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About ZenSwift

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  1. I agree. Awakening is like forming a change with yourself. As you walk the path you become more and more conscious. I feel like there's certain thresholds that you can measure, or like check off the list. Like for example losing your head and not needing the middleman of the face or eyeballs to be able to perceive the room.
  2. https://youtube.com/shorts/EYEDD2l0YUw?feature=share
  3. Every night when I dream.
  4. I look forward to you articulating this
  5. Saving this to my Commonplace Book. What is the source of this information? @integral That Leo coomer wojak meme got me good. 😂
  6. @Leo Gura I can relate with your experiences a bit. I was coerced several times to do homosexual activity multiple times with different boys at different occasions at around age 10. The boys were close in age however. And it was the same thing, not super traumatizing. But my inability to set boundaries is what was going on, because I was uncomfortable during the experiences, but I didn't set any boundaries. Setting boundaries is something I have to consciously train now. Anyways, these instances happened so much so that I basically got imprinted with a gay fetish (while being straight, and identifying as such). This is actually more common than people think, but it's rarely talked about because of how taboo it is, and people don't know how to name it to tame it. It makes sense that it didn't impact your sexuality much because of you being past the age of imprinting (8-12 I believe) and it being one experience. Personally, for my case, at this point, I'm just identifying as Pansexual. But it gets confusing as fuck because I only get turned on by the feminine. The way I dealt with it was progressively fapping to progressively homosexual material that was drawn until my disgust was dissolved. Basically rewiring my brain. And then later mixing in looking at real life humans, desensitizimg myself further. But still, I'm not turned on in the same way gay people are, it's odd. Still will be working this out. An urge to try out intercourse with a male is still there, to try at least once, but there's fear there. So basically I'll have to see if I can enjoy some experiences in person and move on from there. Also, with deconstructing the duality of gender and dissolving self-constructs has made a massive shift as well in my sexual identity. Psychedelics has made an impact too, as you may remember from one of my trip reports.
  7. 🤣 Lmao
  8. @Hello from Russia thanks for the book suggestion. I love this kind of stuff. I really need to allow myself more time to absorb this content.
  9. @Emrie I can hook you up with a based EMDR therapist. She's a master. Lemme know in the DMs if you're interested. She knows some of Leo's ideas as well.
  10. Definetly would like to dip my toe in this
  11. I for sure thought about using psychedelics to jump start where I am right now as an easy quick reset. But I went against it as I felt it was more valuable to me to learn how to get my shit together completely sober by implementing strong habits of self care like working out and having consistent sleep schedule as well as good routine.
  12. Today I went for an interview to get a part time job serving my survival, while in the other hours I work on my life purpose full time. I really noticed that waking up early has been a core pillar in being productive, as well as using the Pomodoro Technique. I've been cold showering every day and for me it is great because it's a physical sensation that symbolizes me taking my life seriously. If I don't do it I know I'm not taking my life as seriously. I've done my Kettlebell exercises everyday for over 3 weeks now, I'm now moving up to 62lb kettlebell to exercise the simple and Sinister protocol by Pavel. My nutrition has been cleaner than ever, I'm just going to make some minor tweaks to it to make sure I'm getting proper levels of macronutrients as well as the micronutrients. I eat mostly raw plants. Today I'm also going to decide on what I want to contemplate deeply for several hours before I do a four gram mushroom trip on it. I found my best results with psychedelics is when I've done several hours of heavy lifting doing contemplation while sober beforehand.
  13. @Average Investor To me I intuit a Provoked Urine Test.