What is femininity ?

[Majed]

Femininity is love. It is higher consciousness values such as love, empathy, selflessness, goodness, gentleness, acceptance, forgiveness, kindness.

The feminine embody the spiritual side of reality whereas the masculine embodies the material side aka survival. That's why masculinity is about leadership, autonomy, responsibility, confidence, boldness, assertiveness, taking initiatives. Coldness whereas the feminine is about warmth. 

To raise a healthy child one, it needs both parents, one that teaches survival, the other that nurtures love inside the child. If an imbalance happens where the father is either too feminine like the mother, or for example the mother is too masculine like the father, the child will end up weak and unable to survive in the first case, unable to get material results, hence depressed and suicidal. Or in the second case, the child might end up a criminal because he lacks the love and empathy. 

[enchanted]

Is depression and suicide always a result of bad parenting? Can you have shitting parents and not be depressed and suicidal?

[Talinn]

I love this channel and I think it explores spirituality from a feminine perspective in pretty amazing ways. Her videos improved my life a lot.

[UnbornTao]

22 hours ago, enchanted said:

Is depression and suicide always a result of bad parenting?

No.

22 hours ago, enchanted said:

Can you have shitting parents and not be depressed and suicidal?

Sure.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@enchanted

Important to recognise raw experience is not inherently traumatizing.

It is the internalised narrative that results from the experience that causes direct damage to the nervous system.

The brain is linked to the bodies nervous system. You experience something > mind/brain generates a narrative > trauma is done to the nervous system. Due to the link between the brains nerves and bodies nerves, often trauma is stored in the body. Like a habitual reflex of action.

Yoga is often used to release this nervous system trauma. Think of it like a malfunctioning reflex system.

Individuals who cannot resolve responsibility within the mental narrative, often has success through using the body to undo trauma.

[Someone here]

Estrogen. 

[Schizophonia]

On 21/07/2025 at 6:12 PM, Majed said:

Femininity is love. It is higher consciousness values such as love, empathy, selflessness, goodness, gentleness, acceptance, forgiveness, kindness.

None of these things are particularly feminine 

 

[Schizophonia]

I see girls as giant lollipops or cakes; something that feels good because it smells good, because it's soft, sweet (or spicy, that can be good too), because it makes me feel important by giving her hugs or things like that, attention in general.
It's not much different than a big car or a video game; they're generally fountains of attention/energy; so it's no surprise that men are more stoic because it's not about me but about "it."

Then they are human beings, so it's important to be friends with your girlfriend, but no one gets hard because their girlfriend has leadership.

Edited Wednesday at 10:14 AM by Schizophonia

[Natasha Tori Maru]

Do you want me to elaborate on feminine expression in general or my actual experience of my femininity as an embodiment? 

I am happy to answer either !

[Xonas Pitfall]

25 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

I see girls as giant lollipops or cakes; something that feels good because it smells good, because it's soft, sweet (or spicy, that can be good too), because it makes me feel important by demanding hugs or things like that, attention in general.
It's not much different than a big car or a video game; they're generally fountains of attention/energy; so it's no surprise that men are more stoic because it's not about me but about "it."

This is very honest, yet strange haha - do you mind elaborating on it more?

[Schizophonia]

2 hours ago, Xonas Pitfall said:

This is very honest, yet strange haha - do you mind elaborating on it more?

At beginning i was going to link femininity to emotional fragility but there are actually plenty of men we would characterize as particularly manly who are also sensitives, so it's not that.

Same about "stoicism", so even if i talked about that it's not about stoicism at all, it's again something else.

It's not even being decision-maker, there are plenty of very feminine girls who have a strong self who get together with quiet men who don't have much and who remain masculine, it can be organized like that.

What I think I see most commonly among men is the tendency to "disidentify from the ego."
Imagine that the ego is a hole and that women identify with this hole, while men prefer to distance themselves from it and therefore find themselves systematically identifying with the "border" of the hole; what Lacan would call the symbolic order.

Woman = Imaginary Order = Hole
Man = Symbolic Order = Border/surface that allows the hole to exist.

So women will achieve intensity by generating this "hole," and so it's as if their life were more like fiction or a film. It's too boring for a man, so to regain some intensity, a man will generally identify with a spectator and a player who uses his ego; the ego is, as it were, "objectified."

For example, I have no desire at all to play the bullshit dramas that women tend to play. However, I can enjoy being the one who comes to comfort her, tease her, or whatever.
The ego, the karma, is the same, except that I play it through her.

So, as I said before, a man will generally seem less emotional, more cold, stoic, etc., because it's no longer "I'm suffering" but "it's suffering."
"It" may contain "I," the avatar I play, but it's always treated like an object.

I don't know if I'm being clear.

When I think of a very feminine girl who attracts me, I imagine someone submissive, especially sexually, who smells good, wears pretty clothes, likes to cook for me and taste things, loves cats, demands lots of cuddles, is sensitive, and is a good mother.

Of course, that's a shopping list, lol, but the main point is that she's not brutal or stiff, like the symbolic one.
Like a fat farmer's wife, lol.

Edited Wednesday at 12:23 PM by Schizophonia

[Spiral]

No, it’s inhabiting the qualities society wants women to have. So in other words it’s subject depending which culture you live in

[Xonas Pitfall]

15 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

At beginning i was going to link femininity to emotional fragility but there are actually plenty of men we would characterize as particularly manly who are also sensitives, so it's not that.

Same about "stoicism", so even if i talked about that it's not about stoicism at all, it's again something else.

It's not even being decision-maker, there are plenty of very feminine girls who have a strong self who get together with quiet men who don't have much and who remain masculine, it can be organized like that.

What I think I see most commonly among men is the tendency to "disidentify from the ego."
Imagine that the ego is a hole and that women identify with this hole, while men prefer to distance themselves from it and therefore find themselves systematically identifying with it, that is, the "border" of the hole; what Lacan would call the symbolic order.

Woman = Imaginary Order = Hole
Man = Symbolic Order = Border/surface that allows the hole to exist.

So women will achieve intensity by generating this "hole," and so it's as if their life were more like fiction or a film. It's too boring for a man, so to regain some intensity, a man will generally identify with a spectator and a player who uses his ego; the ego is, as it were, "objectified."

For example, I have no desire at all to play the bullshit dramas that women tend to play. However, I can enjoy being the one who comes to comfort her, tease her, or whatever.
The ego, the karma, is the same, except that I play it through her.

So, as I said before, a man will generally seem less emotional, more cold, stoic, etc., because it's no longer "I'm suffering" but "it's suffering."
"It" may contain "I," the avatar I play, but it's always treated like an object.

I don't know if I'm being clear.

When I think of a very feminine girl who attracts me, I imagine someone submissive, especially sexually, who smells good, wears pretty clothes, likes to cook for me and taste things, loves cats, demands lots of cuddles, is sensitive, and is a good mother.

Of course, that's a shopping list, lol, but the main point is that she's not brutal or stiff, like the symbolic one.
Like a fat farmer's wife, lol.

So interesting, when I was on one of my trips, I had an insight like this:

Ironically enough, I somehow associate masculinity with ego more than femininity, so I was always wondering if that’s just my ego playing tricks on me. Perhaps both genders just play out their own versions of selfishness and selflessness, but I’d be very curious how you understand what I wrote compared to your experience.

Would you say that one of the appeals of the feminine is that they create the “drama (Hole)” or emotional expression that you can partake in, yet without being seen as dramatic or non-stoic yourself?

Quote

When I think of a very feminine girl who attracts me, I imagine someone submissive, especially sexually, who smells good, wears pretty clothes, likes to cook for me and taste things, loves cats, demands lots of cuddles, is sensitive, and is a good mother.

Why do you think you like all the traits you listed? I’d be very curious to understand, since you seem very honest, which I appreciate.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@Schizophonia

Do you genuinely mean submissive - or receptive? There is a difference between the two, assuredly 

I see many users here - and individuals in the world at large - claim submissive as a feminine quality. 

I experience this embodiment as receptiveness. Openness. As opposed to submissive. 

This has been my experience in mature relationships, free of powerplay dynamics, due to a foundation of honesty. 

Just my 2c 🙃

Edited Wednesday at 01:26 PM by Natasha Tori Maru

[Schizophonia]

1 hour ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

@Schizophonia

Do you genuinely mean submissive - or receptive? There is a difference between the two, assuredly 

I'm very receptive to women, what they radiate, and even what they can show me/help me discover.
For me, there's nothing better than a girl who comes up to me with an ice cream or a sandwich she likes, saying, "Try it, it's so good, it's just [...] 🤗😋"; so I wouldn't place gender differentiation on this word.

An emotionally dominant woman can also turn me on terribly; like a girl with a bitchy or tough mommy energy, very emotional, even aggressive, who sexually enjoys cowgirl or milking your cock hard while looking at you with a serious expression while she squeezes your head to trigger orgasm; an angry girl phenotype can be a pain in the ass, but it's still feminine. 

What would be truly unfeminine would be a girl who looks like a calf (overweight, with a masculine physical distribution) who tries to tell me how to live my life, yell at me, or simply talk down to me, or something like that.

The woman dominates me as an emotional structure to which I dedicate myself; I dominate her as a symbolic structure.

She dominates me through her inner dramas.
I dominate her as the one who will "fill the hole".

 

 

 

Edited Wednesday at 03:17 PM by Schizophonia

[Schizophonia]

5 hours ago, Xonas Pitfall said:

So interesting, when I was on one of my trips, I had an insight like this:

Ironically enough, I somehow associate masculinity with ego more than femininity, so I was always wondering if that’s just my ego playing tricks on me. Perhaps both genders just play out their own versions of selfishness and selflessness, but I’d be very curious how you understand what I wrote compared to your experience.

Would you say that one of the appeals of the feminine is that they create the “drama (Hole)” or emotional expression that you can partake in, yet without being seen as dramatic or non-stoic yourself?

Why do you think you like all the traits you listed? I’d be very curious to understand, since you seem very honest, which I appreciate.

I will take my time to do a topic i think eheh

[Xonas Pitfall]

22 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

She dominates me through her inner dramas.
I dominate her as the one who will "fill the hole".

• Basically, your "non-ego" feeds on her raw expression of emotions,
• And you contain her / define her; therefore, you dominate her chaos and emotions?

Would you say that you're fine being “dominated” by a woman’s raw emotions, whether that’s unfiltered anger, crying, excitement, or tenderness, but you don’t enjoy being dominated when it comes to areas of self-preservation: how to live your life, what to do with your career, money, resources, logic, or beliefs?

And in turn, does she enjoy being dominated by you in the sense that you provide clarity, containment, or interpretation for her emotions, her chaotic experiences, inner world, and her sense of self?

Although I’m not sure how universally true this is, here’s how I currently see it:

Socially and stereotypically, both genders have historically been allowed to express certain emotions and vulnerabilities more easily than others. Whether that’s due to natural disposition or cultural reinforcement is another discussion, but the patterns seem consistent.

Women, for example, have often been discouraged from expressing emotions or traits like aggression, primal instinct, survival drive, lust, horniness, predatory desire, selfishness, independence, or lack of empathy, dominance, competitiveness over cooperation, disagreeableness, traits often associated with self-preservation, and ego. And yet, these qualities exist in all humans, regardless of gender.

Men, on the other hand, have been discouraged from expressing vulnerability, tears, softness, innocence, naivety, emotional overwhelm, lack of direction, indecisiveness, or failure to lead or protect, traits that are just as integral to the ego and human experience.

So what happens?

It feels like, consciously or unconsciously, we’re drawn to each other to help unlock and contain the parts of the ego that we've been socially (or internally) suppressing.

In a way, women can rediscover their anger, assertiveness, confidence, fight response, and wildness through the masculine containment. And men can experience emotional release, softness, drama, raw vulnerability, chaotic expression, and a sort of "melting" into feeling through the feminine.

Both fill different "Holes,"  Maybe?

[Emerald]

Below, I will post that which is considered archetypally Feminine and Masculine (respectively) to understand these polarities from a symbolic and energetic lens (which is very different from societal gender norms, which are often arbitrary... like women wearing pink, etc.)

Keep in mind, this relates indirectly to human gender in general as the Masculine and Feminine are found interplaying in all living and non-living systems. But you will notice that men (as a whole group) have a slight lean towards the Masculine Principled qualities and that women (as a whole group) have a slight lean towards the Feminine Principled qualities.

But keep in mind that these arcetypes/qualities were called Masculine and Feminine because of men and women's slight leans towards one energy or the other... but these qualities are only somewhat correlated to human gender expression. So, these polarities superseded yet inform human gender expressions.

Here's the list (Feminine first/Masculine second)

• Being vs Doing
• Tangible vs Intangible
• Earthly vs Spiritual
• Physical vs Non-Physical
• Grounded vs Lofty
• Wisdom vs Truth
• Cycles vs Progressions
• Imperfection vs Perfection
• Contraction vs Expansion
• Emotions vs Thoughts
• Intuition vs Logic
• Chaos vs Order
• Organic vs Geometric
• The Unconscious Mind vs The Conscious Mind
• Relationship vs Singularity
• The Everthingness Facet of Infinity vs The Nothingness Facet of Infinity
• Sovereignty vs Leadership
• Internal Knowing vs External Knowledge
• Mystery vs Clarity
• Ordinariness vs Extraordinariness
• Mortality vs Immortality
• The Body vs The Mind
• Receptivity vs Radiation
• Receiving vs Giving
• Surrender vs Overcoming
• Inherent Worthiness vs Earning
• Collective vs Individual
• Connection vs Disconnection
• Intuitive Operation vs Algorithmic Operation
• Internal vs External
• The Fall and Winter vs The Spring and Summer
• The Moon vs The Sun
• The Roots vs The Branches/Fruit
• Limitation vs Unlimitedness

 

[Schizophonia]

5 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Below, I will post that which is considered archetypally Feminine and Masculine (respectively) to understand these polarities from a symbolic and energetic lens (which is very different from societal gender norms, which are often arbitrary... like women wearing pink, etc.)

Keep in mind, this relates indirectly to human gender in general as the Masculine and Feminine are found interplaying in all living and non-living systems. But you will notice that men (as a whole group) have a slight lean towards the Masculine Principled qualities and that women (as a whole group) have a slight lean towards the Feminine Principled qualities.

But keep in mind that these arcetypes/qualities were called Masculine and Feminine because of men and women's slight leans towards one energy or the other... but these qualities are only somewhat correlated to human gender expression. So, these polarities superseded yet inform human gender expressions.

Here's the list (Feminine first/Masculine second)

• Being vs Doing
• Tangible vs Intangible
• Earthly vs Spiritual
• Physical vs Non-Physical
• Grounded vs Lofty
• Wisdom vs Truth
• Cycles vs Progressions
• Imperfection vs Perfection
• Contraction vs Expansion
• Emotions vs Thoughts
• Intuition vs Logic
• Chaos vs Order
• Organic vs Geometric
• The Unconscious Mind vs The Conscious Mind
• Relationship vs Singularity
• The Everthingness Facet of Infinity vs The Nothingness Facet of Infinity
• Sovereignty vs Leadership
• Internal Knowing vs External Knowledge
• Mystery vs Clarity
• Ordinariness vs Extraordinariness
• Mortality vs Immortality
• The Body vs The Mind
• Receptivity vs Radiation
• Receiving vs Giving
• Surrender vs Overcoming
• Inherent Worthiness vs Earning
• Collective vs Individual
• Connection vs Disconnection
• Intuitive Operation vs Algorithmic Operation
• Internal vs External
• The Fall and Winter vs The Spring and Summer
• The Moon vs The Sun
• The Roots vs The Branches/Fruit
• Limitation vs Unlimitedness

 

Articulating masculinity/femininity dichotomy around all of those ones is false.

I can take every correlation you did and do the demonstration that the opposite is true.

[Leo Gura]

11 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Grounded vs Lofty

Lol.

Femininity is not grounded, it is airy-fairy. Which is why women do not care about facts or logic, and why female spirituality is New Age woo.

A Zen master beating you with a stick -- that's grounded.

Edited Thursday at 02:48 PM by Leo Gura