Sabth

Back then I feel like I am always being followed. I felt something's presence. It appeared to be louder when I am alone and not with my family (when they are not around). I got this a lot as a child/young kid. I hear breathes a lot. Until I went to a place where there are others. I guess they like young kids because now I no longer had it. Back then I could felt the presence of God ,angels and demons. It just felt like there are other beings other than the seen. The spirit world. But now I no longer felt it. And I used to have a recurrent dream of flying /floating. It was a theme I had throughout childhood and adulthood. But then , I grow out of it.

I wanna live in x.

Yesterday I had received my packages and today I had received too. I'm still waiting for my skincare from China. And another thing from china. That would be , maybe a while. Ten days? Maybe. So today I just tried the ones that has arrived. ♣️

I wish I can buy everything that I've ever wanted . But, I wish I work. But,

My another order has arrived. It was my 9 step skincare. I have bought all except one. The most expensive one.

My order from Korea has arrived and another from local state has arrived too waaa.

My order had been cancelled yesterday It has arrived in my state even since 8th April but wasn't delivered to my house. And now it was cancelled after three failed delivery and was sent back to the seller all the way back to China🤦🏻‍♀️. I had already imagined all the things I could do with it. It's really lame. This courier. I had placed this order since 2 April.

What should I do? It could have been my sister.

That's 19 years in the making.

8-26 years old - it's gone~

Would it be good if I go to a new house and start my life there? At least my things (/collections) aren't stolen. If I wanna start something new *sigh* I should start in a new house. (My own).

I don't know how to get my life's worth it. I still got dreams arguing with my mom because she took my things. My stolen things. I don't know. While not knowing anything/the truth. I still got this trauma.

Now this camera had becomes $2050 .

.

Today is 15th April and is the 6th Syawwal , which is the tenth month in the Islamic calendar. Idk. It is spring. Flower season. Idk how to make the most out of my time. Probably this month I should do 7+1+6 more days fasting. By this, it means the next month (ZulQaedah) would be in 10th of May. *I am not doing well.* I am not doing well. Idk.