JonasVE12

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  1. The key to getting good is knowing how to get yourself in a flow state. If you have done pick-up and gone out socialising, you probably know what a flow state feels like. It's where you are fully present and embodied with self-confidence and open energy. Also sexual energy. You subconsciouly also feel abundant in this state. Like there are endless opportunities. To get good is to consistently hit these states until they become easier and easier to access, and when you can access them almost instantly. The more you make approaching a consistent practice, the more relaxed you become, the more unattached you'll be, the easier you hit a flow state. You'll never feel needy and attached in a flow state. You'll feel abudant. One interaction that is better than your subconscious expectations can pull you up and create positive momentum and then you are in a upward spiral that will bring you right to the peak of a flow state. You'll experience a chain reaction of positive reactions. The more negative emotions you release around approaching women, the easier the flow states happen. It all happens through consistency. That's the key. You need to give your nervous system the neccessary input of energy and also the time for it to permanently rewire.
  2. It's very difficult to grow when you are not having any fun and everything feels like a chore. For me personally, building the ability to be social and connecting with people has grown me the most and this has kickstarted my self-development proces. Maybe it's the same for you, the chances are high, but for me, I was always stuck in self-development just like you, just because I didn't enjoy what I was doing. Deep down I wanted to have friends, have life experiences involving people and being connected. Without that, I was just like you being stuck where I was, trying to build something but never progressing as I didn't fulfill my deepest desire first. I was focussing on things that weren't important to me at the time. Trying to build a career, do a prestigious study and eventually everything would fall in it's place so I thought. It was basically just escapism and distraction. I was also trying to build positive reinforcing habits, but everything from the comfort of my own home. It didn't work. Building habits is good, but when you are not really leaving your comfort zone at all, you are not growing and you'll stay in this loop. See if you develop yourself so you can have a lot of positive social experiences, you start to gain a sense of self-esteem and power from that, that you automatically get a lot of energy and inspiration from. Your life trajectory becomes a lot clearer as you start to build this sense of personal power and self love. You mention it yourself that you have struggles socially. Let's say you could build an abudant social life where people just show up in your life. everyday you have people to surround yourself with. Inspiring people that give you energy. And also abundant experiences with women, etc. If you can fulfill those needs first, wouldn't you be a lot happier and have a better base to grow from? I can't imagine you have the energy and consistent motivation to keep building your life like you are now (Doing the study, the habits etc) when you are not having any fun at all? Social ability is one of the pillars of self-development. We as people subconsciously use other people as a mirror to assess our own self worth and when you have no social ability at all, of course you feel shitty and your social life will suck. You have a lot of emotional blockages from that that keep you stuck in other areas because your baseline of joy and happiness is too low to motivate you to do other things. My biggest tip would be to surround yourself with people who inspire you. Could be a coach or people that are also trying to gain social skills. I like the concept of momentum. Once you feel those good emotions, you can build on them. But you have to really get out of your comfort zone and face the tension you have been avoiding all your life and you'll know what you have been avoiding when you think deeply. Once you build the momentum, you'll feel inspired, emotional blockages will go away and then things can start to manifest in your life. You'll no longer subconsciouly push those things away. They will come to you. Maybe travel for a year with someone who will motivate you and hold you accountable.
  3. Because you were and are deprived of love from your peers and family. The key to turning this around is gaining so much positive reference experiences that fill you up in love and from that, gaining a personal sense of power so you feel like you can create your own reality how you want it to be. Then automatically a lot of these patterns will go away.
  4. You need a more body based perspective to look at this stuff more clearly. You can do a good approach when you experience fear, but it's about not letting that fear own you and becoming reactive to it. It's about not shutting of the energy flow throughout your heart, pelvis and legs so all energy is in your head. That's nervous energy out of reactivity. That's what turns off women. 2 guys who experience fear when approaching women can have 2 different reactions. for one guy she can get attracted, and by the other guy she'll be creeped out. It's about how those guys handle that tension (fear). Meaning how their nervous system proccesses it. Do they ground the tension out into the earth and become present? Or do they get up their head? It's not fear that turns off women. When you experience fear when approaching women, but you can show up in the midst of that and be like 'yeah I'm nervous, but fuck it, I still show up', that's attractive. You need a grounded energy instead of reactive fearful energy. In your story you write that you have problems relating to people and being social. When you go up to people and talk about the things you mentioned, of course you're not coming off well calibrated. You can only pull that of if you are completely in the zone, confident, embodied and present. If that was your first approach of the night and you're still somewhat in your head, then yeah... Maybe next time be a bit more relatable at the start of your night and when you get more into a flow state, then you can do more risky stuff. Usually if you suck at socialising, you need to think about how you can take smart consistent action on a daily basis so you can gradually build up your ability to be social. It can start wherever you feel you are stuck. If you suck at being social all around, then start doing the following exercise for a month and see how it improves your emotional embodiment. The exercise is called '100 hi's'. It's something they practice at the fearless man. Say 'hello' to 100 people you cross on the street and practice opening your body and grounding your energy. When you are not embodied, you should receive almost no reply from those strangers. If you are though, almost 90% will say hello back or smile. If you are really really embodied, then lots of people will want to start talking to you. If you can do this, you'll learn lots about subtilities of subcommunication and you'll know how to transfer this to approaching women.
  5. It's entirely impossible to say what you do wrong man. It's all in the way you're being when engaging other people that determines whether people receive you well or not. There's a level of communication that underlies all of what you're saying and that is related to your level of emotional embodiment. It's about what emotions you feel inside yourself and how they transfer onto other people. You should surround yourself with people who have this down and preferably get coaching. I recommend 'the fearless man' workshops which are all about fixing your emotional embodiment issues. For people to receive you well, you need to have different aspects in place such as grounding, open heart, turn-on energy which comes through the pelvis. When you have these 3 in place, what you say matters a lot less. People start to pull into you more and you can say ridiculous stuff and that won't turn them off.
  6. It doesn't take that long for me to have a good intuition about whether or not she possesses those qualities. I get that feeling of connection almost instantly or not at all. It's not that I'm logically asking questions and going down my list. Rather I feel her emotions when we talk about subjects relevant to the values I'm subconsciously screening for. For example I'll tell stories and see how she reacts and from her response I can tell if she is into the subject or not and then I'll ask relevant questions and hear what she thinks etc. Pretty quickly you'll start to form a hollistic view of who she is and if you like that view, then good, we can explore each other more. Not that difficult when you are good at meeting women. You have to get good at approaching so you'll meet lots of women. If you only meet women through social circle or opportunities that passively came to you, then the probability is a lot lower than when you actively try to meet women.
  7. I like a woman who knows herself, who is adventurous, who likes to explore and experiment with life. Someone who likes to travel and get out there. Someone who has a spiritual side as well, who is open to meditation and exploring consciousness. Someone who I sporadically can smoke weed with or have a drink. Someone who doesn't take things too serious. Light hearted and knows how to have fun. Great sense of humor and empathy. Someone who is social and can easily connect with people. I like a woman who is confident. Have to be independant and have their own life. So no clingy behavior. I value physical beauty highly and can not get attracted if I don't find them physically attractive. I mostly like eastern european women and have almost exclusively been in relationships with women from that part of the world.
  8. Highest quality wingmen are to be found in Hidden facebook groups of RSD related products. Julien has a free facebook mastermind group as well which is great for this purpose. The fearless man has a Hidden facebook group as well. There's also WhatsApp groups in probably every country and major city with many active guys who game regularly. Just gotta Explore the internet a bit and connect with People. Facebook is great for this. Just search there and you'll find something which gets the ball rolling. Best groups are paid though in the sense that they are a bonus value for when you buy one of the Company's products or attend their events.
  9. Find a good wingman online and meet up in person with him to go approach women and build a friendship out of that. You can build great friendships with those guys because right from the start you have some common values. When I started approaching women, I hired a coach to go on a trip with me for a month and paid him money. We became good friends on the trip. We're soon going to do a 6 month trip to different countries to explore life purpose, seduction and spirituality more. It's important when it comes to becoming succesful in a given area that you surround yourself with people who are already some steps further than you on the path you're trying to walk. Especially if you have a lot of heavy feelings that currently push the thing away that you are trying to work towards. Working with another person who is already succesful offers a container that makes it a lot easier. The only thing you have to do is to show up. I would have never taken the steps neccessary if I didn't hire my friend for that period. I have done stuff on that first trip that I would have never done before. All because I let myself be guided by him and that way got put in situations that gave me the opportunity that I needed. Then you start to build momentum and things start to shift quickly in your emotional state. You start to manifest a lot of crazy things at a very fast speed. The trap is to not become dependant on your accountability partner or coach. You have to become self reliant in the end. For me that was a huge trap because only could I take action when my coach was around. It took effort to break way from that but thanks to the momentum, it was possible. So I suggest you try to meet up with like minded people and see if it's possible to build something long term. Don't force it. You have to offer value in some way or the other. The only reason my friend and I went on that initial trip is because I paid him money. That's value. That gave him a reason to spend time with me and be my container. Then the value dynamic changed from economical to just a genuine connection. You can try paying a coach money and going on a trip and then that's a stable base for something to grow out of that. Just remind that no one is going to want to be in such a relationship with you if the only thing you offer is needing and getting value and not offering it. Especially if you're lower on the emotional scale than that other person, it becomes more difficult to offer value by just being yourself as by the natural law of attraction between people.
  10. Nights when you feel very heavy emotionally turn out to be the best nights for me. So much growth can happen on these nights. Go to the club, sit somewhere and let all your stories and beliefs come up and surrender to them. Accept how they feel in the body and ground your energy out into the earth. Then take action from this grounded place. No matter if you got rejected, celebrate that you transformed fear into courage. This is a neccessary building block for becoming better with women. It's training yourself to step into tension. You're training your nervous system to have a different relationship with fear. When you do this often, you become more embodied with those higher emotions and your self-esteem and self-worth naturally rises as you approach more. You'll let go of more and more stories the longer you do it. Take control over your will and take conscious action. Even if you didn't approach anyone and felt bad the whole night, you still went out which forced you to get triggered. That gives you emotions to release on for the next time to go better. Have patience as well. Shit doesn't come overnight.
  11. I'm in sales. All I can say is the following... Know the ins and outs of your product. Think of all ways it will benefit your costumers life. talk more about benefits rather than features. What does a feature say more than the feature itself? How does that feature relate to the costumer? How will it benefit him? On of the most important things for me is being in the flow when I'm selling. If I talk to the costumer and I'm in my head, automatically I'll get a no. When I'm completely in the zone, when I'm confident, expressive and connecting to the costumer emotionally, then I have more chance of persuading him to buy. What I'll do is that I joke around a lot with the other person. I'll make them feel good, have a laugh and don't be very serious. Then I'll talk about the product and I'll make it seem I'm 'giving'. I'm doing that person a favour. Also you have to screen clients. Especially when you sell such an expensive product.
  12. Get good at connecting with everyone on an emotional level. Feeling open & heart centered. Try to become good at flowing in converations with people and creating a bubble/container where you are very connected to each other and sharing good vibes. Vibes should be playful, fun, light hearted, dynamic and conversations have to be relatable and relevant to their personal experience. People are first of all emotional creatures that need to feel your emotions and experience emotions in your presence. If you are good at doing this, people will be a lot more open to 'take you in' and build a connection with you that is more expansive and exploratory. Then automatically, you'll start to build friendships with people you resonate with when you have this skill. You have to find people with shared values in order to build deep friendships. There's a low chance that a random stranger shares your values. You have to find places and opportunities where the probability is much higher. Like for example, when you like playing guitar - where would you look to find like minded people? Or if you would learn to attract women? There's communities for everything. If you like breathwork, psychedelics, and spirituality, then find groups relating to this topic. If you like Jiu jitsu? Join a club. It's not that hard. But you have to make sure that you have no emotional baggage that keeps you from connecting to strangers in an authentic way. So become good at talking to that old lady at the bus stop. When you see a little baby or child, stop for a second and try to connect with the little child. Make weird faces and make them laugh. Become good at making people feel good in general. You'll feel good in return, and people will want to start talking to you. They will not even want to stop talking to you.
  13. Take the psychedelic and go outside, leave your shoes at home and go meet strangers. Go into the trip with the intention of facing your resistance to meeting strangers. I did LSD myself in public in a very busy shopping street and man, it was the best trip of my life. It was scary at first. I didn't want to leave my house in the beginning and held on to the safety and comfort of my hotel room. Nobody could see me there so they couldn't judge me. It felt safe. But I knew I had to go outside to really integrate and embody all I had been reading about. To really feel the non duality between me and other people. So then I took the leap and went outside. Resistance = I do it. That was the intention of my trip. I felt resistance to telling those 3 sexy women walking towards me that I would have sex with them so I did. And they reacted so positive. I never expected that there was so much freedom in being vulnerable. You receive so much in return. So many positive emotions. I met some amazing people, had deeper conversations I ever had with people, met sexy women and shared intimacy, hugged homeless people, made small childeren smile, shared so many good vibes and had the most amazing moments. I could authentically feel and express emotions that were previously blocked by self shame and doubt. And after every interaction I could go to a tree and ground all my energy into the earth. It's like food for them. Every time I would become more grounded and embodied. You can do this too. A trip in isolation can be beautiful, but shame and anxiety in relationship to meeting people rarely heals by itself. It's mostly through getting out there and confronting your resistance and realising that you're more powerful than you intially thought.
  14. Lol, funny story I went to Budapest for some weeks with a friend last month, and we found out madison was doing a bootcamp there. We then tricked madisons sales man into thinking we wanted to join Madison's bootcamp in Budapest. But actually we just wanted to know where they were going to meet up so we could observe and troll them. An observer spot is like 1.3k so we basically got it for free. We then went to the meet up location at the start of the bootcamp and acted like we were on the bootcamp lol. There were like 12 guys in total. Madison and 1 instructor. 10 students. Eventually we had to go away but observed them from a distance. The students were just told to approach without too much interaction with the coaches. It was only like 4 hours coaching a day and no nightgame. Madison and the instructor were just walking around and sometimes joining their sets. Some students reported that it's way overpriced and you're not really getting much value. The group energy is good though and it motivates you. There's almost no personal attention. You're better of finding a good wingman. Make friends with people who are also learning game. That's key imo. We went to the club at night with a student who was on that bootcamp and he also reported that there's not much value in doing the bootcamp. And I can see why. I mean, Madison and the instructor were just walking around in circles wearing their sunglasses, enjoying the 25k they earn from the weekend, while the students were sent off to approach..
  15. Changing how your nervous system responds takes time and consistent positive action. Change your relationship to fear through changing how you relate to your body. Embodiment takes time. With time, you'll release more and more fear and transfer this into courage. You climb higher on the emotional scale and get more into courage, acceptance and peace. Stay commited to the journey. Love the fear. Don't identify with it. Feel the energetic flow in your body and allow the sensations to be and take action despite of it. That's courage. The body is the gateway to creating a positive relationship to fear.