Noahsteelers34

It is a million times better than scrolling through TikTok. The point of life isn't to constantly be doing personal growth. You must do things that you enjoy. This forum is here for the entertainment of all of us, as well as allowing us to connect with like-minded people. Think about if this forum didn't exist. People would waste time in other ways, and we would have no access to people who think similar to us. This forum is a very rare place and should be preserved.

A good man embodies higher values and is actualized. This means he has been through the ringer of life, and has conquered it. He has learned how to master himself and has created his life in a beautiful manner. The values encompassed by a good man are different for every person. My personal list is as follows: Strength: Enduring uncomfortable emotions, situations, and sensations without reactivity or complaint. Displaying maturity in one's self-discipline, and in the occurrence of adversity. Decisiveness: Displaying leadership in your self-conviction and decision-making. Leveraging your life experience to make powerful decisions in your life. Having self-integrity with those decisions. Having a passion for what you believe in. Not being Wishy-washy. Wisdom: He has learned from his large bank of life experience, and has reflected on it. He has gained deep insight into life, and the principles of proper living. Delivers Results: A good man can provide for his family. He can handle the shit when the shit hits the fan. This means that he produces results in the real world.

Don't think about anything, dont worry about trying to accomplish anything

Just try and have fun and enjoy yourself. Let loose.

@flowboy I’ve only been seeing her for 3 weeks. Plus I don’t even know what classifies being in love with someone.

@Raze @Hojo it’s called post nut clarity hahaha

@NoSelfSelf I’m not sure I’m following what you mean

I have been struggling with indecision. I’m currently seeing a few different girls, and have found myself constantly chasing girls that are “out of my league” and not that interested in me. I’m just done with the games. Constant flaking, and being stressed out over the girls I am very attracted to. on the other hand, one of the girls I’m seeing is really into me. I’m so busy chasing these other girls, I’m not worried about her at all. At the same time she really likes me for who I am and doesn’t play games. I find her attractive and we have fun, and she is chasing me to a certain extent. For context, my last relationship ended because I was so indecisive about wanting to be with her, so I took her for granted. My main issue with this girl is the culture difference. She is from Indonesia, and I am from America. I am worried that those cultural differences will get in the way down the line. But she is the kind of girl who I can say anything around, and she doesn’t care because she likes me. She is always down to see me and doesn’t play these stupid games with me. my question is how do I know when to actually commit to a girl, and get over my indecision of always wanting to find someone else.

Hey I can definitely relate to your post for certain periods in my life. I went through a period of being super disciplined, feeling like my habits were perfect, and then still being miserable. Then falling into binge eating episodes. I have largely conquered this to a certain extent. I stopped doing things to get somewhere else and started focusing on finding the things that I love doing in and of themselves. The key word for me is balance. Finding a way to make the most of your situation, while focusing on finding exquisite balance. Not overstraining myself, but also not being too lazy. Creating alot of structure by having an abundance of activities to occupy me. Not just thing that strain me but also activities that allow me to unwind and relax even if that means just lying on the couch and staring at the wall. What are the things that make time disappear for you? What do you actually enjoy most about life. Seek the answers to these things. Find hobby’s, something to work on mastering, not for any reason but because you enjoy it. I would work out at the gym, mediate journal, read books, but it was all because it was all because someone told me that was what I was supposed to do. I now focus on doing the things I really enjoy, that are also win win. also focus on radical acceptance of things as they are. Seneca said “a man is only as unhappy as he has convinced himself he is”. Obviously you can’t just accept a terrible situation and be totally happy, but there is something to be said about just enduring suffering with no resistance, knowing all will pass at some point.

@pablo_aka_god Im not saying don’t talk to new girls. I’m just saying the whole paradigm of “cold approach”, does guys more harm than good. instead be a social guy. Pick up turns getting laid into some complex puzzle. I’ve also never got laid thru social circle. I got laid thru being social, and being natural. yes be highly social and talk to new people, but remove the paradigm of pickup.

Why do you think the guys who are actually getting laid don’t need to do thousands of “approaches”. It’s because there is no such thing as “cold approach to them”. Any time I’ve gotten laid, it was never from going out with the intention of “cold approaching” women. It was much more natural. this is what I’m realizing about dating. I was focused on cold approach, but that is completely unnatural to approach thousands of girls. go to party’s and socialize. Do social activities that are social. Talk to the person next to you in line, elevator, bus. If you feel called to say hi to someone say hi. It should feel light and natural, with a small level of tension. the other day I did this. I ended up going on a date with her, then taking her home and sleeping with her. All of this dating content is doing more harm than good, as your interaction with a women is completely natural and intuitive. You don’t need to force yourself to go to a mall just to cold approach women.

Can you give some more context or backstory. I know from experience that people don’t just randomly scream, pull guns, or call the police. I approached thousands of people at my sales job and only had the cops called once. How are you approaching these girls?

@flowboy How about a strategy where I am social with everyone, aswell as approaching girls? Being more indirect when I approach "Hey I know this is random, I just wanted to come say hi and meet you", and then going for the date if I can tell she's into me, if not I dont push for it, but just say "i throw parties at my place, you should come. Bring a friend". We already throw lit parties at my crib, but my roommate is the organizer who invites everyone so I don't get laid from it. Its hard because we only throw these parties once a semester because we get the cops called on us, and it makes a mess out of our place. I would probably need something else I can invite people to. I need a strategy to meet all these guys and girls I will invite to these gatherings. There are 40k students here, and hot girls everywhere and it feels like a waste if I don't meet them. Just meeting people in my classes or extracurriculars is not a good strategy for me either, because the volume isn't there. I simply lack the experience of flirting with girls and need more exposure. I need a way to direct this relentless drive I have to approach and talk to shit tons of people, and use it in a way that I am just known as the social, extroverted guy, as opposed to it being weird.

I spent the last 3 months doing hardcore door to door sales as my college internship. Knocking doors 6 days a week, sometimes 10 hours a day, selling smarthomes for vivint We used extreme techniques including knocking the same door 20 times thru the week until someone answered. Knocking when it was pitch black, aswell as pitching people until they basically told you to leave. I talked to thousands of people. By the end of the summer I was an utter savage, and had absolutely no fear or hesitation to approach and pitch/ small talk anyone. By the end I was on fire, where in the last week I was the top rookie salesman in the office. There is so much transferable knowledge. you have to be very confident, social, lead, aswell as be very assumption and escalate. On top of this I saw how how I turned from a terrible salesman to a bad ass salesman within my months just through shear experience, repetition, and persistence (knocked on 600 doors before getting a deal) I returned back to college, yet still feel like I can’t approach women. It was easy in sales because I had permission and I was in Colorado where I didn’t care what anyone thought. I feel if I could apply my sales skills to approaching It would be insane but I just feel stuck. My approach skills are insane, but it’s just a completely different context and situation. I feel it’s weird for me to approach on campus and that I’m not allowed to. I'm at the point of saying fuck what everyone on this campus thinks is me, and just approach whatever girl I want, even if I develop a reputation.

I went through a break up recently. The most important steps to take are to get yourself back to an emotionally attractive state. Take a dance class, or boxing, or something that you enjoy that challenges you. Get proof that other women are attracted to you. Meet new people, have new experiences. Gain optimism about your future with other women. Get over any delusions that she was special or the one. List all of her flaws and reasons she wasn’t right for you. Make a list of all the reasons you are value. Approach new women.