non_nothing

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  1. Just a few notes for myself Okay I will let go of every thought or opinion that I held against anybody. I foresee this has tremendous power when one become nobody for others. If there to point out the best of best one sentence in your whole post that would be this.
  2. Okay I will look for it
  3. Either I don't get this, OR, the enlightened people is delusional. There's for sure something that FEELS. It is not really important who really I am, whether I am thoughts, I am my feelings that come and go. It doesn't matter. The real absolute truth is that I feel the sadness, whatever word you want to call it, thought or sadness, there's for sure something that I feel that is unpleasant, therefore It exists. If I slit a razor on any of enlightened person's skin, won't s/he feel it? It doesn't prove that they don't feel it if they don't react to it. React is something different. Tell me how and I evaluate It turned out that I had watched those already.. I will watch these again I tried it a lot of time but it doesn't seem to progress where I live. They're not genuine people.
  4. I cannot solve this for quite a long time. Cannot find a way out of this. Years and years I am unsatisfied and unhappy. Every other act turns out not working towards good. I have no desire to pursue anything. I am perfectly fine with death. I don't seem to find anything that I want from this life. Everything looks like delusion and illusion. Every person looks delusional to me.
  5. Good point. It is somewhat vague on my side. I am unsure about this, part of me feels it, part of me rejects it.
  6. Lol. You're looking at it
  7. I tried to living a life without any identity. This becomes so painful after literally taking non of any actions. Watching the life unfolds. But within my experience I have found this silly. The logical statement of push-pull and resistance sounds logical. But in practice, that I find is deeper than that. Or I couldn't find out a way of that even in the first place, who knows. These all tricky. > Wanna hear a real action that could produce massive results? Catchy, who wouldn't
  8. It is still EGO operates on the surface with the enlightened people. Every word and every human thought is simply a lie. Nothing is absolutely enlightened. It is that everyone have this or another lie of game that is on play with them. I am just here for this post to calm my mind a bit. Nothing more. It feels better for me when I write things down. Recently, I have been optimizing my life with questioning at ease.
  9. I was going to include that part also but I decided not. I am aware that still my EGO operates
  10. Ego is very difficult thing to be handled of. I have always thought that I was super aware and know the ways of EGO. But until up recently, I started to become more aware of how it is an harder enemy than I thought of. He's sneaky. When I got this, ..., When this goal, ..., When enlightenment, ..., When that, ... When bla bla, Because of the system, because of I don't have, ...., I already know that, ..., It never turns out to be, ... ETC ETC It is like a huge bulk of bullshit piled up. RESISTING to take real action. With this journal, I am hoping to set this up as a reminder towards how I lie myself. Plus I will note down the challenges and actions that I took towards my self-employment journey.
  11. What do you think? Does Muhammad intentionally lead his people to knowing the fact that was not the truth but wanted to make their lives better by a lie?
  12. @Eric H Have you ever considered so seriously that you have one life to live as "ERIC" If you are certain about death, why are you concerned about securing your way to death? Why insecurities? Isn't it more logical to instead spend your time wisely and be "ERIC" in this life time? There will be never an "ERIC" to live once again