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@Leo Gura A little offtopic, for the sake of mindfucks. Humans are already a product of the hybridization of multiple alien species. There are studies about this. It goes even further... some people are aware that they have hybrid children with Greys. I personally know someone who meets his hybrid children in the astral plane. Bridget Nielsen on youtube has a lot of content about hybrid children.

Once you go alien you never go sapien. . .

TMI, but when I was 11, I used to sneak and watch the VHS of Total Recall when my parents were away and I'd fast-forward to the part with the alien with the three breasts. That was sex-ed for me back in the year 2000.

@Leo Gura I can't wait to land me an alien girlfriend

A human species identity is certainly present and will only get stronger as we transcend our national identities. If aliens became a commonly recognized thing, humans would develop a much stronger human species identity which would contrast itself against the aliens. Then at some point there would need to be unification of the alien and human identities. The humans and aliens would start to have sex with each other, and so on. At first this would be hated and even outlawed. But then it would become normal and even desirable. The movie Avatar touches on this issue.

@Jed Vassallo Thanks for your answer! I just stumbled upon some other forums where the consence of the topic says this for example: I Drank Ayahuasca in a small village on the amazon in Peru with a very traditional ceremony. I'm gonna level with you here even though you are not going to like what you hear. DO NOT DRINK AYAHUASCA WITHOUT A PROPERLY TRAINED SHAMAN IN THE ROOM, PERIOD. This stuff(depending on the quality of the brew I suppose) makes mushrooms, peyote, and even LSD look like a child's toy. You are opening your mind to energy and vibrational frequencies that are extremely disorienting and alien unless you have some experience with astral projection. I'm talking COMPLETE out of body experiences where time very well go completely out the window. Not all of the entities you may meet on the other side are nice and some are more than capable of causing serious mental damage if they are malicious. I remember during one of my ceremonies I saw something very nasty trying to get inside me and the ONLY thing that kept it away from me was the shaman's ability to hold a safe energetic space for the group. This is not a recreational substance man, you need to treat it with a lot more respect or it will fuck you up. Is there really the possibility of getting possessed of some astral entities without a shamanistic protection? Best, Joshua

Last night I took 600 mg of DXM and combined it with cannabis. I had an experience that was more profound than the experiences I've had through Shrooms and LSD. Essentially, I became completely conscious that each moment is eternal. This experience utterly shocked the shit out of me. It was so profound yet so alien that I thought I had become completely insane. Perhaps it was all just delusion; however, in that precise moment there was absolutely no distinguishing between real and unreal.

I'm not sure why I'm posting this exactly. I'm fairly new to this and I'm sure I have nothing to add you all haven't heard before. It was pretty interesting to me though lol. I don't know if their is any truth to this or if It was just some kind of expanded ego state? Whatever that even means... I guess I don't really know anything for sure anymore. I took 3.5 grams of mushrooms. I was very nervous and shaky before I took them. It took me 45 minutes to work up the courage to just take them. I felt fine during the come up, just a little nervous. I found myself becoming what I can best describe as some kind of hyper dimensional soup. I couldn’t tell you when or how the transition happened. If something like this picture (see attachments) was alive and self aware. Able to mix and unmix itself in any dimension. Only way way weirder than it sounds. This was so alien and whacked out I couldn’t even be afraid. I was just there experiencing more like a state of shock and confusion but not really in a bad way. It was just too strange and mesmerizing to be negative. At some point the soupy experience began to fade and I was more aware of the room I was in. I also by this point had gone insane. It’s strange because I knew I had taken mushrooms and I knew that they had made me insane. I also knew that everything happening was temporary. Every experience is temporary. Even if I was in hell it couldn’t last forever. So again there was no real fear or panic. Just a strange fascination with the situation. To be the witness of your own insanity is quite the thing. It was like I realized paradoxes about my own existence/reality and then fell through them. Like realizing a strange loop and then becoming stuck in it. Experiencing something like the following picture in a kind of looping eternal moment. I can’t really describe what it was like any better even to myself. I have a sense that If I could fully remember what it was like I would still be insane right now and unable to describe it anyway. If I could fully re-realize the paradoxes I would be stuck in them again. I don’t know that for sure though maybe I just can’t remember. It was like remembering something I had forgotten on purpose. My wife told me at one point I was asking why I took them. “Why did I do this to myself”? I was staring at the wall and started gasping loudly in shock and them calmly said “oh that’s why, to remember”. The eeriest thing about all of this was the strong sense of dejavu I had. I will try as best as I can to explain this but it’s going to be a nonsensical mess. At some point the insanity was subsiding and things were becoming more cohesive again. I was in the room and in my body but I noticed that “Matt” wasn’t there. There was no center anymore. There were no more thoughts. Just this rock solid immovable presence encompassing the whole room and everything in it including “my” body. Like I had become a perfect mirror mirroring itself. I could “see” my own reflection in everything. Normally you think of your skin as the barrier between you and the world. Like your sense of self starts in your head and extends to the limits of your body. Now my sense of self had extended beyond the body and into the rest of the room. My body had become the whole room. Normally just sitting here you aren’t aware of lets say your feet. But if you stop and focus on them you can sense an energy or presence to them. If you put your awareness on them you can feel their existence. It was like my “awareness muscle” had been ratcheted up a few degrees and I could take in much more than usual. I was having simultaneous sensations of being the body, the air, the walls and other “inanimate” objects. I was fully in everything, fully alive and conscious but at the same time not any one thing in particular. It felt like perfection, like time and space was something I made up, like I was in the center of infinity. Like it was way too good to be true. Like pure happiness. I don’t know who I am. I don’t know where, when, why, or how I am. I only know that I am. I am this presence. I am right now forever. I am the nothing that is everything. It seemed like the most obvious thing ever. At one point I took my clothes off and was dancing around the room. Then I calmed down and sat quietly with this peace for maybe an hour before I came back to my normal senses, just taking it in and grinning ear to ear. Lets say you are looking at the picture of this landscape and you realize all you are really looking at is pixels on a screen. There is actual no separation between anything in the image. There isn’t a tree over here and a person over there, just the appearance of it. The screen is one just one solid object. The pixels have the potential to display an infinite number of images and this landscape is just one finite example of those. The pixels are nothing yet they are what everything is made out of. Now lets say you are the person in this picture and you realize that what you actually are is just pixels on a screen. You realize that “you” don’t really exist. “You” are just an image or an idea. There is no person, no tree, no water. There is only infinite pixels taking on different appearances and you are that. There is only this one presence taking on different appearances. There is only this and this is nothing and everything and everyone. This presence is the only actor on this stage and it’s playing all the parts at once. I am literally you and you are literally me and we are literally nothing. Reality is ONE thing/nothing. Your ego is just a character, a story, just memory and imagination, just repeating thought patterns. Your ego is just a thought. You are what the thoughts are appearing in and the thoughts are at the same time made out what you are. Your ego is the clouds, your true identity is the sky. What did I take away from this practically? This experience has pretty much evaporated my depression overnight. Nothing in my life has changed except for me. I understand how irrelevant all my bullshit and suffering is. How I feel about something has nothing to do with what actually is. I am only just fighting with myself internally. I can either accept a situation, calmly take steps to change a “bad” situation, or accept that I can’t change it. Everything else is madness. You can look at a child crying because they got the wrong mcdonalds toy. From your perspective you understand how silly and pointless it is but the child thinks it’s the only thing that matters. You understand that this toy won’t even matter to the child a minute from now. Ego is a whining selfish child. Ego is a kind of insanity Just let it go.

Thank you for that affirmation @Synchronicity - My daughter is probably going to be in a boat much like yours. Her father (we're divorcing) thinks I'm generally crazy/the butt of a new-aged joke (funny thing, he was attracted to me because I was "goth"(ish) but has zero respect for anything deeper than a corset and some black eyeliner). When she had her last sleep experience, he was in her face yelling at her, shaking her, "tell me what's happening. Snap out of it! Wake up! It's just your mind playing tricks on you. What's going on?" and berated her for it for DAYS afterward "what was that? You need to tell me what you were thinking. Do you even remember that that happened?!" And she was clearly put off by his questions and didn't want to talk about it. She just woke up this morning in a fine mood, and hasn't mentioned it, so I'm just loving her the way I always do-- if she wants to talk, I'm here, but this is not a thing to be "fixed through power and logic." (His M.O.) Also, a fun alignment- I had lots of "alien" stuff going on when I was a kid, too. I don't know that my dad ever figured out that my thing for The Blue Angels isn't entirely about the FA-18 Hornet warplanes. Well, I bet he's figured it out now that he's passed. lol

My parents had to deal with a ton of this when I was a kid. My mom was more open-minded than my dad, so she was the one that I usually talked about this stuff with. That’s the main thing she did. She just remained open-minded and when I brought up an experience that I thought was no big deal, she encouraged me to talk more in-depth about it. This was one of the ways that I found out my experiences weren’t typical. This caused a chain-reaction of me bringing up crazier and crazier stories to her and there was a point where she actually started to get worried. It was too much for her despite how open-minded she was. This caused us to get into a couple of arguments at times while my dad would just joke around about me being an alien Lol (not in a mean way... he actually seemed convinced which was kinda eerie). Yet, despite the challenges that my mom faced with confronting how radical everything that I told her was, she continued to let me talk about as much as I could and continued to listen intently. Now she trusts me completely and actually comes to me with some of her questions. This alone, I think, has been enough. And it sounds like you’re not only listening to and trusting your daughter but also spiritually helping her with your own abilities. This is already much more than my parents could’ve done. Even as a very young kid, I was left to face the nightmarish side of the spirit world on my own. I had encounters with frightening beings that other kids my age wouldn’t face for another decade (when they were old enough to enjoy horror movies). So the fact that your daughter doesn’t have to go it alone is spectacular for her. In my opinion, you’re going above and beyond the mark??

@2_spirit Lets imagine that 90% of the fans of Joker and other such villains that use psychology to cause terror would be angry at the society and depressive. Wouldnt a movie of a villain they can identify as lower their tendencies to act in the real world? Wouldnt these people more likely numb down after seeing their wildest fantasies come true rather than spark their passion to act on their suffering in societal destructive ways? Personally I see that majority of Joker fans are people who love to see psychology used as a terror weapon. Thats a type of villain that the society has refused to provide us for thousands of years. All we got is black and white fantasy, like Sauron is ultimate evil or Thanos is ultimate evil, or Superman is ultimate good. Movie like The Joker is a great step towards more complex stories which dont rely on backgrounds that can be summed up in "Alien from another planet" or "My dad forced me to smile" or "USA turned a rifleman into supersoldier". Joker feels like a human gone nuts, not like an alien gone nuts. This is also why I also love batman, his background is complex too. I guess it could be that people are afraid of a villain whom they dont understand, or they identify with too much? Like if they came up with a supervillain that was exactly like Batman but turned evil because he had trouble growing up because of depression and anxieties, that would probably cause a huge backlash

Why don't I connect with people? 1 Concious step closer Background I dont(and haven't since I was a child) felt connected with friends, relatives, etc. The biggest issue with this is I care deeply about my career, and not having the charisma, or ability to connect with people affect that. People don't trust me, aren't interested in talking to me, and don't help me. I have no idea why. I can feel I don't connect, that I don't relate. Everything he or she cares about, I don't care about. His/her opinions about life do not align with me. She/he sees the world one way, I see it another. The person cant find a common thread to connect with me in, to share a common experience, im different in every way. They feel like they are talking to an alien, someone outside the social norm and this scares them. Its uncanny, something isnt right. They can sniff im being inauthentic, trying to be normal when im not. They hate being in this feeling of uncanny. Am I wasting my time with this person? Is this person safe to talk to? Is talking to someone as uncool as this affecting my social status? They leave at the first instant possible. Having said that, it's not like this with everyone. There are some people out there that are just so joyful, so charismatic, so happy that they can turn the uncanny sensations they feel from me into something comfortable - if they even need to consciously put effort here at all. But this is 1/10 people. Insight What i experienced today was awe striking. I was at a networking event. I was alone, which is quite normal, watching everyone around me having their conversations over beers. There were clusters of people all mingling together. As I was listening to their conversations, suddenly all of the semantic meaning of their speeches just dropped. Instead of listening to their words I listened to the energy that their words were spoken with. I became conscious of their auras, their vibrations. And I saw with my own eyes, that rapport was not being developed by what they were saying, but rather by the orchestration of people's energies/vibrations dancing with each other in a synchrony. Wow all your life you've been brought up with the importance of the words you use and how you use them. Then I just had the experience where the semantic meaning of what people said was not a cause, but a side effect of the interactions of energies between people. Why can't I connect with people? Its not my body expression, it's not my smile or lack of, it's not the way I dress. Its non of that stuff. Its my energy, my presence, my aura. What I say is almost unimportant(surprisingly!). Its literally the energy in the words i say that count. I could say "your dick is quite small but i like you" and if i say it with a strong, present, comfortable presence and energy, they wont feel uncomfortable. If i say "Hi pleasure to meet you" and say it with an anxious energy, they will run a mile. At the end of the day, it doesn't solve my problem because my vibration/energy does not resonate with theirs, but it gives me a deeper appreciation for what is causing me to not connect with people, which is significant for me personally.

Over the past five years I have been diving deeply and consistently into the nature of reality and myself. They're both the same thing. I have had several deep and very profound and indeed life changing nondual and psychedelic experiences at this point. I understand that everything in the totality of existence is all fundamentally and inexorably one. I have traveled to places within consciousness that are beyond the human imagination. I have had my sense of self and eradicated and reformed several times now. Looking into the viewport of infinity is indeed breathtaking beyond all comprehension. You really are absolutely infinite and so beautifully glorious beyond what our bodies and brains are physically evolved to comprehend right now. However there is something within me that is seemingly contently disinterested with phenomenological existence. I do not want to play this game anymore. I feel like no matter what I experience in this life, no matter where I go there will still always be a part of me that is just over the experience of existing as an individuation of consciousness at any level whether it be at a human level, bacterium level or godlike cybernetic alien level it’s all not the absolute truth, just more of this multiversal, multidimensional game of exploratory consciousness. After I live my life and die there is a very strong feeling at the “core” (there is no core) of my consciousness that I never want to reincarnate in any way. While that is an ego driven statement I feel that there is something within myself that this is coming from a place of much deeper much more comprehensive inner standing and understanding of phenomenological existence and it’s alternative merging COMPLETELY into God consciousness so fully that any hope or possibility of incarnation into the realm of form is entirely extinguished. No thought no mind, no form no play, simply infinite incomprehensible nothingness, the purest expression of God. Over the past year a feeling has arisen within myself that wants this life of this specific individuation of consciousness to be the last physical expression that this individuation of consciousness ever experiences. The feeling and sense of relief is what I long for. I long for the ending of all experience by this individuation. The thought of an I experiencing reality no longer is the all encompassing thing that it once was. Now the idea of an I experiencing reality seems so superficial and somewhat shallow in a sense. I enjoy life and its many phenomena but I can so clearly see ( at an increasing rate) the illusion of all of the realm of form. Expression, experience and phenomenological existence go together. And there is such a powerful longing within my energetic composition to just have relief from being, relief from form, relief from experience I feel like I have done this so many times. I feel that I have played this game an infinite number of times. Now there is a tiredness to it all. I am all,every subatomic particle, every atom, every cell, every organism in the multitude of multiverses every object in all of existence. I am the infinite Holon. I am immortal, timeless, and infinite in every way. Yet and still within this body, within this specific individuation of consciousness, within this trans-temporal energetic being I feel a strong urge to never want to return to this place. It matters not what form consciousness takes it all boils down to this. Same shit different form. You are God experiencing itself in every way that there is and isn't. After you have seen into infinity and lived in that place all of the forms become trivial they are no longer something to go after or to awe at when gazed upon. Its all infinite and there are never-ending forms but it all becomes ‘predictable’. You predict the outlandish and the mundane to the point where it becomes all just “meh” at a certain point of being blasted into infinity so many times. Viewing and being the infinite myriad of forms organisms, technologies, energies eventually it reaches a point of simply a pretty existential first person light show. The illusion is seen through and compared to truth the realm of forms and limitation becomes shallow in its substances. The transcendence of survival is a necessary place to come to in this work and an inevitable point. I have not transcended survival and am still subject to it’s whims but there are times ( and they are becoming increasingly more common) where I can get into states of consciousness where in those moments I would be 100% OK with dying. However I am only 22 years old and thus I would like to complete my bucket list before I leave this place and I have so much work to do on myself in this life; and so much more fun to have; and so many more things to explore. I do not hate life I enjoy it and all of it’s beautiful weirdness but it’s illusory nature no longer has the same charm and allure as it had before in my perception. The world of form is BS and while it is truth on a relative level it will never be the absolute truth due to the fact that life is navigating forms, whether they be physical or nonphysical. It is because of this why “I” (at a level beyond ego that is inexplicable to me currently) want out of this game at all levels permanently. You could incarnate into any multitude of alien species, Tryptamine entities, light beings, demigods, lichens, molds, insects, bacterium. While it is all you exploring and experiencing yourself once complete nondual awareness is had this experiencing looses it’s allure. It doesn't matter what form you take anymore. The destination and “point” of it all is the same. Simply put ULTIMATE UNION WITH GOD. This means a complete secession of all types of form and all types of experience, it is the embodiment and paradox of absolute nothingness. Not nonexistence, because God is infinite and thus nonexistence cannot exist; but nothingness in the sense of no longer being an individuation of consciousness bound to form and experience of any and all kind. It is this secession which is the omega point of this creation of this game. According to Buddhism the entirety of the realm of form is suffering in some way. This is Samsara. Nirvana is the release of this and the permanent secession of the individuated conscious experiencing of phenomenological existence. Absolute union with God. No more false boundaries, no more illusions. Just the simple truth. All incarnation is an infinitely intelligent yet amnesiac God exploring to know its infinite self. However there comes a point where for individuations this experiencing of fundamentally illusory forms is no longer necessary for understanding. There is a transcendent something beyond being, beyond phenomena. Phenomenological existence is not the only way that God can know itself. However it is the only way that we can know ourselves. As lifeforms we highly value life to the point of delusion. I have no way to back up what I am about to say here; but life and the totality of phenomenological existence in my experience feels like a preliminary training ground for something else. This place is illusion and with illusion comes pain and suffering in one way or another. At the end of the day all holons of existence especially organisms organisms “want” to be happy, and to know that they are God. I do wonder if there will be a point (Yes I know time does not truly exist) where all individuations of consciousness in the totality of phenomenological existence will realize and embody God consciousness and this section of the game will end. It’s just a thought I have sometimes. I know that God is infinite and thus I am infinite.

How could God not be curious about itself? God is too amazing and too mysterious to not be curious about itself. Imagine if you went to sleep in your bed and then magically woke up the next day on an alien planet. You would naturally be extremely curious to explore it. You wouldn't wake up and be like, "Oh, it's just some alien planet. Boring! I'm going back to sleep." Instead you'd say, "OMG! WTF is this? Let's look around. This is amazing stuff!"

natural, fresh, and whole, is a perspective, to lack something, you need an understanding of lack vs full. whole, vs empty. to see something as big you need to create a duality. between a full cup and an empty cup. from a god perspective, there is no chemical, everything come from "here" and everything is alien. food is alien, whole food is alien, looking at your hand is not physical, if you look at it for like 200 seconds, and don't try to think, you'll MAYBE get the ultimate. Then project this ultimate awareness of your hand, and imagine all "science actuality" is in fact, deeply created by minds, minds of human, that are picking tiny fragment of infinite interpretation of the nothingness. Nothingness that is all the things around you since you're "born". Until you realise ultimately that being born is aswell a thought in the now. there is food bad for some, good for others, and there is almost no way to know for sure what's good, that's the ultimate mindfuck, that's why thinking looks more & more like a tool and not like a toxic need that will help me figure out reality. It could, but for this, I need to be aware that I m handling a tool, that I m and I m not the thought. The most self belief people inflict to themself is believing being this or that, like, I m a black, I m a french, I m a dentist, those sort of things, but in nothingness that is the ultimate reality, there is no such thing, and you'll ever be nothing, just like everyone else. & a carni or vegan diet, both could be healthy or killing you, it will depend, of your personnal reaction. Poison is Cure, the cure is sometimes poison.

I am saying exactly what I am saying. We keep looking for what make us different, we keep getting away from oneness. It is simple. No much to explain. Actually I don't like talking about this subject because once people start separating their sex/mind/body this way, it becomes a complex net hard to get out of, and in general they don't want to get out of it. You keep thinking I don't understand you, and you start being ironic and talking to me like I was stupid. I don't really know your real intention on this thread. I thought you were looking for an answer (or at least for different opinions about) for "is thinking you are the opposite sex unconscious?". And my short answer is: yes. It's like thinking you are a cat or an alien, just because you are not. I carefully measured my words trying to be the most polite and compassive I could. I'm sorry if they can't help you any way. I understand it's not easy to consider different points of view about a thing we are so attached to. If you allow me giving you a piece of advice: keep exercising it with truth deep in your heart. You don't have to defend yourself of anything, you don't have to fight. You only have to sincerely consider. Peace.

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I won't go into details (which is huge. Buddhists have done investigation for 1000s of years) For starters, I will say, he walks and talks like the Buddha. He is calm all the time, and never angry (just an example, it's not confined to this alone) With that logic, you also don't know whether I am an alien or a human and vice versa. This is a problem discussed by Neil de grasse Tyson in a youtube video that I don't remember.

Thank you. I wasn't aware it was a "thing". Yet I think I took it one step further with my alien society, lol.

@Hansu This might lead a way. Just a small exercise while you are exploring this subject: You may do it as long as you want. Go make a list of lets say 20 right and 20 left wing videos or websites. Watch them with complete presence. Try to see what they see. Why it is important to them, why does it make sense to them, what did they see so that particular thing clicked with them, what do they love, what hurts them. What are the healthy chunks, what are the neurotic ones. Do it with depth, sink into them, forget what or who you are, sink into them, be present 100%. You'll notice that these people will become extremely weird, even alien to you. That is the point where you have heard them. And will understand them. It will than be easier or even automatic for you to reflect on the shortcomings of your current political stance. I'd say it is better to move away from it and see it from another point. You cant really see it if you are standing on it. I also think it is better to just see it, than to analyze it. Its based on things people feel deeply about after all, so its a good start. Too much thinking can tie you in a knot It clicked with me, it might with you. Hope it helped.

I like the comment in the video "How would you design a society if you did not know your place within that society?". If someone can truly surrender into this, it is a great frame to reveal personal dynamics. Imagine designing this society. . . be careful, you don't know if you will be a gun advocate or a victim of a mass shooting. You don't know if you are an insecure hyper-masculine male or an LBTQ that has suffered stigmatization and attempted suicides. You don't know if you are a criminal, a victim of crime or a police officer. Whether you are black or white. . . The hard part is fully surrendering one's identity. For example, a privileged white person may say "OK, I can imagine that. . . I don't know what person I will be in the society. I will design a society with "equality and justice for all" that way, whoever I am, I will have equality and justice". Yet what this person doesn't realize is that "equality and justice for all" is going through a privileged white filter. "Equality and Justice for all" will appear very differently through an LGBTQ, female, POC filter. That is the second level of realization. A half step might be image you have to design an alien society of the "paltik", "smethod" and "rifblin" beings. Since we don't identify as "paltik", "smethod" and "rifblin" beings, we would start off without identifying with any of the groups. They all start off equal. The challenge is to maintain this non-bias as we begin to learn more about each group - as we learn about each group, the personal/human tendency is to start identifying with one group. For example, the paltiks may have black hodflets, while the rifblins have white hodflets. This would introduce the first opportunity for identification/bias toward one group.

@kieranperez Hahaha like I said in the video, I’m able to function because of how well all of the experiences are meshed into one singular overall “experience.” The downside is that this makes it virtually impossible to dial in on each piece and accurately distinguish or manipulate it. However, I still feel every sensory perception of every experience (including yours). It’s all in there. Even the experience of what it’s like to be a wall. That experience is nothing like a human experience. I can’t explain it to you because the sensations of a wall are radically alien compared to human sensations. My relationship to Liberation and self-survival isn’t something that I get into with anyone really because it excuses one from self-work. So how do I know this is all true? How can I be sure that this experience isn’t a delusion? The first answer is that this experience is infinitely more tangible than each of the pieces where someone is asking me how I know it’s true Lol So if I cross this experience off the list as “unreal,” I would have to do the same with you. Even calling this an experience isn’t enough. Experiences rely on Awareness but this goes beyond that. An Awareness can be unaware and deceived. But this goes beyond knowing and awareness. It gives me a sense of certainty that knowing can’t.

1. Come up I was laying in bed with an eye mask on, listening to the John Hopkins spotify playlist through headphones. Pretty soon I was tearing up a bit by the music. But after a while I stopped paying attention to the music and instead was confronted by the strange and alien seeming situation that I was in - I was a biological creature needing to drink and eat, a young man laying in bed high on acid listening to classical music, the son of a single parent mother who is in a different country, a brother of two siblings. All of this seemingly obvious observations and facts, suddenly turned into an alien whirlpool of random thoughts that I had no connection to, I could not relate to them anymore. 2. Confusion Suddenly I had no idea why I am in this situation. Why did I take acid? Why am I listening to strange sounding music that I enjoyed just a few minutes ago? Why am I so confused? I had zero context to what I was doing or why. It seemed completely bizarre. I had no ground, nothing I could be sure of, everything seemed alien, even the thought that I am part of a family. It felt like something has slowly showed a crowbar into my mind and then, with a sudden jerky movement clamped it sideways. I tried to get a grip on reality by thinking about my little brother which normally brings about positive, warm associations in me - but not this time, I felt like a cold alien creature. I tried to eat the food that I love most, delicious mango - but it tasted like soap. 3. Psychotic reaction I was confused beyond comprehension. I thought that I must have taken something that was not real AL-LAD, something that fucked up my psyche, because this experience seemed to have no beneficial elements at all. I had no insights, no emotional releases just stupid confusion. It felt unbearable, I was convinced that "I did it this time". I have come to the logical conclusion that I must have taken a substance from a untrustworthy source (even though a tested the substance) and that I am legitimately mad now. At this point I had no hope that things can get better, I accepted that my life is over and that I will be in a madhouse from now on. I knew that I am not able to take responsibility for my own survival anymore and that I should contact a friend who can bring me into a hospital and help to distribute my materialistic possessions to my family members. 4. I called a friend By a miracle I managed to use a smartphone to call a friend to put the responsibility on her to hospitalize me. I was talking completely gibberish which made her laugh. For me it seemed rude that she laughed at my condition but it helped me a lot to hear her voice and to see her face (video chat). After about one hour of total confusion and alienation from everything I began to notice that by talking to her I was slowly regaining my cognitive abilities and after two hours I felt quite normal again and could laugh about it. 5. What was that? I don't know what to make out of this trip. Was the dose too high which caused my ego to snap? This theme of confusion is something that is recurring in some of my trips, this time it was by far the most intense. Some trips are very insightful and healing but sometimes it is just confusion. Do you have any similar experiences?

Because you are hit with such a powerful force you need to be alone to learn to stabilize the energy and balance everything and be the master observer you are out or you will be too Alien for the rest of the world. If you come out prematurely, everyone will think you are insane and crazy and it could backfire if you are not wise enough, no one will understand you nor will you be able to relate much to what's now so small and insignificant to you.

@GromHellScream ? Noted. You’re on my list of selves to dial into. Hopefully it turns out to be you you Lol Ethan’s life is quasi-normal Lol He attends the University of Oklahoma as a Philosophy major and student-athlete (gymnast). He watches YouTube, movies and TV shows in his free time. Sophisticated stuff like Science or History Channel shows but also more crude stuff like Family Guy, American Dad, Rick & Morty etc. He hangs out with some friends and teammates. He’ll drink occasionally at parties but has only gotten black-out drunk once. He usually just shoots for a nice buzz rather than getting drunk Lol That’s about where the normalcy ends... Ethan’s not a virgin but he’s never had a girlfriend. Not because he doesn’t want to, but because other people have a hard time relating to him. Relationships are built on the root word relate for a reason. It’s difficult to build up relationships with people who can’t relate with who you are. The reason that most people are unable to relate to Ethan isn’t because he constantly brings up existential topics. Ethan has tried to act as “normal” as possible around other people but his vibe is so strange and different that they get an immediate sense of something unknown from him. He knows this because he’s asked friends about what sort of vibe he gives off and his own parents have always jokingly called him an alien. Even his friends referred to him as an alien before they ever even heard him talk about existential topics. Nobody says these things with negative connotation. Ethan’s friends and family love him and show him respect but at the same time, they just don’t know what to make of him. But, Ethan is making more and more connections and relating to people on more and more levels to take care of this. There’s deeper strangeness in his life but this post is already long and I don’t want to bog you down with too much here. But feel free to ask me more anytime! I’m always down to get to know people? As for your last question: Yes, some of these other lives are concrete and physical in the same way your life is. Some are lighter and less physical while other are even heavier and more tangible. There’s infinitely many degrees of this tangibility and how real each life can feel