How To Get Laid - Part 1 - The Foundations Of Success with Women

[blessedlion1993]

@Jacob Morres
I think you're misunderstanding. I am not labelling Heirarchies as bad , you seem to be doing that. 

Here's a simple example;

Imagine that there is a company trying to slow down pollution, there is someone in the company, the CEO, who has studied plastic usage, proper recycling etc for years and knows exactly how to reduce this issue. So he presents his idea, then an intern, says "no, let's just do THIS" (insert horrible idea here) without the power dynamic, the CEOs idea is on the same level as the intern. In this situation having a power distribution is important. And the Intern can still be treated with respect and dignity but his idea gets rejected ultimately because the CEO is higher on the decision making ladder. And pollution goes down. 

Your point on racism is totally invalid. Racism isn't beneficial, ever, where heirearchies and distributions of power CAN BE, when used properly. Racism is definitely in our minds and psyche, as are heirarchies, but one is totally destructive and ignorant, another can be productive. 

The problem is when the CEO thinks he is better than the Intern in some absolute sense. But the Intern may have more mastery in meditation and in that arena he would have more say and power. 


@Leo Gura

Solid, I'll take that into account. I typically don't test out different things like that (taps of shoulder, smile, etc) but it could be fun to try and fine tune it. I just worry that could get too "heady" also you need a ton of data points because some girl might hate being touched by a stranger and some might love it. Some may find a shoulder tap creepy another sexy, so it's hard to write "THIS is the perfect number of taps"

Being in the body and at ease is always invaluable. Same with ridiculously strong eye contact. I think a large % of success goes to luck and energetic match as well. 

Some questions;

How much honing of skills can go into it? You think you could ever get to a point where you're hitting 90% success? Like is that even possible?

Also, what's the best way to gain skill, just observational experience? And what exactly are you observing? Her reactions?

Also, do you do most of your pick up at clubs? Bc it's a totally different demographic with different results. What if you brought the same tactics to a yoga group for example?

[Jacob Morres]

@blessedlion1993 i agree with what ur saying for the most part in ur last post 

i was mainly arguing against the negatives that come with hierarchies in terms of feeling superior to others . not to argue against the benefits of where hierarchies are important

 

Edited November 10, 2021 by Jacob Morres

[diamondpenguin]

@blessedlion1993 You just have to get in touch how other people feel, that's the bottom line. If you are in touch with how they feel, then all that headiness and thinkin' you do will fly out the window.

[Shin]

2 minutes ago, diamondpenguin said:

@blessedlion1993 You just have to get in touch how other people feel, that's the bottom line. If you are in touch with how they feel, then all that headiness and thinkin' you do will fly out the window.

That's super difficult to improve if you're not an INFJ

The T types are so in their head it's almost autistic, but when you do learn emotional intelligence (well not really learning but hey), it's SO easy to know exactly what people feel in a fraction of a second.

[Girzo]

4 hours ago, blessedlion1993 said:

Imagine that there is a company trying to slow down pollution, there is someone in the company, the CEO, who has studied plastic usage, proper recycling etc for years and knows exactly how to reduce this issue. So he presents his idea, then an intern, says "no, let's just do THIS" (insert horrible idea here)

That's why the inter would have to consult some other worker before opposing the CEO's idea, and if it's a healty organization that worker they consult will know about CEO's expertise and talk him out of stirring conflict. But even if not, then it's still WORTH IT to let the inter oppose the idea and stir controversion, so someone can spend time with that intern and expalin why this idea is good and the company will go with it and not his idea. Such approach creates very intelligent workers who are knowledgable about how company works, most guys have no idea how exactly their firm operate, that's why they oppose doing some tasks, etc.

Ok, intern shouldn't have such privilages, but fresh worker should I think. In an ideal organization at least (ideal for the first 50 years of XXI century)

[Tancrede Pouyat]

Ok I finally managed to finish the video.

This was a really great one, @Leo Gura, thank you so much.

I guess I have to bite the bullet but I really reaaally don't want to do cold approach. I was thinking of just meeting women via yoga classes, dance classes, special interest groups, that kind of stuff.

I do realize the amount of women I'd meet that way is low but I think I'd be much more comfortable and confident in those scenarios.

Thoughts, anyone?

[blessedlion1993]

@Tancrede Pouyat

Absolutely nothing wrong with meeting women via yoga, dance, special interest. In fact, that is probably much better than cold approaching since you have a mutual interest. 

 

The issue is most guys don't go socialize and do those things, which was a prime theme in Leos' video. 

Meeting women in these places is going to get you much higher quality picks than a club, so do that but you're still kinda cold approaching, you still need to state to these women that you find them attractive and flirt with them. It's not enough to just go to these classes and make friends with them, bc you'll get stuck in the friend zone and end up spinning your wheels. 

Some people may act like its' weird to hit on girls in yoga because it's spiritual but that's absolute bullshit, just do you and go after what you want, and if you have to step on some toes be okay with it. 

My advice is do both, but DEF don't drop trying to meet women via yoga, dance, etc, that's a fuckin bullseye!

[Lyubov]

23 hours ago, LordFall said:

Society is really killing us with sexual shame. I've had that same thought before, a girl rubbing herself against me will find it creepy if I get hard/horny. 

lol but that is not actually how it plays out, I'm sure you know. If anything I go find a dark corner of the club to make out and mess around a bit 

[Tancrede Pouyat]

Aaaah thanks @blessedlion1993 this is great advice! I shall do both! You got me all hyped up!

[LordFall]

8 hours ago, Tancrede Pouyat said:

I do realize the amount of women I'd meet that way is low but I think I'd be much more comfortable and confident in those scenarios.

Thoughts, anyone?

The point of it is to do it in an environment you're not naturally confident and comfortable in. Imagine you're literally developing the skill to go out in the streets and strike up conversations with strangers and if that's not awkward enough, your aim is to seduce those strangers and to go out with them from a random approach on a street corner!

Trust me, when you develop this skill coming back to an environment you're already comfortable with and naturally relate with people will be like shooting fish in a barrel.

I've done probably 600 cold approaches and I still consider myself beginner level but I still got two girlfriends, not off of cold approach but after that experience going to a social circle it was really easy to talk to, flirt with, and ask out the girls that were already a part of my daily life. 

[Striving for more]

@LordFall I really like how you think. Cool bro

Especially the part about entrepreneurship, highly resonate with that & I figured that out a year ago, partly inspired by some of James Marshalls opinions on lifestyle design. 

I'm very far away from actualizing that but It's in my horizon.

& the bit about females being interesting too. Highly resonate.

Edited December 13, 2021 by Striving for more

[joelpires]

a little bit off-topic I know sorry...but just wondering if someone has a transcription or summary of the video? This whole trilogy is immensely condensed and useful; sad that there's no text/transcription to study/highlight on

[FlyingLotus]

@joelpires A few people did notes on those videos.  A lot of episode summaries can be found in the Actualized.org Video Summaries thread.

 

[joelpires]

@FlyingLotus Thanks! You've been doing truly awesome work. I really appreciate it 

[FlyingLotus]

9 hours ago, joelpires said:

@FlyingLotus Thanks! You've been doing truly awesome work. I really appreciate it 

You're very welcome .  Hope all that content helps you get enlightened, or laid, or both ?

[playdoh]

On 11/7/2021 at 8:03 PM, Flowerfaeiry said:

I think it's great. Thank god, in fact. We need more men knowing this stuff. Tired of guys being scared of me.   

Wutsup im really good at this

[Aldrich]

On 12/15/2021 at 4:30 PM, FlyingLotus said:

@joelpires A few people did notes on those videos.  A lot of episode summaries can be found in the Actualized.org Video Summaries thread.

@FlyingLotus Thank you for always being so helpful and kind to people here at the Actualized.org Forum. I think you are a valuable member of the Actualized.org community.  

BTW.  Really good choice for a profile pic.  I think Mulan is a good symbolism for who you are.  You're a strong woman that is willing to do what is necessary for her family or the people she cares about.  

你好!

我希望你的勝利!

 

 

[RMQualtrough]

Rofl. Who are the people looking for this sort of content. Btw unrelated side note, everyone does chin ups on the bloody train don't they (I do too).

[Focus Shift]

I found the series really valuable, and integrating dating and sexuality can be an extremely spiritual process. It's better to integrate it and have healthy relationships than to suppress it and become resentful. Models by Mark Manson also really helped me in this area. For me, pick up is not my thing. I don't consider "negging" or manipulative behavior to be useful in the long term. However, it is useful to gain insight from Leo and Manson who have gone through pick up themselves and share what they've learned.

 

 

[Aldrich]

@Sempiternity

On 11/8/2021 at 9:31 AM, Sempiternity said:

I have to admit, I am super disappointed with Leo's content lately, and this video is just a straw too far. It sees like his teachings are going backwards with Leo's journey to higher consciousness, going all the way back to beginning with videos on how to make girls squirt. Leo, you can't have it both ways, you either are teaching to the highest of consciousness peoples, or you're teaching to the lowest consciousness, and lately it seems you've chosen the lower consciousness teachings. Even on the forum, the majority of your responses are on the sex and dating game section, which saying volumes of where your interest lies. It's getting to the point where I no longer suggest your work to others, as this is the stuff they will see. I implore you to please stop trying to cater to everyone. You're a business man, you should know business 101 is to not try to cater to all people, but to narrow your focus to a niche' market. If you want to cater to teenagers and people in their early 20s just starting out in life, then to me that somewhat negates the more higher consciousness serious work you're doing. It's like finding out your favorite academy award winner drama actor, with a decade solid respected career, started doing toilet humor teen comedies. I hope you choose a niche' of higher consciousness work, and leave all this 'how to nut' work behind you. 

This is just my 2 cents. You on the forum may disagree. Please respect a difference in opinion. 

"You're a business man..." Leo is not a business man, he is a sage that pursues higher consciousness. Although Leo still enjoys certain things and hobbies.

Dating and Sex can lead to marriages. Marriages can lead to procreation. There is a practical benefit in having a decent population. So in a sense there is a higher consciousness aspect in Leo's decision to respond frequently in the Dating, Relationships, and Sexuality section. 

Have you done shadow work? Have you worked on the lower parts of the spiral? Remember that TIER 2 Stages in Spiral Dynamics build on top of the lower stages. Do you have a stage red or stage orange shadow?

I advise you stop telling Leo to leave the 'how to nut' work behind. Again being higher consciousness integrates the lower stages. Being higher consciousness doesn't mean bipassing the lower stages.

Do you have anything against people having a good time and getting laid? We don't have to work all the time you know?