Preety_India

This guy obsessively messages/texts me.

29 posts in this topic

My mom put my name on a dating site without my permission. 

A man who got my details from my profile started contacting me a few days ago and directly spoke to my mom. My mom got friendly with him despite knowing that I've a boyfriend. 

He excessively praises me calling me cute, funny and beautiful, but he does this everyday. 

This guy is obsessively messaging me in a super needy manner. I don't know much about him, I keep putting him off by saying I'm busy and that I'll talk later or some excuse. He keeps waiting and when I'm home, he starts texting continuously. Right now he is texting me. I told him that I'm watching TV and his texts are still coming in. 

I honestly don't know what to do. I rarely block people. 

I want to reject him. 

I want to tell him that I am not going to have a relationship with him  but I don't wish to give out any personal details of my life like my boyfriend and stuff. 

I feel a bit uncomfortable. Don't know how to handle this. 

He just sent me 10 messages/texts in a row and I didn't respond to a single one. My phone is pinging like crazy. 

Should I talk to this person or should I block him? 

 


 INTP loner... .shy girl.. 

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3 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

My mom put my name on a dating site without my permission

I think this is where it should end, if I were you. :D Just don't log on that website. If he blows up in your face, then "I have a boyfriend" answer, and any excuse after that, if this continunes, ignore, block and don't feel guilty about it. He does not own you.

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24 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

I rarely block people.

Block him.

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Wow, why would your mom do that???

Also, just block him. It seems like you are afraid to block or reject him because you don't want to be rude, but there's nothing rude about not being interested in a person and not wanting to endure constant messages from them.


Sometimes the only thing you have to doubt is your own common sense

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Your mom seems lonely.


If you have no confidence in yourself, you are twice defeated in the race of life. But with confidence you have won, even before you start.” -- Marcus Garvey

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@Preety_India The more you engage with him, the more obsessed he will become. I would cut it off. Block him before he gets more obsessive. I'd also ask mom not to engage with him. 

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lol, just say you got a bf and that this ain't gonna work out then block

Edited by louhad

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Block and run 


A thought can´t ever tell you how you feel.

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The issue seems to be boundaries with your mom, doesn't really matter how you handle the boy

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4 minutes ago, JohnD said:

The issue seems to be boundaries with your mom

+

You need to have a line. 

Maybe tell her that you will change your phone number and not give her the new one if she does this again. 

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@Preety_India Blocking can get tricky with your mom. I'd say mute notifications and ignore him.


"Do not pray for an easy life. Pray for the strength to endure a difficult one." - Bruce Lee

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I would tell him that you have a boyfriend and tell him that you don't like it when you said many text messages in a row like how he's been doing it to you. That way you at least are straight up with him about how you are feeling. It also will help with giving each other proper closure.

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Or mute him and ignore the messages.

You can do whatever you way. You have no obligation nor moral incentives to communicate with him at all. 

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I would tell him I have a bf and that I'm not interested in a relationship, then just block if he continues

Leading him on by saying you'll "talk later" and stuff was probably a mistake though. He's probably gonna be more angry and needy cause of that. You would assume he has enough awareness to see that you're not very interested though. 

Anyways, you're probably gonna forget this even happened a few months from now. 


 "If you showed a caveman our technology, he would think it was magic. And if you showed a modern man magic, he would think it was technology." - Outlast (video game)

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Everyone has already given advise on what to do with the guy but I think the real issue lies with your mom. Unless you have a talk to her or something then a situation similar to this will probably happen again in the future.

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@Preety_India I don't know why there is confusion about this? He got your info from a dating site. He wants to date you, not be friends. You have a boyfriend. Case close. Block him.

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8 hours ago, JohnD said:

The issue seems to be boundaries with your mom, doesn't really matter how you handle the boy

The issue is not just her mom. That would be unfair. This is an Indian Tradition that prolonged for generations: Arranged Marriage. This convention was and still to this day prevalent in the East. My advice: If you want to ignore him, do it sneakily and try not to provoke your family as it would result in more turbulence than there already is. Good Luck.

Edited by Abdelghafar
.

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Yeah, but if she block him then he could be in such a world of pain. You don't think that he would retaliate in some way or try to stalk him, right?

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1 hour ago, Hardkill said:

Yeah, but if she block him then he could be in such a world of pain. You don't think that he would retaliate in some way or try to stalk him, right?

The empathy is touching, but indecisive to the matter at hand. I don't sleep with someone because I feel sorry for them. Other people could pity-fuck whomever they like, it's up to them. And btw, if he stalks her, then that's the price you have to forcibly pay for being in such a society, even if you were born there and have no easy choice to make. Sorry, but life's not fair all the time. I live in Egypt, and I have to pay a hefty price for being in such an under-developed cesspool.

Edited by Abdelghafar

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