Noahsteelers34

@Insightful27 I was in a pretty similar situation to you 2 years ago. I came to a university where I didn't know anyone. I was very inexperienced socially and with women. I am now a junior, and I have built a fairly large social circle, made some lifelong friends, thrown parties, had tons of crazy experiences, and gained a ton of experience with women and people in general. If you play your cards right, you will be a totally different person by the time you graduate. All of this while usually being the only sober one! My advice would be to not be afraid of making mistakes and making a fool of yourself. My freshman year was basically just me falling flat on my face over and over again. Take every opportunity to have new experiences. This means just saying yes to more things instead of sitting in your dorm room. Just being more social with people in general will inevitably lead to new experiences, new friends, and cool stories.

It sounds to me like he was trying to compensate, with this sort of "fake alpha" persona. Paradoxically, the guys who label themselves alpha and try to be alpha come across as insecure and cringe. It’s all just a big compensation. Instead imagine just being comfortable with who you are, and not needing to prove, or defend yourself to anyone, and being humble. That is actually far more attractive. For example: last week a girl asked me how tall I was. I told her 5’8”, when I’m really 6 ft. She didn’t believe me because she was 5’8” and I was way taller. I just called her crazy for thinking I’m not 5’8”. She loved it and couldn’t stop laughing because I didn’t need to prove myself.

Do door to door sales.

The big issue for me is Instagram reels, aswell as YouTube shorts on the phone. The short form content is so addicting and entertaining. For me no form of settings is gonna stop me. The more important piece is just having better things to do and self discipline. I’ve noticed when I have a lot of free time that’s when these things become a problem. My main issue isn’t that I can’t stop watching, but I haven’t fully figured out if I truly want to eliminate these things.

I personally love to dance where no one is watching me. It allows me to let loose. I was doing Qigong for a while but for me that was too ridged, so I trsansition to just slow dancing, and moving my body in whichever way I feel like it. It’s been very useful combining the meditation with the Qigong, and dancing. I think it’s super useful way of getting me to relax and getting me in a flow state; especially when I’m stressed and my mind is overactive.

I have many women friends. Most of which I do not want to date or have sex with, even though they are not physically ugly. The same way you have platonic relationships with you family members that are women, it is the same with friends. I know guys who thing your girlfriend should be able to have any friends that are guys. I feel like that’s just so insecure. My last girlfriend had guy friends and it was totally cool cuz I knew all of them. I don’t get what’s so weird about a guy and a girl just being friends.

@Wisebaxter imagine learning a whole instrument just to pick up girl hahaha. This just seems like one massive way to avoid actually facing tension. “Wait I got to learn to play the guitar and then I can go out and talk to girls”. Carrying around a guitar would make me a weirdo unless I’m like a professional I have tried learning guitar before, and it is a huge investment of time.

@SeaMonster it’s not about just getting girls. It’s about massively improving my confidence around women, and my social skills, aswell as gaining a lot of experience. put it this way, there are thousands of gorgeous women on this campus that I will never meet if I don’t make an effort. That just seems like a golden opportunity wasted.

@SeaMonster yeah sorry I don’t feel like paying thousand of dollars in dues to join a frat, plus since I’m a 2nd semester junior so they would give you a bid anyways. Frats here are closed to outsiders meaning you either have to be in one of the frats or be a girl. I have a decent social circle but that doesn’t get me the results I want. I think you are missing the point here. It’s not to get laid, it’s because I want to go out and be social and have fun. I don’t understand what’s so crazy about that.

@Wisebaxter hahaha, I'm sure that's exactly what it's gonna look like

That is interesting. Could you elaborate on your experience going out solo? I think for me, a wingman would only be good if they were as focused and serious at improving as I was. Otherwise, they will just distract me and drag me down. Its probably more for a booste for morale and motivation when things arent going your way, or helping make things fun; although you can argue that you will grow more learning to do those things on your own. I think this is true if you want to get to an elite level of any activity. But imagine if someone wanted to learn basketball, and they didn't go out and shoot hoops because they couldn't find a "basketball wingman", or didn't want to pay tons of money for basketball coaching. You can obviously get really good just playing pickup basketball and teaching yourself.

@Princess Arabia Yeah I agree with you there. It feels a bit dehumanizing. Like very attractive girls are not regular people. Most beautiful women live pretty regular lives. They go to work, that take a shit, they have struggles and suffering, and they lose their loved ones. @SQAAD It sounds to me like you need to talk to some of these girls without trying to sleep with them and see how they are just regular people. Then you can have compassion. I have personally met beautiful women who were very kind, sweet, and giving. This idea that just because a girl is attractive means she has no substance, I think is preposterous. I personally think there are just as many stuck-up shallow men as stuck-up shallow women.

@Wisebaxter In my experience, people are usually not going to initiate interactions with you. Any girl I have every dated, I had to make myself important to her by taking initiative. She may think you look mysterious but that doesn't mean shes gonna come over and talk to you.

Yeah I think this is good advice. I usually get the best results when I babystep my way into it. For example, I will tell myself I am going to drive there and say hi to one person. Before I know it I'm in a conversation with someone. I think it may be a good exercise for me to do to get over my fear of being there alone, but not a strategy that I would rely on to improve my social skills My soon-to-be roommate is interested in game. The problem is a lot of these guys don't conceptualize it the same way, and don't treat is as serious as I do. Its not like he watches videos online, and goes out with the purpose of approaching. He goes out, gets drunk, and says hi to some girls every now and then How would I even bring this up to him? Just say "Hey I'm trying to get better with girls so I'm going out every friday/saturday, with the goal of talking to 25 new women per night, as well as meeting a bunch of new people. If you would be interested in doing this with me I think it would be a lot of fun". Its very rare I feel for someone to make an actual deliberate, intelligent effort to improve this area. Most guys I've met will talk to a girl here and there, but don't go out with that intention in mind.

I highly doubt there is a pick-up forum for State College, since it's a college town in the middle of nowhere. I've taken many ice baths, and it definitely doesn't cure approach anxiety that's for sure. It does train your "just do it muscle", and reduces the resistance. In my experience, it's physical tension, whereas approaching is emotional tension so they are completely different. Knowing me, if I'm not in constant action I will get super awkward and shut down sitting there by myself if no one is talking to me. Im also not a big drinker so I would literally just be sitting there staring at the wall.