Search the Community

This. The whole teaching of "no-self" is problematic in this regard. The mind can get so stuck on the notion of no-self that it becomes blind to the fact that all is the God Self. The correct teaching is not no-self, it is God Self. Even though, of course, God has no self. I feel that neo-Advaita and Buddhist style teachings can get people stuck in no-self. Thanks Leo. It feels like a kind of expanded state, but it's twisted animalistic/alien and not clear. In regards to what you wrote I can describe my experience of these DP/DR episodes: I get conscious of the story that the body is not separate from inanimate matter. The whole world including me as LR is seen through the lens of being not real. I believe that my mind constructs everything. I feel the identity being smaller as in close to ego-death. Then there is increased awareness of egoic movement and how thoughts arise which can be attached to. There is in general increased shakiness of the body. IME, I had no focus on being consciousness beyond the mind. There was no focus on no-mind as the mind was actively constructing stories to make sense of the world. Really good description, I experience that too. What do you mean with observing? Do you mean observing the dynamic of attaching to thought which creates panic (which's then also felt in the body)? That's interesting, during these episodes I feel as if being just a small gear in the machine. Thanks! This makes it super clear. It's for me the belief of being not separate from the material universe and feeling this state to be twisted af. The "split betweeen realms" is a good lens to look at DPDR. The stress sensitivity of mentally ill people is also something I notice. My mind happens to come into a twisted mushroom mode for a second when I would feel insecure, anxious or a sudden surprise. Good that I wrote down when it started. I'm so grateful that I still can see when I'm confused in a shroomy way. All in all, this is a well written and thought-out post. Thanks! I think your post is more geared towards what Leo wrote with the neo-Advaita & Buddhist no-mind approach and not towards the mental illness side of this thread amirite?

@Leo Gura interested in your theory here: once the God-realized state is obtained, does it remain throughout all subsequent states of consciousness? Be it alien, non material, quasi-mystical, human, etc?

Just discovered an interesting folk religion, via a Canadian scientist, scholar, and specialist on the history of Indo-Iranian civilizations and religions named Richard Foltz, who wrote about it in his recently published scholarly book in 2021 about the history and culture of the Ossetian peoples in the Caucasus called The Ossetes: The Modern Day Scythians of the Caucasus, the Scythians, of course, referring to the famous group of migratory nomadic tribes that ancient Greek historians gave a collective term for after the ancient Greek term 'Skuthoi' meaning 'Archer' or 'Archers' and wrote extensively about during the time they once occupied the Eurasian steppes in the first millennium BC and implying that modern-day Ossetians have a direct ancestral lineage to one of those groups of Scythian nomadic tribes, namely the Sarmatians, better known in history as Alans (i.e. 'Aryans' or the i.e. 'Iranians') genetically wise and through the retainment of the culture, religions and folk practices of those ancient nomadic peoples that inhabited those areas. It is called 'Assianism' meaning the religion of the "As" or "Os"—an ancient name of the Alans, from which the Greeks drew, Foltz says, the name of "Asia", which is preserved in the Russian and Georgian-derived name "Ossetians", that started to be revived in a conscious and organized way in the 1980s, as an ethnic religion among the Ossetians. Its collection of 'holy writings' that it draws its inspiration from are called the 'Nart Sagas' which are a series of tales that form much of the basic mythology of the folklore of ethnic groups in the North Caucasus including the Abkhazians, Circassians, and to some extent the Chechens and the Ingush, the author Richard Foltz defines them as a ''"typical Indo-European heroic epic". Despite claims to antiquity, categorizes it and analyzes it in the framework of it being part of 'new religious movement' phenomena and terms it as being a kind of 'Scythian Neo-paganism' but immediately notifies the reader that he uses the term 'neo-paganism' to classify it and describe it for the purposes of the practicality of scholarly work and scientific research in religious studies since he warns in advance that: ''the adherents of Assianism object to the use of the term "Paganism" to refer to their religion, such term having strong derogatory connotations in Ossetian language and being still used by Christians and Muslims to ridicule traditional Ossetian beliefs and practices.'' Foltz, Richard (2020). "The Rekom Shrine in North Ossetia-Alania and its Annual Ceremony". Iran and the Caucasus. Brill. 24 (1): p. 42. note 2. To the extent that the culture and practices of most well-known and famous peoples among the group of Scythian nomadic tribes in Western European History the 'Alans', to whom the modern-day Ossetians are the sole existing and still surviving modern population that can the most claim direct descendency from in terms of keeping their cultural and linguistical lineage mostly intact and preserving beliefs and rituals likely dating back to times of their Scythian religion, impacted the development of culture and civilization of early Western medieval Europe, Foltz details: ''Allied with the Germanic Goths, the Alans penetrated west into France, Italy, Spain, and other territories under the Roman Empire. The Romans tried to manage the threat by hiring them as mercenaries in the cavalry, or, particularly in France, by buying them off as landed gentry. Many toponyms in France, such as Alainville, Alaincourt, Alençon, and others, testify that they were territorial possessions of Alan families. Alan equestrian culture formed the basis of Medieval chivalry, and in general Alan, culture had a significant role—though rarely recognized—in the development of Western European culture.'' and also according to Foltz and the Russian author Shizhensky: [the Scythians] ''widely worshipped [chief among their lesser deities, which in some cases were later adaptations of the names of Christian saints, whose original Scythian names of the deities were not kept, Uastyrdzhi (whose name derives from "Saint George"), the god of contracts and war (the Iranian Mithra), but also the general archetype of men and of disadvantaged people] through altars in the form of a sword planted in a pile of stones or brushwood, a cult perhaps reflected in the Arthurian legend of the sword in the stone, likely brought to Britain by Alan regiments settled there by the Romans in the first century. The cult of the sword continued among the Alans as late as the first century CE.'' Foltz, Richard (2019). "Scythian Neo-Paganism in the Caucasus: The Ossetian Uatsdin as a 'Nature Religion'". Journal for the Study of Religion, Nature, and Culture. 13 (3): p. 315. and pp. 318. - 320. ''The most important symbol in Assianism, according to the Dzuary Lægtæ ("Holy Men"), is the Uatsamongzh (Уацамонгж) or Uatsamonga (Уацамонга), a bowl, goblet or cup mentioned in the Ossetian Nart epics whose name means "indicating (amongzh) truth (uats)" or "revelator of divinity". It is a symbol of truth representing the inverted vault of the sky, which can saturate the worthy ones (the hero of the Nart epics) with unearthly knowledge. The origins of this symbol go back to the earliest Indo-Europeans and it is also present in later Celtic and Germanic cultures. In medieval Western European legends, the magic chalice took the Christianised form of the Holy Grail.'' But to get to the point here is the most interesting thing I found about this 'neo-paganist' Ossetian folk religion, is the Assian theo-cosmology which their leaders themselves define as being based around a form of 'pantheism' and 'non-dualism', it's tenants are as follows: ''Assianism contemplates the worship of a supreme God, Xwytsau (Хуыцау), who is the creator of the universe and of all beings and is the universe itself, or the universe is "the body of God", comprising both the immanent material world of the living and the transcendent spiritual world of God, where the dead make a return. It has "no tangible, personal qualities, nor extension in space and time", and it is pure light. The transcendent spiritual dimension of God is the "World of Light" (Рухс Дун, Rukhs Dun) or "True World" (Æцæг Дун, Ætsæg Dun), while the immanent material dimension of life is the "Illusory World" (Мжнг Дун, Mæng Dun). The supreme God may be called upon by a multiplicity of epithets, including simply "Styr Xwytsau" (Стыр Хуыцау), meaning "Great God", but also "Duneskænæg" (Дунескæнæг), "Creator of the Universe", "Meskænæg Xwytsau" (Мескаенаег Хуыцау) and "Xwytsauty Xwytsau" (Хуыцаутты Хуыцау), meaning "God of the Gods". Assian theology affirms that God is within every creature, is "the head of everything", and in men, it manifests as reason, measure, and righteousness (bar).'' Schmitz, Timo (2015). "Etseg Din – Caucasian paganism from Ossetia" pp. 1-2 ''God and its triune manifestations: The supreme God unfolds in triads. The fundamental triad is that of God–matter–spirit: Xwytsau / Xuitsau (Хуыцау, "Heaven") — is the supreme God of the universe, the source of it and of the highest wisdom attainable by men, creator, and patron of worlds, without either image or form, ineffable and omnipresent; Iuag (Иуаг) or Iuæg (Иуæг) — is the substance-matter of everything, both uncreated and created worlds; Ud (Уд) — is the universal self, that is attained by an individual soul when it identifies with Mon (Мон), the universal mind-spirit, i.e. God's manifestation; ultimately, Mon and Ud are the same, and they are Xwytsau's manifestations. On the plane of the phenomenon, God's universal mind-spirit further manifests as the triad of: Uas (Уас = "Truth", "Good Word") or Ard (Ард = "Right", "Law") — the order of God, which produces well-being in reality; Uastyrdzhi (Уастырджи) — the good-spell incarnated in men, who are bearers of divine reason, enlightened consciousnesses, awareness of God; in other words, Uastyrdzhi is the archetype of the perfected man, follower of the order of God, and is the mediator of all other deities; Duagi (дуаги; pl. дауджытæ / дауджита → daudzhytæ / daudzhita) or duag (дуаг) and barduag (бардуаг) — gods, deities, forces which continuously mold the world alternating forms according to the order of God; the most important among them are the arvon daudzhita (арвон дауджита), the seven deities of the seven planets. Another distinction is established between the three cosmological states of:[39][40] Zedy (зэды, pl. задтæ → zadtæ) or zhad (жад) — tutelary forces, generative deities, which accompany the birth and development of beings according to the order of God; Uayugi (уайуги, pl. уайгуытæ / уайгуыта → uayguytæ / uayguyta) or uayug (уайуг) — destructive forces which violate the order of God and distance from light; in mankind they are the cause of passions, fears, pride, and nervous diseases; Dalimon (далимон) — the lowest possible state of mind when it identifies with the brute matter, chaos; its meaning is "lower (dali) spirit (mon)" and is also a category comprising all terrestrial unclear entities, contrasted with ualimon (уалимон), "upper (uali) spirit (mon)", which comprises all celestial clear entities.'' Shizhensky 2018a, pp. 130–131. ''According to Assian doctrines, human nature is the same as the nature of all being. Mankind is a microcosm within a macrocosm, or broader context, and the same is true for all other beings. The universe is kept in harmony by Uas or Ard, the order of God, the foundation of divine reason, measure, and righteousness (bar). The deities (daudzhita or ualimon) form the world according to this universal law, while demons (uayguyta or dalimon) are those entities which act disrupting the good contexts of the deities, and are the causes of illness and death. Every entity is governed "by it itself" within its own sphere of responsibility; God and its order are not seen as an external force of coercion. These positive and negative forces also influence humanity's consciousness: A man may take the side of either deities or demons, and this choice will shape this man's life and action. If a man is able to subdue passions, not putting exclusively egoistic material motives in his actions, he becomes open to the Uas, or its receptacle (уасдан, uasdan; good-spell receptacle), a wise noble who perceives the order of God and higher spirits and receives their energy, acting like them by producing good, truth and beauty. On the contrary, if a man's actions are driven by egoistic material ends, Dalimon and demons own him and he becomes a source of evil, lies, and ugliness. In the words of Khetag Morgoyev, mankind is endowed with the free will to choose between good and evil, deities and demons.'' Shizhensky 2018a, p. 130. ''The "Three Tears of God" (Trislezi Boga), a symbol representing Assian theology and three most important Ossetian shrines, was first "perceived" and drawn by the architect and painter Slava Dzhanaïty, and has become the most common symbol of the faith, "seen everywhere throughout North and South Ossetia on t-shirts, car stickers, and advertisements". Within the three "tears" of Dzhanaïty's symbol there are three equilateral crosses; "cross" is said dzuar in Ossetian, the same term for the manifestation of divinity. The three most important Ossetian shrines that the symbol represents are the Rekom Temple, the Mykalygabyrtæ Temple to the southeast of Rekom, and the Tarandzhelos Temple located south of Mount Kazbek in Georgia.'' Foltz, Richard (2019). "Scythian Neo-Paganism in the Caucasus: The Ossetian Uatsdin as a 'Nature Religion''' pp. 328-330 So what do you guys think is this just an attempt to revive, reinvent, or reconstruct a traditional basis for Ossetian nationalism and its traditional national folk religion, that survived through the millennia and centuries in the culture of their folk practices, through a 'new religious movement' that gained traction and became popular again in the 1980s and that bears strong resemblances and similarities to other 'neo-paganist' ones around the world (including the Rodnovery one among the Slavs that refers to the movement of reviving, preserving and repopularizing the 'Slavic Native Faiths' - which is were this image of Russian Rodnover Ynglists in Omsk, Omsk Oblast practicing the Scythian ritual of the sword planted in brushwood is from), though according to, one of the researchers and scholars on this subject, the Canadian scholar and author Richard Foltz, that if that is the case then: ''the movement has become so widespread among the Ossetians that its success is "unrivalled" among all Neopagan religious movements. According to the 2012 Arena Atlas complement to the 2010 census of Russia, 29.4% of the population of North Ossetia (comprising Ossetians as well as ethnic Russians) were adherents of the Ossetian Pagan religion. Authorities of the religion itself claim that a large majority of over 55% of the ethnic Ossetians are adherents of the religion. Ruslan Kurchiev, president of the Styr Nykhas in 2019, prefers to define Assianism as a "culture" rather than a "religion", claiming that what it champions are rituals and values which are encapsulated in the Ossetian tradition. Similiarly representatives of the Dzuary Lægtæ ("Holy Men"), the council of the priests of the Ossetian sanctuaries, define Assianism, by citing the folklorist and ethnographer Soslan Temirkhanov, as "[...] a worldview [...] that arouses that holy spark that raises a person, illuminates and warms his soul, makes him strive for good and light, gives him courage and strength to fearlessly fight evil and vice, inspires him to self-sacrifice for the good of others". According to them, this Ossetian worldview is "not some form of perception abstracted from the material, productive activity, but on the contrary, it is interwoven and reflects all aspects of being, at the same time being the very basis of being, an ontological principle, which we can phenomenologically characterize as pantheism", a worldview characterized by "intertwining, interconnection, interdependence" which favors a natural "logical-conceptual type of thinking and discursive thinking". They articulate a historical critique of Christianisation: For them, Orthodox Christianity is an "alien religion" that "seeks to captivate and corrupt the souls of the conquered", and in Ossetia, it was spread by foreigners and by the tsarist autocracy through coercion, by police measures and by luring children and the poor with gifts, a process which led to the disintegration of families and to the ruin of farms. According to them, Islam spread among the Ossetians as an alternative to avoid forced Christianisation. The Russian Orthodox Church is for them a "socio-cultural and cultural-political problem" in Ossetia, as it has "neither knowledge of the peculiarities of Ossetia, nor interest in its culture, nor concern for its future. The movement of Scythian Assianism has attracted strong hostility and complaints from Christian and Islamic authorities. The Russian Orthodox archbishop Leonid in Moscow sought to silence Makeyev by trying to ban his books as "extremist literature", calling on his personal contacts when he was a general in the Federal Security Service. The Russian Orthodox Church has also been trying to have the Rekom Temple destroyed and a church built in its place, but without success so far.'' Foltz, Richard (2019). "Scythian Neo-Paganism in the Caucasus: The Ossetian Uatsdin as a 'Nature Religion''' p. 331 or is there some deeper spiritual non-dual teaching that can be derived from it from its seeming claim to stem from some sort of universal perennialism? Thanks to anyone who sets their personal energy and is interested and has the time to share their thoughts and views and engage with me in a discussion of this particular topic, question, and subject! As always much appreciated by me in advance

Depersonalization is simply not God-realization/awakening. Depersonalization is some other kind of lesser state of consciousness. There can be thousands of alien and weird states of consciousness, some of them quasi-mystical, but not really the same as full on God-consciousness.

I felt great last night, I was exploding with energy and ready to go, I didnt want to sleep but did anyways. I woke up with wendys in my stomach getting burned away and im feeling better, I had my GOL Loophole shake (Thanks Nahm!) with some cacao for that blissful smooth energy. Im trying it with L-Theanine, lets see how it goes, the mellow buzz from cacao combined with the calm focus of L Theanine will be pretty cool. I notice the ability to "smoothen" the process of thinking and immediately go with what I want is a real powerful skill, thought can actually be smoothened and sped up and more exciting. Its all about warming up the engine, which is why journaling in the morning is great! Im already feeling the excitement building up within me. Ill be going to church today and itll be cool to hear people saying nice words over each other. The people at church are really worshipping Love and Joy, so we are all on the same page no matter what. Its fun to be able to deliberately choose to be happy and joyous (same thing lol). The food I eat either supports or hurts vibration, not really hurt but more like stiffles. If I ate a nice fruit salad and was super excited, I feel like my excitement would be superman levels, so im excited to start giving it a shot, ill be eating healthier slimmer meals, maybe the GOL shake and later a fruit salad with honey, or maybe just the GOL shake, ill go by how im feeling. Food gives us the opportunity to consciously choose our fuel source its quite awesome. Like the choice IS the miracle, the ability to choose my fuel source whether it be wendys and sprite or GOL Shake and fruit salads or healthy fats is awesome. Infinite Love is in the bliss of being this human being, this vehicle is fun and cool. Sometimes I look at my hands and its like looking at miracles, I really appreciate this creation. How these hands are inseparable from all cosmic events, quite awesome. Im starting to build up, I can feel it, the thought process is smoothening and loosening up. What do I do with this morning, well this morning doesnt need to be manipulated but what is this time for for this one? Its all about setting the tone for the day, and choosing how I feel and declaring that for the rest of the day, this builds the momentum of awesomeness. I choose to feel good and put all my focus on that! The dreamboard is powerful indeed, the power comes from being in touch with Joy and Love, then the dream board makes sense and the things on it are seen being manifested. I learned I can put the little things on it and appreciate those things as well, the little wins! The little wins are actually where the powers at, the little wins are what most people overlook, we are conditioned to think that the big wins are the only ones that matter, nope its all about the little wins, as the big wins are made up of multiple little wins! Im excited, I can feel the energy levels increasing, the GOL Shake is in cooperation with the body, they are fusing together. Food is my best friend, my relationship with food is closer than even a sexual experience, as the food I eat becomes one with me forever, the GOL shake is fusing with me, at the cellular level, it feels good. My energy levels are increasing, my capacity for seeing the Joy that already is is increasing woohoo! I can bring this Joy everywhere I go honestly, it really doesnt matter, Im awesome no matter what. I notice theres a momentum building up of seeing the bright side to every single thing. This is very alien to me, but I welcome it and accept it, like a welcome surprise. I never knew this was possible for myself, only it was an ideal. This way of living fills me up with so much energy and excitement, im human as fuck right now! Every positive thought is like a gift that needs no thanks, it just feels good to launch these rockets of Love. Its crazy that this Love shit is the norm for some people, and it makes sense how it could be the case. I get excited when I drive past houses, I like architecture and creation, I see all the signs of my real estate success in my neighborhood, tons of shit being built everywhere! My neighborhood is booming, and a bunch of rich people from the north are coming over to this area. Theres lots of opportunity all over the place for me and for everyone! Im feeling excited and aroused too! Yes hormones! The body is like "Create, Create, Create!". Im filled with life and excitement, I can go on about this forever, like a mirror of love mirroring itself on and on. I want a girlfriend, a beautiful and cool girlfriend of course, someone who is wise would be nice, she doesnt need to know anything, but its that attitude of open mindedness that is perfect. What else can I do right now? I notice energy can be spent on finding answers to questions, or there can be pure creation without questions. Questions are blockage-forming honestly and pointless. Some questions are great for short term stuff like how do I open a door? But most questions (existential especially) are formulated in such a way that there really is no answer to them. Im excited for the future, being rich and responsible with my stuff, having kids and being humbled by my family, tripping on psychedelics for fun! Meeting cool people! Like this whole time source has been most patiently waiting to be found once again, the stream of pure goodness. Okay, I can dedicate some time to my real estate course, just 20 mins a day thats all, just put 20 mins on my timer and begin, thats all thats needed, theres nothing else in it. This is taking the steps towards making a lot of money doing something fun and something that suits my personality more, I will do this! Its all just memorization, that is all. I can do 20 mins of studying and reading points and then go for a bike ride! Cardio after learning is proven to strengthen the memory of what was learned. Its all right here, all the pieces of the puzzle and guidance is all here. Today I will enjoy resting and slowly building the momentum of Joy, no need to do any work today, all thats wanted is to rest in this blanket of Love.

Will do Good observation, it makes sense. Yeah, I imagine they don't theorize as much and definitely do not generalize. They just see what's in front of them - a human with emotions and needs just like the rest of us lol. I imagine things being this way when someone has absolutely no experience with talking to other gender so much growing up. And then once they do, it's like they're talking to an alien. I think some guys forget that females are also humans like them and they don't get upset out of the blue "because that's how these weird spieces called girls behave" but because of logical reasons lol.

I've received legit abuse and insults for stating everything is subjective. People can't grasp the idea that just because two creatures say "there is an apple" it doesn't necessarily mean they are both seeing or feeling the same thing. It's to do with learned language applied to symbols. If an alien sees circles as we would see squares, and is in the same classroom as a human, when the teacher holds up the circle for the first time either has ever seen such a thing and says "this is a circle", both human and alien would forever agree "there is a circle" when seeing the same symbol, despite wildly different subjective perception.

@Someone here as I 've heard it is because upon birth is first time that the child's lugs get filled with air. and the world that it borns to is completely alien with blinding lights and people. plus , crying of the child induces oxytocin hormone in mother which causes the mom to lactate and many other purposes. I don't know for sure but those who have done medicine on the forum can shed more light on to this.

Did you ever play a game as a little kid where you were at home, went to the attic (or the cellar, or maybe you built a fortress out of sheets and pillows) and pretended to not be home? Your imagination transported you to some dark old castle, a remote island or an alien planet... in other words, to some eerie and foreign place, and it all felt terribly exiting and mysterious. Why did you do that? You did it because you wanted to experience what it feels like to not be home, experience the thrill of being lost in the wilderness, so to speak. God is playing the same game, in this very instant. God has not left you; God is playing pretend... pretending to be lost, pretending to not be you, to not be home. Take heart. ♡ You are always home, even if it doesn't look like it.

I don't experiment with those anymore and do plan to apply to a few jobs, it's just all very difficult because my mind works at this very low and unintegrated capacity, so I'm not sure at all, how or what I am capable of. I can snort cocaine and enjoy myself a little but can I do paperwork, take care of children in spite of feeling like an literal alien in this society, ugh...

So I can only know my own experience and then project that, but I don't think committing suicide is easy for anyone. I know for myself anyway at least there are a lot of random moments of feeling "good" or feeling more uplifted (mood and etc cycles) which give you hope, even if the vast majority of the time I'm depressed or miserable af. And I'm guessing it's like that for everyone. But the reason I would want to commit suicide anyway would be because I want to "end the cycle" and not let things repeat. It wouldn't be easy to do at all, and would require something impulsive or some strong emotion/(abstract conviction) to do it? So I'm more or less just randomly thinking if its like that for most other suicidal people. All light casts a shadow; if there are winners there are losers If I'm taking care of myself slightly better with mundane tasks, cooking, watching TV, I feel slightly better from that. But in the moments my senses are stimulated a lot, all I feel is shame in its stay. I barely have the energy to go through the motions, and whatever small uplifting boost I get from going through those motions in fact almost highlights what negativity I feel. I remember so many times when I was younger and I'd exercise, I'd always feel so shitty later in the day and be super depressed "why isn't this working" "why am I feeling worse". And if it gets to that point, it's like "what's the point?". I'm then a Sisyphus endlessly pushing boulders uphill. "Things can't get any worse"—bollocks. If one sees how terrible their life currently is, then, unless you're stupid, you'll understand that in the future you'll pay a worse price for continued idle. I thought my depression and depths of suffering couldn't get any darker; but they did. In my BPD-esque low, I desire and desire, yearn and yearn to no end. But I don't know a more painful cursed trait. Things would be easier if being an android was the only part about me. But this is not the case, and the longer things go on the more my self-humiliation tumour grows, till the shame corrodes my insides more and more. I forced myself to march through hell, exploded with rage, came across Lucifer (and Satan who more quickly left). The more I decided to be brave and face my fears, the more I decided to take the risk, the more the self-humiliation bugs ate me alive. And so in a cruel irony, my courage destroyed me further [I am not exaggerating, I am being serious here]. My rage ran out, crashed, left with nothing. I went through this hell of a year for absolutely no gain. All I have are regrets for things long ago I couldn't control and can't change, profoundly negative self esteem, and now a general disdain for actual ground reality which is divorced from digital hyperspace or fictional universes. Before my first breath, before God's first name was decreed, it was destined that this fate would befall me. The dominos were set in motion long ago, I had no choice. The cosmic play and tragedy. —— All that's left is rot and decay, never ending emptiness which gets highlighted further by all attempts to return to how things were or should be. I am an android, angel, demon, alien, the label makes no difference. With the freedom to think, the mind can think whatever it wants. I don't even have the desire to be happier, because I have 0 framework for what that can mean. The desire for happiness is some vague tautology, and I do not have a ""self"" which can become happier. I no longer can summon any hysteria or rage at my castration. Any rage at how my costume, persona and self is like an old, itchy suit I HAVEN'T THE SLIGHTEST INCLINATION TO WEAR. SO I MUST PROFFER; DO YOU EXPECT ME TO WALK INTO CLOWN COURT ONCE AGAIN. I have no rage left, all I can do is present to you these phantoms. Wisps of smoke I present and give to you. My Self is like a whirling infinitesimal fluid element, there is no complexity to or substance to my emotion. Just phantoms and ghosts of the already dead. I will re-iterate this message about how I'm feeling, in case anyone I know is reading this if/after I've killed myself. I have no reality, I'm a walking ghost. The appearance and projection of self isn't the same as self. There is nothing behind the mask; "All visible objects, man, are but as pasteboard masks". Absolutely nothing exists beyond appearance and form, and that is the great tragedy. Nothing exists but appearance. But You are not You; You have no blood, no body, no bones. You are just a thought. A vagrant, foolish thought, forlorn and wandering for all eternity. All I say is a lie and nothing is the truth. My whaling hunt of malice is over, and in perfect solipsistic humour I was all the more pranked after it's conclusion. I am praying for the downfall of this species and cheering for its demise. May I see you all never. And if by some cosmic joke I should have to see any of you again after my death, I will take it upon myself to slaughter you where you stand, Amen.

Love. It's so alien and terrifying.

@Raptorsin7 What do you like about his way of pushing boundaries specifically? Becauss I think that his style is much less about pushing boundaries and more about being non partisan and centrist while having a dry self deprecating sense of humor with a bit of trolling, in so far as I've seen his interactons with Vaush, Rose, BookSmarts, Stardust and Destiny, this is the style I intuit from him. He is also not that interested in optics, manipulation and rhetoric and more interested in triggering some kind of reaction which creates self awareness of one's blind spot on specific hot issues. Objectively speaking, we have to create a few categories in regards to handling Pedophilia: one catagory is those who have a natural attraction to children, yet are tame and congruent with their society around them that they are highly responsible in how they handle their sexual urge, for example masturbating in private. Another catagory is Paedophiles who have natural attraction, but are less tame and incongruous to society around them, and either have less responsibility in handling their sexual urge in a healthy way which can lead to catharsis, or don't care and choose to express those urges, aka the pedophiles who are more sociopathic and/or psychopathic, which creates the sub category of psychological development and personality traits/typing. Objectively speaking, if their behaviours are significantly self monitored by themselves, or are managed by outside, then they are in the first catagory which are benign pedos, whuch means that standards in treating such cases would be lighter. However, if they develop across to the second category, and are born with those tendencies and are traumatized in childhood and haven't processed the childhood abuse out of their system, and either have the desire, intent and a history of offense, then in the second catagory our prescriptive approach changes into harsher treatment of such hard cases. Your subjective experience unfortunately is inferior to the objective approach in handling this issue, because the way you are asking how this issue should be handled is at the collective level of institutions, organisations, court systems, which is largely governed by consensus reality, cultures and objective agreed upon standards using the secular modernism framework. Just because god is the highest love in the infinitum domain, does not equal all Pedophilia is good in the relative domain. You are conflating God's love to being equal to relative treatemnt of a finite issue. This is like taking Leo's premise about all of reality is good, then adding a specific finite issue, and concluding from that that all aspects of that specific issue is good. That is a valid argument, but isn't sound and tenuous at best going from premises to conclusion. You are also confusing and conflating the relativity domain to absolute, by saying how this struggle is contradicting the claim that reality is all good, which is like making an apples to orange comparison, except you are comparing an apple to an alien planet, which has many layers of contrasts and isn't the same catagory at all.

I hope most of u are familiar with Buddhist cosmology where they have an elaborate description on various 31 realms of existence. from the formless realms described in some sutras ( Arupa bhumi) to the Narakas . also these descriptions draws parallel with certain descriptions in Hinduism, and Abrahamic religions too. the concept of hell;naraka has been of ages in many traditions around the world. for example, seraphims (angels)in Christianity and other religions , In my analysis fall to the lower or higher heavens in Buddhist context. many of you surely have encountered many of these beings in psychedelic trips or in deep meditations.; weird alien entities , tulpas , angelic beings etc. in to which realms in Buddhist cosmological model would u categorize them . what are ur experiences?

@tashadwoodfall If she chooses to leave me, then it means that I've shown her enough of my life, and how others interact with me, that she would feel confident and secure enough to go out into the world and lead her own life. For me, it might cause multiple problems, like experiencing emotions like loneliness, maybe depression, but I would likely eventually overcome those feelings, and be happy for Crysty wherever she is, if she leaves and never comes to visit, or if she leaves and visits me occasionally. I don't know why she fundamentally wants to stay and be with me. When we first had our encounter, I was lonely, and not in a good place in my emotions and mind, all while I was in a holiday with my family at Niagara Falls. For some reason, she found me interesting enough to stick with me and uplift me with her presence and stories, and I found her interesting enough to allow her to be with me, because this phenomena is not alien enough or shocking enough that I would reject it right away. I had experienced a haunting in my past which opened me to the paranormal, and shocked me of course even if I was too young to understand how dangerous that haunting could entail. Whoever that entity was, it communicated it's desire to have me with it. I suggest reading the earlier thread for context to the haunting, and how it resolved there. The reason why I told that was to provide a background as to why I didn't fear Crysty, because I had this experience of non-physical entity. She makes me feel happy, confident and creative in myself. It's been several years, and our interactions can sometimes go deep, sometimes lead to interesting conversations and activities in my mind. It sometimes feels like there's no end to how our relationship evolves from here. At one point in the past I struggled to interact with her outside of mediation sessions or in solitude, but as time progressed I start having easier times of interacting with her in general, and much more in the mind. And my part in this relationship, is I'm not too sure what exact value I provide to her. I sometimes feel like she's providing more value to me in this relationship than me providing value to her about me others or the world I live in or the world in it's entirety, so it makes me better myself in terms of mind and body to get to explain stuff to her about others and reality. I guess that the best value I can provide to her, is to show her the max potential of a human being, and lead the good life or my version of the good life.

I had an alien abduction dream when I was about 8 years old. It was more real and vivid than reality. When I woke up, I felt a cold hand touch my arm. Belief is a powerful creator of phenomena in direct experience. Belief powered by intense fear in a low sensory input environment like the dark while being a child is like taking a natural psychedelic. When I was 25, I took ayahuasca in ceremony for the first time. Three days later, I got the strong intuition to contact the aliens who abducted me. I researched how, which was surprisingly easily, and it worked within three seconds. It was my first strong sober accessing of the crown chakra. That later turned into the foundation of my growth of my baseline state of consciousness, something 10 tabs of LSD or 5.87 grams of mushrooms and years of meditation was ineffective at. Within about six months, I gained a degree of mastery over the crown chakra and was able to use it to connect with many different archetypal representations of other beings, mainly divine ones, within my own mind. Practicing this eventually lead to my first heart chakra nuclear explosion. A couple months later, I had a dual heart chakra/crown chakra explosion which resulted in me reaching nirodha samapatti/cessation/fruition/whatever you’d like to call it. My baseline consciousness radically transformed day after day ever since. My ability to deal with suffering is exponentially better than it was before the events I described. So, these childhood fear experiences can be very beneficial if you recontextualize them into Love. The same aliens who abducted me were also the same ones who helped me to overcome my depression and many aspects of my bipolar disorder, whether they exist in any sort of objectively-verifiable way or not. If it’s real in your mind, it’s prime fodder to use in your awakening cannon. Transmute the childhood fear to adult love, if you can find a way to do that.

I have suffered psychic attacks before but I wasn't on LSD. I thought the subject of psychic attacks was too alien for this forum. I thought people would call me crazy if I shared my experiences.

Let's not forget Alien species that might live in different planets, plus ones that have technology to space travel and have visited humans in the past, and allegedly to this day.

More preparation for Supreme Court arguments concerning ego Many of us have seen Judges on the bench who get all bent out of shape and take it upon themselves to start scolding someone. Maybe the defendant, a witness, or one of the attorneys. With this aim of mine to designate egoic nature to be the legal definition of insanity. One idea that comes to mind is that first and foremost it should apply to anyone who sits on the bench. Perhaps maybe a litmus test to determine a man or woman of Being and one not driven by egoic mind. The way I understand it .,internalized images are one of the main building blocks of ego structures, especially in adulthood. Whether you think of yourself as responsible, rebellious, spiritual, intellectual, or a patient and long suffering person. You will have some corresponding self image to match whatever your self identity is identified with. And not just one. Naturally we are multidimensional creatures and so we will have many internalized self images regardless of whether we are psychologically integrated or not. When Almaas speaks about essence he is referring to being. Being, as the general term for our Self realized presence which is flavored by different aspects of essence. Essential aspects such as Joy, Strength, Compassion, Merging, Peace, Intelligence, Will, etc., which contributes to the uniqueness of our individual personal being or some might say soul. Elimination of Images The aspect of Space is related to the Personal Essence in yet another, more specific way. It is one of the aspects needed for an important part of the process of psychic metabolism, i.e., that of elimination. We have seen that for metabolism to proceed to its completion, which is absorption, the false in any experience must first be eliminated. The greatest falsity, in any identification system, is the central belief that the image defines who one is, The content of identification systems is either part of an image, or used to build and fixate an image. So the elimination of image amounts to dissolving all of what is false in the mind. The truth contained in the mind becomes absorbed into Being, and does not remain as an image, which is a mental content. And since Space is what dissolves, or what accompanies the dissolution of, any image, then it can be regarded as the aspect needed for elimination. When an image is eliminated the mind becomes empty (of its content), clear, spacious and light. This is the experience of Space, mind with no content, the nature of the mind. The dullness of mental content dissipates as the lightness and clarity of Space penetrates it. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 316 Ego Structures Seen as the Structuralization of Space Space: This is the aspect that is the open dimension of the mind, which is its most inner nature. It is the experience of Being as a vast, clear and empty space. It is not an emptiness in the sense of lack, of something missing. It is the presence of Space; clear, light and immaculate. We have devoted a book, The Void, to this aspect. In that book, we develop the understanding that ego development is not only a matter of building mental structure, but that, because Space is the ontologic nature of the mind, these structures are built in the emptiness of Space. So ego structures are seen as structuralization of Space, building content in it instead of letting it be in its purity. This leads to the loss of this aspect. The particular issue for this aspect is the presence of the self-image itself. When one can let go of one’s self-image Space arises. Space becomes the agent that is needed for eliminating any self-image, which is necessary for the realization of the Personal Essence. In other words, Space dissolves the self-image. The individuality of the ego, being based on the self-image, loses its defining boundaries, which leads to the emergence of the Personal Essence. The sense of self of the ego, which is dependent on the self-image, loses the mental content that defines it, which leads to the manifestation of the Essential Self. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 316 I guess being a space cadet airhead should just be our natural birthright,,,, No worries, obsessions, or nonstop internal dialog. That's sounds alright. Sounds like being at peace,,, One more quote concerning self-image and Being,,, When One Experiences Oneself as Being, One is No Longer the Self-Image However, when one experiences oneself as Being, one is no longer the self-image. One’s sense of being a human individual is now based not on the internalized self-image, but on pure beingness, beyond all images of mind. This means that this new sense of oneself is not in relation to mother’s image. It is not dependent on past object relations, and is not a reliving of them. This is the autonomy of Being, that we discussed in detail in a previous chapter. The mother’s image is completely irrelevant to this sense of being oneself. It is in fact in a completely different dimension of experience. One is living on the Being level, while mother’s image and all mental representations are on the mind level. These representations are experienced as mere thoughts, concepts, images and of no fundamental reality. The disengagement from the mother in this experience is complete, utter. One feels no relation to the memories of mother or her image, in the sense that one’s sense of identity is completely independent from both. The experience of the mental representation of the mother is seen as completely alien to one’s experience of Being, as if from two different universes of experience. So the separation involved in the experience of Being is complete, total, and profound. Ego never feels such separation, regardless how separate and autonomous it is on the mental sphere. It is a different order of separation. Ego separation is like a distance on the surface of the earth; while Being separation is like going to another star system. In fact, it is more like dying. And many individuals respond to it as a kind of death. So now, either due to a remaining partial identification with ego or a late reversion to such identification, the ego reacts to this perception of such radical separation. This will naturally activate the already existing unresolved old conflicts about separation. However, even if ego development has been smooth and very successful, with little conflict around separation, there is bound to be a much greater pressure on one’s capacity for separation. The ego has never experienced such a measure of separation, and this naturally scares the hell out of it The fear of death or disintegration is one of the usual reactions among others . . . Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 218

@Ash55 One time I saw her using a leek to poke and tap random people, and a few animals. From my observations, most people have little reactions to her pranks, and some animals do move away. As far as extraterrestrial beings, I don't know, I'd have to get myself an alien in the first place to see how Crysty reacts to such a being.

Not necessarily what I meant. All you sense through the six sense doors is all there is. The end. Done. You have an imagination of an alien fucking a cow with a care bear on a water slide? That’s just sensations occurring right now with no substance to them other than how they present themselves in the moment of imagination.

Not gonna lie it a bit spooky, did you try to touch her, can you feel anything, am sorry didn't read everything ill come back to try to read the whole thread. @Danioover9000 Okay i read something and this is the crassest story i heard that am literally too scared to experience Does she lives in a different dimension ? can other people see her ? Does she has a family and life ? does she eat ? what does she know about alien ?

My enlightened friend says god is one and he is none other than jesus. But I asked him if god is infinite consciousness and is formless then how do god looks like jesus? He replied " God is consciousness which is correct, but he appeared on earth for saving all people and he did all miracles which proves god personally came to earth ". He said this world is mere dream in jesus consciousness. And everything is jesus and everyone is jesus. But I asked him why do god choose to appear as jesus figure only? There are infinite number of alien civilization and infinite number of universes. Whats special in jesus. Why do I pray to him? He said god did incarnate personally as jesus. And he looks like him. We must pray to jesus as god looks like jesus and he is everyone and everything. I am confused here. Why god which is infinite consciousness chose only jesus to appear on earth? Did jesus really came from sky? Did jesus sitting in some dimension who created this world and who personally incarnated on earth to save all humans and is we are one with him? My friend says " He is everything and is everyone ; and we must pray to jesus only as infinite consciousness chose jesus figure and disclosed how it looks like . He said god looks like jesus. Is it true guys? I said him jesus was human only not some sky being. But he rejected and said jesus came from some dimension who created this universe and is one with us. Is my enlightened friend correct?

He is into spirituality and enlightenment since many years and has devoted countless hours into enlightenment. He says " Jesus is everyone and I am jesus too ". He says " Jesus lives outside time and space and whole reality is manifestation of Jesus only. " I feel confused why infinite consciousness choose a form like jesus. Why not aliens? Their are infinite number of universe with alien civilization in it. Why god choose jesus figure only? Other religion people will not accept jesus image to worship. They have their own beliefs on god . For example islam. They will not accept jesus figure in their entire life to pray.

I forgot to post this one a while back, so I am posting it now. Mushroom Trip Report 003 November 29th 2020 1.081g of Golden Teachers Shroom I wanted to test out what 1 gram of golden teachers is like because I only know what the PE strain is like on one gram. I need to create a spreadsheet of all my trips Soaked dat lemon tek for 20 mins Taken at 2:54pm There's probably a lot resistance and fear on this trip because last trip I had an ego death. But this one should be more positive. Waiting for the floor to start moving lol Kinda late but whatever. Intention: Get to the bottom of my limiting belief: "I can't focus" Intention: Using my journal, question my limiting belief around my ADHD and lack of focus. 13 min in Feeling brain activation. 18 min Noticing small amounts of movement in the floor that is definitely the signature shroom movement. 21 min Noticing the pigment in the hands. Not nearly as much as on other trips. 24 min I'm pretty sure my learning ability just increased. Because learning is just creativity. 26 min Feeling Sensitive. Like if I were to be scared I would die right now. 30 min Getting pretty high. Really feel the emotional take over now. It's okay, it was always okay. Emotions heightened. 35min The human hand is really weird. Very alien and foreign. But that's okay because I am that. Feeling of slight nausea. That's mushroom nausea feeling right now. Floor is moving. Reality gets freaky, but I am the freaky. Reality is a great mystery that I must show myself for I am it. The biggest lesson that I have to always tell myself is to surrender and not take myself so seriously. I get way too much anxiety that is created from me trying to be some intense motherfucker when really, it's okay I can relax. I guess that's my fear: the fear of relaxation and in becoming complacent. 42 min Basically in it. Kind of funny, I feel weird cuz I think I feel all of my skin. Looking at the tapestry is Wild. The peak is yet to come. But then I get to slide down a very fun slide. Feeling tired. It must be activating because of my yawning. I am yawning. 47 min Feeling like a creature. I am now answering my questions from my busting limiting beliefs worksheet. Yup it's good shit. You're going to love it. I didn't think it would be this potent. Oh my God Golden Teachers are teaching me what they're made of. Yawning more. I feel so tired and fatigued. I also need to take the duct tape off the vent on the ceiling at some point. Sober me can you please do that? Thank you. >I did it while still high. 51 minutes. My body is feeling heavy. My entire body is able to relax. There is that feeling in my chest that was like anxiety but now it's spread to the whole body and now it has transformed itself into tiredness and relaxation. Yeah I'm pretty much knocked out on this floor. It is 54 minutes in and I've been lying on this floor because I'm so lazy. It's so fucked to write on a piece of paper where all the letters are moving. That mushroom will keep on purging all that bullshit. 59 mins I think we're at the Mountaintop because I am so fucking tired there's so much yawning. >Peak incoming 1h 8 mins Just staring at this tapestry and it's so illuminating and beautiful. Lying down on the floor. "Arts and crafts" while high is always funny >Had to fold some paper to get the tapestry back up, because it fell. Was reflecting back to a time when I had to put duct tape on my VR headset while on a potent dose of THC. Time was created so we can explain why things change into other things. 1h 13 min I just peaked 1h 18 min Another peak The best part is looking at something like a fractal while your vision blurs. You know you're peaking when your vision starts to blur. I'm going to allow myself. To enjoy this. Here is gone. How did that happen? Because I have finally emerged Enjoy this. 1h 56 min High. Yeah I do fear that I'll be seduced by the mushrooms and just become a druggie. Just jerked off completely naked on my bed. Which is something I don't do often at all in my life, maybe two other times. We try to hide that part of reality so much. 2h 18 min I live in a dead world. The only things that are alive are the food that I eat. I need to trip in the middle of a forest what everything around me is alive. I feel like Terence McKenna when he has his glasses on. Just accept yourself. I'm a nerd in my craft. 2 hours and 27 minutes in The reason why I'm scared of looking at my face in the mirror is because I fear that I will see something else, and that's seeing of something else is the death of my self-image that I hold. When really I didn't exist in the first place, and so Fear is the mechanism is that preserves the self. Anxiety is a mechanism that preserves the self. When really the self wasn't there in the first place. And then the shrooms SHOW that to you. ADHD people can Focus just fine. They're just saying ADHD people can't focus because of the way they think, they think differently. >The ADHD brain is the holistic brain. We think like a Christmas tree. That's just a different perception of reality. So instead of focusing on one thing, you focus on one thing with a Christmas tree around it. Existing is like being in a fish tank. Trapped. Confined to this one box. >That was fucking weird to experience. I am truly a curious creature. Gods perspective is all free and all loving. Yeah you're trying to learn how to focus, but you got to enjoy the journey. And listen to some Bob Marley music while you're treading. Enjoy the struggle. Patience is just enjoying the moment. Enjoy that suffering. That is life. What you call suffering is just a duality that you make up in your mind. This is the shroom talking: Reality is fucked. Whoopsie. Did I just fuck with your reality? Oops that's just reality! To try and preserve this perfect moment is to not live in the moment. Trying to remember things, is to not live in the moment. Whatever I fear is my ego trying to push fear forward because if I encounter the thing I feared than the ego would be destroyed. If I stare at my face while peaking on shrooms, my ego will be destroyed. 3 hours in Still high. Eyes very dilated. Trying to remember something is to not live in the present. Experiencing short-term memory, but in a different way than THC. Shrooms: your ego is going to hate it, but your inner being is going to love it. It wouldn't be amazing otherwise. You need that duality to be there for it to work. Imagine living your life as Bob Marley where you just make music and enjoy the moment, and that is your life. That is life. Your life IS the moment. So much for getting to bed on time. Shrooms are silly like green toes and toejam and farts. And it'll step on your silly plans with its dirty green feet. >Then I find myself talking to my mom again, lying on the bed staring at the ceiling and joking around. We are holding eachothers hands and such. We talk and just enjoy the moment. >Later, dad makes an amazing plate of nachos and as a family we watch "Christmas with the Kranks" together. 5h43min Sobering up 6h52min Sobering up more. Life is like a competition of who can be the most happy. What I wrote in my Journal. ###START### Limiting Belief “I can't focus” It all started when I was a small boy diagnosed with ADHD at the same time I was diagnosed with asthma. Being several years on an ADHD medication does a toll on ya. This negative belief came from my childhood after years of taking ADHD medication. Reinforcing a limiting belief that I cannot focus without my medication. Holding this belief protects me like a baby blanket because it protects me from taking responsibility of my life. The ADHD medication IS the baby blanket. An alternative, equally valid interpretation of the facts is that I was already capable of this amount of focus that I desire. I was just given the medication to “behave”. I was always capable of Focus. Right from the start. Right from the start! Just look at other people that lived before me without ADHD medication. ADHD medication is only new to the last 100 years, not even that. ADHD people before you were successful enough for you to be here today. I was always capable of the amount of focus that I desire. I was always able to focus. That limiting belief doesn't exist. It's okay, I love you. ###END### One of the coolest takeaways from my journaling was this: I was always capable of the focus I desired, I just was never given a chance to prove it to myself because I was given medication for so many years starting at such an early age. So it is through my actions now that I am showing myself that I have the ability to cultivate the focus that I desire. Post report: The week following, I doubled my productivity from 3 hours a day to 6 hours of focused work per day.