Natasha Tori Maru

Good advice. To be honest there isn't much for anyone to gain from my story. Not at the time, I was very tranced out like you described. It was afterwards. I felt like my concepts of all I knew disintegrated. I questioned everything and felt like I was going insane. I kept trying to redefine reality and what I classed as real. And I really understood in that process that I didn't know anything and hadn't ever really dug into what made me able to define something as real or not. The experience was probably what prompted me to explore OBE's and hypnagogic work. Thanks for being open minded. Will leave it at that

@Eskilon I wasn't going to reveal this here. But I just sort of lost all fucks hiding shit that is a big part of my experience. I used to be so closed off. As I get older I just stop caring about how I am perceived. I have just as many questions as you really. I don't know why the mantis ones showed themselves to me. No other type. I can tell you that they don't exist in our material reality. They don't experience time. They have a collective form of memory/consciousness that is really different because they don't have voices, there isn't a language. Whole concepts of information felt transmitted - it feels like you suddenly have all these gestalt/images but with context transmitted at the same time. But there is an awareness another is connecting and sharing the concepts. You feel the expanse. It is like a giant mind behind the eyes - and it makes me wonder if @Leo Gura's alien consciousness wasn't something similar accessed, somehow. And I do not mean alien as in NHI or extra-terrestrial. I mean like a hive mind of consciousness like a river of knowing. Like a tap into some other type of consciousness that isn't contained to a form but semi unified and expansive. Don't know any of this for sure. Just makes me wonder. I don't have answers - just more unknowns. Like yourself!

Thanks for this. I don't often speak about my experience because in the past it has simply acted to discredit me in other arenas: suddenly one is not taken seriously or completely dismissed because one aspect of experience isn't aligned with others. I do realise it is a huge claim. But to actually deny the experience is a much worse outcome for my own sanity. It is/was a big ontological shock. And I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Did I claim that though? Which is sort of what I am pointing to. Because he is doing some good things. I think you assume I do not see the good stuff simply because I can discern oddities/inconsistencies with someone's message/character. I have been tracking his progress for a good few years, because I am curious.

Maybe - harkening back to your other thread touching on this - the anger is disowned from your experience. This place may be acting as a safe space for you to allow this. Perhaps there could be some suppression. Coming on here could be a function of healthy expression. But I am sure there are other conduits for this. The anger could be masking something else. I always tend to take a good hard look at amplified emotions. 💚💚💚

@Ramasta9 I find it so odd. It is like they want to preserve their ego above all else. The worst part of themselves. The part that refuses to accept limitation. The attached, material side is clung to at all costs. Staunch refusal to engage in the flow of life and its process. Inoculation against nature.

According to the proper use of the word 'claim', yes - because I have no evidence or proof. All I have is my own experience that I return to. For a long time I just told myself I was crazy. And I have been told I am crazy. Or making shit up. I have gone over and over what makes something real.

Twice it has happened - no idea why I was chosen. They gave me the impression I was being observed since an infant. I don't think there is anything remarkable about me that would single me out. Only that I have some skills with emotions & feelings that are less common. At my late grandfathers house the first time (Melbourne). Second time at the Riverina - which is an outback agricultural region in NSW Australia. There is a farm there owned by a family friend I stay at occasionally.

I think this is controlled disclosure. We are being told exactly what they want to tell us. I've mentioned a couple of times I have had experience with visitors. One of the things they 'told' me (told because I don't have a word for it, it is more like transmit or you enter one mind with them) - was that some UAP/UFO's are ours, and some are theirs. The reason our tech hasn't been revealed to us is because it works on free energy. Governments do not wish for a complete collapse of all systems as a result. They were pretty adamant that free energy would end many systems we labour under that keep us somewhat stuck (bills, power, water etc in a cycle of working). These UFOs take energy from the fabric of spacetime itself. Our science and physics has been limited and there are gaps in our knowledge that are intentional. I do recall them impressing upon me to look into why physics hasn't progressed in so long, after so many breakthroughs. 'They' also routinely interfere with nuclear power. This is the one way we can obliterate ourselves. We are very unique in the universe because we are a voiced species who are very very individuated as a result. Supremely creative. Dunno if anyone else on this forum has any experiences? These were mantis things - bigger than a doorway, almost room height. With black eyes they did the mind-union thing. The eyes are really frightening. Like falling into too much knowledge. Anyway feel free to believe this or not. Just what happened to me.

I manipulate materials & people to create science, education & medical facilities to heal

@Thought Art All good I think I was just taken aback at how much emotion was coming through. However you want to see it, it is N = 1. I guess we disagree I notice you did not address some of the other issues I raised.

This is definitely what I am pertaining to. Leo disagrees with your view - and you are firm in your belief regarding Bryan. It is okay for Leo to disagree - but in the process you are judging Leo. And that is fine as we all do this. But it points to something disowned within you. A discernment would not lead to so much emotional charge. I suppose it is just an emotional connection to Leo (and history). This is a pedestalization effect being projected onto Leo, and a let down over feeling he has not lived up to your standards. But maybe an area of growth is there for you? So I see you also do this with Bryan - you seem to be pedestalising him also. But in Bryans case, you are dismissing any questionable aspects being raised. This could be a form of cognitive bias in your thinking. Not sure. I suppose I see this as strange as he always has some sort of rationale behind his treatments etc. But he is rather silent on these aspects. Something just does not feel right. Again, this is my perception. Add in the religious stuff, fear of death. Strange netflix documentary where he displays a lot of attachment trauma to his son. He seems unhealed in some aspects. Fractured and trying to grasp at something. Meaning, maybe? In addition - I do not see him as a leader. Just a dude doing an experiment of n = 1. Do you think seeing him as a leader is warranted? Especially as he is attempting to compete with Jesus. Which he has actually said.

@Thought Art Oh yes that is all good - not contesting how you feel or the validity of it. It just seems like there could be more at stake here - and maybe Leo's reaction is what is at stake for you, and less so Bryan and his worldview !

There is some contradictory behaviour with Bryan also - don't we think? I find it strange he dyes his hair, got false teeth, injected fat into his face. Focus' in hair regrowth. I suppose on the one hand you can say this is part of the experiment - but not all he does it for longevity or the benefit of others. Despite him earnestly attempting to communicate this message. There is vanity there I wonder why he does not own? He could be bypassing this vanity with longevity arguments. One other part I find odd: if just losing a small amount of sleep or changing schedule so slightly totally bricks your mood/energy/experience I have to wonder about that. It communicates fragility, not resilience.

@Emerald I get it For me I love using this forum to reveal ego and become triggered. I allow all my reactions and emotions and observe them. Accurately name them. Find their root cause. I am always rejecting something within myself when I disown, disagree or have a catalytic conversation. And I want to integrate all sides as an attempt to discern, but not judge. To bring wholeness and unity to my experience. In particular I often learn a lot when I am prompted to gently provoke others