Spiritual Warrior

Principle 2: Decide What you Want I'm at the beginning. The very beginning of consciously eradicating all unhealthy behavior and creating success in my life. Pushing myself as far as I can into falling in love with life.. Falling in love with God.. Falling in love with my soul. New life purpose statement: I want to encourage men and women to express themselves fully and to love themselves and life with all of their heart.

The War of Art What does it mean to make art? Art is creative It is the personification of your soul Of your greatest gift to the world Your soul unwounded Your soul unencumbered Your soul flying freely The soul makes art. What is integrative artwork? It is uncorrupted, solid Like a tree trunk True to the deepest truth True to the core of your soul True to being the best that you can be True to not giving in to resistance True to steering into fear Integrative artwork is truth. What is art if not in line with integrity? It is corrupted It is selfish It is being used to make money It is being used to manipulate It is being used for selfish desires or gains It is being used for shortcuts Art not in line with integrity is not true.

Exploring the Feminine Entry #17 All He Wants is to be Loved This character that is me. All he wants is to be loved. That's it. But he doesn't know how to get it. He has his methods and strategies, but they haven't worked so far. Where does he go from here? How will he deal with this? That's all he wants, LOVE. This is the saddest truth of all time I just want to be loved But I don't know how to get it I have twisted ways of going about it They involve using people and manipulating people into loving me It starts with self love Not love from an external source Full love and acceptance for myself That is everything that you need I am enough I am loved I love myself It is clear to me now where I must go I have to allow the fairy princess to find me I don't go out into the forest in search of the fairy princess, I go out into the forest in search of myself My true self And with each blunder, each mistake, each mishap, every struggle, every problem, every dilemma, every embarrassing moment, I fall deeper in love with myself That is the counter intuitive nature of all of this That is the goal To love myself not less with each mistake, but more and more with each mistake To love myself more and more with each disappointing truth that I learn about myself Falling in love deeper and deeper not with the feminine but with myself.

Exploring the Feminine #16 Dear the feminine I now realize that I am needy for your love, for your acceptance, for your approval. I understand now that I will fail again and again to attract you if I continue with this needy behavior. How will I fix this? Only time will tell, but I've got some ideas... And I have now shined a bright yellow light on the neediness inside of my body. It looks like an ugly little demon, slerching around, looking for little crevices to hide out in, whining in a high pitched growl. Take, take, take, that's all he thinks about. I want to extract him from my body. I want to let him free so that he can move onto something greater. But for now, he is stuck inside of me, waiting to be freed.

Exploring the Feminine Entry #15 On the topic of flirting Do girls have any idea what they are doing when they flirt with a guy? Work girl apparently had no idea that she was flirting with me, and this other girl that I was texting said that she flirts with guys unintentionally when really she's just being nice. I asked her why she thinks this happens, and she said "I just doesn't know how to talk to people." Is this how girls operate? They just flirt with guys and then take no responsibility for it? Do they always act like this? Maybe it depends on how conscious or aware the girl is. Is it possible that they are just unconscious of what they are doing? I know that many people, myself included do things completely unconsciously. It's not until afterwards that you can look at the situation and realize what you did and why you did it. You bring the unconscious into the conscious light. Maybe from my perspective, this girl was flirting with me .. but from her perspective, she was just having fun. If this is the case, then I feel like I got played.. as if she's just using me as a toy. Damn... If this is the case then we are on two different wave lengths because I am looking to fall in love and she is looking to have fun.. maybe I should just try to have fun.. switch the mindset.

"I just think he was... He was just too nice." Hahaha. I love basketball so I enjoyed this share, thanks. I'm actually playing some pick up tonight and I've been trying to trigger stage yellow in my basketball games instead of stage orange, doing anything and everything I can to make sure that the system that is my team is thriving and ultimately wins the game. This requires me to take my ego out of the equation and not care about my own success and achievements. It goes beyond just one person at stage yellow, you need to think about everyone individually and also the system as a whole. I play point guard so I can dictate where the ball goes and am at the top of the zone on defense so I can lead by example with my hustle and effort. Of course I can try to take over a game if I feel that I need to.. but the intention at stage yellow needs to be that I am taking over for the betterment of the team, not for my own selfish gains. All of the NBA greats that have several championships must have done the same thing. It's a team game and you're not going to win unless the entire system is firing on all cylinders.

I am intrigued by this. How do you measure serotonin levels?

I know its been so long Since we saw each other last Im sure well find some way To make the time pass Hey moon, its just you and me tonight Everyone else is asleep Hey moon, if I was to fall I won't fall so deep Though I doubt I'm gonna You can wake me up if you wanna And your pale, round face Makes me feel at home in any place I would happen to be At a quarter past three The moon chased the sun out of the sky Goodbye sun, the night's begun The moon chased the sun out of the sky Goodbye sunshine. the night is mine Hey moon, its just you and me tonight Everyone else is asleep Hey moon, if I was to fall I won't fall so deep Though I doubt I'm gonna You can wake me up if you wanna I would hate for you to hand there all alone The whole night through Hey moon, my old friend Hey moon, the night is coming to an end Hey moon, come back soon

You replace every negative thought with a positive thought by using positive affirmations (repeating the positive thought over and over again), visualizing something positive happening in your direct experience, using the Lefkoe method to get rid of limiting beliefs that were engrained in you from your childhood, and in general just trying to consciously steer your mind into more positive thinking. This will help you achieve your goals because negative thoughts are completely useless when it comes to achieving what you want and being happy. Yes, these methods work.

Exploring the Feminine Entry #14 Work girl rant: Alright I need to talk about work girl again. Here's the thing, I don't give a fuck anymore. I cannot talk to her about my feelings for her and that I'm trying to get back to normal .. because you know what? I don't want things to go back to normal! I'm still hurting, I don't want to talk to her and I don't want to see her. And you know what? There's nothing wrong with that! I don't need to do something that I don't want to do, and although talking to her and being honest with her in a sober one on one situation would be a great life experience for me and help both of us grow, I am clearly not ready to have a conversation like that. I went into the day on Friday prepared to pull her to the side and talk with her. I even practiced what I was going to say, but I couldn't do it... Because she scared me lol. Literally, she scared me... Ughhhhhh 😩 why do I have to be scared of this girl... Why does that happen? Fuck that dude... Fuck that! Im not going to be scared of her! I don't want to give her that power! When I went in on Friday I went in with love in my heart for her... Because I wanted to repair what we had and say sorry... But then I realized that I couldn't talk to her and I felt like such a bitch... Like an absolute bitch. The power that I felt I had throughout the week was completely gone. Because I wanted to do something and I couldn't. I don't want to repair anything .. I'm sorry but I'm still f'ing pissed off and hate her right now. Fuck this shit! Get her out of my head and out my life! You know what's really funny? Although I'm making such a big deal about this, I'm actually looking forward to going in on Tuesday and seeing her... Because it's a challenge, it's all a challenge... And honestly I don't know how I am going to act.... I have no idea... And that's whats so exciting about this work ... And that's also why you shouldn't be rehearsing conversations... No, you go into something with an intention and then you go from there... You feel it out .. and you trust your intuition and your feelings... And you do what you do. There's no need to plan. If I continue exploring the feminine with this kind of awareness I will become all-pro in this area.

Exploring the Masculine Entry #5 I did talk to my buddy about the shenanigans going on. I told him that he should have vocalized to other friend what he did wrong, so that he's not confused and not know what's going on. He didn't totally agree with me and I understand where he's coming from. It was a nice conversation and a great learning experience for me. Congrats.

Exploring the Masculine Entry #4 Two of my buddies are beefing right now. One of them is mad at the other for being drunk and embarrassing him and his gf one night. But he never actually talked to him about it in person, he just hasn't talk to him in three weeks. I think this is a very immature way to handle this situation. If you are mad at someone you should be able to talk to him/her in person and explain exactly why you are mad and why, otherwise the person on the receiving end will not understand why you're mad and be confused. I have an opportunity to insert myself into this situation and tell the friend that's mad that what he's doing is immature and he should handle this better, in a more masculine way, i.e. more up front and direct. One reservation that I have with this is that I know that I have had a history of struggling with confronting people when I am mad at them, I tend to either ghost them like he does, or get drunk and try to confront in that state, or try to get them to bring it up first somehow so that I don't have to initiate it.. I have much work to do in this area and I know it. Would I be acting out of integrity if I call someone out for something that I also have failed to do in my life? Would I be a hypocrite? Or is it more like we are one and the same and advice for him is also advice for me... Actually, if I do confront my friend about this, I would be practicing exactly what he and I should be working on which is confronting people in person when we need to. I can lead by example and get the direct experience of having the difficult conversation.. it will not be perfect but I would like to just speak my mind. This is how you get good and more comfortable with something .. you just fucking do it. This will also help me with my difficult conversations that I have to have with women, for example this conversation that I need to have with work girl from my "feminine" journal.

@CARDOZZO gracias

I'm interested in the things that you're talking about but I couldn't scroll back far enough to find the book title of this "Zan" guy, would you mind posting the book title again please?