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  1. I don't think so. Maybe sometimes.. Yes! That's exactly my point. There are times when you can sit back from the mind, and then it will do anything to suck you back in. So it must be able to co-opt anything, I think. I can feel it when reading your words. Of course, I want to come back and say 'what about this and that'. Namaste, @Theplay. Yes, I do believe that. That's the game, right? @Yimpa Thank you. I will try and contemplate this. Is it not true though, that you can turn inwards and wade through dunes and mountains of shit before you get to that place? and as Im typing this, I realise, that is the point. I think. To realise that you are not the dunes and mountains but the one who has been observing that this whole time. Right? @Moksha Yep. This is exactly what I'm not getting!!! @Breakingthewall I think you're right. @Darodos And yet, my question is, how can I transcend ego totally
  2. Obviously, I suppose. But coming to that realisation is a headfuck. There's always a story ego can spin. Absolutely always, by it's very nature. Because it's your most fundamental sense of self. Experiences and how you've turned out because of the conditioning by other characters and society as a whole. You survived by thinking your name is John Doe, I'm a male, 399 years old, etc. For the excuse of physical survival, ego has free reign to live. Language, humour, maths, social pleasantries, hobbies. If it has all those things at it's disposal, how does one transcend? To recognise, I would suggest, that what that voice ego has is, actually, bullshit. Sometimes. Hunger, thirst, breath, I suppose are more fundamental, but nevertheless, aspects of ego. But now I'm getting the feeling that I'm chatting shit, and starting to think I'm slightly crazy - ego. So if you're going with that for 399 or 30 years - and now you're trying to transcend that - there's going to be momentum to it. And when something comes in to contradict it, what do you think its gonna do? It's gonna shit itself and say "wtf no way" look at this story I have that has taken everything from the past, the potential future, the very unlikely future, and a tiny sliver of the present. There will always be something it can say. I suppose it does open the question of can ego change? With its self actualization and what not. Yes, I'm sure, but that is still ego; young or old, healthy or unhealthy. And thus, infinite. I do recall a moment where I recognised that I am not the mind, the body, or the flaky bits of thrush, after doing the Neti Neti method. But ego has an infinite ability to spin its web. How does one reach Mu? Or achieve No-Mind? If ego is infinite. OR IS THAT an infinite excuse?
  3. Last few days have felt like a breakthrough for me. Various wisdoms are dropping on me, seemingly, whilst also the prospect of self-deception is in everything. Which can be funny. Everything is true in varying degrees. Seems to be the main discovery. How do I know that everything is true in varying degrees? If I make up a scenario with my imagination and say, "from this point of view it's X, from this point of view it's Y" and more and more perspectives can be listed, what's the spirit level that I'm using to test the validity of that perceived perception against? My own mind! And how do I know that the scenario my mind has produced is true? Especially if I'm putting myself into the mind of a killer or something. I've never experienced that, so how do I know what that is like? My own mind! But there's many ways to be a killer, and many reasons why, so how do I experience all those How's and Why's and perspectives and then produce an analysis of those perspectives to then know why it may have happened. It's double-filtered. Is my intuition of what that experience might be flawed? Is it shaped by thriller movies and historical killers and things I have gleaned from this? And then the history could be misconstrued, the thriller movies Exaggerated etc. But then does that invalidate your theories that are, lets say, made purely by imagination, if that was possible - with no prior personal experience, even third-party. But even if you have third-party experience, that is still a legitimate partial view of what killing is like, just extremely limited. Because if you witnessed a murder, you could observe and make meanings from your environment (facial expressions, weapons used, communication) out of what you see: maybe it was an accident, maybe it was planned, maybe the wife was cheating on the husband or vise versa. And while you can gain something from that experience, you can never truly know why it was going down, how did it get to that point. And thus everything is relative. And is that why, or how, everything is infinite? The mind makes it real, partially. In one sense, it's real, the mind has produced it and if it has been produced and exists, even as a thought, that is as real as you're eyeballs viewing the external world. And it's also not real because we can come up with any number of other scenarios and those all become real too, by that logic. And the eyeballs can be rendered useless by blindness and what happens then, is external reality not real anymore? Maybe. Maybe just not visually. And as I write this, my mind says "what if that's a self-deception?" And I'm like, oh fuck maybe it is. And that is also true and not true to varying degrees! I think...
  4. As the title suggests, I'm seriously thinking about going homeless, voluntarily. I work a 9-8 job 4 days a week and I cannot cope with it. Its a customer service role, answering phone calls. It's working from home which I guess I should be grateful for, but my gratitude grows weaker with every "this is shocking". My desire, at this moment, is to pack up and head for the hills (or anywhere that will provide me some true solitude) but I do have reservations, as you might imagine. I'm sure those I consider family will help me when I need it and because I'm in a job right now, I could buy every necessary tool and apparatus to do this right. I would, of course, have to say goodbye to my room I'm staying in, which is a lovely, big room. However, I'm afraid I just cannot cope with the rat race at this time. I really can not fucking do it. And I feel this may be a wonderful experience; kind of like Into The Wild but in Britain's fields, fords and forests.
  5. If you were to accidentally leave a substance in a hot location, would there be any negative effects? For example: LSD in tinfoil, in a suitcase, in a car, in the middle of summer. Also asking generally, so include any information that might be necessary.
  6. I know about the lion and it's desire to kill and eat. And how since we are all one, there is no real right and wrong. In my own perspective, it seems like God gave us the ability to eat other animals, but it is not necessarily the highest way of being. Because humans have a herbivorous digestive system and so forth. This would lead one to believe that animal meat should only be consumed as and when needed, eg: being stranded in a forest. This is a fundamental rule in the Hare Krishna religion. I am a vegetarian, primarily thanks to an LSD trip that showed me this is the way to go. Was a meat eater my entire life beforehand. What do you think?
  7. This thing that has existed since forever, and, presumably, will exist forever... Doesn't that just fuck you up to think about? It's begs the questions why and how. And also, when I contemplate this being the case, my mind says, "Wow. So what's outside of God then?" expecting a different answer. I mean it's just insane. Gonna go watch the Something instead of Nothing episode...
  8. Please translate as best you can some quotes from the likes of Jesus, Mohammed etc that closely represent what they were actually trying to say. "The kingdom of Heaven does not come with signs to be perceived." - Jesus Translation: The kingdom of Heaven is within You. You are God.
  9. How was the sex? You've probably got a lot of internalised homophobia and so this situation has become very serious because of that. I know that game all too well, my friend. You need to realise that your reaction to this is mostly coming from the shit sandwich society and probably your parents has fed you regarding sexuality. Start trying to deconstruct these beliefs you've been indoctrinated with. Realise that all that actually happened was you had sex with someone. That's it. You're not a bad person. And you don't have to start going to Gay Pride in a tank top with sparkly pom-poms. It's cool. Proud of you, brother.
  10. @cypres they can be clear signs of that, and they can also be clear signs of the opposite. It's dependant upon context, atmosphere and the history between the two people. Guessing from Fopylo's post, I'd say he's between 16-21. So we can assume both he and the girl he's courting are relatively sexually inexperienced. At this age, there's a lot of apprehension on both sides, naturally. The girl may not want to be seen as desperate or slutty and so is waiting for the guy to make the move. The guy may not want to be seen as too pushy or domineering. Both have not mastered the ability of escalating the situation. Thus, they both sit there uncomfortably waiting for the other to make the move. You seem to be projecting your experience on to this situation. If you read the story, the girl was clearly reciprocative to Fopylo. What you're talking about is potentially committing sexual assault, which has no place on this particular thread given the context provided by Fopylo.
  11. This should be obvious to anyone. Doesn't sound entirely relevant to Fopylo's story though. It sounds like what hindered his date was his apprehension to pull the trigger. From what he described, the girl is keen on him.
  12. I remember times like this in my teens. One time I invited this girl round my house and we watched a film, and I never saw her again after. You know why? Because I was too much of a pussy to kiss her or do anything with her. It's a harsh lesson, but as a man, you have to take the lead. You should have just moved her head towards you and kissed her when you felt like kissing her. Women, generally speaking, will not be the ones to make the move. You can give all the signals in the world and nothing will happen. You must lead. Sounds like she took it fairly well though. The reason why she asked "why did you say if we meet again?" is because she wants to see you again. So well done. Next time, try as hard as you can to break through the fear and just do it. She's expecting you to do this and it's totally natural. So just listen to your instinct and go for it. Good luck. Edit: Ted's advice is terrible. Sorry, Ted.
  13. @cypres Yes, I was just skimming over PTSD and everything it encapsulates to get to the point of my post. I agree with everything you've posted there.
  14. "we made 3 vaccines in 3 months! 9 months. And actually, it was 3 days less than 9 months and it's great." Part of me misses this guy.
  15. @Nahm More often than not, I feel your words do something. Even though they're utter bullshit and not even that.