Is this the evolution of polyamory? Aubrey Marcus podcast)

[koops]

 

We all know the problems with monogamy.

So one of the 'solutions' this past decade was to go in overreaction into polyamory; but that is still trying to solve the problem at the same level of consciousness.

In this podcast the talk about a different paradigm.

 

They talk about holons.

How to solve a problem (relationships) form a higher level that the one it was created.

How to integrate and transcend.

Integrity vs deception. Honesty vs shame.

 

Whats your view on the evolution of monogamy especially for higher consciousness people?

 

 

 

[Salvijus]

Celibate polygamy is probably the highest. 

Edited May 19 by Salvijus

[Eskilon]

Polygamy would only be cool if the earth was filled with high consciousness people. Like a very advanced alien society.

In this way you could engange with them and learn a ton with every interaction.

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

There is no such thing as evolution. LMAO you either accept monogamy with all of it's upsides and downsides, or you'll live out an unstable and lonely rest of your life. Realistically speaking

[Emerald]

I watched the first few minutes of the video, so I didn't get the full context.

They are framing it like it's some new *higher consciousness* relationship thing. But it seems like something that's been done a million times before with other explanations applied to it.

But isn't that just describing a throuple?

Or perhaps an open relationship where they occasionally bring the other woman in?

[Schizophonia]

In fact, this generates a lot of jealousy among most people, even those who are at the forefront of the phenomenon.

[Jannes]

@koops Could you summarize the key points please?

[Jannes]

Most humans arent capable of unconditional love so there will be lots of jealousy in polyamorous relationships. However this can be talked about. If one partner has a romantic or sexual partner more then the other and that person becomes jealous because of it they can talk about it and arrange that this person also gets a partner more for example. Or it can be arranged that they have a period of closing the relationship for a while and so on. Basically its about full on accepting that you will become jealous and will experience all the nasty human sides and commiting to work through it with tons and tons of talk about how they feel otherwise it will break.

And what I heard people get used to it. Its not like they arent jealous anymore but they accept the jealousy so much that it doenst bother them anymore. Like when you accept suffering it takes most of the suffering away.

I was never in an open relationship but I helped an ex f+ work through emotions and fear after having a one night stand. It was so painful and so incredibly open, alive and loving at the same time. Honestly I havent reached the same level of happiness that I experienced that day for about a year now. I value honesty and authenticity deeply so that may play into it.

Edited May 19 by Jannes

[koops]

4 hours ago, Eskilon said:

Polygamy would only be cool if the earth was filled with high consciousness people. Like a very advanced alien society.

In this way you could engange with them and learn a ton with every interaction.

Exactly.

But there is always a beginning for everything.

 

[koops]

4 hours ago, NewKidOnTheBlock said:

There is no such thing as evolution. LMAO you either accept monogamy with all of it's upsides and downsides, or you'll live out an unstable and lonely rest of your life. Realistically speaking

There is an evolution in relationships. From monogamy to serial monogamy, which is not the same. 

But yeah, based on how things are nowadays seems like monogamy is the better choice for 99% of people (which they agree on the podcast).
 

[koops]

56 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I watched the first few minutes of the video, so I didn't get the full context.

They are framing it like it's some new *higher consciousness* relationship thing. But it seems like something that's been done a million times before with other explanations applied to it.

But isn't that just describing a throuple?

Or perhaps an open relationship where they occasionally bring the other woman in?

I think most people that go into polyamory they do it just because they just want more sex, and they got bored with their partner.

In the case I mention I feel there are way deeper reasons than that. Sex is still a part of it, but not the main thing.

 

 

[koops]

53 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

In fact, this generates a lot of jealousy among most people, even those who are at the forefront of the phenomenon.

Yes. Jealousy is likely to happen.

I think jealousy is the emotion that if managed, will propel the human race forward the most. Until that happens, love will be restricted, and fear based.

[koops]

26 minutes ago, Jannes said:

Most humans arent capable of unconditional love so there will be lots of jealousy in polyamorous relationships. However this can be talked about. If one partner has a romantic or sexual partner more then the other and that person becomes jealous because of it they can talk about it and arrange that this person also gets a partner more for example. Or it can be arranged that they have a period of closing the relationship for a while and so on. Basically its about full on accepting that you will become jealous and will experience all the nasty human sides and commiting to work through it with tons and tons of talk about how they feel otherwise it will break.

And what I heard people get used to it. Its not like they arent jealous anymore but they accept the jealousy so much that it doenst bother them anymore. Like when you accept suffering it takes most of the suffering away.

I was never in an open relationship but I helped an ex f+ work through emotions and fear after having a one night stand. It was so painful and so incredibly open, alive and loving at the same time. Honestly I havent reached the same level of happiness that I experienced that day for about a year now. I value honesty and authenticity deeply so that may play into it.

Yeah. I feel most people settle for monogamy because is the least amount of work.

But there goes the lying, cheating, withholding, loss of love, (subtle) manipulation.

For people that value integrity, honesty and love, monogamy can work, but still... the limitations are huge, especially if you have high libido.

 

[Jannes]

25 minutes ago, koops said:

Yeah. I feel most people settle for monogamy because is the least amount of work.

But there goes the lying, cheating, withholding, loss of love, (subtle) manipulation.

For people that value integrity, honesty and love, monogamy can work, but still... the limitations are huge, especially if you have high libido.

 

If you dont value integrity, honesty and love polyamory cant work at all! It requires constant mature communication. I talk positively about it because I havent yet tried it really and would like to but there can be lots of problems: power imbalances, emotional dependency, conflict-avoidance...

Bottom line, if you are mature everything can work, if you arent nothing will work. I think its a good parallel to Leos take that conservatism is the status quo because people are just too corrupt to make anything else work. Polyamory in this sense is more liberal and requires a lot more integrity to make it work.

My libido isnt that high - thank god!

Edited May 19 by Jannes

[aurum]

They're basically describing ethical non-monogamy, which has been around.

And they are getting dragged in the comments too.

It looks like Vylana may be telling herself some comforting stories to keep their marriage together.

[Emerald]

6 minutes ago, aurum said:

They're basically describing ethical non-monogamy, which has been around.

And they are getting dragged in the comments too.

It looks like Vylana may be telling herself some comforting stories to keep their marriage together.

Yeah, that's what I got the sense of too.

[koops]

3 minutes ago, aurum said:

They're basically describing ethical non-monogamy, which has been around.

And they are getting dragged in the comments too.

It looks like Vylana may be telling herself some comforting stories to keep their marriage together.

Yes, I saw a few videos of her, and I thought 'wow what a powerful woman'

But in this video, I felt the wounded inner child. 

Which makes me think. Even high consciousness people with a lot of work on themselves struggle with this.

[aurum]

2 minutes ago, koops said:

But in this video, I felt the wounded inner child. 

It's probably more so that they have kids and a life together she appreciates.

I'd lie to myself too.

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

1 hour ago, koops said:

There is an evolution in relationships. From monogamy to serial monogamy, which is not the same. 

Devolution is a better term for it, I believe. Serial monogamy is just a fancy way of saying hook ups

1 hour ago, koops said:

But yeah, based on how things are nowadays seems like monogamy is the better choice for 99% of people (which they agree on the podcast).

Not sure what's best for 99% of people, as that's impossible to know. Some people shouldn't get near other people and maybe should be quaranteed LOL, never mind get into relationships. All I'm saying is that real monogamy (like, you get into relationship and you actually do your absolute best to stay there) is the only relationship system that really has the potential to work. For raising children, optimal division of labour, optimal focus of your mental, emotional and sexual energy, long term strategy against loneliness etc. Other options are just illusions

 

Edited May 19 by NewKidOnTheBlock

[koops]

So here is a great explanation