ZenSwift

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  1. Thanks for the read. 💖
  2. I suppose I will at some point share my massive Excel Document of Links to Documentaries. For Now I will share a list of channels and playlists that I have come across in this thread. Countries List: https://www.worldometers.info/geography/countries-of-the-world/#:~:text=Countries (following the U.N. definition,Dependencies and other territories Free Documentary: https://www.youtube.com/@FreeDocumentary/videos Geography Now: https://www.youtube.com/@GeographyNow Complete Country Playlist: https://youtu.be/ipVw772hCrM?list=PLR7XO54Pktt8_jNjAVaunw1EqqcEAdcow Playlist From Actualized Member: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLKm7OXaaugYBkh-7bpMXByjUd4eXVgUcc Indigo Traveller: https://www.youtube.com/@IndigoTraveller/videos Stop Over - Documentary, Discovery, History: https://www.youtube.com/@StopovertvHD/videos Slice: https://www.youtube.com/@SLICEDocumentary/videos DW Documentary: https://www.youtube.com/@DWDocumentary/videos Free High-Quality Documentaries: https://www.youtube.com/@FreeHighQualityDocumentaries/videos Geodiode: https://www.youtube.com/@Geodiode/videos
  3. I remember specifically one of his examples which was pointing out flattening our interpretation of language or something by putting up the words "fuck you". Which episode was this?
  4. @Butters Truffles are not nearly as potent as normal cubensis. Apparently after asking chatGPT... 10 grams of dried truffles, they might contain between 20 to 50 milligrams of psilocybin. 5 grams of dried Golden Teacher mushrooms could potentially contain 50 to 100 milligrams of psilocybin.
  5. Depends on your goals. If you just want to reach the highest states of consciousness possible, then 5meo is in order. If you want to be able to contemplate deeply for hours and hours, consider LSD or AL-LAD. If you want to work through a lot of fear, mushrooms are very cathartic and good for that. I hope your conscious of the difference of potency between regular cubensis and truffles. Personally at someone who has lots of experience with shrooms I highly recommend to First be able to handle at least 5 grams being able to purify as much fear as you can, because this whole entire journey is going to be full of fear and you need to learn how to understand fear and what to do when it gets too much. (go for an ego death) ( contemplate what is death, what is self or what is Ego)
  6. Most Important Notes are Coloured! 🍄 Mushroom Trip 025 - A Whiff of The Ox's Solipsistic Farts 🍄 In this trip report I got a small taste of The Cost of Awakening Mainly with the Solipsistic True Nature Reality. Guiding Questions: - What is Actuality? - What is Direct Experience? - What is Perception? - What is Consciousness? Consciousness IS nothing. Pure existence without content. - What is God? - What is Self? - What if I'm Not The Body? - What am I? (Existentially) - What is Direct Experience? October 25th 2023 Dose: 6.5g Golden Teachers Lemon Tek Tea Ground into a fine powder. I let it brew for 1h50 minutes. Just had A LITTLE BIT of procrastination to take this high of a dose. As you can imagine, I am experiencing fear in that dose. But that's where the gold is, so here I am. I really want to Focus my awareness on looking for the perceiver until I realize there is no perceiver. I am definitely experiencing a massive procrastination and hesitation to take the dose. I haven't had THIS MUCH fear in a while. So that's a good indicator that it's going to be a very deep trip. This kind of dose and this kind of fear warrants a very high amount of seriousness with my intention. The more fear I have, the more serious I have to become about the trip. Otherwise it will spiral out of control into an undesirable experience. I said to myself: “I want to awaken!” What is REALITY? Taken at 1:35pm I should strain it going forward. Literally drinking a cup of dirt at this point. It is gross. I'm 15 minutes in, about to get MEGA stoned. I guess I'm a bit impatient, even now, as I should have done 6 grams 6 more times to the point where I'm ready. But, here we are. So yeah there was a little bit of panic that I could have escalated into, but this is my 25th trip with mushrooms, so I'm okay. If this was an LSD trip, that would have spiraled massively down into whatever uncomfortable state of mind. Upping the dose and acclimatizing to a higher dose of LSD is ITS OWN TRIP. Until I acclimatize, it can be easy to be distracted by the idea of "What the hell am I in for at THIS dose?". 6.5 grams is getting to be up there with monetary cost. I may consider purchasing synthetic Mushrooms to save money. (4-AcO-DMT) On the come up and during the trip I am Watching Leo's video on his guided exercise to realizing you're God. I’ve been listening to this one during several of my trips. Usually I can get so distracted with mushrooms so it's a challenge for myself to actually work through the entire video. I HAVE TO be very intentional to focus on the video. What is God? I notice that I should be meditating again because it's hard to sit there and focus: To sit there and be bored. I need to meditate a minimum of 10 minutes a day for the rest of my life. I noticed that I'm actually impatient and I don't want to get bored with this inquiry process. I'm unconsciously avoiding boredom. That is a very valuable insight, so here we are, we're going to be bored. 29 minutes in Noticing visuals. Had 'em earlier too. You have a lack of awareness of the programming that you're in. That's how reality controls you. You become an individual that thrives/matches the environment that you find yourself in. And you've mistaken your identity based on what is consistently present in your direct experience. Including your identity of you being a human. But also, you can mistake your identity of being not good enough by growing up in a school where the entire attitude of reality says "You're not good enough. You're different, and that's a bad thing. You're an outcast. Etc" Have you ever met someone that is clearly an individual that is clearly in an echelon above you? I met this one guy that clearly gave a bright white and green aura. When you become the WHO that you're after, it seems that your presence sends out constant signals to attract and repel different parts of reality. When you become exactly WHO you desire, you ARE IT. You IS it. You BECOME it. By BEING it, you will naturally blast away all that is not meant for you. You will blast away all that isn't you. When you're a being of exactly what you need to be, you blast away everything else! That's why you will lose your friends, addictions, beliefs and mindsets that are impure to begin with. This is par for the course in creating the momentum built up for a natural purification process. I have to speak three times a week - BECAUSE it's hard - BECAUSE I don't have time - BECAUSE I'm not inspired. That's Religion. You need to read your last trip report. Do your homework! (Will do) You have to get ripped out of your love for your people. Only listen to teachings grounded in direct experience. If you're not operating at a TEN, there's still problems! (A 10/10) I am starting to believe that we naturally love to perform at our optimum 10/10 Self, but we don't know how and we don't know how to overcome our challenges. All my direct experience is actually distraction. Fuck everything! Holy fuck! God! God will create distractions in such intelligent manners to hide himself from your conscious awareness, it's incredible how subtle it is. He will do this by creating distraction. These distractions are MASTERFUL. It feels like Reality is intelligently learning how to do this as an ongoing process of designing reality in a way to make the dream so Dreamy that you'll never wake up. Reality is a system designed to not discover itself. Reality will create a way to kill you so you don't realize that you're God. Love is the pattern of God. My "beer" is a highly healthy fruit drink. Instead of having beers and sodas in the fridge like a Fool, I should have really nutritious superfood drinks. You have a lack of awareness of the programming that you're in. Therapy is a process of taking your Authority back. And once you have the authority back then you actually take correct control of your life. People who try to be your teacher typically have their minds closed to the possibility that they could be taught by you. Reality is a system that is designed to distract you away from god-realization. Reality is a construct that is SO ELABORATE that the last thing you would guess is that it was all imagined. The story that I show other people is realizing that you are the swan! I am acutely aware right now that there are no other people. Everyone is just imagined. Absolutely everyone. To open your mind up to this possibility is the real challenge. Opening your mind up to this is not fun at all. Fucking everything that I think that "happened" in the past was just "turtles all the way down" to explain away this present moment. An infinite chain of explanation to create the illusion of a reality that is "real". We wouldn't question an illusion that spans infinitely in all directions and dimensions due to our bias of following things linearly. That is the trick of God. We'd be like "no way, that's way too much work", "There's no way God would go THAT far to create an illusion that's not even real!" But we forget that this is nothing for an infinite mind with unlimited power. So yeah, it WOULD go this far and it WOULD be this elaborate. It would be TOTAL as fuck! Why not? What would stop it? We have a misguided assumption of understanding what REAL is. To my current understanding, what's REAL is just a point where you sit at a "high concentration" point of the infinite fractal of God. “High concentration” meaning that there are too many stories and contexts to keep track of so you get fully lost in the dream of reality. So many stories that it knits a web that cocoons you in illusion. Since you're always in illusion and always have only experienced illusion in this life, you've never had an experience outside of it. There's no duality to create a reference point for your mind to understand. Reality will become "unreal" (as in you become conscious that you're looking at absolute infinity/imagination) when you have a direct experience of what's ACTUALLY real, what's ACTUALLY True. Awakening is the suffering process of emerging from your cocoon of illusions. As shedding illusions is a process of shedding all form and fully loving and accepting the truth of impermanence in all areas. I understand more now when Leo says as ego goes down, consciousness goes up. Psychedelics will wipe away the presence of these stories in your direct experience, allowing you to focus your awareness on what's actually the case. The higher the dose, the more ego dissolution. The more you're able to focus on the substance of God. The void/everything of God. I have accessed a state of consciousness where It is much clearer to me that this field of awareness is going to occur eternally. I'M the one that is going to be living all the lives in all the realities. When this body dies I will imagine a whole new reality. Let's hope the next one is Pandora, and not making bricks with my hands for 20+ years! (But of course, I will imagine both.) I'm talking to my mom while on the trip while she is a great trip sitter! I'm like: "Mom! We will be having conversations like this FOREVER for eternity." Definitely a moment for a cry. It is a very emotionally challenging reality to accept eternity. But here's the kicker: I became conscious that any emotion that is a negative reaction is just something that I'm ALSO imagining as well. So the true nihilism kicks in and it just becomes a moot point. Any emotion that I am experiencing is still things that I'm imagining. - Respect always finds its place where it's due. So the way you act now, people will remember and as they mature they will look upon those memories through that new mature lens. So don't be shy to act in the highest manner aligned with respect. People will recognize eventually. - Tapping into the COMET of GOD's Intelligence Have you ever noticed that these overnight successful people live these incredibly fast paced, high Workload lives? Like it's either insanely high intensity or no success at all? I don't think this is a coincidence. Think about it this way: So you want to live a life aligned with the intelligence of God? If you want to capture the intelligence of God, then you have to speed up yourself to the seriousness of commitment required! This is a process of eliminating all of your distractions and fully committing your heart, mind and soul to your craft. It's a heroic journey of surrendering to what's required of you to become the individual that is a vessel that channels the intelligence of God through you! You have to do everything you can to optimize your brain, body and mind to be able to receive these downloads. Working out multiple times a day. Fasting & Eating the best foods, detoxing heavy metals! Constantly finding ways to stimulate your state of consciousness to be ready to put in the work. Listening to motivational speeches every day. Doing the meditation, saying no to things that lower your state of consciousness and lower your vibration. etc! The Process of tapping into the intelligence of God is a process of surrender into being your best 10.0 self to be able to access and channel the intelligence of God through you. (Ten-Point-O self across the board.) You have to surrender to your body every day. Wake up on time, no distractions. Create VOLUME , VOLUME, VOLUME! I am a channel, a comet! To catch a comet, you have to be ready If you want access to God, you better listen! Do your homework! God MADE your brain so that you could learn that shit! The extraordinariness of God is a scary comet to catch, but you’d be a fool not to fly out to catch it. It's like flying out to mars. It's like flying from earth to live on an advanced civilization that is on a comet. When I reflect back on the moments growing up in elementary school: - The whole attitude of reality manifested itself that you were not important. - Think of how the mind of God physically manifests for you as the attitude that he has created to carve you into who you are today. - The attitude that you are a loser was indoctrinated in the brain's chemistry. It's not in your awareness, it's subconscious! To understand reality as best as possible, we need to be running at peak capacity. (Sleep, nutrition, exercise, heavy metal detox, supplements, etc. ) What is Self? - it's a construct that you create to operate in reality. - You need a physical being to walk. If you are God, you are an open infinite field of awareness, nothingness and infiniteness. You create a body and a reality "separate" from it to BE ABLE to look around. My existence is just a story. On Dying - Dying is a state of consciousness that you go through, and then it's done. Then there is a new chapter. Wayne Dyer talks about dying as taking off one robe and putting another one on. I respect my life so much. You have been gifted with an extraordinary mind. When you get herded with the sheep your whole life, you mistake your identity for a sheep. God will write the story for you to be with the herd until you realize that you are God. Then the story of meaning stops. The hardest insight today is realizing that other people don’t exist. It means that I am alone. Becoming god is a therapy session. You need therapy to catch the comet. I am alone - it just is. You are imagining the emotions of having a hard time to comprehend things. Solipsism is that realization that makes you go "oh shit I'm actually alone in this bitch". Direct experience is God choosing to exist. If God did not want direct experience he could choose not to. Think about this, God has chosen to have reality exist exactly as this! I feel like God has pre-installed this innate curiosity about reality in me that caused me to pursue this process of awakening. God installed the fear of sleep every day to become enlightened. The curiosity that was in Leo was pre-installed. - Your physical manifestation of how you exist every day says everything I need to know about you. - The nervous system tells you everything you need to know about a person. - I come from a lineage of people that chose to not embrace life until it was too late. Not taking responsibility for death. .. What's Terrifying and what I have grazed on before is that I'll live forever. What's even more terrifying is I'M the one that's going to do it. Imagine looking at your mother and realizing IT'S JUST YOU and kind of being mad at the illusion itself and wanting to punch your mom in the head! I assume what is going to happen is that this solipsism will slowly become more and more of my normal baseline direct experience as I trip more and more. Similar to me losing my face and head. After reflection and tons more study. I did not become directly conscious of God. It would've felt more like absolute infinity. I would have KNOWN FOR SURE that it was God. What I experienced at the peak was an absolute Solipsism of sorts. Days after the trip As time passes I fall back asleep. But I do have a faded memory in my mind of that state of consciousness. But yeah when I was completely at the peak when I was talking to my mom it was just fucking surreal. And the most amazing part was that my mom just went with it being like "Yeah, so?" During this trip I became extremely conscious that only my direct experience exists and therefore even other people is just the Mind. Reality is literally JUST MY EXPERIENCES. There's just me looking through this VOID of which I thought there was a face before. There is no other person behind any of the other eyes that I see. I am the only See'er. I'm the only experiencer. The gravity of this insight is incredibly shocking and is definitely an "oh shit" moment. REAL SOLIPSISM. The amount of authority that I now take back for taking control over my entire life is more than ever before. The amount of authority that I take back to solve this puzzle that I call life and reality has become a whole lot more serious because I realize I'm the only mother fucking player. The choice to be good is truly a choice now, of course I should still be mindful of the consequences of my actions as well. Because my direct experience is the only thing that exists, only I can awaken. End of Report.
  7. University is full of retardation, I avoid enrolling in it myself for precisely this reason. Often times you need to identify your love for something OUTSIDE of a traditional educational setting & OUTSIDE of a need of it being able to bring in an income. Once you can be sure of what is THAT THING that you love, then you can learn how to create a life around what you love that will also feed you. This is where the zone of genius comes in. This is where the signature strengths come in. This is where identifying your top 10 values comes in in instructing you how to live your life on a daily basis. Where what you do on a daily/monthly/weekly basis is just you fulfilling the top 10 values of yours that allows you to live the most happy existence. Connect with the essence of what makes you drawn to theoretical physics in the first place. Like, are you genuinely interested as fuck in understanding physics in your free time? What would be a project or problem in theoretical physics that you can genuinely get excited about? Try to identify what is it that excites you. Expose yourself to more experience here and allow yourself to deeply introspect into how it feels. Do not stall your decision making, do not be indecisive. Making the wrong decision will provide you the clarity you need on what the right decision is. Make a decision to pursue an activity that you think is aligned with your life purpose, and during the moments of direct experience and after, reflect on whether or not you genuinely align with this part of reality. It may not be just "theoretical Physics" But something more fundamental and broad to that.
  8. I think Leo talking about "What is Imagination?" or "How You Are Imagining Reality" would be so insanely powerful. I can imagine how tough of a communication that would be. But it could serve as some great pointers.
  9. Following Brian Johnson's Anti-Ageing Protocol in some form. https://protocol.bryanjohnson.com/ Lots of ATG Longevity Exercises such as backwards walking. Taught from TheKneesOverToesGuy. https://youtu.be/LHMbR2a4W8c
  10. @Sincerity I'm okay with having things that don't matter fade away completely.
  11. Gold Thread.
  12. You could say that the entirety of January was a Giant Ego backlash for me. Procrastinating from filming my next video. Eventually devolving into chasing dopamine hits all day surfing the web and eventually binge watching Breaking Bad. Not working out. Eating junk food. Dipping too much into porn and masturbation. etc. I've noticed that I lost a lot of touch with motivation. The most motivated I have ever been was freshly after I completed Leo's life purpose course in 2019. When I was fresh out of the gates from that course I was so determined and so excited to tackle my life purpose I had so much ferocity that I would just PLOW through everything no matter how painful it was because I was driven and I was passionate and I was willing to let whatever part of my ego die in service of creating the ego that would fulfill my life purpose. Now, I am in my own apartment all the time with only my own initiative to motivate myself. I feel like I lost touch with a lot of my motivation and I've lost touch with my life purpose. I feel bad for myself for avoiding reviewing the life purpose course for so long. "How could I be such a fool to not see this coming? To not see that my entire motivation system hinges on a life purpose and a vision." I've been able to identify that I really don't know how to feed my muse. It feels like the ways to feed my muse is inaccessible or there's a lot of hurdles that I have to jump through that I don't want to put up with (e.g. Get a certification here, go to school for 4 years there to then get a half good position of a JOB). When I think about ways I can feed my muse, I feel like my muse is fed when I can help other people under the context of emotionally difficult situations. For example, someone trying to push themselves in the gym, someone trying to face Their Fear with something and being able to hold that space for them. Being able to give a lecture to a group of eager to learn students. Being able to guide someone on a rough psychedelic trip. I absolutely love being able to hypnotize other people into being motivated and to really put the fucking Spirit into something. I like to help people become fully engaged with their life. Yet the same time I'm finding myself struggling to create a life for myself where I feel fully engaged. I lack the vision. I lack the direct experience of a reference point to shoot for. I feel like I need to just sit and watch a high performing intellectual motivational speaker/ self-help guru/ Youtuber exist in front of me for a day or something. What really inspires me is being an absolute unit and Fountainhead of inspiration for others. Just being able to tow the line for everyone else. But I lack the vision. At least that's what I currently believe... I realize at this point no motivational video or whatever is going to really help me as much as just reconnecting with a life purpose and a vision. And then feeding and programming my mind strategically towards that. I also genuinely Wonder how much my idea of my life purpose has fallen away from me in my pursuit of understanding Reality by stripping away more and more until I realize that there are no other people. Like that's gotta do a number on your psyche across the board. I do wonder how much of this process of Awakening is also stripping away the constructs of a life purpose. At this point, I realize that it doesn't really matter what I do as a career, I just want to find a spot where my ego feels like it fits the most. Such that it is fully engaged every single day fully putting its Spirit into life. Because what matters the most is just being able to enjoy your direct experience until your body dies and then you move on into imagining another life in another reality. My goals are siloed into 3 categories. Book Writing Life Coaching YouTube Success I've done a lot of writing on my book and I've shelved it for now. Started that thing in 2020. (130k words in main document, 100k words in the trash) I have one pro-bono client that I'm working with, but I would absolutely love to have a lot more people to help. Being a life coach for people creates a lot of good movement in my mind. I'm also getting close guidance under a mentor of mine so I am learning at an accelerated rate. I am working on my YouTube, and I am chipping away at it. Not nearly at the pace I want to. Lots of procrastination. Feeling a lot of resistance. I realize that because I don't really have much survival pressure on me, I just wither away. I have about 2 years of money saved up, so there is no direct experiences reinforcing the idea that I have to hurry the fuck up or I will be sentenced to a another prison of a job just to survive. I'm grasping at hairs in really figuring out how to motivate myself sustainably. The conclusion that I have come to so far especially after since doing a big mushroom trip around this topic is that I have to create a lot more momentum in my mind. I also need to program my mind a lot more with a constructed vision to run towords, and I need to interface with an idea of a nightmare to run away from if I let myself wither away for too long. I am way too fucking complacent right now it's unbelievable. And I feel like I'm crawling myself out of a hole of complacency because I have a lack of a serious grasp of the stakes at hand. Here are three things that I plan to do to stay motivated Go to a university three times a week and work there the entire day, rather than just staying at home 7 days a week. Reconnect with my life purpose and Rediscover what my life purpose is by going through Leo's value assessment once again. Progressively do more and more 5MeO to one day grasp what God is. As I Intuit that raising my consciousness can help me become more and more conscious of the ways I am deceiving myself around my motivation. Plus it allows me to move the needle towards my awakening goals because it would be really nice to become conscious of God at some point. I also see chasing Enlightenment goals as one way to create a real challenge in my life for once. A BIG goal of mine is to pursue Awakening very deeply, and I feel like I can chip away at that by doing a psychedelic every couple of weeks or so until I need to take a bigger break for integration. I've currently just been doing high doses of mushrooms. I would like to get 5MEO working for me, yet I would also like to get AL-LAD a try. But I'm not going to allow myself to touch AL-LAD until I do my homework on it. On top of that, I would like to commit to the following Picking a wake up time and sticking to it. Picking a morning routine and sticking to it. Scheduling every single day, the day before, and sticking to it. Following through with a consistent bedtime and actually respecting the fucking bedtime. Picking a time to fall asleep and sticking with it. Listening to a motivational speech from Wes Watson to program my mind. I find myself more motivated when I listen to that guy. Working out every single day. Reading an Hour every day. Visualizing for 10 minutes every single day. I'm finding that I struggle with visualization so much, I have no idea what the hell I should be trying to visualize. I don't really have any thing that I'm visualizing that is creating any sense of emotional Spark. I'm honestly completely lost with that. The best thing that I can visualize is picking a video idea and then imagining how it would look. That is what I've had the most success with. But I feel like I want to be visualizing a scenario of the man I want to become. I remember Wes Watson talking about for all those days he was in prison, what kept Him going was this idea of walking in a field and seeing his future wife and kid and embodying the state of consciousness of being a man that did everything he could by putting in the work every single day with a beautifully chiseled body because he worked out every single day knowing that he has achieved all the success that he could ever imagine. I want to create that kind of visualization scenario for myself. I also have no vision and I've been struggling with creating a vision since day one. I didn't even have the ability to construct a vision when I took Leo's life purpose course back in late 2019. I don't even know what an exciting life is for me, I don't have enough direct experience of the possibilities of what's out there for the kinds of lives I could live. I'm withering away like an incel typing away at a computer. I need to find ways to really challenge myself in life precisely because it is unnecessary. I feel like that's where the most of the fun is. I want to have a challenge that I can be on board with. I would love to be able to work as hard as Leo did towards Actualized.org. I want to be able to have the focus to contemplate as much as Leo does. I can barely focus myself to sit the fuck down and contemplate some real shit about reality. I think I'm not alone when I say I want to become a mini Leo Gura in my own way. Embodying the attitude of a seriousness sage towards your life. I would love to live a life like Laird Hamilton where your life is badass as fuck. Where you are just an absolute UNIT that keeps going. https://youtu.be/bMqSmj-X4ls I would love to become a Wim Hof where I have people gather around me to do ice bath and breathing exercises. I would love to speak to audiences like Wayne Dyer and Sean Stephenson. I want to HYPNOTIZE motherfuckers into living a passionate life! https://youtu.be/ja-n5qUNRi8 I want to FEED the spirit of others!
  13. Where does he teach this?
  14. I appreciate you guys holding this place to a set standard! This is so important!