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- read books, took notes, consumed other creators content, took baby steps - went to a 10 day naturopathy healing center, got rid of withdrawls & depression - enrolled in local commerce college just to have a degree - started supporting my father in our traditional family business.. I was super-lucky to have this time of exploration without having to worrying about career/finances - joined other skill based classes in local which made me social, functional and intellectual again - I discovered my passion for philosophy & psychology.. even enrolled in distance learning psychology degree (didn't continue it after 2nd year as I got way better knowledge through YT and other self-study means) - got to know about god/awakening/spirituality which blew my mind again.. but this time out of curiosity rather than suffering - I din't care about anything else other than this - It was like I contemplated on this for most of my waking time..kind of like Self-Enquiring 4 hours daily for years - Did Vipassana, Inner engineering and other Yoga programs by Sadhguru, tried mushrooms and ayahuasca - and finally understood what God, Leo, other teachers were trying to communicate with me - It's that - 'It is what I say it is' or 'I am what I say I am' or rather 'what I choose I am' - Not what God says, but what I say - And that was my moment of realization From Monk-mode to Work-mode - Then what? A field of infinite possibilities opened up for me - I immediately moved out (my parents tried their best emotional blackmail to stop me lol), took a content writing job as writing was a skill I trained to a degree (my cover letter was so good, they didn't even bother asking about my credentials) - Gained experience, confidence and marketing knowledge - Shifted back to my hometown, this time out of genuine desire to support my father and grow our family business. - tried bunch of different stuff too like stock trading, teaching, writing..did Life Purpose course again - Have been having best relationship with parents since then.. not because I listened to them and came back to join our edible-oil trading biz (that I left again as my father found my ideas way too radical) but because I've got the backbone of self-respect and genuine love for my parents. Their manipulations seem like child's naughtiness to me. And I can clearly see their love for me in certain actions. We love spending time with each other. but coming back to our work discussion, - only a few months back finally finalizing to make my career in copywriting and marketing - did a few online courses and have been pursuing freelancing since then - I can't put into words the level of clarity that I have now. My mind works like a flowing river when I intend and focus it like that. Now why did I share my history in such detail and how does it relate to your situation? how you might benefit from this? I will like to mention a few key points that will help you sort things up: 1. Getting into a state of happiness first, before trying to figure it all out Note that it took me far too much time to figure it all out. Heck, many people still haven't figured it out. See what you're saying is that - I will only be happy when I have certainty about my future. And we are saying that - don't worry about it so much as of now, take a chill pill do what needs to be done like confronting your parents and let them know that you don't want to continue engineering or whatever your take is have patience, do the right things - like getting any basic job that pays the bills, explore your interests, etc etc.. hey and even leo's new course is also coming, aren't you excited for it?? If I were at your place I would postpone dying until then 😄 (hey sorry didnt mean to joke about it..i could never know your pain and I wish you fast healing) once you have the right state of mind, right careers will appear in front of you like a shining diamond. You wouldn't be able to miss them even if you try. You will just know that this is the thing for me and I will achieve the highest possible success in this. 2. Making your parents proud vs making yourself proud Please don't even think of taking your life away (now don't say it is automatic.. we do have the ability to direct our thoughts.. please steer your car to make a U turn) I can't even imagine the suffering my parents would go through if I ever did suicide. It kills me to imagine that Dude, you need to first experience what being a parent is like. Only then you will be able to appreciate their love for you. Forget dying, you will wish you could serve them for all your life I am getting a taste of this just by becoming a dog-parent. Being a parent is like nurturing an extension of yourself So what if they weren't able to nurture you the way you wanted? They did the best they could They didn't have the level of information distribution as we have in this age. But that doesn't mean they should be punished for being ignorant. Yes you don't want to punish them, but they will surely experience it as punishment One good idea I will like to share with you that I have as my aim is - how about forgiving them for whatever shit, and becoming parent to your parents? I will make myself proud when I am able to fully do that. In doing that, I don't care if they get ashamed of me.. (honestly I do care, but not more than making myself proud) 3. Unlocking your genius I am cent percent sure that there is a talent within you that is waiting to be honed, waiting to be appreciated I am not saying this to cheer you up or anything, I am saying this with having a deep understanding of how life operates The fact that you were considering taking your life says that you have so much repressed energy that is seeking expression Also the fact of changing careers shows you are wise as Leo mentioned. You like to think far ahead and can't pursue something which you don't see blossoming into something great.. This is good however don't discount the process by which this discovery/unlocking of genius happens. For you to find your niche/field of expertise or whatever you want to call it, it is necessary for you to go through this frustrating phase of dissatisfaction with current career choice.. You see, there's a flow here.. from discontentment to contentment.. So according to me, this current event is a call for you to seek your calling As Leo said in his videos, make finding your life purpose, your life purpose!

First of all, wow dude, hats off to your ability to express your emotions so clearly 👏🏻..I can literally FEEL your frustration radiating through my screen. Secondly, I was kinda in a similar situation as you, so I can relate to you better than most here. (I also wasn't able to get into a college I so badly desired 😞) The feeling of being so far behind in your development compared to where you imagined yourself to be is one of the worst. But hey do you want to know a deep truth about you? You may already be knowing this, consider this as a reminder. You have extraordinarily high standards for yourself 🤩 (which is super-amazing btw, but tricky and needs to be channelized properly) Which is why you took time to decide your majors, which is why you are changing your majors again, which is why you considering suicide..because perhaps it's too late to become what kind of person you wanted to be. (its actually not but we will come to it later) Before you decide what next thing you want to do - may it be talking to your family member, discussing your problem on forum, analysing your career options again, do anything harmful in your powerful super-frustrated state etc etc Are you interested in knowing my story in brief of how I went from - Being a 4-times college drop-out a family disappointment hardcore smoking addict feeling psychotic af..(to a point where I thought I will have to spend my life in a mental hospital), being used by my ex teased by friends feeling like a loser etc To Starting my freelance copywriting/marketing business (expecting $5k/per month by December end and $25k/per month in 3 years time) simultaneously working on 2 other big business ideas (vision book ™️ creation service (demo ready and testing now ) plus an absolutely radical addiction recovery app) Exploring song-writing and composing (made around 10 already with each having atleast 4 different versions (psstt..i am using Claude ;)) family's favourite (without being too much successful in my career yet) Still living with my family & cherishing every moment (they know I am moving out soon and we are in this bitter-sweet phase of deep authentic connection🥹) Feeling the healthiest, free from all addictions, most sane I have ever been, living my life purpose to its fullest. Healed toxic dynamics with ex, now we have love for each other, but due to different preferences we have moved on Friends holding me in high regards and started to make high-conscious & rich friends Feeling like a god walking among gods, etc No I am not trying to sell you anything lol 😂 😂 😂 Nor I am trying to prevent you from doing stupid (I fear uttering that word) I am only interested in recognising your inherent talent, sharing it with you and motivating you to pursue it through my example. I will keep it super-brief - 400-500 words maybe. In the end, I will also share a career path that I think will be ridiculously awesome for you. If you don't reply anything along the lines of 'No, not interested' in 15-20 mins, then I will share it. Thanks for reading

@Husseinisdoingfine You are still hoping to solve this problem by comitting suicide, I understand, but be aware you are not in a good state of mind right now, don't make important decisions in a bad state of mind. Do you want to talk privately? You literally have a lot of potential from seeing and knowing your previous posts, don't waste it brother. It will be alright, trust.

Is any of that "known " ? I have no problem with any story you fabricate to explain existence but at some point you just need to get that you got not the slightest idea who you are ..what the world is or what anything is . Then maybe you look into the hungry mouth of death spread wide open ready to swallow you into the unknown. If One embraces the unknown..they will never suicide. They will never even know how they will behave in their lives in a better place than what they are.

Nice video overall. The version of postmodernism you’ve presented is mostly just Derrideanism, where it’s all about deconstruction and endless reinterpretation. However, many postmodern thinkers grappled deeply with what comes after "déconstruction" and weren’t simply nihilistic academics. When Nietzsche (who, for some reason, you haven’t mentioned once throughout the entire talk) famously proclaimed the death of God—i.e., the death of grand narratives—in his 1882 work Die Fröhliche Wissenschaft (The Gay Science), this was only the beginning of what is considered his "mature works." It also marked the start of his Umwertung aller Werte ("revaluation of all values"), a project cut short by his mental deterioration. From this, we get concepts like the "Übermensch" and "Eternal Recurrence," both of which are about affirming life and embracing one’s "Will to Power"—that is, one’s own values and highest vision—despite fully accepting that there is no rational or transcendent justification for any of it. Similarly, Gilles Deleuze expanded upon Nietzsche’s ideas. To put it briefly, he developed a post-metaphysical metaphysics of absolute experience, anticipating and paralleling the teachings of your sacred cow, Peter Ralston (who, to be fair, is quite on point within his domain of thought). Deleuze’s Difference and Repetition argues for the priority of difference—distinction over identity—while Capitalism and Schizophrenia is about "deterritorialization" and "reterritorialization," which Ralston would call "opening" and "grounding." Deleuze’s unfinished work, Immanence: A Life, written shortly before his tragic suicide, centers on the singularity of "a life." This contrasts with your favored Heideggerians, Derrida, and Dugin, who still posit a "Sein" beyond "Dasein"—a "Being" beyond "being." For Deleuze, however, "being" is already absolute "Being." This is, of course, what the death of God signifies, which is why Nietzsche said things like, “Mankind, in its most profound self-abasement, in its most profound self-alienation, has dared to invent an ideal world of being in order to devalue and afflict with suspicion the only world that exists.” It would have been nice if you had actually engaged with the thinkers and ideas behind postmodernism more deeply. We could have had a much more profound and nuanced discussion on postmodernism and made meaningful contributions to the discourse. As it stands, your presentation is just a collection of loosely connected ideas that you’ve appropriated for your own purposes (whatever they may be). Fair enough, but don’t expect any serious intellectual to give you too much applause for what you’ve done here.

Only option = suicide, = nonsense. Why would a physics degree make suicide YOUR only option? You make suicide your only option by attaching yourself to a physics degree. It is also nearly impossible to de-sculpt yourself from that desire. You can't not feel the pain, not feel the desire, just from one decision. Because of factors such as brainwashing and social and psycho-societal validation you want a physics degree, but you also simultaneously choose to live up to your desire and affirm yourself along with it. Now there can only be a leftover of the desire which you don't control, but do control whether or not you commit suicide or whether or not you affirm the desire. There might be incredible difficulty in trying to give up that goal fully simply because it failed AKA due to an outside circumstance which is supposed to be the thing going against it. How well will this be accepted by your mind? Not very well at all. But it will also find nothing wrong with just choosing something else or just wanting something else. Or simply acknowledging that it's no longer possible to get the physics degree.

I would like to add here that from a yogic perspective, people feel suicidal when the prana or chi levels in the person is very low... If people commit suicide on the basis of existentialist or nihilist despair, what is apparent to me then is that personal interpretations of certain philosophies of this kind and the thinking and emoting process it generates can lead to low prana or chi levels within the personal system. It has been observed by physicians that when a patient is negative-minded and has lost his will to live, this can have a further adverse effect on his health.

You could maybe make a case to me that suicide is justified if you have some incredibly painful late stage cancer where ever moment of your life is filled with physical pain, but man I’m telling you, get some perspective on this and you will see this just is not it bro. You sound like a young guy, spiritual because you’re here. Do you believe you have innate spiritual value no matter what? Why not connect with this. This is where your true talents and genius lie. Your life is just beginning man.

Information Update, I mentioned in the OP that I used a suicide website. On that website, I've been complaining about this problem since October of 2023. https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/i-plan-to-kill-myself-this-weekend-but-im-worried-about-the-pain.150955/ https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/im-suicidal-due-to-academic-competition.138142/ https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/i-want-to-ctb-because-i-feel-inferior-to-my-peers-do-i-have-a-low-iq.136921/ https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/im-really-insecure-about-missing-out-on-the-college-experience.136792/

I am literally just as lazy, my mom helped me through highschool. It's horrible to not achieve results, I feel you there really. Failure has caused me so much so much pain, but bro, I don't think its enough to consider suicide.

I hear you, man, but I need you to listen to me straight-up. You've been hit hard, and the frustration and despair are real—I get it. But this situation isn't the end, no matter how much it feels like it right now. The fact is, you've faced a massive wall, and you're crushed because you care. You had a vision for your life, and right now it seems like it’s fallen apart. But let’s get something straight: this isn’t about your intelligence or your worth. You’ve been knocked down by some setbacks—calculus didn’t click, maybe you’ve got a mental block with calculations. That sucks, but it doesn’t define you. It's a problem to be solved, not a verdict on your future. Suicide? No. Absolutely not. That's a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and you'd be cutting off the possibility of figuring this out. Maybe physics isn't where your talents lie, maybe it is, but one class isn't the measure of your potential. The rope? Throw it out. There are people who want to help, even if it feels like you’re all alone. You need to reach out to a counselor, talk to someone about this crushing weight you’re feeling, because it’s lying to you. And let’s talk about sociology. Yeah, it’s not as glamorous as physics in terms of earning potential, but it’s not worthless. It’s another path, and if you're passionate about it, you can carve a niche where you’ll thrive. Passion plus hustle beats anything. And even if sociology isn't where you land long-term, it’s not the end. Your degree doesn’t define your entire future either. - I have a bachelors in sociology and I'm happy with it. But still I knew the job opportunities were limited, so I stacked on with other courses like psychology, neuropsychology, pedagogy and other stuff that I could tie into my life purpose. And now after a long route I finally have a really great job that I love, within the field I want to work in. So its not hopeless!! Here’s the real talk: You’ve hit a setback. A big one. But it’s not game over. You’re still breathing, which means you still have options. You have to dig deep, get the support you need, and live to fight another day. This world needs you in it, whether you see it right now or not.

In all honesty, your plan was poorly made to begin with. It should have been apparent since high school that you do not have an aptitude for mathematics and such, so why go to Physics? A dream job sure sounds nice, but it's an idea in your head, the reality may differ significantly. For a brief period my dream job was to become an accountant, then first semester of college after a few classes I realized how immensely boring it actually is, nothing like the picture I envisioned. The fact that you're now going to remain a loser after failing the degree is also something your mind has constructed. Are you a prophet? The future is fluid, and can change a lot in unexpected ways. Maybe when (IF) you're 35 and working at McDonald's barely able to afford rent in some shithole, revisit the suicide route. But right now your situation is not a dead end at all, in fact it's likely going to feel liberating once the initial depression wave passes. Hold tight and try ro recontextualize it into a positive. Few other things, there's no need to beat yourself up for repeating the same mistakes, in fact that's the best way to deeply learn a lesson for many people, you step into the same pile of shit over and over, and finally decide enough is enough, that determination will be so strong it'll hold for life. Also, practically speaking, an average sociologist has better employability prospects than an average physicist. You'd have to really excel to achieve the prestige you wanted, so simply passing a class wouldn't have made a difference in the end.

@Husseinisdoingfine Please seek professional help immediately and don't do anything stupid. Call 988 - the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Or, Text HOME to 741741 if you prefer texting over calling. Failing an exam or dropping out of university are not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. In hindsight, they can even be seen as valuable or necessary experiences. Of course, you are unable to see this at this point as you are extremely emotionally involved in the situation right now. And it sounds like your issue might even be fixed yet. In any case and however it turns out, you can and will find a way forward. This is not worth throwing your life away over.

First World proplems . You are so out of touch . People in 3d world countries and in Gaza are starving to death and you want to suicide yourself because you can't find a girlfriend? Boo fucking woo. I'm not judging you..but you are so ungrateful to what you have and you are out of touch with the world.

But this is like only 10-20% of all suicides. Most people who commit suicide have been suffering for years. It is the only way out for them.

Yeah. That's the saddest aspect of suicide. The mind is clouded.

There are some people who commit suicide as an irrational emotional reaction to a sudeen event. A girl throw herself from a bridge because her boyfriend left her.

This is a frustrating situation that I'm in, but here we go. So the University I attend is part of the University System of Maryland. This matters because in this system, there is a policy in which a student must not be allowed to repeat a course more than three times. The first time I took Calculus I, I dropped it (counts as first attempt) because there were too many classes on my schedule and I was overwhelmed. The second time, I accidentally missed my final exam and scored and F in the class. The third time just happened, and I scored a D. It was a reduced 6-week summer session. I should have visited the office hours of the professor, as well as the supplemental instruction, but didn't because I thought my knowledge from the previous attempt would transfer over. I needed at least a C grade in order to qualify for Calculus II and Physics II. I earned a B in Physics I, but because my grade in Calculus I is a D, I no longer am eligible to earn a Physics degree at this University as I have failed to earn the requirement. I filled out a petition requesting that my major be changed to Sociology, for which I'm very unhappy about. Sociology is not a profitable degree, its practically on the same tier as Gender studies. I chose it because its my other passion, part from Physics. Because Sociology is not a degree which can earn me a good job out of college, I feel very hopeless and distressed. I also feel very inferior, how was I not able to pass Calculus I for fucks sake, what is wrong with me. That's a freshman throwaway class! I don't understand this about myself, but anything that involved Calculations, I simply cannot do. I remember I had to do take a mandatory Computer Science class, for which I scored a D in. We had to solve binary problems, converting 1's and 0's into numbers, and vice versa. I rehearsed this numerous times the day before, but on the day of the test I simply looked looked at the paper and I couldn't remember what I had just rehearsed the day before at all. On my second attempt of Calculus I, I had failed every single weekly quiz, how does that happen? Not one quiz did I score an A grade on. Even in my mandatory chemistry class, I scored a D because the highest grade I got on any exam was a C, despite going to office hours and studying for each test two weeks in advance. Because in chemistry, there are calculations required to balance the different electrons and such. On my final exam day, I just walked out the room with half the test blank because I looked at the page, and I couldn't remember anything! I had studied, studied a lot, but the individual calculations I couldn't remember, despite practicing the week before. My original plan to ensure my survival of working for SpaceEx or something like that just flew out the window, and the only forceable solution for my situation is suicide. Even if I do complete this degree in Sociology, what am I supposed to do with it? I have already bought a rope, for which I have tied into a slipknot, and saved into my backpack. I printed out a note, explaining my justifications and reasonings. I as well have a location and a plan. I will simply go to the stairwell of the on campus apartments, and hang myself from the metal beams comprising the staircase railings. The advice on how to hang myself comes from this website: *Edit: link deleted, but it was a suicide website which provided explicit instructions on how to commit suicide* Edit | tldr: My university has a policy preventing students from re-taking a course more than three times. I failed to pass calculus I with a grade of C or better on my third attempt, meaning I'm ineligible for a Physics degree as Calculus I is mandatory. I switched my major to my other passion, Sociology, but Sociology is not a profitable major. With my career plans in the toilet, I have decided that my only option is suicide.

God would. Suicide IS Love There, I said it!

Happy Suicide Prevention Month I love you thank you for being here with me

Happy Suicide Prevention Month!

I don't think that an eternal god who desires things, like living a human adventure or whatever, is possible even as an idea. He would have already lived infinite human adventures. If that god acts for "fun", he would be immersed in the absolute horror of eternal existence, after infinite human "adventures", the adventure of a Japanese office worker with suicidal depression number infinite would be equivalent to absolute cosmic horror and that god would only want to commit suicide and nothing else Id say that the thing is totally different : Given the absence of limits, reality is, and is absolute. There is only one reality, the absolute, and it is you and you can realize it right now. Now, given the absence of limits, there are infinite manifestations of that infinite absolute, in infinite directions and dimensions. All of them are the absolute, and all of them, infinite, which is unimaginable, are coordinated in an absolutely perfect way by total intelligence, inevitable since it is a consequence of the infinitude. We can call this god, but it is a god that does not want anything, that does not decide anything, that cannot help being, nor does it want to, it simply unfolds infinitely without beginning or end, which is not understandable by the mind, and here I am typing on a phone, which is a manifestation among infinite manifestations, so it has a meaning equivalent to zero, and an essence equivalent to infinity: the total absolute.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 I hope that those men, after a while with you, have not committed suicide due to extreme humiliation. It's hard be a weak man, There is a lot of talk about how men should be vulnerable, not be afraid of being emotionally weak, of our insecurities. No way, if you are like that, you only get dissatisfaction, problems and misery in relationships. Better not to have them until you are a solid man, if you can. but the fact is that the weaker, the more in need of ties.

Physical, Conceptual, or even Ego-Suicide We don't know what comes after, nor aware of why we're here Suicide means to end the nature of the current experience It is rather foolish not to exhaust all of one's options first But nothing is ever foolish if you embody the perspective "A suicide may bring about his own death because he rejects existence on any but highly specific terms chosen by himself. Many others, however, choose to deny experience while within the physical system, committing suicide quite as effectively while still physically alive."

hamas is very active in the west bank. In fact most of the suicide bombing in the 90s and early 00s came from there, what forced Israel to enter this area much deeper, actually until this day.