Hansu

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About Hansu

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  • Birthday 04/22/1994

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    Finland
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    Male

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  1. I "was" introvert when I couldn't make friends. Then I got friends, and I "was" extrovert about 80% of time, 20% of time I wanted to be alone in my room with nobody bothering me. I mean 80% of the time of a party I was extroverted, then around 11 o'clock I would escape to my room to be alone. All "introvert/extrovert" classification has done to me has been to limit me. It drove me to exclude introverted or extroverted behavior out of my life, making me unhappy when I did. The greatest lie of my life. I don't think its any kind of sign of "being sign of higher psychological/cognitive development", I think classifying yourself as one has the opposite implication.
  2. Funny thing, I just finished a 30 minute contemplation on a question "What kinds of void am I filling?" and now Im pretty sure that Im not addicted to anything else but negating the negative emotions caused by a bundle of fears. Not lack of anything physical, not even lack of sex, but fear of arbitrary social things. I have been trying to achieve internal peace through finding a partner, losing weight, quitting addictions but all it has done has sent me to an internal spiral of negative thinking, failure and distraction from my true needs. Thank all you kind people. You have helped me off the wrong path and shown and convinced me to walk down the one I need most right now. You have helped me to lay the groundwork and create a clear vision I need to weed out my fears, befriend my shadow and continue my path towards internal peace. I can feel that this is going to be my biggest, and the most painful self-help journey in my life. Thank you convincing me to go for it.
  3. Censorship is nice until they come for you. Ideally we would teach the people to choose their entertainment better, but instead we just use censorhip. Nowadays fair use is for those who have money and fame to fight for their right to fair use. Even big, respectable channels like Kurzgesagt are abusing their power to censorhip those who point out their lies. But lets not get political here. Leo, you are going through hell if you want to fight for your rights to restore that video.
  4. @DrewNows Hey, sorry for another slow reply. This may sound stupid, but what does a void look like? A few months ago I fixed my self-image problems regarding physical appearance. I did this through imagination and affirmations. However while the work removed my negative thoughts about my looks, it didn't really help me with any of my addictions. Would self-image problem still be considered as a void of some sort? Thanks!
  5. Awareness alone does not seem to be curative with some of my neurotic behavior, while it has cured some of my neurotic behavior instantly. Some of my behavour Im just... Aware of. I guess I have to take action to stop myself with the behavior? Im hoping the Shadow Dance has the answer for this question @MsNobody Great post! Very inspiring! Now that I think about it, I never tried to replace my addictions with anything(Im also at fault for judging my failure to quit). And unsurprisingly my addictions are worst in weekends when I most often lay around in my home "relaxing". The only thing I can imagine as enjoyable way to replace laying around my home all weekend is camping in the woods, but Im really unsure if its a good long term solution. But I'll keep your advice in mind and try and figure out something enjoyable to do to at least replace alcohol and to not fall back Do you mean self-talk as in probing your mind with questions to pick out the roots of your cravings?
  6. @Arcangelo Hey, sorry for the late answer Congraz on quitting alcohol! Its not easy. In my case my problem is a combination of addictions and my neurotic behavior I've discovered with the little amount of shadow work so far, and I have to admit that my ego IS big. Probably bigger than the average at my age, but luckily now I have tools to overcome it! Hopefully I'll be able to quit the worst addictions in 12 months or so. I wont rush it, it probably takes longer than 12 months to untangle an ego that has been inflating for over 20 years. Hopefully I'll at least reverse it to deflation. Wish you best too!
  7. This is perfect! Thanks!
  8. I live in a country where health care is free, so Im considered healthy if I can work and I wont get an appointment unless Im threatening to kill myself. Private psychotherapist would cost a fortune, I think Im going to try work it out myself, I've become good at just that I picked up Shadow Dance by David Richo today. Im planning to not quit my addictions, but to read the book and do the exercises for a month or two to really pick up the habit for this work before continuing to quit the addictions so I wont not dabble it (Im afraid zombie mode would overtake me over and ruin whatever progress I do with shadow work) Do you have any advice on starting up this work? Is there any specific meditation technique that could aid with shadow work?
  9. Good point During my last attempt I bought a lots of fruits to replace some of the sugar. My main source of food atm come from chicken, cow, rice, wok-vegetables and food-cream (I dont know what it is in english, food-cream is a direct translation) @salvijus Thanks, I'll check that out This makes a lot of sense to me, but where should I start looking? I have a good job, multiple friends, Im highly effective when im not in the zombie-mode and I have my future all planned out Only thing I can pinpoint that I crave, but miss at the moment is the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend with whom to spend time snuggling and all the other related stuff that comes with relationship. But it doesn't feel that bad and it doesn't feel like I absolutely have to have a relationship EDIT: I guess its time for me to finally start doing some shadow work
  10. I would love to make them understand that they live in the most beautiful and best country to ever grow up in People of my culture are one of the most unappreciative people I know when it comes to quality of life
  11. Whenever I try to quit an addiction, be that overeating, alcohol or sugar, I become a zombie. For years I have been trying to lose weight, cut alcohol and cut sugar. For years I have failed. For years I tried everything at the same time. Unsurprisingly, it never worked so 2 months ago I decided to postpone losing weight for later to have more energy for fighting alcohol and sugar (And now Im fatter than I have ever been in my lifetime) First I tried to lose sugar and alcohol at the same time. It was easy for 2 weeks, then one weekend I went on binge drinking and eating so I was back on square 1. After that I decided to quit one at time. First I tried to lose alcohol, so for 2 weeks I dropped the alcohol, went on an alcohol binge and that fucked up. Then I tried to lose sugar, and same story. What I've learned over the past few months is that when I try to drop an addiction, I lose all interest in visualization work, reading self help and basically I become unconscious. I waste time watching TV, porn, drop practicing my instrument etc. However, after a relapse I gain immense energy on doing chores, visualization, I drop TV, I eat healthier, I read books, I practice my instrument and to put it simply, I become the best version of myself. So, what should I do? I cant willpower my through the zombifying effect that the process of quitting an addiction gives me. Its too strong, and I always end up relapsing and not only losing weeks of effort put into the attempt, but I also lose a lot of time that I would have used on working on myself, hadn't I been in a zombie. Am I unconsciously avoiding emotional work? You know, that work that Leo is always talking about? How can I find strength to push through the zombie-phase and not relapse?
  12. @Truth Addict Thank you. This is clearing up a lot of guesswork out of where I want to aim with my spiritual work at the moment. Can you recommend any books that could help me with lowering my resistance to what is? Books that I've found helpful on the topic so far: The Power of Now, Sedona Method, Loving What Is, Psycho-Cybernetic Thanks!
  13. @Truth Addict I see. I realized that if I always stay present in the moment, then I would either act on thoughts I see as needing action, and drop thoughts that have no value to act on. Then I would not be tempted to not accept my present moment, because the present moment would already be the best state of my being. The need would simply not exist. Would this be a good way to move into more dominant state of inner peace, or should I learn to accept the current state as it is? Or in other words, hypothetically, if someone was beating me with a stick should I first accept and be in peace with the fact that Im getting beaten, or should I stop the man first and accept the beating later?
  14. @Truth Addict Are you speaking of happiness as we westeners know it as, or as something else? Often when Im driving to work or to home, I find myself spontaneously smiling. I shut off any distraction that is not the road, my senses sharpen, my awareness jolts up and my mind shuts down. Sometimes I am able to stay in the present moment for 5 minutes, sometimes 10-15 minutes. Only thing that breaks my mind's silence is random thoughts that come up, but go as fast as they came. Is this true happiness? Is this even happiness? @TheAvatarState After some contemplating I realized that when I was writing my opening post I was not afraid that I might begin to hang on this event I described as "turning page" but I was in fact hanging on it. I realized that I was afraid that I will most likely never feel these strong emotions I perceive as joy, as this page is practically the last page I turn before death. Upon realizing this my fear vanished. Thank you!
  15. I just finished my engineering degree and joined workforce in a company with very promising future. Im turning a page in my life, so to speak. For the past 2 weeks I have been dwelling on the memories of my life during the schooling. I feel happy and grateful for all the memories, good and bad. I learned something about all of those. However, I dont feel happiness for my experience in army, my previous school or my time working on the previous company. I only feel gratitude for those memories, not happiness. The only other past besides my time in the college I feel happiness for is my childhood, and what comes from childhood? Nostalgia. Wanting for the past. Dwelling in the past. While I know that dwelling and being happy for the memories I have gathered during the 5 years I studied for my engineering degree is great for destroying any negative false beliefs and neurotic afflictions the bad memories could leave their mark on me, I feel like Im creating false happiness connections to the idea of "turning page in life". When you are young you turn pages constantly. Young teen, teenage, high school, turning 18, college... You turn pages all the time. But when you go into workforce, what pages are there to turn during my next 60 years? Higher position and children, thats about it. I can already see how, in the near future say in 5 years, I begin to sabotage my career because Im secretly dwelling on the desire to "turn a page" in my life. Dwelling with happiness on this "turn of a page" is clearly creating very strong emotional bond with this idea of turning page. Is my fear rooted in nothing? Will enough meditation make me aware enough to not follow this false craving, if it does come up sometime in the future?