zenjen

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About zenjen

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    USA (EST)
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    Female

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  1. @Leo Gura You know sometimes I actually wonder this about famous people lol
  2. Beautiful voice. Reminds me a bit of Idina Menzel
  3. @Erlend K great advice!
  4. Verse 1: What's this feeling inside? I tried to run, but now I cant hide Never thought that love could ever feel this good Always gave more than I should But now it seems like it's worth a try 'Cause I could never imagine life without you By my side Chorus: So let's run away, run away From this place We can get away, get away From this craziness Come follow me, follow me Lets see where it leads We'll be happy, happy Once we're finally free! Maybe this will help spark some ideas! Cheers
  5. "God Is... Perhaps the closest way to describe 'God' is in paradoxes. It is everything and nothing at once. It is everything you can and can't perceive. It hides in plain sight. It is simple yet unfathomable. People then say "it is infinite being". Obviously, all these different words can cause more confusion, if you are too attached to the words." - From my journal entry in Make Happy
  6. No self-respecting person actually cares if you are more enlightened than them or not. It does not make you a special snowflake in the least. Let your spiritual practice bring you joy, but understand it does not make you better than anyone else who practices something.
  7. This changes based on the individual. The more of your spirit you put into something, the more spiritual the practice becomes. My most spiritual practices are drawing and designing things that I think are beautiful.
  8. I have the same experience. I was never into porn, and I never even masturbated for a long time. I much prefer real intimacy over watching other people have sex, it just doesn't turn me on. I bought myself a vibrator and still don't watch porn, but I can still get off in my fantasy mind. Claim your sexuality for yourself, find out what you do and don't like. It's completely valid to not like porn and doesn't make you prude-ish in the least. <3
  9. Why So Serious? "We need not worry for we are never broken beyond repair." So I noticed there's an epidemic on this forum of people taking themselves far too seriously. I myself am very guilty of this, some days I think my problems and shortcomings and proving my misfortune to others are some of the most important things I should be focusing energy on. I think sometimes we like to feel validated in this way. But, life isn't meant to be serious. There's literally nothing to do here but simply to live. So what if you never get to the root of your childhood issues, so what if your relationship with your family sucks, so what if you can't seem to ever finish anything you start. SO WHAT IF YOU BECOME ENLIGHTENED. Congrats, you spent half your life in solitude in an empty room, but hey, you do you. As Leo might say, stop your "should" statements and start living life for what it is, which is in the end just one big complex game that you will never be able to win or lose. The fact that there isn't a prize to be won, no real point in life, isn't depressing. It's uplifting if you look at it in the right context. You can create the meaning yourself or with people that you love. My life purpose wasn't thrust upon me in a single moment of clarity, I wrote it for myself and I continue to do so. In this process, I edit, revise, and move pieces around daily in order to maximize my fulfilment. You never stop learning, so your purpose should never stop changing. Let this inspire you and not scare the shit out of you.
  10. Better Man So I went on a date yesterday with the guy I've been crushing on for a long time. He's almost like my twin, we see life the exact same way and seem to want the same things out of life. He seems to be almost effortlessly enlightened. The day was amazing, we waded and made out by the river by my house. He loves it out in the country where I live, he's never been. But, I couldn't help thinking about someone else who has been on my mind for a while too. Someone who I poured my heart out to and didn't want any part of it. Do I even deserve someone who likes me so much? Should I rip this off early like a band-aid? I'm not sure, maybe I'm just not ready for anything serious yet. But I know this guy I went out with likes me A LOT, and he's such a sweetheart. I've never felt this way before; torn between someone who wants me and someone who doesn't. Any advice would be appreciated.
  11. MY MANS LEO CALLED HIMSELF OUT LOL!
  12. Life Improvements Talking to and hanging out with friends again Getting into a regular nighttime and morning routine Working on a passion project Keeping my room nice and clean/organized Memory improvement Finding out what I like again, not what my partner liked Making to-do lists again Exercising regularly Promoted at work, getting attention from my manager for showing so much initiative Found a roommate for August Not responding to guys who are hitting on me just because they are giving me attention now that I'm single again Having an "if it's meant to be, it'll happen for me" attitude towards life Came to orgasm for the first time without anyone's help *NSFW Setbacks Started smoking cigarettes again, but I have faith that I can cut back and then quit Screwed up my sleep schedule last night by going to bed late
  13. @Truth nowhere haha I’m just starting a new journal called “the alchemist” the “make happy” chapter is over
  14. My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy What I've Overcome Depression/most anxiety/bipolar disorder Suicidal Ideations for almost 15 years Coming clean about old childhood memories that caused me trauma Two stays at the mental hospital Hallucinations Social Anxiety Fear of dying Codependency Nihilism What I've Learned Integrity over everything Let yourself feel your emotions, sit with them until they disappear Energy and anxiety can be channelled in a healthy way through artistic pursuits I am being divinely led through this life Everything you truly want manifests itself before your eyes, learn from the hard times Life doesn't actually suck, it's meant to be a journey of learning Everything and everyone is connected to each other, we are all made of the same energy manifested in different forms Reality is like a mirror image reflecting back on itself People aren't actually as bad as you think Love what you have been given in this life Have faith in a higher source My purpose in life is to help others
  15. It is written I feel like it's finally time to close this chapter of my life. It's been one hell of a ride. Thanks to all who believe in me and continue to believe in me. My story is dedicated to you. You’re on your own from here, so are you happy?