Sandhu

You say it as if suffering is something that can be used willingly. Don't put your self-esteem on how much you suffer abd grow by it. You could always grow better by other means. Sufferig is a curse. Yet it is a way to appreciate the infinite intelligence of an infinite mind.

Undergoing high degree of physical or psychological or emotional pain usually for an extended period of time.

Suffering is when you're helpless about a situation and you can't avoid it by any mean.

You don't choose to suffer. It's God inflicted. That's is suffering.

Suffering isn't good or healthy. No one likes it or it's not suffering. If you're asking whether you can be at ease while having any type of suffering or not. The answer is not simple. You can get use to anything (I've become to being poor). You can manipulate yourself to create meaning out of your suffering. But it doesn't really change how you feel. Ultimately you have to clench your teeth, bear it and work to better your situation.

It's a movie scene, not reality. In real life, perhaps only one in thousands would lay his life for his pride. Reality is more harsh, raw and nuanced than ideals and imagined scanarios.

She needs professional help. Her mental state can't be helped with advice. She must seek professional help. She is in very bad perpetual victim and helpless state.

@StarStruck what business you are into?

Good news for me : A friend of mine told me that he know someone who has a decent job for me. I'll join in a week. Thanks for all the support and advice. I'll be working this manual work job in a factory and along with it will be learning some specialized skill so I could work freelance part-time. I never ever shared my internal state of affairs with anyone as I have this internalized toxic shame ( concept from no more mr.nice guy book). This community is a safe place to seek help. I encourage you to share your problems here. No one will judge you weak and pathetic and Leo will not ban you (if you have that fear like me)

@Ropuch7 Thanks brother! There are of course thousands things to do. what's killing me is this very very desperate time, I need to act quickly to really provide food for my family. I feel such a loser to have wasted my time already.

@MarkKol thanks man, It's a very powerful and helpeful message for me.

Dear sister, they are not complaining nor I'm violating any guidelines. I'm just pushing them for further nuances. Why you act on others behalf

Aren't they exceptions? Not really practical to look for such jobs. Why would someone pay him that much If HE is easily replaceable and job not really requires much speciality.

@Princess Arabia you rather come across judgy and very softy type but anyways you probably want unnesseccary drama which I don't

@Thought ArtI completely understand and appreciate your opinion. But when challenges arise such as mine , it ain't help to find love in little things. You need to be ruthless with yourself in the pragmetic world. If you don't have emotions that are burning your soul to change, what gonna cause you to move your ass?