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About Ulax

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  1. Man I get so irritated sometimes
  2. Some people in this world need to stfu, my days
  3. @petar8p I'd say it is a trigger of mine I'd say, i.e. I get annoyed too. Yet, I don't think we deserve a no. Also, my understanding of why I get triggered is different now. Firstly, my chosen code of ethics means that I believe she has the right not to reply to me, as I have the right to not reply to others. And, my thoughts around thinking she should reply are just entitled thoughts. Not that I, from a conscious perspective, want to condemn those thoughts but that's how i classify them. (I base my code of the assertive rights code in 'When I say no I feel guilty' by Manuel Smith). Second, I just try to sit and process the feeling of annoyance using the letting go technique. Which I find pretty effective. Though I find it somewhat difficult to let go of thoughts. Thirdly, I understand that if I believe i am annoyed at the girl for not replying, that I am just projecting, and it is a way I unconsciously have decided to regulate my emotions. Tho I struggle to do this in the moment sometimes.
  4. I think one the main things I'm dealing with atm is around life purpose. I don't think I'm resonating at a level of energy that makes Leo's life purpose course very effective for me. I've done it before but my understanding is I'm very dissociated from my emotions, and so its hard to get in touch with my intuitions. I might give some videos a quick run through again to see whether my ability to sit with my emotions helps. I think that psychotherapy will likely be the direction I eventually go in as my purpose. However, I have doubts around whether I might actually have ADHD, which could make it a difficult field to excel in, and also provide value to my clients. And, I really don't want to play around with clients lives. I don't think that i'm going to graduate college given my current circumstances. I think a large part of it is not having something lined up after it, so I unconsciously like the idea of taking another year out of college because it gives me a sense of stability and certainty. So, I think organising some things for after college is going to be pretty useful. One emotional cycle i think i understand is an overwhelm - > Apathy cycle, such that i think when i lacked certainty, i get confused, and then ge overwhelmed and then get into apathy. The apathy, I think, is a way i unconsciously regulate myself. And I quite like the apathy, its comforting. Yet, I find it pretty destructive in the medium to long term. And I think that often leads to me abandoning plans. Also, I really need to deal with my paranoia. I think I would meet the criteria for paranoid personality disorder. I have this real pervasive idea generally that people are out to get me, and only out for themselves. and that nice people are simply naive to malevolent people. Its something I think I only became more conscious of earlier this week, around this time when I wrote the post about 'Jackpot, paranoia!'. I'm on elvanse rn which I think reduces fear quite a lot, so I'm in a different level of energy rn, to my understanding.
  5. I'm pretty sure I want to start a small business centred around being a psychotherapist. However, I still have a lot of trauma to work through. I want to do my practice in good faith. And in keeping with that I wouldn't want to become a psychotherapist whilst I still had a load of this trauma to work through. I'm working on overcoming my trauma atm, yet I'm not sure what to do in the meantime. Any ideas?
  6. https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5mYmiKoEcu9iOI6tGyoYke?si=58b8eeb50268481c
  7. @Juressic I'd say I used to be in a somewhat similar friendship group. I'd personally leave them asap. Their bad vibe will likely be pulling your own vibe down.
  8. Sincerely tho @Leo Gura, here is my feedback. I think more focus on conscious relationships. More understanding of how people with personality disorders will exploit the forum. Keep your ego in check. I think you're doing a lot of great things overall though. You've already accomplished a lot of special things with this site imo.