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Day 7 of 90 Total meditation time: 7 hours Managed to get 2 hours in today. I struggled a lot through my first meditation this morning. I was feeling pretty shitty physically and I reeeeally had to pee halfway through, but I figured that created a good opportunity to be mindful of the discomfort that comes with all that, but to be honest, I don't think it worked well and if anything it just made my meditation way worse. As someone who's not an expert, I feel like there's a only certain level of discomfort that can be explored mindfully before it just becomes too much of a distraction that prevents me from going deeper. Maybe I'll change my mind on that later but that's how this morning felt. My second meditation actually went extremely well. The full hour was pretty tough, but I managed to start creating a deeper separation between actuality and imagination. I've been doing the SeeHearFeel technique, and in this meditation it started becoming very clear that every time I "feel" something, only about 40% of my consciousness (as a really rough estimate) goes towards feeling, and the remaining 60% is still "seeing" things. For example, if I feel my breathing, yeah I'm feeling those sensations, but so much of my mind is still visualizing a body breathing, but at a much more subtle level. Or if I feel my feet touching each other when I'm sitting cross legged, I still think a majority of my awareness is taken up by my mind visualizing what my legs look like and the seated position of my body vs actually just feeling the tingly sensation of my feet or legs. It seems like it will take a lot of practice to untangle this, but I can picture massive benefits from doing so. This meditation alone started triggering psychedelic memories of what it's like to feel without the additional context of the mind visualizing a body or adding any other thoughts on top of the actual experience. Without all the additional context, the present moment starts getting very alien and "flexible" in the sense that it is able to change in weird ways due to not being grounded in so much context. Cool stuff.

I think this could be more indicative of a waking dream. When children's minds are still developing they can actually hallucinate a lot of things that adults can't. I remember having dreams or even waking moments where aspects of the dream were still prevalent at that young of an age. I would also have dreams that were in my room that felt so real, it seemed like I was awake, only to see something completely out of context, like a demon or a leprechaun or something. Normally I take people's paranormal experiences into account, but when you're young it has been shown that more often than not it is a side affect of having a growing brain, on top of this memories from this age can be easily distorted and are so flexible. I have had two experiences as an adult where I woke up to something that was seemingly paranormal, but I am open to it being the remnant of a dream as well. The first time, I woke up and there was a pitch black alien, with skin as shiny and smooth as an orca. It had high cheek bones, grey eyes with a gradient, a calm expression, a mouth, bald, female, and the sheen that illuminated off of the skin looked pure white and seemed to be coming from an energy source inside of the body. As if it was a pitch black entity that was running of of a core of pure white energy. It was resting, mirroring me on my bed on its own little pillow. The bed had extended for this hallucination, as I was actually resting at the very end and there was no more space for another creature, so it was basically watching me sleep on its own materialized portion of my mattress. I didn't react. I blinked three times, each time it got less noticeable and after the third blink, it was gone. A few weeks later, it appeared again. It was standing in the middle of my room and was about seven feet tall and was illuminated by the moon in my window. It had a black robe with a collar that also had the white sheen to it, and a very long neck with a big head, it almost looked like an African deity or something, combined with an alien. It was watching out of my window, until I stood up and yelled "Go away!" in a panic, then it turned to look at me with its big grey eyes and telepathically spoke into my mind, I could feel it's surprise as its emotions permeated me, "You can see me?!" And then, again after three blinks, it was gone. I later made a work of art, using this creature in mind, with a pitch black face from an African mask superimposed over a large sun, and within the pure white lines of sheen, I added extra detail there. I was able to influence an entity to speak to me from this picture somehow during a period of sickness. tl;dr - Childhood experiences are more likely the product of a growing brain - hallucination and it can be hard to know because you were so young. I also give experiences of meeting what looked to be like an alien twice after waking up in the middle of the night. It could have just been a dream, I have no clue.

I think it can differ from person to person. For me Mushrooms always feel much warmer, natural and gentle than LSD. LSD can feel very unpleasant and alien. Also 5 Meo Malt is much warmer and gentler than LSD or 5 Meo DMT for me. For me the more gentle and warm like LSD psychedelic is AL-LAD that is worth checking out.

@Someone here Why so many questions? Are you thirsty for a quest of knowledge, or to quench one's need for leggings, horny conquest? Hard to comprehend, that every bend and ends you go, every moral, is relative to every mortal? Morbid, I know, to consider, that morals are relative than absolute. The morals of a creature alien stage beige, to tribes like the Viking stage purple/red, Native Americans stage purple to red, businesses like hip hop industry and oil to tabaco industries staged orange and some blue, hippie communes, SJWs, leftie leaners, a pinch of orange to a dollop of stage green, guaranteed to make you leap to the greener side of the fence. Meanwhile, Star Trek's stage yellow space systems quite complex, until we discover an alien intelligent hive mind hybrid artificial intelligence, stage turquoise and beyond maybe. I know, so many colors, it's insane this rainbow array of morals like the coral reefs of old, so much so, that these moray eels rather prefer their muralled enclaves as the best for the whole coral reef system, to the death, good grief, ignoring the glaring hole of their whole mental prism they call home. Rather champion their standards, blind bastards, with their double standards and banters making even lib-tards pleasant like strawberry tarts! Technically, historically absolutist morality originally started in every birth and growth of empires/civilizations, to bind their peoples together some more, to bid farewell to older systems that don't work anymore to forward survival agendas way better than before, while keeping the pleasing aspects of those past systems be. So, what would it take, to make these moral nihilists wake up from their denial? Drag a fishing net, by a mile, for a while? Or maybe do a bit of sea mining? How would we develop from my/our morals to higher more inclusive morals? How many mourns of other morals do we need to suffer more? Until we survive the transformation of the globe, as our one true home? Or are we really alone? I don't know, so, we gotta shoulder on forward, warding off evil as we go.

@Eph75 The SELF does exist. It’s just not divided into many. It is ONE self or Pure Awareness looking through the eyes of all the forms it takes from human, to animal, to plant, to alien. If by ‘self’ we mean that which we refer to as the “I” living in an individual body-mind with all of its particular physical, chemical and genetic features with distinguishing traits and tendencies of thought and feeling and perception, then that ‘self’ does not exist. That self is illusory. If by SELF we mean that which we refer to as the “I” which KNOWS or is AWARE of our experience, then that Self does exist. It just doesn’t exist APART from any ‘other’ self. To be more precise, the SELF does not exist per say, because existence means to ‘stand out’ from. If the SELF is ALL THERE IS (infinite and omnipresent), then it cannot ‘stand out’. It must be WHOLE, undivided - not apart from Reality, but Reality itself. ISNESS or BEING itself. I Am - WE ARE or WE SHARE - our very BEING.

stop referring to women as "females", trust me if you ever say that in front of a women she will think its odd. Its like women are an alien species to you and you refer to them as "females". I'm 20 so I'm around your age, and I remember being your age and letting my mind be filled up with so many ideas about women from dating coaches, and online sources. Ive spent the last year detoxifying my brain from alot of the negative beliefs I picked up from the internet. I picked up the belief that women were whores, and alot of the toxic worldviews pushed on the internet. Now I'm dating a girl who was a virgin when I met her, and she's very loyal. stop expecting women to have something useful to show you, you will never find someone who lives up to that standard, you just have to appreciate people for where they are at. best of luck to you bro!

Yes I have experienced this a number of times. But I've never blacked out or forgotten the experience. I'm always conscious of everything happening. Always plugged with eyes open. What you describe is basically my experience as well. There is no effort in the process, it all happens completely spontaneously once the ego has partially or fully dissolved. For me it has usually manifested as intense body shaking and vibrating but in my most recent session I started to speak really weird noises like I was speaking an alien language. Completely spontaneous. It once felt like a band of healing energy moving up and down my body. But it all feels like a massive release. Like I'm literally shaking away contractions within the body. It's a deeply pleasurable experience and I always feel profoundly lighter and free-er after the experience. Once I started having the healing energy with 5-MeO, I started having it with other psychedelics as well. Well I've only ever done LSD once since doing 5-MeO so maybe not with all psychedelics. It happens every time I do 5-MeO so I suspect it will happen every time for you as well. I haven't done enough sessions to tell whether it stops or not. I guess it probably will.

Yeah I get it....but this human level is still a restriction. Humanity is on the path to Transhumanism, in which they fuse technology to their biological bodies. So even if you say human...its a restriction. Humanity is really headed for some very deep stuff, especially when technology and spirituality unites. It is going to be realllly different, that era is literally alien to our current experience. We just will go through a lot of in fighting, and judging, and violence first.

^ This...so much this.... ^ I've noticed...its like the weather. I've experienced profound joy the last couple of days and then woke up today...and it just felt blah....I was like really? I just accepted the feeling....it came and then it went. So I realized....its just a constant happening. Its like the freaking weather. I see why Leo said its an acquired taste. Its better than not having it...but there is something to said about ignorance too. The even funny thing is...everyone is actually already enlightened. I finally got what Buddha meant by that. You really just forgot...this is just a game of hide and seek and eventually you find it. It feels like coming home...somehow familiar....and yet also...alien. Weird for me...

@Ulax I've been studying IFS thanks to you and some others referring it, I think it might help with the judgment. I'll look into Fischer's work, thanks, I don't think im dissociated though, I feel a bit disconnected from people though, I feel alien more and more

I believe he said that mostly for himself/people on a similar level of development or in other words the few who get it. Leo is of course aware that such a statement is likely to turn off most people, but then again spirituality is probably too alien and intense for most people anyway, as there's this seditious incorrigibility to the human race. Combine that with the essentially quasi-schizophrenic fear-based prison in which humans live, and it's no wonder why they love their dogmas and conventional views so much.

I live with my god realized wife on estates I can materialize out of thin air, imagination is the limit. I spend years enjoying each of my creations to the fullest. From the most grandiose and over the top estates (im talking mega gothic cathedrals, pyramids and the like) , to the simplest comfy huts. I am in complete god mode dictating the fate of the world and of humanity, I create the story of the advancement of civilization deliberately and then forget it to experience it. My consciousness keeps generating people, culture and stories for my own entertainment. I advance civilization towards a new age of enlightenment, psychedelia and an appreciation for ancient civilizations. Society becomes a mixture of nature loving tribes, melded with futuristic tech melded with ancient architecture. Alien species intermingle with humanity and share their tech and customs with us. Fully fledged intergalactic wars take place in our skies. The war in heaven rages on right here on earth with catastrophic consequences in some parts of the planet. The aliens solve our energy and food problems, people start gaining psychic abilities. Eventually we get to the point where everyone can manifest anything out of thin air, people share their creations in a telepathic network connecting every single human being. New realities are birthed from human creativity into fully fledged VR simulations where you can enter and feel like you are in real life. Not only that but you get to customize your experience by customizing the level of pain and such. This means you can play video games, movies, books in real life, you have an eternity of content right there, you get to experience any point of view you wish in a story, you get to live out your wildest fantasies. You can save and get out of the experience at any time, or abort if it gets too much for you to handle. Nobody is forced to experience anything they dont want to experience. There is a lot of detail missing here but Im just trying to go over the most important points.

Psychedelics literally are alien substances. I assume you're certain these Jedi Mind Fuck shrooms are legitimately Psilocybe Cubensis(if I got the species right)? It's obviously improbable that you went picking them in the forest otherwise you'd probably be telling us a rather different story, or you might even be dead. More likely you bought either spores and grew them, or you bought the end product itself from a vendor you trust. At any rate, as far as I know, there isn't any experimental evidence to support the notion that acidic environments break Psilocybin into Psilocin. So the whole hypothesis behind the lemon tek method is potentially bogus. Though I suspect the people who do it experience some actual benefit anyway, especially when you consider how psychedelics tend to empower the mind. However, the addition of ginger is useful because ginger is known to combat nausea/motion sickness, with which some people struggle when doing mushrooms. As for the advice to throw out the flesh, I have no idea where that's coming from. The chemical constituency of specific parts of hallucinogenic mushrooms doesn't appear to be of significance, or at least I'm not aware of any literature that even bothers to mention it. However, based on what I'm reading from end users, the body may contain too many non-hallucinogenic carbohydrates and such that would be difficult to digest for some people. My advice though? Get yourself some 4 ACO DMT. It'll mind fuck you much better than any psilocybin-bearing mushroom. I'll post a link to a trip report of it, though keep in mind the man did 100mg, which is the equivalent of like 7 hits of acid or so. Nonetheless, it's a wonderful example of what this chemical can do. https://erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=101131

All doubt is fear. If everything is you, then what is there to fear? Doubt is the belief that something is separate so it is afraid to act. Doubt is the opposite of trust. If you trust then you don't doubt. Do you doubt your legs will work? Do you doubt your eyes will blink? If you suddenly your legs stopped working, then you would doubt whether they would ever work again. Why? Because now you DON'T trust your legs. They are not obeying you, so now they feel separate, alien. Like a parent whose kids don't listen to him, they don't feel like his kids anymore. Hell your legs not working could be recontextualized as a betrayal if you are clever enough. Doubt= fear. If all is well there is no doubt.

I have a very strong stomach I can pretty much eat anything lol. Remember how I said I don't drink alcohol so I'm sure if I ever decide to drink alcohol it would feel like I ingested a poison. It wasn't an ego backlash it just felt like I let an alien substance into my body. I wasn't scared because I knew people had consumed mushrooms. My question is just does the "flesh" have toxins or not. If not I am not making no damn tea lol. As long as its healthy I don't need to do all that stuff everyone said because my body doesn't react aversely to it. It just felt weird as it flowed in my bloodstream is all.

I had an awakening experience in my dream last night. It was horrifying. It felt like a DMT trip but with torture. I would live one torture experience such as having my back repeatedly broken by being stretched backwards over this wooden structure. Then I would flash into a new scene of laying on a table having my limbs ripped off. Then I was a disfigured fish like creature being eaten alive by some alien like predator. Then I had various body parts hung from metal wires and was flown around for the entertainment of others. This went on for what felt like an infinity, each experience transitioning into the next like a fractal zoom. Over & over again I experienced the most painful of deaths. It made me feel absolutely crazy. I remember in the middle of one of my torture sessions having a piece of advice manifest in front of me in the form of an actualized.org forum text box. The box said to not get lost in the bewilderment of the torture and rather to focus on the sensations of the experience. Essentially, the advice was to develop more sensate clarity of the pain rather than running from it. I did. I started to feel into the torture. Started to vipassanize every sensation I was aware of until eventually… I woke up. I’ve never been so happy to live my egoic human life. Never have I seen such beauty in the human experience. I woke up with a newfound sense of compassion for all life beings. Not just earthly life beings but the many, many other beings that are also experiencing deep suffering outside of our known universe. I’m glad to be alive.

are you going to experience it? who? you? or have you already experienced it? or maybe you are experiencing it right now? you, the you who fears being tortured, will not experience any of that (unless Isis captures you). who experiences it is the absolute total, and for it a torture chamber of the king of Babylon is sublime art, the same as a blade of grass. the you that fears is unreal, just a conditioning, an idea. the total infinity well that you really are is so foreign to you that you think you are like an alien

What do you think karma is? You will experience everything because everything is you. I am noticing a habit of creating separation on the forum. What Leo says is true, if everyone is you, then yes you will experience everything....and I mean everything. You will experience even stuff you DO NOT know exist. Everything in its totality. There is no separation so stop separating. So Alien life? Yes. A grain of sand? Yes. Whatever form awareness takes that is what you will take and you are already doing it RIGHT NOW. RIGHT FREAKING NOW.

Those whom you thought cared about you and loved you, run from you because to them you’ve become some strange alien. You find yourself in a place where you’re completely alone and left to deal with your souls karmic obligations and evolutionary processes. The wool is removed from your eyes and you’re able to see this earth shit for what it truly is. You’re no longer afraid of what life could possibly hand you. You tend to focus more on knowing and understanding your purpose for being here and moving and acting accordingly. You now understand that it’s time to put on your grown folks shoes, strut through the earth being exactly who you are and doing exactly what you’ve come to do. You really arrive at a place where you realize you have no more fucks to give about the things you once thought were very important.

this whole awakening thing is something new that is possible thanks to psychedelics. before the 5 meo the issue was about people who had had some spontaneous occasional awakening, or who had read about enlightenment and were looking for it through a long and hard path. enlightenment implies letting go of your ego forever, killing the self. something karmic that only happens if you are destined for it, 99,9% of the wannabe never get ir. The enlightened one, after years of searching, lets go of the self in eternity and becomes a being without desire, without attachment, who lives as an absolute without even understanding how a separate being once felt. without caring about his body or his material survival, completely unlimited, but alien to the human. Probably he spends his life meditating in solitude. For him, anything is equal to anything else. Awakening as leo says, is that one day, you, that egoic guy who could never opt for enlightenment in a thousand lives, takes a psychedelic and became the absolute for 5 minutes. this is a huge difference to not doing it, but after those 5 minutes you go back to being the unenlightened egoic individual, like leo, and you explain your story by conceptualizing everything, as leo does. It's much better to me the Leo's option than being enlightened, since you are still playing the ego game, but you have seen what it really is. the absolute will arrive, since it is reality, but why not play the ego while it exists? It is beautiful and challenging. should not be despised. seeing the absolute sometimes widens, enriches, the game of the relative. kill the relative and become absolute and return to bliss meditating sitting... so why did you create the game? let's play the best we can. the absolute will arrive

The neurons of my brain are firing within the same electromagnetic field that every single Galaxy in the entire Universe shines within. Why does a neuron fire the way it does? Because there's an active current in the field underlying it. The source of my thoughts and actions comes from outside of me exactly as much as they do inside of me. "My brain is only a receiver in the universe, there is a core from which we obtain knowledge, strength, and inspiration. I haven't penetrated the secrets of this core, but I know that it exists" --Nikola Tesla As above, so below. The electromagnetic thoughts emitted from the brains and antennae of every alien civilization in the entire Cosmos echoes throughout the ether. The mind is an infinitely entangled web of quantum states in Hilbert Space. The physical Universe appears as a brain. Physical form is metaphor for the underlying nature of the mind that naturally arises in Hilbert Space. The brain, as well as the mind, are illusory. They are thought-forms created by You within an Infinite plenum of pure quantum potential in unbounded Hilbert Space. Egoic, finite, fearful thoughts can be said to originate in the meat of the brain. Those genius eureka insights and revelations that come to us in states of meditation / heightened states of consciousness can said to be thoughts originating from one's Higher Self. Evolution is possible by the opening to Intelligent Infinity, which is coming through as the present moment, at a frequency which is approaching Infinity. As below, so above, and beyond, I imagine. In meditation, one moves further within the heart of the present moment. The present moment is infinite in frequency, and thus understanding. By balancing all thoughts and sensations within the conscious mind with the opposite charge, finding likes within dislikes, finding pleasure within pain, finding good within evil, clarity of mind is achieved and a higher frequency signal of Being echoes throughout. Beliefs are filters. Release all preconceived notions and expectations and give gratitude, for God is pure Love. The Light of God that shines deep from within an open heart, every thought and sensation speaks of Love.

I found this guy's(he is a meditation teacher) autobiography randomly a couple of years ago on youtube. he talks about how he left his home and went to the Himalayas when he was only 19 in search of his guru. the guru or the baba is an extraordinary godlike person who knows about everything and has superhuman powers like not feeling cold, knowing what other person is thinking, etc. He also briefly talks about aliens( a snake from another planet) who visited the earth and talked with his guru in an alien language. He also talks about some liquid (probably a psychedelic substance) he drank which separated his body and soul(he could fly and nobody could see him except of course his master). I don't know if it's true or not but the guy feels authentic. The biography is 15 parts long and each part is about 30 minutes in length if you guys watch it do tell me what you think about this. https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL94E8PRbVAj8sjB4ZlgQA_CTdZLUWYgTi ❤

@max duewel I totally second that! I am too and I feel like an alien struggling in a world that I'm not designed for haha.

Let's imagine reality as this nightmarish supernova that no alien or parallel universe can penetrate. Another hint - you are living in a parallel universe already. This universe is military grade protected. If you tried to understand it, you will only reach one place - infinite consciousness.

In my experience with 5-meo-dmt, 5-meo-malt and other psychedelics in general, I have been able to get only metaphysical insights. In this regard, I am really similar to Leo, I have been questioning the nature of reality for as far back I can remember. I can't get scientific insights about the nature of reality because that's not my field, God can't express his intelligence through me in that way. But what if a scientific genius like Einstein or Nikola Tesla was introduced to God consciousness? In theory, it would be possible for such a genius to channel the infinite intelligence of God and discover new technologies that could revolutionize the world. For instance, since reality is absolute infinity, there are infinite ways to create an inexhaustible source of energy, there are infinite ways to travel from a galaxy to another, and so on for any other possible revolutionary discovery. My guess is that if there are advanced alien civilizations, and it seems to be so, they have learned how to channel infinite intelligence to make new discoveries and solve all of their survival issues, such as food shortage, climate change, interplanetary travel etc. What is your take on this @Leo Gura? Has any of you guys been able to get scientific or creative insights other than just metaphysical insights from God consciousness?