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peachboy replied to lmfao's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
It's the very subtle but incredibly important qualities of creativity and unpredictability which gives vibrancy to the dream-world. It's something to be respected. Do you remember when you were young and playing a game with a group of friends - one of the group might say "Let's pretend that we've crashed landed on an alien planet!". And then someone else from the group might say: "Yeah! And let's pretend that's there's a giant monster behind that rock!". And then someone else might say "Yeah! And let's pretend we have laser guns!". And so the story continues, interactively, with everyone contributing a personal variable that can be shared by all. So the Starseeds, the Lightworkers, the Arcturians, the Pleadians, Light-Language etc..... these are just creative and unpredictable contributions that flesh out the imaginative potential for our shared reality. It's far more important than you might think, because without creative imagination the dream-world would simply collapse. At the highest levels, the light-side (and the dark-side) know full well that we are all One. But the very fact that you are still here, proves that you (like they) are having far too much fun playing the game. And as long as we're still playing the game, we're going to need bags of creative imaginations and quirks of unpredictability. Else we wouldn't have a fun game going on. -
Origins replied to lmfao's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@Leo Gura Imagination is merely a tool and I've encountered no one to date that has been able to reveal otherwise (though happy for literally anyone here to provide evidence to the contrary). My intuition is informing me that in order to bring order to your perception of the difference between imagination and sense reality you've simply labelled everything as not just imagination, but infinite imagination, rather than simply our brains creating a simulation of reality through sense perception that we generate imagination about. Imagination is merely a byproduct, a tool, but it has absolutely nothing to do with reality whatsoever, thus infinite imagination has nothing to do with reality. Reality has everything to do with reality and that's all there really is, how we interpret reality is merely a consequence of how we've been constructed by the forces of reality. No matter how much you want to be an alien Leo, you'll never become one. Alien means foreignness, so you can play pretend but you'll only ever be yourself as reality intended and regardless as to what changes you make in your life, technologically, biologically or otherwise. If someone wants to make a case for infinite imagination they can, but they ought to make that case rather than just say it. All you've demonstrated to date is imagination about imagination, that gets us as far as you've described it but what you've said on the topic has hardly reflected something that's infinite let alone something that's even imaginative at all. I don't mean disrespect I just mean to be honest and blunt in my approach so there's no confusion about my own perspective, relative to what would be infinite imagination, you've demonstrated zero imagination. And its not like I'd put myself in a different category either nor anyone for that matter but imagination is a capacity with constraints that can be tested. Perceptions are created as a consequence of comparison and contrast, thus infinite imagination must have a scale that can be contrasted and measured against some limit of imagination (i.e. from the number of things that can be imagined at any point in time to the graphics and creativity of said imagination). So your statements to me have zero credibility. I want your statements to have credibility but I can't just imagine that into existence without fooling myself though I'm more than willing to be convinced as easily as I know I'm typing this comment right now. This comment has nothing to do with endorsing a materialistic view of reality either, I don't at all believe in materialism but I believe even less in infinite imagination as a viable way of interacting with reality as it produces many, many splits in consciousness where people are thinking one way in reality but really acting in a completely other way - let's see how infinite imagination helps you survive in this situation for example or having to work as a farmer for a whole year waking up at 3AM finishing at 6-7pm every day - This Man Survived Over 2 Months Lost At Sea | 76 Days Adrift | I Shouldn't Be Alive S4 EP6 | Wonder. The goal should be integration between physical experimentation and what we think and imagine, not merely being advocates of what we think and imagine outside the context of what we can experiment on unless there is reasonable argumentation to believe so, argumentation of which you have yet to provide, and I've watched your video on infinite consciousness, its really not that good. I have to be honest. It's better than any video I've seen on the subject, that has to be brought under the light in my expression here, but as an argument that stands by itself there isn't anything you've stated there that is at all very interesting, novel or persuasive. -
Leo Gura replied to lmfao's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
You might as well ask, "Why is my TV showing this alien and not something else? There probably could be a lot of other lifeforms that my TV could display." Your TV can display any possible lifeform. There is no image a TV cannot display. -
No Self replied to lmfao's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
A book that I personally trust (Conversations with God) says that there are thousands of extraterrestrial civilisations with life. It also claims that while some are negative, others are trying to help and protect us. It also speaks of people having lived past lifetimes on other worlds, including Jesus. If there are 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 stars in the known universe, it is not farfetched to say that there is alien life. It is actually quite farfetched to say that there is NOT, hence the Fermi paradox. I have no real opinion on this matter as I have no evidence nor experience. This feels like a totally separate discussion to potentially dangerous New Age attitude of letting the hyper-inflated ego literally reach for the stars. -
DreamScape replied to lmfao's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Starseeds are real. I have energetic direct experience of it and THAT living in my body. also I have had intense intuitions before knowing and from the very beginning of my awakening (which was involuntary). So, maybe your brain is hurting because its not open enough. Souls live in different chakras of the body. Also people live in different octaves of consciousness. Humans aren't all the same. A starseed is basically an energetic imprint of the alien soul living in a human body. like you playing vr and you become the character, except this time you actually go in the body and experience it for yourself. You can do this with psychic abilities. idk how all the starseed process works and im not interested in it, but it is real and possible and there are many many starseed souls here and I am grateful to have met the few that I have. -
Member replied to lmfao's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
It's funny that long before this "starseeds" phenomenon became popular, I've been obsessing over a dream. There are some weird fucked up coincidences in my life... like I think about something and then everyone starts talking about it ? And nope, I don't consider myself an alien, though I feel pretty alienated from everything people deem to be normal lol. -
Leo Gura replied to lmfao's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Teal Swan is basically playing that StarSeed alien game. Like I keep telling you guys, reality is totally relative and imaginary. Whatever you imagine yourself to be hard enough, you will become. If you really believe you are an alien, you will literally be an alien. You are still stuck on this idea of an objective reality. No such thing exists. Just like some Trumpists imagine that pedophiles control the world, some people imagine that they are aliens. And the key thing you're missing is: THAT IS TRUE FOR THEM! ...in the same way that being human is true for you now. You are not really human, but you sure imagine you are. God is not a hive-mind of X number of beings. God is you imagining whatever you are imagining. And there is nothing outside your imagination. If you imagine that you are a human who was born on a planet called Earth, that's literally what you'll get. If you imagine something else, you'll get something else. With enlightenment you realize that you are infinite imagination. And that's the end of the game. -
Guru Fat Bastard replied to lmfao's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Lol. Remember Scientology? Xenu the galactic overlord.Thetans.Mass alien genocide 75 million years ago etc. An ex member stated Scientologists believe that if they can recall and “handle” things that happened to them eons ago( in a galaxy far, far away,), it will solve whatever problems they have going on in their current lives.“At the end of a session you feel invincible,” Lugli says. “You’ve been having planets built and destroyed. After that, you come out into this normal world and you feel like the most powerful person around because you’ve been traveling through space and time.” why-do-scientologists-accept-the-xenu-story/ -
Red-White-Light replied to electroBeam's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@electroBeam Ok, so my experience with this is that the ego can often mistaken what's going on. My mind likes to interpret what you describe as a side-effect of infinite intelligence. It's very much true that people can appear alien and strange, especially with some basic understanding of God. You begin to understand that the people around you are probes of God. Literally formless, empty vessels that carry out God's will. This is quite a reductionist perspective but it's important to consider. When you are aware of yourself as this empty auto pilot it's quite a strange discovery. What makes it so strange to you is the fact that nobody is aware of this. It can also appear very alien and strange if you are talking to someone, and they're this unaware empty vessel, and you know that they're god, same as you, but they don't. God is still them so they do know without directly knowing. From my experience reality is some weird mix of reductionistic mystism, which is so absolutely full of everything apart from you thus everything in experience is you by process of elimination. -
DrewNows replied to electroBeam's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
yes we are living through many different layers/dimension, some are more alien looking and being. I had a shroom trip earlier this year and I set the intention of meeting ETs or aliens, well the person I tripped with became more alien like, as in, she was now viewed in a higher dimension of my perception. Also when I observed the people around, it was obvious they were acting so oddly, basically mind-controlled to behave in a certain way, unaware of their own programs and how it keeps them stuck in the physical 3D matrix, obviously still very grounded in the normal human way of life. Don’t let anyone else tell you what to think, why even bother questioning what’s “real” and possible, when you know it’s all your projection to begin with. The amazing thing about changing the way we see things is they really do change and it is then possible to harness more power over your reality/experiences. Exploring the different dimensions of reality is a wonderful thing, we are always in all of them but to operate from certain frequencies is learning new ways to connect with ourselves IMO most people are at least one type of “alien” on a higher dimension, most don’t realize they are also these other forms, so your connections will be limited to their level of awareness Pm me if you’d like some content to watch regarding the history of earth and are galaxy seen from higher dimensions of possibility, of course it can be taken with a grain of salt, none the less, very interesting to explore -
Matt Kahn might not be awake to your standards, but he's got a lot of shit figured out. Psychedelics aren't a magic pill though. There are trillions out there who take psychedelics (probably 5 meo too) who dont know anything about Love or God. I know plenty of psychedelic enthusiasts who actually think that being one with the universe is a completely different place to sober. Like sober and that oneness are separate. And those are the most awake ones, the majority think that dmt machine elves run the universe. Buddhists might not know as much shit as you, but IMO buddhists are more spot on then alien and dmt machine elf enthusiasts, at least they cut through the ego story crap. That 'ego cutting' is really missing in psychedelic communities. They have loads of amazing experiences, yet are too immature to cut through the bullshit and see what the universe actually is. So if you want to make an accurate comparison between the 5-meo school(psychedelic community) and the buddhists, you need to more fairly weight the pros and cons of each. You aint awake if you've taken a trillion psychedelics either. Infact you're way less awake then a buddhist IME. If you can't see that there's no difference between oneness sober and oneness in a psychedelic, then you're way behind a buddhist and zen monks. Really, you can't say the 5 meo school is better then the Buddhists. The answer is both, and if it can't be both, then IMO the Buddhists are more effective.
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Shin replied to electroBeam's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
When you mean Alien, do you mean as if they all look the same, and you can't tell if they are sentient ? I had that sometimes, even though perceptions didn't change at all. Most fucked up thing ever experienced, because it felt like a very strange presence emanating from them, like being watched. -
Member replied to electroBeam's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
I have the same perception from time to time, although most of the times I feel kinda alien myself. Imo, this is better than seeing all the people like some programmed robots lol... I've used to see the world this way and it sucked ass because it made me feel very anxious. -
Nahm replied to electroBeam's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
The appearance of ‘form’ is not alien to formlessness. Perspectives arise via purification; old paradigm, go for the outward thought story, even though feeling isn’t resonating with it. New paradigm; feeling is paramount & fundamental, perspectives go as effortlessly (and magically) as they arise. It is not uncommon to formulate perspectives in the blame category (also psychosis, paranoia, etc) when the mind is faced with the suppression of feeling that has been transpiring. Also, if there is any struggle in releasing such a perspective, don’t wrestle, forgive, understand, love. Whisper “I didn’t know”, and smile of your awesomeness. Redirect such energy to your well being. -
seeking_brilliance replied to electroBeam's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
We're all a bit Alien. ? (to one another) and in saying that it's also saying we all have something in common. That is, if you believe in aliens and anothers and all. Which of course, there's nothing wrong with it. I enjoy those stories very much ? -
I'm just posting this genuinely out of curiosity. If its not high quality enough, feel free to lock it and let me know. Recently my perception has changed a little. Its been happening for more then a month now, and it gets stronger by the day. The main thing is... everyone's face is starting to look super alien like. Its like I'm in an alien society and looking at all these aliens. The facial features of each human gives me a strong sense of abstraction, unfamiliarity, deep intelligence that I'm unaware of. Also each person is giving me a strong strong strong sense that they work in ways that is deeply mysterious. Its like I don't know how this person thinks at all. There's no ultimate logic, pattern, system or script that this person is working off, they are working off pure mystery. I'm not using mystery as a scapegoat for lack of understanding them, what I mean is, the most advanced, enlightened alien lifeform could not demystify how a human being works, and how they think. They can make estimates and predictions but not know fully. And this just adds to the feel that I'm in some sort of alien society. This feeling is not mild. Its deeply strong, it is indistinguishable from the scenario that I was abducted by humans and put on earth from some other planet. I know that you can link this to nonduality and spirituality, but its not really spirituality, its more related to paranormal psychology. This is a paranormal aspect happening within me, consciousness work is a superset or beyond what I'm talking about here. I'm wondering if there are resources, links, or others that feel a very very very strong sense that humans are aliens, just because I'm super curious about it. I'm not really looking for crazy beliefs, I want stuff that is directly grounded in empirical evidence and experience and knowing.
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lmfao replied to Psychventure's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Nah I'm not liberated. Yeah it was inquiry likewise here. Good if it was permenant for you I guess? (Unless you're in a weird dark night of the soul from it). The state of consciousness was so different and alien to my normal state of consciousness, that my brain has sort of "erased it" from my memory or suppressed it. The experience was so weird that my brain has compartmentalised it into fantasy and dissociated from it. Time and self felt radically different. My perception of vision was distorted (not hallucinations but there was distortion. Everything felt like a dream/fantasy despite it being reality. Maybe things looked like they were whiter hue or my eyes would space out, I can't remember) , and trying to remember this all, I think it's like a drunk person trying to remember a black out. The quote "truth is stranger than fiction" can chill you to your bones if you experience certain things. I looked at myself in the mirror and didn't feel connected to it. I think that feeling is the "trauma" I'm defending myself against. No one for sure but me can know what I was going through, so no one can advise about what I should do, I'm just simplifying my life, taking care of survival first. -
Inliytened1 replied to peachboy's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Its a mind bender. You're imagining Jesus - or more precisely i am imagining you imagining Jesus. You are Infinity. I am infinity imagining you are Infinity imagining Infinity. Will you imagine you are jesus someday? Sure maybe as you are Infinite so you may also dream that you are some undiscussed alien, just the same as you are imagining you are you right now. You have done and been it all and also have infinitely more to be. Don't try to grasp the infinite with the finite your mind will break. -
Member replied to Twega's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Why do you have to think about molecules and stuff? An alien could experience a totally different world than the one you're living in right now. And it might be able to even experience different realities, at will, without traveling at the speed of light... but of thought. We just assume that the molecules and neurotransmitters create this reality but on a very deep level there's only experience and thought patterns that shape everything that is. -
By now, Leo has shown me how necessary direct experience is to find the truth. But I have a question, or actually, more like a doubt. We know conscious experience is correlated with (BUT NOT CAUSED BY) brain activity. I have never had direct experience with molecules or neurotransmitters. Suppose I was born an alien with a mix of a highly complex brain and an even more expansive state of consciousness. In that case, I could, perhaps, have a direct conscious and instantaneous experience of molecules and neurotransmitters. Something I can't know as a human. Does this thought experiment show that although direct experience is accurate, it is also limited?
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Short story time (Enjoy @Raze hopefully something to learn from here) Imagine you're an alien observing the social activities of humans from a spaceship just outside of Earth. You notice all of the various kinds of intelligence that each type of demographic has about their own sex versus the opposite sex and everything in between, some have very primitive views, some increasingly more complex, some have have strict dichotomies, others have nuanced landscapes. You watch this all unfold inside your binoculars of time, this certain pair of binoculars allow you to not only zoom in as far as you want but to also replay social events as you please as well as go backwards and forwards in time. This is because time does not exist from the perspective that your species experiences existence, describing its dimensions is not fit for linguistic description due to its hyper nuanced structure that is beyond language. Inspecting the various sexes you see from the very beginning of human civilisation right up to this point how from a young age every adolescent wondered about their sexual preference and how to bridge the distance between their affections and receiving affection back. "These humans" you'd say "They perceive each other as images on their lenses, this activates parts of their brain which then releases hormones to promote arousal which is potentially followed by oxytocin to promote courtship and even a possible relationship between each other." "They don't know they're just images on their lenses, its very intriguing. They're not aware of the inner game that's being played inside their biology about the other sex, all that concerns them, quite abruptly, is how to quench this thirst that is now aching inside of them that their biology is trying to get them to fulfil." You'd ponder about the complex interplay between chemical actions and stories that would be created to justify the chemical feelings and you'd sit for years on end on [which to you is experienced as mere microseconds due to the different experience of time ] your hyper advanced reclining chair wondering about how humans managed to confuse the narratives they created themselves and the narratives that were spread between each other about one another. This you'd explain as the reason why various groups about the sexes, like feminism and MGTOW were created, the inability to properly discriminate between inner and outer narratives, chemical precursors and the narratives that were consequentially invented in the brain. After compartmentalising all of your data, you call the mothership and say that you've uncovered everything there is to know about human social relationships and now you know how to seduce a female woman you now plan on abducting from Earth in your spaceship "the humans" as you say, will record in their archive as either an unidentified flying object or an unidentified flying object that happened to also be spotted around the same time a female disappeared. Of course, because this alien hasn't properly understood what makes a female attractive, the alien chooses the fattest female out of logic, they believe that she'll, in your words as the alien, "be able to hold more children thus be a better mother to the alien hybrids". Lessons you've personally learned from this short story composed on the fly: Blank (your own private thoughts here don't need to be shared) Blank (your own private thoughts here don't need to be shared) Etc
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Just noticed something tiny the other day. Had a silly idea in my head that infinity meant something like a number line, where you would chronologically go through each number 1 by 1 for infinity. So for example, you would reincarnate through the lives of each person and alien and whatever 1 by 1 forever, knocking off each person at a time. But just noticed maybe its not that way. Maybe just having the free will to do whatever you want IS infinity. Because free will means you can do whatever you want. And you'll do something different every time because its free will. Its free. There's no necessity to ensure you'll knock off every number and leave no number unturned, if you skip 12 or 50 does it matter? It goes on for infinity anyway.
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Mu_ replied to Someone here's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
One thing thats always curious and obvious once pointed out, which hopefully you can laugh with me with, is anything said is always "blah blah blah". Again don't take offense to this because its always true of what I say as well. For example "The Problem with Radical Open mindedness", Ok lets say I or someone broadly knows what you mean, whats to say it would have to include the questions "1 that you have no brain or any internal organs. Literally. After all have you ever seen them? 2 that you are the only conscious being in the entire universe and everyone else are just figments of your mind. 3 that Leo is an alien not a human. 4 that your mom got born out of a chicken.(that's an example from Leo's open-mindedness video lol). 5 that the world ceases to exist as soon you stop looking and gets rendered once again when you look again . Like a video game. 5that the flying spaghetti monster is real. He created this world. And he will punish you if you don't worship him in this life. 6 that the entire world that you can see through the media is not real. 7 that their might be a space Kangaroo standing behind you your entire life but you couldn't see him cuz he turns with you" And whats to say it has to include having to prove those things wrong in order to be free of them in some sort of way. Again none of the 1-7 mean anything to begin with except in your statement they do, and you could because of that, they don't need to be thought about or proved wrong or felt.... So good day and, blah blah blah to you sir....... -
It's a very foundational component of Leo's teachings. One cannot be following Leo's work without being radically open-minded. Also I found it's the key to successful contemplation and unlocking deep truths and insights. However I discovered there is a huge problem.. The mind is fundamentally afraid of being open.. The mind has a natural tendency to be closed off from radical ideas or new possibilities. Because being closed minded is what grounds your sense of reality. You look at the world through a specific lense and you assume a bunch of things about the world that are basically unquestionable. You do this to survive. You can't survive if you assume that you know nothing and you're equally open to any information. As soon as you start entertaining new ideas and open your mind to change your entire worldview.. You start to feel like you are losing a part of what grounds your reality. This can be noticed for example with religious people who are so attached to their beliefs.. and then they discover that religion is just bullshit and there is no sky daddy up there taking care of you.. Yeah that might send them to an existential crisis. My question is what is the limit of open mindedness? Can one be open minded to literally anything? Is that how you reach truth? But what you notice is if you are Infinitely open minded.. You will just end up knowing nothing and not able to know a thing. There must be a balance. But where do we draw the line? Can you open your mind to the following possibilities : 1 that you have no brain or any internal organs. Literally. After all have you ever seen them? 2 that you are the only conscious being in the entire universe and everyone else are just figments of your mind. 3 that Leo is an alien not a human. 4 that your mom got born out of a chicken.(that's an example from Leo's open-mindedness video lol). 5 that the world ceases to exist as soon you stop looking and gets rendered once again when you look again . Like a video game. 5that the flying spaghetti monster is real. He created this world. And he will punish you if you don't worship him in this life. 6 that the entire world that you can see through the media is not real. 7 that their might be a space Kangaroo standing behind you your entire life but you couldn't see him cuz he turns with you . Can you honestly open your mind and entertain such ideas? Notice the emotional reaction against some of these ideas. and notice that you can't actually disprove any of them with 100% certainty. You can't open your mind to these possibilities not because they are false(you don't know that) or because they are stupid lol.. But because they will threaten your sense of reality and everything you thought you know about the world might get thrown out the window. It's like you have to be close minded to survive . What would happen if you become infinitely open minded?
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One of the most important and life-changing distinctions I've started learning to make after my vacation/retreat is the distinction between being soft and harsh with others. Before that, I didn't know such distinction exists except in theory. I used to just be blunt with everyone and expect them to be the same with me because that's how the general environment in the city I where live. Now I truly realize that I live in one of the least developed places in the entire world. Even to have gone to another city in the same country felt like a huge leap. This is because of the huge gap in development between us here and the rest of the world, besides the amounts of traumas that we'd had to endure during the civil war, which we're still suffering the consequences of. My vacation/retreat was very eye-opening. I've learned many things besides my mystical insights. I'll make a list below of a few examples for the things I've noticed to be different from my city. But generally and fundamentally, here in my city, there's very little concern or respect for one's well-being physically, let alone psychologically, even between friends and amongst families. We're expected to not be affected by anything at this point, or if we're affected to suck it up or do something about it by ourselves without appealing to authority. Now it's become somewhat more easier (still kinda hard though) for me to distinguish between situations where I need to show some aggressiveness or disrespect, and where I need to be soft, loving, and generally more positive, regardless of the interaction itself or the content of the message. This is huge for me as I have been interacting with others rather unconsciously, for the most part, regarding this aspect, for my entire life up until this point. Life here is very opportunist and machiavellian, and everyone is extremely corrupt and unconscious. There is a civil law and courts and everything, but they're too corrupt they're completely ineffective, it's almost like they don't exist. Here money and social connections are above the law. Law only exists in theory, and as a way for higher classes to oppress and control the classes lower to them. This is the case all over the country, and it's not particularly exclusive to my city, but still my city is definitely on the top of the most corrupt places on earth list. The list of examples for what made this change for me: Public transport drivers there were generally more polite, unlike here. Here you say thank you, but they rarely respond. They don't smile. They curse each other and it's kinda normalized (due to competition). They don't return the change. For example, if the ticket is 75 (insert currency name here) and you give them a 100 (currency name), they will say they don't have a 25 change, and so they get to earn an additional 30%+ of the fee for themselves for each straphanger. People using public transport were generally more cheerful and laid-back there. I've heard multiple jokes. For example; once someone took off the bus, and people started to exchange seats. And then I hear the guy next to me chuckling and saying: are they playing checkers?! lol People here stare at you for no apparent reason in a very strange way. Even if you're just normally walking down the streets, people will stare at you like you're some sort of an alien or a criminal or a terrorist (not really sure what their looks mean). People there (and I assume everywhere else) don't care to look at anyone normal for more than a second or two. I've confirmed this observation from my friends so I'm not biased or seeing things at all. I've asked a few friends here and they stated that people look at them in a really weird way. Women here aren't able to sit in the seat next to the bus driver. It's frowned upon. There, women have more rights and freedom relative to here (I've seen a lot of female owners of supermarkets there, which is extremely rare here and limited to Christian areas), although relative to first world countries there's no comparison. The reason why that is the case, is because there are many sects in Islam. In my city, the Sunni sect is predominant. There, the Shiite sect is predominant. Sunni is more fundamentalist than Shiite. It is closer to Salafi Wahabist fundamentalism even though still not really close. Of course, everything I said here is generally speaking. There are certainly exceptions in both cities, but generally, that is the case. At first, I hesitated to write about these insights so that I can be more neutral and objective. I didn't want to jump to conclusions very quickly so I waited for about a month. And man, I struggled so much to settle down and accommodate once again to this city. It's really hard and painful to go back to contraction after expansion. This explains a few things for me. The more developed I get; spiritually and cognitively and so on, the harder for me it gets to get along with the people here. This explains the strong obsessive desire to kill others that I've experienced twice in the past few months. I'm torn between two modes of being. I either have to suppress my growth and succumb to the status quo, or I have to be myself and let shit be. The problem is that letting shit be could really mean shit. There could really be a friction between me and others which could get me killed or make me want to kill. I really feel like I'm stuck in a place where I don't belong and that something really odd is going to happen if I keep moving up.
