Search the Community

Okay, this is going to be tough to share as I feel like what I’m about to delve into has a chance of being brushed off (even on a very open-minded forum such as this). Leo, I watched your videos on Absolute Infinity, including the two-parter and your own experience of It. Let me say that you’re the first person I’ve heard discuss the actual existential nature of Absolute Infinity and I loved your summary of it. I’ve had my own experiences of Absolute Infinity and your description was perfectly consistent with mine (minus a few compartmentalized terms which I’ll explain in a minute). I’ll start with these experiences of mine. However, it’s technically incorrect for me to say experiences (plural) because it’s One Absolutely Infinite Experience that I have continuously (even right now as I type). Yes, I have these experiences while I’m sober. Even the first time that I ever experienced It was without any sort of psychedelic or outside aid. Absolute Infinity, as Leo has described, encompasses Absolutely Anything and Everything, which is literally an endless amount of things. Anything that you could ever imagine exists within Absolute Infinity. Even things that defy the laws of physics, nature, biology, and chemistry that pertain to this particular Cosmos. In other words, the Laws of Science are arbitrary when put up against Infinity. However, there are Laws that are necessary and objective throughout all of existence. These are the Laws of Logic and mathematics. For example, nowhere in Absolute Infinity will 2 + 2 = anything other than 4. Cartoon Physics and “fictional” characters? Yes. Defiance of mathematical logic? No. Now I realize this makes it sound as though I’m limiting Infinity (with logic). Logic isn’t actually a limit though. To understand why, try to imagine something that defies logic. Like... a square circle. Go ahead and imagine a square circle for me right now. You can’t do it, right? Now, Try to imagine placing 2 objects besides 2 other objects and having 5 of them there (without the 5th one suddenly appearing). You can’t do that either. My point being that, imagination can’t grasp the illogical. To that, you may say, “Okay, well the human imagination can never grasp Absolute Infinity on its own either.” Well here’s the thing, I’m not just talking about the human mind and imagination. I’m talking about Imagination itself. Not even Mind itself (Absolute Infinite Consciousness) can ever grasp the illogical. If illogical things can never even be created in the imagination, then we can’t really call them things. They are Nothings. With that said, the idea of Absolute Infinity not including the illogical doesn’t limit It in any way. This is because, by not including the illogical, Absolute Infinity is excluding Nothing (the illogical no-things). Yet, that is the literal definition of infinity. To be infinite means to be limitless and to be limitless means to be limited by Nothing. And illogical objects are nothing. So Nothing is outside of Absolute Infinity and Nothing is illogical. Now Leo, I remember that in your videos, you said that Absolute Infinity includes everything AND nothing. However, what you were referring to as ‘nothing’ is not the same as what I’m referring to as Nothing right now. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I feel that, what you were referring to as ‘nothing’ are the states of potential existence within Absolute Infinity. In other words, you would only define the Statue of David as a thing if it were carved out of the sand (correct me if that’s misrepresentative of your words). But here’s where my definitions differ from what I believe to be your’s. If you do define ‘nothing’ as that potential state, well then I wouldn’t call that Nothingness. I would call that Anythingness because it’s a state where anything has the potential to exist (except Nothing cause that’s not a thing). So let me finally get to my definition of Nothingness. This is where I feel a chance of being called ‘insane.’ As I’ve already said, Nothing is outside of Absolute Infinity. Now, this Nothingness is not simply a black empty void. Voids have empty space and space is still a thing. As such, of course there are empty voids that exist within Absolute Infinity. I’ve seen so myself. What I’m referring to as this Nothingness outside of Absolute Infinity is some”thing” that can truly never be imagined. Not even as Absolute Infinity Itself. Here’s my definition of it. These descriptions will sound very very semantical, but I promise they are aligned correctly since I’m referring to literal and Absolute Nothingness. Nothing is larger than Absolute Infinity Yet, Nothing is smaller than Absolute infinitesimal (infinitely small) Nothing is the ground of a groundless thing, and therefore, Nothing is the ground of Infinity and Infinite Existence. Nothing can reach the end of Absolute Infinity Nothing IS the end of Absolute Infinity and Nothing is beyond Absolute Infinity. Nothing has no space and no space is smaller than infinitesimal space. Yet, no space is also larger than an infinite expanse of space. Nothing is brighter than Infinitely bright Yet, Nothing is darker than Infinite darkness Nothing has no temperature and no temperature is hotter than Infinite Heat. Yet, no temperature is also colder than infinitesimal heat. Also, no temperature is more moderate than the most moderate temperature. Nothing is more like you than you yourself. Nothing is more equal to 1 than 1 So there you have a sampling of what I’m referring to. Yes, it’s very semantical, I know. But this is what’s beyond Absolute Infinity. It’s Absolute Nothingness. It’s the literal “embodiment” of impossibility and it’s impossible to ever experience, because experience, is itself, a thing. Also, you need awareness to experience, which requires consciousness. Those are things as well and Nothingness is none of those things. It’s No-thing whatsoever. Rather than having an experience of Nothingness, it would be a non-experience. This is how I have been able to “experience” Nothingness. I’ve not only found a way to tap into the experience of Absolute Infinity, but also, a way to have no experience at all. You can’t experience the impossible but that means you can Non-experience it. Leo, this is the first “thing” that I’ve “discovered” beyond Absolute Infinity. You said in your videos that experience of Absolute Infinity is the deepest realization you can ever have (as a human). Well I’ve “found” these ways to shed off my humanity and even go beyond Mind itself. This has led me to radically deeper and vaster “insights” than Absolute Infinity. I’m “having” these “insights” as I type. Leo, I realize you’re a very busy man, but I’d like to share these further “insights” with you. Infinity is only the beginning. No... not even that.

I'll start off with "The Mirror Exercise". It's something I've came up with not a long ago. What do you do? Stand in front of a mirror; right before going to bed or early in the morning when you are feeling the most honest about yourself. Stare into the mirror for 15 minutes, thoughtless. That's it! What I found was surprising. I gazed into the eyes of the human being on the other side, then I focused on the whole picture, then on the eyes again. And suddenly, the barrier between the two melted. My face disappeared in a way that I could not tell the difference between its surroundings and it. Results: I realized where my life purpose lies. As inspiration for the others here, I would like to share it. It is: To feel as one with The Universe. ... and show people the beauty through art. Long before this I started working on an adventure book mainly for youngsters of my age (15-18). It's a story of a mountain pass, and beneath the mountains lies what I literally called Nothingness. Two dragon brothers once stepped in and forgot who they were. The book is meant to make the reader more open-minded by the time they finish reading it - while keeping it all subtle and hidden behind metaphors and typical fantasy book elements. I also started to learn photography. I've been looking for a job for the past 6 months, but didn't find any (I live in the Czech republic). There's literally nothing within a 40 km radius during the school year; that's why I can't afford a digital camera, but at least I can learn the theory. If you've got one spare, I wouldn't mind, haha. I'm serious. Go try the mirror exercise and see for yourself. It might not work for you, but it certainly did for me. See you all in another life!

Like all questions about the experience of the enlightened one, it cannot be answered. Yes and no, in other words, or rather neither yes nor no. Well, it's some sort of a glimpse. But the real thing is not that which can come and go. Any experience which comes -- like yours did -- and then leaves -- is not the final thing. Indeed, enlightenment is not an experience at all, of voidness or nothingness or otherwise. I was always a vegetarian. For the other three, no. Felt no need. No need to avoid these things, but for certain people it can be helpful. The question is whether it increases mental peace to abstain or not. That must be determined on a case-by-case basis. It's fair to say that enlightenment is the realization that there is no waking state and no one to become lucid in it.

@QandC The ultimate perspective is that there is no such thing as holding a perspective and that by in of itself, all perspectives are actually truth. No matter what perspective you look at it holds a curnell of truth. I THINK what your trying to say is that you want the whole perspective to be 100% and not like only 2% or 3% if this is the case you will literally be saying cliches to people nothingness infinity oneness etc... yes or no ?

I feel like this might be an issue for many. It may as well be the reason why those who are enlightened, metaphorically speaking, are unable to leave the concept of enlightenment and nothingness behind. This is where purpose comes in. This is where passion takes over. Creativity. Meaning. Connection. Expansion. Expression. Love. This is the birth of The Creator. The end of victimhood. The recognition of will. It is living in the here and now. It is following your excitement without questioning a thing. It is the ultimate fulfillment. It is that which gives meaning to the meaningless. While seeking, achieving this should be one's highest motive. You did not start walking this path to run in circles. You started it to wake up to your totality. To become it. Not to be stuck on philosophizing about being it. You are the master. Show it. Express it uniquelly. Don't use limitations in order to describe your infinitude. Be infinite here and now. Play the game of being human. Do it in a most loving and accepting way. Respect this journey. You did not create it to spit on it once you become aware of it. Do not deny the sleep. Simply be awake; now that you've awakened. Love.

Everyone is at different stages and "what is" or GOD shines through the lens of our belief systems differently for everyone. Detachment is a strong lesson to learn, take one sniff of the implications of that can get you far. My understanding is..All that LOVE is, is pure acceptance. Willfull participation with what is. Integrating our shadows is a game we can play on this plane but on another level it isn't happening at all. And this is where I, or my ego loses understanding. Because for all of my positioning in life when face to face with the true realisation of nothingness brings forth a rude awakening of sorts. Seeing the game of spirituality when face to face with GOD the path ceases to exist. And i don't really know what to do with that.

Whether you call life a spade, a void, nothingness, whether you call life eternal love, an illusion or a godless atheist evolutionary world.....life is what it is, throughout all these concepts, life simply is what it is There could have been thousands of humans before us each and everyone of them describing what they believe life is, each in their own unique way with their own definitions and stories and workings.........in the end they are talking about the exact same thing, in the end they are describing the same thing The truth is not debatable, the truth is not discovered, the truth is not agreed upon, we live in the truth of what is, what is now is what's here, life is what it is One can continue debating concepts but know that that is a merry pastime, no concept will change what life is, those who seriously want the truth, it is here now, you are living it, and I do not condemn the hobby of debating because here I am taking part We are gods, and we jest

indeed. any such infinite never ending loop of logic ultimately must collapse and it does, and when that's the case. YOU stand revealed. but very true. words alone always needs further expansion and it goes on forever metaphors / ideas come close but only the actual seeing hits the final nail in the coffin what ends the seeking is the realization... not a finding of an object in the normal sense. not sure where i read this example but it was kind of like this the light rays coming out of the flashlight is searching for it's source... but it's searching outwards. in the end, it cannot bend/flip back and point to itself to see/find itself. it cannot know itself like it knows phenomena. it knows itself by being itself. the rays of light just realize they are the source themselves. that's out dealio here except we are NOTHINGNESS

Posting as well as self indexing this for myself. As you know or have heard of the idea that you are not your body, mind/thoughts, senses but are the perceiver of them and thus free from the association/suffering with them. Then, if you'd like to discover yourself, here's how. As this question: Who Am I? Then wait, and allow whatever *answer* arises in your awareness. Now, whatever that *answer* was CANNOT BE and IS NOT *YOU*. The *ONE* who "saw" / "became aware" of the *answer* is who *YOU* are. Notice how "what *YOU* are" cannot be grabbed or grasped in any way... Just slips out instantly from whatever tries to grab. You are the only weighing scale in existence... Able to weigh everything but Yourself. Only *YOU* can know yourself... not in a conventional sense where there are TWO things. For example, an object which is known and a knower of that object. You can be known only via a deep knowing sense and that is self-awareness. That knowing sense is very directly accessible. When you ask the question: Am I aware? Whatever feeling/knowing your attention goes to after which there is the response *YES, I am aware* is what YOU are - self-aware. Simply that. That blank empty space of nothingness is what YOU are. In that space all vibrations of energy arise. Those vibrations are interpreted as sounds, images, tastes, senses, feelings, sensations which all combine into ONE experience. Notice how that sense of knowing isn't like anything else in your experience which only can include sights, sounds, sensations, thoughts, feeling, taste and smell. It's because That knowing sense is not an experience... That knowing sense is *YOU*.

I want to share 2 insights I learned from 2 videos of Ralston, which I have linked at the bottom, and something I’m quickly and rather rudely being awakened to in my own contemplations is the following: all because something isn’t metaphysically or existentially true, doesn’t mean it’s not useful. You can learn FOREVER. This insight is piggybacks off of the deep realization I had yesterday in my own experience of how existence is difference or “this and that”. However, I still have only see the little drop of this giant iceberg of an insight. Everything you learn, in a sense, is a distinction. Whether it came from you or not is another matter but regardless, everything you learn you create... and this was a helluva mindfuck (my hand was over my mouth when I realized this). For example (and this was what I brought to mind when I realized this), since we’re on the actualized.org forum, bring to mind everything you know, feel, have learned, your story about Actualized and of course @Leo Gura. Now... get where all of that is arising. What is the nature of all of that? It’s a thought. You and I literally created this whole narrative and story about Leo and actualized in the form of a thought that, likely, you didn’t have conscious awareness of that whole story and all the emotions that come with that story (or any example, doesn’t matter). Notice how that’s not actually true and if that’s not actually true, Leo really doesn’t exist for you... think about that. Notice this mechanism in your own experience. Notice that this mechanism, distinctions, are not thoughts per say. Now, become aware in your experience that you not only create these distinctions and worlds (unknowingly or not) but also notice that if you pay close attention, if you were to eliminate that distinction, it wouldn’t be real for you. So what that means using a tangible example, if the concept of logic never was introduced to you, logic wouldn’t exist. Which is to also say, you created this world and “thing” called logic since logic itself isn’t something floating out there in the ether. Also notice though... that these distinctions, stories, and concepts have still served you though. With that last point and example in mind let’s look at some examples of powerful distinctions despite them not being existentially true: Logic The Subconscious or Unconcious Mind Morality Gravity The Laws of Physics Mathematical Laws Your life story Death Sentient Rationality Symbols Language Success Failure Pain Society The ego Now... realize that this list can not only be exhausted to infinity but also that, each of these things are all different relative distinctions that are going to be interpreted differently in some way by each and every one of you because you all are going to have different relationships to these distinctions given the difference between all of your own individual upbringing (notice what I had to do there too? ). I invite you to also grasp that this is also creativity at work. Creating worlds & learning for infinity, this power is available to you. Notice the power here. You can literally learn and create forever. Imagine creating a distinction like “the subconscious mind” that, yes isn’t true in the real of absolute truth of Nothingness, but becomes true in the relative world. For instance... what if you created a new world for how we become enlightened and explore the nature of consciousness and create a whole new spiritual practice?... I think this is why I’ve always been attracted to different athletic coaches, sages, etc. They literally created this world from scratch by (unknowingly and unconsciously most likely) using the power of distinctions.

Had a nice experience yesterday on weed. Sat down and did meditation and came to the present after I smoked one. After a while and bit of a thought process, had a powerful seeing. It felt that in the blank nothingness, all phenomena/experience appears. What I kind of saw was like this analogy. Right now we are all identified as a windchime. We chime all the time in the wind and make our sounds (words). But what we are truly cannot be communicated in any way via this body/mind. The windchime cannot chime and tell other windchimes that what we actually are is the air. Not the movement (wind) but the stillness of air all around us (which also makes Us). I drew this picture I am attaching with this post. The top frame shows an impossibility (meta-reality) just to illustrate that Reality is one. Don't be fooled by the cube depicted... Reality is boundless in all directions/dimensions. But this is an illustration of course. The bottom frame is from the POV of within that "cube" of Reality from the top frame. It shows the futility of the effort of a tiny WindChime which attempts to talk about the whole of nothingness as what we are. We get focused and lost in the sound of the windchime and miss what is being pointed to (because well, it cannot be pointed to)

I thought I'd share my journey with this mysterious substance. About 3 months ago I acquired 500mg of 5-meo-dmt HCl. I don't really have a history of doing psychedelics or any other substances for that matter. My first introduction to psychedelics came from Leo's video about 5-meo and Enlightenment. My main focus was doing Spiritual work, and I decided to cut to the chase. I used 5-meo as a prescribed medication. I followed up on my trips almost every week. I forced my ego into doing it as a practice, despite resistance. It really helped that I don't have a full-time job and I work from home. I had so much free time to introspect, that there was no excuse to not partake in this spiritual therapy. I've posted a couple of reports from various trips I had. I've done 11 trips for the past 3 months. They were all powerful and contributed to my growth, but not all of them were breakthroughs. Here I want to give a short summary of the two major breakthrough trips, and some results from doing this practice. For some reason, I needed much higher doses to get the same experience. Maybe substance purity or body tolerance is to blame, but ultimately it doesn't matter. Consuming the substance does not produce a "standard" mechanical response. Each trip is a going inwards towards self-discovery. There is no way to accurately predict what will happen on any dose. Many times I went on a trip expecting reactions based on doses and previous experience, I was surprised every single time. I don't generally like to discuss spirituality. Every discussion is pointless and ends up fueled with spiritual Ego. It's just thoughts that go around and to create more thoughts. Ideas trying to deconstruct other ideas, how silly. It's all conceptual and none of it is Truth. It's easy to get lost in that and mistake it for actual experience. I will still write some spiritual Mombo-jumbo nonetheless, just to illustrate what 5-meo can do for somebody who never tried it. The first breakthrough - "Ego death" A couple of trips in, I experience ego-death. With me dying, the whole external world collapsed on itself. My body/mind mechanism disassembled completely, and what remained was indescribable. There are really no words to put this experience into a category. It was not out of this world. I merged with pure consciousness itself in the infinite void of existence. It was an extremely powerful and life-shattering experience. I can't recall any memories, because all of them are things, and this was no thing. I don't even know what happened to my body while I was gone. I do remember how I came back though. Suddenly I felt a loud pounding in my veins and in my head. I felt my heart pumping blood through my body really hard. It was as if my heart stopped and later restored by an electric shock. Maybe I wasn't getting enough oxygen, as I found myself lying face down on the bed. Either way, there was no external existence, so my death didn't really matter. This was a powerful NDE trip. It left me in a complete state of shock, awe, and maybe a touch of PTSD. My previous self died on that trip, together with all my materialistic believes about reality and myself. It was an extremely powerful Samadhi experience. My brain rewired and my awareness expanded significantly. Two weeks after the trip, everything in my visual field occurred as though it is made out of glass. I felt every sensation as though for the first time, and it was amplified by a thousand. I would stare at people intensely. I was constantly alert and aware of my surroundings. All of that accompanied by strange tensions in my head and a feeling of euphoria. The second breakthrough - "Being God" This trip happened quite recently. It was my last trip, and I gathered every bit of substance I had left. It wasn't that much. I've done much higher doses on other trips. The catalyst for this trip was the process of self-inquiry. I've started a more serious introspection practice after Leo's "How To Do Self-Inquiry" video. It also showed me that there is much more to learn on the spiritual journey, so my mind was open to it. As soon I closed my eyes, after a period of the typical come-up sensations, I became aware of true Self. I was there just swimming in an infinite sea of awareness, and out of the blue, I was shown my existence as God. There is really no other way to put it more softly. You created yourself and this reality... It is impossible to conceive from the human perspective. You can't really see it being in a human form, as we are right now. But as soon as you step out, it is obvious. It's like me saying "I just held a thought in my hand" or "I just walked on water". It doesn't make sense as long as you are in this objective reality. Yet even then, I can say "I walked on water in my dream", and you think "okay that is possible". The same thing happened here, as I'm writing this, I am me - the person. But when consciousness goes to another plane, I am God, and so are you. You created millions of distinctions and points of view to experience them all. It's truly all your Karma. For me, the key that opened this door was the realization that there is no external reality. Everything happens within me and my awareness. But even then, it is not really "my" awareness, as it is impossible to monopolize awareness. There is only consciousness and it can shift and morph. One moment it can manifest this entire existence, and in a split second, it can go back to nothingness and infinite void with no recollection. It's kind of similar to when you were born, it just happened in one snap. Except that you weren't born into the external world, the external world was born within you. Aside from any spiritual insights, 5-meo cracked my mind real good. I've experienced immense psychological maturity. Just for that reason alone, doing this practice was worth it. I look at things very differently now. My ideas became more holistic and systematic. I have a better understanding of where other people are coming from. I see everything as a part of a bigger body. Nature, people, politics, technology, everything functions and exists of its own accord. I'm less arrogant about my knowledge, thus, I invite the state of "not knowing". This openness is usually followed by a true understanding and deep insights. Thanks for reading my post. Right now I want to shift my focus away from spiritual discoveries and more towards life purpose. I want to say a huge thanks to Leo and his work. Seeing the effort and contributions of somebody like Leo, drives me to pursue a meaningful life purpose. After all the gems and growth I've received from Actualized.org, it is really unfair to not work on giving true value to others. I think everybody should consider working harder to provide practical results. The cost of all the knowledge we receive from Leo, is working on ourselves and helping others. As Uncle Ben once said - "with great power comes great responsibility".

Hi everyone, I've recently read the Power of Now and been watching numerous ET videos on YouTube. I have to say, I am now in a worse position that I have ever been in my entire life. To the point where I am seriously considering the prospect of suicide or admitting myself to a psychiatric hospital if I can. I just want to say a few things about ET first. I don't want to die, but I don't want to be thoughtless (which you will say is my ego). I am not anti Tolle as a person. I don't think he's someone who is doing it all for the money. I don't think he is trying to deceive people. I think he is genuine enough. But I also think what he says can be very, very dangerous. I started reading the PON as I thought it would be a book about how to be a better person. My dad had told me that it had helped him to stop ruminating so much about different things, something with which I've struggled with from time to time. Indeed, I used the approach from him explaining it to me a few times when I was in stressful situations and it helped calm me down. Out of curiosity, I thought I'd get stuck in to the read of what Tolle teaches. The dissolution of the ego. Or more plainly, the dissolution of the thinking part of our brains. People can say what they like here, about how Tolle words what he is teaching in his books. However, ultimately, what he is teaching is a form of nihilism. It really is. And what's more, he is right. Essentially, nothing matters. Suffering and pain aren't real emotions. That is what he is saying. If someone is done a perceived injustice (that we have socially constructed as an injustice), such as someone has physically harmed them, or their families, they have no reason to feel aggrieved or even have a negative emotion. If someone comes into my house now and chops my arms and legs off, Tolle would say accept it, live in the now and you won't suffer. If I suffer, it is my ego. Thinking logically, this is true. I would have a choice whether to suffer. What does it matter if I have arms or legs? Emotions are not real. Nothing is real. Everything is a thought, which isn't a thing. Our thoughts are conditioned because of hundreds of years worth of social constructs. Essentially, anything goes. We needn't feel bad for any behaviour, because whatever we do, essentially is neither right or wrong. There is no adjudicator. Even in the sense that you think you love someone. You don't. How mind blowing is that? I saw a video with Tolle (before he was with Kim), and he said that relationships should be avoided. They are social constructs, again. Love, as much as suffering and pain, isn't real. I thought I loved a girl. I would have jumped in front of a gun for her. But love isn't real. You don't love anyone. Because if you are in the now, which is your true self, you have no thoughts. To love something, you need to have thoughts. It cannot work. Therefore, love is based on a thought, that essentially is ego, which is not you. Nothing matters. Everything is a construct. Tolle says he enjoys spending time in nature, which he sees as beautiful. But isn't the idea of nature being beautiful a social construct too? Who says it is? Why do we think anything is interesting or beautiful? That is a thought, which isn't you. Why do you get out of bed and go to work? Why do you study? Why do you watch TV? Why do you socialise, when your friends are doubtlessly ran by their egos, which isn't them? As such, your friends are illusions. They are not real. Nothing is real, everything is an illusion. This is EXACTLY what Tolle is getting at but he might not have worded it as such. Yes, I could live in the 'now'. But how do I function if I have no thoughts? I would urinate and defecate in this exact spot which I am laid. How do I chose what to eat with no thoughts? Tolle's answer for everything is to be in the now. The now cannot be bettered. Nothing compares to the bliss of the now, because if you are not thinking. Of course the now will be a type of bliss, as there are no thoughts. I saw him on Oprah's show on YouTube and they was talking about people grieving. He didn't word it as such, but what he was saying was people are grieving over nothing and they choose to suffering. Do not grieve over your loved ones when they pass, because they, for one thing, they are illusions, two you cannot love them, and three there's nothing you can do to bring them back. It makes absolute sense. So cutting to the chase, why am I here when I could accept the now and none of this would matter? I should be content with just existing. Because I can't yet cease thinking entirely. And more specifically, I don't know if I want to (you will say, ah this is your ego). So I can't win. I am in a state of perpetual suffering as a result. Trying to achieve something that ultimately, you can't and trying to avoid going back to a world of illusions that I now find incredibly scary. My friends are not real, the love I feel for people is not real, everything is an illusion. And I know every single one of you Tolle fans on here know that I am speaking the truth. Tolle cannot write it like this in his books, as it would never be published. My world has come crashing down. I LOVED my life. I was content. I FELT things. Happiness, sadness, euphoria, excitement, nervousness, heartache. But these emotions are just illusions, mere thoughts that aren't real. I now have no desire to anything. See friends? No, they're illusions. See family? No, they're illusions. Go to work? No what's the point, it's an illusion and creates a false identity. If you are a Tolle follower, why do you do anything? The last vestiges of my thinking mind realise that I have two basic functions. To survive and to procreate. These are biologically preprogrammed. These are the only things that are 'real' to me. So, while I want to die (this is a genuine thought, as nothing matters. Indeed, having spoken to a number of enlightened folk online over the past few days, they have agreed that it doesn't matter if I live or die. If I want to die, then die. My family and friends will suffer, but as we know, that suffering isn't really who they are. The real 'them' would not care, as those emotions are born out of the ego). What do I do? I am stuck. I anticipate many of you will just say accept and submit to the now. My point is, I don't see how this truth (it is the truth, you can deny it as much as you like, but this absolutely what Tolle and others with similar messages are getting at in a round about way). can lead anyone to a state of happiness of euphoria, as these aren't real either. Ulimately, a tiny bit of my disgusting egoic brain tells me that perhaps it is better to leave people in their unconscious lives of ignorance. It is all an illusion, sure. But they don't know that. It's that or nothingness. How can't this truth, ultimately, lead to people just dying? And again, what would that matter? It wouldn't.

Because believing in something is essentially useless. You don't believe in God, you become aware of God, and then we tend to create a model and belief around the direct experience. Belief just isn't convincing enough because there's no basis to it, like direct experience. Is it really though? If I stare closely at my experience, there's nothing material about it to me. The "materials" are occurring in "nothingness"

since i have exhausted all my techniques i used to get here, i've find of realised that i have to start back at the bottom if i want to have life long practises - self inquiry, journalling , contemplation, kriya yoga are all tecniques used to question but i have never done a technique that has to do with simply being in nothingness do you have any lifelong techniques i can build and develop?

@PreetomUpon non duality, the realisation of and abiding in “nothingness”. Due to the nature of my experience itself and the path that led me to that experience. My teachers, advaita Vedanta and etc. I realized something. Something that was thought of and expressed in a contradictory fashion. “I am eternal and everything” & “I do not exist”. I thought nothing of this contradiction. My experience seemed unquestionable. More real than anything I had ever experienced. Time passed. I got and completed my kundalini process, got involved with esoteric vajrayana practices (that I would highly advise against), and proceeded to realise the massive difference in depth between teachings and teachers due to the immense change in the nature of my non dual experience. Some teachers and most people not in non duality describe this immense change in depth and experience as a “deepening”. I can only assume those that say that haven’t been through what I have been through. It is much more. Much much more. In each state, each level of depth, different conclusions and beliefs, and ideaologies were formed. Different interpretations of my experience. Of reality. Of everything. The Buddha went through this as well. He realized nothingness. That was the first step in his journey. This realisation wasn’t a glimpse. The full thing, but he was through it. As he saw through everything that came after. It wasn’t until full enlightenment that he gave up the ever so convincing eternal self up as another delusion. A misinterpretation of the truth of Anatta. *sadhguru tone* Anatta means... there is no unchanging thing that can be called a self. This does not merely apply to a human being. It applies to those who say they are the eternal self as well. Such people simply misinterpret and filter the truth of non self through their contracted system and come to a contracted conclusion. Far from true enlightenment all of them. Anatta also denies the reality of a soul, an individual essence, unlike less nuanced traditions, however it does not deny the reality of seperation, if you live as a separated self. That is your reality. This is just obvious. Denying it is foolish. Your separated self, however, is just a part of a process. Not an unchanging thing. That is the problem with some non dual teachings as well. They trade the unchanging seperate self for an unchanging “witness self”. Nothing is unchanging within this world. Including any sort of self. Which can become just another thing the seperate self that thinks it’s moved beyond tells itself. Just to clarify and to elaborate : Most that experience non duality, are still individuals experiencing non duality. Non duality is filtered through their karmic conditionings, and produces a state that is very convincing, but is ultimately another delusion. As a result their conclusions are half baked, their teachings one dimensional. Only those that completely move beyond the limitations of the karmic body, and it’s filters see the truth of Anatta.

There are ongoing blips of enlightenment in the slow and fitfull awakening process. It can trigger ego backlash. Good news Bad news. It happens to everyone repeatedly, eventually. We experience perspectives of enlightenment all the time but until integration of knowledge and Being create continuity, we remain susceptible to a unique amnesia that divides the personality against itself. The personal essence or Pearl beyond Price is discovery of Being and its continuity and the nothingness of personality. A continual return to Ordinary Idiot is a part of the method. The horizontal pendulum path and the vertical ladder occur simultaneously after a time Motion in Path of knowledge is on horizontal Pendulum plane of personality Ordinary Idiot Super Idiot Arch Idiot Hopeless Idiot Campassionate Idiot Squirming Idiot Square Idiot Round Idiot Zigzag Idiot Motion on Ladder of Being is in vertical dimensions resulting in yo yo of Being Enlightened Idiot Doubting Idiot Swaggering Idiot Born Idiot Patented Idiot Genial Idiot Polyhedral Idiot Master Idiot Perfect Idiot (Fully Realized Idiot) Holy Idiot Cosmic Idiot Unique Idiot - God All of this is true, if you're a striving Idiot. If you're not, it's not. The ups and downs of life are observed on the yo yo. The ups and downs of life are identified with on the pendulum.

Ohh boy where do I start okay? Problem – the problem is even after full enlightenment and one realises everything Is indeed an illusion, it is in itself is freedom from bondage as you understand yourself as the big self. Continuing along this notion even realising full enlightenment does not garuntee one thing. It is how to live life after this must be done according to adhering to the strict disciplines of methods and techniques one used to get to where they are now. The problem that continues to follow is there embodiment. If we consider non-duality. It means one … there is no need to go out there and solve problems and raise other you’s consciousness as you have declared that everything is beautiful and perfect. ON THE other hand, the problem I proposed above has not been solved. Let me continue with an example through method 1) Look at your watch or clock 2) Notice the tick moving in the actual present moment 3) Observe the illusion that is time 4) 1s 2s 3s 4s 5s 6s … 1m 2m 3m 1 hour 2 hour 3 hour 1 day 2 days 5) This Is direct experience and observation 2nd example 1) Look at the mcdonalds sign or your favourite food 2) Notice that it is just a pixel on a screen or the very thing infront of you 3) Observe the illusion that is what you are looking at colours, shape, etc.. etc. 4) Question what is the illusion that my mind is psychologically producing 5) This is the self-deception that leo is talking about 6) This is direct experience and observation You see the part that is missing for full buddahood is the that saying everything and nothing is an illusion in your conceptual direct experience Example … I see illusion , I see illusion, I see illusion is what your mind is probably conducing in these states of very high conscious levels that you are currently at. However, there are still millions of levels higher to go within your direct experience. The method I am talking about is the method of observing something for thousands of hours to see the illusion itself. Once you see the illusion , it gets embedded in your awareness completely and not conceptually. Yes it is true we are one thing but there are still alternating levels of seeing the present moment that is now To express this mathematically My consciouslevel I---------------I--------------------I--------------------I---------------------------I LEO’s current level I------------------------------------------------I------------------------------------------------I Yousefs current level I-----I----------I--------------I-------------I--------------I-------------I------------------I-I-I-I Nahms current level I----------------------------------------------------I---------------------------------I------------------ Ivankiss current level I----------------------------I----------------------I------------------------------I------------------I Anton current level I------------------I------------------------I------------------------I------------------------I------- Pretoms current level I-----------------------------I--------------------------------I----------------------------- (don’t take them personally, I have no way to actually state what they are, they aren’t even assumptions. Just merely using names for demonstration purposes) What this shows is that our conscious levels are varied even though we all know the same truth and are at the same exact place, I personally feel in our embodiment Buddah current level ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- These I signs represent the now, we are all in varying degrees of now. The path to buddahood itself requires you to continue to break illusions by directly observing the illusions for hours on end until every self-deception is embodied at a cellular level. THIS IS DEVELOPMENT the stage after enlightenment- which we all know is not the final thing so per say. This is what it means by raising your consciousness daily - Eating 1 or 2 times a day - Sleeping at 10pm and waking up at 5pm - Continue meditating and self enquiring into nothingness This is one type of buddah because they are increasing all of consciousness by their very own practices, this is what true non duality means. There is no need to produce life purposes like the one I have chosen for myself to build schools in third world countries as some of you may have read. This is contradictory to true non-duality. BECAUSE you can do the exact same thing by being consciousness itself and raising your own consciousness. You will be going into a deeper now. What you will find is you will start to develop psychic abilities by definition of not knowing what it is but really it is just different levels of consciousness through development of self and direct observation of illusions. Consciousness is infinity and so is nothingness. But separating what is actual now from psychological nows will raise your consciousness higher and higher and higher and higher. Until well I can only hypothesis the more you let go and do this life long practice by yourself. You will discover consciousnesses that are not even currently available to humanity and be able to explain them as illustrations through your direct experience. My point or solution is: the road is infinite there is no end what ever stage you think you are at now, there is always a greater now to observe. Observation is awareness and the only tool by which direct experience can arise. So I conclude: it is a choice that one must wake. Dive into infinity or stay at their currently level to fulfil their life purpose. Some may even create the life purpose to attain buddah hood which is a term for the highest possible state that one achieved in this lifetime. The unfortunate thing is that if you stop, this is a self-deception you are implying on yourself. Enlightenment was seeing past the illusion Development is diving into the dark without knowing what to expect This is indeed the deepest insight I can give YOU guys, I have decided that I have gone as far as I need to complete my life purpose. But imagination is infinite, this is truly and is only the start of the road to infinity when you have broken the barrier to an enlightenment. There is always one more step you just have to keep inquiring to find out what it is ? happy new now. i can't help you past this point, its just down to your radical openmindedness and direct experience to see if its correct or not! aswell as the path you wish to take in your lifetime. ALL I KNOW is were all in this together by definition ahaha :') i love you all

I need time to write up my deepest insight, take it as motivation to any one who wants to go higher and i'll explain the method to do!! from there its up to you. I'll explain as much as i can and you'll see why it'll be my deepest insight. This is only for people that have reached infinite something/ nothingness , in other words, those who consider they have found truth. It is the last thing i wanted to contemplate and i can't go further because i see now that i only took this journey to see what was the best solution for others (my life purpose) the post will be called "why there is way more to go" give me like 2 hour ish.

@Key Elements on third thought, i understand what your saying now. The truth is the truth regardless of what way its dissected and life purpose is created. Theres only one direction to go to find the infinite. My answer is yes, i've been contemplating but only individuals who self meditate and adhere to strict routines of consciousness can go higher all together. It's like the purification process is still going forward to the highest human being consciousnesses. Only the person who travels that far can build the foundation at that level. The continuation of finding a deeper what is nothingness and self -inquiring. this is the path the independant buddahs choose for themselves, to let go completely to infinity. There are subsequently millions of consciousness levels higher than the one i'm at. But me personally, i only came this far through self-experiment to find the truth and learn how to guide other people in the correct way. this is personal development/ life coaching i realise now. thats why i want to set up schools personally. I understand the difference it's what i've been contemplating for the last couple of days i finally see it. So good luck on your journey's my old friends, theres still along ALONG way to guide people to infinity, but embodyment still needs to be done.

@winterknight once there is realisation of non-doership or no control or state of nothingness - mind immediately gets afraid and steps back into dream-fog and 'returns control' to itself. there is no one in no-control state. but once there is no control and no one there - mind interprets it as no control and as no one and steps back into dream and its never ending circle what to do? how to stay in state of no-control?

The idea is not to make a virtue out of emptiness. That would be just mere philosophy, and it's called nihilism. The emptiness that is attributed to the Self does not fully represent the truth of the matter. This idea predominantly comes from Nagarjuna's Doctorine of the Void, but somehow has been misinterpreted by many people to mean nothingness, or emptiness. It's more a recognition of the fact that awareness cannot know itself as an object. The void is supposed to teach us that no matter how much we try to ascribe meaning to reality, it will not be true. But you already know this yourself.

Oh, I see. If you're just here to agitate people's demons for the sake of agitation, then I can get behind that, bruh. Carry on, carry on. I reckon people call others delusional because maybe they see some of themselves in that person. Projection, you know. Though I don't go around calling people delusional myself, I can understand the sentiment. Whenever I see someone making the same mistakes that I did back when I was at a similar point in the journey--mistakes that seem so obvious to me now from this better vantage point--sometimes I get the irrational desire to smack them. I still haven't gotten past that stage yet. I dunno when I will. I point at people, too. As for why people call it "nothingness" or say that the truth is that we're "nothing" is because...that's one word for it, I guess. Personally, when I experience reality most acutely, one of the first things I notice is the lack of something that was there before. The voice stops talking. My brain stops editorializing. I start to get the sensation (not the thought, not the feeling) that there's space where "I" should be. Calling it "nothing" is just one way to call it. It either makes sense to someone or it doesn't. But of course it's silly to think that telling someone that they're "nothing" will help them see this at all. People really should respect all stages of the journey and realize that the only way to move through them is with personal experience. This is why I think debates are kind of pointless. Words can only vaguely, vaguely, VAGUELY approximate, so how do we even know that we're talking about the same things?

generally speaking in the widest sense it’s still about nothing. but i confess the word did not show. so maybe for the count of it... my first post had an enormous amount of condensed nothingness. so may it be forgiven. back to the initial content.

Proton, electron, neutron Particle, anti-particle, potential particle Positivity, negativity, neutrality Man, woman, child This trident completes us You cannot take one part (neutron, void, nothingness) and make it your identity which is why Ivankiss is mad You cannot take only the light (proton) either and pretend love is all there is to it We integrate light, shadow and void/infinity, with that we form a family, an atom, a seed, a cel, a reality