I have a ton of insecurities and I don't know how to get rid of them

[Buck Edwards]

I feel insecure about how the other person perceives me. I care too much if I feel I might be offending someone especially a loved one. I feel insecure presenting myself to people in a crowd. I feel people will mock me in some way or mock my intelligence. 

Deep buried insecurities but I don't know what to do about them. 

[Yimpa]

This thread could be of service to you. 

Enjoy!

[Princess Arabia]

You don't have any insecurities. What is actually happening is you have identified with the thoughts that are arising. You believed them to be true and now they are having a party in your mind. The first one you attended to, then the second, then the third and so on and they invited their friends and now they won't leave because they are being fed. You have given them power. Thoughts have no power over you unless you have given them an emotional response.

Notice how you feel insecure because of a particular thought that arose within your awareness. I mean literally notice it next time. Notice it's just a thought that you believe to be true, You have the power to affect people's behavior towards you by how you see those people and the thoughts you have about them. You are creating this dynamic with the mind and you can undo this using the mind; but you have to step outside and start to observe yourself and see yourself reacting the way you react and notice how you're just reacting to a thought. The first thought you don't have control over but you do have control over how you react to the second one in that train and the ones that come right after. After a while, when you stop reacting in ways unfavorable to the outcome you desire, they will lose momentum and you'll start to notice they don't have control over your state of being anymore or at best will lessen and not have the traction to cause a stir within you as much.

Edited Thursday at 12:43 AM by Princess Arabia

[shree]

My approach would be to identify exactly where those insecurities come from.

Often, people with insecurities didn’t grow up in a truly healthy household, even if, on the surface, their family seemed fine to an outside observer.

Is it possible that your needs weren’t fully met as a child or that you didn’t receive enough affirmation? If you had, you’d naturally have an internal sense of self-worth.

I was very insecure for most of my life and had to learn the hard way. Once I identified my specific issues, I educated myself on each of them, reading books and researching. I also did every single practice the books recommended. Today, I barely recognize the person I was a few years ago, and certainly not from 10 years ago.

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wW8yzTUFcts

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbqI50bJqwk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_WRSAxrTSg

[Judy2]

the "good news" is that everybody feels that way, to some extent.

[Hojo]

Im pretty sure the answer is to do things that get you embarrassed and hot but keep your head empty. stop apologize for saying something if you are. Let what you say hang if there is a reaction you dont like or no reaction at all.

Edited Saturday at 01:19 PM by Hojo

[Keryo Koffa]

It's calcified faulty beliefs collected over your life when you felt shame.

The importance you assign is disproportional and doesn't serve you.

But overcoming it takes some integration, faith, and awareness work.

[Joshe]

You have worth just because.

These questions might be useful for identifying what the issue is:

• Do you wish you were different than what you are?
• Are you holding yourself to unreasonable standards?
• Do you have values that you know you could live up to but aren't? 
• Do you want something impossible from reality? 

I noticed on the IQ thread you said you had the lowest IQ of everyone and I wondered if that bothered you. 

In my teenage years, I had a friend who was a solid 9 out of 10 in looks, and I'd rate myself a 6-7. Whenever we'd go looking for girls, they'd flock to him, ignoring me completely. If he chose their prettier friends, the remaining girls were visibly disappointed to be stuck with me as the only other option. I did okay on my own, but if he were there, no chance. I remember being horny as hell and listening to my friend bang a hottie in the next room while her disappointed friend refused to even make eye contact with me on the couch.😂 This did not feel good... at all, and it was common. 

To be honest, I never overcame this painful feeling, and if it happened today, I'd probably still feel a sting. lol, so I'm not sure how to get over it, but I guess we just have to have compassion for ourselves.

This is a good reminder/reason that whatever gifts we do have, we should not flaunt them. Humility has utility. 

This video might not be perfectly relevant to you but I like his thought process on why all humans have inherent worth.