Hello All,
I wanted to share how I am synthesizing and integrating some of the profound insights from Actualized.org into my course at Northwestern University School of Law School.  Specifically, in an assignment for a class called Effective Professional Communication where we are taught how to apply persuasive communication, effectively and professionally.  
Coincidentally, the first time I heard Leo’s lecture on “Content vs Structure” was back in 2019 and I just so happen to be Northwestern University’s campus grounds, working on a construction project.  At the time, my beliefs were so limited I  could not envision myself as a law student because I believed I wasn’t smart enough and the effort it would take to be in the position to become a high performing student as such an institution was only a dream.  I want to give credit to Leo’s lecture as a source of inspiration and a teacher who helped me begin the process of jail breaking my mind.  As he repeated says, these teaching can take years, even decades to integrate so you might as well start now.
In a discussion post assignment this week I was asked to respond to the following prompt:  
“Describe a piece of oral presentation (in person or online) that you consider excellent.  You should limit yourself to either one aspect of the full presentation or one point of analysis.  For example, you might discuss how the tone of the speaker made a dull subject compelling.  Other aspects to highlight would include visual aids, argument structure, use of the stage, humor, audience identification, use of language etc.  In responding to posts, try to develop some norms for the specific attribute cited.  The goal is to look for both an understanding of best practices and the possibilities for creating a useful tension between expectations (norms) and enallage (deliberately misusing grammar or other rhetorical practice).”
 
My Post
When I read this assignment, I was excited because I have many oral presentations in mind that I consider excellent and, at risk of sounding grandiose, also life changing.  I love intellectually engaging lectures that help me grow.  That said, while I have many personal favorites there is one, after careful contemplation, that stands out above the others, in the context of this class and the task of this assignment.  That oral presentation is by Leo Gura of Actualized.org, titled “Content vs Structure.”  https://www.actualized.org/articles/content-vs-structure  (Other favorites at the end if you’re interested)
Now, I realize not everyone will be interested in this topic, nor will they find value in the lecture the way I did upon listening for the first time.  Therefore, if you decide to reply to my post, you need only listen to the first thirteen minutes of the long-form lecture to get an outsized gain relative to time investment (minutes 0:00 to 12:44).  That said, if you only have a minute or two to invest, focus on minutes 1:48 to 2:29 where Gura connects his core concept to the English language relative to other languages.  What makes that moment compelling is how Gura “goes meta”, prompting the listener to notice how language shapes interpretation, then grounds the listener’s attention back to the “content vs structure” frame.    
So what aspect of Gura’s lecture do I consider especially excellent?  My perspective is it is in his application of a framework called “recursive framing,” where he repeatedly returns to the core framing of “content vs structure” while exploring the concept with depth from many perspectives backed by relatable examples.  Doing so serves as cognitive cohesion for listeners via a continuous upward spiral of learning, allowing the listener to learn but also learn how to learn (the meta move).
Moreover, Gura’s meta viewpoint flags the common point of failure in value systems and worldviews, specifically pathological fixation on “content” while missing the underlying “structure” of a thing.  Such fixation creates a situation where thinking becomes locked in a particular paradigm with no way out.  That is, until the “structure” enters consciousness, creating new conditions where the mind can jailbreak itself from that paradigm.
Pedagogically speaking, the method of recursive framing creates a scaffolding for the mind, reducing cognitive load, especially when communicating dense or abstract material.  The scaffolding acts as guardrails, keeping the audience from getting tangled in their own thoughts, continually drawing attention to and bringing the audience back to the “structure.”
Additionally, recursive framing introduces rhetorical enallage by “abusing” the expectation of linear progression and the professional norms that value simplicity, getting to the point, and time efficiency.  A linear progression, by design, does not repeat itself; it does not pause to discuss what the audience might be thinking, and it rarely turns inward to assess its own assumptions.  Gura, on the other hand, breaks this norm deliberately.  He makes the meta move, commenting on the listeners’ interpretive habits, then restates the core framework to ground attention.
Last, in terms of a norm we could extract for our class, a brief “meta” communication early in a presentation could be delivered on how to listen in addition to the agenda, when the presenter invites the audience to listen with purpose and engagement.  And invite the audience not to resist the repetition, rather give it functional embrace, where each return adds purpose, clarity, correction, and application.
(Other favorites if you’re interested)
“The Psychology of the Joker,” by Alan Watts (YouTube), https://www.organism.earth/library/document/the-joker
“How Inspirational Leaders Inspire Action” by Simon Sinek (TedTalk), www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4ZoJKF_VuA
“Introducing The Theory” by Clare W. Graves, www.clarewgraves.com/theory_content/audio/CG_clip1.mp3

This is a megalist of *100 books, granted the first part is just going through alot of whats called the Greek Collections (First Assortment) But if you continue down youll see stuff that I got from another person's reading list (its not someone from Actualized dot org, but again, its possible some of these books have been mentioned), and it includes things ive added~that i thought were missing, that seemed to fit the aesthetic of this list in particular.
Some of the books on the reading list got removed, e.g., a couple books on magick i didnt find appealing since it involved things like locating a knife that is the length of a goat or something odd like this, as it just doesnt seem to be representative of the kind of esoteric/mystic (<3 divination, theurgia, spellcrafting and prayers, & vancian magick) that most people would respond to. You sortve have to look at the Greek & Roman entries into this field, or skip to the modern era, closer towards the third/fourth assortment, to get straight to the more modern writing tradition, attitude and novelettes n'poetry, or the scaffold of which everything has lead up2
So anyway, here's the list. If yous want any resources to websites and such (including words/term's definitions, or anything about Greek literature, e.g., reading material on Poseidon), feel free to ask me here.
Πρωτο Reading List: First Assortment
Apollonius of Rhodes, Argonautica
Valerius Flaccus, Argonautica
Orphic Argonautica
Petrarch, The Secret
Petrarch, Secretum
Pindar's Odes (Olympian, Pythian, Nemean, etc.)
Plutarch, Roman Questions
Plutarch, Of Isis and Osiris
Hesiod, Shield of Heracles
Hesiod, Theogony
Hesiod, Works and Days
Horace, Ars Poetic
Horace, Odes
Horace, Satire
Herodotus, Histories
Palaephatus, Peri Apiston
Antoninus Liberalis, Metamorphoses
Apuleius, Metamorphoses
Ovid, Metamorphoses
See also, Roman de la rose, il fiore, et caetera*
Ovid, Art of Love
Ovid, Fasti
Ovid, Tristia
Aristophanes, Frogs
Aristophanes, Birds
Aristophanes, Acharnians
Aristophanes, Assembly Women
Aristophanes, Knights
Aristophanes, Lysistrata
Aristophanes, Peace
Aristophanes, Thesmophoriazusae
Aristophanes, Wasps
Library Of Diodorus Siculus
Library Of Apollodorus
Library Of Photius
Aeschylus, Agamemnon
Aeschylus, Eumenides
Aeschylus, Libation Bearers
Aeschylus, Persians
Aeschylus, Prometheus Bound
Aeschylus, Seven Against Thebes
Aeschylus, Suppliant Maidens
Iamblichus on the Mysteries (See 'Chaldean Oracles)
Iamblichus, Life of Pythagoras
Euripides, Alcestis
Euripides, Andromache
Euripides, The Bacchae
Euripides, Cyclops
Euripides, Electra
Euripides, Hecuba
Euripides, Helen
Euripides, Heracleidae
Euripides, Heracles
Euripides, Ion
Euripides, Iphigenia at Aulis
Euripides, Iphigenia at Tauris
Euripides, Medea
Euripides, Orestes
Euripides, Phoenician Women
Euripides, Rhesus
Euripides, Suppliant Women
Euripides, Trojan Women
Seneca, Medea
Seneca, Thyestes
Seneca, Phaedra
Seneca, Hercules Furens
Seneca, Agamemnon
Seneca, Epistulae Morales ad Lucilium *(n.18, Saturnalia)*
Bacchylides, Epinician Odes
Dithyrambs of Bacchylides
Nonnus, Dionysiaca
Hyginus, Fabulae
Fragments of Sappho
Fragments of Simonides
Fragments of Anaximander
Lucian, Reading List: Second Assortment
Lucian, Anacharis
Lucian, A True Story
Lucian, Alexander the Flase Prophet
Lucian, Consonants of Law
Lucian, Charon
Lucian, Dance
Lucian, Descent not Hades
Lucian, Dialogues of Courtesans
Lucian, Dialogues of the Dead
Lucian, Dialogues of the Sea Gods
Lucian, Double Inditement
Lucian, Fisherman
Lucian, Hermotimus
Lucian, How to Write History
Lucian, Ignorant Book Collector
Lucian, On Sacrifice
Lucian, On the Syrian Goddess
Lucian, Parliament of the Gods
Lucian, Praise of Demosthenes
Lucian, Scythian
Lucian, Ship or Wishes
Lucian, Toxaris
Lucian, Zeus Rants
Miscellany, Reading List: Third Assortment
Aetius of Amida, Libri Medicinales
See also "Full Summary on Medea, Snake Medicine & the Context around Theriac"
Hippocrates, Ancient Medicine
Lucretius, De Rerum Natura
Parmenides, On Nature
τὰ Χαλδαϊκὰ λόγια (Chaldean Oracles): Julian the Theurgist, Julian the Chaldean
Philostratus, Life of Apollonius of Tyana
Galen, Opera Omnia
Galen, On the Natural Faculties
Pliny the Younger, Epistulae
Pliny the Elder, Naturalis Historia
Cain, A Mystery *(Lord Byron)*
Aradia, Gospel of Witches
Sir Arthur, A Study in Scarlet
John Tzetze, Ad Lycophronem
John Tzetze, Book of Histories
Georg Luck, Arcana Mundi
Sarah Iles Johnston, Hekate Soteira
H.D., Helen in Egypt
H.D., Hermetic Definition
H.D., Hermione
Hellenica Oxyrhynchia
Antonin Artaud, Heliogabalus
Ljuba Bortolani, Magical Hymns from Roman Egypt
Julian the Philosopher, Hymn to King Helios
Julian the Philosopher, Hymn to the Mother of the Gods
Carl Ionescu, She Who Hunts
Christine de Pizan, The Book of the City of Ladies
Michael Marullus, Hymni Naturales
Celsus, De Medicina
Catullus, Poems
Colluthus, Rape of Helen
Pseudomonarchia Daemonum
Karl Kerenyi, Dionysus
Karl Kerenyi, Eluesis
Karl Kerenyi, Prometheus
Karl Kerenyi, Hermes
Stephanie Budin, Artemis
Alan Moore, Promethea
Pausanias, Descriptions of Greece
Sarah Iles Johnston, Restless Dead
Sarah Iles Johnston, Mantike
Fritz Graf, Ritual Texts for the Afterlife
Walter Otto, Dionysus: Myth and Cult
Walter Otto, Theophony
Ludwig Klages, Cosmogonic Eros
Maria Mili, Religion and Society in Ancient Thessaly
Henry Chadwick, Origen Contra Celsum
Macrobius, Saturnalia
Petronius, Satyricon
Miscellany, Reading List: Fourth Assortment (in no particular order)
The Derveni Papyri
Athanassakis, The Orphic Hymns
The Orphic Fragments of Otto Kern
Thomas Taylor, The Hymns of Orpheus
GRS Mead, Orpheus: The Theology of the Greeks
B.P. Reardon, Collected Ancient Greek Novels
Algis Uzdavinys, Orpheus and the roots of Platonism
Ἑλληνιστικοὶ ποιηταί, Nicander, Alexipharmaca (from a tradition of Orphicesque Metamorphoses, Homer, Hesiod, Pindar, Sophocles, Callimachus, Alcaeus, etc.), etc.
Wasson, Ruck, Hoffman, The Road to Eluesis
Ekaterine Kobakhidze, Metaia
Herman Hesse, Narcissus and Goldmund
Federico Garcia Lorca, Blood Wedding
Callimachus, Lycophron and Aratus
Carmina Profana, Romulea X (Medea)
Edgar Allan Poe, Ligeia
Edgar Allan Poe, Morella
Boccaccio, De Mulieribus Claris
Satisfactio ad Guntharium
James Clauss and Sarah Iles Johnston, Medea
Jeffery Henderson, The Maculate Muse
Jeremy Reed, The House of the Dead
Madison Cawein, The Waste Land (T.S. Eliot)
Jack Vance, The Dying Earth
Felix Gilman, The Revolutions
Edward Bulwer-Lytton, Zanoni
Robert Graves, The Greek Myths
Robert Graves, The White Goddess
James Fraiser, The Golden Bough
Peter Grey, The Red Goddess
Reginald Scott, The Discovery of Witchcraft
Hans Dieter Betz, The Greek Magical Papyri in Translation
Henry Corbin, The Man of Light in Iranian Sufism
Jean-Pierre Vernant, Myth and Thought Among the Greeks
Marcel Detienne's The Masters of Truth in Archaic Greece
Maria Mili's Religion and Society in Ancient Thessaly
The Seven books of Paulus Aegineta
Le Comte de Lautreamont, The Songs of Malador
The Emerald Tablets of Thoth the Atlantean by Maurice Doreal
Note, this list does not focus on Philosophy/Greater literature of Greek thought and such (maybe youd call it "philosophical foundations and such"), Alas there's another +100 books that we could've added

New nonverbal prompt: pour a bucket of cold water over each other ❄️ 🪣 

It's your job to have it - whatever it turns out to be.
For one week, contemplate what listening is and what it requires.
Try to set aside your own baggage - especially what you think you already 'know' - and question what this act really is.
Other related questions:
What is the act of paying attention? Why am I listening (hearing or reading) to this communication - or manipulation? What am I trying to get out of it? How can I step out of my own intellectual world so that I can better hear? Where is this person coming from, and what is their experience? Or simply: What is actually going on in the other person's experience?

People define awakening differently. Although a trend seems to be to become more aware of something, and that creates a shift. But that can be on intellectual level, when people call it awakening that they’ve realized “society is corrupt” or something and they deeply question the mainstream and enter more spiritual thinking. And for sure it stirs up emotions and it can feel expansive so it’s not purely intellectual but they still stay on level of human psychology and the self. Or it could be becoming increasingly self aware, and connecting to intelligence of higher development (like deeper intuition).  But still on human development level.
 
But for me I feel there is one thing about reality that stands out from all those things and that would be insight/experience that goes beyond the self/mind. The term awakening can be useful for those above too but this is the ultimate I think. (I don’t know directly if reality is non dual but I resonate with the idea and have experienced shifts in my sense of self strengthening this questioning if it’s actually real)
So increasing metacognition I think can bring you a step closer to the ultimate truth because when you become aware of something more subtle in you, it might have required breaking down something greater in order to be able to notice the more subtle (or just moving your awareness inward) So it can be one step in process of deconstructing the mind/self.

It can maybe go both ways, if you are deeply immersed in something, someone may have temporary experience of “forgetting themselves” which might be a glimpse of some sort into non duality in some cases . But also by doing the opposite, focusing on your mind and self might aid in the deconstruction of it (my experience) so you tackle the very thing “in the way” by firstly having lots of awareness to it. 
So basically there seems to be layers and subtleties to our current reality and something like increasing meta cognition no matter your starting point might be a step to deconstructing that reality 
 

@UnbornTao there's no point in reasoning this. This is why I gave up on this forum and Actualized years ago.
If it's worth any update. I did 5-MeO just a few months ago and my report remains the same:
Powerful experience. Useful. Valuable. Insightful. I think it can be a powerful tool when used properly with the right understanding for purification, opening up the system, insight, healing, etc. 
But no. That's not it. It's a conditioned experience. Awakening is not causal.
Very grateful I did it and would have no problem doing it again. Pretty remarkable honestly how short it actually was. Might be my favorite psychedelic. Definitely doesn't drain me like LSD or mushrooms and so forth. 
Conditioned experiences don't lead to the unconditioned. People can have powerful experiences under the right set of circumstances while on psychedelics, sure. That seems to have happened. In my view this is more karmic ripeness and just the right set of causes and conditions in the same way certain traumatic experiences can break something open. It's subtle but it's not the thing itself specifically but rather just the particularly karmic set of causes and conditions. 
In the end though, I think people that argue with Leo and users on this forum are honestly just wasting their time. I accept people are just going to do what they're going to do, think what they think, and do what they want. Just accept it. They'll learn or they won't. This is part of reality (actually the thing that was just really clear during the 5-MeO trip). People can delude themselves, be angry, hateful, argue, bicker, blame, be kind, loving, etc. Doesn't negate critiquing bullshit as that's part of it too. In my view though, the arguments against the stuff has been had on this forum. Leo has heard it all so I don't think there's any point in debating. I wish him and these people the best and just let them be. 

I would commit seppuku
Death before dishonor 

This sort of thing happens all the time when people live together whether in a relationship or not. People will annoy you eventually. I have a friend who can't stand me flossing, and she doesn't even live with me.
The thing is, what to do about it? It's all about give and take with a dose of decent communication. Firstly, you can only control what you do. You can encourage each other to be open and communicate what's annoying you both. The danger here is that it can get a bit emotional, but it doesn't have to be, just be direct and to the point. Then ask yourself "am I willing to change for him?", if not then simply tell him so and why.
Most relationships have a honeymoon period where you tolerate each others' bad habits and let them slide. But that's hard to maintain longer term, living together can be intense and you sometimes have to come to an agreement about "how to live together", to actually verbalise it.
The second, is that if either of you are questioning the relationship, then that has to be taken seriously. A one-sided relationship never works out in the long run, someone ends up being unhappy, probably both of you. The thing is a relationship can change day to day, so it can be hard to tell. You kind of have to step back and look at the bigger picture over time.
One red flag is when you have an unequal power dynamic, where one person tries to dictate the relationship. You will have different roles in the relationship, but there should be equality and compromise at some level. If one person is unyielding, then that is normally a bad sign. Unpleasant communication can be a sign of power games, or just plain immaturity.
So. Step back, take some time to think, maybe a month or so to see how things go. Ask yourself then "do I want to be in this relationship?", "can I live by myself for a while?", "will I have a better relationship with someone else in future?". You're still young you have time.
 

What has helped me are the following lecture series: (I think lectures could be better than books for you) 
Issue with most political content is its very emotional, sensationalised, and honestly not very accurate.
 I think its helpful to take in perspectives which are a higher level and more neutral in tone.
This helps because your mind then refers more to these sources, instead of these emotional/ sensationalised styles. Leo is also rather dramatic in the way he speaks (i am saying that non-judgmentally), and i think it is good to balance that out with more grounded lecturers.
Has helped me at least.
I get though that lecture series can seem like a bigger time commitment.
----
That said, I think most important is correct diagnosis of cause of your anxiety. For example, it could be that the existential stuff is just symptom rather than cause, and you're anxious because you eat gluten whilst being a undiagnosed gluten intolerant. Random example but you can see the point hopefully. You seem like an organised guy so you could devise a plan to try and test what the possibilities are.

Hofstadter's Law
 
Hofstadter's Law is a witty adage stating, "It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law," co-authored by Douglas Hofstadter, highlighting our chronic underestimation of task duration, especially complex ones, due to cognitive biases like optimism and failing to see hidden steps (the "Planning Fallacy"). It serves as a reminder to build buffers, break down tasks, and practice patience, as even experienced individuals fall prey to this tendency to over-optimistic timelines, affecting everything from software projects to writing essays. 
 
 
Key Aspects:
Self-Referential: The law's humor comes from its recursive nature, acknowledging that even when aware of the tendency to underestimate, we still do it.
Planning Fallacy: It's deeply connected to this cognitive bias where we ignore past experiences and focus too much on potential ease, not complexity.
Cognitive Roots: Our brains are wired to be optimistic, failing to account for all sub-tasks and unforeseen issues, says a YouTube video. 
 
Examples:
Mega-Projects: The Sydney Opera House and Wembley Stadium famously ran years behind schedule, despite expert management.
Student Essays: Students might estimate 10 days for an essay but finish it one day before the deadline, notes The Guardian article. 
 
Solutions (from the Law's Implications):
Buffer Time: Add significant contingency to estimates.
Break Down Tasks: Divide large projects into smaller, manageable chunks.
Monitor Progress: Use regular reviews (like in Agile) to adjust plans.
Practice Patience: View delays as normal and opportunities for growth, not failure.

Feeling misunderstood by a parent hits so hard because it touches deep emotional needs like being seen, validated, and supported. Even if you know she means well, your brain reacts to the perceived "rejection" or mismatch as if it's a real threat, triggering strong emotions. That's why logic doesn't calm the feeling, and why the cycle keeps repeating. 
Notice the trigger - recognize when your starting to feel hurt, without judging yourself.
Pause and breathe - a few slow breaths can help the emotional intensity settle a bit.
Set gentle boundaries - it's okay to pause or redirect conversations when it's overwhelming.
Reflect later, not in the moment - write down thoughts or feelings after the conversation to process without the immediate intensity. (Ideally on a hand-held journal or paper) not online or on a device, there is an energetic importance to this that should not be overlooked.
Over time, this builds a "buffer" between emotional reaction and rational understanding, so you stay connected without getting overwhelmed.
Hope this helps <3

I wrote a MSc on using mindfulness (with music) to treat rumination (persistent, repetitive, self-focused, negative thoughts).
I had this belief before I started writing, and it was only strengthened, that 90% of cases where rumination is a serious issue have to be solved through changes in life choices or life situation. If you hate your job, quit your job. If you don't want to be in a relationship, change your relationship. That's actually where your rumination comes from. That's the root of the problem.
Of course your mind will tell you something is wrong if you're doing something wrong. That's its job. Using mindfulness techniques to distract you from the symptoms will only provide that; fleeting and moderate symptom relief. Which can be useful for eventually dealing with the root and getting to a place where your mind no longer has a reason to throw up two middle fingers, but you have to indeed deal with the root for that to become the case.
The only exception is when you use mindfulness to wildy transform your psychology, which means intense devotion and practice, meditating a minimum 1 hour a day with the goal of literally cracking your mind. Such intense devotion and practice will itself be such an expression of being integrated with your own wants and desires that rumination does not happen; what happens instead is intense obsession or even manic states (which is just the opposite side of rumination: rumination with positive instead of negative thinking just means obsessive, manic thinking).
If your actions are aligned with your desires and wants, obsession happens. If your actions are not aligned with your desires and wants, rumination happens. And your desires and wants can be highly complex, layered, flexible, as is the case when you're at higher stages of cognitive and spiritual development, but it is nevertheless the case that if you don't act in line with your desires and wants, you are at conflict with your very being, and that manifests as mental suffering.
I'll make sure to bring this understanding to where I'll be doing my work; that there is a difference between "clinical" meditation/mindfulness which is what you do for 5 minutes where you want to forget that your life sucks and you're too scared to do anything about it, vs "religious" meditation/mindfulness which is about essentially transcending your human mind and ceasing the identification with the very thing that thinks those thoughts (the personal self or ego).
That said, the study had positive results and we will be publishing it soon.

The bill would mandate that every citizen must do a 5 day vipassana retreat per year, and everyday they must meditate 45min / 2x a day, vipassana style

some recent top tier books ive read
1. Civilization and its discontents by Sigmund Freud
2. Iliad and Odyssey by Homer
3. The Secret Teachings of All Ages by Manly P Hall
4. Theory of Money and Credit by Ludwig Von Mises
5. The Black Swan by Nassim Taleb
 
All Time Favs
1. Legend of Bagger Vance by Stephen Pressfield
2. Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce
3. Shoe Dog by Phil Knight
4. Biography of Walt Disney by Neal Gabler
5. Think on These Things by Krishnamurti

Around 15 years back I quit my job and lived like a hermit for a couple of months using my savings and a creative frugal lifestyle so as to reduce expenses.
I took the time to read books, contemplate,  gain perspective and practice meditation. 
An interesting insight I found then was that my life had slowed down to the point where I  found myself enjoying the beauty of the full moon at night , something which I had never done before. Same with the beautiful orange sun set at evening. 
I even wondered why no one else around is observing such free beautiful sights and seemed to be carried away by unimportant trifles with their minds elsewhere and not present.
I am not a hermit now but make it a point to slow down and enjoy the free sights of nature around in all its beauty. This always puts me in a good mood without fail and destresses me.
A guy can live in the most beautiful place and yet still miss its beauty due to unconsciousness or psychological time in past/future, and be perpetually miserable instead consequently.

"People are living in unconsciousness, doing all kinds of things in unconsciousness. Everybody is an unconscious robot. We are just pretending that we are conscious; we are not conscious. The moment you become conscious, all unconscious actions disappear from your life.
Your life starts moving in a new dimension. Your each act comes out of inner clarity; your each response is virtuous, is virtue. To live unconsciously is to live in sin; to live consciously is to be virtuous, is to be religious. And to live in total awareness is to be a buddha, is to be a christ." ~ Osho
 
"I cannot say to you what is right or wrong. I can say only one thing to you: be conscious -- that is right. Don't be unconscious because that is wrong. And then whatsoever you do in consciousness is right.
But people are living in unconsciousness. And let me tell you: in unconsciousness you may think you are doing something right, but it can't be right. Out of unconsciousness, virtue cannot flower; it may appear virtuous but it can't be. Deep down it will still be something wrong. If you are unconscious and you give money to a poor man, watch: your ego is strengthened. This is sin."
~ Osho

My repeated spamming in the comments seemed to help finally:
 

Btw, if anyone is interested -  it seems that there are some videos uploaded on Ralston's Vimeo channel that arent uploaded on his youtube.
https://vimeo.com/peterralsto

I want to share my experience of moving to the amazon jungle to live a simple, healthy life in the ecovillage called Terra Frutis, located in the beautiful rainforest of South Ecuador.
 
Why did I come here?
There where many reasons that motivated me to leave Germany to start a new life here. Here are some of the most important ones:
I wanted to live a simple and healthy life in beautiful nature
I was visiting this place a year ago and fell in love with the jungle
I wanted to escape wage slavery in Germany
I wanted to live in a place where I have access to psychedelic plants and to live in a culture, where doing psychedelic journeys is nothing unusual
I wanted to live in a sustainable way

 
Ways of living
There are different possibilities of how you can live here. I am curently voluntering. Which means, that I work for 20 hours per week and therefore I get a cozy cabin to sleep in, unlimited bananas and a portion of all the other fruits that we harvest here.
There is also the possibility to buy a piece of land here and live like a neighbour. The land is much cheaper then in most countries. I believe 5000$ for 1 hectar is realistic. You can also hire local workers to buid you a decent cabin for 3000 – 5000$. (If you want electricity in your cabin, then it will be more expensive).
 
Cost of living
200$ per month is realistic. The only expenses that I have here are for buying food at the local market on Saturdays and the 25$ monthly utility fee. Most people here have some kind of online job like teaching english, swedish, python or mathematics.
 
Work
Monday through Friday we meet at 7am at the Community Center and usually go to a field where we have planted a lot of fruit trees. The area here is very big and there are hundreds of fruittrees. The most common task it to take a machete and clear the area around a fruittree so that it can grow better. It is not necessary to go to the gym when you are doing this kind of work. It is a good workout and a great way to start the day. Other tasks include harvesting, mapping the area and the trees and working in the plant nursery (watering and planting seeds). Besides that there are is other kinds of work that you can do if you are not working on the land: cleaning the kitchen area, taking care of compost buckets, preparing cugarcane juice (very delicious), drying bananas, preparing sacha inchi nuts, construction work, creating social media content and others. We work for 4 hours, until 11am and then the rest of the day is free. You have a lot of free time when living here. I usually like to work more because of that, doing things like creating and uploading videos for Instagram, where I document the daily life here.
 
People
I really enjoy this simple way of life. There are around 9 long term residents here, several people that live nearby as neighbours and a few volunteers who come and go every now and then. The people are really chill here, they come from different countries like England, Sweden and USA and are mostly in their 30s.
 
My impressions
I can not possibly describe with words how beautiful the nature, the sounds and insects and how delicious some of the tropical fruits here are. Sometimes we harvest a fruit that I have never seen and tasted before and it just blows me away. It is like a new world of tastes that I can explore here. I love the sounds of the jungle as well. When I lived in Germany, I had a problem with tinitus, but here I do not have it at all, because the jungle sounds are always present. I feel healthier, stronger and happier since moving here.


 
Some important information about the Ecoviallge (from their website):
( Mission
Our mission is to be a vegan intentional community, taking inspiration from agroforestry, permaculture and syntropic agriculture to produce abundant and diverse food for a healthy, high raw vegan diet, in an environment where animals and humans thrive together. We hope to be an inspiration and to share our knowledge and methods.
We practise sustainability, non-violent communication and consensus based decision-making, and seek self reliance.
 
Our land
The Terra Frutis project is located in south-eastern Ecuador, 18 km from Gualaquiza, on 136 hectares (330+ acres) of land which slopes upward towards a mountainous western border, with the eastern border being the Zamora river and then two smaller streams along the north and south as general locations for the other respective borders. The elevation is 720 meters at the river. The majority of the land is between 730-900 meters, and the top of the mountain is about 1200 meters.
Most of the food forest project is located on land used until some years ago as a cow pasture (in other words: grass). Right now there are about 40 hectares of open pasture land that we are systematically clearing and re-planting with food forest pioneers. This land can/will be re-forested with trees, shrubs, vines, and herbs that provide food in a sustainable way, using agroforestry practices that work with and encourage local wildlife species. There are also bamboo forest sections, which can provide supplemental material for numerous residences and utility buildings.
 
Access
The land is reachable by pick-up truck via a gravel road. To get to/from the town of Gualaquiza involves a 40 minute taxi ride, or a 40 minute walk to a nearby village and then a 20 minute bus ride.
 
Accommodation and Facilities
We usually have plentiful rooms and/or private structures available for you to sleep in. You are also welcome to set up a tent, hammock, or other temporary accommodation. We charge 25$ per month for utilities (electricity, internet, kitchen...). We have: hot showers, hot water, a washing machine, a clothes dryer, blenders, dehydrators, a juicer, a cooking stove, a freezer, a fridge, internet, a hot tub. We also have a community center building for recreational activities or just hanging out.
 
Food from the land
We usually have more than enough bananas (several cultivars) all year round.
Often we have papaya, plantains, jackfruit, canistel, rough lemons, naranjilla, hot peppers, and noni. Seasonally you may enjoy biriba/rollinia, peach-palm, abiu, guava, iñaco, peanut butter fruit, mandarins, starfruit, marang, ice cream bean, apai, and cacao. Sometimes soursop, pineapple, limes, miracle berry, cucumber, cherry tomato, squash, jaboticaba, breadfruit, and matoa.
We are constantly planting and have planted hundreds of fruit-bearing plants throughout the property including: durian, mangosteen, mamey sapote, canistel, breadfruit, white sapote, custard apple, blackberry jam fruit, matoa, tangelo, pomelo, avocado and more.
Beside fruits, we have a fairly good amount of katuk and turmeric, sugarcane, a little bit of taro and some cassava. Sometimes: tropical lettuce, sweet potato, ginger, corn, and nuts.
It is currently not possible to get a healthy diet 100% off the land. So you’ll need to buy food. We either order food together to be delivered, or take a trip into town on market day.
 
Climate
Temperature is fairly steady throughout the year. The warmest month of the year is November with an average temperature of 23.8°C (73.84°F). The coolest month is July, when the average temperature is 22.1°C (71.78°F). Overnight lows tend to range from 16°C to 20°C. We have rarely seen as low as 13°C. )
 

I balance my coffee with about 50ml of coconut cream which provides a nice amount of naturally occurring MCT's and fats to slow the metabolism and lengthen / smoothen the effect. I also add 1/4 - 1/3 of cacao powder, and often use cardamon, clove, cinnamon, vanilla to balance out coffee's potential negatives. You can also add ashwagandha for grounding and lions mane for brain boost. 
Matcha has naturally occurring L-theanine and caffeine so i feel that would be best to get a feel of L-theanine but with less of a spike or kick than coffee.
It is also best to take caffeine, especially coffee, no sooner than 11am and no later than 1pm cause of how circadian rhythms work.
 

Become conscious that depression is you comparing yourself to an idea that doesn’t exist.
And if it’s not that, then it’s physical, "dopamine withdrawal" : remove all drugs, porn, dead scrolling.
Avoid every substances, fact only : drink water, eat properly, meditate, read books/audiobook chill, draw.

you'll feel in hell quickly for some months but after 3 months you'll already see the benefits.

all substances that goes up will take you down, all of them, psychedelic included, your body evolved millions of years to a certain context, even using internet is already too much - information dopamine overload.

Cup grasping chad vs "I feel like I know what a cup is" beta male
 

I did psychedelics every weekend for 2 years. They didn’t raise my consciousness. My consciousness has always been expanding (which I assume is natural for those interested in the riddle of reality), and it still expands, even without psychedelics for 5 years.
What makes it expand is seeing that which was previously not seen, and understanding the mechanics of the vail - how it was hidden and how it came to not be hidden. That’s what expands consciousness, IME. And the “what” behind the vail is always my own mind. Psychedelics showed me some things about my mind but after a while, it’s a one-trick pony. 

One trap I can see clearly is some people will think they’re expanding their consciousness with psychedelics when in reality, all they’re doing is using the data from previous trips to construct even grander trips in the future, creating a feedback loop where trips become more pronounced and profound over time, which feels like conscious ascension, but in reality, your fleshing shit out sideways. 100% this is super common, and I wouldn’t rule out it being universal. 

You experience reality differently for a while because you’re discombobulated or traumatized or intensely perplexed. This does not = expanded consciousness. It’s easy to accumulate and stack these feelings and use them to trick yourself that they represent expanded consciousness. 
 

I'm reading The Book of Not Knowing by Peter Ralston. It's on the book list here on actualized.org. I'm confused by something said in the book. On page 48 it's said that "not-knowing"/consciousness may appear to some as emptiness, ignorance or as a sense of disconnectedness from the source and absolute nature of life and being. This confuses me because I understand not-knowing aka consciousness without form as the source of all life. So why would it appear as a sense of disconnectedness from the source of being? In the paragraph previous to this one it states that not-knowing is the source of knowing. This seems to contradict the statement I'm questioning. Is anyone familiar with this book and can you help to bring clarity to my confusion? Thank you.

This is just gibberish. It takes someone that knows the Absolute to know the Absolute for what it is and also for what it is not. Namely that which has nothing to do with states of mind. This has been said again and again and again and again and AGAIN for thousands of years. You guys think you're really discovering something new with this whole psychedelic thing. Explain to me why EVERY enlightened teacher that's had enlightenment experiences that have also done lots of psychedelics over the course of decades always and unanimously point out that THAT IS NOT IT. Explain to me why that doesn't sink in. They're not dismissing whatever value you may have derived or whatever emotional "healing" may have taken place. They're pointing out that that is just shit that comes and goes and that the mind makes up shit about whatever arises and passes away in experience and becomes yet another conditioned experience that is largely tainted by people's philosophical presuppositions, conditioning, and so forth and that people don't tend to realize that's what they're doing. 
Are you not aware that Brendan, Peter's assistant, that's taking over Cheng Hsin, that's had an enlightenment experience literally drove over to meet Leo to do 5-MeO and still reported "That's not it"? I mean, how much more do this really need to be made clear? Why can't it just be fucking acknowledged that nobody is dismissing the usefulness and power of psychedelics yet just call it for what it is and also what it is not and put it in it's proper place? 
No there isn't. Enlightenment isn't caused by anything. There are certain things we can do to help facilitate Realization. That's not the same thing though as saying though that enlightenment is caused by something. It isn't. The Absolute transcends causes and conditions. 
No it isn't.