Consept

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  1. Yes cognitive empathy is essentially taking someone elses perspective but without feeling how they would feel. This can be useful, but as its solely cognitive its really limited to whatever the input of the situation is. For example your opinion on this topic will be informed by your bias, whatever sources you used to form your conclusion, your environment etc. It happens a lot where someone has an opinion on someone they havent met because others had talked about them and then when they actually meet and spend time with them their opinion changes and becomes more based on experience. You would say your initial opinion was wrong because it was based on hearsay, this is the same with most that comment on the black community that are not black or from those areas, essentially their opinion is formed on what theyve heard. This is pretty much a human trait where we want to make sense of the world so even though we have no experience of something we create a fully formed view of it.
  2. There is value in an outside perspective but many times I've seen flippant opinions, where its just 'oh why don't black people just stay married' or 'why can't they just be less aggressive to police'. There's not much compassion or understanding and I find it weird how people with absolutely no experience with black people to the point where they think they're a different species, are so quick with judgements. Its like looking down on them for not coming up with the solution they thought of. It's like if, without much knowledge, I have a strong opinion on Korean culture, maybe I hear crime is on the rise there, for me to assert a strong opinion to a Korean person would be borderline insane, especially if I'm dismissing their opinion. That doesn't mean any other opinions not valid but I think really imagine being in someone elses shoes and yes have compassion and understanding, or an intention of understanding and don't make sweeping judgements.
  3. Brian Rose fighting for some reason, at Dan pena Castle, skip to 2.24
  4. Did you not read my post, I've worked in youth services so I have been hands on problem solving. The point is that black people can't wait for these big, overarching attempts at systemic change. Diversity training is cool, they've been doing it for years in the UK police but the problems still persist and in some cases have gotten worse, there's a complete distrust of police here, historically it's warrented but ultimately it doesn't help us. The answer is education, that's what I've seen make a massive difference. When we've had good, strong, positive role models come and speak to the kids, that's when you see them taking in valuable information. Teaching about financial literacy, history, society etc these are the things that will make positive change for the long term. Personally I want to teach about financial literacy and running a business. I did a course like this for a youth organisation I worked for and I felt that it planted some seeds, but working on on one with people and sharing knowledge is the way forward. A positive saying I've heard I think from the nation of Islam in regard to the black community is 'each one teach one', and I think that's what will make significant differences.
  5. This is the thing, its not about just some leader saying do this or that. Each person needs to take responsibility and do what they can if they're in a position to do so. All the people I know that help, aren't doing it because a 'leader' told them to. If you're just a positive role model in the community that can be helpful alone.
  6. If you're born with no arms you can't catch a ball with your hand
  7. @Preety_India I think you probably mean well but when I see the words black on black crime it actually makes me groan. Its nearly always used as used in a way to blame black people for crime as if its something inherent in them and as if crime is not a problem in other communities. It comes down to two conclusions, one is that, it's socio-economic factors brought on from slavery and the resulting discrimination (Black schools are heavily under funded on average in America for example) two, which is the underlying message of most racists, is that black people are inherently bad and more likely to commit crime. Now taking a racists perspective it might seem like its the second because they're just looking at the top level, but everything is built on a foundation and unfortunately black peoples foundation has been heavily corrupted which has affected the culture, morals, propensity for crime, negative environment etc. If you look at the micro, for example a child being abused, that child might develop a mindset that protects them from the trauma, they might even become an abuser themselves, this is what happens when their development has been corrupted. Now what most 'positive' black people preach is self responsibility and this is definitely true and is the only way out, as we can't just wait for Mr White man to change society for us. However, in a lot of cases the trauma has not been addressed and has not been transcended, using the child abuse example it's like saying if a child is still heavily traumatised they should just start taking responsibility, well no they probably won't be able to if they are not even aware of the problem. So it's gonna take a long while, there are no easy fixes and it doesn't help that there's constant judgement from those that don't have these collective traumas. Any good therapist will say 'it's not your fault but it is your responsibility' and that's true of the black community, there's a lot of work to be done but it's gonna have to be done by the black community and a lot of it is being done by them, I know a load of people that work in that field, they're not highlighted nearly as much as the criminal elements, they're not even mentioned as much as protesters.
  8. I dont think anyone is saying looks arent a factor for women, i think what theyre saying is looks are more important for men in terms of attraction. Women usually have a longer list of criteria which usually includes physical appearance, whereas for men some can make the selection purely on looks and maybe more conscious or mature men want looks but also have more criteria which theyll need in addition to looks. This of course is for long term relationships, for casual stuff the criteria is obviously much lower on both sides.
  9. Lol I'm not really up on the recent shananigans, but she is pretty outspoken so I'm not surprised. But you know what I mean, a high value guy valued her as a high value woman which is why she's even able to be an outspoken celebrity. He was right as she's brought a massive amount of value to him as well. She also kept on top of her looks (I'm not a fan of plastic surgery but still), kept in good shape etc. A hot but low value woman would just get the ring and not put in more effort.
  10. I think this is a bit off. If you say high value girl that means that that's someone every guy including high value guys would want, not just to have sex but want to marry them or have a long term relationship with. That's specifically what makes them high value, otherwise there's plenty of girls that guys would have sex with and not see again or see again but just for sex, that bars pretty low. So hot yes, but dumb and bitchy, no. If I'm a high value man, why would I choose hot, dumb and bitchy when I could choose hot, co-operative and caring? This plays out in real life as well, if you look at most famous High value guys, they often marry someone who's hot but it's very rare that that woman will be dumb or bitchy model type. It can happen but usually those relationships don't last. In fact a lot of high value guys will sacrifice a little on the beauty side to get someone who can really look after the house, kids and maybe help with their business stuff. Look at rock stars like ozzy Osborne, I'm sure he fucked a ton of models but when it came down to it he married Sharon, he was even a bit chubby at the time and he was at his peak. Why? Because she had a higher value than just her looks in terms of survival. So being hot, dumb and bitchy is not good for survival because, evolution wise the woman has to secure the man with the most resources, having those attributes will not secure a high value man.
  11. I got the vaccine last week, it was over in seconds, my arm hurt a little after but was fine the next day. When I got it I thought, 'this is nothing, its crazy how worked up people have got about this'. In the wider context you could easily just take this and move on with your life, how much mental anguish are people putting themselves through trying by worrying about this vaccine? Yes you should always be aware of what you put in your body, but some of these same people researching every ingredient in the vaccine have probably snorted some coke without a second thought or eaten fast food from a van. I'm just saying do your research and let it go, the amount cortisol being used btly stressing yourself out is probably worse than the vaccine
  12. I love this discussion cos its rooting out a lot of things we all probably havent thought about before. Ive had similar experiences whilst at uni where majority black and asian people would hang out with each other and majority white people would hang out, one thing i noticed though is that it wasnt necessarily along racial lines, it would more likely be what kind of culture you grew up in, so it was very normal for a white person from the 'hood' to hang out with black people or a black person from the suburbs to hang out with white people. So it wasnt a case of we dont want you in our group because of your race, although im not sure if class is any better. The question of is it racist to have a dating preference is very tough especially when you extend it to friends or work mates. It seems to be allowed to say when it comes to dating but pretty racist for the others, so i guess the question is, is it all racist or is it just not racist to say you only want a certain race of friends? Why has society come down so hard on saying you only want white friends but then allowed it to be acceptable to say you only date white partners ?
  13. Yes, maybe racist isnt the word id use but definitely a lot of bias against black women from a percentage of black men in terms of dating preference. The root is obviously the european beauty standards that have been the norm in the western world, it makes sense that the type of people who rule would promote their own people as the most beautiful. This subtle and previously not so subtle conditioning can have a massive effect on people. So much so that a lot of black and south asian women bleach their skin, in fact the global skin lightening market is worth more than $8.3 billion. So you could even make the argument that black women have bias against black women, colourism within the black community is also a thing. So its a very deep topic that is ingrained in the minds of everyone pretty much.
  14. I think it would be impossible to grow up, pretty much in any country, and not have some kind of bias, simply because you were taught by media, parents, friends, peers, school and all of those groups would have bias' especially if its not a very diverse area that you grew up in. These bias' are almost needed for social cohesion and to create an in group, the issue is that we are becoming more unified and globalised so these, once useful ideologies are now becoming more of a hinderance to progress than anything. Yeah this can happen, the reason i see is that when it comes to racism, most people dont class themselves as racist but they see the racism in others. Really i think the solution is looking at where you are racist and understanding that others may have that within them as well, so instead of demonising them, root it out in yourself. If everyone did this there wouldnt be racism, shaming people out of racism may have its uses but i dont think its the best way to approach it.