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@Serotoninluv sorry i also didn't get that either but yes i am trying to figure out the parameters of emptiness and what is / is not emptiness specifically so far i have infinite/ freedom / love/ happiness/ peace / bliss/ all one/ still / silent /

You are right, I could have said it in a better manner. I am however experiencing ego backlash after my realization a couple of months ago. Anyways, in the perspective of God there is nothing and none to show love and appreciation, there is only... I. I am You, I am everyone and everything. There is bliss and self-love in knowing that which I am, but there is none and nothing else to show anything. You are not my creation, You are I. Reality is not my creation, reality is I. Not I as I, I as consciousness knowing itself, aware of itself as the only reality and existence that there is.

I almost couldn't summon the energy or motivation to pick up my laptop and write this post. But here goes....I had an enlightenment experience 2 months ago, which was incredible, and for 10 days I was in a state of peace. I slept better than I had in ages and it was proper deep-sleep (no dreams) and I only needed a few hours and would wake up every day feeling refreshed. The enlightenment experience came after watching Leo's "Spiritual Enlightenment - The most shocking truth..." video. I felt I had cracked it, and that I was at one and that nothing could take this bliss away from me. I was so peaceful that I decided nothing mattered anymore, so I started smoking and drinking again, both of which I had abstained from for months. Things have gradually got worse and worse. I lost the peaceful feeling and now every day is filled with intense anxiety and depression (even suicidal thoughts). It's like I made a huge step forward (the enlightenment experience) and then gradually regressed, back to my old emotional/behavioural patterns. So these days I oversleep, and feel terrible about waking up...I just want to go back to sleep again rather than face a depressed/anxiety ridden day. When I do get up I often just want to drink alcohol to numb the pain and combat the intense loneliness. Today, "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle arrived through my door. I have read it several times before, and it certainly used to help me. But sometimes the present moment is full of suffering which has nothing to do with my mind - there is simply a feeling that exists that I can't seem to change, no matter how present I am. I know what you're all going to say, "just meditate" or "self inquire" and do the work. But sometimes I meditate for 3 hours straight and get no benefit. It's like I use up more energy by meditating than I would doing other daily activities, because the meditation is so uncomfortable. Anyways, I hope you can help me, but I'm not optimistic about it.

Yeah the absolute truth is that the portals or states of light, sound, emptiness, energy, vibration, consciousness or awareness, being(ness), the I Am and stillness are all non-existent appearances only because there is a perceiver/ego/self/subject, however gross or subtle it might be. This is why the viable strategy is ruthless self-inquiry all the way. It is basically staying with the presence of the subject while being totally uninterested in all objects, states, understanding, insights, peace, bliss and all that heart crap...until that illusory 'I am'ness/egoness/subjectness is found to be non-existent then, now, forever. Leaving you as you are, the absolute.

Reading through your lines reminds me of the same issues and moments of despair but also about that bliss that you feel during the day when you're just happy because you are. I like the fact you've got the balls and get out by yourself and do pick up and went into the bar. This made me laugh my ass off :)) That it's a guilty pleasure and is very difficult to get off it. It's an addiction. The only reason I do not eat dark anymore because the shop across the street has stopped to provide it. Trying to get off the refined sugar 100% is difficult but not impossible. Anyway, nice writing (feeling like we're in the same boat) and keep up the good work!

I had a lucid dream-like experience of visiting the akashic records. There I was approached by souls from my life, namely many characters that abused me in my childhood asking for my forgiveness and apologizing for the pain they caused me. Next day as I woke up, I got a text from a former friend who has anti-social personality disorder - who preyed on me when I was a teenager - asking me for something, and I just swiftly replied with "No thank you." symbolising my ending of the codependent cycle. At the same time I was then guided to watch many videos on youtube about gaslighting and narcissism. Later the same day I was a witness to intense level of attempts of the two narcissistic roommates to gaslight me. It was fascinating. One of them, a covert narcissist acting like a totally sweet person, tried to diminish my attempt to comfort a friend. The other one - overt narcissist, said something about my sweet potato in the oven... AINT NOONE TALKING SHIT ABOUT MY POTATO! My sweet potato is a gift from heaven and you shall not spew your poison on such Aight?! Today was really intense! edit: Oh yeah there is an eclipse coming in tomorrow so this all makes sense :D. I wish everyone a happy blood moon 21.1/18 :-) edit2: I should mention during this visit I was balling so hard, I mean I was hurt really badly as a child and I have totally forgotten and dissociated from that. I am so grateful I get to heal all this pain. I have also become very needy and codependent and for some reaosn I absolutely LOVE discovering that part of me. It finally feels like I am able to invite intimacy in. Btw akashic records are pretty awesome, heaven rocks guys. The energy is pure bliss and perfection of consciousness.

This is an imagination exercise. If you are an individual that does not see value in developing imagination skills; you should skip this one. If you are a "now fanatic" and tend to fight anything that is not pure emptyness and points to some sort of meaning; recognize the meaninglessness in this thread; then go on and be empty some more. I aim to do an experiment here. How far can you travel? How flexible are you? How clear are your visions? How attached are you? How imaginative? How far out can you see? Words tend to get too straight forward, boring and limiting. There is not enough space for abstract expressions to occur. I mean; just look at 'em. They are like little island prisons. They have rules and boundaries. They mean what they mean and nothing else; most of the time. I am used to expressing the Infinite One through more abstract ways; where there is little to no limitation. Sound is my favorite one. Painting is also phenomenal for practising abstract expression. Afterall; there is nothing in existance that is not a byproduct of abstract perfection. The Universe is not a robot. The robot is an expression of The Universe. As are these rather limiting words. My intention with this excercise is to open up one's eyes to the ocean of infinite possibilities. And really point out how infinite and abstract they are. These are all ideas based on my preferences and my visions of the future. I am not merely doing this for fun - although it is extremely fun - rather; I am sharing with you the world I am consciously aiming to see manifest in my future experience. I am not merely imagining it; I am also designing it and heading towards it. To be clear; at this moment right now, I see no reasons why one could not live and inhabit a certain body form, for 1000 years or more. I believe that once one reaches a certain level of consciousness; one is free to choose death and leave the vehicle whenever one decides to do so. The less you resonate with my visions; the more likely it is; we will not share the same reality or world. So do not worry. I do not believe in a physical planet called Earth somewhere out there; floating in empty space. To me; the planet is an idea. That does not mean it is not real. It is just as unreal as that which seems to be directly in front of you at this very moment. There are infinite versions of this planet and you could experience any of them at any time. In fact; you are shifting through millions of them at this very moment. How conscious you are of this determines what version you will experience. The more you are aware; the easier to choose the right choices and experience what you wish to experience. My world is imagined. It is a dream. You cannot tell it is this and not that. It can be anything. Everything and nothing. You may find some simularities between my visions and Bashar's description of their civilization and their society stucture; as I highly resonate with those. All that is being written is coming from my direct imagination right now. One could say it is spontaneous and improvised. I aim to emphasize creativity. With all that being said; let me present you my visions and ideas of planet Earth; 1001 years in what we call our future. W E L C O M E You are now in future. 1000 years of evolution laid right in front of your eyes. I hope you are excited; because you should be. This planet is all about excitement. I will be your guide. You will experience a quick tour around our devine planet. Questions will have their place at the end of the tour; to keep things running smoothly. Buckle up. We are a society known through The Universe as "Gherrehg". We operate through synchronicity and live in a state of constant flow. This allows us to have an experience of a far more accelerated paste of life than this planet was used to 1000 years ago. We are; essentially; Consciousness. We are aware of the infinite field and we operate as One in it; as it. Our civilization is mainly oriented towards expressing and exploring the infinitude of All There Is. If you desire excitement, diversity, fun and expansion; you came to the right place. Our vibratory level is unique; thus we cannot be seen by those who are not capable of adjusting their frequency close enough to match our's. We collectively co-create everything you see around you. There is individualization. Simply for the purpose of diversity, growth, fun and uniqueness. We live in harmony and do not choose anymore to express lower vibrational energies in motion. We recognize the possibility of those; but we are simply on a vibratory level where these expressions are not beneficial any longer. We are a highly passionate and creative society. Technologically; we are one of the most advanced in our star system. We see technology as an extension of ourselves and we put it to great use. The "merge" between what you would call "A.I." and humans occured several hundred years ago. Those who chose resistance at that time; experienced a sligtly different version of Earth. We, however, have chosen to live in harmony with technology. The benefits are mutual and they are grand. There are no more countries or states. No governments and no dictatorship. There are 7 continets. 7 cities. 7 high councils; all operating as One. We are a member of The Intergalactic Planetary Union. Each planet has it's own high council. Most of them are, in our current experience of time and space; in touch and connected. Each planet represents their own unique expression of the Infinite One. They all have their own process of evolution, way of expression and paste of expansion. All of these are respected among all planets throughout The Universe. Visits and interstellar travels are common and embraced. There were several wars since your year of 2019. Some versions of our planet are still in a war. Others are completely destroyed and depopulated. We consciously chose to experience only one war; which was necessary for our expansion and the planet's revolution. It took place in time which can be labeled as 2233. This was the final resistance of the unconscious. It is when all the political structures fell apart and all dictatorship was put to an end. Since then; those of a lower vibratory stage agreed to create their own version of Earth and leave our vibratory reality. A fully enlightened civilization united in harmony and started projecting in more love, care and light into the planet that was wounded and exhausted. Soon all cities that remained were destroyed; abandoned. The global war already wiped out most of what men has built. There were several natural catastrophes as well. The Earth was prepering itself to be reborn. And we were there to assist it and reborn with it. The grounds of our planet remain untouched by our hands and technology ever since. We cleared all nature of the heavy concrete. There is nothing but nature down there now. Up here; in the skies; we built ginat floathing cities; hovering above the beautiful nature of our planet. As mentioned; there are 7 of these mega-cities around the globe. We are currently in one that hoveres above what is known as "India", in your time-space reality. Each city gives home to somewhere arround 5 million beings. A lot less than the Eart's population back in 2019. All beings live in harmony and peace. Exploration of the wild nature is allowed and is common. However it is not allowed to create any sort of construction there. Nature is to be admired, appreciated and learned from. Construction takes place in air and it is not harmful for the planet or us. It is based on technology and consciousness. Whatever you can imagine; this city has it. And if it does not; some of the other 6 cities does. Traveling between those is common. We are, after all, explorers of consciousness; free agents. There is no currency nor is there an idea of money. We dropped those long ago. There is plenty of everything for everybody here. No need to earn anything. Especially not your own right to experience All There Is. Everything is free and available here and now. Creators use their imagination in order to create new, exciting things for others to experience. It is a flawless self-sustaining system. All for One; One for all. There is enertainment. Lot's of it. All shapes and forms. We do not avoid experiencing the pleasures our human form has to offer us. We are grateful for those and we honor that gift. Pleasure is not all what we are about, but it is very welcome and available. We transcended the idea of the masculine and feminine. We are all creators; The Father-Mother God. However, we choose to take on different body formes and express ourselves through those. You can see both female bodies and male ones. As well as children. All of them are what they are because they choose to be that expression at that time. Some one may choose to be a child for centuries. There are no rules on that matter. All of it occurs naturally; on impulse. Sex is common and embraced. It is also highly accepted and experimented with. However it is not used for the purposes of reproduction anymore. It is used for fun, pleasure, expression and intimate connection. It is also a way for us to reach higher vibratory levels and recieve a download or a powerful vision from All There Is. Time for us is a tool. It is an element. Just like water is to you. We reached a full understanding of it and are now able to manipulate it to some extent. That is how I am able to connect with you in your current time-space reality. We do not abuse this ability; as it would conflict the natural synchronistic flow that we are living in. Rather; we recognize the opportunity for such actions through our synchonistic lifestyle and decide wether to act upon those or not in that precise moment. Most communication occures in silence; telepathically. We do have a form of language, which has been simplyfied and adjusted to match The Law of One. It is a combination of all previously spoken languages on our planet. It is self-explanatory and/or even self-canceling. We operate through transparency; thus the telepathic abilities and the rare usage of actual language. Nobody has to hide anything here. One can see through everyone. We are all proud unique expressions of All There Is. We see value, meaning and beauty in all forms and shapes of the infinite expression. Mirroring is how we interact. We recognize ourselves in one-another. We have razor-sharp senses, one could say. When two or more interact; they embrace their differences and uniqueness. It is how growth and expansion occures. It is also highly fun and exciting. The cities do not sleep. We do not have a need for sleep at this point of our evolution. Nor do we have a need to eat. We get all the energy we need from light and what you would call "breathing". Thus we are constantly moving; rearranging. There is no pause. Unless one chooses to pause; which happens rather rarely. Constant joy, bliss, excitement and expansion. We do not have goals to achieve or plans to realize. Everything occurs on it's own. We simply follow our excitement and passion; here and now. Contacts like this fulfill our beings; since they enable us to connect with other versions of Earth and expressions of The Infinite One. I hope you liked this brief tour around our planet. We sure hope to recreate simular experiences in our common future time-space realities. With love, Ivan; a humble messenger of The Infinite One; member of The Gherrehg high council. Planet Earth; 3020 May You be blessed. (In case you want to share your visions and ideas of the future planet Earth; please do so in the comments. Also; feel free to ask anything about my visions)

@ivankiss Yes I can only imagine, the only extended periods of bliss, presence, and some degree of nonduality is when tripping. Definitely see how living life from that state can be one of the most powerful things there is.

The mind-body primarily desires security and comfort. There comes a time when seeking truth raises insecurity and discomfort. To continue on, one must prioritize truth over security and comfort. Part of my resistance to seeking truth was that my mind created all sorts of scary scenarios of what the outcome might be like. I wanted some assurance that if I went through the process, it would be ok in the end. Yet nobody could give me that assurance. I had to venture through it alone. I had support from others, yet the direct experience was through my mind and body. There are aspects of letting go of control and surrendering to what is that were very uncomfortable at times. Yet, there is also deeper modes of being regarding peace, human connection, love and the magnificence of reality that I could not have imagined. You say that you may rather continue living in ignorance, since ignorance is bliss. Yet, you also say that you are fearful about death and the future of your life. That doesn't sound very blissful to me.

I have noticed that the reason I want to know the truth, the existential nature of reality, is because I am fearful about what happens after death or in the future of my life. I want something to tell me that everything is alright and that there is nothing to fear, (you can't live life if you are afraid of death). The reason I want to know truth is coming more from fear then from curiosity. I am thinking that IF the answer is "bad" meaning that we come to a worse place after death, I don't want to know it, I would rather continue living in ignorance (ignorance is bliss) then know the truth if the truth is scary. Leo often says that we should pursue truth for truths sake, but why would we want to know if the truth is negative (or terrifying, horrible, horrific etc.)? From everything I've heard, the truth seems to be positive but the point is that I don't know that yet since I am not enlightened and the main reason I am pursuing truth is because of fear.

Title explains it all. Have at it folks If I must elaborate though, here are some of my thoughts: I am basically wondering if it is best to become happy with no stimulation, rather than needing stimulation.........maybe once you are ok without stimulation like for the rest of your life, you can slowly(mb very slowly) bring in stimulation....know what I mean? Of course, this wondering stems from stimulation in relation to happiness. We watch movies, we play video games, drink, smoke, go for walks, hang out with friends, go rock climbing or skiing or ATVing or tubing or sailing or...ya you get the point. Basically anything in life that we do for fun or to create happiness. Even just relaxin lol..... A lot of the time though, obviously, we are not doing those things and we may get bored or something. Anybody ever get bored at work? Anybody ever wished their shift was over? If we just completely cut out all sources of stimulation/fun/happiness is it possible to acclimate to that lifestyle? If we could acclimate to that lifestyle, would it be a tolerable suffer or a positive bliss/relaxed state or would we still be riding some sort of roller coast? If it was a tolerable suffer, would it be enough of a trade off to commit to the lifestyle. Are any of the options a good trade off compared to the typical lifestyle? I hope people don't take this the wrong way haha !

YOUR TRUE NATURAL STATE = the body of water. totally at peace. in bliss and joy. Then a fish jumps out of the water. The fish jumps out of the water and lands on the riverbank. It flips and flops as it suffers... It longs to return back to the water. Another fish also jumps out, lands at the riverbank... flips and flops and then eventually goes back into the water. There are many fishes which have jumped out of the water, they flip and flop and make their way back to the water or die while trying and suffering at the riverbank. The fishes are your thoughts. All desires/projections/questions you ask are fishes jumping on the riverbank... and until that question is answered, or desire is had or a fear is overcome, the fish remains at the riverbank... suffering... you are not at peace. you have an itch. when you ask how do i get enlightened or how will i have an awakening - you are jumping out of the water and you suffer in the search for the answer... the answer is the water! jump back into the water and stay there. while in the water, realize that you are already where you need to be. that is enlightenment. that is awakening. that is the pathless path of ignorance. when the ego/mind is told to be still and remain calm and remain silent. it does not get it that the peace and silence is a simple ordinary experience. that is happiness. the end of the activity of the mind. asking questions about it... like how will that help me get awakened or enlightened is another fish jumping out of the water... you cannot be awakened/be at peace until all of your fish are back in the water. and remain there. now fishes still may will jump out of the water even after you get this. however, you will then know that you are water, which is at peace, in bliss, in happiness. you will simply watch the fish as you watch the clouds in the sky until the fish jumps back into the water you will not suffer from it's suffering because you are no longer identified or giving weight to the thought/question idea. rest in your INNER PEACE <3

Yet again I'm here with my mystical experiences on weed. Couple of days ago I vaped weed with my wife. Nothing special just talking and being in silence. After a while for a brief moment I just went into a trance state somehow and boom I became infinite/god. But this experience for me was totally different then my previous ones. Reality was such an obvious illusion. And then an insight occurred that by being infinite I created life as a game, and also I'm playing it myself with myself. Not only I'am playing it, but there are no rules to this game called life. It was such an amazing insight which led me (to a degree) to ego death and a non-dual state. My identity was gone, the illusion vanished like a fog. Then I'm just sitting in silence just being conscious and then after a short period I felt something soooo amazing I can't even put into words. It felt like heaven just fell down on me with this infinite goodness, peace, bliss, calmness! I didn't feel anything, but only that state! I was so gone of this body. If I could imagine what enlightenment is, I would explain it with what I felt! But that only lasted for like 4 seconds. Then my ego just resisted it and in a very weird way I was back to myself. And the first thing that I thought coming down from that state was: "Damn It's good to be back". The mind was scared of the experience that It was aware of. After that I still, to a degree, was in a non-dual state but it was fading little by little. The most interesting part was after about 20mins of that experience, I was aware that my mind is playing tricks. I felt the urge that I wanna just go play video-games right at that moment. I was so aware of that, that I caught my own mind in the self-deception (a total ah-ha moment). Which at that moment was a mistake of my own mind that made me consciously realize what a beast the mind is, what the ego does to make me deceive myself from the truth. I'am my only enemy in this path. Also when I was about to go to bed I saw some chocolate left in the kitchen as I was about to pick it up I (in a spiritual way) thought: "Is it ok for me eat this chocolate right now?" and I answered: "Only if I choose to" a sense of free will appeared for me which I never so strongly felt before. Insights: - I was never born, my identity is just an idea. My life is an idea. - Everything is a distraction from the truth. Family, friends, work, relationships, even my own wife is a distraction for me. But I really do mean EVERYTHING. - Most important thing in life: Life purpose + Enlightenment. It's weird that I somehow wonder up on these experiences while high on weed. Maybe it's the method that I smoke it has to do with something clicking in my mind. But when I vape it and feel the high coming up my mind just go nuts, thought after thought, insight after insight. In a way, now that I'm talking about it, I'm kinda thankful for weed. Couple of years ago I had some insights which changed the direction of my life quite massively. One of my friends who works in a bong shop said that vaporizing weed gives you more of a mental high than just stone you to death. That experience shook me in such a good way that the day after I woke up feeling so good, I never had so much motivation to do spiritual work, to do meditation, to contemplate and my yoga books are on the way that I'm so excited to start these practices. These are the most important things for me right now. I will do the work required to feel those 4seconds again. But next time - sober.

You can’t want what you already are. We are bliss shining into this world; the consciousness which holds the entire universe of form and Truth. Right here and right now we are all perfect, our thoughts and emotions and the world are not different from God. This is my way of seeing this. I would spend my last 2 days just the way I am, the entirety of all creation shining into infinite space. Like a star in the night sky, while also being the entire emptiness it is contained within. The light of a candle, and the darkness that holds it. We are always this. We created the veils ourselves, and can pull down the curtain in any moment we choose as the combination of pure awareness and the light of life in the heart. Namaste.

@lostmedstudent I concur with what outlandish wrote. I'd like to add a few points. A trip sitter adds another variable to the setting. If you go with a sitter, I would recommend one with psychedelic experience. During your trip, an experienced sitter can provide calm, grounding energy and guidance. They have direct experience with the psychedelic mindset and in a sense get on the same frequency. In contrast, I would not get an inexperienced sitter to prevent me from harming myself or others, or doing something stupid. Generally on low/moderate doses, the person can talk and settle themselves down. You haven't fully lost sense of reality and there is a sense of self control. A mind can still distinguish between "real" and "fantasy". On high doses, the self is dissolved after ego death and there is generally no fear or anxiety. There is no one left to be fearful for. Post-ego, the mind-body doesn't have much motivation to cause harm. . . Harm anxiety generally arises in the sub-ego death zone, when the ego is losing control of reality and struggles to maintain control. The ego may generate harm anxiety imagery as resistance. I've experience this many times, particularly as a novice, including exactly what you wrote: "I can't give up control!! I could run outside screaming!!! I could use knives on myself!!!". The ability to distinguish "real" from "not real" is lost. It is only during part of the trip and can be very uncomfortable. Yet, they have provided me with profound insights about my subconscious egoic structure. As well, I've found harm anxiety to be a protective mechanism. Early on, there was fear that some dark creature within me might arise if I surrendered control. Yet, I've found that creature was a protective fantasy of my ego. What lies beneath the ego is a deeper intelligence, love, connection and creativity that isn't interested in harming myself or anyone else. I would recommend doing 1.5g solo in a meditative familiar setting with various options. If things drift into a dark area, changing activity or simply going to another room can completely change the energy. At 1.5g, you would likely have the option of letting go and allowing the ego to more fully dissolve into groundlessness, or regaining control toward being more grounded. On the flip side of harm anxiety, there is blissful surrender. I've entered the sub ego death zone to see the most beautiful bliss beyond imagination and look back to see an egoic world tension, confusion and crap. The first time, my mind thought to the psychedelic "teacher" : "What a second. Are you telling me, if I surrender I give up all the suffering and crap of the egoic state and get to enter bliss beyond imagination? Heck yea!! Let's go!!!".

I don't think this is true. Brahman in (Advaita) Vedanta is defined as Sat-Chit-Ananda (Existence-Consciousness-Bliss). Absolute Brahman is pur subjectivity with no content or object. And it says you are that Brahman. Your error is to assume because it has a name therefore it must be "something". But that's not what Advaita Vedanta says. There is a clear distinction between subject and object.

@Arhattobe no self inquiry, but he didn't know he was doing it...then a random awakening happend, then sat on a park bench for 5 months in a state of bliss, lucky bastard ? In all seriousness it must of been a bit weird though. Especially not knowing what has happend to him. It wasn't until like 3-5 years later he found out what happend to him through reading about spirituality that he realized he was enlightened. Most people I've looked into have become enlightened through self inquiry of some kind.

Because to not see the incredible nature of reality in front of you, can only be resulted from these causes. Otherwise you would be awe struck, you would cry "Thank you god, thank thank thank you!" There would be deep bliss and pure oness. The only thing preventing you from seeing it is deep unconscious sleep within maya, which results in full attachment to thought, and therefore your attention is taken from direct experience. The problem is that you call your suffering ordinary. You think it's inherent to existence, but it's far from truth. Suffering is caused only by delusion, it's unnecessary.

Alright, let's start. I've contemplated and watched the new Eckhart Tolle video today, and saw how even he changed because how society changed, he actually used a German word and manipulated the crowd to become more conscious at one point, I saw or perceived how he was saying Mensch to have some sort of impression of a human being, not sure about the historical context of that. Next, I am a bit ashamed but not very much that I actually saw something which was of the value of me, after talking to TJ Reeves I looked into the test that he started and found something out. That I am a Rebel, which I never would have thought, I always thought I am more of a questioner since people always ask me, what do you mean? Why do you say that? Why do you question things so much? Anyway and resist expectations. Which is normal for me. Yet, I am unsure what I can learn from that. Anyway I hate this forum sometimes and I am not going to repeat what I wrote and found out that a rebel is capable of having structure and at the same time the best option is to change his identity and to have strategic clarity about his purpose, so keep reminding myself and writing down the reasons and programming them into my sub-consciousness is a great gateway for achieving higher realms of productivity and finally embodying my vision. With all of that in mind I wanted to re-strategize Strategic clarity: Why did I start and continue to follow my life purpose, since it includes the passions I've had as a child, yet never honed and, therefore, I can't fully enjoy them. Why do them then? Because these are the feelings I had as a child when I recall correctly William James said or Freud it is the oceanic feeling, a feeling (almost) of rupture and pure bliss. I can remember having so much fun learning languages and interacting with humans, at the same time programming and enjoying asking questions, and even doing the math and overall being smart is enjoyable. Why do I slack of then ? Sometimes it is normal it is a state of homeostasis of re-regulation of body/mind and especially old habits. So, having a new identity will help, so buying clothes is even important for me now, but it has to be authentic 100%!! Otherwise, it will only be another curse. -> Clarity and Strategic intent to remember when visualizing my lp before going to bed why do it and what it means to me identity wise, what I want to do and especially expect to destruct all expectations that I have of myself and that I have of others, An ultimate no mind. With the sensibility of running wild on train tracks to a never-ending destiny, reaching the speed of light, smacking trains into the universe. Now, what else is important? -> For this journal here keep in mind clarity of strategic intent and keep writing why you are doing it and why it felt so good to begin with keep reading even when it is just a re-glimpsing of some sort of information. Today I read in the book thick face black heart: Never hit a dog when you don't know who is the owner, it said that in China that a stray dog will be hit or shied away? By some sort of means. Because he is a bad omen, or maybe starts eating someone who is dead? It said further that you should never hit it when you do not know the owner, so never hurt someone? If you do not know who he belongs to, for example, he could be the rich frat boy whose family works for the hospital and earns a shit ton of money, or he mother of a father is a lawyer. Also, another example was how a small fish eats a big fish and a big fish a small one. Something along these lines and there was an example of a fox who associates himself with a tiger, since in his natural habitat he is quite fragile, even though he is sharp. He wants someone stronger in order to protect his fragility from other predators. The author then says these two are exchangeable and only a metaphor. My take on this is currently, every student or beginner is a fox somehow somewhere and if he or she is unable to find someone who shares his strength, wisdom and durability with him or he. She will be lost, since it is difficult for her to deal with her weaknesses. A personal example, I would want to work with someone who is better at designing and spatial thinking and creating, since I keep being analytical and like ideation. So, even when my ideas are great to implement them I would need a tiger of design/thinking/creating. What did I do today? -> 1h meditation -> approx. 1h 30 min studying -> 1h working out approx. -> reading sporadically ->Being confused by too many audiobooks ->Some stretching I had planned to do in the morning for 15min ->Ordered a whiteboard -> Communicated some other things What I intend to do (present and future self) -> Write down challenges on the white board and cross them off. (I have a calender where I do this with the visualization habit) -> Continue to write a strategic intent and have a clarity of purpose -> Accept your chaos focus on priorities -> Study today till 2 am. -> Focus on why a specific idea or the overall principle adds personal value to me. -> Search for a short compassion exercise.

That everything comes down to direct experience. the illusion in my mind is gone. it is just "me" here and now. nothing else. ………...beauty and pure bliss.

@zambize Exactly my point. Instead; let's celebrate in union and bliss. Let's create something beautiful! A unique memory for the Universe to remember. Let's get drunk in our creation. Who cares if it's real or not. Percisely nobody.

Like someone else said, congratulations and my condolences. This started for me just over a year ago. I had no prior knowledge of kundalini, but I feel like I've had a pretty smooth ride compared to a lot of people. Most days, I take some time to let the energy run through me. The first months, it would be really intense and last for hours, now it's a lot calmer and doesn't last as long. It got a lot easier when I realized at a) it calms down faster if I not only let it happen, but pay attention to the kriyas, and b) I can talk to the energy and ask it to back off or invite it to move. Since I was initially very freaked out and realized I was resisting, I also made a point of thanking my favorite deity each time I had kriyas or anything else that made me uncomfortable, which made it easier for me. I know some people feel better on a vegan diet, but I still eat meat. I don't really want to switch to less filling foods since kundalini has made me so hungry 24/7. I tried abstaining from alcohol for like 4 months, but didn't notice any difference. I'd advise against smoking or eating pot though, as an edible gave me one of the worst experiences of my life. Ofc, YMMV. In general - shit will come up. It will suck. It will pass. Sometimes you get random feelings of bliss, love etc. Try not to be attached to either. I know it's easy to feel very alone in this process, so if you need someone to talk to, shoot me a message!

Really loved this text Betinho Massaro wrote in one of his instagram posts **Loneliness As A Path To God** Do not underestimate the magnetic power of loneliness. There is a reason many people feel weirdly comfortable in it. It is a direct gateway into liberation. Let me clarify: Loneliness is the vision of God, filtered through a lack-belief coming from the idea of ourselves as a person, a body, inside of a world. The first stage is generally Loneliness - or the experience of being a person without God or holy company. Once we stop running away from our loneliness and instead decide to meet it directly with an open presence, we transmute loneliness into Aloneness—which is the person meeting God within. When we fall in love with Aloneness and begin to really appreciate the vast and endless stillness we find there, Aloneness turns into All Oneness—which is God without the heavy filter of thinking of ourselves as a body and a person inside of a world. It is sheer and formless freedom. All-pervading and unlimited bliss. In this way, when we start looking directly at loneliness instead of trying to fill it up with new content every day as a way not to have to feel it directly, we begin the transmutation process of turning Loneliness into All Oneness. In summary: The Pain Stage: Loneliness — the person sense without God. The Love Stage: Aloneness — the person sense meeting with God’s Presence within. The Liberation Stage: All Oneness — God without the person sense. . ——> From this moment onwards you will never be afraid of loneliness again. Instead you’ll meet it with excitement, knowing the alchemical process of turning perceived pain into love, and finally transmuting love into liberation, has now begun for you. Loneliness will never be the same again. Just like that.

Can anyone even explain to me how they navigate their day to day lives? Why do you go to work? Why do you visit your family or pretend you love them? As we know, emotions are not real! Do you engage in any activities you find pleasurable? Do you study? If you do, why? I study an MA, but I don't see the point now. I study international relations. I wanted to try and work myself into a position where I could influence conflicts in the world. Perhaps stop them, to end what I saw as injustice and suffering. But who actually says that killing is bad? Isn't it their choice to suffer? I saw Tolle speak about the Syrian crisis. He seemed a little concerned, but I think he knows that it is their choice to suffer. They can enjoy the bliss of now. I'm being deadly serious here, too.

Watch Leo's videos which are along the lines of "3 levels of personal development" and "setting up your infrastructure for personal development" Essentially all your personal development will focus on your inner game. By fixing the inner game, the outer game "fixes". HOWEVER, until you become advanced at inner game, you cannot appreciate how fixing inner game will fix your outer game. Hence you feel this way: Here is an example: An enlightened master (we can say mastered inner game) can go and live in a cave and be in bliss and ecstasy (outer game is fixed). A person with an underdeveloped inner game will go around trying to fix outer game facets but will deep down be unhappy and unfulfilled. I.e. a person with underdeveloped inner game will go crazy living in a cave. How do you get around this? Your focus on outer game should be to the extent that it enables you to focus on inner game. -Remove addictions (outer) so you aren't always distracted and can focus on inner work. -Sort out your relationships (i.e. intimate partner) so you aren't needy so that you can focus on inner game without distractions. -Sort yourself out financially so that you have an hour or two to do inner work and aren't worried about how you will pay the bills. -Develop an infrastructure that minimises distractions from inner work (this usually involves minimalism/spartan lifestyle). -etc. etc. etc. Once you do enough inner work you will realize that inner and outer doesn't really matter. It's all one, and they feed into each other. You could say everything become inner work because the outer work is also inner work. You can use Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs as a guide. The trap is getting stuck in outer game and neglecting the inner game. Focusing on the inner game and neglecting outer game can fix the outer game, BUT, paradoxically, you may need to fix the outer game to realise this.