You lack emotional intelligence because you lack balls to feel.

[ivankiss]

Life is not a walk in a park. If you think it is, there's not much for us to talk about. You are simply way too blind, numbed out and in denial. 

Truth is... if you dare to stand for something in this crazy world, if you have a path, if you are walking your talk and staying true to yourself... you're going to be crossed. Tempted. Challenged. Betrayed. Fooled. Played. Hurt. All that jazz.

It's inevitable. Unavoidable.

Life is a game too complex and intricate and advanced for you to not get burned. It is anything but harmless. Anything but danger - free. 

It can get quite hostile and ruthless.

Life devours itself to keep life going... it's usually not a pretty sight. 

The more you are blind and numb to this... the more you try to distract yourself from feeling everything that wants to be felt... the more defected and limited of a human being you become.

Emotions are an important aspect of being. Incredibly important. And it should be quite obvious that at large, today in our modern society, thought is God. We are quite literally obsessed with thinking. We value ideas so fucking much, and we run away from feeling anything slightly uncomfortable. 

Society at large is at a stage of infancy on the scale of emotional intelligence.

Most people are emotionally retarded. And that's not coming just from the accumulation of my personal frustrations and disappointments... it's just how it is. With or without me in the picture.

You must dare to feel. Everything that arises within being. A step beyond that is understanding the emotion, knowing how to transform and/or channel it, create something out of it, use it as fuel, etc. 

The deeper you know emotion in all of its endless forms and colours, the more you know yourself. You become whole. You do not walk around half - crippled, completely cut off from half of your being. You let it all be and do its thing. You understand the intelligence behind it all.

Just because you can ignore a feeling or distract yourself from it... it doesn't mean it seizes to exist. It will keep coming back, knocking on your door. And if you ignore it long enough, it's going to become this huge ball of raw nastiness and it's going to eat you from the inside out.

Have balls. That's the first step. Have the balls to feel, in this dark, cold world that has renounced and forgotten its own humanity. You are not weak if you dare to let out a tear, or put on a smile... You are weak if you numb yourself out and hide in your head, like all the other neurotic monkeys.

The world would be unrecognizable if feeling was of an equal importance as thinking. If both thought and feeling were fully understood and utilized. 

In fact, all the terror and all the atrocities happen because some people are emotionally retarded. Mentally too, don't get me wrong... But that's not the topic here.

Be honest with yourself, if you can. For some people honesty is a luxary. Or a completely alien thing, even. You see how that can be a problem... there is no truth without honesty. You literally cannot be your true self if you are incapable of being honest. And you most likely can't feel much of anything, either. 

There's levels to emotional numbness and dumbness... where do you consider yourself to be at?

Edited March 13 by ivankiss

[gettoefl]

there's 3 emotions: i'm guilty for what's been, i'm angry what's happening, i fear what's coming ... i hate on past present future ... that's it

every emotion is a tug to awaken, it's a thought that jumps into body to stick around a bit longer, an aid to help me get that bit more mindful

[ivankiss]

@gettoefl Possibly and dangerously over - simplifying it, but cool.

[gettoefl]

27 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

@gettoefl Possibly and dangerously over - simplifying it, but cool.

only working with a pea sized brain here, lots of love ivankiss

[RendHeaven]

Thanks for the reminder

[Sincerity]

Great post

I have intentionally dedicated so much time to processing emotions and undeniably I did make progress - but I'm still emotionally dumb as fuck, afraid of feeling and resisting for long periods of time. Hurts to be a devil. 

[Schizophonia]

I'm so emotionally intelligent that it scares me.
I'm like 10 moves ahead of everyone and I'm often in denial.

 

I see everything. 

[ivankiss]

Music is a good pointer.

Most emotionally crippled people are here.

While a very rare few, emotionally mature and sophisticated beings are here.

[Ahbapx]

Those who lack emotional intelligence lack the necessary synaptic connections that would take months or years to develop, or revive.

Calling them lacking balls is insensitive to the underlying struggles they went through and are still going through.

There is no bravery switch that can be just turned on.

[ivankiss]

@Ahbapx Fair point. But you also do need balls to face certain feelings.

I am obviously being a bit comical here, and that might come across as being insensitive. But if you read deeper into what I'm saying, there is a valid message there. Not just balls.

[Ahbapx]

it is the impossibility of handling those things that bring another dimension of pain/fear that requires getting numb in order to either save time, escape, find an alternative, or postpone it.

You don't need to feel every emotion. and you can't. Sometimes you escape.

[ivankiss]

@Ahbapx Some escape and build walls to find safety and heal, too. It's all good.

I'm mainly poking at those who know it's time to tear the walls down and stop hiding. To gather some courage and face some uncomfortable shit.

Of course it's not relevant to everyone.

[meta_male]

17 hours ago, ivankiss said:

There's levels to emotional numbness and dumbness... where do you consider yourself to be at?

INFP

[caspex]

Bhakti does exactly this to awaken you. You feel emotions so deeply that there is no room for thought anymore. You realise how the entire world is just a massive emotion, but eventually, you catch sight of this immense stillness within every part of this dynamism. Once you realise that stillness is yourself, you quit changing from within, you become as sturdy and immovable as a mountain, immovable by pressure no matter how strong. However, at the same time, your ability to feel, encompass and hold within yourself, is on par with the ocean.

[Bazooka Jesus]

18 hours ago, ivankiss said:

Music is a good pointer.

Most emotionally crippled people are here.

While a very rare few, emotionally mature and sophisticated beings are here.

How about the special folks who are here?

[Thought Art]

@ivankiss Overall good post. Thanks for sharing!

Edited March 13 by Thought Art

[Razard86]

It's not dangerous at all. The belief that it is dangerous means you believe there is something to lose. Sure if you care about material possessions, and your physical body and are attached to it heavily then everything you said is true. But none of it is true if you could care less. Danger is a construct, a heavy hard one to deal with because emotional and physical pain are heavy.

There are practices however that can sever the attachment to physical pain and emotional pain. Pain is due to metaphysical identity, when nothing takes on form and seeks to maintain the integrity of that form. There are practices to dissolve the heaviness and rigidity of that form. The more you do that, the more you realize there is nothing to fear.

[ivankiss]

37 minutes ago, Bazooka Jesus said:

How about the special folks who are here?

I guess I would enjoy a drink or two with those fellas!

@Thought Art Appreciate it.

@Razard86 Hurt people hurt people. Nothing to do with material possession.

Fear is intelligence, too. If you ignore fear when you really shouldn't, you're simply dumb. 

There's nothing to fear and there's everything to fear... but I think that's more suitable for another sub - forum.

[Thought Art]

This post got balls son!

[Vibes]

1 hour ago, Razard86 said:

It's not dangerous at all. The belief that it is dangerous means you believe there is something to lose. Sure if you care about material possessions, and your physical body and are attached to it heavily then everything you said is true. But none of it is true if you could care less. Danger is a construct, a heavy hard one to deal with because emotional and physical pain are heavy.

There are practices however that can sever the attachment to physical pain and emotional pain. Pain is due to metaphysical identity, when nothing takes on form and seeks to maintain the integrity of that form. There are practices to dissolve the heaviness and rigidity of that form. The more you do that, the more you realize there is nothing to fear.

What practices are you talking about?