Valach

But you do not built relationships on laughter. As @Miguel1 said a lot of what works within the realm of casual or PUA dating is basically an antithesis of healthy long-term relationships. I am not saying that having fun is an enemy, but there should be some level of seriousness and vetting in the dating process and that is inherently not as emotionally stimulating. It is quite interesting when it comes to this if you think about it. There is a general consensus that focusing on just what feels right is not the best life strategy - then I would just play videogames, jerkoff, smoke weed etc. Yet when it comes to dating most peoples vetting process is basically "How emotionally stimulating is this person" - it's nuts.

@Miguel1 Read throug the topic and I agree with your approach. While there is nothing inherently wrong about dating more people at the same time (if you are honest about that), I feel like it tends to mix up too many energies/dynamics with different people in order to view them somewhat objectively. Besides I feel like just as @Zenterus mentioned, I filter out most woman on the first date anyways so it is hard to imagine for me to be seeing multiple woman at the same time whom I would be actually interested in. If I meet a woman where I see the potential for us to go further, I want to explore that. Trying to run around and find more people to date with seems like a defensive strategy to sabotage your relationships.

Damn, never knew that.

Hard to give any specific advice when you do not describe your interactions nor your sticking points. Looks wise you look just fine and should not be held back by it. My guess would be that you view the whole thing way too mechanical from the way you keep track of approaches/dates/sex etc. That was my impression from guys who did that whom I met IRL.

Natasha is mine! Stay way, you muggle.

It is interesting how girls will share it freely once they feel like you are not judging them. I have encountered these "lists" as well and I always got an ick around that. Feels quite objectifying.

Yeah, similiar. I used to be of belief that it does not matter at all. Some experimentation is fine and maybe warranted. But people who do not stop at some point do so for a reason. And that reason is not usually aligned with being good at long term relationships. But just like you, I do not really ask that.

Curious what is absurdingly high number to you?

It is both interestingly enough. The "healthy people" (without me shaming you in any way, I struggle with the same) simply pair up fairly quickly and tend to stay in those relationships so they never really get to sleeping around that much. Then you have insecure attachment (avoidants mostly) who engage in casual sex way more which reinforces their beliefs. Seeking perfect partner, being stuck on ex from past etc. are all defensive mechanism from getting hurt. Fear of rejection is a core fear of all avoidants.

I really enjoy your takes on here. Thanks for that. In my experience also people who chase intense short term situations also kind of condition themselves out of sustaining long term relationships - If all you know and want is excitment, what are you gonna do when it wears off with your long term partner right?

Author of the post, not you.

Okay, the very first comment he made here. Like I do not know what to tell you. This dude gets warning for the way he speaks to woman every second time he contributes, yet you find my views shallow for thinking he is misogynistic?

Like 5 instances of his messages just in this very post.

His "views" are heavily misogynistic.

I never said someone is bypassing or projecting. Sure, these arguments are cyclical and I can't really have any sort of "proof" of my arguments since I am just using my own experience. But then when I see questions many of the guys have on here it is quite visible that they still have a lot of development to do around the topic. It is a inner conflict really for me. Sure, this is a dating section, but we are also on spiritual forum as @Xonas Pitfall pointed out. I would expect many of the things claimed here more on some sort of underground pickup forum, not here.