7thLetter

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  1. So I've only gotten halfway through Leo's recent upload, "Life Is A Dream" video and I've came up with several questions. If anyone is kind enough to answer them and help me along with other readers understand this topic, would be very much appreciated. How did Leo come up with this insight? I mean I'm sure it must've been through psychedelics or an enlightenment experience. Why does he seem so confident in his belief that life is a dream? He talks about the materialist paradigm, but wouldn't he be speaking from another paradigm himself which possibly may or may not be the absolute truth? Isn't it just another 'belief'? If God is dreaming an infinite number of 'dreams' like my life and Leo's life and a dog's life and the tree's life, why could God 'wake up' from the dream in one human's life, but God doesn't wake up from the dream in every other dream? If let's say only 1-2% of people have waken up from the dream, does that mean God has only partially woken up from the infinite dream? If we could come to the conclusion that life is just a dream, wouldn't the fact that we can come up with that idea also be apart of the dream? Everything in the dream must be apart of the dream and not separate from it right? So that includes all ideas and thoughts meaning enlightenment, spirituality, non-duality, God, etc. is all apart of the dream. Any absolute truth that a human can come up with is just apart of the dream and not truth?
  2. @Leo Gura So are we all experiencing the same "dream" and interacting within' the same dream? What if the fact that we call this a dream is part of the dream too? Since thoughts and ideas are a part of the dream itself?
  3. Definitely could relate to this post. I'm 22, started doing all this personal development stuff and started dropping most of my friends around 19-21. It didn't happen all at once but it all happened sub-consciously. Started seeing the negativity in them, and I felt that they were bringing me down in a way. But I definitely built some kind of ego around all that. I started to think that I was 'conscious' and that everyone else was ignorant. I think that it also created this standoffish behavior in me and I would just sabotage all the relationships that I had. Even with my mom. I went into full hermit mode had basically no one anymore in my life and I fell into depression. I even stopped doing my personal development. All I did was play video games and it kind of felt like it was all supposed to be this way as a result of hardcore personal development, falling into hermit mode. But now its all getting better again for me. I was out of a job for 3 months during my depression phase, had no human interaction other than my family. Started to interact more with my family again, and depression got a bit better. Then finally got a job and now I'm starting to socialize a lot more at work and my happiness levels are better than ever. Starting to realize that relationships are important in someone's life and its not just all about hardcore personal development. I mean, I do believe that there is a point that we can get to in our personal development journey where you are 100% independent but in the early stages I would say no. It's all about being able to balance the two and its not about one side of the spectrum.
  4. @Hardkill I think it depends on a lot of things. There's no perfect pickup line that works 100% of the time to get you all the hot girls, or say this or that to make friends. There's a lot to take into consideration, like your personality, your interests, your values, etc. And if the other person shares the same things in common, or finds it attractive. People like different things, people are attracted to different things. Whatever a pickup coach or dating coach tells you, is just a generalization of what girls like. But they can't tell you exactly that Suzie Johnson over here likes dominant guys with a mole on their face and the way they walk, and what she likes in the way a guy dresses. I met this one guy while doing pickup, and he thinks that pickup doesn't work just because one time he met a random girl while travelling and she didn't like him. That really bothered me because he tried ONCE, she doesn't like him for several possible reasons, and now he says that pickup doesn't work. So really there soooo much to take into consideration. People like different things, people are attracted to different skin colors, people like different smells, people like different hair styles, you get the point. You can't impress everybody. You will attract those who align with your values, your interests, the vibe you put off, your personality, the way you dress, the way you talk, etc. etc. etc. If you want the raw truth, the truth is to go out and practice. Practice makes perfect. You can’t read a book on how to ride a bike and expect to ride the bike perfectly for the first time trying. Go out to social meetings, socialize at your workplace, try cold approach. From my personal experience cold approach was the best for me to meet people and increase my confidence and social skills. I’ve approached over 500 girls within a span of a year. Got around 40+ numbers. Couple dates. I didn’t read a book on how to do it, I just did it. Start small, say hi to random people, hi-five people, embarrass yourself in public, then work your way up.
  5. No Fap, good experiment to try. I lasted 2 weeks, so not much I can say but any addiction is good to get rid of. Cold showers for me personally lead to the opposite of what I was looking for. I took cold showers every single day for maybe 3 months+ without stopping. Started off at 10 seconds a day, then worked my way up to 30 seconds a day. Reached 1 minute a day then back to 30 seconds a day. Maybe it has helped at first but for me it became a habit that I constantly told myself that I hated doing but I did it anyway because I thought it would help. I found myself grumpy half the time at work. So my advice to you is to try it out for yourself, maybe you’ll have a different experience, and learn to love taking those cold showers. Try not to dread it.
  6. @Leo Gura I just tend to think very deeply and overanalyze things, and this just happens to be one of those questions that has crossed my mind. Just thought it would be interesting to see it this way but it sounds like you framed it in an even more sillier way than it actually is. It sounds nothing like that. Also no one really has agreed or disagreed yet, maybe it is closed-mindedness? Maybe its not. We often talk and think about how dysfunctional people are closed-minded to different ideas, but we never talk about the actualizers closing their mind off to the things that non-actualizers do. Anyways, I’m just a man questioning my thoughts and life. Maybe this is just one of those questions that is needed for me to get to the next level. Because the ideal is to work yourself out of the closed-mindedness right? You talked about how we often move from one paradigm to the next, and we’re always stuck in the next paradigm. I see my questioning as trying to be aware of the paradigms that I lock myself into. And I guess what we’re looking for is to be more of an observer of everything out there, and not to hold any one paradigm. And there we go, “non-duality” is the answer I was looking for. @Faceless Don’t have a lot to say about your post but thank you for your insight
  7. @YaNanNallari @Mighty Mouse I agree you can definitely get to that point in some point in your journey but maybe it actually is closed-mindedness in the beginning stages. Especially if it was only a beginner who looks into more basic forms of personal development, and transitioning into a positive thinking paradigm. Might’ve answered my own question here with a combination of all of our answers, but okay thanks, its all starting to come together for me.
  8. Going to try and keep it short, but would you agree that positive growth is just closing your mind off to negativity? Like Leo mentions, we're all living in a world of perspectives. Everyone is living in their own paradigm with their own web of beliefs, thought patterns, etc. And once you get out of the negative thinking paradigm into a more growth-oriented positive paradigm, it seems to me like its just closed-mindedness towards negativity. You don't want to hang out with negative people anymore, you don't watch the news, you don't eat junk food, etc. And sometimes I think of it the other way around as well. Negative people are closed-minded to positivity. But I'm starting to just think that there is no absolute right way to live life. It seems to be more of "Positivity is the best paradigm, strive towards it." And I think we can all agree that people in a certain paradigm will always favor the paradigm that they are currently living in. Is there a point that we need to strive towards where we are free of any paradigm and be completely open-minded to everything? Or is it to maintain the positive growth paradigm because it has the most benefits?
  9. So I always was a quiet loner kid throughout elementary and highschool, and that has always been something that I've wanted to change about myself. I thought it was because of social anxiety, so I discovered psychology, and personal development. After looking more and more into this stuff, I found out that it was just an introverted personality of mine. But still, I wanted to become more social so that I could get the confidence to be able to talk to girls. I then got into customer service jobs dealing with customers, MLM, and I also did pickup for about a year. When I was doing pickup, it felt like my overall confidence was at an all time high, but there were sacrifices that I had to make when it came to pickup. Sure I had the confidence but it felt like I was dying on the inside psychologically because of the narcissistic behavior that I had little to no control of. I then cut back on the pickup, and started working at a huge restaurant which was a very social environment. At first, I was very very social working there, made a ton of friends during the first few months. My level of happiness was pretty high I would say, and I was able to socialize with the girls that I was interested in with no problem whatsoever. Later on down the road, after a year of working there, it started to feel like I was getting depressed. I stopped talking to the friends that I made there, especially the girls that I was into. And my life just felt like a huge mess. I was being scheduled 6-7 times a week, working 8+ hours a day, and the girl that I really liked had a boyfriend. Constantly every single day people would give me a bad reaction because of the way that I was acting. I was being all quiet and grumpy, and they seemed to take that personally. The more it happened with all these people, it kind of felt like it just adds onto the depression. Another thing I want to add was that I had a habit of taking cold showers. I thought it was helping with my self-improvement, but for me personally I'll say that it constantly put me into a bad mood. Because I hated taking cold showers. It was kind of like I knew it was a good habit to put into place, but I would always tell myself that I hate it. Anyways, I quit the job, then I fought this depression for 3 months. It felt like I was going through some life-crisis. All I would do is stay at home for the entire day and play video games. I had no motivation at all for self-improvement no matter how hard I tried. I still went to the gym daily but I didn't try as hard as I usually do. So now that I'm out of the depression phase, I got another restaurant job with the same company but the restaurant is a lot slower and a lot smaller. I made a good first impression during the interview, but working there, people know my personality sucks. I have a desire to be social and make friends but I'm not as social as I should be. I feel more shy and often hesitant about striking up a conversation with most people. People want to talk to me, but I really feel like I lost my social skills. The social skills I have now are pretty basic compared to what I used to have when I was doing pickup. I get a couple people reacting in a bad way towards me because of the way I act. If I were to make an assumption, I would say they think I'm stuck up. At this point, I'd say that I'm probably not going to be able to keep this job after 3 weeks now. Probably going to have a chat with my managers to see where I'm at and talk about my struggles so far. This makes me not want to work a job because you always have to deal with people and their emotions, and insecurities, and assumptions. And also its often this game of trying to impress the higher-ups. ANYWAYS, I apologize for the life story but would you agree that the video games and staying indoors everyday ruined my personality? Is there any advice that anyone can give me? I could go back to pickup to get back my social skills but that's just not something that I want to get back into.
  10. Canada is pretty close to the US
  11. Hey guys, I always thought of doing something like this on the forums, but to be honest, I have been putting it off due to video games and other things that I have been distracted by. This journal is kind of just here to write about the deep insights that I have, the struggles that I go through, my past, and just about my daily life in general even if no one reads it. Alright so first off I'll start off with an introduction of who I am and how I got into self-actualization. So I'm currently someone who has been working in the restaurant industry for a while now since I was 16, I'm 22 now. Started my first job in the kitchen as a dishwasher, worked my way up the ladder working every single kitchen position then I eventually moved up to the front of the house. I also like to consider myself entrepreneurially minded so I've been testing out different things in order to find what I'm passionate about. I've tried MLM, affiliate marketing, dropshipping, youtube, flipping cell-phones, and now I'm currently trading/investing into cryptocurrencies because I find it very interesting. Still new to it all so haven't been able to make the money that I was looking to make. I'm often in the gym a lot, but currently taking a week off because I injuried my shoulder doing a shoulder press. I've also read that its a pretty good idea to take a break every once in a while. Other than all that I'm often at home on the computer, researching many different things like Leo's content. The internet is so fascinating because its like a place with an infinite amount of knowledge and possibilities. Now I'll go on about how I got into self-actualization. At first I didn't know what self-actualization was before I found Leo's content. I always thought of it as self-improvement or psychology. In elementary and highschool, I was always this quiet kid. I would hang out alone most of the time during lunch break, even when I had a group of friends I just never hung out with them during lunch. I absolutely hated lunch break. My lunch breaks were often me trying to find some stupid way to stall time and hide from everybody else. When I tried to hang out with other people it just wouldn't work out well cause I wouldn't say anything. I also was working at my restaurant job during highschool. Had several crushes on the servers and several crushes at highschool as well. Crushes on girls that I never even got to know. I guess I had a crush on them due to my neediness and because of the way they looked. I really wanted to get to know them and talk to them, but I was always so shy and never talkative. And that is when I began to look into self-improvement. Back then I got into whatever I can to be able to help me with my shyness. I bought a couple books, I found this theory online called EFT tapping where you would tap certain areas on your body and make an affirmation. Actually got into some visualization exercises back then that I found online that were similiar to a meditation exercise that I would do these days. And of course I downloaded a ton of audios that would help me with my shyness and changing my negative thinking patterns and I would say that these helped a lot. I had to download weeks of these long audio files and listen to them all the time during lunch break and any free time that I had. It was a very interesting program because it had exercises on replacing thoughts that someone might have and several affirimation techniques to put into place. But then I started to realize that the theory wasn't enough. Although all of it helped with changing my thoughts, I still wasn't able to be as social as I wanted to be. I still found myself as this really quiet guy and I wanted to change it. And then I moved to the front of the house of the restaurant. Went from a line cook to a host seating and interacting with guests. I was really enjoying the job, because I found myself becoming a bit more social and confident. This is also when I started to get into partying. I'm a huge introvert, but for some reason I really enjoyed parties. I'm not Mr. Popular but I had that one friend from elementary school who introduced me to other people who party a lot. We would party almost every weekend. House parties, hotel parties, mansion parties, hall parties, whatever it is we were always trying to find the next party every weekend. One thing I liked about it was the confidence that the alcohol gives you. It was really easy for me to hook up with a girl. I mean I didn't get laid but it was close with several girls and we just made out in a bed. Ended up going on one date with one of the girls that I met. This was the first date that I ever went on in my life at 18 years old, and it just didn't go well probably because I wasn't that interesting. Then one day at work, I sat down a familiar face from highschool. He recognized me from somewhere and I recoginized him from school. We chatted then he invited me to an event saturday morning. Not sure what it was but I had to wear a suit. Yeah, it was an MLM meeting. He was a speaker at the event and I thought this was an amazing opportunity. Was skeptical at first though after talking to a couple of the people I know about it. But then I got involved. Worked my best at it, spending tons of money going to these events, it was a grind, it was fun, met a lot of people, and developed myself a whole lot. This is when I started to get more involved with personal development. Started meditating, reading books on how to make money, watching videos, etc. After going through my entire facebook friends list, I didn't know who else I could recruit. So I got into this thing we called "Cold Marketing." Where you would cold-approach a prospect and invite him/her to a meeting. At first I wasn't the best at it, hesitated a lot, but with consistency, I got really comfortable with it to a point where I would approach without hesistation and the way I approached them made it seem like I knew them beforehand. So I started a small 'cold approach' group within the MLM team we had, and we would approach every day. We had goals for the day, and it just felt like my confidence was at an all time high. Then the group we had eventually died out, and eventually I started to get bored of the MLM life. Still went to the meetings, but I looked into other things on the side. I found out about pickup, watched a lot of SimplePickup on youtube where guys would cold-approach women and get their number. And I found about RSD as well on youtube. Also found out that there was an RSD member coming to my area to do a seminar. So I attended, knew no one, but out of nowhere I actually bumped into someone I knew from the MLM company that I was involved with. He was out of the MLM company then but was really excited to see him there. After the meeting was over, we exchanged contact info, and we started to do pickup challenges together. Did pickup for a year, the theory really got to me and didn't do as well as I wanted to. Gained a lot of confidence but it felt like doing pickup isn't the best for me psychologically. Especially with the people that you constantly surround yourself with, its all just pure ego. Others judging others, insecurity, manipulation, etc. And once I got out of pickup, I still had my confidence, but it felt like I had a TON more demons inside of me that I had to deal with. I felt like a complete narcissist. I was aware of it, but it just felt like I wasn't able to control it. It kind of would just happen. Working at a job would help me become aware of it. Since I'm interacting with so many people, I would notice myself saying or doing things that would make them react in a way that hates who I am. And I don't like when that happens so it gets me to try and change myself. I started to meditate more and become aware of who I am. Then I got rid of my narcissistic behaviour. Days gone by, working at a new restaurant, new environment. Been here for a year and wasn't liking it. It was the busiest restaurant in my city and it felt like I was stressed out every day. I would be scheduled 6+ shifts a week and each shift would be 8+ hours with a little 15 minute break. I also had another girl I had a huge crush on who had a boyfriend. She seems like she was into me as well but who knows. The boyfriend part just ruined me. Working here was hell the last few days. Felt like I was falling into depression and I had to give up the job. This was when it felt like I was going through a quarter-life crisis. I left the job, constantly thinking about this crush that I had and stayed at home all day playing video games. For a whole month that was my life. Fortunately enough I was still consistent with the gym but wasn't going at it as hard. But this phase in my life, I was always thinking, would I ever get out of it? Going to end it off here because I gotta sleep. Will update next time.
  12. @aurum Thanks I appreciate the post, glad that I found the answer to my post, which is to lead by example. And yeah haha it can get frustrating with all the newbies with approach anxiety struggling to get their first approach so it gets to a point where we start to talk some sense into them. But I'm gaming tomorrow for the first time in a year, wonder how that will go.
  13. @Toby I did not say I judged them, its more like I'm trying to push them out of their comfort zone. But sure maybe it appears as if I'm judging them from their point of view. And in my opinion yes that is a normal reaction of the ego, but healthy? I would say that is linked to neurosis. Correct me if I'm wrong but developed people don't care what others think so they would brush it off. Plus they are too in control of their emotions to be annoyed. Calling it normal is like saying going to school and working a job for the rest of your life is 'normal' because the majority of people do it. But is that healthy? No because people hate their jobs and often get depressed. The better solution to that is to make your own money through a business or your life purpose like Leo often mentions.
  14. Cool, came to this section of the forums to see if anyone posted anything about Crypto and came across this post. Crypto has become something I have been involved with for 3-4 months now, the market is extremely volatile so my portfolio has seen some great days, but bad days as well so its like "wow I made so much money with my portfolio up this much!" But you don't make money until you sell. Same thing applies with your porfolio being down in the red, you don't lose money unless you sell. I've bought 100 NEO at $8 which was antshares at the time, and it blew up to $50! Great day right? I was telling all my friends I made $5k in crypto, but I was too optimistic about it thinking it would keep going up to $400 like Ethereum did, so I kept holding and now it entered a downtrend. But I am still holding, hopefully it will reach new highs by the end of the year. So yes there's a lot of volatility in this market and right now I am learning my technicals and learning how to get in and out at the right times. Let's keep this post going
  15. This has been a question that I have always been curious of, because I often find myself trying to change people in my life. Even though, I probably shouldn't be doing that. But I do anyway, and it's because I'm over here growing myself, reaching higher levels of development while the people in my life aren't doing the same and that leaves them at the same level of development, and leaving them as the same person they were a year ago. I'm just someone who wants friends who are at the same or higher levels of development as me so I end up trying to change my friends. The approach that I've been using if I intentionally want to change someone is that I try to smack them over the head with it. I tell them to watch this video, or that video, do this do that, and point out their flaws, but then they end up becoming all defensive. They start justifying, they laugh, they get defensive and come at me with a comeback, etc. This happens even though I'm not judging them, all I'm trying to do is push them and help them out. And with doing this, this ends up appearing like I'm pushing them away in my life, to a point where we aren't even friends anymore. But I might be answering my own question here, I find that its probably more effective if you just socialize with them about this personal-development material instead of hitting them over the head with it. There's a saying that you become the 5 people you surround yourself with. And I believe that is true and it happens sub-consciously. You start dressing like them, talking like them, walking like them, etc. So the first approach I listed, is probably something that I do when I get the feeling that they aren't growing as fast, and that's my short-term thinking saying "Hey, he's not growing fast enough! Grow faster!" And the second approach is with no intention of changing them, and would be a longer-term approach to helping them change. Funny how I'm realizing all of this as I'm writing this post. If anyone has anything else to add that would be very much appreciated.