether you've done all you could or not. May you be blessed with bliss, joy and fulfillment.

Sounds like worrying and ruminating. Spiritually speaking, everything is as it should be. Analyze the situation, learn what you want to do differently next time, keep the lesson in the back of your mind or visualize a better outcome, and stop thinking about what you did wrong. You're being too hard on yourself. Instead, be grateful you had the opportunity to learn about what you would like to change in yourself. It's awesome to make "mistakes"! I wrote a poem about this. It's in the self-actualization journal section, the title is "Bliss". My journal is called "Poems". You can meditate on that.

With previous successful experience of plugging 35mg's, I used the same method to now plug 45mg's expecting a medium strength trip. The set and setting were excellent, in a clean room feeling good and ready. After administration, I laid down comfortably on a prone position on my bed and waited: I had some initial fear after administration, but that fear subsided as I calmed down, the stinging in my butt became noticeable but the sensation was mild and very bearable. I started getting more aware of my body, and suddenly the stinging in my but got stronger for a couple of seconds, but then it subsided as I surrendered. The awareness gradually grew stronger and larger and with that arose certain sensations in my body, I started feeling more uncomfortable, my heart started beating faster and a lot of bizarre thoughts arose, thoughts of my inner voice screaming very loudly, thoughts of my body being impaled, etc. It felt like these thoughts came up in order to suppress the rising awareness, but as I surrendered into them, the grip of these sensations and thoughts got released and transcended. As the awareness spiked higher, I got aware of my whole body. But it felt like my body was becoming more "insignificant" as the awareness rose higher, almost like the growing awareness was this big field that permeated the sober and ordinary field of bodily awareness resulting in the body feeling smaller and smaller in contrast, almost like it was disappearing and becoming very distant. Because of this my heart started to pound faster and fear started coming up, a tingling sensation of mild terror washed over my back and disturbing thoughts were the only thoughts arising. As the awareness grew very large, I got aware of all the significant bodily sensations, of the fear of death, of all the thoughts and I surrendered into all of them and I didn't cling to anything. I surrendered all my worries of "my body not being safe" or "im too cold" or "my arms are falling asleep", as I kept surrendering, these thoughts became more and more distant and the body got further and further away as awareness kind of "took over", and this awareness felt pleasant, and every time I surrendered into a thought or a sensation, It felt like I transcended it, and trough this came a sense of joy and liberation and of being safe. As I intuited that the awareness was not getting any deeper, I chose to open my eyes and see how much time has passed since administration... 18 minutes, so I closed my eyes again and surrendered into more and more thoughts, I surrendered every sensation, everything that was thrown at me. At some point, I tried to do self-inquiry and there was nothing there! If I looked inwards there would just be the external reality there, nothing else, almost like I looked in and out at the same time. I tried doing the concentration technique that you do in Kriya, and instead of struggling to get aware of Medulla and Brumadhya at the same time like I would do when sober, now I could see Medulla, the third eye, what my eyes saw, all my bodily sensations and all the thoughts that arose all at once! I opened my eyes several times to check the time, and it went by very slowly, I had no choice but to keep surrendering into the awareness. If I would give in to the thoughts and sensation then I would suffer deeply, as the obvious purpose of the thoughts was for "me" to survive because they were very urgent and they depicted my old tempting habits, and if I would cling to and obey these thoughts then I would go full panic mode, as that was what the thoughts were pointing to at that point. At one point in the 30-minute mark, I started to shake my body, and it felt like it was shaking itself. first my right arm and then the left and then my legs. Doing this was actually very pleasant., and I got this urge to go into symmetry with my body, and while doing that the shaking became very enjoyable. I did this for about 2 minutes. After that, I spent 10 minutes lying down just staring at the beauty of what I saw; as I laid on the right side of my face it applied pressure to my closed right eye while my left eye was open, and this made the patterns that arose in the closed right eye apply to what I saw with my left eye (which was open), and I found it to be very beautiful (You can try this yourself) At the 45 minute mark, body load started to fade away and I slowly regained my energy, so I cleaned up the mess and filmed a short video to conclude the trip experience. The awareness was still there. Insights: I could have either clung to the thoughts and go full panic mode or I could just have surrendered. Let's say that a thought arises saying that I won't be able to experience the joy of passion ever again! Then I can either say "NOOO, I WANT TO LIVE!!!" thus cling to the thought of wanting to live because you want to experience the joy of passion, or you can let go of the thought, which entails that you accept that you won't experience the joy of passion ever again. The key in order to surrender is that you got to be able to surrender into any sensation and any thought, mainly the thoughts! As awareness grows, really, any sensation becomes bearable, but what makes it unbearable is if you cling to the thoughts that come up. What really helped me to surrender into the thoughts that came up was that I was ready to die and go beyond death: I didn't really care! Awareness is unimaginable. You can never relate to awareness trough thoughts, only through action. Thoughts are there to suppress awareness, thus they can never make you more aware! That is why you can't relate to "higher awareness experiences" because you're either aware or your not. Now after the trip, I can't really relate the actuality reality of the trip, but I do remember how it felt. And all of those memories create a model of "kind of how it was based on the sensations and thoughts I had at that moment" but the thing that's midding from those memories is awareness! These models consisting of thoughts depicting certain thoughts and emotions can never depict awareness itself because awareness is prior to all thoughts! Awareness is not a specific thing. In the awareness, I was left with this feeling of deep but mild joy and peace, almost like that peace was the awareness itself, and in those emotional terms awareness itself would equate to love and bliss! I guess that these emotions are always inside of us, but we just gotta get aware of them, and what makes us unaware of them is all the thoughts. Letting go of desire makes you happy. When I went on the comedown to play on my piano with the intent to express the joy of awareness through my improvisation, I actually couldn't press the first key, because the purpose of pressing that key would be to encapsulate what I wanted to express into a certain sound, but awareness couldn't be encapsulated! Anything I would play felt invalid as there would be no way for me to express awareness through the piano! Turquoise music is either silence or music that raises your awareness and consciousness. Aftermath: I felt very calm during the comedown of the experience, and I did contemplate going for a breakthrough dose right there, but that thought was just as compelling as the other thought of prolonging the breakthrough and instead integrate the experience. Both of the thoughts came from the same place. I ended up choosing not to go for a breakthrough dose at that moment, instead, I sat there marveling at how beautiful reality was! When you let go of all your desires, action steps and thoughts (because of the rise in awareness), then you can let yourself become aware of the beauty of reality! These insights are very valuable and I will try to integrate them as much as possible. Next time I will administer 55mg's the same way in the same set and setting.

Sounds like a fulfilIing life if you don't wanna explore the rabbit hole. Ignorance is bliss. The truth can hurt if your ego is not ready to accept it.

The ego is ignorance, that which do not know God and himself as God. Ultimately, there is no one to be ignorant, there is just ignorance. All I can say is that I am everything, I am literally Omnipotent, I can do whatever I want. I am God. I am this individual writing this, I am him. I am him entirely because there is Only I, but he is not I. I'm basking in Myself, in joy and bliss. Ignorance has ended, the ego character that I (God) am playing out has been seen. I am the ego, I am the person, I am the actor, I play out all characters. And I am beyond all of them, laughing at my own mastery.

@Cortex yes, you are. You are nothingness (no-self). Then, you transform into everythingness. From there you transform back into your ego. While this is taking place, you are at peace--no suffering at all. You're completely detached from what is occurring. You're complete and free (even while making such a transformation). When you go back to your physical ego and this physical world, you'll think that this experience is absolutely amazing! Oh wow! It's so massive being that infinite black hole and collapsing into myself! Because you felt a love (bliss) when you became embodied again--which indicate that you're in the to love realm--earth. However, even though it's amazing to the ego, it's really nothing. Later, if you look carefully, life itself (you) operates on the "principles" of an awakening. Yes, sometimes life may seem hard. You have to struggle to work. Some ppl really are in a "horrible" situation. But, "horrible" is an illusion and it's temporary. This is just a scarcity mindset. There is no distance between you and success. Your awakening points out that distance is an illusuion. Everything is temporary. There are always ways to learn to get out of it and go with the flow of life. Transformations in life are flows. Flow into love. You did that in your awakening. Learn to love yourself first and eventually others. Teach them how to live and love. When you mastered this, you become "enlightened." Beautiful life lessons from the deepest awakening that can be applied to living life to the fullest: Easier said than done. Sometimes we have to unlearn many things.

It is very true indeed, but when you cross the paranoia bridge, there you find pure bliss. And that is why it is so hard for some people (like me) to detach from chemically induced bliss. It is there available everyday, and it doesn't do as much harm as smoking cigarettes, drinking, or other kinds of escapism.

@TheAvatarState You're right. Don't create a vision. It is an illusion that can't ever be realized. You need to be content with just Being. Anything else will lead to suffering. Relationships, careers, attachment to family... let it all go, NOW, and surrender to the NOW. Isn't it much better to enjoy the bliss of Being even if you sit in a room looking at a wall all day, than living unconsciously in an illusion, believing that you feel/think/love, when really, you don't? Destroy your attachment to everything, including your sense of self.

Pursuing this will only set you up to fall. You do not need a relationship. It is impossible to form a relationship that is not based on an illusion. If you want to live within an illusion, press ahead. Otherwise forget it, and surrender to the infinite beauty and bliss of the nothingness of now.

@Jack River Of course there is awareness during sleep, as Spirit and Consciousness leaves your being. I am happy you have found peace. It is just a shame you are unable to enjoy the bliss within a dream.

@EvilAngel You do not need socks. If you think you do, that is your egoic perception. Cold is just a sensation, it is not real. It's an illusion. If you choose to fight the sensation, you are only pushing your development backwards. This applies to relationships and socialising too. Your egoic mind is telling you to pursue this for comfort. It will not work. Be happy being alone, doing nothing. Truly feel the bliss of just Being, with no attachments.

@Nahm Yes. Thoughts are a curse that only serve to block you from infinite bliss.

@cetus56 I never said I live off bread and water. I said it can be done. There is no need to desire foods the egoic mind would consider to be more 'pleasant' than others. I think you have a lot of growing to do, Cetus. I don't want to hijack this thread. The Truth remains, you must submit to the bliss within the nothingness of Being. Anything else is an illusion.

You are not submitting to the bliss of nothingness. While you still have thoughts, you are not Being.

@F A B Many when I was unconscious. Now, I have zero desire for a relationship. It is an illusion. This goes for any relationship, even with what you would call 'family' - which is another concept and illusion. I detached from those unconscious illusions a long time ago and I bask in the bliss of Being. Being can only be achieved in pure solitude.

I almost couldn't summon the energy or motivation to pick up my laptop and write this post. But here goes....I had an enlightenment experience 2 months ago, which was incredible, and for 10 days I was in a state of peace. I slept better than I had in ages and it was proper deep-sleep (no dreams) and I only needed a few hours and would wake up every day feeling refreshed. The enlightenment experience came after watching Leo's "Spiritual Enlightenment - The most shocking truth..." video. I felt I had cracked it, and that I was at one and that nothing could take this bliss away from me. I was so peaceful that I decided nothing mattered anymore, so I started smoking and drinking again, both of which I had abstained from for months. Things have gradually got worse and worse. I lost the peaceful feeling and now every day is filled with intense anxiety and depression (even suicidal thoughts). It's like I made a huge step forward (the enlightenment experience) and then gradually regressed, back to my old emotional/behavioural patterns. So these days I oversleep, and feel terrible about waking up...I just want to go back to sleep again rather than face a depressed/anxiety ridden day. When I do get up I often just want to drink alcohol to numb the pain and combat the intense loneliness. Today, "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle arrived through my door. I have read it several times before, and it certainly used to help me. But sometimes the present moment is full of suffering which has nothing to do with my mind - there is simply a feeling that exists that I can't seem to change, no matter how present I am. I know what you're all going to say, "just meditate" or "self inquire" and do the work. But sometimes I meditate for 3 hours straight and get no benefit. It's like I use up more energy by meditating than I would doing other daily activities, because the meditation is so uncomfortable. Anyways, I hope you can help me, but I'm not optimistic about it.

You would agree that, when you dream, you are your true Self? You have glimpsed the truth. Your dream is not an illusion created by your brain, what happened was more real than anything you ever thought you experienced, hence the peaceful nature of it all. Now you can turn experience this bliss forever, if you so choose. It can happen NOW. It requires doing NOTHING. Just being. Forget everything you ever knew or felt. Just be and submit to it all. Just sit in stillness. Experience just Being.

@nistake You can lose your ego this instant. You can experience the bliss of Being right now, if you want it. If you don't, that is your ego intervening. Chose. Bliss or illusion? I would suggest avoiding unconscious entities. Afterall, they are illusions. I would suggest quitting your job, too. Your job is feeding your identity of 'self', which is an illusion, which is keeping you from the bliss of Being. If you are content with Being, you will experience nothing but bliss. Cut everything out of your life and just Be. You can do this NOW.

Why are focused on other people acquiring knowledge? Your egoic mind is obsessed with doing something. You don't need anything to enjoy the pure bliss of Being. Just Be. Do nothing. Just Be.

@VictorB02 Why are you focused on acquiring knowledge? Your egoic mind is obsessed with doing something. You don't need anything to enjoy the pure bliss of Being. Just Be. Do nothing. Just Be.