Illusory Self

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About Illusory Self

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  • Birthday 04/26/1996

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    London
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    Male

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  1. Day 5 Approached 10 girls & asked them for the time I increased the ante today by approaching 5 more, unfortunately 2 did not respond to me as they were in there own world with there earphones plugged in. Made me realize I need to do something more drastic to get the attention. I did feel quite bad at the beginning like I am worthless but after a while, I just thought it was not that big of a deal. I go on with my day. Seemed to only take around 20 minutes tops which was not to long. I was waiting to find a girl that would bring me tension instead of approaching anyone. I was practicing on feeling inwards during the interaction. Being grounded.
  2. Day 4 - yesterday Approached 5 girls & asked them for the time I felt today was a success. I did it on a street after I finished my workout at the time. It did take some time as there were not many girls around. Will record a video later to have some kind of video journal.
  3. I am undertaking the Goodlookingloser AA challenge. It involves progressive desensitization every single day when talking to girls & will take 7 weeks in total. I currently am on day 5. I need to get better with women so I feel like journaling it on here will be a good idea. I was originally going to journal on onenote but maybe this will inspire some of you & is a sense of some accountability. First three days was mainly just setting up a journal, signing up to online dating ect..
  4. @Someone here Check out goodlookingloser AA challenge, I am currently doing that. I would personally slowly ramp up the tension, I am currently just starting by asking the time & walking away. Each day gets progressively harder though. Consistency is crucial with this. Keep a tension journal & feel it inside the body when you go for the approach. Ground yourself in the tension. Become comfortable with being uncomfortable. I am rubbish at dating/socialization but I know the only way to get better is to do it on a consistent basis. It is very easy to fall into the victim mentality with this kind of stuff. Audit your thoughts throughout the day when you don't approach. I try to become much more aware of my negative, victimhood mentality during the day. It's helpful to have a journal and whenever you think of something negative, just reframe the thought to a positive one.
  5. Day 3 - 24/04/2022 1. After I make my bed in the morning I will meditate for 5 minutes ✅ 'Meditated for 20 minutes as I was feeling more motivated' 2. After I put my head on the pillow at night I will read for 5 minutes ✅ 3. After I brush my teeth at night I will floss one tooth ✅ 4. After I get out of bed in the morning, I will say "it's going to be a great day" ✅
  6. @BipolarGrowth would love to but I suffer with constant bad pain in my foot when I am standing up for long periods of time
  7. @aurum I have heard of it, never done it though. May have to try it in the future
  8. @Gabith @The Mystical Man @EugeneTheSage @zurew @hyruga Great! Thanks, I wrote most of them down which I have not seen
  9. @Kshantivadin It is a great book, what habits are you going to be doing?
  10. Day 2 - 23/04/2022 1. After I make my bed in the morning I will meditate for 5 minutes ✅ 'Meditated for 30 minutes as I was feeling more motivated' 2. After I put my head on the pillow at night I will read for 5 minutes ✅ 3. After I brush my teeth at night I will floss one tooth ✅ 4. After I hear my alarm in the morning, I will get up without hitting snooze ✅ 'Got up far before my alarm even rang'
  11. @Ulax Great, thanks for that. I may have to try this for reading now!
  12. I have been thinking really hard lately on what I naturally enjoy to do. I feel like my childhood has given me clues, my parents always used to tell me when I was younger that I am a great actor & should do acting classes, I have been experimenting today with just trying to cause different scenarios in reality to what I am used to. I feel a natural gravitation towards acting & especially comedy, but unfortunately it is covered up loads of layers of social anxiety + filters but I notice when I get into the enjoyable state of just not going into other peoples reality & staying in my own. I feel a sense of enjoyment when I am trying to make others laugh & troll in a funny way. Seeing others smile feels rather fulfilling. I notice when I am stuck in my head a lot & socially isolating from society because of my bad social anxiety with people and not being my usual troll funny self, I feel depressed, tired, lonely, sad. I am currently 26 & have spent the last 10 or so years mainly playing computer games + withdrawing from my society. To the point where my ego mind just wants to by itself & super fearful of authentically expressing myself in front of others. I feel a lot happier today when I was actually not isolating & talking to my family just saying stuff with no filters whatsoever. It makes me feel more free. A lot of the times I feel very constricted with my own vocubalry, like how I should act etc but right now I am just typing without any mental filters. I feel the need to be 'perfect' a lot when communicating with others, even when journaling/texting. Could this be my zone of genius? I think I might start to take acting classes soon to see if I like it. There is now a few possibilities on what I can do with this: Start a comedy channel on youtube doing funny sketches Think of a funny series that is animated & can go on T.V Take acting classes & audition for other peoples T.V shows/movies Have my own comedy sketch series on T.V where I am a main actor/director A few concerns I have are, 1. How do I know what one to go down or what to choose? 2. Ideally I would like to spread a more positive message to raise consciousness of society, but ultimately I know I need to raise my own first 3. Is this not just low consciousness stuff, promoting T.V addiction? I feel like ultimately I am capable of more, but inner work is first required Interested to hear all your thoughts
  13. Thought I would create a thread for others to post what movies they have enjoyed the most. I am looking to watch more movies to have something to look forward to. I personally like movies that include sci-fi, good stories, educational, better understanding of ego development/spiral dynamics, higher consciousness, emotional, twists, comedies, I think some of the older ones can be the best Feel free to share your favourites though
  14. Day 1 - 22/04/2022 1. After I make my bed in the morning I will meditate for 5 minutes ✅ 2. After I put my head on the pillow at night I will read for 5 minutes ✅ 3. After I brush my teeth at night I will floss one tooth ✅ 4. After I hear my alarm in the morning, I will get up without hitting snooze ✅
  15. I am trying to think of some ideas on how to develop laser focused work ethic using the tiny habits method for behaviour change. My work ethic is currently non existent so this is an important part of my life I need to fix. I need to try to think of good prompts of behaviours that I do before the habit & something that is super tiny. An example is: After I finish tidying my desk (which is the prompt for new habit), I will set a 25 minute pomodoro timer. You just leave it at that at first. The idea behind it is if you do something super tiny, it makes it very easy to do & the motivation is less to do the activity. I am just having a hard time coming up with useful prompts or behaviours that I do in the day that will remind me to start this habit. The end goal is to be able to do 2.5 hrs of focused work without distractions on a specific task. I may try to use the pomodoro technique & see how it is. It feels so hard doing work when I am not used to doing it at all. So this new habit is something I must make tiny to start off with. Most of the time when I try habits that are to big for me to cope with, I end up falling back into old routines. I really want to try to change my identity & behaviours.