Optimized Life

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  1. Hmm I have a Second Question Here is common scenario : I have good talk with girl outside club, maybe we even make out But I can't pull because logistics, the friend ect... I get her number I text her the DAY AFTER "What are you doing today, wanna meet up?" ect.. Every time they Never meet up with me and always just say they're busy How should I change this? Text a few days later instead of next day? (E.g 2 days later) Instead of texting "wanna meet up / are you free?" Something else? Like "I am free on wednesday at 7-9PM, want to meet up then?" Also, if I made out with the girl and she seemed DTF (but couldbn't come home cos of logistics and the friend or soemthing) Does that give me free pass to invite her straight over to my place that week, or do I still need to do proper date like with day game?
  2. Once every 2 weeks seems wayy to big a gap. I would think 1/2 times per week minimum or she forgets you exist and another guy is boning her.
  3. I slept with a girl and she seemed to like me But then I texted her inviting her to come over yesterday She responded saying she had to work ... But she didn't follow up with another text like "Hey How about we meet up tomorrow or hey I'm free on tuesday" So is it bad for me to ask her to come over again (the next day after asking her) because it's too needy or ruins the power dynamic? Or am I allowed to drop my game after having sex once? Can I just ask a girl out twice in a row do I still need text game
  4. This guy's grift is nothing but raw extroversion, marketing and charisma, which he is undeniably a master at and I genuinely admire his intelligence in that regard. But he has said so much dumb and toxic shit and is so dogmatic and opinionated it's ridiculous. Making it in youtube is not about the quality of your information or content, but how convincing, entertaining charismatic you are, and how brutal you are at marketing and hijacking peoples attention. Hamza mastered all this, so I can't exactly say he doesn't deserve his success, but his impact is pretty toxic just like the majority of youtubers out there who just waste your time which repetitive clickbait and unfounded dogmatic nonsense. 1. Dating and socialization will absolutely grow you as a man arguably more than anything else will, it can be risky, it can break you make you worse or lead to suicide, but like many things nothing easy or safe will give you the biggest gains. 2. The majority of guys including myself, find it much, much harder to concentrate on work and motivate ourselves if we haven't had sex in weeks or months, and have no sex or human connection to look forward to in the evening, and feel lonely and unsatisfied. Likewise this also applies to having ecno friends and being a loner, and most people are at least ambiverts or in the middle so lack of friendship should be treated like a serious disease. But of course lack of women and friends are connected, not direct causation however strongly correlated because if you are seeing women most likely you are meeting more people and in turn should have more friends too, and nothing is more powerful than support, encouragement, connection, brotherhood, and then add on top of that great women in your life, social confidence, feeling masculine, not being needy, it's all a killer combination and absolutely will trickle down into other areas of life like business or public speaking, maybe you don't care, but I know myself and there's nothing more powerful drug than this. This unrealistic idea of "just focus on yourself for years and then become a millionaire and girls will come to you, simply doesn't work for MOST guys like myself, I CAN get myself to work despite the pain, but it is a lot harder and less likely, I have to force myself and really push myself, whereas if you know a nice girl is coming over you feel more motivated to make money, you are free of the heavy and dense emotions and probably won't be endlessly scrolling through porn, Instagram or tinder or even distraction yourself with lower pleasures like food or alcohol to compensate. 3. EVEN IF you could just work on the business for years and go without women and it worked, you still fucking just missed years of your life enjoying the some of the greatest joys of life that there is, why not try to enjoy your life throughout your life rather than "once I'm successful", which could take longer than you hoped and then you would seriously regret. I am still quite young but I have some serious about giving up on dating in for months or years in my 20's, I got bitter and didn't have the pickup mindset and got really red pill "I gave up focusing on women because ... I'll focus on women when I have the money", this turned out to be toxic for me and ironically not scratching that itch sooner may have held me back from winning at business, led to more self sabotage, addictions, bad spending habits and bad decisions. 4. The best thing I learnt from personal development is that success if fucking relative. I don't give a shit what Leo thinks or anyone else on here, the only metric for me winning and feeling proud is living how I want to live. And personally I want lots of experience with women, and relationships of all types, I want girlfriends and one night stands simultaneously and I want sex 2/3 times per day, and fun dates and deeper relationships too and everything in between. And I'll do all that while making good cash without becoming bill gates, steve jobs or Hamza, because I don't care and don't want their life.
  5. Once again. Feel awful inside. Feel terrible. Feel completely alone again, back to square one all again. I have to keep working hard. I can't change the cards I was dealt, but this life is just awful, only through work will I escape, being depressed will only sink me deeper, and I know where that leads, I have to achieve sexual abundance, I have to believe that I am capable and worthy, I have to b]elieve that I don't need a bigger jaw or dick, I can't let those thoughts permeate my mind. I can't tell myself I lack intelligence to become wealthy, or that I have blown my chances, or that I Just wasn't born to be a socially desirable human, I can't allow these thoughts. I can't allow the thought that I was destined to be an average dude, stuck in the losing end of the pyramid scheme. It's difficult, and with every failure and rejection self esteem becomes harder, but I have to play the numbers game, time is running out, I have to pick myself up, I don't know if I'll come back from a rut this time if I sink too deep, the regret and may push me over, I may not be the smartest or brad pit, but I was definitely wired for ambition. I can't allow the negativity to repress my natural burning ambitio/n. repressing strong innate qualities leads to severe problems and unhappiness. My ambition is more of a hollistic "ambition". I don't really want to become a billionaire, just a Mid - high 6 figure - millionaire with a great social life and dating life and a flexible remote work schedule , and that combination in perfect harmony. I'd say that's more ambitious then the typical billionaire millionaire, who is paying for prostitutes, working 90 hours a week and stuck in an office. I want to just get to straight 7 across the board, and then work my way up from there if needed. but I only really care about getting the dating/social to above a 7, everything else can stay 7, money 7, career 7, but dating and social life 10/10, status 10/10, power 10/10, game 10/10, and tesost'erone 10/10 sex drive 10/10, humour 10/10, charisma 10/10, leadership 10/10. style dress 10/10, day game 10,10 night game 10,10, social circle 10/10, persuasion 10/10, voice 10/10 communication 10/10 online profile 10/10
  6. And here is the massive catch with alcohol, I feel like a useless zombie the next day. Everything is so much heavier and harder. But my chances of pulling were increased, and if that led to a girlfirend or continous sessions you could justify it. But drinking and then not pulling, and then not having drive next day, and seeing how shit your face looks, and thinking about how less handsome and fresh you look compared to 5 years ago but back when you didn't have any game but were a health freak, all for nothing. And then thinking how your business failed once again and the new lucrative jobs not even gauranteed to work out because the boss isn't messaging me back and he hasn't even paid me for last week, and then thinking about how round my face is and how bad my skin looks now from years of stress and going on the computer and rough nights and negative emotions. And thinking about about how disorganized and aimless you feel and it's very hot outside so that's tiring and then how you lost all your credit cards and lost the bluetooth headphones that I need to listen to positive music and audio motivation and that's gone and how I put 2/3 years into a business venture and it just never worked out and how even a girl I managed to finally pull and fuck from a day game set last week who's super feminine and invested but also insecure but was easy to game even her I may have put her off by over complimenting over text and killing the tension and so I don't even have her. and how i can't manage my expenses and I keep paying these stupid subscriptions I didn't realize I still have like some weird spotify alternative and amazon when I'm not using it and societys just taking my money and we still live in a capitalistic wild west and I'm not capabal of surviving in this world because I'm a weak, undecuated and unqualified man. FUCK.kmsdfk/ No jaw line and disappointing dick size, facade of being rich through a couple nice outfits, don't even have a wingman, can never find one when I do find them life gets in the way very fast they gotta go. Maybe life is just 90% genetics and luck. Round fucking face with no jaw, used to think I was attractive, most important feature I dont have. Maybe i'm just wasting my time with game. /.
  7. posting here again now because I'd only want to post this anonymously so : Yesterday I drank alcohol to get in state and I was pretty confident and funny ; it's a clutch yes, but most guys are so low level that they can't even get that when they're drinking. So it worked and I was chatting up girls, got some numbers and it felt amazing, even made out with a girl. But then my game wasn't strong enough and I didn't have a single wing on my side so I couldn't pull. And now all those leads no response on my phone. And now I'm left with nothing I also feel tired obviously from drinking and just feel stuck once again. Yes I can go approach more but I really went for it yesterday, just still didn't get the pull even though I hooked twice, it's pretty much mostly because I have a wing, which I have zero control over, due to my finances and I can't just constantly travel to get wings like that, I can't always have a wing every time I go out, but it pains me because so many times a girl will be down but the logistics like she's with a friend and you're not it's over. And she won't text you back next it's over, if it didn't happen right there. And this is so fucking below my mimimum standard I can't take it. I can't take not getting laid every single day with different women let alone just not having any options for that week. It's not about getting laid once but about having a stream of interested women and options that I need. The truth is money and lack of freedom to just get a flight somewhere new wherenever I want or live in a hotel right by some party strip where I can easily find wings and dtf girls, that would solve over 50% of the issue, but because of my lack of social and sexual results I can't concentrate enough to ge't the money, so it's a catch 22 which I've been trapped in for about a decade . Negative blackpill thoughts coming back now and I'm feeling insecure about my not so square jaw, mediocre cock size and lack of strong education. Nor am I experienced or competent at sex, nor do I even know any sexual vocabulary, or anatomy for that matter, I'm just undeducated full stop and inexperienced. It's really difficult to hold this player frame when I know all this deep down, but sometimes I can fake it and it works very well in the moment for hooking the girls, but I can never close them anyway, 50% of the time due to bad game or neediness or ruining the interaction, killing the tension. 50% or more of the time just due to logistics, no wingman or her friends in the way Even when I hook holding player frame also It hurts because I know it's all a facade, I know I am practically worthless in truth. And girls are always telling me they're busy, like on a fucking sunday. It hurts my masculinity, I should be busy for them, I can't take these distorted dynamics. I need to flip the power dynamics, I always feel like I'm chasing them and it fucking sucks, this doesn't meet my mimium standard, like with income or numnber of girls fucked per week, I have a mimium qualitiative standard for my life and interactions should be, and I@m not talking about being an arsehole and dumping women left and right and ignoring them like a psycho, but I want a life where they're wanting to get me to come out, to come fuck them, they're hitting up my line, I need that lifestyle and I deeply crave that status and validation, I have no shame about it, It feels awesome and floods the brain and body with dopamine & serotonin, and leads to me doing more work and eventually that may mean more value generated to society as I will work harder and access more creative parts of the brain, well maybe that's all bullshit, but the former point that life is just qualititaively way better is undeniable.
  8. I don't want to journal on here any more. Journalling is very good for me and potentially lucrative (both financially and overall life/PD gains) But only IF I use it right. I am going to transition more to : 1. Completely personal journal using commonplace books (Obsidian one note Excel sheets ect..) 2. Conversion of all the gold onto a blog / website or youtube videos which are potentially monetizable I believe that this would be a really fun process, and even if I don't make a single $ out of it, I would still gain a lot anyway. I believe this is not the right medium for me, but I keep using this because it's a lot easier to keep doing stuff the same way than to change things up and experiment, demanding an exertion of effort. But it's those most adaptable to change, and willing to embrace change that win. I resonate with creatives, inventors, lateral thinking. So time to get lateral. This is my last and final post. I may post occasionally, but sparingly.
  9. The truth : I must cherish all that I have to win at life. I am intellectually curious and ambitious But I am not that smart, not at all I'm not that talented I can't outsmart the average mind let alone smart people I'm not 6 foot 4 and I don't have a 10 inch monster cock, I I'm not superhuman and I'm capable of health problems And I used to think I could get away with eating shit or not caring for myself everyday, but probably I can't, and I shouldn't I'm not as hot as brad pit and hot women won't throw themselves at me, I have to earn them, I have to work to become attractive, and I must cherish every trait that is in my control, I probably can't win at dating apps except the odd fluke match, I need persistence and work ethic. And I can't get rich by being lazy, or by not giving 120% every day continuously I'm not naturally organized & I'm very adhd, but I will never quit, I will do everything I can to become organized, being disorganized and unfocused makes me miserable, having a productive day makes me much happier (and richer) and more present because I@m not thinking about work (lack of) when socializing All I have is to generate good qualities, like people skills charm work ethic humility and cooperation, persuasion. I can learn & harness these, then I can win and have everything I dream of. I must cherish all of these things and never become arrogant because I'm not gifted enough to get away with being arrogant.
  10. I'm aware that many posts this week were triggered by deep frustration & hurt from both external rejection but also my own inadequacy and inability to bend my way round problems : I thought I would be this boss by now years ago and I'm still barely the man I envisioned. This alongside continuous rejection deeply hurts me, and that leads to anger. But I don't think anger will help me, only doing things differently, and getting myself to focus hard on what's most important (finances, life skills, dating, personal growth, charisma) But I do have an issue with people pleasing and boundaries. So I'll strive to become a likeable, approachable, charming (and I hope, eventually mesmerizing) guy ... but also have the monster within me ready, and easily activated at all times, the ruthless arsehole is always there and willing to take charge and dominate when I need to, and no more people pleasing, no more giving my power, time or energy away to others without purpose or out of meekness... no caring what others think in the slightest, ... yet I will do all this whilst still being a generally charming and likeable person, well I am on the process to becoming that. I must remember it's a process & I can accelerate the process massively with more intensity & hours put in, but I can't make it happen over night or in a week, I can't get disheartened & must take fulfilment in the journey and keep going despite how deep my frustration is, and how strong my regret is already, but I can't just be 19 again, that wasn't my path and I didn't know any better back then, so here I am, But I must go the extra mile because I can waits months, but I'm not waiting until 30's, fuck that. Persistence is still my highest value, and that's why I give myself 30 days to kill myself (Must improve big to stay alive), I am that deeply serious about Personal Growth. Lets be real, most people will never get the results they want, and if they do they'll probably be 35 or 40 already by then, and still will only be half the person they could've been. When I say results, I mean literally reaching my highest potential, literally impossible due to my upbringing and past choices, but getting as fucking close as I can as soon as I possibly can, and doing nothing else in life. Highest potential is a serious term but this will include being as funny as I possibly can, being as fun and charismatic as possible, ironically a serious persuit that most people never would even conceptualize. Back to work please, over-journalling makes you an NPC, almost every tool is harmful out of moderation.
  11. 30 Days To Kill Myself. This is an unusual way to start a thread, journal ... but brace yourselves. I have been very on & off with my personal development, basically barely growing but just surviving. I work hard enough in the morning, but then I literally spend all my spare money on uber eats, junk food and spend hours being indecisive, watch porn and waste time watching repeat self help YouTube which I don't even remember. I am only getting older and slowly/quickly burning inside more and more, there is no place in this world for me if I am not as the person I was meant to be, and I'm not allowing myself another 10 years to get to that point, I've been into self improvement for 4 + years now, and lack of results and growth literally burns me inside now. This is actually a very positive message, this is the most authentic and down to earth way I could motivate myself, this is the only way for me to do it. If I don't give everything my all for 30 days straight every single fucking day from now I will kill myself. What does giving it my all actually entail (Based on what I value & have a burning desire to achieve/Remove/solve) : Actually letting go of useless impulses like spending $10 on burger king > complete empty calories devoid of nutrients that leaves me unsatisfied, sweaty, and guilty. (Nothing against ordering food as I hate cooking & it's a terrible habit for entrepreneurs (unless you're unemployed/completely broke obviously), but it has to be healthy food or at least nutritious and not fucking burger king, literal empty childish nonsenso Letting go off impulse for sugar & ice cream and other stuff Embracing pain & embarrassment & shame & awkwardness & my own weakness & stupidity & ugliness every day > And approaching her anyway, making that sales call anyway Doing several hours of study /practice every day towards enhancing my skills, and then diligently reviewing that study notes or practice routines (E.G practicing how to use a software do something technical, a marketing structure, repracticng vocal range & charisma in the mirror ect..) Inspiring myself everyday Journaling & reflecting not in a woowoo way but in a calculated and systematic way to ensure I learn & solidify lessons in my mind, go over stuff, gain clarity everyday. Facing fears and approaching women every day with zero excuses, especially when there's escuze, especially if she has a boyfriend, mum, family. Feeling enjoying soulful and beautiful music and appreciating art and other stuff : WHY? BECAUSE THIS IS A SECRET CHARISMA HACK, THIS IS A HACK AGAINST BEING A BORING PERSON. LOOK, IF U MASTURBATE & EAT BURGER KING & JUST WATCH REHASH OF THE SAME REPETITIVE MESSAGES ON INTERNET OR BLACKPILL OR EVEN SOME BORING SELF REPETITIVE HELP ALL DAY AND DON'T TAKE RISKS OR GET INSPIRED, THEN YOU HAVE BORING ENERGY, NO SEX FOR YOU, NO FRIENDS FOR YOU, NO CLIENTS FOR YOU. I think being a bit lazy or wasting a bit of time is not TOO bad for average folk with certain minds, but for genetically ambitious and inspired men like myself, it is POISON, tempting an ambitious man to smoke weed or eat snickers or watch blackpill videos or is like the same thing as feeding meth to a young child, because a genetically ambitious man is extremely miserable even if jsut a few years of his life were last, he knows he'll never get those back nor never ever reach his geniuine full potential because only prime years are truly when the perfect ripening can occur. Back to main message, I have to give my all every 30 days or I WILL Kill myself. You think I'm fucking joking, but this is the most authentic way I can motivate myself right now, and I'm serious. I will be journalling every morning & night every day & I'm willing to lose some sleep to get ahead, but only for the first few days to jump start myself & get up early because I need a fully functioning mind. You think I'm making the weak move here but actually this is how I intuitively become my strongest. .... * Extra note on my fight in order to not kill myself (Believe me I want to threaten myself like this, everyone has they're style, so fuck you if you wanna tell me "just chill man" this is my style of personal development you can have your own). So the opposite of death = life Opposite of death = ALIVENESS opposite of Boring = BEING ALIVE, FEELING ALIVE How do I harness this? Facing fears & embracing challenge Not half asing anything Welcoming pain & negative emotions - fully feeling them & not numbing them, but also finding strength within them Taking on & embracing new hobbies, skills - Being more open minded, experimentation Setting goals & striving higher, not just chasing meek goals but also big, inspiring goals, being a little unrealistic. Being social and connecting with the world, not letting fear or trauma prevent me Going after I want regardless of the outcome, and then doing it all over again 1000 times until I get what I want, and maybe another 3000 ect... Time to work, quick.
  12. And what you REALLY mean is ; I wish I didn't stop avoiding doing all this and running away from my greatness, because the avoidance leaves me in a perpetual uncomfortable state of anxiety, self hatred and dissatisfaction. And because embracing the path would ironically feel less heavy and painful than not doing the work. I feel extremely anxious if I'm not either : A - working hard (Business job hobbies) or B - Socializing/dating/practicing PUA If i'm not doing A or B and I'm just "durping" around it feels very very painful and heavy, it is fucking torture. I did it this evening and I am not satisfied, I am going to have to study and work & sleep a little later because if I don't I won't sleep anyway because not doing work poisons the body & mind with fear, worry and self doubt, that is unquestionable. Where as DOING THE WORK = FREEDOM, If you keep going long enough, you have to have enough persistence to wait it out long enough such that the work can become enjoyable, because pua starts off also akward and painful, and I am still in this phase after doing it for months/years on and off, but had I ploughed through it like a soldier, and literally done it every day for the past 3 - 6 months I'm sure I'd be out of that nasty stage already, the harder you work the faster you'll reach that road to freedom, so get ahead in the race before it's too late.
  13. No, don't even consider it, Maybe for HIM OR HER, but not for me. It is 100% negative no matter how little I smoke, it always leaves me a little weird and confused that weak. There can be no middle ground with this one, Weed is a hard no for me, effects are far worse than alcohol for me also, even in miniscule amounts. "Do you smoke weed?" "Yeah I mean maybe somtimes u know hmm well ..." . NO. No I don't. I do not smoke & I never smoke because I decisively gave that up for life it is very bad for me, sorry. Be fucking clear about my boundaries, with myself first and foremost.
  14. Quick thoughts (be concise, prioritize & using timer - must go back to grind ) Can occasional small amount of weed (quality strain)in right amounts, example once a month be a net positive & spark of creativity/intuition ect... My intuition says no & that entertaining this thought is dangerous, but worth considering Is the serotoning vs dopamine distinction that leo & others refer to for reward pathways (quick rush vs slow satisfaction) ... is this binary jsutnother oversimplified psycho-bro science or is it real. 2 minute timer up, too slow. Continue later
  15. @ValiantSalvatore @Leo Gura Thank you for taking time out to respond, really appreciate this.