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I'm a newbie. Have been meditating for 2 months and practicing mindfulness throughout the day. I have guilt that I am unable to resolve. I have 3 older siblings, about 15 years older then me. I do not keep in touch with them often. I sort of ran away from the drama because I didn't want to get pulled into it at the time that includes nieces and nephews that were subject to the same things I was. I am not sure of anyones diagnosis. To make things short, amongst my siblings, there has been suicide attempts, heroin addiction, prostitution, bankruptcy, cheating, abuse, extreme anger, pill addiction, alchoholism and I just scratched the surface. Anyway, I am doing okay for myself with what I feel was little effort and honestly I have been kind of like a leaf in the wind. I have a hard time making decisions because I feel like my decisions are not good enough, not helping enough, or too selfish. Sounds silly, but I have a hard time gardening, playing music, having a pet, taking the kids to the park because I feel like its not helping anyone. But then I have guilt when the front of my house looks like crap, or I didn't take the kids to the park. I feel like I would like to learn skills but I always feel like its selfish but there is a part of me that wants to be selfish. I also have lived in fear of not doing so well in life because it runs in my family but I am getting over that. I want to seek truth but I know this is holding me back from being present. How do you reconcile this guilt to make decisions that will be aligned with your authentic self? I get that its an illusion but its so strong. I am sorry if this sounds silly. It really has had me stuck in life and not being able to fully enjoy it. I feel like I am leaving people behind. Thank you in advance. This site has been truly truly amazing.

I started consciousness work a few months ago as an emotionally wounded newbie, and I would still categorize myself as such. Though, thanks to some innate characteristics like my radical openmindedness and strong curiosity, I have been able to benefit from advanced personal development despite being a very low cconsciousness person. I initially thought I had my first no self experience several months ago when first starting but can realize that it was just delusion. This time was a totally different feeling. I was engaging in a self-inquiry session, and after about 50 minutes I felt a totally new sensation. The body felt like a mere object, a part of this endless nothingness. I can't aptly describe what happened since it only lasted three seconds or so, but I don't recall having experienced anything like that before. I should add that my conciousness and self actualization work has started to pay off. I had crippling anxiety, depression, fear, victim mentality, narcissism , entitlement, feelings of inferiority and superiority, over thinking, and many other severe neuroses. I had lost all my friendships, had to take time off from school, and was on the verge of suicide. After taking lots of action and serious study of multiple sources, I can actually say that I am decently happy most of the time. That aside, my experience of whatever that was was pure terror for the few seconds it lasted. Though it wasn't an ordinary terror such as a fear of some danger, rather a complete overwhelming awe of something that I just couldn't even grasp or adequately put to words. Since my experience was so brief, I don't know if this is at all a valuable insight or if my imagination was playing tricks on me. But something was different and I wanted to take note of it. Eager to hear your thoughts.

@Frogfucius A total man is neither extrovert nor introvert. Then you have the tranquillity of the introvert and the excitement of the extrovert. That's what a rich life has to be - the silence of the introvert and the joy of the extrovert, the centre of the introvert and the periphery of the extrovert. The introvert becomes more and more sad - silent of course, but not happy. The extrovert is very excited; the introvert is never excited. He remains calm and quiet, but calmness and quietude are not the goals of life. Ecstasy is the goal of life. Just to be calm and quiet can mean death, can mean suicide. You can dry up all the sources of life in you. You will become calm and quiet, all the fever gone, all the passion gone, all the lust gone - but then you are also gone. You are just an empty room, a negativity, a sort of absence, not a presence. You are not fulfilled. You cannot dance - you have nothing to dance about. You cannot sing. No song arises in your life because all songs dry up when love dries up. You can be with an extrovert, happily; you can relate with him. He is an excited being. He sings, he plays around... many games. He enjoys. Of course he is tense. He is never silent; that is his problem. Happiness is at a cost - that he loses tranquillity, equilibrium, balance. His excitement becomes more and more feverish, and there is every possibility of it turning into a delirium. The extrovert can be mad at any time; the breakdown can come very easily to him. He is so excited and so tense. He has no centre - just the revolving periphery.

Thats what jesus would say! Joking aside, you gonna die anyway. Isnt it more fun if you become aware of the you that never dies? You have been given this chance now and for whatever reason you gravitated towards this. And after all you wont die, only illusions will die. Its a journey of finding truth, not some suicide mission. The true you, they say, can never die. Of course that being the case it doesnt really matter if you get the realization in this lifetime or in the next 100. I feel that I owe it to myself to find the truth, so im on the path. Im enjoying the path. And observing the one that enjoys! I think it would be regrettable to turn away from working on inner peace and inner truth.

Firstly, nothing is egoic without ego. NO PHYSICAL ACTION OR OBJECT IS EVER EGOIC! EVER! Things become egoic when the ego gets a hold of it. I can use a fork egoically to murder your entire family. Or I can use the fork non-egoically to eat a salad. Even weirder, it's possible for me to use a fork to murder your entire family unegoically. That's right! I said unegoically! That's a bit of a stretch, but possible. An earthquake can kill a million people in the blink of an eye unegoically. Our aversion to death and murder is itself egoic. Secondly, even if my channel is egoic, for example, the point is to be moving towards egolessness. It's a long process. You can't just go to Walmart and buy egolessness off the store shelf. You have to bootstrap it from ego. Ego has to come to grips with the fact that it is self-limiting and must ultimately commit a noble suicide. That is the entire process in a nutshell. Your entire life is a game of you either moving towards that noble suicide or running away from it.

Animals experience everything as it is. Man does not, because his mental abstractions and ego get in the way. Animals are more in-tune with the fundamental nature of existence than man, because they are incapable of conceptualizing it. That said, some animals are capable of empathy, they do have a sense of self, and may even act altruistically. Whales and dolphins have been known to protect stray seals, and have also been known to commit suicide. I'd say the more complex the mind, the more conscious the animal. The more conscious the animal, the more they associate with mind patterns. But then they become less in-tune with their fundamental existence, which could be psychologically harmful for the individual... I don't know, I'm just throwing thoughts out here.

Well I haven't read that book, but I can make an empirical claim that you are wrong in this case. I have done psychedelics in times of despair with positive results, also there have been so many others that have. Look at ayahuasca for example, how many people do you think are drawn to go to the jungle because they are in a state of crisis? Sure, some people are there for the "fun" of it, but that is not a significant number. Visionary artist Alex Grey is another example, he was on the edge of suicide, having prayed to a god he didn't believe in the day before spontaneously trying LSD for the first time which radically changed his life. I am not saying one should take these substances when in crisis, because it can easily go bad. I am saying that what you are claiming is false, and frankly if you haven't done any psychedelics you shouldn't be making any sort of claims about them.

Sometimes or often. I find my self escaping into some fantasy about being famous or admirerd or being super human or stuff like that. Hockey pro, super soldier, artist. Iv started to think. Is that damaging to my self esteem? To have these idiolised images of how i wish i were all the time. Becouse i feel like absolut garbage all the time. I realy feel like im just a huge fail as a human. Realy massive fail. I sometimes find myself engagera in fantasis about being some extrodinary enlightened meditation master. And it feels like it ruins actual meditation. I feel kind of desperate in getting better to. I realy feel like just blowing my brain out from time to time and have suicide attempts every now and then. Im sure it will happen again. I feel so low it dosnt even mather what i do. Becouse it will change nothing about how i see my self. Iv done every drug there is. And generally irresponsible behaviours while driving etc just for the kicks without any regard for anything. I feel like i truly dont care about anyone else. And that kind of bathers me and not. Becouse ser other people having this sort of connection with others that just cant have. Even the wish to care more is just for me. I dont actualy care at all. I even went as far as to almost joining isis or some extremist group like that just to be part of anything. And get killed. Im desperate to get enlightend and thats not gonna happen comming from that position of mind im sure. But i just cant deal with it. I meditate like crazy just to get by. Becouse if i didnt i would go nuts in mather of days. Iv given up on life in a way. But still not. Im just getting by i dont actualy think i be getting somewere tho. I dont even bather trying. I just think that with time and daily meditation mayby i be alright. So i just go with that for now and just hope things will solve them selfs. I dont expect anyone to give a shit. But it was nice to get it out. Have nice day.

Neither would I. But I think there's something deep to be learned from primitive societies. In modern societies, the constant stimulants and chasing of egoic pursuits are what fog the mind for humans. That's why most modernized people aren't spiritual or in-tune with consciousness and existence. It feeds into an illusion that only continues to get stronger - just look at the rising depression and suicide rates among developed nations. Only through great suffering do modernized people find bliss and happiness, something that is already acquired by the primitive peoples.

We should all appreciate the joy that breathing, drinking water and eating healthy brings to us... It looks so simple. White american males must be too much in their stories.. The only reason i see for suicide is being tired of life because of not having enough for food/ water/shelter, so you cant keep your energy up. All madness is caused by the lack of resource. Otherwise you just need to start paying attention how good it feels to just breathe... Even if you've been bullied by someone etc or raped or whatever. Shame... Who cares, look how good it feels to breathe my ego loves to breathe too. Its reasonable.

I would say life is a nightmare for a lot of people, not just drug addicts. Depression and suicide rates have been on the rise for decades now, and will only continue to grow. Most of the people committing suicide in America? Middle class, white American males. Are these people who take their lives also not suffering, maybe more so than the addict? It got so bad they had to take their lives? Drugs, sex, money, partying, alcohol, TV, etc. don't cause suffering. They're merely distracting oneself from feeling the intense suffering they have by not being in the present moment and finding fulfillment by turning inward. But hedonists don't turn inward, do they? They seek pleasure through outside means.

Enlightenment comes to oneself depending on the path one takes. I believe that faster one throws themselves into the emotional fray, the sooner it will arrive however it greatly jeopardizes their sanity and life and they may seek suicide as a solution for their suffering. A life of small baby steps of personal growth will make such process a lot longer and perhaps one will miss the boat before they pass. But the length of time it takes should not at all be a focus. In fact enlightenment shouldn't even be a focus whatsoever. It should remain a 'cool thing to accomplish' and that's it. Take the desire out of such journey. By doing that you're already on the right track. In all honesty, it comes the fastest when one applies self-analysis and notes their neurotic behavior.

that is why you need help. you "tolerated". you are like a sponge. she can suck on it for the emotional juice she needs and spit it out when she wants to and suck on you "whenever" she likes without regards to your "being" and "feeling" of the moment. you are such a dush... just report her to the dorm manager or better, "find a temporary girl-friend to separate her out". she is messing up your life, bro. she threaten suicide? or you come again? i will record you and our conversation and put you on Youtube for the world to see. it works...no joke. You start with "my g/f can't leave episo #1"? you can take it down when she decided to leave.

Since she has already got around you before, she is convinced that you will buckle again. Are you giving her mixed signals by letting her into your room? You sound like someone plagued by guilt. Have a chat to a your personal tutor or make an offical complaint to a member of staff that she is threatening suicide. Tell them that she is harassing you and you would like her to stop. It's time to be serious about this if it is bothering you that much. Harassment can be draining and will impact on your studies.

Hey guys this is my first post I am currently a sophomore in college and live in the dorms. Over the summer I broke up with my girlfriend because she is a very negative, angry, and emotionally driven person and we had nothing in common. The problem I'm having is she lives in the dorms with me, just a floor under me. She is completely obsessed with me and will randomly come up to my room and immediately put me in a bad mood. I have worked on staying calm around her but after a while it seems impossible. She gets so mad and is always yelling and hitting me for no reason. Then I will ask her to leave my room and she will argue until she finally leaves and then will threaten suicide if I "don't maker her feel better" (which really means saying something that she can twist into thinking we will get back together.) She has coerced me into having sex or cuddling with her multiple times and has even gotten me to be fwb for a while. I did not want this I felt trapped and forced. I really wish I would never have to see her again, she is bringing me down emotionally and makes me not even want to leave my room for fear of seeing her. Any suggesttions for mentally dealing with this? All I've tried is willing myself to stay calm which can only work for so long .

Define self actualisation for you first. For a homeless man in NYC it's the accomplishment of a warm bed and hot food For a child in poverty it's the ability to provide clean water and tomorrow's meal For a mother with 4 kids it's to support and provide till they become independent For a girl with big dreams it's flashing lights and magazine covers For some it's enlightenment For others it's suicide For many it's religion For you? Who knows

Have equal attention to all of your emotions. Become distracted by one or more at first and gradually all of them. Forcibly induce an unconditionally calm and content state of mind during all of them; including happiness, so as to not act rash. This cocktail of emotions creates a seemingly impossible balance. Despite the differing emotions, they create a balance. The reason why is the same as how people are not as disturbed by the emotion they experience during movies. For instance, a scene about suicide from a brave teenager who takes the place of another and yet is the main character may induce anger, sadness, happiness, suffering, and also provide a burst of energy and inspiration. Try this exercise when you watch a well flavored movie or while you are going to sleep. Do not treat any emotion as poisonous. Instead, dive into what seems like fire only to find it to be light. This is why the differing emotions mix so well. It only seems like fire, but when you get past opinions and the futility of traditional and mainstream thought, it is light. This exercise can also be done with the five senses. Please leave comments about your own experiences.

@Gabriel David Gomez I've been thinking about this. The hedonistic growth of societies have caused us to suffer. Our mind doesn't know how to limit desire and say enough is enough, nor does it know how to not compare us to other people and perceive them as better off because they may have one materialistic thing that we don't have. It seems like a fundamental flaw of the human psyche, drilled in by societal conditioning. Depression and suicide rates have been on the rise for a while now. In 2010, for the first time in human's history, more people lived in cities than not. Urbanization is damaging to the psyche - stimulants are abound, families are broken up, there's nothing but competition in a never-ending hamster wheel, we're overcrowded and yet everyone feels like a stranger to us. We evolved from close-knit tribes, in forests and in nature. The underdeveloped societies are measured to be the most happy and fulfilled in life, counter-intuitively. Suicides and depression are swept under the rug, never reported on in the mainstream. Human psychology is never given a thought in mainstream society, because it doesn't serve the hedonistic nature of itself. These are just my theories, of course. I find it to be true in my own life.

Can people relate to that feeling when you want to do something and finally get yourself together and pursue this something, but am faced with social resistance in the face of which you begin to doubt yourself intensely - is what you fight for even right, good, worthwhile, etc.? It is important to understand that this question comes from a place of great misery, feeling both lost and alien in the world. Paul Chek once said "I'm normal, humanity is sick." Teal Swan touched on the issue, I believe, in her post about authenticity and how the anti-Teal campaigns made her feel like her existence is wrong, "This very train of thinking is what led to my suicide attempts years ago." The situation is that I live at home and am currently somewhat frowned upon by my family. I do remember that topic back from the birth of the forum where the consensus of people stated that they don't share nor tell friends and relatives about their interest in PD, but this is difficult wrt diet, fitness and meditation, among other things. There seems to be a run and retreat mechanism: I will try to implement something or make a change. Testing the waters, momentarily unveiling parts of the facade (that I believe most people create, read 'The Drama of the Gifted Child'), but once scorned sufficiently, I revert. As you might imagine, this causes great confusion and self-doubt. Since early childhood I have sensed a hypocritical attitude in others where they idly aspire to certain ideals (health, success, etc.) - yet simultaneously almost keep others down in their pursuit of those very ideals. And this behavior absolutely baffles me. I don't think there is any point to describe the situation any further. Fill in the blanks. I hope that I managed to convey the gist of the topic that I want to raise a discussion about. How can you possibly work with your parents rather than against them? Does self-actualization work have to be this strenuous?

Um I think most of the world's population is glad to have been born. Don't overestimate how bad life is before enlightenment. The egoic mind causes suffering but there are still good times in life, and those good times make the suffering worth it. Especially if you have a life purpose and are doing personal development. Personally, even when my ego has gotten out of control to the point where I thought about suicide I never regretted being born in the first place. And since you say that we're all better off dead, what are your reasons for not killing yourself?

@username If you do a copy/paste with your consciousness, then no problem. You have a clone that thinks like you or whatever and you still get to live. If you do a cut/paste, then the "cut" part means you kill yourself. You don't sound like you're advocating mass suicide, but unfortunately, a lot of people sound like they do. @Leo Gura No, actually it's been done for the first time recently. It says brain-to-brain, but actually it's brain-to-computer-to-brain. So it seems like your prediction has an error of hundreds of years. No it doesn't require you to know anything about consciousness. You just have to plug wires at the right place and Boom! You know the internet like the back or your hand. You plug some more and Boom! You have a hundred different senses, instead of the usual five. A few more wires and Boom! Enlightenment can be pursued without all the distractions and traps that usually get in your way when doing self-inquiry. It's obviously simplified, but you get the point. That's where we totally agree. I want to become a robot by incrementally modifying my brain in a way that I always wake up after the operation and it just felt like a normal nap. This way I don't even have to get into the whole consciousness debate. The key here is incremental change. You're already doing it every night. Why not improve the process?

@Electron Pleasure implies there is an opposite: pain. Enlightenment has no opposites. it is peace. Peace with what is. That is why I pursue enlightenment. The second reason for me personally is Truth; I want to know what is the Truth. But yes, on the other hand, you might want to promise your mind/ego some pleasure to convince it to commit suicide. Maybe that is comparable to Islamic promises (I am no way expert in that field BTW) that if you kill your Self, you will get some virgins in the end. Isn't that the promise of peace after your ego is annihilated? If so, it is completely misinterpreted by Islamic suicide bombers....

From the article, "Family Matters- Sadhguru Speaks About His Family" For some reason we could not complete the consecration at that time. So on that full moon day, she sat with a group of people, meditating. Eight minutes later, she left, without any effort and with a big smile on her face. She was at the peak of her health, just thirty-three years of age. It is not easy to leave like this without causing any damage to the body. Just walking out of your body like you drop your clothes and go is not an ordinary thing. When a person has reached that point in his life when he feels everything that he needs is fulfilled, and there is nothing more to see in his life, he drops his body, willfully. If there is any struggle or injury, it means suicide. When there is no struggle, when somebody just walks out like he walks out of a room, that’s Mahasamadhi. Once a person leaves like this, that person is no more. When somebody dies, you say they are no more, but that’s not true. They are “no more” the way you know them, that’s all. But once a person leaves in full awareness, shedding the body without causing any injury or damage to the body, that person is truly no more. That person doesn’t exist as a being anymore. They have just melted away, the game is up, completely. For all spiritual seekers, Mahasamadhi is the ultimate goal – the very culmination of their sadhana to dissolve into Divinity.

Week 4 *** Hours Sat: 105 Hours sat this week: 29 Current daily average: 3.75 Experiences: The opening sit of the week was one of the worst experience I've had in my entire life. My alarm went off at 4:00am but I only started at 4:30 because it was freezing and I was feeling lazy. The first few minutes were pretty normal but I lost track of time completely after that point. Gradually the resistance welled up inside of me like battery acid was leaking over my organs. My heart started pounding, I started shaking. It felt like my head was going to explode, both from the physical feeling of pressure and the barrage of thoughts that started hitting me from all sides. As the resistance deepened I started to feel physically ill all over my body, like my veins were filled with hot tar. I remember once I drank an entire bottle of vodka on a night out and ended up begging for death on the floor of a nightclub toilet. This was exactly like that, combined with strong negative emotions and negative thought. I started retching; physically trying to vomit, my stomach was empty though so nothing came up. My room couldn't have been more than 5 degrees but I was drenched in sweat. I just sat there and remembered Mooji talking about Sri Ramana Maharishi: I said to myself “there's nothing back there for you” The pain in my ass, knees, back and ankles intensified as time progressed. I literally felt like a resistor in a circuit would feel if it had a nervous system and gradually had more and more electric current pushed through it with increasing voltage. I have no idea how long this lasted but it felt like a thousand years. Then in the space of about 5 seconds I dropped into a new dimension. It felt like bomb diving into a swimming pool where the implosion of cool water hits your entire body at once. Every single muscle in my body relaxed and I went into deep REM. All of the activity of my mind ripped apart like an engine that had run past its max rpm and had run out of oil. All words lost their meaning and I separated out from the mind completely, I could "see" it just as a movement of energy in front of "me". The pain in my body/emotional centres felt like it was being sucked out of me. A bit like if you open all the windows of a house on a hot summers day and a cool breeze rushes in. The really painful parts of my body still felt the same but the relationship to the pain changed 100%. If you are holding your hands in a fire it's excruciating but if your hands are near a fire on a cold day its beautiful. In both cases the fire is the same. The pain was the same before and after “the drop” but now the pain was kind of beautiful. This is the best analogy I could come up with. I finished the sit, everything was completely the same as before; I felt “normal-ish" is what I mean, but I was still completely blown away by what had happened. I didn't know suffering could just stop so rapidly like that and I didn't know it was possible to go so far out of the mind. I've observed thoughts before but this was like a whole new layer of depth that was added, beyond description. I did 3 more 3 hour sits on Monday and then 4 3 hour sits on Tuesday. *** Every day when my alarm goes off my inner voice goes “I'm up, I'm up, I'm up” and then I reach over and turn it off. On Wednesday for some reason my alarm went off and I said to myself “I'm awake, I'm awake, I'm awake” and I turned it off. I sat for a few moments and then just burst out laughing. I'm awake. Of course! I'm awake! That's all I've ever been! I've experienced this fundamental shift many times but it's still just as surprising and relieving to realise it again. I instantly shifted from bear down to ease up meditation. I was beginning to get abiding paraesthesia down the front of my legs so I switched to sitting in a chair. It was just sitting, no effort or determination or willpower, I wasn't trying to sit still. I also wasn't just sitting physically, internally I was just sitting in “awake-ness” I prefer to say this instead of awareness because it's easier for me to understand and feel, but its consciousness/god/the witness/awareness that I'm talking about. I took my seat fundamentally as the awakened mind. This is where “choosing” enlightenment becomes possible. This guy articulates what I was trying to describe a few weeks ago with the term "willing": … And so I sat, like a king I consulting with his people I practised recognising my “awake-ness” in everything that happened to me. [sound] bird chirps (ok next) [feeling] peaceful sensations in thorax (ok next) [thought] You're not awake (ok next) [thought] (in response to previous thought) LOL! what the fuck are you talking about, of course he's awake it wouldn't be possible for you to exist if he wasn't awake. (ok next) [sound] dog barks (ok next) [physical sensation] PAIN (ok next) [thought] mental image of me writing about this (ok next) [thought] you should stop updating your journal, enlightened people are quiet (ok next) [feeling] feeling of shame (ok next) … and so on. There's no attempt at manipulation, just allowing everything to be as it is when it arrives, when its present and when it leaves. It's tricky to talk about because I've heard the same things over and over again, but now I actually get it. Its so obvious and at the same time paradoxically impossible, there isn't anyone to do non-manipulation, awake-ness is already the substrate in which everything happens, like fish swimming in the water. Everything that happens is only possible because I'm awake, of course I'm not awake, I'm in that which is awake. I just continued sitting in a chair. A chair is much easier because there's not as much pain and you don't have to concentrate so much on your body sensations/posture. I didn't record these hours, so all of my recorded hours are those that I spent meditating on my knees in front of a wall. *** On Friday it happened, what I've been trying to get to. I sat down and just kept watching and allowing, letting my resistance gradually erode away and at one point I was just awake. I heard the sound of the birds chirping but it was just the bird chirping. Not like bird over there, I'm here, oh there's the beginning of the bird chirping and now its done, no: JUST THE BIRD CHIRPING. I looked at the wall and all there was just the wall, tears were streaming down, laughter happening, dog barking, pain happening. This is literally impossible to describe because its so present there isn't even anyone there to collect details to write about, storing memories, thinking up analogies, shit just happens. I've only experienced this for a few brief moments in my life but only under extraordinary circumstances, never as result of meditation. I suspect that as I continue practising and eroding away my ego structures through the process of purification these states will become more frequent/permanent. I now really, really get what Adyashanti was talking about in the first video I linked to in my first post, its a state of willingly allowing yourself to fall away by taking your seat as consciousness - a ritual suicide ha ha. I thought I got it before, and I kinda did but now its become a fully realised teaching in me, purification has become conscious; I've developed the taste for it. I don't have to motivate myself into sitting anymore. I want to sit for 6 hours a day now. The process is quite terrifying, even outside of meditation. As I'm typing this I'm feeling the joints of my fingers scattering randomly around some keys, stringing together words out of nowhere to create something that has meaning. It's all happening on it's own and I have no control over any of it. I don't even have control over the fear that comes up as a result of realising that I have no control. All I can do is watch. All I shall do is watch with equanimity, and allow that aspect of me to gradually subside, and I know it's going to take as long as it takes. *** I'm going to add notes to my journal because there are so many things I want to document. I don't intend to try and teach or explain anything for its own sake. I just want to document how I'm thinking/feeling/rationalising through this process so that I can see any traps that I fall into and in the event of something bad happening, my notes will serve as an example of what not to do. I've found journaling to be a really useful tool to gaining insight into myself. DO NOT take anything I add here as gospel, or right, or wrong for that matter. Its just a journal and I'm still very immature spiritually so I don't really know what I'm talking about. These are some videos/speeches/songs that I used to watch to help G-up emotionally and psychologically in addition to my vision video. i don't need them anymore, but they were useful for me so I'll share them: Videos: An Invocation for Beginnings Meet the Hero Go all the way Lil dicky album trailer Olan rogers apparel adverts; good balance of hilariousness : seriousness because that's what the spiritual journey is. Spring Fall Songs: Extrodanary machine Yellow Flicker Beat

@Mal @Kenya My concern is that: I, (future-higher-forum-status-me, and potentially current high-status others) may be taken more seriously than I/we should be..... Actually Mal, you got me thinking about this, in relation to these titles...when you said how "you" (myself and some others) don't know what we are talking about....I thought how true that is.... there are people bringing up serious topics in their lives (even suicide etc)... the story you provided was actually a perfect example of what I am saying.... so, Are venerable members potentially imbuing more trust/ value/ truth into the suggestions they receive from others?... and.... Is this potentially, dangerous, or unhealthy for lost souls at times? I don't feel that I have personally constructed any sort of hierarchy... but who knows?... I feel that the actual names of these titles, inherently denote a hierarchy in themselves...given the dictionary definition of each status.... that said, you are probably right, that I have over-constructed this mentally...made things seem more significant than in the universal reality...I had only guessed that the intended purpose for increasing levels of status may have been to help newbies find mentors...I have no idea if that is actually why the status titles are there...I still don't really get it... are they just to encourage posting? Mal, I am so sorry that you have felt pressured to coach, that shifty/unfair....(they could at least pay you, kidding). Personally, I believe that there are lessons we can all learn from each other... and status is irrelevant in this regard... an individual just beginning to explore consciousness, may surpass most others in a specific realm of thought, where their unique mental skills are truly able to excel.... and the opposite is also possible, even for experienced personal development mentors...