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About Joshi3

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  • Birthday 02/02/2001

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  1. @SgtPepper oh yeah that was a crazy trip. Hella visuals. It felt like I was creating the all the emotions and colors there were. A few months later on an acid trip the duality of other and self collapsed and that was "my" first glimpse into awakening.
  2. @SgtPepper the otherside?? Do tell. I have had mushroom trips on almost 6gs and reality changed, felt, and looked ways I never thought possible. Like an empire of the sun music video. It's like the emotional range of EVERY emotion was risen. It felt like I had never lived life up until that point. I have this concept of the other side. That it is like if life became a music video. It felt like I was on all the molly in the world while at disneyland, while I can make ANY feeling possible. Like it felt TOO good
  3. can you run down what it was like for you? @d0ornokey
  4. Bro exactly like me too. I have pure O too. For me it feels like thoughts about the most negative shit is glued to my mind sometimes. I have a meditation to recommend to you. It's my twist on Shinzen Youngs meditation. Instead of being mindful, which for me leads to even more compulsion I do nothing. So what you do is set a timer for 5-10 minutes. Then in this time frame don't do anything. Shinzen Young has you do nothing when you start to think but I recommend not even that. Just sit and wait for the timer to end. And if you start to think and think eventually the thinking will just give out. what happens for me is at first Is I think about when the timers gonna end, random stuff, my feelings about anything, OR stuff from my subconscious like old emotions and world views. What happens once you're in is you're going to notice even more you are thinking. Don't let this off put you at first. Because the thoughts will come and be thought and go away. And what will happen after at least for me is I have to ACTIVELY think the thoughts. And if they come back just repeat, some thoughts go away and you feel a complete new level of good, or they will come back and you will feel better AND they won't be as strong. ALL you have to do is sit and wait for the timer to end. The good feelings will come automatically. And the thinking will switch. Instead of the thoughts thinking you. You're thinking the thoughts.
  5. @purerogue could you explain more? I have times where it felt like there was no free will. Then I’ve had times where I feel like I am everything and that I can do anything
  6. @RevoCulture ironically the more it’s accepted I actually forget . Looking back any moment I had that was grand in life I wasn’t focused on whether I could control it. Life was just happening
  7. So free will many of you know is illusionary. But since this is the world of non duality all opposites unite. So is determinism paradoxically the ultimate form of control of your life? Letting go completely of EVERYTHING? As there is no control over everything. I could see how this ultimate letting go can lead to reduced “negative” emotion therefore actually making life better getting the desired result. Is putting your life in the universes hands actually the best way to have a life?
  8. @erik8lrl ok I’m going to take a HUGE break and I feel like after weeks everything will sort of calm down.
  9. @Inliytened1 it’s just crazy there is no freedom to do anything.
  10. @Raptorsin7 everything was starting to get better then I found out there is no free will and now the burden just doubled. I barely eat at all probably like a meal that’s sizeable. I just don’t get hungry or have desire to eat. And then the ocd takes over saying there is no way to control anything. And I lost my job. Everything was good before all this spiritual stuff. Life had this spark and glow to it. I was making money going out with friends actually building something up then I got interested in non duality and boom
  11. @Raptorsin7 I used to enjoy music, being with friends, working, books, video games, I used to ride around my town. But since all of this life has felt so lack luster.
  12. @Serotoninluv no that makes it 50 times worse
  13. @Raptorsin7 all of this feels unforgettable. And the whole no free will just messes with my mind even more cuz it feels like I can’t do anything
  14. @Raptorsin7 ever since learnings life was a dream it just spiraled down words after that.