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About Judy2

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    It's the highest disappointment whenever i notice that i don't actually need anything. Most of my waking hours are spent worrying about what i will or will not attain, who i am as a person, how much love I'm worthy of, how exactly this love needs to show. What needs to happen for things to be right, and how wrong everything can seem in some moments. Whether i am good or bad. And then...what if i had it all? Or what if it was already perfect? What if "the story" went entirely as suggested by my oh so lovely idealistic thinking? Then there's Nothing, and none of it means anything. So i guess perfection on the story level still fails to bring about the thing I'm actually looking for; Healing. Completion. The Clarity that this is it. This is The Highest, this is Mine, this is Everything, this is God❤ And then i guess it's also fine that it's not clear yet? That i keep chasing silly notions, keep fluctuating between fear and love, heaven and hell. Throughout all of this, i feel the unspeakable. I feel that God is with me, even though none of it makes any sense and maybe this doesn't sound quite correct, and I'm just an ignorant little girl. But still.
  3. @bambi Well, it could be seen that all deeper realisations or higher levels and new discoveries are expressions of the same one (unknowable) God we've been talking about all along. More "forms", so to speak. But I'm not really in the position to say what's right or wrong here. I just felt that this perspective needed to be taken into consideration. So i don't know this for sure, it's just a feeling i get from listening to Leo and other teachers.
  4. To be honest, to me it seemed like more of the same. A neverending spinning of metaphors that will appear to be necessary for as long as there seems to be an i and a you.
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    I am terrified.
  6. This is difficult to accept right now but she wants to be left alone. Please respect that. And keep in mind that in this situation, there is a right way and a wrong way to show your love. The wrong way is to keep chasing after her and to disrespect her boundaries, the right way is being the bigger man and letting her go. This will ultimately grow you and make you stronger in the long term. I know it's hard to believe now, but you'll find another girl with whom the interest is mutual, and that's going to feel much better than applying more and more pressure in this situation.
  7. @MrTouchdown Maybe if you find out what "consciousness"is, and that it's not yours nor anybody else's. That it's One/Nondual. But your thoughts can't bring about this realisation.
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    Truly, this was a fascinating place, with its changing element of distant water, its great plain lines of pasture, its ordered vistas of foliage! The passion for beauty lay deep below the tossing, driving impulses of Flemington's nature, and it rose up now as he stood on the yew-edged terraces of Balnillo and gazed before him. For the moment everything in his mind was swallowed up but the abstract, fundamental desire for perfection, which is, when all is said and done, humanity's mainspring, its incessant though often erring guide, whose perverted behests we call sin, whose legitimate ones we call virtue; whose very existence is a guarantee of immortality. The world, this crystalline morning, was so beautiful to Archie that he ached with the uncomprehended longing to identify himself with perfection; to cast his body down upon the light-pervaded earth and to be one with it, to fling his soul into the heights and depths of the limitless encompassing ether, to be drawn into the heart of God's material manifestation on earth - the sun. He left the garden terrace and went off towards the Basin, with the touch of the elemental flood of truth into which he had been plunged for a moment fresh on his soul. The whole universe and its contents seemed to him good - and not only good, but of consummate interest - humanity was fascinating. His failure to snatch the map from Ferrier's hand last night only made him smile. In the perfection of his transcendent creation all was, and must be, well! Violet Jacob, Flemington (p.80)
  9. @Michael Jackson It's just that we're discussing labels and defintions here, and they don't ever change the referent. The referent being the actual God, only that God doesn't carry any inherent labels or have a list with criteria or definitions of itself. (Obviously!) And then i wonder how aware we are that the thoughts about God, along with all the discussions about what's right and wrong, true and false...are not actually about God. They are God. If God was truly realised, would it be necessary to fight over labels? I suppose not. If anything, the Truth comes with that unnerving feeling of being unable to communicate this. You can try, but that's just poetry then:)
  10. @Michael Jackson i disagree. God is definitely a beautiful word, but that's precisely because it's a word for that which does not have a name. We use the word "God" to point to the actual God, as in, this!, everything!, all that is!... and the actual God...comes without any labels, but at the same time you can call it God or Infinity or Shiva or Being or the Absolute or anything you like. That's the Magic
  11. Great explanation! thank you😊
  12. @Raptorsin7 okay, take care:)
  13. @Raptorsin7 Do you know if this has happened to other people who were trying the practice?