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Dear @0bserver, Note: My knowledge is only Intellectual. Yes, ultimately everything is just an imagination like a water in the mirage. You are right on that point. But, it seems that you think that reincarnation as an experience with-in this imaginary reality does not happen at all. May be you haven't watched the videos I posted. Please do watch them. They don't cease to exist. People do remember some details sometimes. Some yogis do remember many or all of their past lives. But, to intentionally remember all of such lives with all the details require deep meditational practices with the same intention. After death, only the Annamaya Kosha(physical body made from food) dies, The other subtle coverings like Pranamaya Kosha(Energetic), Manomaya Kosha(Mental), Vignyanamaya Kosha(Intellect), Anandamaya Kosha(Causal body whose nature is love and bliss) continue to exist even after death. Together all these 5 kosha(s)(Sheaths/Coverings) are collectively called as Pancha Koshas. Pancha means 5. They dissolve only after non-dual realisation, that too only after physical death of the body. In Bhagavad Gita, Arjuna has the same dilemma and asks Krishna: Arjuna: If one follow the path of spirituality and follow all good deeds, but die before attaining Moksha(liberation/enlightenment) what would become of that person's fate? wouldn't they lose everything and have to start again from the scratch in their future life? Krishna: Such saintly person will go to heavenly abodes of gods based on their worship of such gods, and having exhausted their good karma there(positive karmic tendencies - along with the desire, knowledge and belief of such abodes) in such abodes, will come back and take rebirth again here on earth(Having been forced by the karma that is based off of earthly experiences. - Also, doesn't mean always has to come back to earth) either in an aristocratic family or in a saintly home. Will again continue the same work from where they left off previously(the knowledge that was learned previously also has to be relearned. But, this time that portion of knowledge comes naturally and learned very easily without any hiccups. Rarely, some people may remember(Some of it or all of it) naturally without having to relearn everything) Nothing that has been gained spiritually is ever truly lost(Memory of it may not be readily accessible, but as a development in the psyche as a properly aligned goal with the absolute truth, always remains permanent). Mystical awakenings some times give you experiences that are tailor made to the person having them, due to social and cultural conditioning. But, at other times might cause realizations regarding fundamental truths which are true and real for any person of any social or cultural backgrounds. Reincarnation is one such fundamental truth which some times is experienced as a mystical experience even during deep meditation. But, because of knowledge of such truth not being taught in the said culture, one may try to explain it and treat in a way that makes sense in that particular culture / society(Some times in such cultures, such experiences may be wrongly treated as a case of possession, or a medical condition or other such and it'll curtail the spiritual growth of that individual, even causing unnecessary mental problems in his//her life). But, those societies / cultures which have long known about such truths and having studied them for thousands of years, can recognize it right away for what it really is and treat it appropriately. Just take a look at reincarnation research that's been happening for quite a few years now. It shows proof of reincarnation in almost all the major cultures, irrespective of their beliefs. I believe, the truth of reincarnation must have been known to almost every culture at one point, it only got lost recently in some cultures because of invasions, take over, propaganda and other such factors. May be reincarnation is a factor in this reality we are in. May be there are other realities which doesn't have reincarnation. That also seems plausible. 'What is and isn't possible within an imagination'?

Believing love is energy, and bliss sex, contextualizes the self out of both.

Ok so this is something I've found out that apparently nobody else realizes here...or at least nobody else talks about. Depending on how *your* batch of 5meo is made...the effects will vary. I theorise that 5meo can be extremely "disphoric", confusing and very disorienting when slightly impure. I've had two different batches of 5meo and I can tell intuitively which one is purer. If your not experiencing full body orgasms or something like that (pure Bliss and ultimate Euphoria) then your specific batch of 5meo may be impure. Try a different batch If I were to look into the past and give myself one piece of advice concerning finding my life purpose, I would say this, "what service or product would you provide for free for people?" This eliminates the monetary aspect and with deep authenticity you can find out with this question. For me, I would help people who have massive shadows, making their lives shit. Tell them about consciousness work as a means to reduce suffering measurably. What would you do for free...? Shadow shadow shadow. Get yourself some pure 5meo brother Shadow. How to remove shadow: kriyga yoga, meditation, inquiry, *pure* 5meo (bliss) as opposed to 5meo that isint amazingly pure. Shadow fucks up your life. Consciousness work fucks up your shadow. Just get better at beating your shadows ass to a pulp. @khalifa

Even Martin Ball in his last video said that integration isn't needed if the trip is long enough to go from pain to bliss. This is why I advocate for (big doses of) LSD/mushrooms, or plugged 5-meo (which last longer) in my subreddit (see my sign.). Yet I didn't find the balls yet to try it so I'm not sure if you'd have "reactivations" with this method. I'm also not sure if there is a clear demarcation (difference) between reactivations and PTSD from short bad trips. Anyway it's a tough game for most people, even if you don't have PTSD and reactivations, you're supposed to keep dosing regularly until permanent nirvana is achieved. It's a paradox how easy it is "physically" to drop a bunch of tabs, and how difficult it is in reality if you know what you're getting yourself into.

There is some bliss in work, but I still think you are in a low-consciusness state when you are working. At least you are and advanced in permanent high stages of consciusness so you can be aware even when you are taking actions; defintely not me case, I am still a newbie. A lot of people do an 8-10 hour job with a lot of attention and diligence and they are not spiritually developed at all. What I think is that work goes against the contemplative journey. And yes, "we have to accept present and live whatever it is" "there is bliss in all god creation" "just do what you have to do" "you cant´enter the flow if you desire to enter the flow" bla bla bla. You all know what I mean. I am talking in a practical way. Describe your conscisuss level when you are working/studying, that is what counts; the rest is theory and non-dual abstractions, what matters is experience, practice. ps: sorry if it sounds as a rat agains you, it is not, actually your point is good. I just took you reply as a context to write a general comment

Spirit is love. You’re entire life is the developing of this talent. If you want to be spiritually talented, just love a whole bunch as often as possible with as little condition as possible. Get to know the most nuanced ‘places’ of your conscience, you’re liberated profoundly as you do. Dedicate some of your time, energy and or resources to this on behalf of others, and you might even experience some siddhi’s and more paranormal facets of healing & well being. In being the empty vessel of healing, you also experience healing (love). It is most worthwhile. The talent is the very love you already know, but may have not yet experienced viscerally in effortless ‘action’ , and in such subtly, intensity & experiential volume. Love can light your bones on fire with bliss, and rewire your dna, brain & mind. Have to ‘go see’ though. Only if you’re interested. It makes no difference at all wether you do or not. However, much understanding is unveiled, even the recognition of understanding itself. Something else you might consider or even readily notice...all comparisons are to a you, which there isn’t, so the comparison is counter productive to the actualizing. Rather than compare, dream big on making this place better somehow...more beautiful, more fun & less harsh, more equitable, etc. Fun to discuss & speculate, but thought I’d mention.

Has anyone noticed that different batches of 5meo have noticably differing effects? I've had 3 different batches of 5meo and the differences have been absolutely instrumental. From experiencing literally nothing (with shit 5meo) to having slightly less "bliss" to having slightly more bliss on a different batch. I've got some ordered that I had before. Cracking stuff

Follow your bliss, follow your heart, get quiet, get curious, notice things and appreciate them. After that it's like the snowball effect and the thing starts rolling downhill all on its own.

The importance of collapsing the spirituality vs career paradigm. And further, collapsing spiritual materialism vs minimalism. I've tried it, spiritual materialism doesn't work. BUT, so doesn't its opposite. The middle way, is the way. By leaning too far on the spiritual materialist paradigm, you end up abusing spiritual teachings to suit your own egoic agenda and minimising your ability to see reality for how it is. Leaning too far on spiritual materialism makes you unable to see the "free will is an illusion" insight, and makes you believe in wacky things like the ego can control the dream. This leads you into a false pretence and bastardisation of spiritual teachings and reality. For example, implying that law of attraction = you can attain whatever materialistic desires you want. No you can't because you're not in control of the dream. The other issue with spiritual materialism is the trap of chasing states and spiritual ideas, insights and dogmas to keep yourself happy, rather than the truth. For example, cherry picking what Love is. Love is a deep connection with a woman, but its not murder. Also Leo's obsession with attaining mystical insights is another example. But on the other side of the coin, completely rejecting materialism isn't good either. By rejecting materialism, you can fall into the trap of believing in false pretences about the world being cynical and pessimistic. You can believe that everything that feels good, is ego. That materialistic desires are ego, and must all be avoided. This can lead you into a dark state where you disconnect yourself from Love and Bliss, and replace them with cynical and pessimistic thoughts. In the name of being spiritual. Rejecting materialism also leads to suppressing desires like sex and fame and wealth. Which leads to the existence of dark shadows lingering in your system, and a inability to weed them out because you think it isn't spiritual to do so. The other problem with rejecting materialism is not seeing the God, Love, Bliss and Beauty in the universe. by rejecting materialism, you reject wealth and sex and fame. By rejecting those things, you judge them and even possibly hate them. This blocks you from seeing the beauty, love of those things and why they are there. The right way is the middle way, where you keep true to your sincere intentions as a seeker, and follow your commitment to see things the way they are, not the way your ego wants, but at the exact same time, you allow genuine materialistic desires to flourish, without indulging or being too attached to them. And you're open to and accepting of the Love, Wisdom, Truth of those materialistic desires and objects. The point is to be aware of the traps and consequences of materialism, especially spiritual materialism, but indulge and enjoy them anyway, up to a point that you ensure you aren't falling into any traps. Indulge and fully experience materialism, but always remember to be quite detached, open minded, wary of traps, and to ALWAYS keep the bigger picture in mind, the bigger picture in that everything that is materialistic is impermanent, transient, and all materialistic indulgence is meant for Being Truth, Love and Bliss. Allow materialism in, but never let down your guard of its dangers. And always assess whether the consequences of your actions are reaching a negative, counter productive/spiritual tipping point. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Reflection of desire: a trap. The buddha quote (paraphrased) of "don't forget to get off your raft before entering the island" is slightly misleading and nuanced. The raft being desire, and the island being enlightenment. Yes you gotta get off your raft to enter the island, and clinging onto your desire for too long is a big trap, but an equally big trap is getting off your raft before getting to the island, and bullshitting yourself into believing you're enlightened when you're not. My path has been highly ruthless, lots of anger, negative emotions, ego bashing. Its a deeply masculine path. And that's the way I like it, because it ensures I don't get off the raft before I reach the island. Infact, chucking away your desire for enlightenment too early, is a 1000x bigger trap than clinging onto your desire for too long. And that's because, if your desire is big enough, after some time, your desire will burn itself up purely because its unable to hold its own energy for too long. Its equivalent to slamming your raft into the island due to high velocity. Forcing yourself to get off the raft, not because you want to, but because you have to. This IMO is the ideal way to handle desire. Be so ambitious, so hungry, such a huge seeker, that you run yourself into the ground, completely and utterly burn yourself out. That way the ego has no chance of using the buddha's quote above to become satisfied with anything other than enlightenment, and bullshit itself into believing its enlightened when its not. But at the same time, you've got no chance of clinging onto desire, because you're burnt out. I use to be like others, and deeply value the wisdom of letting go of desire, but as I mature on this path, I see how desire for enlightenment and truth is everything in being successful on this journey, and too much desire is much much better than too little, even if enlightenment takes an extra few years and ample amount of depression more. Its better to be safer than sorry. I've fallen on both sides of this path, jumping off too quickly, and clinging onto desire. It takes desire to let go of desire At the beginning I jumped off too quickly dozens of times. Which lead to great pain once I had the rude awakening that enlightenment didn't happen. I then desired fiercely as a knee jerk reaction, and ran my raft right into the island, smashed it to pieces, and it took me a year to recover from being burnt out (or repairing my raft following the analogy). Yet as soon as the raft smashed, a huge turning point/awakening occurred. I've now been smashing my raft into multiple islands for the past year now, and life just gets better and better, and more and more growth occurs. An analysis that doesn't consider the downsides of a particular approach is just plain biased and dishonest, so it wouldn't be fair if I didn't mention that there's one big downside to ramming your raft into islands and smashing them to pieces (apart from the extreme depression, anger, basically negative emotions). There's a large recovery period that's required after your raft smashes to pieces. And a bit of trauma. That has to be worked out before setting sail again. Even though that downside is bad, its way better than getting off too early without realising it, or not getting off the raft after landing on the island IME, both of which have occurred with many other seekers, and have convinced me that the approach I'm taking is the best. Its just the hardest.

Turquoise / nonduality...It’s fully realized (feeling / no mind) sex & orgasm is an appearance / experience created by the limitation of yourself, which you are / you’re being 24/7. At that stage-less ‘stage’ feeling = “orgasmic” 24/7. The bliss that appears as the intuition, or the calling home in thought, is actual you, feeling, which is why “you” can’t think what sex is like, at turquoise. Only direct experience, and at that point not even, will do.

@Knowledge superb! Why settle for less? ? Ecstatic rapture in renewal, unending! Or in a word, bliss. The entire Sushumna channel throbbing with magnetism! Attainable. By grace. On another thread somewhere here related to Tantric sex, there is a video someone posted on this. Don’t be misled however, even if true! Here it is ... As for knowledge or rather directly imbibed wisdom, considering that mind-body is limited, we need to drop it ... to transcend. Expansion of consciousness is about transcending all limitation. Let’s see if I remember what they are ... limitation of space/location, time, power, knowledge and will. Go for it!

I've read the books and looked up Leo's twisted definition of turquoise, and I'm still very confused on the differences between awakening and turquoise. You guys conflate the 2 a lot. Its almost impossible to tell the 2 apart. Based on traditional spiral dynamics literature, turquoise models a sociological (not psychological) value system which stands out from the rest on the value of holism. Its extremely large picture. You see the value and how everything connects together on an intuitive level. It differentiates itself from yellow in that its intuitive. You don't get lost in the mind, you feel how things are connected. The other difference is in yellow you primarily view things through hierarchies, structures, etc. How things are different to each other. In turquoise, the emphasis is in the connectedness, or how everything relates as one thing. Awakening, is when the matrix collapses. Its when the thing under the matrix (Love, Bliss, Wisdom) is revealed to you. Its when you see this entire thing as made of imagination or 'pixie, magical dust' instead of atoms. Its the deconstruction of ego and the world. Turquoise is about understanding the matrix, but not going beyond it. Awakening happens at all stages of the spiral, and doesn't correlate to different stages. Lastly, spiral dynamics was made by academics. So any reference to mysticism or supernatural stuff, or siddhis, etc. Was an invention leo made and stuck it on turquoise. There is no mysticism or eastern philosophy in the original spiral dynamics model. So as far as my understanding is concerned, you could be turquoise, yet as enlightened as Trump. I don't see any correlation at all to being turquoise, and being mystical. Mysticism is way beyond and on a completely different plane to spiral dynamics. And spiral wizardry isn't that useful to spiritual work anyway. Its only really applicable for getting groups of people cooperating together effectively. In terms of being happy, leave that up to eastern philosophy. So why do people here talk about turquoise and enlightenment, mystical and supernatural stuff so much? Why did Leo emphasise lots of supernatural and mystical stuff in turquoise when its got nothing to do with turquoise? Most supernatural people are purple btw. And green people like reiki healers. No where near turquoise.

@Aaron p before 5meo i used to meditate 15minutes a day, i didn't care about self inquiry it didn't interest me did not resonate after some sessions of it. I used to do an hour a day at times, sometimes up to 4 hours those were rare, i could feel a bliss like state when i did it for that long and it used to last for like a day, happy for no reason some of my dosage spilled out during the injection phase, not sure how much i took in to be honest it has been a year @seeking_brilliance it's not that easy. the energy is just unpleasantness, i no longer leave my body these days, i just feel off uncomfortable @ivory whenever i do that, i feel like my heart just hurts therefore i stopped trying so hard against it

I keep reading all these “spirtual pages” usually on meditation;Talking about how we should not reject or accept a thought or emotion. That is in essence meditation. So then why is anger and jealousy something which is seemingly rejected in spirituality. Why would bliss or happiness be more important then anger or sadness?

The earthly incarnatory states are not the only states the Jivas(individual conciousness) go through. There are in-between after life states as well which happen between lives which are much more profound than our earthly states. If these states tend to be positive are called as heavenly in nature because they are without much suffering and full of heavenly delights. If these states tend to be negative are called as hellish in nature because of the vividness of such negative experiences. The realities one experiences in these states are also determined by the Samskara(Karmic impressions & tendencies one accumulated through one's experiences and behaviors). The profoundness and intensity of these states may be because of the snowballing effect of tendencies in these states (said by sadhguru in some video). As you can see from below, having once attained liberation/enlightenment in the form of nirvikalpa(non-dual), the individuation ceases to be. There are no infinite lives by forgetting the enlightenment. Enlightenment ends the individuation when attained in non-dual form. There are other types of enlightenment the devotees go through. This page is from Yoga Vasistha: Dear Mirko, Your condition is the best e.g of why direct experience sometimes is very dangerous without strong theoretical background and expert guidance. I can see you are already suffering as a result of some wrong(or should i say right - because they worked) contemplative and pyschedelic practices. Spiritual work is not some casual thing that you do, it takes at most dedication which you clearly posses from your own description of having done some ardent work for 5 years. Such a dedication is very rare. I'm happy for you. But, as you have experienced, even such dedicated work without proper guidance and proper knowledge turns dangerous(In your case existentially dangerous). Sometimes, people use psychedelics or even meditation and experience emptiness and that becomes their greatest fear because of nihilistic feelings. Making it worse are the wrong assumptions and ideas from wrong knowledge or lack thereof. Enlightenment has the potential to give many different realizations which may not be realized all at once. Some of them are very scary/uncomfortable in nature if realized without the accompaniment of other realizations which prevent/neutralize such fear. Take for e;g your own case, you have experienced something profound, now this world is not doing anything for you, nor are you fully there which is very frustrating too. Now you are stuck in between as you say. That's why if you want to ride a rocket you don't go to a local driving instructor. If such serious complications such as yours occur, a proper spiritual master will be able to manipulate and reconfigure the energy system through shaktipata and bring about enlightenment, or atleast alleviate the suffering through proper dietary instructions and yogic exercises. No new age guru is going to help you now, all they do is pointing contemplative exercises which is what caused you the trouble in the first place. As some of the people here advised, taking a break from spiritual work for a while is the best thing you could do right now. Also you can try consulting with Isha Yoga or Sky Yoga center and see if they can do something about your condition. You should be absolutely honest with them about everything if you are to get proper help from them. What you are doing right now(posting) and connecting with like minded people who understands your position is also a good thing. That way you atleast have some proper company(but bad advices from good company is also a bad thing). This is why the spiritual schools always keep these methods and practices as secret and far away from the eyes of the general public. Just see the Kundalini Awakening scene for example, Many people are suffering from what they created a term for it called "Kundalini Syndrome". I'm not saying you shouldn't do such practices. What I'm trying to say is, if you are absolutely mad about enlightenment, that nothing else can satisfy you anymore. Anyway you'll do it, curiosity'll get the best of you. Atleast, try to research as much as possible about the subject matter and gain as much theoretical knowledge as possible and find out beforehand if there are any complications that could arise from the path you are following and if so, what are the solutions. If possible, the first attempt should always be to find a traditional guru who knows how to do shakthipat as well as yoga practices. If not, Be absolutely ready for and ok with any outcome. Even I also am a guilty party in it (it seems curiosity DOES KILL the cat after-all). Fortunately or Unfortunately for me, even the kundalini going nuclear did not do much for me. But, it sure was a very scary experience. For me personally, even if it had caused extreme symptoms, I would have been ok with it. Because, I know where to go and who to consult if things get bad. Anyway, Please atleast improve your theoretical knowledge, so that you don't have any wrong assumptions and ideas about anything and as a result unnecessarily suffer from it mentally. Please read Yoga Vasistha, it'll clarify some of your wrong assumptions: https://estudantedavedanta.net/The-Supreme-Yoga-Swami-Venkatesananda.pdf Please don't take any of this as some criticism, or me trying to one up against anybody, It's just that I see so many people who are so close to enlightenment, but are suffering from such debilitating conditions because of wrong approach or wrong practices. Just trying to help that's all. If any of the things that I have written have hurt you in anyway, or if there is something wrong in my understanding of your condition, I apologize in advance. I wish and hope you'll find bliss in your life soon. Take care.

You do, in a pretty direct way. One of guru's function if he is enlightened is to trigger you, just where it hurts sometime, deep inside the cluster of tantrums behind the assumtions of human interaction and qualities. He is the person to tell you that you and me are deluded and show why, and what can be done about it. If you think a guru is a narcisist, maybe he is doing a very good job of triggering your delusion. One way i can tell a mystic or a guru is if they radiate bliss. And if they do what they teach themselves. I have found orthodox hindu gurus the best. because hinduism has the vastest records of scriptures which you can follow and evaluate the person, if that is even needed. Too bad India is totally ruined. There are ways to cognize the world which will make you powerfull and powerless. These sacred texts do hold this capacity if you internalize, you become Shiva, because in fact, you already are. How much do you care to find the truth is the question. For any seeker. Its usually about, what will other say is if want to follow a guru. Its culturally easier to follow secular gurus like Rupert, Echart, Adya e.c.t but there are people out there that are the catalysts of truth, but you will hesitate to follow them; thats what i have found. And exactly you will think they are narcissist. And just about any guru has a bad media coverage. Will you also internalize that? What are your chances of taking gurus words? For example like Osho, only his value was really recognized later. In such conservative culture he triggered just about anybody. But he had something to say if you really wanted to listen to him. I have found such people, and i attempted to put my bullshit aside, and i am listening to them, best decision i have made in my life. For sure something must be wrong with me to? How can i be right e.c.t.? I am delusional right. In short the title of this tread is like you looking with sunglasses with 5% transparency.

My opinion: Happiness as a concept/reality will cease to be if there was no suffering. E.g: Imagine you are put into a reality where there is only happiness, and you are able to live forever. A day will come when you have already explored all the possible ways of being happy and there's nothing new to explore. Instead of being so happy of being in a happy reality, you'll be bored to death. Boredom will slowly turn into frustration, frustration into anger. When anger arises you are already in deep suffering. If this continues you'll get into states of suffering unimaginable. Again imagine, after this experience you are transferred to a reality where you are made to suffer all kinds of sufferings for a while. After a while, when you are again put back into the first reality again, those same things which you thought were boring will give you a kind of utter happiness which gains a new intensity which was not even there at the first time. This is why it is said, happiness and sadness are not two different things, they compliment each other, they give existence to each other. There is no one without the other. Happiness cannot be experienced or acknowledged without experiencing its dual opposite: suffering. In order to extract happiness infinitely again and again even from a single particular truth/reality/object/concept, one has to either lose it from possession or suffer some suffering (sometimes related to or unrelated) to that particular truth/reality/object/concept in various angles, circumstances and different variations. Every time when re-possession of the lost object happens or the suffering period subsides, the happiness derived is slightly different and has some variety to it. losing or separation is suffering and uniting is happiness. Unity itself without separation loses its joy or happiness feeling after a while. Separation alone without uniting causes perpetual bondage. The actual action is in-between the unity and separation, that is where the true joy, bliss, satisfaction, happiness is. Non-duality alone is mere peace. Duality alone is pure suffering. Hide and seek of losing unity and finding it again is where bliss of life is hidden. Of course this analogy has its own flaws. But, to explain every possibility of a particular truth with single example is not possible. Hope this helps.

I always thought ignorance is bliss.

I think that it is really important to put our health as a priority if we truly want to be our best self and spiritual. Our bodies are our containers for our soul, or you could say our PRISON. So, each of us has a different set of genetics and our bodies differ. You have to find what works best for you and also to not hide behind what the masses are doing. Some people shouldn't drink at all, not even one a day. Maybe some people can. Also for junk food... maybe some people can eat it here and there... while others must abstain completely. And, there are phases in our lives where we should eat certain things more, or not smoke at all, or sleep more... Our optimal health needs may vary throughout our lives. I guess it isn't good to be obsessed with this, but rather have it as one of our top priorities. We know that we need good nutrition, to stay hydrated, 7 to 9 hours of sleep, cardio and some muscle workout training, and to maintain basic hygiene. It is great when we can really have our bodies and homes in optimal states of functioning. Then we can more readily obtain BLISS

I'm sorry if I did not translate it well, but my English is not perfect. 16:25 Consumption of decoction of magical mushrooms (2g) 17:00 - 18:00 The shackles of the mind were released. The conditions have been broken. It's amazing how much beauty has a reality around us, but we can not see it through our conditions. Everything was beautiful, vivid, amazing. My eyes were full of joy, life, innocence, happiness and gratitude for being alive. I felt the mind slowly sinking more and more in the present moment. I laid out on the lawn and looked up at the sky, it all became so obvious ... It was so obvious that I am not the body ... that it will soon die ... It's an amazing paradox. There is no such thing as human life ... We are a void that experiences itself through the human body. Woaaah .... I understood that there is only an organism and a consciousness that is perfect. 18:00 I decided to go home. All the time I was accompanied by the beauty that I admired. When I saw the sunset, I almost cried. This can not be described. So this is real reality? Does it have so much beauty in itself? It's hard to believe it ... I sat in my training room, turned on the music and immersed in myself. I had some internal insights that were amazing. I experienced fractions of Samadhi's states when I was the whole moment, unidentified with my ego ... What a bliss ... For a second I felt the absolute of consciousness and tears came to me. It was indescribable. I would like everyone to experience it even for a moment. I went to the mirror and looked into my eyes - shining with happiness, innocence and an inner child. Eyes of joy. 19:30 - 21:00 I decided to go outside to light a campfire on the field. As soon as I opened the door of the house and saw everything, I could not believe in amazement. How all this is magical ... Amazing ... Mysterious ... The streets looked like on another planet ... This is another thing that can not be described ... All lights, stars ... our life is the greatest gift you can get, the biggest a form of love, just a question of whether human can notice it ... I made a bonfire and thought about my life. This is how my first trip ended. Important Lessons. Life is a present moment. Our human life is just a joke. We are a void that experiences itself through the human body. You have to accept death and live life to the fullest while our body is able to. Life is the greatest gift you can get. The largest form of love. The emptiness that accompanies us has a huge amount of happiness and joy. Pure Hapiness is effortless when nothing is left but a calm mind. Beauty is everywhere. The entire universe is a manifestation of love. It is sad that through the filters of the mind acquired by his human experience, man is unable to see the truth.

When we feel complete, with bliss replete when we ourself become the answer, requiring no translator

" IGNORANCE IS BLISS " - Unknown degree of absurdity to this quote is inexplicable

At the very least the totality of existence is as such that there is as much joy as there is suffering in it. I'm also talking about your consciousness or soul or whatever not being on earth. That's in my idea the worst possible somewhat realistic scenario. My hope is that there is a lot more bliss and peace in the totality in existence than suffering. But I feel it's really too limited for my mind to grasp. I don't really get it. You don't either. In moments of joy or silence that you can experience even here on earth, you know that this divine quality is at least somewhere there. Just drop it. this thought doesn't serve you. Let go of it and you can start moving into the direction of this peace you so desire

That's an extreme example but Very easily Osho could not have been aware of the complexities of capitalism, because it take study to see it unlike mysticism. Its not just obvious by walking in the streets. And you can still be deeply loving and deeply unaware of those hidden complexities. But I think you're saying that you should study those complexities otherwise there's something not quite right about you. Yeah really not sure about that. Got nothing to add to the discussion at this point because im not sure. I feel like ultimately mysticism and direct experience is prior to intellectual understandings of the complexities of capitalism, and direct experience and mysticism is prior because capitalism is imaginary and not true, so I value the former more. But that may change in the future if I ever get to post awakening and decide to ride the ox a certain way. Or maybe not. I think infinite love has a component here, you feel a desire to heal the world because of infinite love, and that may feed into wanting to stop nazis taking over your land. But that feeling is totally dependent on whether you're educated enough to know the problems in the first place. Infinite love doesn't guarantee that you'll automagically feel an urge to reduce capitalism. Only if you somehow become aware of it (which to become aware of that stuff you need to do worldly things like reading books and talking to people, not meditation or awakening work). The discussion with me and Leo gives a great explanation. There's lots of mystical stuff happening in my experience on a daily basis, but spiral dynamics wise, I find I'm closest to blue/orange, although due to how deconstructed my worldview is, I don't really resonate with any particular stage on the spiral. I resonate very very well with the experiences of the accounts of Jesus, Chogyam Trungpa, zen teachers and shamans. Very timeless, eternal, non linear. And those teachers are blue. I don't resonate much with green teachers like Matt Khan, Adyshanti, mooji, etc. My spiritual style is very aggressive like Peter Ralstone. So that's why I generally peg myself as blue. Its hard to peg myself without comparing myself to the experiences of teachers, because on a daily basis, my perspective isn't very worldly. Its very timeless, eternal, magical/mystical, etc. And I don't really feel a strong repulsion to being blue either. Because I'm so detached from worldly things, and so immersed in bliss and a perspective that's very open and released, that there's no passion or dispassion towards my values. My values are sort of like just ordinary things I don't really think or care about, like dust on your desk.

Looking Back a Few Days Ago.... I still think of this experience I had of a few days ago. I still can't put it into words but it was unforgettable. It was so peaceful. I hope that I can experience something like this again. I got a glimpse of what I can be working towards. I have worked hard in regards to getting into a better state of mind and being. I look back at my journal in my computer even a couple years ago and I can put myself in the shoes of the person I was back then, how much anxiety, depression, and existential distress she was living in. I feel like I'm have achieved a much better quality of life through therapy and through self-actualization work. I still have a lot of things I still need to sort through especially when it comes to shadow work. But, to me, this sense of bliss that I had the privilege of experiencing, even for a little bit, shows me what is possible and what is my next step.