So Overwhelmed I Can't Figure Out/do Anything

[kieranperez]

My efforts to change and turn things around just seem to be so futile. Just to even take the first step. I'm struggling so much with simply even setting goals. I'm so mad that I'm just being a fucking sloth but when I try to stop being so lazy and stuck in comfort I get so full of frustration because I just have "nothing going for me nor anything to go off of." 

I feel like this mess of being an addict to negative self talk, comfort/laziness, overthinking, and just being a downright victim but because I'm aware I'm being a victim, instead of self loathing, I just keep kicking myself in the ass and get so fucking angry. Like, I'll be in the car and sometimes I just can't help but just yell on top of my lungs, "CAN I JUST FUCKING DO SOMETHING ALREADY! I ALREADY HATE ALL THE WAY IM LIVING! HOW MUCH MORE NEGATIVE DO I NEED TO FEEL TILL I LAYOUT A GODDAMN PLAN AND START SOING SOMETHING?!" Which of course makes things worse.

Whether I try to slow down or be a little tough on myself, I just feel so goddamn stuck within myself. 

???

[Visitor]

Don't worry, most of us who have an impasse/deadlock are not yet motivated enough to be willing to go to any lengths. Many in this situation have to get sick and tired of being sick and tired. Some even have to truly get mangled egotistically before surrendering it. And there are the unfortunate few how get so deluded by this that they end up thinking they are a mistake and rather die (suicide) than live another day with the impasse. However, there is a shortcut.

Take a risk!

Do the opposite. Feel lazy? well take a risk and go for a quick walk around the block. Can't set a goal? Take a risk and break your goal into smaller digestible/achievable pieces (one nail at a time so to speak). Negative self-talk? Take a risk and talk aloud your positives. Getting angry? Take a risk and calm down, be soft and gentle.

[Leo Gura]

@kieranperez That's where it all starts. Totally normal. Just make a commitment to make babysteps and not quit. Failure isn't a problem so long as you keep taking babysteps and don't quit in frustration. Start with small habits like just reading a self-help book every day for 30 minutes.

Don't go comparing yourself to me or anyone else. Most of us had to start in a shitty place. It's just been years and years of work.

This work requires great patience and a long vision.

[egoeimai]

@Leo Gura what do you mean thats well it all starts?  A beginning to a worse life?  I hope not 

[Pluck]

16 hours ago, Visitor said:

Some have to truly get mangled egotistically before surrendering it (figuring things out). (...)

Take a risk!

Do the opposite. Feel lazy? well take a risk and go for a quick walk around the block. Can't set a goal? Take a risk and break your goal into smaller digestible/achievable pieces (one nail at a time so to speak). Negative self-talk? Take a risk and talk aloud your positives. Getting angry? Take a risk and calm down, be soft and gentle.

This is what Leo means. Some have to simply hit the bottom to set off going up again. Things will be better naturally, but that doesn't mean it'll happen all by itself. It won't. You need to take action. Action can be taken in many different ways. Visitor exemplified concretely how you can go about it. 

[Sukhpaal]

Don't worry brother. The progression will come as long as you're willing to put in the work. Take baby steps or else homeostasis will bite you in the behind! Haha, but yeah just start small and over time you can take bigger and bigger steps. I know exactly how you feel because I was at the bottom of the hole when I first started personal development. Believe you can do it and put in the work. I believe in you man! Stay motivated!

[Ananta]

@kieranperez Use the desire to end your suffering as fuel to motivate yourself. If you can't set goals right now, then dont. Watch videos, read a book, ect. 

[severedfred]

Well, Leo said it.

Just wanted to tell you I started out in the same place. Might help supporting the fact that it's where the Journey starts for many people. 
Remember that self development is hard, that isn't something "people just say", and most people can't suffer thru the worst parts of it. Most quit where you are now. 

Its seams impossible, you don't see the way out, you can't possible understand how those little shitty things you try to do will actually change anything right? Well, just go back to what Leo laid out for you: make baby steps and do not quit. 

That might be something thats good for you to say to yourself every day. Like an affirmation. Here is what I would have said to myself in that part of my journey: 

Right now, it feels like I'm not growing or going anywhere. 
That is how resistance feel, and doesn't mean that I'm stuck. 
Just by thinking about my situation, and what I want to change, i move forward.
I am not in a hurry, when I feel stressed or angry it means Im inpatient. 
It means I'm trying to get to far, to fast. When I feel overwhelmed, it means 
im not satisfied with my current situation, and I start to think about all the things 
I want to change, and I do to much at once. That makes me more stressed, and make me hard on myself.
That really doesn't help me, at all. 
Instead, I take a long deep breath and remember that I have a lot of time. 
I also remember to trust in the ones who done this journey before me, who 
tell me that the key to where I want to end up, is in taking small steps every day. Small steps, every day!
Therefore, I keep calm, and have kind eyes on myself as I mindfully do these small steps. 
I will end up where Im supposed to, if I just do one small step today. 
What small step can I do today? 

That is what I would recommend myself if I could talk to a younger me. My only commitment would be to read this every morning. 
Thats all. The text going to navigate you on the path, don't worry about that. Just chill out man, be more kind to yourself. 

You could write your own text, but that is hard in the beginning, to see what to focus on. What you can do, is to change the last mening to:
I will watch one video of Leo every day. That is also good, might be even better. This is how it will go: 

The way from where you are now to a more advanced PD and a better life, is knowledge. 
You might think is action, but its not. The actions will slowly develop and come naturally from the knowledge you gain. 
Problem is you trying to implement to much while knowing to little. (I believe). 

So if you only commit to reading this text every morning, the text will navigate you to watching a Leo video. 
And Leos videos, no matter which ones you watch, will keep navigate you in the right direction. Just by teachings. 

Well, Im no guru, but I can really relate to your struggle, and this would have help me a lot, and still do. The overwhelming part is really hard. 
Just commit to one thing, that leads to another that leads to another, that also remind you to be calm and patient, and remind you of you negative thinking and bad believes, that way, it will always be in your awareness, and in your awareness they will be dissolved, IN TIME. Your a human being, you designed to grow. This text is designed to keep you aware of you problems, and point you in the right direction every morning. Your human nature and need for growth will do the rest. Just relax.

I hope this help you in some way, take what you like and throw the rest in the trash brother. Peace

Edited August 24, 2017 by severedfred

[sgn]

Start with a daily practice of gratitude. It doesn't have to take more than 5-10 minutes.
As long as you're doing this you know you are moving forward everyday in some way even if it's a little bit, when other habits might be on and off.
You'll feel you aren't completely stuck even if you start all over with other things.