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Everything posted by JonasVE12

  1. You can also import 10 guys from Bangladesh and let them play for you in exchange for a place to sleep. If you have a basement that's perfect. And in terms of food, you just give them dry bread.
  2. That's the main reason why I am here on this forum. I do feel like there is a lack of clarity in the way I reflect on things. I'd love for you to write some paragraphs about what's behind your statement. Thanks.
  3. You have a subjective representation of that experience stored in your subconscious mind, and that is what you will experience during the lucid dream. If you haven't ridden a ferrari in real life and you ride one in your lucid dream, the interior will never look like the one would look in real life. You fill in those gaps of what you don't know through your imagination. Maybe you have looked at pictures of the interior of a ferrari. Or you have watched a video of a similar sports car. It can get close, but it will always be a subjective representation that comes from your subconscious. It's those images and ideas you collect through your past experiences. If you think a DMT trip gets you into a place where you experience beautiful and colorful geometrical shapes, then that is what you most likely will experience. If you have heard stories of people meeting elves, there is a chance you will meet one during your DMT trip.
  4. This is not a problem related to a lack of conversation subjects. This is an emotional issue. You are reactive to your nervousness and fear. And you are a nice guy as well which means you aren't willing to push tension, not willing to own your feelings, and you are hiding your sexual desire from her. Instead of thinking about this issue, see if you can become more comfortable in your own body, be more bold, more honest and direct. And see if you can handle your own emotions while you are doing that. Because for a nice guy, that will be a painful thing to do. But that's where you will become attractive. That's where you will get a sense of safety in your body where you won't need to think as much in order to attract women. It will just happen. Conversations will flow from your body when you become grounded in your own emotional vulnerability. Thinking about this issue doesn't solve this. Facing emotional tension will. Next time you see her, simply say that you find her attractive and that you would want to get a coffee with her. It will probably not work out, but what matters is that you become vulnerable to what you actually feel and that you dare to express that. And if she rejects you, embrace that. Rejection is just guidance and it is guiding you to to become the man that you want to become. The problem is when you are not getting rejected and avoiding it by playing it safe. You should aim to meet a lot of women and practice emotional vulnerability. You can even say to her that you are nervous and own the shit out of it. That's attractive because you are owning your own emotions. Never run away from nervousness. Show it to her apologetically. But first you need to accept it yourself of course. It shouldn't be about this girl. Make it about yourself and your own growth.
  5. Beauty is found in presence and so the question is just, why are you not being present in your day to day life? Where are your contractions? Where do you desire to expand? What areas of your life aren't fully what you would like them to be? Are you even becoming honest about what you desire and lust after? Do you even dare to dream? And do you have the courage to go after that? Don't aim to have a good life. Aim to have the life you want. Psychedelics open you up to the present moment and it's beauty. You flow and play. And it connects you to the feeling of it. God is just showing you what's possible when you get present. It's holding your hand and giving you a glimpse. But then you are on your own when you get sober and you have to gain that strength and clarity to walk the path that will lead you to embody the types of things that will ultimately let you access presence. And it starts with dreaming and honesty. During your day to day life, you just aren't at that level of presence. Your consciousness isn't flowing expansively. It's stuck in the mind, into limiting beliefs and certain embodied states of emotion which are limiting you as well. You are looping inside a certain vibrational reality which you are not choosing freely. It has been chosen for you. So now choose what you want and start planting the seeds that will be tomorrows success. Happiness emerges through planting seeds and watering them. Consider which seeds you can plant today. Some important seeds are a healthy diet, a good sleep schedule and daily meditation. Doing that consistently will already increase your baseline state of consciousness. Treat life like a lucid dream. Look in front of you and imagine if it were really a dream and you could choose who you would be. Where would you travel to? Who would you meet? What car would you drive? How would your day look like? What types of communities would you be involved with? What would you create? What would you contribute? What emotions are there? Walk that outer journey which is your dreams. You will have to grow internally as you walk that outer journey. And then you'll have it. You'll enter a stage of life where you have fulfilled that desire and now it's off your mind. You embodied it, you integrated it and you let it go from your mind. One less worry. One step closer to liberating yourself. Each step gets you closer to presence and with each bit presence you get a bit more beauty.
  6. Make sure that the country/city you choose offers the right opportunities for the things you want to accomplish in your life.
  7. These are patterns that are wired into your nervous system. They are stuck there until you release them. Analysing and conceptualizing the issue is rarely productive if you care about solving this. To some extent, you need to conceptualize to attune to the right solution so it makes sense in your mind. When you get certain about that solution, there is nothing else you can do other than to walk that path which is your solution. If this is a chronic thing, and if it's deeply rooted into your being, then you have to understand that it will take a significant amount of time and commitment to solve this. There is no little 'mindset hack' or 5-step process that will instantly release you. You need to surrender to tension. That's the raw truth. Tension is everything that you resist emotionally. And you resist so much. Simply walk around the street and imagine yourself doing all kinds of things. Even little things. Imagine asking someone 'what is your favorite color?' or 'Can I take a picture of your feet?'. Play around with your imagination and feel how contracted you are in relation to the outside world. Your spiritual path has to come down from your mind into your body and physical world. An interactive process with the outside world where you can learn to release all that resistance you have inside yourself. Once you become conscious about your contraction and you see and feel it clearly, now you have to commit to step onto those experiences until you become free. Until you release all your attachments and identifications. Get to a point where you have no resistance anymore. Where you can look anyone in the eye without worry. Where you can say all the things you want without any hesitation. The world can become your playground where it's only games for you. Pure beauty. And there is no limit to the experiences you can have. Shame and fear are there for you to transcend them and to pass the lessons you learned to others who are on the same path. Take a year off from any obligations, and surrender to this path. Your level of commitment will determine your success. Go outside all day and step into all those experiences where you feel those painful emotions and process them. Do it gradually and progressively so your nervous system can process. Do it daily for at least a year. Start with small tension and go through those experiences thousands of times until there is no anxiety anymore. Don't do too high level of tension at first because your nervous system can't handle that. Small things done on a consistent basis will lead to massive amounts of growth you can't imagine. So have patience and commit. I started asking directions or the time and I done that months before I did anything else. For people like you, most of your spiritual path is done outside, in front of other people. Not inside in thinking. Thinking will never solve this. That's just avoidance and confusion. If you are not sure what to do after reading this, just start a 3 month commitment where you ask 100 strangers for the time. And if that's too easy, then wish them a great day.
  8. Love emerges naturally as you become vulnerable to your feelings. It requires you to recognize and acknowledge it. And that's feeling it fully without any trying, needing, doing. It's also to see how that emotion carries thoughts with it. And how those thoughts generate more thoughts. And to notice when you're judging the experience of that lower emotion. Maybe you are even judging your judging. And maybe you are even judging that you didn't notice that you were judging, when you finally notice that you are judging. You basically generate clarity within the experience. You become aware of the whole cluster of feelings and thoughts. See what's going on. Are you making it pesonal? Are you making it mean something about you? Are you projecting the feeling into stories about the future or the past? Can you become aware of all of that a little at a time? When you become aware of what you're doing inside the experience, you're peeling layers of the onion. Love is the onion, but you first need to peel away all the things that are preventing you to access it. Most people, when they are experiencing negative emotions, they will repress it, avoid it and distract. Or they pull away from it and try to manipulate the feeling of love in their body. It's something they try or do with their will. You always want to get rid of any trying and forcing. It is something that has to emerge. And that happens through becoming aware, allowing and welcoming. Imagine if you have a dirty closet. If you want to clean it, you have to open the door and pay attention to every seperate element that needs cleaning. You first clean up your reactive mind, and then you get access to the raw feeling in your body. At that point it is just sensations. Play with it. Move the energy. You can just let it go in an instant if you want and let any emotion come up that you want, such as love. It's the mind which needs to be stilled first.
  9. My beloved dog is dying, they say. He got surgery yesterday and he is still in very unstable condition. The veterinarian says the chances are very low and death is likely. He had a bowl obstruction after eating a sock. the tissue of his intestinal walls was aleady damaged and purple. I went to visit him this morning and to be honest, initially, he looked super down and in pain. The vet said he wouldn't eat and also vommited in the morning when he woke up. I was super sad because I thought I was going to lose him. I put my hands on his body for half an hour and started breathing energy/intensity into my energy body, mostly from the earth beneath me, charging with love through letting it flow through my heart and then sending it through my hands into his body. My hands were tingling and radiating warmth. After that, it was almost as if his behavior shifted 180°. he stood up, became more energetic, his eyes became more alert and connecting with the environment, he started using his nose, walking around, sniffling, iniating some little play. He also became more alert when I said things to him. Then after a while he started searching for food. Found a little chunk of food on the ground and started eating that. He even drank water and didn't vommit that. The mood of everyone changed. Initially everyone was sad around him, but then after that experience, it was like the field in that room was super positive and hopeful. When I left, he ate a bowl of food which was almost unbelievable. Then later the vet called saying that he didnt vommit that food which made her hopeful as well. I left the vet in a very ecstatic mood. Very weird as they said he would most likely die. I feel he will not. I just feel it. Does anyone have any experience with reiki? How to do it more effectively? I haven't taken a course but I feel intuitively attuned to it. But it still feels a bit clumsy as I do it. I will visit him tomorrow and do it again.
  10. Thanks guys, He is fine. He could go home the day after I made this post.
  11. 2 of my friends who are coaches, will be holding 4 different weeklong immersive programs during the following dates. PROGRAM 1: 19th September – 25th September 2022 PROGRAM 2: 26th September – 2nd October 2022 PROGRAM 3: 3rd October – 9th October 2022 PROGRAM 4: 10th October – 16th October 2022 Location: Budapest, Hungary They are entirely donation based. You don't have to pay anything. Even the accomodation is taken care of. Only at the end, you pay whatever amount you want. These 2 are true masters of game. I haven't come across anyone who's better than those 2. The common teachers on youtube don't even come close. They have also struggled with al the common things everyone struggles with when they start out. So they can relate and offer guidance from that understanding. Consider yourself very lucky. They put a lot of love and energy in these programs. This will easily cost you 10-30k elsewhere with less qualified teachers. You won't learn any lines or techniques. They don't teach superficial quick fixes. You'll be guided to transform your inner being so women show up naturally. This is deep transformative work so don't even bother if you aren't willing to change and go through your limitting beliefs and feelings. You will spend most of the time outside your comfort zone. But only so that you can handle it and grow. I will be coaching on the 4th program as well. Contact me if you are interested. This whole program is entirely free. I will send you their website and then you can schedule a call if you are interested.
  12. The only one who can let go of the need for safety is you. You can only do it now. You can work up to that, which you are doing now and maybe will be for weeks/months/years/decades/lifetimes until you are ready and have built your inner strength. When you control the mind with the presence of your godlike consciousness, your pure will and intention is the truth in that moment. You can overcome any emotional hinderance when you raise your consciousness. When you can become really present and aware now, and you let go of your identity and expand your bubble to include the whole universe, then as you do this, how can you be afraid of others? If you see everyone as yourself, how is there fear? Don't you see that you are just judging yourself through others? The only one who can stop judging and become honest, is you. And you can't think your way into that. You just have to align and become that. Let yourself judge yourself. Embrace it and it will dissolve. If it is a very strong blockage in your life that you can't get over, it may be useful to stop trying to do it for a while and contemplate the inner mechanics of this whole issue. You may find that you can just dissolve it when you unlock the right insights/feelings/visualizations. You of couse have to embody them through attention and repetition, going into the insights more and more with full focus and attention, days on end. If you do it whole heartedly, you will notice that you will change on a deep level. And then it will require a little action in the outside world to confirm in your subconscious mind that those insights are now your reality. You just need to sit down with yourself and let yourself be guided to ask the right questions. Don't ask me what to do. Just sit down and let your inner compass take control. All what you need to know is already here. It just comes down to wether you have enough desire and attention to ask the right questions, and enough courage to deal with the answers. Ultimately it is just fear that let's your ego persist. It is what keeps people stuck for lifetimes. If you can look down upon it and make it feel really small, through again, intention and visualization, you will notice you can just step over it instead of 'Breaking through'. It's as if you step over a small rock instead of needing to break through a whole mountain and digging a tunnel. It will take you ages to do that, especially if you just use your hands.
  13. The basis of happiness is how you experience the present moment. It's the amount of feeling you experience on a daily basis. That's what keeps you aligned to what you are creating. Because happiness is the basis of succes and not the other way around. If you have no feeling connection to the now, because you live in a permanent state of emotional contraction, you will eventually burn out with your pursuits because they come from the mind. Remember that the body fuels the mind. Imagination and experience fuel the body. And feeling aligns your mind with creation. So how are you fueling your body so you fill it up with excitement, joy, adventure, passion, and love? What experience and type of imagination are you having to channel those energies? Not only related to the engineering goal, but any other area of your life? Are you a loner by choice? I can't imagine it feels good to be alone all the time? There is so so much out there for you to play with and have fun with. Any desire here? If it is limiting beliefs and negative feelings that is keeping you a loner, then you have to realize that will act like an invisible prison around your creativity, joy and inspiration in all areas. Not only with people but overal because it is how you feel about yourself. And how you feel about yourself determines everything you do and feel, and what you don't do and not feel. The possibilities in your life come from how you feel about yourself. It is either contracted and small or completely open and expanded and you feel like everything is possible for you. And how can you not become motivated here? Your feeling relationship to the goal of engineering might be positive. And so you have a decent motivation. Yet if all other parts of your life, you feel numb, then eventually your tolerance to the present moment will lower until you can't feel connected anymore because you simply don't enjoy your life. And so you dissociate from the moment. I'd prioritize joy and contentment over 'succes'. I'd also reframe succes as feeling content in the present moment 80% of the time. When you achieve this, it will energize your mind to be able to work on your engineering goal because you become attuned to flow states. Of course feeling 80% contentment and joy in your daily life isn't easy otherwise you'd just do it and not be stuck. But there is the work to be done. The engineering goal might partially be a future fixation in order to escape the discontentment with the now. Once you sort that out, the engineering goal might disappear altogether. I had these fixations a lot when I was living in discontentment. And each time, I realized it was an escape. But then I'd find another fixation, and another and I wasn't realizing I was making the same mistake over and over again. I just didn't had the courage to face my fears and shame so I kept distracting. It was like an endless loop until I confronted all my fear and shame and transcended it. I pursuit many college degrees and always failed. One instance, I studied VFX and after a semester, I couldn't bring myself to do the work. I didn't even make my exams. I burned out. I asked myself 'Why do I always burn out?', and I couldn't understand why. I thought maybe it wasn't what I really wanted. But really, it was because I lived in a state of emotional contraction due to fear and shame (How I feel about myself). Once I cleared that up, man, all the confusion lifted like foggy gas rising up the sky. And when you look back down as the fog disappears, you look in front of you and see the endless joy to be experienced. And it becomes all about discovering that and playing with that in the present moment. And if I decide to pursue some goal, I effortlessly enter flow state because it comes from wanting/being instead of needing/having/forcing. And I can merge with it for hours and lose touch with time. So yes, loneliness and lack of connection was a barrier to happiness/success because it came from how I felt about myself. And that determined everything my conscious mind was envisioning, escaping, pursuing, etc. And everything of it was bs.
  14. Speechlessness is no problem. It's when you are in your head about it that it is a problem. If you enjoy it, she will too. It's the aversion that creates tension and that will create a loop of manifesting that same thing over and over until you become okay being speechless. Once you truly become okay with it, not resistant, you'll speak effortlessly. But many times, silence feels better. The most exciting of a conversation is energy/feeling and if you become a master at that, you can attract a woman without speaking at all. But keep in mind that some women are in their head too and if you just look at them without saying anything, they won't get it. Then it's your job as a man to ground it and make her present with you. But you need to get out of the head and into the body, because you'll push away people when you connect from your head. Try to connect from the lower body and heart.
  15. A good friend of mine is a coach and I've observed many things in him that point to why he is so successful. One of the biggest factors is that he is insanely good at meeting strangers. Back when I was learning to approach women, and we went out together, it was super impressive to watch him approach and learn from him. Just wherever he goes, he pulls people in. He creates these settings where people come together and share a good time. Anywhere. He'll walk down the street, see 2 beautiful women and stop them, make then attracted and the next instant he ignores them while he pulls in 2 other beautiful woman that pass by. One after the other. I was still a newbie at that time. I was impressed to say the least. Often guys that see him doing that get curious, want to be his friend and ask him for advice. Now it's very easy to convert them to clients. He is a coach related to becoming more social and attractive. He doesn't even need social media presence. His physical presence pulls people in and creates opportunities just like that. And if he would focus on social media, he would be massively successful because he backs that up with real results. And people want results. If you want to become a coach, one of the most important foundations that you can build is to become very good at meeting people. A coach generally has to be a good leader for people to trust them and gravitate towards them. Any type of coach has to be a good connector and leader. So this is an important area to master and it will already create lots of opportunity. I bet if you would approach 50 people a day with the intention to get to know them, you would be able to get clients. From the connection with those people, Make them see that you can help them with some area they are stuck. If you become really good at meeting people, you can do that. I have personally done door-to-door sales. I have knocked on tens of thousands of doors to get people to buy services and products. And it works. The thing is. You have to give up the need for a container for sales to happen. You need to become pro-active in generating sales. You need to put yourself out there in the most direct way, but also very calibrated to feeling and context. Aside from that, you have to be able to offer something. And you have to be clear and confident in what exactly you are offering. And it seems like you are not entirely sure on that. I'd pick several areas of your life (maybe not financial and LP related) to work on and master. This can be connecting with people, diet, approaching women, exercise and fitness, some hobby, meditation, discipline, etc. You could also work on emotional mastery. Pick some experiences you feel resistance towards and work on releasing that resistance. Public speaking is a common one. The more experience you get with mastering different areas of your life, the more clarity you have in the thing you offer and in how you can help people get results. Maybe there is one specific thing you want to help people with. Master that and put yourself out there for people to know that you have mastered that thing.
  16. Go outside now, approach a woman and tell her everything you wrote here. Allow yourself to become really vulnerable and feel all that pain and frustration. Now express that to her. Don't ask for anything just express and feel. Watch the magic happen. If your mind tells you no, then why not? When will you? If not now then when? There is no other time to be vulnerable other than now. If you really connect to that realization, the now becomes your gateway to solving this issue. Your desire for healing needs to be stronger than the desire to distract. So can you go outside right now? Your heart is wounded. The expression of feeling through vulnerability is your way out. It is what is needed to increase emotional embodiment. And then you can connect to people through feeling rather than thinking. Humans connect through feeling. If you have not yet become grounded in that vulnerability and you haven't found a way to express it, you will always feel up in your head and disconnected. Here you became vulnerable. I feel your authenticity. Now how can you share that with the world and be unapologetically vulnerable? Not in a needy way. Grounded. This is not too difficult, but if it is, then start with objects. Walk outside in the park and become vulnerable to trees and plants. Share your feelings with them. Don't talk, just feel. Create a vulnerable connection and let them in your heart. Walk past objects and smile at them. Feel their energy. Eventually you can work your way up to approaching women and simply telling them 'Hey, I am learning to connect to people, what's your name?'. And eventually, you can just approach them with the intention to get to know them. And don't try to connect to them. Simply look in the eyes and let your body guide you. And allow and embrace the vulnerability. Eventually your heart starts to heal and you become anchored in feeling which grands you access to curiosity, listening, empathy, polarity, banter, play, etc... And that's when you start to bond. It's your 2 bodies being connected through a hose and there is a flow of different energies going back and forth. There will come a time in your approach journey that these energies will be warm and loving both receiving and transmitting. And this is where connection happens. After a while, you can create this energetic hose with anyone and within that connection you can play and dance. Even just walking down the street and looking people in the eye, you instantly feel connected to those people and feel curiosity, turn on or joy. And they do too. Put another way, you have to undertake a journey that puts you in front of a lot of people, seeing if you can express some feeling to the other person and being vulnerable to that expression of feeling. What I did for example is, I would walk down the street in my city and observe people and notice how my body felt in response to different people. I saw someone with a super cool beard and I went up to him and said 'Great beard. How do I grow one?' He appreciated it and became a little shy. Also one time in the club, when I still had huge fears of approaching women, and I was frustrated that I didn't take action, I just sat down on a bench at 3AM. There was this woman standing there and I just went up to her and said 'Can I be honest with you?', She turned towards me and we spoke for half an hour, super vulnerable and raw, expressing my fear and frustration. I felt ecstatic after I did that and the rest of the night was amazing to say the least. Feeling and vulnerability are key. And action.
  17. When you walk down the street, and you smile at people, notice how they smile back. The only thing you have to cultivate is a connection to your own heart and practice opening it to people and when you become really open from the heart, people will smile back. You only had to attune to the right feeling and intention in your body. And reality mirrored that. You smile, they smile. Notice how I'm even engaging you in the law of attraction now. When you attune to the energy of what I'm saying, we'll create an energetic match. And that's because I am intending to engage you in it now. Notice how I'm trying to manifest a little connection with you now, through my intention? I speak to you now, do you feel that? Was the moment of you reading this here if I didn't have the intention now and skipped this post? If we aren't vibrating at the same wavelength, you'll ignore this. If we are, you understand intuitively and spontaneously. You can shift your vibration consciously to match the vibration of my words. Simply through your intention. Reality will always match your intention and internal feeling state. Both feeling and intention have to be in alignment in order for creation to happen. If the intention is there, but the feeling creates resistance, things won't manifest. Then you use intention to change your feeling state, and now when you do that enough, you will change your baseline feeling state and you will become internally aligned to create what you intent to create.
  18. Ultimately you desire clarity. But you won't find it with more seeking and future thinking, or endless self-reflection in thought. Your life is how it is. It may be a certain way, and you may wish it would be different. But can you be content anyways? Can you silence your forever seeking mind and just be still? Can you let go of all your goals and desires for a month? Can you then begin to learn to enjoy the sensations in your body when you still your mind? Can you literally just sit in a chair for a couple hours without the need to do anything and just observe? Can you spend some time in nature and let go of technology for that time? Maybe you can even enjoy doing nothing after some time. Just keep letting go and observing. It's when you learn to enjoy silence that you understand that you don't need anything else to fulfill you. And so compulsive seeking ends. When you live with a stilled and centered mind, the present moment is already enough and it will feel whole to you. You'll feel a sense of warm comfort and serenity. And above all, you just feel clarity. Not in thinking. But in feeling. Any goal worth pursuing will come back up in your consciousness. From presence, you are in alignment with the feeling of creation. Creation will be discovered through the now and is all about the now. And so there is no 'willpower'. You just flow with what you are creating because you are not in resistance to the now. And if there are challenges, you will easily transcend them because when you are really present, you naturally have access to higher intelligence and you can shape the moment in so many creative ways to overcome what you need to overcome. The answers are already here. The question is just, how can you get rid of that fog your thinking mind is creating. Slow down your racing mind and you'll channel everything you need to know to be who you want to be and create what you want to create.
  19. Depends on why you want to do it. For some fun? Sure, if you like that. It can be interesting definitely. I've only done 200UG trips in social settings and for me it was the only time that psychedelics became useful and meaningful. I wasn't doing it for fun per se. my intent was always to transcend fear and shame. And man, it was incredible. I have no words for it. I had done LSD lots of times before, but never got anything useful out of it. Only a lot of confusion. When I went out in public on LSD, I understood everything I wanted to understand in this life. But yeah, healing vs fun. Different frame.
  20. Ultimately it's just projection from your subconscious mind, and it is mirroring how you feel about yourself. I'd inspect self-esteem issues. When you haven't felt recognized or loved by the people external to you, it's normal to have this sort of defense mechanism that is about attacking the outside world in order to get a illusory sense of power and self-esteem in yourself, which is an automatic reaction to not getting it from other people. Being valued and loved by others is vital in happiness. But once you tap into the more universal vibration of love that goes beyond the individual, you don't need that external love anymore. But it also requires being established in that vibration as a natural state of being. To get there, it is always good to do regular meditation, more than an hour a day. Some long determination sitting. As well as focussing on purification of the body. Cultivating presence is the key. And from presence, love arises. And it is a steady flow/stream that is uninterrupted. And it is both internal and external. You'll feel more one with people, and in that space, curiosity and openness can arise, instead of defensiveness as is now. It's all found in presence and stillness of the mind, and purification of the body. It's all connected.
  21. There isn't much 'doing' in this. Rather think about doing less. It's all about feeling into your body, feeling your turn-on energy and letting her feel that as well. When you look at her, allow yourself to sink into her eyes a bit. Take her in. Feel turned on for her. Don't think about it. Just notice what you are already feeling. Some shame, guilt and fear may come up. Now you work through that. Also express directly what you're feeling and thinking about to her. Express sexual intent verbally as well. If you have a problem being direct with your feeling/energy, you can use verbals to guide you into the tension. And now limiting beliefs and negative feelings will come up again. Process them. Always keep in back of your mind to connect to your lower body deeply. When you're communicating with her, just in the back of your mind, put like 30% of your attention on your own body. Especially the spine, legs, feet, outside of the body, the pelvis, stomach. Relax into those. Those will ground any nervousness and reactivity when being in sexual tension. It's mostly when you tense up these body parts that you raise up into your head and you become ungrounded and reactively expressive. The lower body parts and the spine/back are the masculine. When you are deeply connected and relaxed into those body parts, playing with sexual tension is easy. It sounds like your feminine is well developed, which is amazing. You just need more tension skills and grounding. And that you do through connecting with the body more and more while being under tension - such as being direct with a woman. Look at Russel Brand. His feminine is also well developed, but he is grounded under tension. He knows how to look people in the eye with sexual intent and feeling. He transmits that unapologetically and that's why he is attractive. Ultimately you need to become comfortable with your sexual desire and express it unapologetically. A nice practice to start this is to just start approaching women in public and be unapologetically direct with them. That's tension and now you are learning to become grounded in it. Also, a nice practice to do as well is to observe other men in public and notice where their energy is located. Some men are up in their head, anxious and nervous. Some are apathetic. Some are confident and grounded. Some are prideful. Some angry. Some are grounded but not feeling much emotion. Feel all those subtle differences. Especially look for men that feel masculine to you. Replicate that energy within yourself. Police men, firemen, navy seals are examples of such men. They are usually very grounded and good with tension. See if you can feel into such people.
  22. That feels like strong apathy. Realize this. Thinking will never resolve any of your issues. Only feeling and action will. And if you aren't clear on what type of action you need to take, then start here. Just spend one week in nature, don't do anything else, don't bring a computer, phone or any distraction. Just sit with yourself and take a notepad with you. Start to find out what you want out of life. But don't force it. During your time alone, maybe also go to the city a few times and just walk around and practice feeling your heart. Practice feeling joy and relaxation. Look around. Observe people. Notice how they are feeling. Notice how they make you feel. This process will get you out of your head and into your body. There will come up tension and frustration probably and a bunch of other feelings. Can you sit with all of that? Can you release and get to a place of relaxation? Can you allow yourself to enjoy the moment as it is, a little bit more each day? Can you become more fluid in feeling and imagination? From reading this post, it feels like you have a strong want and also strong frustration related to the want. You most likely have a bunch of limiting beliefs and stories about yourself. There is the notion of 'I can't' t when talking about how you want freedom. So slowly, without forcing, when you start to relax a bit more after you've been there a few days, you can start to imagine what your ideal life looks like. Because you spent some time away from distraction, automatically you will sink in your body and your body will guide you to insight about what you want. You need to get out of the mind for inspiration to come. Nature is perfect for this. There is something magical about it's effect on your mind and body. You'll feel curiosity to different ideas after a while. You can proactively generate different ideals in your mind and practice feeling in response to those ideas. When you find out your ideal life and you have felt the excitement that comes with that imagined ideal, now you can start to do goal-setting in order to get that life. But the reason you are in apathy is because you have limiting stories and beliefs about yourself. Now the goal is used to change your self-esteem. Because the core of apathy is self-esteem. Thinking about your ideal life, you probably feel resistance as well. Distance yourself from it and just feel as if you already would have the ideal image. The key is also that you can never change your life if you can't exactly envision what you want. There needs to be a set object of focus: Your goal, which by using your frontal lobe, selectively focusses your attention of taking action on that goal. Imagine if the world is empty. And you say 'I want to focus on something'. How can you focus on something if the world is empty? In the same way, how can you change your life if you don't have clarity in what exactly you want? So the first step is to work on that. You could say 'I just want freedom', 'I want to feel joy and excitement'. But what are the experiences that will allow you to feel that? There is not just one? For me, riding a motorcycle at high speeds in beautiful landscapes gives me thrill, joy and freedom. But also meeting strangers, making friends, dating women is exciting. So what are all those experiences you would have right now if you would be fully free? Once you know all of that, you can work on releasing resistance to those goals and taking action. But again, without clarity, you will always be wanting and thinking about having a better life. But nothing will come from it.
  23. There is something called succes orientation. It's focussing on the small successes and small wins, rather than the things you perceive as wrong/failure. When you focus on failure, you will get more failure. When you focus on succes, you will get more succes. If you are going to see yourself as a failure simply because you haven't achieved your ideal scene yet, then that's a problem, because then you'll always feel like a failure unless things things go exactly the way you want them to go. And all those thoughts and feelings of self-judgement and self-hatred are the result of focussing on those perceived failures. Change your criteria for succes. For example, if you fear giving her a compliment or you feel nervous looking her in the eye for too long, can you let that fear go, and do it anyways? Or if you can't do that, can you tell her that? Can you own it? The key is just to go on more dates and to release some of your judgement and self-hatred a little bit at a time. A little bit each date. Each date will go better. With each date, see if you can focus your mind on the succes, and the feeling of that succes in your body. That will compound over time. Can you feel proud and courageous because you got a date, and you dared going on the date? Can you feel hopeful towards your future, because you know that each date will grow you more to the person you want to become? If you feel shy, nervous and insecure during the date, can you maybe own that and even tell her that? How much courage and acceptance will that bring you? That would be a huge succes. Can you even start to love yourself when you feel unworthy? Can you also stop judging that you judge yourself? Can you let go of judgement towards judgement? If you can't let go, can you accept that you are doing that? Can you stop making all of it wrong and just be? This is all a sort of meditation. You release your negative energy in your body and mind, and you transmute it to self-love. And that will ultimately get you out of your head and into your body. It will translate to having more confidence and presence with the woman in front of you. You just need to focus on small successes. And trust me, if you focus your energy on succes, that will compound a little bit each time. And over time, it will manifest outside yourself. And women will mirror your increases sense of power and succes. Because ultimately, it requires personal power to stop focussing on what's wrong, and instead focus on everything that's right. Lots of men can't even get a date. So you are already doing super well.
  24. Fart and poop your pants in public until you don't care anymore. Maybe get a fart cushion and start there. Use it to trigger your repressed feelings and release them on the spot. Just start 'farting' in front of other people and you'll naturally start to heal. Then maybe progress to pooping your pants if you are ready. I did something similar for my toilet anxiety. I was always afraid I would pee my pants in public so I started to throw water on my pants when I went outside and released what came up. And then I progressed to actually peeing my pants. Going through the actual experience of peeing my pants in front of other people, but from a place of proactivity, naturally released the resistance to the experience of peeing my pants. I could relax into it and let go of the resistance. And so my anxiety disappeared because subconsciously, I knew I could handle it. The problem is that you think you can't handle it. And so therefore you resist it. If however you would allow yourself to go through the experience of the thing you resist, you would be amazed at how much more emotional discomfort you can handle and you would realize your own power of turning discomfort into acceptance. You just need to become proactive instead of reactive. And that means stopping avoiding and stepping into the tension of that resistance.