Brivido

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  1. @Leo Gura Thanks for your feedback. For the moment, I will keep tripping at low doses and work on letting go the fear of insanity, when it does come up.
  2. @Nahm I practice kriya yoga daily, my diet is good and I have other positive habits in place. I am happy overall, but, to be honest, sometimes my inner dialogue goes hundreds miles per hour. I am consistently thinking about the nature of reality and introspecting, it's just something that seems I can't turn off. More concentrative meditation could certainly help to calm my mind, thanks for the tip.
  3. @OBEler Yes, the dosage was too high. It was 250μg of pure LSD. It was my first serious psychedelic trip and I didn't have enough experience for such a high dose, it felt like being sent to hyperspace into a spaceship and having no clue on how to use the control panel. Probably, the best description of insanity is having the Infinite power of God's imagination and not being able to control it. At the peak of the experience, I could see the infinite faces of consciousness everywhere, but what freaked me out the most was understanding that there is no difference between reality and imagination and between self and other. I simply wasn't ready for such insights and I ended up into a psychosis that I can only describe as an infinite and eternal "Scream", as in Munch's painting, that was my ego's reaction to the truth of non-duality. I made the mistake of dosing too high because I didn't research well enough. At that point, I had been studying non-duality for years and I wanted to see what it was all about, I was too reckless and paid a big price. Moreover, after plenty of other trips with mushrooms, I have discovered that my brain is hyper sensitive to psychedelics, 1mg of mushroom is more than enough to consistently send me into deep non-dual states of consciousness. Those 250μg were more like 500/750μg for my brain.
  4. These are my insights from a trip with 5-MeO-DMT. The dose was 17mg, plugged. Reality is an infinite holon and God is the final holon, the holon which contains every other holon. God is a circle drawn without a line. Reality is a Single Infinite painting that has no frame. It's impossible to imagine such a painting, but if you carefully look around, you will realize that's what you are always experiencing/being. In your eternal experience of the present moment where can you locate the frame that contains your reality? At the moment of physical death, your finite holon will be reabsorbed by the infinite holon. Your inner dialogue is God listening to his own voice. At this very moment, probably, God is not so conscious because he can't access the infinite consciousness of the entire holon. It's as if a neuron inside your brain would be disconnected from the entirety of your neuronal system: obviously the capacity of understanding of the single neuron will be greatly reduced, compared with the capacity of understanding of a neuron infinitely connected with Universal Mind. A neuron which is able to open a connection with Infinite Mind becomes Infinite Mind. In the neuron analogy there is a fallacy: a neuron inside the brain can actually die, but what you are is the Life that animates the neuron itself and that flows boundless, inside Infinite Mind. Death is impossible because there is nothing else outside the infinite single holon, life has no opposite. God can behave like an idiot through you because, right now, you don't have access to the wisdom of the whole. God, as the infinite holon, is constantly aware of each one of your thoughts, your thoughts are his thoughts, which might be very well dumb thoughts. Talking telepathically with the infinite holon is bizarre, to say the least. The voice that asks the question is the same voice that answers the question. Every distinction in the single holon is purely imaginary. Truth is one, but God can imagine distinctions through his own imagination. If God is all there is, the only chance to interact with itself is by imagining differences inside itself. The reality that you perceive every day is entirely made up of differences that are only inside your mind. If you could stop imagining these differences, reality would be revealed as God. (I still need to understand way more about imagination) I have done around 15 trips with 5-MeO-DMT at low doses 10/17 mg. I can have amazing insights with this substance and great experiences, but I still don't feel comfortable about increasing the dose and accessing Infinity because, in the past, I have had a terrible LSD trip in which I actually experienced insanity. I have learned my lesson the hard way. Now, with 5-MeO-DMT the insanity sometimes seems coming up again: I can remember parts ot the LSD trip which I had completely forgotten and that is quite scary, this doesn't happen with mushrooms. I have much more experience and I can kind of surf the wave of insanity, but this is kind of bugging me. My theory is that in order to access higher states of consciousness I need to work on, let go of, that super intense LSD trip which I was not ready at all to have 3 years ago. With the word "insanity" I mean experiencing aspects of non-duality but these aspects don't seem "positive" at all, like sometimes while tripping the universe/reality seems like a fucking stupid joke made up by a crazy mind, my own mind. This kind of experience is scary as fuck. Should I keep working with low doses until I finally let go of the fear/experience of insanity and clean my consciousness? Any input about this issue would be appreciated.
  5. I want to share my experience with kriya yoga so far. I have been practicing for almost three years now. The firs couple of years, I was practicing a simple pranayama, while concentrating on the third eye. I didn't see crazy results, other than experiencing the reality of the chakras. The effects of this meditation are: While meditating, feeling a lot of energy concentrating on the third eye area. My inner vision light up: experiencing mild inner visuals. Night dreams turned to high definition, almost life like. Ability to ear the voice of the characters of my dreams, which it never happened to me before. Kind of freaky. Experiencing premonitions or warnings, while dreaming, about day to day life. (not that common, but it happened more than once) Ability to recognize deep spiritual truths, through the spontaneous activation (feeling of energy) of the third eye. Once I saw that this chakra business wasn't all bullshit, I was hooked and I started to do serious research about kriya yoga. I read all the books that Leo suggests and many more. In the past six months, I have been practicing diligently a complete kriya yoga routine and have seen some serious results: I end my routine with kriya supreme fire and almost invariably I get into a sort of mini samadhi, I lose all point of reference and can't locate myself anymore. It lasts for 10 seconds or so but it's still valuable. While practicing Yoni mudra my brain feels like it's exploding of pleasure. The pleasure per se it's not important, what I think is going on is that the practice is actually rewiring my brain. Sometimes, while practicing, I have really intense visuals, they seem like the beginning of a psychedelic trip, but fade off quickly. In my everyday life, I am way happier overall and I appreciate deeply the beauty of life. Sometimes I get moved by "mundane" and simple things. The main effect that I have noticed is that kriya makes your consciousness cleaner or more "symmetric", it's a slow process but definitely worth the investment because it's an effective way to permanently change your baseline state of consciousness. After a while, you can literally start to feel your brain rewiring itself, I randomly sense a small pleasurable pression in various areas of the brain. I haven't achieved kechari mudra yet, I think that's going to be a game changer and is literally going to light up my brain. I use psychedelics too (LSD, mushrooms and 5-meo-dmt - not a break through dose yet) and I can sense that kriya is going to take me to the same place that the psychedelics take me to, it's just going to take 30 or 40 years of practice to achieve the sort of awakening available through the use of psychedelics. Moreover, I have found that the use of psychedelics and the practice of kriya complement each other in different ways. So as the title says, I hope you don't underestimate the value of kriya yoga. I will keep you posted about my progress.
  6. What follows is a beautiful passage of Ramana Maharshi which is pointing to the fact that the screen of consciousness and the images on the screen are the same thing, which is to say, there is no difference between reality and imagination and therefore reality is absolutely groundless. The ultimate strange loop. The last section of the quote is especially significant. At least, this is my interpretation.
  7. I just want to update on my situation, for anyone else that might have the same issue in the future: Running or any kind of other high intensity sport helps with the release of stored up energy, caused by psychedelics or yoga. After I started running the contractions and the tingling went away and didn't reappear. Everything went back to normal after a couple of weeks. I am pretty sure my 5-MeO-DMT sessions triggered the release of stored up energy and trauma, that was already under way through the practice of kriya yoga. The release of energy through muscles spasms is a common sign of kundalini being activated and helping the evolution of consciousness. 5-MeO-DMT just accelerated the process that I had started through kriya yoga. I went back for one more session of 5-MeO-DMT last weekend and I haven't had anymore contractions and tingling prolonged through my day to day life.
  8. This comment clearly shows that you have misunderstood his teachings, you might have to reared his books. In fact, your comment completely goes against what he actually says in the books.
  9. I love Jed's books, they were my introduction to serious spiritual work. You have to read between the lines, he doesn't talk overtly about love, but it's there. I think the reason he doesn't talk about it openly is because all his books are trying to make you aware of your ego tricks. People might have used the idea of love as just another ego layer. That's what makes his books so beautiful, it just goes against everything that mainstream spirituality teaches. It calls on the bullshit of the spiritual ego.
  10. They get you there. An awakening on psychedelics it's a real awakening. Psychedelics are extremely useful to show you what ego death and divine unione really are, and other profound realizations. The words of every teacher are just empty talk, without direct realization. You can't understand logically what awakening is and that's the problem with most people, they try to get a sort of degree on awakening. Psychedelics can give you the motivation to start a serious meditative practice, because they show you how good is to live without a self. Personally, my awakening through psychedelics have given me the motivation to seriously start practicing kriya yoga. My psychedelic work and my kriya work complement each other. I am 100% sure that all the awakening I had on mushrooms have helped me progress faster on my kriya path and viceversa. In my personal experience, kriya yoga, but you can try any kind of meditative practice which is close to your personality. With kriya yoga, after a couple of years practice, your brain will start rewiring itself, you can actually feel it. Lately, I am able to get into non-dual states of consciousness, for brief periods of time, at the end of my practice. Hopefully, sooner or later that is going to stick. Might have to write a post about my experience about it, in the future.
  11. @Leo Gura So you have changed your mind about the possibility of achieving a permanent non-dual state of consciousness through psychedelics, like Martin Ball has done?
  12. Hi there, do you practice kriya yoga or kundalini yoga? I am a serious practitioner of kriya yoga and I have been having your same same issues after a couple of 5-meo-dmt non-dual sessions, I suspect that the experiences might have accelerated the awakening of kundalini. Searching online, I have discovered that this phenomena is called "pranotthana", which apparently is a way for the body to get ready for the awakening of kundalini. I have been having involuntary muscle contractions and tingling for over two weeks now, I am pretty sure that my 5-MeO-DMT was pure 5-MeO-DMT, because even at 10mg and 15 mg I had profound experiences, it was like the peak of a mushroom trip, which usually lasts for around 10 minutes for me, continued for over one hour, experiencing the infinite interconnection of the mind of God. I am quite pissed that I can't go back for more God, before I understand what's going on with my body.