WonderSeeker

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Posts posted by WonderSeeker

  1. Posted

    @k-ahmadzadeh Brother let me tell you, it's not just you. A lot of people go thru this.

    Me, I'm in door to door sales right now. And as someone who is not a natural at it (which is the case for most who do it), it will make you feel deeply unoptimistic about your goals, whether you'll make enough money to make it through, and change your life.

    Similar to what you're feeling.

    What to do about this? 

    I stay optimistic by saying all positive thoughts OUT LOUD, and let the negative thoughts come and go like rainstorms. They say that a negative thought that gets emotionally energized (usually said aloud) has 10x the negative effect on you. So no negative shit out loud. 

    Next, I always do the work whether I want to or not. No paralysis by analysis and no waiting for the world to dictate whether my future will be favorable or not. And I do this knowing I may get in a car crash tomorrow, get bit by a dog, go bankrupt, get an STD, a world war starts, whatever. Lol. 

    Both sides are true, the Tier 2 approach is about using what works to anneal to your target reality. And then let the chips fall where they may.

    Be a realistic optimist. 

  4. Posted

    On 12/31/2023 at 4:23 AM, ladyneptune said:

    What rituals do you follow if any?

    Take the last hour to reflect on paper:

    Top 3 major moves you made and how they've changed the trajectory of your life,

    What new seeds did you plant and how'd you grow,

    Top 3 moves for the next year and how you'll grow the seeds you planted from the previous year,

    Then get into the bod: do pushups, jump in the air, and physically feel into 2024,

    Then jerk off to christen the new year :P

  5. Posted

    12 hours ago, Past-Philosopher-562 said:

    What do you think of the traits that come to mind as you went through this journey of self actualizing .

    Spiral wizardry.

    Telling the truth.

    Being patient with yourself. 

    Awareness of one's devilry and self-deception.

    Willingness to lose old friends [as you change] and go periods of loneliness before gaining new friends.

    Seeing all sides to a problem, but choosing a solution that's the best-fit for the long-term health of the thing.

    Humbleness and paying mentors to hold your ass to the fire as you're facing deep fears.

    Pioneering something new even if it's not popular.

    Being yourself even if it's not popular.

    Having a strong sense of reality.

    Systems thinking.

    - - - 

    A couple leaders I look up to are Owen Cook and Bernie Sanders. I've met both of them each a few times. You can feel what they're about.

    I don't agree with everything they say, but they sure as hell lead.

    For each of these examples if you look up old footage of them (1970s Bernie, 2000s Owen), you see them passionately talking about unpopular causes they truly believed in, way before they were on anyone's radar.

    Great leaders are grown, not born. 

  8. Posted · Edited by WonderSeeker

    7 hours ago, PurpleTree said:

    Do you feel mentally better now after doing it for 400 times?

    Does the fear and pain of rejection diminish?

    Ya typical rejections mean nothing to me anymore. In fact some of them make me genuinely lol

    The only times it hurts is when chode guy friends jump in and talk shit or if I realize I said/did something super cringe even tho I knew it was wrong. 95% of people just go out with the same social circle so when they see a guy with balls approach their female friend, they shit talk him; what's really going on there is they're triggered cuz they would never have the balls to do it and so they feel that hurling insults will make them superior. Anyway...

    @kamill Stud.

  9. Posted

    1 hour ago, Spiritedness said:

    @WonderSeeker I assume many of the approaches went just fine and you got the number etc. and you met up with the girl too, it's just that you didn't get laid. That's VASTLY different from whether or not an approach is considered a 'success'. Getting laid from the girl you approached when on a date with her is on a different ballpark. Taking this into account your post is not too nihilistically discouraging, but us that wanna begin this journey should see this post as a stern message to start taking this SERIOUSLY. Please never give up and keep trying, I wish you the best my friend.

    Actually, you're right! I conveniently left out some moderate successes. 

    • last year in Mongolia I dated 5 women off Tinder and took 2 of them back to my hotel (made a really strong connection with this sweet, intelligent Japanese girl and we got down on all 4 dates)
    • I've had like 3 or 4 insta-dates from daygame
    • I pulled these 2 girls from nighttime in Miami but we didn't fuck, we just shared the bed (long story, don't wanna get into it lol)

    Ya, to people reading this who want to get into seduction but are wondering if it will produce any fruits , PLEASE DO NOT THINK THAT THIS IS ME SAYING THIS SHIT DOES NOT WORK. IT ABSOLUTELY DOES. It's just that it will 99.9% likely not be a linear progression of pure failure to pure success. It's a hero's journey, perhaps the most challenging one you'll ever have to embark like it is for me.

    37 minutes ago, Noahsteelers34 said:

    It should feel light and natural, with a small level of tension. 

    the other day I did this. I ended up going on a date with her, then taking her home and sleeping with her. 

    All of this dating content is doing more harm than good, as your interaction with a women is completely natural and intuitive. You don’t need to force yourself to go to a mall just to cold approach women. 

    Good point. But for people who don't have any requisite skill, you have to start somewhere to bust through early limitations. Then you can go more off intuition and stop conceptualizing attraction. Again, for some people this is a non-issue. Different people require different styles and levels of solution. 

    How the fuck SHOULD this feel "light and natural" for men who were socially/sexually traumatized early in life? Logically it makes perfect sense, but the emotional midbrain hasn't caught up yet. People who just "get it" will never understand. And that's fine, they don't need this advice.

  10. Posted · Edited by WonderSeeker

    13 hours ago, meta_male said:

    What made you think throwing money at some dude who teaches you to chase after girls is going to get you laid?

    Feedback. I don't need a coach to tell me to approach, I want to know what my blindspots are then course-correct. 

    13 hours ago, Norbert Somogyi said:

    Just make sure you don't evaluate your level of success based on laidcount. That is just a side-benefit that can potentially boost your morale if you handle it carefully. Otherwise it is your character that is supposed to be built on this journey.

    Thank you. That's a helpful point.

    @StarStruck I rarely watch porn.

    12 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

    1. Have you maximized your appearance? Gym and fashion would be your best friends here alongside good groming and even hair transplant if you need it (cannot tell). Looks are not the most important thing but they definitely make a difference, do not listen to PUA guys that think its just about your game.

    2. Do you have hang ups from your past? Deep trauma or inner issues? Limiting beliefs? Work on those on top of going out.

    3. Try daygame. Maybe your natural personality is better suited for it. At least that is the case for me and many people I know. Maybe you are a natural fish that is trying to swim in the desert. It does not work as well for him as swimming in the sea does. Maybe daygame is your sea.

    4. Try to do social stuff also. Go to meetups, gatherings, events etc and talk to everyone. Social circle is way more powerful than cold approach and it is how most guys get their partners. You will not get laid massively for it but you can defiantly find a partner from it.

    5. Persistence of course but you seem to have that in check which is very nice since it is the hardest thing.

    6. Getting coaching is not bad per say but first of all I would avoid RSD guys and just focus on learning some basic principles and applying it. Once you have good experience you can hire someone to see you and fine tune details but most of the work is you doing it and self reflecting. Leos videos should be all the theory you need.

    7. I have met PUA guys that do get girls sometimes but I ALWAYS notice that the ones that actually do well are really chill, natural and pleasant to talk to even as buddies. Meanwhile the ones that struggle, even if they do get laid have this weird over analytical almost autistic vibe around them which I find weird as fuck to be honest. If that is you try to change it. Just be yourself (cringe but it is mandatory).

    Final question: Why are you doing pickup? What are your reasons and motivations? Is there a deeper meaning behind it for you?

    1. Currently in the gym working on it. 

    2. Also working on that.

    3. Yes and no. 

    4. That's actually a good idea. I just moved cities so will look into that.

    5. Yep, the No Quit attitude is my foundation.

    6. Have you ever received coaching? 

    7. Ya, it's a progression. Part of it is social acuity and vibing, also dumping trauma energy. 

    I am doing pickup first and foremost to become a great leader and to develop deep inner peace and love for people and life. When I was younger I became massively jaded and distrustful of people and numbed myself to it all. To me, spirituality is laughably easy compared to this. If I can handle dating and attraction to a T then 80% of life will be solved for me. I guess that's why it's so challenging HAHAH.

    11 hours ago, flowboy said:

    You know what I did have success with?

    Talking to a girl whenever I was in the mood for it. Daytime, in the park, or just outside my house.

    Relaxed. Curious. No pressure.

    Here's what pickup guys don't realize: girls can feel it when guys had to psych themselves out and have this "fight" mentality.

    It feels weird and tense for the girl because they can feel the amount of pressure a guy is putting on himself.

    Coming from this "I'm so scared, it's the fight of my life" frame, you'll never come across as authentic.

    Nobody wants to get to know someone who is SO scared and pushing themselves SO hard to get to know you.

    Imagine that.

    Someone trying to be your friend who has this tense anxious vibe around him, every time you say something nice to him he freaks out. He's been writing affirmations and journal posts about his attempts to be your friend.

    It's weird :D

    I actually miss park daytime. As you know I'm now in Arizona where it's too hot for that kind of thing haha. Fall will be epic tho.

    Ya, shadow work is definitely a LARGE KEY in this. Let's do it.

    @ValiantSalvatore Cool man, ya I'm getting much more into physical escalation. I actually eskimo kissed a girl then pulled her out of the club, full compliance, less than 2 mins into the interaction. I'm far from being shy about making moves. It's just a matter of more reps and better calibration, reading the play, and being smooth. 

    I also have a high school friend who's a natural. I tell him "Dude you're fuckin hilarious, you have zero filter" and he's just like ya I guess. Does whatever he wants at the club, gets laid every other night. Some men are just born with it or had a good older brother that taught them. I had zero teaching combined with negative emotional programming regarding my sexuality as I grew up. So a lot of this is reversing a ton of bullshit.

    @Jacob Morres Facts. It's about who you become in the face of adversity.

    10 hours ago, universe said:

    You want to gradually transition to making going out fun. If you always think about it as hard, there is this pushing energy and you will exhaust yourself. Do it for the fun first, girls come later.

    For sure. The times where I had the most fun I got the best results. My sticking point is drawing state up from within. Takes time I guess.

    10 hours ago, mmKay said:

    Do you socialize throughout your day besides cold approach? How does your life look like?

    I'm just putting together my life in a new city so yes and no. I moved to a place with no friends so kinda working from scratch. I do Uber so I meet some people and network thru that.

    6 hours ago, Raze said:

    Are you doing some sort of trauma release and meditation to get into flow? If you have a lot of internal blockages and are stuck in your head your results will be bad. 

    how is your voice and tonality? If it’s not good do vocal exercises

    Ya I used to do loads of meditation right before getting into seduction. I actually would meditate 30-60 min daily. Gonna bring that back as it did make me more relaxed in general.

    6 hours ago, pablo_aka_god said:

    Also 300 approaches in 5 months is a great number! you kicked ass

    Thanks. When I first started I was nervous as fuck. Then I became chill and even enjoyed it late 2022 into early 2023. Now I've come full circle back to fear and anxiety. I think what's happening is I'm about to jump up another couple levels in the next few months. I'm breaking down old thought patterns and habits to jump into a new paradigm as I organize my energy and life.

    ___________________

    Thanks for the insights y'all ! :)

  11. Posted

    Pickup is not easy. In fact I believe its way harder than spirituality, lol. 

    I'm 25. I've already spent 10k in coaching (including 2 RSD bootcamps), done 400 cold approaches in 2 years (with 300 of them being in the last 5 months), and gotten laid 0 times. 

    Between July 2021 and now, my fear around going out and approaching was reducing, but shot back up in the past month (not sure why). My skill was plateauing and after just working with Jeffy infield, my game got worse. (Part of the natural progression??) 

    For the typical person, this would be sufficient grounds for quitting. 400 approaches, no intimacy, and now getting worse? Hell, I'm almost reluctant to post this as it might deter newbies. But proper expectations go a long way. 

    But here's the thing: I am not giving up, I'm only going to go harder. I've made it my goal to go out EVERY night and walk around the club area just to get in the habit of being out there without necessarily approaching. Then on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday try and get together with wings to go ham. 

    This is the only way. I'm scared at the soul level, but I've got to do it. It's the fight of my life. Who can relate?

     

  12. Posted

    On 8/1/2023 at 5:47 AM, Shakazulu said:

    I started pick up at 20 years old and I’m 24 now, in the last 4 years I’ve approached 400+ woman, I’ve learned a lot about myself, made huge improvements, had fun experiences, learned what I want from a relationship /what works for me and I believe the next step is getting in a successful monogamous relationship with a woman I love. 
    After doing pick up along with enlightenment work I realized that I struggled with romance earlier in my life because when I was 4 I was sexually abused. It made me grow up feeling unloveable.

    Kudos for getting into the arena and battling it out!

    I'm 25 and i've been doing pickup for a little over 2 years with about 400 approaches under my belt (~300 of them since April this year). I wasn't sexually abused, but sex and sexuality was something my parents declined to teach me and even shamed me for when they found me fooling around with a girl at like age 6. This event made me think I wasn't allowed to be sexual in any way and it fucked me up because it made me deny my craving for women and pussy in my life. Therefore I fell behind everybody in school in terms of experience. 

    It also got me envying and hating on anyone who displayed anything sexual throughout middle and high school. This problem of being able to physically and emotionally relate properly to the opposite sex for me is actually the motivation behind almost every decision I've made in my life up to this point. Kinda insane. 

    What are your biggest lessons following those 400+ approaches?

  13. Posted

    On 8/20/2023 at 4:34 AM, Leo Gura said:

    @RawJudah Of course the life experience is worth it. Especially if you do it in less touristy ways. The best would be actually living in lots of different places for some time. If you live in a very foreign place for a month, that will generate massive experience.

    @RawJudah I traveled and stayed in Mongolia for over a month. Best 6 weeks of my life. From learning to speak the language, to hiking Bogd Khan mountain which overlooks the capital city, to dating multiple girls, to meeting several nomads in the countryside, to camping and waking up to 1000/10 sunrises, to eating their unique and delicious cuisine, ya there's a lot to be gained. The touristy stuff i did was the least valuable. The main reasons i went was 1) for graduate research and 2) to date women on my off time.

    What are you specifically traveling for?? Your sounding unsure about your decision makes me believe you don't have a specific objective. What's important to you?

  15. Posted

    1 hour ago, r0ckyreed said:

    I am ready to start socializing more. I am wanting to work on talking to women and getting into “pick up.” By pick up, I don’t mean short term fun. I mean being able to attract many women and go on multiple dates and then choose the one I want.

    I live in a college town. I am 26 years old. I have had success with attracting women when it comes to me performing magic tricks for them. But I want to be able to do this through my cold reading and conversation skills.

    My main fear is talking to a woman but she has a boyfriend who is nearby. As a magician, I can do this easier because it is not obvious that I am “picking her up.” But without magic, I fear that when I talk to a woman, she may have a boyfriend and he may see me and try to kick my ass.

    I saw a beautiful woman walk into Aspen Coffee. I was going to try just to talk to her, but I noticed that she went to a guy who I presume to be her boyfriend. How do you guys go around this? I don’t want to get into any trouble. 

    Natural fear. Just approach and either she will go to him or he will come to her. And if that happens, you wish them a nice day in a natural way and move on. 

    It will feel weird at first, but it gets better. You can't let this stop you from approaching as you'll miss lots of opportunities.

  16. Posted · Edited by WonderSeeker

    Explained simply: How you experience yourself during your first trips (or low dose trips) is how you will, after enough development, experience yourself in normal waking life say 5-10 years down the line.

    Explained more in depth: Perceptions and sensations that you experience over the course of a trip (the way you feel, think, and relate to the world) are how you will perceive and sense reality as a baseline in the future if you do personal development / consciousness training properly and efficiently. 

    Ever since my first trips in 2019/20, I'd say the intelligent ways in which I thought/felt/functioned on the substance then are about 60% baseline, normal ways of functioning at present. 

    For example, on my first and second ever trips I tripped in my college apt. Not the perfect environ, but it did the trick. I experienced all kinds of visual distortions and enhanced sensations. For example, as I was eating the oven-baked pizza I watched the tomato sauce ooze out from a pocket in the dough and could literally feel it oozing, on top of the most vivid tomato taste ever. One of my friends and his girlfriend came over, and I got a super good read on their EXACT emotional states based on their facial/body language. 

    Today, objects look sharper 24/7, they have more of a vapor-like quality, dissolving the real/illusion boundary to a degree. When I concentrate, food tastes more real. I have a pretty good read on people based on how they hold themselves; less aspects or reality are taken as normal or 'whatever'. I can feel my mind's entanglement with the world more clearly. In the past it took a few mushrooms to get to all that. Now it's the norm.

    Psychedelics can show you where you're headed if you follow-up on it. :)

  17. Posted

    2 hours ago, CARDOZZO said:

    @WonderSeeker Thanks for recommending Zan!

    I'm watching this:

    He's great!! :D 

    Hell ya! I think he's just as good as Owen. They take different angles and have different teaching methods. Zan is more about metaphysical beauty.

    I think his latest 21 convention speech (2023) was even better, though this one is classic ZP. The alabaster girl is in my top 3 books of all time. It's gold, and he gives them away for free (minus shipping) on his website! Not sure if he's still doing that tho-

    https://arsamorata.com/about-the-alabaster-girl/

     

  18. Posted

    @CARDOZZO

    i can tell you're a comp sci by the way you touch your forehead :D

    yes speaking your truth is important, but usually when im at the club i inject more emotion into it and front the best parts about my nerddom. creates good narratives!

    yeah Owen is great, went out with him in Miami this year and it was psycho. also love Zan Perrion although he doesn't market himself on YT much so people don't know about him

    have you heard of the alabaster girl?

  19. Posted

    @SeaMonster green transcends and includes orange. no contradiction if the green person still wants to do science. what chages is they are more open-minded, take on a systems-approach, and want to collaborate with people of different demographics (diversity/inclusion stuff). there are religious people who are above blue. likewise there are scientists who are green and beyond. they're just rarer. and they question/self-doubt more because they know they are assuming a lot and have self-bias. i worked with these people, so I'm speaking from experience. have you?

  20. Posted

    On 7/12/2023 at 3:39 AM, something_else said:

    Oh shit, Mongolia is on my list of places to visit funnily enough! How was it? Do you have any recommendations?

    And thank you for the encouragement :D

    Both my parents are encouraging it lol, it's my voice. It's pretty quiet but I do notice that a bit of doubt creeps in here or there.

    Mongolia was incredible. Simply the best 6 weeks of my life (I'm age 25). I can tell you about it in depth, PM me. Sending this from Alaska on a crappy WiFi connection :P

  21. Posted

    8 hours ago, Mileyofpink said:

    So, my question is should i work on absolutely and completely forgiving the people who have caused such ugliness, dirtiness and wreck in my life? Or is that too idealistic?

    You gotta understand that a lot of the ugliness that the world produces is systemically-created. 

    Green sort of understands this with their notions of 'systemic racism' and the like. But they don't take it's implications far enough, nor do they have enough perspective to see that a lot of issues are individual/group egos fighting with each other up-and-down a chain of human worldviews, and that the only way to eradicate these at their root is to raise the consciousness of all these people to Tier II.

    A task that yellow is sympathetic toward, because the yellow person understands that raising ones (and especially others!) consciousness is so goddamn difficult, both in theory and in personal experience. So what you want to do is to forgive the evil people, and hold them accountable as well.

    Here's what I mean:

    • existensional acceptance = forgive the existence of the being/group's bad behavior and their ignorance that caused it (they just didn't have enough perspective)
    • practical non-acceptance = in practice, we want to hold the being/group accountable (place limits/boundaries on them until they grow to be trusted and re-integrated into your life or society)

    It's like a mix of blue law and green sympathy. Yellow integrates them.

    And in your specific case if these people do not change, cut them off from your life entirely. And if you're never going to see them again anyways, then you might have some trauma work to do if you have scars.

  22. Posted

    @something_else not just backpacking, but travel in general. that's the power of it: you meet other open-minded, interesting individuals seeking expansion. a year ago I was in Mongolia for graduate research, and in just a couple weeks I went on like 10 dates, made a couple strong friends, and developed a new love for life. doors opened in a flash

    So, if you've got the money, go back and meet more people. Hell, what are you asking us for?!

    On 7/6/2023 at 1:39 PM, something_else said:

    It is something I've completely set my mind on doing, but at the same time there is a part of me that is viewing this as me wasting every penny I have saved up on a year long holiday that isn't going to provide me any actual long term value.

    ^ is this your voice, or a parent? you know goddamn well that there is a chance at long-term value here; you basically said it yourself in this post. if anything, cut the travel to just 3 months. then you'll still have some money to fall back on. 

  23. Posted

    12 hours ago, Rishabh R said:

    @WonderSeeker Great story. By the way I am also trying to become a scientist, a biotechnologist right now I am in college studying biotechnology engineering. Also like understanding science also requires a questioning mind.

    ^ right on! do your science but also notice the limits of academia and how your field has an effect (pos/neg) on different aspects of your life. then develop some original perspective on the matter (how the social system can be improved, what your field overlooks, new syntheses, etc.). that's basically what I've done. 

    @Epikur ya that's somewhat the idea for the next few years. my field is cool because companies fly you to their mines all over the world, so I intend to work in Australia by late 2024 and visit southeast Asian countries to do more seduction, exploring, etc.