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About BlackMaze

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  1. Just try to sleep early and wake up without an alarm. Your body knows how much sleep you need. When you sleep plays also an important role. I noticed that when i manage to sleep at 9 or 10 i wake up with more energy. According to an ayuverda book i read many years ago 10 pm - 6 am is a good sleep schedule.
  2. @Striving for more ok mine has 3.5% almonds and only gelan and it's bio. I don't drink cows milk and i just tried or saw the ingredients of the other vegan milks and i just like the taste better. It's perfect. How will i eat cereal without milk or with something that tastes weird? That's why almond milk.
  3. Life purpose today: Hours this week: Total hours: Music: Workout: hatha yoga Diet: Breakfast: 10 Lunch: 7 Dinner: 7 Meditation: 46' This meditation/self inquiry was deep. Normaly i wouldn't be able to sit for so long. The position was uncomfortable but that didn't stop the meditation. I didn't force it i just didn't want to stop. Visualisation: 15' Reading: Currently reading: To do 1 thing: done Smoking: I don't know, enough. usually around 15-17. Minus 3 points for everyday i smoke. Sleep: 9.5 hours Energy: 5. I started with a 6 or 7 but then i had alot of things to do and couldn't eat lunch until late. When i ate lunch all my energy was gone. I could barely move. Maybe it's because i ate white pasta. I will do my best to avoid it when possible. Then i did some yoga and meditation and i have a little more energy. Other: Actualized videos + notes: Breathing exercises: alternate nostril breathing Body awareness: Courses general: Contemplation: Values strengths evaluation: Me sheet: Think death: Affirmations: Contemplation lp: Effort: 5 Thoughts: I really didn't have much time to do many things. When i came back after eating i had no energy to do anything. It's a 5 because even without energy i pushed it and moved my body to do what it could. The meditation today was amazing.
  4. When you say try, you assume that what you want to do it's so hard that you might fail at it because you feel a weakness to do it. When you try you talk to your head. You say either: come on man! You can do it! Or: you know very well that you don't have a chance. You are too weak. You suck etc. Let's say you want to do something pleasant, play a video game or whatever. This is easy and requires no effort. Let's say you have a delicious cake in front of you and can't wait to eat it. You wouldn't say i will try to eat the cake, because it's piece of cake. So you have something hard that you want to do. It's normal to feel resistance doing it because we have a stupid survival mechanism to preserve energy that makes us lazy. To overcome this you need to go against this tendency to preserve energy and do the opposite. The thing you want to do needs X amount of energy. When you try to do it you need alot more energy because of the mental chatter. In the end i don't think that you try to try. It's just a habit of the mind to masturbate with thoughts. Just listen to the thoughts and emotions, accept them and move the body to do the action that you know it's the best possible for the present moment. This is the skill i currently try to master
  5. @Michael569 thanks man I already started seeing a difference in how i feel because of the healthier meals and my appetite got bigger.
  6. Life purpose today: Hours this week: Total hours: 97.5 Music: 10' Workout: 100 pushups, 100 crunches, 100 back extensions, 10 pull ups, massage, hatha yoga Diet: Breakfast: 10 Lunch: 10 Dinner: 6 Meditation: 20' I focus on the emptiness feeling that comes up when watching the thinker and realizing i'm not the thinker. It's still slow but i feel it more often lately at random moments. Visualisation: 10' Reading: done Currently reading: The untethered soul, the journey beyond yourself To do 1 thing: done 2 Smoking: Let's say 3 more so 14. I didn't smoke for 5 hours but i couldn't do it today. Most likely after some days and this is a reason that i'm not so happy with my effort. If it was my absolute best effort i would have quited today. The fact that i didn't means that i couldn't and maybe what i did today was in fact my best effort. Sleep: 5 hours Energy: 5 i was tired the whole day because of only 5 hours of sleep but i didn't want to wake up late again Other: Actualized videos + notes: Breathing exercises: wim hof breathing. I also turn the water to cold every time at the end of the shower and i will continue to do this everytime. Body awareness: Courses general: Contemplation: Values strengths evaluation: Me sheet: Think death: Affirmations: Contemplation lp: Effort: 5 I only half liked my effort. I'm tired and i will not do anything else today. It wasn't so bad. I'm eating healthy now and i can feel the difference. I started working out a little more seriously. I will be doing 20' meditation and 10' visualisation or visualization everyday. Thoughts: It's not my laziness talking but i think that i need to have some balance that's why i'm going to play some video games now to be able to wake up happy tomorrow and put more effort
  7. Haha. I ate enough to know that it's shit. In some places is at least tastier.
  8. @MoreLove thank you I wish you the same!
  9. I wrote this thing above and i guess now i should do it. I can feel the resistance before even starting but it's the best way i can think of to change some things faster. This is an experiment to find out how much work i can squeeze out of this lazy state i'm in. I will track my habits but i will not measure my success only by doing them. I will look at them as a buffet and choose what looks more tasty to eat, in other words what seems more important to work on. This means that i will not be doing all of them, it's just a list with the things that i decided are important to work on. This list may change. I will put grades on some things 1-10, with 10 being the highest grade to measure my progress on some things. I will grade my happiness with the effort i put in each day and for me this grade is the only thing that matters for the purpose of this journal. The goal is to update this journal until the end of November 2021. The only exception is if i travel for vacation or something serious happens. Things i want to have as habits or track: Life purpose today: Hours this week: Total hours: Music: Workout: Diet: Breakfast: Lunch: Dinner: Meditation: Visualisation: Reading: Currently reading: To do 1 thing: Smoking: Sleep: Energy: Other: Actualized videos + notes: Breathing exercises: Body awareness: Courses general: Contemplation: Values strengths evaluation: Me sheet: Think death: Affirmations: Contemplation lp: Effort: Thoughts:
  10. And you wake up in the year 3000 but you still are a delivery boy Yeah that's crazy.
  11. My favorite rapper of all time is a guru
  12. After following @Michael569's suggestions i finally know what a perfect breakfast looks like! It really makes a difference in energy levels. It's called healthy porridge and i decided to eat with it all the fruits and berries for the day Ingredients: almond milk, musli, a tablespoon of quality peanut butter, 2 handfuls of blueberries, a banana, an apple, a mandarin, a handful of sunflower seeds and a handful of almonds!
  13. I need to put in the work to make up for the lost time. Some years of my life are already wasted. I don't want to waste more. I want to create a good life because i'm not satisfied with many things. I used to have a strong will power but now it's weak. A story that i was repeating in my head (and still believe) during the years i was wasting is that to change everything in my life for the better it's as simple as just flipping a switch in my head. If i just do that i will be able to just do it even if i need to resort to sheer willpower and just move the body. It's time to test if this is actually true or if i was just bsing myself. Keeping a journal here was very effective for me that's why i'm giving it another go. I don't care if i become neurotic with this or workaholic. Actually this is what i want to try as an experiment for let's say a year. Not doing the things i decided i want to do will keep me in the same situations and environment, same energy levels, bad health and a miserable social life. The goal is to expand my comfort zone and grow my willpower as much as i can. I need to find a balance between all activities and areas of my life. That also means that i want to force myself to rest enough and to plan time to have fun. I also want to force myself to learn how to just do it effortlessly without feeling that i'm forcing it. I want to force myself to live in the now until i realize that my self is an illusion but after that still embrace it. I also want to fix my bottlenecks and my weak areas. This really includes everything. I don't expect to have much success with this at first but at least i don't want to quit. I want to see how far my absolute best effort can move me forward in one year. My absolute best effort might seem like a joke some days but it is what it is and the goal is to expand it. I will be tracking some habits and my success of just doing it every day starting from Monday. I'm not motivated at all to do this. In fact i feel lazy af. But i can't wait until motivation hits me to start doing the work i want to be doing.
  14. Some good games to play: Nier automata The Stanley Parable Layers of fear Bioshock infinite Witcher 3 What remains of Edith Finch Mgs the phantom pain Pathologic 2 Portal games The binding of isaac rebirth. Maybe my favorite game but also highly addictive. I also agree that dark souls and hellblade are amazing.
  15. @Natasha sounds like a plan