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Yes, you could do it. But notice that you could surrender your life while you . See I've seen this attitude a lot of times and it just more ego. You don't need to go homeless or live at the mountains for the "total surrender", because you can surrender totally right now wherever you are in your life. And the question is, if you can't surrender your life right now, why do you think you will be able to do it when you are homeless? Can't you see it doesn't make sense? Stop projecting out to the system, culture...etc the only reason why you are not in "joyfully bliss" is because you cant surrender your life right now. Too much devilry. And the devil loves to project and self decept that when he goes homeless it would be able to surrender..lol. why not now?

How could you be a failure, what have you failed with, for me you are a great success because you're alive?. You're failing with being your true self, yes. But your thinking by being something else you will be happy, no. Realise that that is just a thought, hallucination or fantasy. You can truly enjoy who you are and how you are right now if you want to. But in a mind too indebted to ego this will take time to solve. How you solve this there is a million pieces of advice. I can name multiple and how to experience the highest states of living. But that is no good because probably only when actual survival is your only problem left in life then it's time to awaken or you have already awakened by then. We all experienced a long way of unleashing lots of ego and trying all the time to figure life out. If you want results you need to always try to evolve, not by doing, thinking and being the same way as before. But by changing all the time who you are... You just need to try and try and try, each time hoping you will get closer. Actually living to the fullest isn't that difficult. But who is ready to abandon ego and just soak into joy/energy and what you're consciousness really crave. You will be able to be outmost joyfull/ecstatic by yourself when you have awakened, now even eating will be difficult because you will have to use some energy to get up and eat... All of you will be focused into bliss/abandon of body/mind but not abandon of life energy, that you abandon close to death. There's so much to explain and talk about Awakening and how to get there, I can only gove you little advice, I don't have the time/will for more. So why do I do this when I can be at my best by myself? Because once you have everything only then can you be truly selfless. I do what is needed for the world. Which is my survival and the work towards every being being truly ecstatic. Once everyone is completely happy then my work is done in this world. Or once I decide to leave my body and become enlightened. Just try all the time to improve, however you can. Videos can help. Your entire experience of the world is within you as you know. So you are always alone, and how/who you are shouldn't be limited to a measly though or memory of experience. How you improve or upgrade yourself is all from within. So don't do it from the outside thinking external changes will fix all your problems and your experience of life. Though that will also be needed, just don't overvalue it or if you decide to do that. Then always learn when you figure out it doesn't work. That's my number one advice, always try to change/improve in some way and get a feel for what works and what doesn't work for you to become your possibility as a life. Then when ego is strong in one direction you will realise it isn't the right way to live and change, then when that doesn't work change again, and again, and again. For this you need to be life sensitive, have a good feel for your experiences of life and how you are like always right now in the moment. Limiting yourself from your true potential is needed sometimes. This is why survival will become a big problem for newly awakened people. For example going to school you can't be too happy otherwise they will kick you out of the classroom, but you need the class to et a job and earn enough for survival. Therefore you need to limit yourself but live as happily as you can within that system. Also don't take life to seriously or rather dont take your mind to seriously. You can't trust your mind because its very biased. Same for bodily needs, such as sex. Not the body nor the mind will in the end be the answer to the most pleasant ways of living. Sorry I wrote too much and so messy. Hope I didn't confuse or put some delusional ideas intp your heads. Learn about chakras, etheric body, sadhana, watch ego stages from actualized, watch sadhguru and do your best??

1 infinity is infinite possibilities which includes infinite levels and experiences of bliss and suffering , on one level suffering is in place so you maintain your survival so you can reach a point of awakening . You would never ask this question if suffering didn’t exist . Also bliss exists relative to pain to suffering you can’t know bliss without the contrast. There are infinite answers to this question. 2. Accepting what we are? Chasing happiness is what you are if that’s what your doing . The greatest happiness comes wen u fully accept what you are reality is and humans are . The miracle of existence at all. 3. Infinity... it must be how it is because it’s all ways (being a human inn our society is not a normal thing ) 4. Infinity includes all possibilities. Delusion is however a concept.

Here are my quick answers: 1) Suffering makes happiness/bliss possible. Suffering acts as the opposition against which happiness exists. 2) The same reason we play video games. Imagined identities make us chase. 3) To experience a part of the infinity, infinity has to become non-infinity. It is like that because you want it and because it wants to explore/play. In infinity, all the states are “limited”. 4) Infinity includes “delusion” but there is no one definition of delusion so all states of infinity are delusions. In human terms delusion is defined relative to a “base” state of consciousness/identity, otherwise there is no state that’s deluded. Hope that made sense.

Yeah the eternal abyss, alone there. Not only boring, also timeless and alone. I started this work because i wanted to solve my human problems, fix my suffering etc after making many mistakes. I wanted bliss joy and happiness in life. Then suddenly realizing it's not a problem. My whole life is a lie... Hell i did this to myself xDD Maybe after many good lifetimes one gets bored, tries something eh different I'm such a troll. Furthermore solipsism is a pain in the arse. Experiencing that doubt... But it's even crazier, consciousness really can compartmentalize itself. Lets imagine John over here and Dan. Then it takes those two meat suits and talks to itself. Damm DAMM People you think solipsism is scary, how about being the whole universe xDD And every single being simultaneously, being YOU Having sex with yourself, killing yourself, loving yourself, A dance a play, a melody of being For all eternity.

Modern Spirituality: *Anxiety is already happening in the field of infinite bliss and does not need to be cured, no practice required* *No practice IS the practice*

Whether it has been described by others or is solely practiced by me I am not certain. Warning: Over the years, this has, in a way, cost me the ability to perform mathematics and process "technical aspects" of life. I perceive consciousness, imagination, and "following the bliss" as paramount. The more I descend into this powerful, yet simple practice, the less value I project onto ordinary, restricted activities such as mathematics. (Although, paradoxically, this technique is more down-to-earth than any other if we assume the meaning of down-to-earth to be "tranquil in the moment.") It's suitable for artists, for self-exploration, and for visualization in general. Here's how it works: Your visualization is already massive, infinite, and it's only being held down by your psychological constructs. That's all. The process you should apply when trying to visualize is to eliminate existing psychological boundaries. You are free to go anywhere, in any direction, to pursue the "w" axis of this world. When you usually try to visualize something, you are working upon preexisting framework of beliefs, which "slow the system down" if I may use the term. Each limiting belief is an axiom which clogs the mind. Attaining a powerful, transcendental visualization is simply about becoming aware of your limiting beliefs and dropping them down. What are the limiting beliefs in this case? You believe that you reside in the third dimension. This is a mental construct holding your visualization down. Why? Because everything you visualize with this belief in mind will be subdued by and fall under the concept of "a third dimension". You believe that you are a human - this is another belief clogging the card's memory, which could be better used on visualization. You believe that you are on Earth - this is another belief clogging the card's memory, which could be better used on visualization. When you let go of existing frameworks, your visualization will become a thousand times stronger. By default. You are constrained by useful survival notions. They bombard you constantly - constantly (notice the word) - unless you become aware of them and let them go. This is your golden ticket to Shangri-La; to visualizing and feeling whatever you need to. I use it in writing, but it can be applied in all sorts of fields.

@Anon212 You need to watch 2 things: that your lack of motivation isn't flippant(you will change your mind/med passion will come back after leaving college and regret it) on the other side of the coin, if you have a genuine passion beyond college, college is a waste of time. You'll never be happy by chasing stuff. You'll be on a hedonic treadmill forever. Happiness comes from an amazing journey, enjoying the process of developing your career, rather than the destination. The best you could ever aim for in life is a blissful moment. Reason why people want loads of money is because the money isnt important, but the blissful moment and feeling of having that money is. The reason why guys want the hottest girl is because the bliss of the moment of having sex with her or being with her is the greatest thing on earth. Its not even her, it's the blissful moment of being with her - the same sort of moment monks feel while having nothing. It may feel like leaving college means leaving all of your materialistic wealth which = suffering. But the real suffering has nothing to do with the materialistic wealth you acquire, its got to do with whether you're feeling that blissful moment now. And you could be living in a tent because you're so poor, but if you're doing a job you really really love, you'll feel that bliss all the time, all day. Meanwhile your medicine colleagues are dying away, dreaming of having loads of money so that they can have that blissful moment that you've already got now. And then even with the money, they still dont have that blissful moment, because they don't like their jobs, have too much to loose and its too late to switch careers, and shitty health from the all nighters they pulled to get top marks.

Sooner or later we all awaken from the dream and realize the illusion of life and death. Then what? What will you say to the fears, what will you say to the times you took life seriously and limited your full potential and experience? You want to get back on the ride now when its all over? It doesn't work that way love. You chose to be a player of the game and then started to complain and postponed playing somewhere along the line because of the shit that happened to you? So what? Life happens to all of us, its how we respond to what makes the currents of life change. One of the greatest lessons Creation will teach you is that the mirror(universe) will never smile first. Victimhood mentality gets you nowhere, for what you resist, persists. Its Universal Law. And so as you stopped playing, you started aging and merely 'existing' in a dream, in limbo, in the greyness between living and non-living, taking things seriously, trying to be all high, mighty and spiritual, not realizing you couldn't be further from the truth. Trying to be something other than yourself, which only pushed you further into illusion, when there was nothing but you to begin with. Where are you going? What are you trying to achieve? You are already infinitely abundant! perfect, whole and complete as you are. You just do not see it because you are no longer here. You are no longer now. You have wondered elsewhere my dear. But in the Stillness of the Here and Now, mind and illusions eventually fade, and I AM presence, your True Awareness arises, and the whole universe becomes your Eternal playground once again, as you were when you took your first breath into the Dream and yet, not a second has passed since. I remember clearly who and what i am beyond this body/mind and that is pure presence, pure awareness, the experience i am experiencing here and now, stability, ecstasy, bliss, peace... Nothing exists outside of this moment, no tool, substance, ritual, partner, lover, act or behaviour is needed to be who you truly are, for this may all be an illusion, but the experience is very real. I sometimes wonder how can we even forget who and what we truly are, in reality, we only pretend we do because we no longer believe we are worthy. I will tell you one thing dear beloveds, if you were truly not worthy, you wouldn't be here, Period. Creation does not make mistakes. We are no different you and i, there is no place in existence you can hide from yourself, you cannot escape the Self. There is only Self. Paradoxically, the beings who are at most at peace within themselves today have usually suffered the most deeply because it takes true darkness to embody light. Use that to your advantage when you feel the whole world is crashing on you, know that your purpose is greater, for you are great, brilliant and of grand design. You are Divine in every aspect of the term. Do not settle, never settle. Never stop playing or you miss the point that Creation is ever playing, ever changing. Keep rising, keep flowing with the currents and ebbs of nature, you are eternal and never ending. Why accept temporary and trade it for Eternal? You are only tired because you are out of alignment with your innermost Truth, with who you truly are, but realize you cannot actually be out of alignment with your true self, but you can make it 'appear' so because you are infinitely powerful and creative, you have the free will to do so and create the illusion that you are not. So Go Crazy! Be Wild! Play as completely as the child, don't just walk here, Dance with Creation, Immerse yourself, entirely. Enjoy the ride, the play, the dance, the dream, while it lasts because one day you will awaken from it altogether. Love ~

@aurum Well according to Leo dating a 10/10 "supermodel" is the holy grail of dating. I know for a fact a lot of these supermodel women have worked as high-class escort girls working their way up the ladder. Of course this is kept under wraps as much as possible. And the supermodel would never admit this until the proof comes out. So what do I make of this? Ignorance is bliss?

Yeah and also holy shit i'm the eternal void. The lies of bliss and heaven get you hooked and like a fish you get reeled in....

Oh yeah this enlightenment stuff sounds amazing. No anxiety, achieve cosmic bliss 24/7. Let's see what it's about....hmmm okay that was a little strange let me try again to see what's going on....Ah I'm confused, let me just reverse and re-evalua- HOLY SHIT I WANNA GO BACK. THE WORLD IS CROOKED, I DON'T MATTER, MY LIFE IS A LIE.

You have received some really good advice here. Make sure to act on it from the bottom of your heart. Make sure whatever you hold true is your bliss. Ending wage slavery could be an exciting purpose for you. However, remember that wage slavery is a state of mind. I would be more happy a teacher living to raise my students rather than building a classic business (excluding my LP) and going down the "capitalism-winner" rabbit hole. I used to crave all that passive freedom, but Ayahuasca has beaten the devil out of me like Bob Ross out of his brush. Each to their own.

Amazing video . And this is what the nuance behind these practices is, it's like the truth now people who fancy this idea of just using "psychedelics" for the expansion of consciousness beyond normal won't get. This related to the essence of your being. Now these practices is like short-circuit in an electric circuit, you get the maximum current terminal voltage being zero ( materially speaking) The essence of prakriti as he also mentioned It comprises of 3 qualities or gunas. Sattva, Rajas, Tamas Tamas- Action that is undertaken because of delusion, disregarding consequences, without considering loss or injury to others or self, is called Tamasic. So these practices would definitely escape you out of your normal consciousness to absolutely infinitum but you see the effect is gonna last only for some time, than you are back. Now, as per my current understanding two things are possible either you breakthrough to embody what you have experienced and for it you might have to go for multiple trip sessions to really figure out what it is, or otherwise you are trapped in the confusion of the radical difference of the two states, because you didn't maneuver step by step to reach that higher state of consciousness and hence is this trap or dilemma of what the fuck was it, here is where the role of a teacher comes in who let's you embody and figure out what the heck is it, now this is only possible if you are really serious to figure out the essence of your SELF. But as most people with their sloppy understanding and stupid approach to things in general, approach these substance in the same way too and hence will be screwed cause it takes responsibility to use such substances real understanding and awareness, yes they look fancy and stuff I get it but then every other thing is, that claims to pacify yourself that it will you give PEACE and BLISS and ECSTASY. That's why Teachers like these are vigilant to not recommend such products even if they know how radical and helpful they can be they would still prefer to not suggest these substances cause they feel they are liable and this what responsibility is all about it's about telling what's good for masses in general. That's why he assertively said what we need is more Sattvic quality which is nothing but the quality of balance, harmony, goodness, purity, universalizing, holistic, positive, peaceful, virtuous. That is it I don't say either it's good or bad that's totally subjective in my opinion, you and your experience will decide that for you who am I to tell you with full confidence whether they are good or bad to use such substances and I reckon no good teacher with some sense of responsiblity would do it amongst strange mass of people or where you don't know about every single individual you are putting forth your lesson to, there you talk in general sense, you prefer to sprinkle a glimpse of Bliss not the whole bottle of Bliss. You see some of these people are really smart.

Meh, he dismisses the power of the consciousness that is possible with something like 5-MeO or DMT or salvia. No way you will access that naturally through his meditation programs. Bliss and peace of mind is not the same thing as Infinite Consciousness and I gaurantee none of his students have accessed Infinite Consciousness. Of course they are not an ultimate solution. You will still have to do meditative work.

The Trap Of The Toxic Life Purpose https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Ti0fl_TUUo The Trap Of The Toxic Life Purpose What is the point of life purpose? We live a life and if we don't take on a life purpose we live a toxic life purpose because of our default wiring Toxic Life Purpose - There is no mechanism in our society that aligns high paying job with maximum benefit to the society - If you don't consciously put effort into thinking about what kind of impact you want your life's work to have, we get swayed and have purpose chosen for us. That leads to following the toxic life purpose and harm human society and the collective - We all have to survive and if we don't have a conscious life purpose, the ego looks for the most convenient in terms of easiest, the highest paying or ideologically convenient (something that reinforces your existing world view) - Your mind has a need to have a sense of community and a sense of purpose and you don't have it, your ego-mind will want to have it. If you don't have it, it is just going to happen unconsciously, selfishly - We are gradually brainwashed by it which is why it is so deceptive - But at this moment, we can become aware of the fact that there is a void in our heart due to the lack of meaning and it's going to get filled one way or another. So you can decide to take conscious control of it and decide how you can fill it. - Think "what kind of impact do I want my life to have on the world?" - It takes years of trial and error. So give yourself time. - There is no quick fix. - The amount of time and effort you put in something, it pays proportional dividends. So choose wisely. - A conscious life purpose will not only remove all the suffering caused by some dead-end job but also, help you spiritually connect with the work and helps you stay in bliss - If you don't do it, not only do you have a gaping hole in your heart but also you are living with deep-seated misery and anger brewing inside of you because you cannot express that outside due to the negative consequences - In life, many of the important choices are chosen unconsciously - The hope is in the next five years, with the help of desire, you can figure it out and escape the wage slave - Check out the life purpose course! (It's actually good) - The key is to build a POWERFUL VISION

This is my first “trip” report so be nice. I bought a pack of Kratom powder from an online vendor, since the plant itself is legal in my country (although the mitragynine is not) I thought I might aswell try it. About a week later two black ziplocks of Red Borneo and Maeng Da came in my letterbox. Since I quickly realized that pouring this powder from a zip would be really clumsy I put it in a tea container for future use. Take it from me, this stuff is like dust, hold your breath while you pour it up so you dont cause a sandstorm in your kitchen. To be cautious I did an allergy test first by taking a miniscule amount, the size of a pea and drank that in water before anything else, Im allergic to cut grass, you never know, right? No negative reaction, perfect. Experiment 1: 2 teaspoons, I flattened or scraped off the heap of powder with a knife to make sure I actually got the right amount. I put the stuff in a glass of water and had a taste, not too bad, thought it would be worse, it tastes like grass and the consistency is a bit like dirt or sand, all the horror stories I heard about the foul taste were greatly exagerrated. About an hour later I felt a little spacey, sort of like mental tunnel vision, I could focus on whatever I was doing really well but I wasnt hyped, just calm, no bliss or ecstatic pleasure. Two hours later, its hard to focus on my computer now, I dont care about what Im watching, Im zoning out alot, every 10 minutes, its like a camera lens shifting focus, it feels really good, still calm, albeit more sleepy, I kind of like this but I could definitely do more. Experiment 2: 4 teaspoons, took longer to kick in this time, still the same spacey feeling as before. Two hours later, I feel really calm now, my mind is pretty sharp, Im plastered to my couch, the more couchlocked I am the better I feel, my legs feel really good if I keep them still and focus mindfully on them. My mind is pretty quiet, would be cool to meditate with this if you wouldnt become so sleepy. I like this, I should do more some other day. Its not exactly Nirvana but its pretty cool. Next morning: My breath smells like dog-shit, apparently Kratom breath is a thing, my stomach feels a bit queasy, Ill wait a couple days to do this until I feel better again. Ive read that Kratom can be hard on the liver for certain individuals. Safety first. Experiment 3: 5 Teaspoons, I know the drill, just wait for it to kick in and peace is round the corner, except... it really doesnt kick in... Two hours later, spacey... Its uncomfortable to stand up... I feel dizzy and Im usually never dizzy, I guess this is what the call the wobbles. No feelings of intense pleasure, just kind of nervous and chill at the same time... Six hours later I go to sleep, Its reaaallyy hard, I keep waking up all the time, my arm feels like its floating just as I wake up for the tenth time again, weird uncomfortable semi-lucid feeling, nobody told me about this phase, I pass out at 3 or 4. I came to the conclusion that the tiny amount of relaxation I get is not worth the weird sleep, bad breath and general queasiness I get from the huge amounts of difficult-to-digest plant matter I have to drink, so that concludes my Kratom journey. I threw away my Maeng Da as I have no more use for Kratom, I will try anything once though, except for Datura??‍♀️.

It is up to you. But be smart and rational about your decisions at such young age. They will define your environment in the future ( not completely but it matters, believe me). Ecstasy and bliss is great, but it is not permanent, it will fade. Eventually you will have to accept your human side, which involves being social, having sex, maybe even having kids, doing some work. Life is to be lived, dont dismiss it

Stupid. You're lazy. (Replace with politically correct words if you're sensitive) School is a joke, if you are serious you can go to school, do your chores and spend 6hours sitting on a cushion and bliss out. Learning is not bad, it brings you closer to god. I know school sucks for the most part, but just accept it as practicing suffering. Essentially you want to take a shortcut, it never works.

How do I explain my awakening. I can't, you let go of ego, there is no fear within you. You are the most ecstatic you have ever been in your life. Your mind doesn't work the same and thoughts won't talk to me, they will be me. Also you laugh a lot and the experience of joy is profound. Bodily sensations become something else, there is no attachment only life. It doesn't matter if my body feels pain or I have a strong headache. I will still be in the same joy if I remember right. Also every experience comes and goes all the time and thoughts etc is forgotten instantly, I just made sure to put awareness of the experience so that I could use it now so that I can experience it at any time when I'm free. If I would skipp that awareness I might have lost time completely and gotten into enlightenment who knows. I hope that's enough. I can reach this any time if I just let go lf ego but I need it to write to you - for survival. Otherwise I wouldn't be here. I don't need to just meditate, I've let go of ego in the most joyfull times with people and it was the same. It's just that I only allow myself for such bliss when its appropriate. And it's "never" appropriate in the school system. I would do many things in my life because when you are really happy then I can share that joy and help the world evolve. I would explore the world and do many things. Kinda like Sadhguru does but in my own way. I dont think I will experience much ego backlash because then ego is needed. Then I would just have to overcome that obstacle I would be experiencing and continue. Do you get me now?

Absolute nothingness, The void being conscious... It is weird to explain it with words... Basically it is a game god plays with itself, souls meat suits etc. That state is just being. No feelings, no suffering, no self just is. Not even bliss. Any feeling, perception and label is just a part of the illusion of duality. For me this is not a competition per say. Im only arguing with myself. This thing we are... The nothingness managed to imagine it is souls, then meat suits. I think it's even more complicated but with over 50 trips behind me i'm not in a competition who is more enlightened or not. I'm merely arguing with myself anyways. Suffering is also an illusion, everything is. Including happiness and love. You need other and a world to experience these things xDD Most people wouldn't be on this forum, if they were happy before hand. In fact if they had just a semblance of what they want in life they wouldn't pursue spirituality. I know this life won't make me happy and i know there is nothing in this life which has any meaning. People leave. Circumstances change, you can't keep anything, the only constants seem to be loneliness and change. So i don't really care either way. I don't even care that i'm god, as i can't change anything yet it is in this i find my prepation to truly let go of the self in death.

God really created hell for itself. I feel the same man. Suffering madness and hell without the bliss part :DDD This dream will end sooner or later ;d I will be free

There are many regular states that seem to be outside an average human's imagination. I'm in a state of bliss 24/7. But I have desires, suffering and madness.

I was contemplating on whether to make this trip report or not, because the mods had a spaz attack about a previous post I made, but this was such a powerful trip, that's radically changed my life, I wanted to share it anyway. This is a high quality post, and there's nothing in the guidelines that suggest it should be removed, so I'm not doing anything 'wrong' writing this, even if you remove it. Set I took a very high dose of syrian rue. Setting At my house The Trip Report At around 12am, I heard these alien like buzzing sounds. I looked outside, and couldn't see anything. I checked all around the house, couldn't find anything. Then finally realised it was coming from my ears. These buzzing sounds sounded like an alien spacecraft. I had this strange sense that the buzzing sounds were some sort of portal to a hyper dimensional world, and I had the sense that aliens were watching me and wanted to abduct me. They never did. The buzzing sounds got louder and louder. The question of what was about to happen pondered in my mind. Will I be abducted by aliens? Will the universe blow up? Will it just dissolve into ashes? At this time, I was starting to get freaked out, so I pulled myself together and just sat down and did some deep breathing exercises. This helped immensely. As time went on, my coordination got worse and worse. Never to the point I was crawling, but to the point I was stumbling a bit. My perception also started to get more and more retarded. Space started falling away, distance started warping, etc. And the fear of death was absolutely huge. Its been large with me sober recently, for some random reason, but this trip of course amplified it by 1000. My heart rate was massive, and the situation felt very uncomfortable. Because I wasn't expecting this trip to happen (especially at night), due to the fact that it was rue and not psychotria viridis or root bark, these effects caught me off guard, and that gave me a real great opportunity to persevere through something that would be immensely challenging. It gave me the opportunity to really test how capable I am at loving whatever arises. Can I love the buzzing sounds that are about to abduct me? What about the lack of perception? What about the feeling of vomiting (which was the entire night)? And at first I couldn't. I felt like crying, I really thought "how the fuck is it even possible I'll get through this? This must be impossible!". I was at the bathroom vomiting, assessing the situation. Remembering that who knows how long I've got because I didn't read up on syrian rue only trip reports. Will it be 6 like a normal aya trip? More? Who knows. At that time, I was even considering the possibility that the trip could go through to work. And how would I handle that situation? I was all alone, and it was dark. Going to the hospital was not an option. Getting a friend to help wasn't either. I'm apart of a psychedelic group (who are the ones that teach me protocols and shamanic and psychedelic techniques) and messaged them to help out. But unfortunately they were all asleep. I sat down, panicked, just observing the situation I was in. I had just hit rock bottom of this trip. This was when my inner demons, my traumas, fears, lack of acceptance of myself and the world, were all surrounding me, staring me right in the eyes. I was resisting death. I was resisting the alien abduction sounds. I was resisting my perception. I kept trying to hold myself together, "if I just keep distracting myself, I'll get through it", "if I don't think or feel the alien abduction sounds, they'll go away", "if I just keep thinking about my human self, it wont dissolve" And each attempt I made at holding myself together, the abduction sounds, dissolving of self, perception issues, kept growing larger at each attempt I did. I didn't want to let go, because I was too worried about being abducted, about loosing complete perception and going insane, etc. And considering I was embarking on a less known path (syrian rue only trip) the fear of what may happen, was even worse. And on my final attempt to hold myself together, a voice whispered "the only bad thing about this trip, are the projections and labels you're putting onto it" And that, ended up being a core teaching of this trip. From somewhere, I could not articulate where, out sprang some deep wisdom, a vision for how this trip could end well instead of bad, a voice that told me exactly what I need to do to make it through this thing. "You need to accept, love, appreciate, be grateful for whatever is arising" said the voice. "Whatever arises, is always, ALWAYS good, and the only thing making it bad, is you believing so". And with that message, came a radical reorientation for what that trip was, and what it was about to turn into. The abduction sounds, we re-contextualised, from scary aliens trying to abduct me, to being loving creatures, or the universe, just trying to teach me a lesson and help me. The lack of perception, was seen as beauty and infinity. The heart rate racing, was an opportunity for me to feel my heart and get to know it better. Instead of trying to get the trip to adapt to me, the voice taught me how to adapt myself to the trip. Taught me that no matter what arises, its ALWAYS, ALWAYS! An opportunity to grow, to learn, to practice love and acceptance. And that trip, almost instantly, went from being a hell hole, to being almost a paradise, without a thing changing. I was there, just recontextualising, recontextualising, recontextualising, everything. To turn it from hell to love. To learn from it, and to enjoy it. And in that moment, as I was recontextualising what ever arises, bang bang bang, like a love gun, I got a huge sense and feeling of a flow state. A feeling of "this is what I'm meant to be doing". It just felt so right. This is the point of my life. I'm meant to be doing this, with everything. And as I did that, massive hallucinations in my bathroom formed, they were like blocks waving back and forth, and then the whole room radically changed into a hyper dimensional rainforest, with 2 shamans looking at me. The voice kept saying "keep loving, keep accepting, keep learning" "let go" Until I realised, that voice, was one of the shamans. Staring at me, like I'm doing something, that's so important, so honourable, so worthy for the world. I'm learning to love whatever happens. I'm learning to make the most of the worst of worst experiences, and to enjoy it all. And that shaman, wasn't another shaman on the opposite end of me, he was me. me and him were like 2 tentacles of the same octopus. Different, but the same. I, as being both me and the shaman, was helping myself in this strange loopy way. He was teaching me how to vomit. How the horrible pain in my stomach, wasn't just random pain, but the symptoms of traumas of my past, and not loving myself enough. He showed me, at each time I spewed vomit, how I was purging childhood trauma. He was showing me how to love those traumas, how to accept them, and then how to let them go (spew them out). He was showing me how to walk, even when uncoordinated. He showed me how even when I'm in a state of mind where my coordination sucks, I can still walk, if I just let go, feel my body, feel the flow of the environment, and allow my legs and arms and torso work together to walk. He showed me how the traumas in my mind, affect my IBS, my sleep problems, my pains in my body. He pointed to the pain in my body, showed me what childhood trauma it relates to. He showed me all the damage to my body from the food I ate in the past, how that little pain I always feel at the back of my ear, is from the mcdonalds I had as a kid. He picked up that pain, and showed me the mcdonalds remainders. He showed me what it was like to be a shaman. How to be a proper shaman, its about letting go of all your thoughts, and loving what arises. Being in flow with nature, the environment, other people, and just submitting to the present moment on a deep level. The trip ended on a good note. What I learnt - no matter what I do in life, I'll never be happy and get what I want. No matter what career, relationship, etc I get, it will never make me happy. What will truly make me happy, is learning to love whatever arises. I've been shown, proven, QED to the max, that my point in life, is to love everything. Absolutely everything. And the most counter intuitive, and amazing thing I've been shown in this entire trip, is what I always wanted in my career, relationships and spirituality, wasn't attaining love or happiness, but was the capacity to love whatever I end up attaining. Its the capacity, not the attainment, that I always wanted. And that I now will always strive for in my life. And that's radically changed my views of my career and dating. And its radically changed how I see events that happen to me. I see them now not as mistakes, or accidents, or problems or issues. I now see them as an opportunity to create what I truly want: capacity to love. - Capacity for love is enormous. Things you thought you could never ever love, are possible to love. And you should always try to, because odds are, its possible. - Love is the answer to healing. To heal your body, mind and spirit, the most fundamental, and essential element to that healing, is to love those parts of your body and mind and soul. You can do western medicine, nootropics, ayurveda or vasi healing, but if you don't firstly love the areas of your life you're trying to heal before doing all the things in the above, then its like you're building a roof before the concrete. And in a lot of cases, especially mental, just loving itself is curative. - I think the most amazing thing about this trip, was how it radically changed from being hell to being paradise, all from me just choosing to love and to see what was happening in positive light. That trip at the beginning, had more suffering that I think I experienced when I was getting severely bullied in high school. And to see how it changed just from my attitude... wow. Just fucken wow. I so amazed at how an attitude, is such a key, the key, in being happy. I'll never ever forget that experience, and forget what attitude, acceptance and love really is. All it took for me to love this trip, was a moment. It didnt take a fancy car, girlfriend, some meditation pose, delicious food... All it took was a moment. Was a state of mind. Just a state where i accepted what happened. And what this trip showed me, is the best thing, the only real thing my career, relationships and spirituality can offer me, is a moment. Think about the times you were happiest in your career. It wasn't the money itself, it wasn't the body movements of typing at the keyboard, the only, and greatest thing your career can give you, is a moment. A moment where you're blissful, accepting reality, peaceful. That's what the money gives you, or pretends to give you, is that moment. The best part of your relationship? That moment, during sex or watching tv with her/him. Its that moment of bliss, peace and acceptance. Its something which, you have the power to attain right now, not by earning lots of money, buying stuff, attaining skills. Its simply attained by your attitude, an attitude to love and accept. So why, why grind through life, go through hell working 2 jobs, talking to shitty girlfriends, having a hard time with the self hurt and pain of pickup, going through all that, just to attain that future, special moment, a moment which you already have, right now, all the time, as part of living consciousness itself. Why not just enjoy the moment now? Instead of choosing to only enjoy it after years of pain and hardship? You already have what you seek, and will ultimately get anyway. The best you can get from your career, relationships or spirituality, is the moment, is the now. Just enjoy the now.

I've just watched Leo guras videos on ego development stages. As of lately I've been spending a considerable amount of time being unitive and I think I awakened some time ago. I have hundreds maybe a thousand of hours into spirituality/phycology/myself so I am pretty grounded. My text is serious and I'm not fearful so don't see this as the avarage student that want to drop out. I go to school and it's very difficult right now. I spent let's say 30 minutes living in non duality and bliss, then I tried to study. I felt so much suffering and it was very difficult. I feel like I have two main options, to let my ego play through these two school years and unfulfilling work thereafter. Or quit school and own nothing but a van to sleep and food to eat, with some part time job caring for peoples animals, children, being a paperboy, get a certain car truck license so that I can work in a facility or something else. Just work that will make me survive. That work would also be pretty satisfying because I could be at a blissful state during manual labor when they can't control my mind. Then I could remain blissful 80% of my days compared to a very low percentage in school. What do you guys think about this? Is it a good idea? Any advice? I know about ego and survival etc and have contemplated this for almost a hundred hours years earlier in my spiritual work so I know of the risks etc. It's only now at the unitive stage that I can consider this option for my life. Get Leo gura to read this if you can help. Thank you sincerely for reading my text? Btw im 17 year old and Swedish. I've not written all peices of the puzzle so try to imagine being me and I only want advice especially from unitive people - that's the whole point with this text because otherwise you can't really grasp what I'm writing about.